Legal Immigration: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ก.ย. 2019
  • John Oliver explains how our legal immigration system works, and how it often doesn’t.
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ความคิดเห็น • 14K

  • @Marconius6
    @Marconius6 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6677

    If you're a rich Norwegian, why would you even WANT to live in America?

    • @MrGlenp24015
      @MrGlenp24015 4 ปีที่แล้ว +194

      @Marconius to escape 70% tax rates?

    • @Marconius6
      @Marconius6 4 ปีที่แล้ว +778

      @@MrGlenp24015 Which form of tax would that be? Income tax is 38%, down from 40% a few years ago.

    • @phantomspaceman
      @phantomspaceman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Considering what happened in 2011 I doubt Norwegians think they're immune to shootings.

    • @queenofthewhores
      @queenofthewhores 4 ปีที่แล้ว +895

      @@phantomspaceman 1 mass shooting that u can point out 8 yrs ago...there was probably on in the U.S. 8 min ago

    • @applesandoranges1624
      @applesandoranges1624 4 ปีที่แล้ว +310

      As a Finn, I'm wondering why I came here at all. Of course, Trump wasn't POTUS back then.

  • @BeeFreeland
    @BeeFreeland 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1134

    I remember in middle school we had a library aide who broke down in tears because she finally received her green card after SEVENTEEN YEARS. Our immigration system is a complete and utter joke.

    • @isabelled.4799
      @isabelled.4799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      It's less than that. It's a damn travesty, is what it is

    • @tealmacfarlane
      @tealmacfarlane 4 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      I know an Army veteran who is constantly worried his wife will be deported because she still doesn't have a green card. They got married in 2003. They have kids.

    • @isabelled.4799
      @isabelled.4799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@tealmacfarlane Wish them well from me, if you can

    • @fangal12
      @fangal12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@tealmacfarlane God be with her, I couldn't imagine living in constant fear that any day the gestapo (ICE) will be dragging me away kicking and screaming in front of my children

    • @AlexZ-lc6nl
      @AlexZ-lc6nl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Yes, being born in the US is a gift many Americans take for granted. So many people come here wanting to make America better and have a better life. Most immigrants work harder, pay taxes and follow the rules (and don’t even get tax returns because they are illegal). afraid for the SS system isn’t done by illegals lol, it’s usually done by white US born Americans.

  • @Rockhoppr3
    @Rockhoppr3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2403

    GOP: "We want more *legal* immigration!"
    America: "So are you guys working on streamlining the process for legal immigrants?"
    GOP: "Oh hell no, we're making it harder for legal immigrants."

    • @mafiaps31
      @mafiaps31 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      If anyone tries to argue that we should make it harder at really wouldn't make any sense because you're getting more of what you don't want I wonder why people don't b**** about why isn't immigration system fixed

    • @AnIridescentWolf
      @AnIridescentWolf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      Honestly, a GOP talking point is how illegal immigrants don’t pay taxes. But you’d think they’d like making the system easier to become a citizen,, you know, so they can pay taxes. Also, native born citizens cost a country much more than immigrants. Shaun the TH-camr made a good example: Imagine two people: an American, and someone born in another country, who eventually immigrates to the US and gets a job in the exact same position as the first person. They pay the same taxes, live in similar circumstances, and die. Who is more beneficial and who is more of an economic drain? The immigrant didn’t get his education and childhood from American funding, they got it from their birthplace. So technically, an American born in the US is more of an economic burden than the immigrant in this instance.

