About Tarof (Taarof), an Iranian tradition - Learn Persian (Farsi) with Chai and Conversation
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About the podcast:
Chai and Conversation is the only podcast available for learning purely conversational Persian.
About the video:
This is a short video describing the concept of Tarof, the Persian form of etiquette to people who may not be familiar with it.
As you can see in the video, it can be slightly extreme, and can sometimes get in the way of you getting what you want. But overall, it's like a dance, where all parties know what they should say in any given situation, and a way for people to skirt around topics, and not be completely direct with one another, to show respect and humility towards the other.
The two guys walking into the door was EPIC!!!
Although I do not speak Farsi (yet), I learned a lot about the pleasantries & courtesies through being married to an Iranian woman and attending a predominantly Iranian Masjid. The manners and pleasantries absolutely amazed me. Now I live in a small town in upstate NY, where there are no Iranians, no fellow Muslims and I've noticed that I am the only person practicing Taruf in my community. Many times people look at me funny when I do so, but they seem to respect the good manners. Maybe it will begin rubbing off on them soon. LOL!
Although I'm not Muslim, Ghoorbonet.
Afarin
I'm surprised about the Muslim part as most Iranian people (at least the ones I know very well) are not Muslim. Muslim and Iranian are not the same thing as some people do NOT understand this.
As for knowing Farsi and the culture good for you!❤
Your name doesn't sound Muslim
Hello David , you can learn Farsi with me if you want , just check the channel 👌🏻
For all those Persians who are bashing this video in Farsi. It is not bad to teach others about our culture. I am fully supportive of this video and would like to thank the producers.
Tarof is like a bad engine that never starts with the first ignition. It wastes your time... and time is the most valuable thing for a nation. Those nations that waste too much time are the ones that are weak, poor and backwards...
@@taseronify Every nation wastes time one way or the other
It's just very visible and obvious in this example, I grant you that.
@@a.534 Nations who value time most are the ones that are sending rockets to Mars. The nations who waste time are still beheading each other just like the times in medieval age.
@@taseronify Would Iran be an Islamic country today if the CIA and MI5 didn't launch a coup on our only reformist social democrat in the 50's because of muh oil? Nice try though.
@@taseronify hahahaa godamn bro
Sad part is when you refuse the food politely and everyone ends up having the food except you 😂😂
Iranian culture is interesting , I have heard a little bit about Rumi and other saints 😊
Persian seems to be a very beautiful language 😊 💕
This is absolutely hilarious and accurate. I usually see it when we go to someone's house and everyone scrambles to try and clean up the table and wash the dishes so that the host doesn't have to.
when youre tarofing your white friends with food and they actually say yes ._.
''Tarofing''? xD
Oh, yes, that's a word in my English vocabulary. It's like vodkating. lol
As if Persians weren't white, hehehe....
@@iberius9937 white largely refers to americans in the US
@@avim2578 To ignorant people it does, yes.
This is probably the best lesson of both Farsi and Iranian culture I have come across! Please continue to make these types of videos. I am a Filipino American & I have just started dating an Iranian girl. Her English is not so good & I have just begun to learn Farsi. Thank you for this video.
I love this video. I laughed so much because I have seen this situation so many times. Just walking through the door or being offered food at a friends.
The look on Mat's face at 5:40 - 5:43 (while hilarious) delivers the concept of Ta'arof very well! Usually you insist on doing something which you will regret later!
Those doorway-people are hilarious."But I already rolled out the red carpet"
" I will just lay down my shirt right now so you can walk over it"
"Let's just go together"
Lot of greetings from Switzerland. I just started to learn farsi .
Amazing video! Helped my college student who is Iranian but doesn’t speak much in a comic college presentation
This is a fantastic source of knowledge for someone trying to learn a little bit more about the Persian culture. Please make more videos!!! Thank you soo much!
