Thom your need is worthy and valuable so I made my contribution (small but with all my heart). We have you back!!! I am glad you reach out for help because being what we are in a truthful and free way is not a choice, it is a need!
Thom, you are precious to the community. You deserve to be who you are. As Maya Anjelou said to me at a GALA Chorus Festival in the 90's - "You be who you be when you be who you be." I have clicked on the link.
All commentaries made it better than I could. I want only to add that your content mean so much to us, to me that we are happy to be your therapists today, if only for a day, and that we would be happy to give you back some of what you have given us. I just hope that whatever you put in place, not having the same currency will not be a problem to participate because I really want to 🥰 And last few words : as Sarah Nelson already said "thank you for telling..." us 😉
Thom, please don't feel bad about asking for help. Your videos have given me so much joy. I hope my small contribution to your GFM brings you a little in return 💛
No one here would think less of you for asking for this kind of support. I understand how important this can be for you. By asking, you aren’t forcing our hands. We can all decide if we can contribute and what amount. Dont make yourself disappear (😉 thanks Mr Ajayi), your needs are important too
Totally agree with all the people who recommended setting up a GoFundMe and I'm glad you've decided to do that. Have you also considered setting up a Patreon? It's not going to get you the kind of money you need for top surgery, but you also mentioned that you've got a lot of debt and not a lot of salary and a Patreon could help a little with that. Honestly I've been meaning to suggest this for a bit since you're one of only two TH-camrs I watch regularly and I'm subscribed to the Patreon for the other channel. You don't need to have a ton of additional content there, some just have occasional blog posts, polls, and maybe a Discord link.
I totally understand your reluctance to ask for help, because I would be exactly the same way in your position. It’s always tempting to put your own needs last while being generous in helping other people‘s needs. But your needs are as important as anyone’s, and I’m sure there are plenty of us who follow you who would be more than happy to help.
I, and all of the other commentors here, are clearly part of your supportive online family. It would be an honor to help you and to show you our gratitude for the wonderful world you've created here and shared with us. Families help each other. That's what we do! Let us help. ❤
Your hesitation to crowd fund didn’t surprise me. While I only ‘know’ you through your videos and IG posts, it’s obvious you are a decent and generous person who wouldn’t think twice about helping someone else if you could. You deserve to be happy Thom and if surgery will help you achieve that, let us on the other side of the screen do what we can
Sweet sweet Thom. I know where you’re coming from - it is so much easier to help others than to ask for help yourself. I don’t know how it became embarrasing to ask for help, but it is so wrong to judge people when they’re at their most vulnerable. Even if gender dysphoria technically doesn’t kill you - it kills your joy in life and leads to other problems. Please take care of yourself ❤
I can absolutely relate to the difficulties in asking for help, and judging yourself for things you would NEVER judge others for. However you proceed has to be your choice, and something you’re comfortable with. This is intensely personal, and I appreciate you for taking just this step of sharing your feelings. But I want to echo what others have already written and encourage you to let us help. GFM is an option, and so is Patreon. I know I would give to both should they appear. (I actually jumped to the description first before the video even started to see if you’d created one and shared the link.) I only know you parasocially, but your content means a lot to me. Your content is special because of how much of yourself you bring to it, your warmth, your insight, your analysis, your humour, your vulnerability. You have given us so much of yourself, and I know I’m not alone in wanting to give back, as a thank you for all you’ve given us. Gender euphoria is beautiful to witness. As sad as you must’ve been making this video, some joy still leaked through as you recalled how you felt discussing the potential results with your surgeon. I want that so much for you.
Count me as someone who would happily throw money at you for this! You have provided me a ton of entertainment and happiness in the short time I’ve followed you. Even just post a Venmo or something if you don’t want to do a formal fundraiser.