    • @marcosspinola2773
      @marcosspinola2773 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      I'm currently waiting for my green card. Came to the US under an "L" Visa. It means you were transferred by your company. In my case, my wife was transferred. My visa allows me to work in the US without the need of sponsorship whatsoever. However, I still need a document called EAD - Employment Authorization Document. You have to apply for an EAD and, depending on your visa type, you have a different set of documents and rules.
      It took me about 4 months to get my first EAD. And another year and a half to find a job in my area of expertise - IT. Before that, I walked dogs, did Uber, worked as a photographer...
      The problem is, when the USCIS grants you an EAD, it does have an expiration date. Mine was 2 years from the issuance date. I applied for a new EAD in september 2019. By December, I had to quit my job, because the new EAD weren't issued before the expiration date of my previous EAD. Sooo.... I lost, because I had to quit my job; the government lost, because they weren't collecting my taxes anymore; The company I was working for lost, because they had to go through the hiring process from scratch once again, train a new employee once again.
      I understand the US has a lot of different issues to address when it comes to immigration. I know it's a challenge to accommodate all of the people who want to live in this country... but there's no other way to put it: Current immigration laws in America are as dumb as America's current president.

    • @KaladinVegapunk
      @KaladinVegapunk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It's the party of paradoxes, logical fallacy as policy and xenophobic jingoism
      You know what's really ironic? Not only is their rhetoric copy pasted from every shit power monger all the way back to Rome..
      The major crisis that precipitated the fall of Rome was mishandling immigration (alongside corrupt rich dicks dictating policy and pocketing money, as well as shitty emperors)
      For near 1000 years they would make them Roman citizens, bring them into the fold, contribute to the empire and not be seen as outsiders
      Then attilla the hun chased a shit ton of Goths into Roman lands, and they made a deal to become Romans
      But Rome had a lot of xenophobes, ethnocentric dicks and alienated the Goths, demonized them, gave them zero aid to the point they had to eat dog and horse meat bought from soldiers..so it all crumbled, they got super pissed and instead of becoming massively significant allies, contributing to the empire, it all crumbled apart
      These cunts don't know shit about history, and they know the cult of personality around them and the followers are just ignorant as fuck too, they don't see the patterns or historical context

    • @kawaiidoggo
      @kawaiidoggo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@AnIridescentWolf actually the GOP talking point about how illegal immigrants don't pay taxes is wrong. They do pay income taxes, sales taxes, property taxes, etc. In fact, 12 million illegal immigrants contribute $11 billion in tax revenue annually. This is at the same time illegal immigrants can't use single welfare programs and Medicaid. Only service they can use is emergency Healthcare service.

  • @TheMan00007
    @TheMan00007 3 ปีที่แล้ว +920

    "These countries give us their worst people".
    Did he just refer to degree holders with professional licenses and years of experience who lived on low salaries while supporting their families as "the worst people"?

    • @hikaru1675
      @hikaru1675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      He also referred to young people who came from a First World country, who have no criminal records, who have ideas & ambition, who have high English skills & who just got their highschool/Bachlor's degree as "the worst people".
      Trump only supports rich people immigrating. Bad for the US, tho :x

    • @kamatariedgar3603
      @kamatariedgar3603 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      And his wife.

    • @eboo925
      @eboo925 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He's talking about all of those illegals in California ,Texas,Florida,Massachusetts,Connecticut,Arizona everywhere low-skilled workers that don't speak English out number you by a very very large margin that's what Trump talking about.
      Trump2020🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

    • @yupadej4361
      @yupadej4361 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He talked about the lottery system

    • @Dark_Ben007
      @Dark_Ben007 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@eboo925 Believe me, those illegal immigrants do low paid jobs to survive and improve their lives. Without them, the cost of products and services would be much higher. And I am pretty sure you are a bot created by Kremlin. Say hi to Putin and Prigozhin.

  • @bersekovitch
    @bersekovitch 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6022

    "Our country is full !" Local native american, circa 1587.

    • @Alexa-Raine
      @Alexa-Raine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Go learn history, sheep..

    • @Lalo3g1
      @Lalo3g1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +463

      @@Alexa-Raine Go learn manners, pig. Why don't you just correct him on what you think he got wrong

    • @valley5285
      @valley5285 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      @@Alexa-Raine no

    • @lvigilful
      @lvigilful 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      🙄

    • @Alexa-Raine
      @Alexa-Raine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@beyourselfth Also wrong. Go learn history..