HA, great video! I recently spent a month with my wife's Persian family. THIS IS SO TRUE. "The doorway"
I love it !!! Besides teaching Persian language you also get a glimpse into the culture.😃😃😃
One should know that Taarof, which means acquaintance, in addition to being often exaggerated, when explained to foreigners, also belongs almost exclusively to young children and families with children. But Iranians are not just children and families of children and this is quite often overlooked.
These have been very helpful, the little bird is adorable.
This is hilarious and had a good info!! And knowledgeable thank you🤩🤩This resembles the culture of India 🤩🤩
I'm 3rd generation (my grandfather immigrated) and I was taught these principles without knowing the background! I just thought it was common courtesy. 😂
Thank you for sharing. I am also really appreciating your Neem-Roonis series, since my mom was raised very split in America and we've both struggled to connect and reconcile.
Third generation!! So cool- I'm so curious about your experience! Like, do you feel 'Iranian'? Have you tried learning the language? I also have a new series called 'Raising Neem-Roonis' if you want to check it out on the podcast, you can find it at www.chaiandconversation.com
@@justleyla Oh wow. No one has ever asked me that before! I think I've had a different experience than some of my peers, but also grew up very assimilated at the same time. I think the racism against my mom as a child after 9/11 made me really uncomfortable accepting that part of myself/culture. She grew up in Kansas and used to pass off as Italian, so I learned by proxy it was safer to lie and lie-low (I look white, so why rock the boat... 😬). I've never been to Iran, and the American media has had a big influence on my fears about that, even as an adult. I grew up with simple Farsi words (bia inja, beshin) my mom knew Farsi as a child but lost it as an adult. My grandpa would speak at me, write me letters/birthday cards in Persian, but wasn't really a 'teacher'. We would send presents to my cousin's in Iran and talk on the phone, we celebrated Nowruz and listened to Persian music at home. My mom is a terrible cook, but she made an effort to take me to Persian restaurants so I would appreciate the food (though I just ended up eating trays of gaz... 😂). She hung the rugs we (somehow) got from Iran on the walls. I clung to a photobook of Persepolis my grandpa gave me, dreaming of the day I could see it...
Now, I'm working on learning Farsi to hopefully visit in the next couple years when I've saved up.
I'm not sure if I feel like I should call myself 'Iranian-American' or not. If blood or culture matters, if 'looking' the part matters, if it counts that my eyebrows grow in a straight line across my face. 😂 I have spent a lot of time debating whether I have the right to claim that, and whether it matters.
Well, that was a lot. Sorry! Thank you for asking me that though. It's something I've not really talked about with anyone.
Also, your podcast is awesome! Thank you for sharing the beauty of Iranian culture and Farsi!
@@Katherannereese Oh man, I just realized you mentioned Neem-Roonis in your original comment- I thought you might just have happened randomly on this video on youtube. So glad you're listening- it's brought up so many questions for me about identity, the important of language, culture, etc. And I think about that question too- about whether or not it 'matters', honestly, or if it's more important for us to be part of a global 'human race'. But overall, I'm feeling more that it does indeed matter. Your situation is an interesting one though, and I'd love to keep in touch and hear more about your journey, and whether you make it to Iran! There are a couple interesting accounts to follow- @mypersiancorner on instagram (and she has a blog), and this other instagram account @iranian_nomad. They make you feel like you're in Iran. Write me at leyla@chaiandconversation.com- let''s keep in touch, and thanks so much for your thoughtful reply!
In Italy
Scenario 1-2: is exactly the same...
Scenario 3: you caaaaaan't refuse anything!!!
Mediterranean tendencies and cultures have so much in common , i love people of the Mediterranean , southern europeans, balkans , persians , levantines ...etc.
peace bro.
My boyfriend is Italian-American and I'm Iranian-American and he had to tell me to stop refusing food from his family. Like, he got angry... 😂 I wasn't taught 'Tarof' by name, but that this was just how to be polite in someone else's home.