Exactly! This channel has been a completely free source of entertainment, enlightenment and community and I've really enjoyed being a part of that. People would like to express their support for your work as well.
just want to say that there is always someone who is suffering more or needs more but life isn't a competition and you have to do your best to fulfill your needs. Also it's really bs that these are your only options. Fuck the US Healthcare system - someone who would happily contribute to a fundraiser. I feel like I owe you for hours of entertainment anyway :)
I donated before I saw this video, just watching some of your earlier content now. I’m glad your fundraising is going so well 💜 Your willingness to be so open and honest has been a huge help for myself and others - and you’ve lead me to jammidodger’s videos which have also been extremely helpful. I really enjoy your entertaining content as well, incl. all things Heartstopper-related.
I agree with someone's recommendation for patreon! Also look into foundations that provide grants for gender affirming surgeries (one example is Point of Pride, but there should be others as well) - see if you're eligible and send in an application! You also have a lot of people who would be willing to contribute if they can (myself included), so do not feel weird asking for help :)
I'm not going to yell you what to do or how to feel, but remember, you've got friends on here....and even if a lot of them are just parasocial relationships, you can't have parasocial relationships without the social part. Anyway, I'm bad at the feelings stuff, bit we care for you, we're here for you, and if you need stuff, dont be afraid to ask.
I have many things to say about this. You’ve said that you enjoy essays, so here it goes. Hoping that you won’t just delete the video while I’m typing because then everything would be gone and that sucked. You see, I do the same thing. I delete stuff when I feel that’s too personal or too boring or too embarrassing. Today I did that to a reply to your top surgery tweet. Anyway … I understand what you’re going through regarding asking for help. I couldn’t do that for myself either. But my fingers were literally itching to write something to you the minute you tweeted about your consult and the money that is needed. Then I thought: it’s a delicate topic. Top surgery combined with the money issue is so super personal that I can’t just write something, suggest something, ask something. I thought, ok let me wait until Thom mentions it again. So here we are. I’ll post this first part now and keep writing on a second part instantly. So hold on.
A couple of weeks ago you posted a picture on instagram that made my heart weep. It seemed to be a super hot day and you sat at a lake (?) and wrote: next year I will hopefully enjoy summer without a binder. Just imagining sitting in the sun with a binder makes me feel for you. GoFundMe is an option. But there are other options too. Probably even a combination of options. I thought of subscribing to you on twitch but a) twitch takes away half and b) it’s not enough. Have you considered opening a patreon account? People would be able to support you and would get something back. Your content is so enjoyable that I’d gladly choose a perk and become a supporter. Your videos have become the highlight of my video subscription list here on youtube. I feel understood while watching you talk. Please don’t hesitate asking for help. I’d go so far to say that you’ve created a pretty awesome community here. I can’t talk for other people but I’d gladly help. (part 3 is coming up. Stay tuned)
At least give people the option to help you. If they do it or not is everybody’s choice but please give an option!! When you tweeted the amount that is needed I thought: is that all or are there going to be follow ups in the recovery phase? Will you be able to work or do you need to drop out for a few weeks? It’s 3 am here and I guess I need to go back to sleep now. Hopefully the video will still be up later. I might have more to say.
You might not have a clue of what sort of a community you’ve created here. I’ve said it before on one of your other videos. It’s the friendliest bunch of people I’ve met here on youtube. What you don’t know is that I was so happy to find out that there’s another German and we started talking in private. I plan to go to Berlin next spring and start an art project (about Druck, don’t ask 🙈) and hopefully we can meet up. I was reading the other comments and yeah, your community here is like I thought we were. Pretty awesome ❤ And like someone said: Do it for us. Again: please consider setting up something ❤
Thom…just discovering your channel via your Heartstopper content. First of all, please keep that up!! Second, I’m proud of you (i hope that doesn’t sound condescending) for asking for help. You are worth it, and frankly, these types of surgeries should be easily covered by all insurance. I donated via your GFM page, and I wish you the best of luck. I’ll be watching your videos for updates when you feel up to sharing.
I'm sure lots of your followers would contribute to your costs. Please give us the option anyway. I give contributions to different sorts of causes and there isn't an absolute hierarchy. I have a family member who is trans, and and I can't imagine life without him. It's just wrong to make it so difficult for people to get the care they need, EDITED because I think my original comment was kind of ciscentric if that's a word.