  • @billbill6094
    @billbill6094 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4844

    "I have no problems with immigrants as long as they come here legally."
    Immigrant: *comes here legally*
    "Wait no not like that."

    • @varana
      @varana 4 ปีที่แล้ว +551

      Immigrant: *isn't white*
      "Wait no not like that."

    • @npc6817
      @npc6817 4 ปีที่แล้ว +243

      Immigrant: applies for visa
      No, that's not how you play the game!

    • @Neeroking
      @Neeroking 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Sadly, this is extremely accurate

    • @apedin
      @apedin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      It's not that we hate immigrants. We need a land for ourselves - what's wrong with wanting the country to house predominantly our people?

    • @moviemattluman1675
      @moviemattluman1675 4 ปีที่แล้ว +259

      Builder Who’s “our” people? All the immigrants or their grandkids, which would be us ? 🤔

  • @danevd9463
    @danevd9463 2 ปีที่แล้ว +403

    As a Maltese person I can confirm that our country was shipped in a box to New York and was showed on John Oliver's show.

    • @Shadowdoc26
      @Shadowdoc26 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Did he offer you a hotel accommodation while they borrowed it?

    • @maryalicefike4704
      @maryalicefike4704 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      was it a bumpy ride? did john say hi?!

    • @liamhall1744
      @liamhall1744 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It must’ve been very frightening and exciting! You guys are on TV!!

    • @spiketheguy7091
      @spiketheguy7091 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I hope the shipping travels didn't shake up your place too much

  • @Jesse-cy7ws
    @Jesse-cy7ws 4 ปีที่แล้ว +684

    Tried for 20 years to enter legally. Started with an H1B1 visa. After 10 years and $10,000 in legal fees, got a green card. After another 10 years of lawyers, applications, dead ends, start overs, and more dead ends just gave up and moved back to Canada. Degrees up the ying yang. Wife and I both worked in hospice helping precious veterans die.

    • @spidermonkey8430
      @spidermonkey8430 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Looks like it’s tough for u whites too

    • @samuelthornton9179
      @samuelthornton9179 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      @@spidermonkey8430 it's hard for everyone.

    • @thekub32
      @thekub32 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      That's crazy. I never realized it was this hard for Canadians too. We're neighbors!

    • @dominiclarratt9968
      @dominiclarratt9968 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Why would you want to leave Canada?

    • @wiggl3s_821
      @wiggl3s_821 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Isn’t canada like the second best rated country in the world after Switzerland or something? Stay there my guy...

  • @flemes9615
    @flemes9615 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4774

    Hey maltese guy here... Can you put malta back pls we're scared we are gonna get shot here

    • @benalves1386
      @benalves1386 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      lol

    • @wsharp23
      @wsharp23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      As long as you're not suicidal you'll be okay

    • @AbradolfLincler
      @AbradolfLincler 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Always wondered.. do Maltesers come from there?

    • @allthingsunimportant
      @allthingsunimportant 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      valid concern.

    • @__Stitchy
      @__Stitchy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      Don't ask Americans to put you back, they'll just blob you down somewhere near New Zealand, just have them give you to Canada or Mexico, they know where you were.

  • @svhmj3918
    @svhmj3918 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3130

    I thought John cam in to the US on a P-7 visa. The protection of endangered species (talking owls).

    • @davidhollenshead4892
      @davidhollenshead4892 4 ปีที่แล้ว +124

      Nope, Mr. Oliver is a Toucan...

    • @bryanmontes1374
      @bryanmontes1374 4 ปีที่แล้ว +116

      Have some respect for Mr. Oliver! He is obviously a Hornbill (Zazu)

    • @donotlike4anonymus594
      @donotlike4anonymus594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      hell no idiots don't go extinct....
      idiotcracy is coming....

    • @JustusWilcox
      @JustusWilcox 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      How many licks does it take...