2:43 Omg!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 That was so much fun!!!!!
Loved it!
😂😂😂😂😂
I really appreciate this video! It's interesting to me see how in persian culture people really care with social codes and behaviour. Here in Brazil, believe me: it's a total mess! Thanks for sharing this video.
Charming and helpful. Thanks, guys!
OMG i just about lost it 😂😂😂 . But i tell you what, as i followed along ( physically ) through the laughter i found myself acquiring and retaining. It's very likely that i will remember what I've acquired. 😊
the videos are excellent, Layla. Thanks for producing, and I look forward to future clips.
Lol that was hilarious!! I'm Persian so that's why and I always see this happen at parties I go to. My mom is always "taroffing" :)
Just saw this... and LOVED it! GREAT job, Leyla and others... I also loved "joo joo" a lot :-))
Fantastically explained
Excellent video - most informative (and amusing !). Thanks for uploading.
It's a great language. Could you give me a Farsi word that is equivalent to "Oy", an exclamation of dismay?
this was great. motchakeram. Matt is very cute.
My soulmate is from Iran and i am here to learn Farsi so that i can talk with her family too, I love this video ...... Mersi Azizam
awww i wish you the best of luck
Thank you sweetie
I'm not learning the language but I still love the vids.
loved your video.
and had a hearty laugh at the end.... excellent video, makes me want to watch more.
Excellent I love it seriously now I can learn persian with fun
That's exactly how Indian culture is too ! Full of respect. Quite similar I must say.
Khalid Alakoozi Actually it is just not about the culture of Iran,Pakistan or India actually its about the culture of east.
I fail to see it as respect, since great deal of it is make belief and what is worse, everyone knows that it is fake.
Afarin Leyla Jaaaan bar to va doostanat.
Good job dear Leyla and your friends.
I'm not even Persian and this is how I act anyway. How funny.
+Kaitlyn Harvey hi this is hadi
i am from iran .i want learn english if is posible i teach u farsi and u teach me english.it will be my pleasure if have contact with you.thank you .
+Hadi Rafie Hi, Hadi! I'm about to start learning Farsi, and I would love some tips! I would be glad to give you some tips for learning English in return :)
Hi I am Hashem and a native Persian speaker. I would like to perfect my English. if you want to learn Farsi, send me your Skype and we can exchange our languages.
thank you for this, I love it and I will learn
It's not only in Iran culture. But in Pakistani , Afghanistan and Most Muslim countries we do not let other pay the bill. We prefer or everyone else on the table wants to pay the bill. Meaning Muslims are very generous people
I love it...you can learn very good from it!!! Please more! Merci!
THANK YOU !!! It is really helpful when I want to teach it to my friends :))
I LOVE UR LESSONS , PLEASE UPLOAD MORE OF THEM :-D
I love this channel!!
whats " I will just lay down my shirt right now so you can walk over it" in farsi? that is a fixed expression?
I personally gave up on fighting over the check. If they are insisting too much and trying to make a scene, I just gave up immediately and say "mersi". At times, I simply give my card to the waiter way in advance without anyone knowing and I only have to sign the receipt at the end.
Thanks Leila jan and everyone else. Well done
Fared Shafinury- look him up, he has several TH-cam videos as well!
In Slovenia we do something similar to tarof as shown in 2nd and 3rd case in the video. I never liked it as it is obviously insincere but still it seems it's ancient tradition.
I like this Tarof thing in terms of principle. I love the way it emphasizes humility and grace. These are very good things. But the problem is, it can still backfire horribly, esp. if you don't know about Tarof and you end up making yourself look rude by accident. And even if you DO know about Tarof, if you try to adhere far too enthusiastically in order to not look rude, you could end up going on an empty stomach (or at least end up going without that delicious dessert you've had your eye on all evening) all for the sake of virtue signalling. You can be honest and open and still be gracious and grateful to your host. But depending entirely on lies (such as insisting that you really, really don't want dinner or dessert even though you really, really do) instead of discretion and self-restraint to avoid looking like an ass is a very bad thing. As that poor guy who was denied the very tea he wanted ended up learning. Ouch.