First thanks for your channel, I’ve really enjoyed your content. I agree with others that suggested that you should start a Patreon so people that would to support your channel can and start a go fund me so those that want to support you can or not their choice. I would appreciate it if you could do that for us… ❤
I am so grateful this amazing community was here last night to convince you to not delete the video and that we do want to help. I should be careful with what I write, in the video you are making all the right realizations, while maybe seeming not quite ready to accept them, and we have to give you the space to do so in your own time. But thank you so much for taking this first step and sharing with us, it means so much and was such a relief after a day of frantic wondering how we would be able to help. ❤ I know we are not like a big army or anything*... yet! But if you would let us help at least a little, so that the loan/credit/grant etc. could be smaller, for example, it would mean a lot to us to at least be allowed to try. If you want to be left alone and curl up with more books, I would recommend Amanda Palmer's "The Art of Asking: How I learned to stop worrying and let people help". It is old and I'm sure there are many more current and more modern books on the subject, but I love her a lot, so it'll have to do for this comment. :D So, I gather from the other comments, that Gofundme is still a good place to raise larger one-time sums. But on a sidenote I also see I'm not the only one who would like to support you on patreon if you would ever consider that as a more long-term option. I would love to cancel my twitch subscription in favor of a patreon subscription, so just think about how much you would be helping me out here. :D *I think you started saying something along these lines in your video and then stopped yourself in the middle of it, because bad vibes are not allowed in here, but fuck it, I'm going to be the unavoidable pessimist, so you at least have someone to blame, if vibes are not good enough. :)
Thom your need is worthy and valuable so I made my contribution (small but with all my heart). We have you back!!!
I am glad you reach out for help because being what we are in a truthful and free way is not a choice, it is a need!
Thom, you are precious to the community. You deserve to be who you are. As Maya Anjelou said to me at a GALA Chorus Festival in the 90's - "You be who you be when you be who you be." I have clicked on the link.
All commentaries made it better than I could. I want only to add that your content mean so much to us, to me that we are happy to be your therapists today, if only for a day, and that we would be happy to give you back some of what you have given us. I just hope that whatever you put in place, not having the same currency will not be a problem to participate because I really want to 🥰 And last few words : as Sarah Nelson already said "thank you for telling..." us 😉
So glad you decided to start a GoFundMe! Support is on the way 🤗
You bring so much joy. You have brought so much joy to my world, a 60+ Africana woman. Happy to donate to your journey!
Thom, please don't feel bad about asking for help. Your videos have given me so much joy. I hope my small contribution to your GFM brings you a little in return 💛
No one here would think less of you for asking for this kind of support. I understand how important this can be for you. By asking, you aren’t forcing our hands. We can all decide if we can contribute and what amount.
Dont make yourself disappear (😉 thanks Mr Ajayi), your needs are important too
Totally agree with all the people who recommended setting up a GoFundMe and I'm glad you've decided to do that. Have you also considered setting up a Patreon? It's not going to get you the kind of money you need for top surgery, but you also mentioned that you've got a lot of debt and not a lot of salary and a Patreon could help a little with that.
Honestly I've been meaning to suggest this for a bit since you're one of only two TH-camrs I watch regularly and I'm subscribed to the Patreon for the other channel. You don't need to have a ton of additional content there, some just have occasional blog posts, polls, and maybe a Discord link.
I totally understand your reluctance to ask for help, because I would be exactly the same way in your position. It’s always tempting to put your own needs last while being generous in helping other people‘s needs. But your needs are as important as anyone’s, and I’m sure there are plenty of us who follow you who would be more than happy to help.