    • @mchoffner8497
      @mchoffner8497 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The owl is wise.

  • @liampedersen
    @liampedersen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +585

    I came to the US on a scholarship, and attended one of the best grad school in the world. The US has done a lot for me, and in turn I have given back my best (and awarded the public service medal by the US govt). I am profoundly grateful to this country. Yet immigrating here took me almost 20 years despite support from elite institutions and a member of Congress. The legal path to citizenship is tortuous and capricious. We can and should do better.

    • @standowner6979
      @standowner6979 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      May I ask, which area of knowledge did you do research?

    • @sqrcorp
      @sqrcorp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Now, if it was difficult for you, imagine how much harder it is for a person of color.

    • @liampedersen
      @liampedersen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@standowner6979 Sure thing Stan. I studied robotics and spent a decade at the space agency.

    • @liampedersen
      @liampedersen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      ​@@sqrcorp My point was that it is hard even with the help of powerful entities. I don't know how those less fortunate manage it.

    • @kingace6186
      @kingace6186 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for your (public) service.

  • @FlowerThePot
    @FlowerThePot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +115

    My mom came to the US from the Philippines during the nursing shortage. When she finally got her citizenship...it was better than a dream come true!! Most US citizens don't understand how scary and difficult the process is.

  • @mickymcbryan4814
    @mickymcbryan4814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2877

    "Our country's full."
    Did he really say that at a Jewish coalitian meeting after America said the same thing to Jewish people fleeing Nazis who were then subsequently killed in death camps??
    What am I saying; of course he did!

    • @Maphisto86
      @Maphisto86 4 ปีที่แล้ว +164

      Holy crap. You just made me notice that he was speaking in front of a Jewish organization. Good point!

    • @emiledwards620
      @emiledwards620 4 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      @@DigitalDaydreams no. His grandfather died in 1918. Long before all the events that led to the Nazi party's rise to power.

    • @salenebrom6476
      @salenebrom6476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      mickymc bryan bruh🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

    • @jeannie1renee2
      @jeannie1renee2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@DigitalDaydreams, his family was from Scotland. Not too many Nazis in Scotland.

    • @xxdarkslayerlord1922
      @xxdarkslayerlord1922 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Digital Daydreams did you just try to link Trump with the Nazis

  • @thereilway
    @thereilway 4 ปีที่แล้ว +958

    I can assure you that we Norwegians are quite happy where we are, you know, with our free health care and education, and paid maternity leave, and semi-functioning welfare. Imma stay right here thanks

    • @joetrunk7234
      @joetrunk7234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      please do

    • @nuclearbiologist
      @nuclearbiologist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      Remember not to engage with trump supporters as it gives them a platform. they want you to argue with them.

    • @Supernoxus
      @Supernoxus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@nuclearbiologist Isn't cutting off communication with political opponents a bad thing to do? You know, since it makes you live in a little bubble filled with like-minded people and never have your own beliefs challenged?
      Engage with Trump supporters does not just give them a platform, but you as well. If you give people some credit, then they surely will side with the person who brings forth the better arguments, right?

    • @rottenmangoes
      @rottenmangoes 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@joetrunk7234 where do you live? Trunk?

    • @wolfwoodphreak
      @wolfwoodphreak 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @j G they still have it so im sure they dont care how so your retort is moot

  • @Lucien_Noland
    @Lucien_Noland 3 ปีที่แล้ว +310

    Telling and immigrant to just “get in line” is like telling someone with asthma to just breathe.

    • @4philipp
      @4philipp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not really, you must breath but you must not be an immigrant. One is a choice

    • @StrazdasLT
      @StrazdasLT 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Utter nonsense. If you are a normal human being you will have no problem getting in line. If you are a lawbreaking asshole - no country should want you.