BTW Matt is one funny, smart guy.
"Don't put it up in the air, this isn't NBA finals" lmao
I ❤️ Cockattiels :-) JooJoo is adorable!
very similar to javanese culture in indonesia
Mamnoon Leyla !
For the last scenario, Mat should have "taarofed" the tea to the guy next to him since it was the last cup left and 2 people were not served tea yet.
we can all agree that Iranians live a funny life
This was very interesting.
the other scenario is this: for example someone has bought something new, like jewellery, like clothes or anything. he/she may say 'varesh dar ' [have it], here in fact, he is using a Taarof technique to show respect. Here you should respond to his conversation using 'na merci, mobarak bashe' [no thanks, I hope it is full of good things for you'. This is again a convention through which a conversation continues. compare this to the daily English convention: the answer to 'how are you?' that you answer 'fine' although you are 'ill'. Or saying 'nice to meet you.'
this is a convention because Persian language is like a new game, in order to play in this field you have to learn he rules first.
Some of the taarof are costumes in Mexico... except for the restaurant, the person who invites someone to a restaurant is the one that pays
You said it.
awesome! Good job! love it.
nice one..
This is so weird, I always thought that if you were being offered some food or something it would be rude to say no...
Which way is the right way? In a modern Iran, or persian family?
I know right lol I just take it and thank them Nd compliment the food haha
What she says here is considered very tradifional. It's not like thaat anymore so help yourself :)
It is actually, and people are forgetting about it. You know there was somedays reason behind tarof. As Iran was in multiple wars or hard ships,people tried to help each other and show their consideration by paying for someone, avoiding to eat much as a guest or so on. But nowadays it's meaningless and being somehow annoying
Can someone tell me what my profile picture says? I couldnt fit the first letter. It may be I
That parrot is funny :) I like him
Well Hello from Turkey, we also have that kind of behaviour in Turkey, but not soooo much..
Like if i visit a friend (lets say not close) and he offers a drink, I say "ah no thanks" then he insists and then i say yes.. that happens usually
but REally guys, I just learnt that, and even cab drivers says no no no when you want to pay the fare?
Does the parrot speak Persian too!?
5:40
it's awesome
pls mooooore :))) very funny and very useful! daste shoma dard nakone ;)
leyla jan shoma az kojaye iran hastid?
Persians Should Be So Proud Of Their Culture For So Many Reasons. This Is Just One Of Them. The Most Unique People & That, In All The Right Ways....So Lucky To Have Been Born In Your Country, As An Armenian, To Have Had The Exposure To Your Beautiful Culture..... Best Of All, That It Was During The Pahlavi Era, In The 70's. Thank You For Being The Best Host, For Giving Me The Best Childhood. Thank You For Reminding Armenians Of How They Used To Be......
I see you have a JuJu in your picture (sitting on your pishi).
LOL I almost didn't notice that bird on her shoulder at the end...
great
What is the name of the song and musician you used for this video?
Thats right your first
لیلا خانم ویدیو تو دیدم فارسی حرف میزدی کجا میتونم پیدا کنم انگلیسی زبان؟
تلگرام گروه هاش اکثرا هندی بودن.
میتونی کمکم کنی؟
خودت چی اگه مایلی بیا چت کنیم
Can't blame him.
could you teach me a couple sentences? like "Nasif, Wake up my love. and Nasif, Please wake up, its morning!
+Monique Robbins
"Nasif, Bidar sho eshgham."
"Lotfan Bidar sho. Sob shode."
i am concerned for your woodwork
Oh god this is so true LOL
same happens in turkey to a some extend
qorboonetoon beram!!!