I, and all of the other commentors here, are clearly part of your supportive online family. It would be an honor to help you and to show you our gratitude for the wonderful world you've created here and shared with us. Families help each other. That's what we do! Let us help. ❤
Your hesitation to crowd fund didn’t surprise me. While I only ‘know’ you through your videos and IG posts, it’s obvious you are a decent and generous person who wouldn’t think twice about helping someone else if you could. You deserve to be happy Thom and if surgery will help you achieve that, let us on the other side of the screen do what we can
Sweet sweet Thom. I know where you’re coming from - it is so much easier to help others than to ask for help yourself. I don’t know how it became embarrasing to ask for help, but it is so wrong to judge people when they’re at their most vulnerable. Even if gender dysphoria technically doesn’t kill you - it kills your joy in life and leads to other problems. Please take care of yourself ❤
I can absolutely relate to the difficulties in asking for help, and judging yourself for things you would NEVER judge others for. However you proceed has to be your choice, and something you’re comfortable with. This is intensely personal, and I appreciate you for taking just this step of sharing your feelings.
But I want to echo what others have already written and encourage you to let us help. GFM is an option, and so is Patreon. I know I would give to both should they appear.
(I actually jumped to the description first before the video even started to see if you’d created one and shared the link.)
I only know you parasocially, but your content means a lot to me. Your content is special because of how much of yourself you bring to it, your warmth, your insight, your analysis, your humour, your vulnerability. You have given us so much of yourself, and I know I’m not alone in wanting to give back, as a thank you for all you’ve given us.
Gender euphoria is beautiful to witness. As sad as you must’ve been making this video, some joy still leaked through as you recalled how you felt discussing the potential results with your surgeon. I want that so much for you.
Yes to all of this ❤
@@SabineThinkerbellum + 2 . We love our Thom ❤
Just want to give you hug and say we're for you. Try and keep positive. Things will work out. Thanks.
Count me as someone who would happily throw money at you for this! You have provided me a ton of entertainment and happiness in the short time I’ve followed you. Even just post a Venmo or something if you don’t want to do a formal fundraiser.
Exactly! This channel has been a completely free source of entertainment, enlightenment and community and I've really enjoyed being a part of that. People would like to express their support for your work as well.
just want to say that there is always someone who is suffering more or needs more but life isn't a competition and you have to do your best to fulfill your needs. Also it's really bs that these are your only options. Fuck the US Healthcare system - someone who would happily contribute to a fundraiser. I feel like I owe you for hours of entertainment anyway :)
I donated before I saw this video, just watching some of your earlier content now. I’m glad your fundraising is going so well 💜 Your willingness to be so open and honest has been a huge help for myself and others - and you’ve lead me to jammidodger’s videos which have also been extremely helpful.
I really enjoy your entertaining content as well, incl. all things Heartstopper-related.
I hope you've seen the gofundme now. over $3000. We all love you and want you to be happy that's why we're helping you, no one is forcing anyone.
I love how on the GFM page there is a 'Show Top Donations' button :)
I agree with someone's recommendation for patreon! Also look into foundations that provide grants for gender affirming surgeries (one example is Point of Pride, but there should be others as well) - see if you're eligible and send in an application! You also have a lot of people who would be willing to contribute if they can (myself included), so do not feel weird asking for help :)
I'm not going to yell you what to do or how to feel, but remember, you've got friends on here....and even if a lot of them are just parasocial relationships, you can't have parasocial relationships without the social part.
Anyway, I'm bad at the feelings stuff, bit we care for you, we're here for you, and if you need stuff, dont be afraid to ask.
I have many things to say about this. You’ve said that you enjoy essays, so here it goes.
Hoping that you won’t just delete the video while I’m typing because then everything would be gone and that sucked.
You see, I do the same thing. I delete stuff when I feel that’s too personal or too boring or too embarrassing. Today I did that to a reply to your top surgery tweet.
Anyway …
I understand what you’re going through regarding asking for help. I couldn’t do that for myself either. But my fingers were literally itching to write something to you the minute you tweeted about your consult and the money that is needed. Then I thought: it’s a delicate topic. Top surgery combined with the money issue is so super personal that I can’t just write something, suggest something, ask something. I thought, ok let me wait until Thom mentions it again. So here we are.
I’ll post this first part now and keep writing on a second part instantly. So hold on.
A couple of weeks ago you posted a picture on instagram that made my heart weep. It seemed to be a super hot day and you sat at a lake (?) and wrote: next year I will hopefully enjoy summer without a binder.