    • @StrazdasLT
      @StrazdasLT 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Marita287 I watched the video and it showed that the system is as usually - broken. Instead of selecting people based on their skills and beliefs you are having stuff like green card lottery and emotional appeals to statue of liberty (which by the way was written when there was 5 times less immigration). Im not sure what trump has to do with it, but i would prefer if that con artist was in jail. Does not mean i like the Putin ass licker in chief we got right now.

    • @Marita287
      @Marita287 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@j_k7769 I don't even know who Don Lemon is.

    • @Maknassar
      @Maknassar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@4philipp USians dont seem to understand the concept that every person can becone a refugee once in their lifes. More unlikely in North america and western europe than in other parts of the world. But the chance is never zero

  • @realbot
    @realbot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +355

    Why would i leave Europe to go in a third world country?

    • @CutieZalbu
      @CutieZalbu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Bot sponsor me? I wanna leave here.

    • @ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45
      @ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Because uhhh
      You have freedom to have gun in Merica
      and uhh
      stuff

    • @chross0911
      @chross0911 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Maybe for their schools that can teach you proper grammar.

    • @ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45
      @ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@chross0911 Shut the fuck up. No one cares.

    • @realbot
      @realbot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@chross0911 no thanks, i like my two first languages more.

  • @stirlingstewart
    @stirlingstewart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3886

    "Our country is full, we cant accommodate more people"
    "NO ABORTION!"

    • @kempkennedy5068
      @kempkennedy5068 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Wait, are you implying by that post that aborted fetuses are 'humans'? And that equating not letting someone into a country is comparable to murder? I'm sure you are not, but your words in that post betray you.

    • @mytj1803
      @mytj1803 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      I can't speak for Stirling Stewart, but my interpretation would be that he was comparing fetuses to non-Citizen. Although it's possible there was an afterthough about "increasing population", I beleive it could be a good metaphor for the "yearning to be free"... fetuses could become human (or not, there are natural miscarriages) … and non-Citizen could become great Citizen (or at least working for low wages). Life is not always fair (outside forces can mess it up), but at least it gives some opportunities once in a while.

    • @JohnDoe-sw1sm
      @JohnDoe-sw1sm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +218

      @@kempkennedy5068 not really that hard to understand. The reason why right wingers say they are against immigration is because the country is full and we can't accommodate them but that reasoning falls apart in that they want to criminalize abortion and exploded the population with a bunch babies that we have to accommodate because they can't work like a immigrant worker can.

    • @stirlingstewart
      @stirlingstewart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +132

      @@kempkennedy5068 John got my meaning bang on. Right-wingers insist that the country is full and we should accept no immigration, but that mentality is not commensurate with the comorbid right-wing belief that there should be no abortions because if the country was truly in a population crisis, as they suggest, it would be even more justified to insist upon abortions than it would be to reject immigration because babies are an 18 year investment before they can give back to the economy in any meaningful sense of the term whereas a migrant can begin contributing to the economy even before they become a citizen.

    • @mytj1803
      @mytj1803 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @brajamtho757 : Define human…
      A Landmark case over here (Tremblay v. Daigle, [1989] 2 SCR 530) focused on the viability of the "to be born child"... so I'll focus on that and that alone to try to show how it's not a simple black or white issue… and it should not be limited to a Yes\No question.
      Medicaly speaking, before 28 weeks, if the child is born, it is in the severely premature category, but it can technicaly be viable. There are records of at least a child born 21 Week and ketpt alive, however, it is rarely the case before 22 Week. In addition, there are usualy (85% of the time according to a september 2004 study published on the American Academy of Pediatric's website) some serious side effects from the techniques, or neonatal care, used to keep them alive while they finish their developpement (such as occular muscle developpement). I won't comment on "should we impose those side effects on a person?", because that's not a question for me to answer (I've been born about 3 weeks early, or about 35 Week of gestation, so in the fully formed category).
      As the science progress, the threshold for viability shortens… however, it does not exclude any of the social issues underlying your comment and/or percieved position.
      I won't address any of the social issues underlying your comment and/or percieved position.