بفرمایید =)
I think 'Mashadis" had a tradition of "Tareff" ad infinatum........
Hahah, good one!
Ahahhaa!! Too funny and way too true
How did poor Matt finally get a cup of tea? :)
Although it made me laugh, I don't think these are the things we should teach our non-iranian friends and expect them to act like this in front of their Iranian friends. Instead we should learn to be more relaxed about it ourselves and learn from them...of course we can warn our non-iranian friends if they are about to meet our parents or grand parents who may be traditional, just so that they know the reason behind something they do or say, but I would never teach them to say no to tea! :)
IS IRAN A SAFE COUNTRY TO VISIT
Richard Gittmeyer
Yes
not at all
Humble man
Have you been there?! It's as safe as europe!
Of course yes
Well produced video, I liked the comedy bits a lot. However, don't you think that tarof is a completely absurd concept? It's all based on being disingenuous. It would have been interesting to see you offer a critical analysis of tarof, rather than just accept it outright.
It is actually, and people are forgetting about it. You know there was somedays reason behind tarof. As Iran was in multiple wars or hard ships,people tried to help each other and show their consideration by paying for someone, avoiding to eat much as a guest or so on. But nowadays it's meaningless and ppl are trying to avoid it
I think the purpose was to describe moreso than prescribe.
You’re beautiful!!
seems similar to indian
lmfao this shit is so accurate im dying from laughter
This was interesting to see. And I have to say its the same in Punjabi culture. The epic battle for the bill lol. I always pay for my friends though. I have seen at least with sociocultural aspects. From middle east to India it's basically the same... Killing your guests with kindness..
1:16
XD
spelt "cheque" wrong :)
Oh no! My boss is Persian and offers me food all the time. I've been saying thank you because in my culture it's rude to say no.
You're good, he might have not even doing Tarof, next time you can Tarof with him/her. Usually after Tafor one has to win, either the No wins or Yes, I've mostly lost when I say No, I end up saying fine.
You do realise most of us Persians give no shits about Tarof, just relax and enjoy yourself.
It's alright. It's rude to truly refuse in Iranian culture too. You're just supposed to accept it through the "fake refusal" of tarof before accepting it after a few turns. Third time is usually the charm. Plus your boss wouldnt expect tarof from someone outside the culture.
So is it in Iran
here in India, we have a similar concept to taurof called as "pehle aap"...which essentially means the same as "first you please"
rohit joshi beshak bhai sahab !
“Pehle aap” - The story of two nawabs who missed the train!
Tbf that concept exists in a lot of cultures, even western culture they offer women and sometimes men to go before them. There’s etiquette rules everywhere but in iran it’s very old school and sometimes over the top.
Let's consider that a gentleman letting a lady enter a room first. He never complains after she does enter because he honestly wants her to enter first. That is the key difference between kindness and tarof. Tarof is something different. It's just being dishonest to others. In the video they let him in but then they complained about him entering first. What they do is completely different than what they actually want. I think that is a serious `bug` in a culture that effects it's development. Every action takes x3 more time that normal because people have to act in a `play` called `tarof`.
Half of the world is wasting our time specifying whether we always do something or will be doing it one time. You're lucky to have good tenses in your language. And yes, there are MULTIPLE reasons why we're not the manufacturing capitols of the world, but each of them means we're incapable of being the manufacturing capitols of the world.
this is what it looks like when they find out it's an opportunity to make fun of us
-->th-cam.com/video/pOqBJaF9IN4/w-d-xo.html
They missed a pretty big one in your etiquette whilst shopping. Taarof while paying for your goods is a well known one, the shopkeeper literally says ‘you don’t have to’ Once he’s quoted the price of the product and you start to get your money out 😂. As a person that has an Iranian cultural background but was born in the UK, I found this hilarious and asked my family members in Iran ‘what if I said oh thank you and walked out’ they said they would then ask you to pay without the politeness lol. It’s just being polite for the sake of it