Just imagining sitting in the sun with a binder makes me feel for you.
GoFundMe is an option. But there are other options too. Probably even a combination of options. I thought of subscribing to you on twitch but a) twitch takes away half and b) it’s not enough.
Have you considered opening a patreon account? People would be able to support you and would get something back. Your content is so enjoyable that I’d gladly choose a perk and become a supporter.
Your videos have become the highlight of my video subscription list here on youtube. I feel understood while watching you talk.
Please don’t hesitate asking for help. I’d go so far to say that you’ve created a pretty awesome community here. I can’t talk for other people but I’d gladly help.
(part 3 is coming up. Stay tuned)
At least give people the option to help you. If they do it or not is everybody’s choice but please give an option!!
When you tweeted the amount that is needed I thought: is that all or are there going to be follow ups in the recovery phase? Will you be able to work or do you need to drop out for a few weeks?
It’s 3 am here and I guess I need to go back to sleep now. Hopefully the video will still be up later. I might have more to say.
I was right with Adam Sass. I just started reading and you’ve already finished it 😂
You might not have a clue of what sort of a community you’ve created here. I’ve said it before on one of your other videos. It’s the friendliest bunch of people I’ve met here on youtube. What you don’t know is that I was so happy to find out that there’s another German and we started talking in private. I plan to go to Berlin next spring and start an art project (about Druck, don’t ask 🙈) and hopefully we can meet up.
I was reading the other comments and yeah, your community here is like I thought we were. Pretty awesome ❤ And like someone said: Do it for us.
Again: please consider setting up something ❤
Thom…just discovering your channel via your Heartstopper content. First of all, please keep that up!! Second, I’m proud of you (i hope that doesn’t sound condescending) for asking for help. You are worth it, and frankly, these types of surgeries should be easily covered by all insurance. I donated via your GFM page, and I wish you the best of luck. I’ll be watching your videos for updates when you feel up to sharing.
❤❤❤
❤️😘❤️
I'm sure lots of your followers would contribute to your costs. Please give us the option anyway. I give contributions to different sorts of causes and there isn't an absolute hierarchy. I have a family member who is trans, and and I can't imagine life without him. It's just wrong to make it so difficult for people to get the care they need,
EDITED because I think my original comment was kind of ciscentric if that's a word.
First thanks for your channel, I’ve really enjoyed your content. I agree with others that suggested that you should start a Patreon so people that would to support your channel can and start a go fund me so those that want to support you can or not their choice. I would appreciate it if you could do that for us… ❤
… do it for us …
I think you should consider a go fund me. I also think you could do something through your channel. But you should let everyone help you. ❤🌞💙
I‘m so angry now. It really sucks to live in the US. You should have come to Germany before.❤
I am so grateful this amazing community was here last night to convince you to not delete the video and that we do want to help. I should be careful with what I write, in the video you are making all the right realizations, while maybe seeming not quite ready to accept them, and we have to give you the space to do so in your own time. But thank you so much for taking this first step and sharing with us, it means so much and was such a relief after a day of frantic wondering how we would be able to help. ❤
I know we are not like a big army or anything*... yet! But if you would let us help at least a little, so that the loan/credit/grant etc. could be smaller, for example, it would mean a lot to us to at least be allowed to try.
If you want to be left alone and curl up with more books, I would recommend Amanda Palmer's "The Art of Asking: How I learned to stop worrying and let people help". It is old and I'm sure there are many more current and more modern books on the subject, but I love her a lot, so it'll have to do for this comment. :D
So, I gather from the other comments, that Gofundme is still a good place to raise larger one-time sums. But on a sidenote I also see I'm not the only one who would like to support you on patreon if you would ever consider that as a more long-term option. I would love to cancel my twitch subscription in favor of a patreon subscription, so just think about how much you would be helping me out here. :D
*I think you started saying something along these lines in your video and then stopped yourself in the middle of it, because bad vibes are not allowed in here, but fuck it, I'm going to be the unavoidable pessimist, so you at least have someone to blame, if vibes are not good enough. :)