  • @swampThaang
    @swampThaang 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3879

    He forgot one pathway: being rich. If you invest $1 million in an American business you also get a visa.

    • @robobrain10000
      @robobrain10000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Not many people in that category though.

    • @anonymoususer2086
      @anonymoususer2086 4 ปีที่แล้ว +217

      @@robobrain10000 Not many people in any category, is I think the point of this entire episode.
      Of note is a distinct lack of category for people who are already here illegally, and who have been for many years.

    • @dark3rthanshadows
      @dark3rthanshadows 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      RICH norwegians, sumerises that. Millionares form any place have free pass and if u are a big star( which John Olivar wasn't when he was trying to get here) u can also come really quick . Or just transform into a sexy eastern european , fly to US with a "vocation" visa and see if u can manage to get someone to sponsor u in the 3 months u are allowed to be there

    • @commonpeace5595
      @commonpeace5595 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Which is a totally valid way to get in....

    • @rakeshpillai2173
      @rakeshpillai2173 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I think it is $5 million now..

  • @glennattard7209
    @glennattard7209 4 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    As a maltese citizen i can confirm that the map shown of malta is actually to scale

    • @Onigirli
      @Onigirli 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I knew micro people existed!

    • @wta1518
      @wta1518 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Onigirli They're normal sized people, they just have to carefully balance on top of Malta.

    • @msspelled
      @msspelled 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@wta1518 yup, we also have an obesity issue, so its a really tough job to stay on top 😂

    • @SCIWORLD2
      @SCIWORLD2 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's nice that Malta is accepting the overflow immigrants. Take Me! I love Malta

  • @theamazingheidi6822
    @theamazingheidi6822 4 ปีที่แล้ว +554

    Wyoming: *EXISTS*
    Trump: "OuR CoUntrY iS fULL"

    • @elgordo2162
      @elgordo2162 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Wyoming is not real

    • @DeeJayFM
      @DeeJayFM 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@elgordo2162 it's an illusion

    • @jamesscannell7951
      @jamesscannell7951 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The Amazing Heidi Wyoming: Am I joke to you

    • @DeeJayFM
      @DeeJayFM 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@jamesscannell7951 yes

    • @mirillis6083
      @mirillis6083 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bitch Wyoming is a void of darkness our country is always open let's throw em' in

  • @giovanni89ification
    @giovanni89ification 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2500

    "They kill my mom, my brother"
    Trump : "Where are they now?"
    We have low expectations of you but, HOLY F*CK!!!

    • @zimzimph
      @zimzimph 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      tbf, she did not pronounce the word well. I knew what I was listening for, so I heard it

    • @floydthebarber71
      @floydthebarber71 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Trump is an asshole of the highest order but I hate seeing this as an example. Her accent was pretty thick, not easy to understand

    • @TimedRevolver
      @TimedRevolver 4 ปีที่แล้ว +331

      The whole point was her family is dead. He couldn't give enough of a fuck to even know WHY she was there.
      Don't fucking try to defend this piece of human-shaped garbage.
      Trump doesn't give a damn if this entire country burns to the ground. As long as he has his money and golf, he'd kill us all himself.

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 4 ปีที่แล้ว +179

      Sander de Veth - that was the second time she had explained it to him. He’s just an Ass.

    • @DieMenja
      @DieMenja 4 ปีที่แล้ว +194

      @@floydthebarber71 I understood it and I have English as my second language. He just didn't listen as his name was not involved.

  • @Ometecuhtli
    @Ometecuhtli 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1668

    - You killed my father, prepare to die.
    - Oh, yeah... so where's your father now?

    • @a_fine_edition2746
      @a_fine_edition2746 4 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      Anyone: dies
      Trump: wHeRe ArE tHeY nOw?

    • @micmccond7
      @micmccond7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      All I can say is...yikes and oof

    • @komemiute
      @komemiute 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Most underrated comment- ever.

    • @suflex91
      @suflex91 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Honestly, if you listen very carefully then you figure that the word "killed" sounds like "kept" because of her accent.

    • @memegazer
      @memegazer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lol
      this reminds me of a movie

  • @helios24601
    @helios24601 4 ปีที่แล้ว +412

    "In one of Trumps more reflective moments..." shows Trump staring longingly at Ivanka.
    PURE GENIUS.

    • @rock-n-rollfoodie
      @rock-n-rollfoodie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Seokjun An ... Trump is disgusting

    • @oldrrocr
      @oldrrocr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sadists don't give a shit about you; extreme sadist like trumpski get off on your pain.

    • @4philipp
      @4philipp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Give Trump a break, can’t an old man just look at his daughter and get a boner without being crucified?

    • @harrybarodawala3588
      @harrybarodawala3588 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      time stamp please?

    • @tobbs5003
      @tobbs5003 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Democrats are also right leaning. Try harder loser.

  • @donna_piranha
    @donna_piranha ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Most of our ancestors who "came here legally" actually didn't go through any screening process beyond "survive a journey of several weeks across the Atlantic in an overcrowded boat," so we can get off the high horse now.

  • @ButterflySoju
    @ButterflySoju 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2492

    He forgot to talk about how Melania worked illegally on her tourist visa and then got an "Einstein" visa and had an anchor baby.

    • @mattb6528
      @mattb6528 4 ปีที่แล้ว +248

      *married an anchor baby.

    • @isabelled.4799
      @isabelled.4799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      @@mattb6528 He certainly looks like he weighs about the same as one lol

    • @jeromeevans8501
      @jeromeevans8501 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He's talked about it in a previous episode

    • @sethbritton6970
      @sethbritton6970 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @e fred Poor thing; backing a hypocrite, tries to 'deflect'.

    • @mashamitchell9574
      @mashamitchell9574 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      And used chain migration to bring her parents to the USA.

  • @GhostManCrisis
    @GhostManCrisis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +892

    Dear John Oliver, Thank you for coming to our country.

    • @brettquiggle2859
      @brettquiggle2859 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@challanj get bent, you butthurt boomer.

    • @alvarohernandez4557
      @alvarohernandez4557 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@challanj as if you capitalizing now is gonna make him leave any sooner

    • @Hekilikaua
      @Hekilikaua 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Brenton Lewis Sorry, we don't understand the congealed ramblings of the town idiot. Please do calm down and try again.

    • @whoRwe02
      @whoRwe02 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Any known country got a government system and laws. All have created and recognized laws for implementation. Break their laws then it is your own risks. You must adapt to their environment.. else hire lawyers to defend your own created problems once caught as lawbreaker. It is always a burden to anyone who are ignorant of the laws , who disregard the laws and who neglects the laws. Genius and practical? Never make a comedian or a commentator a reference.

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Brenton Lewis You are aware that there are levels between 'Build a Wall and let no one in' and 'no borders at all'?

  • @vinny9868
    @vinny9868 4 ปีที่แล้ว +355

    When people say they want legal immigration, what they're really saying is that they want white European and Canadian immigration.
    Immigrants with more money and education who really don't need to come to the States and would live comfortably in their country.
    It's no secret that the U.S. prioritise these people to get in first, and thus having everyone else having to wait those ridiculously long "lines".

    • @selfishcapitalist3523
      @selfishcapitalist3523 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      They pay a lot of taxes. We want taxpayers. We don't want welfare queens.

    • @jak8714
      @jak8714 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Selfish Capitalist yes, but the ‘welfare queens’ need the help more! What’s the point of living in the best country in the world if we cannot share the wealth!

    • @arturotrejo6814
      @arturotrejo6814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Selfish Capitalist my parents are ILLEGAL and both have been paying taxes for over 20 years my dad has already paid enough to earn SS retirement and received letter from gov but unfortunately he still can not receive a green card until the imaginary LINE moves along which he has been on for over 20 years as well let’s just say we got tired of waiting on people who don’t care about us

    • @selfishcapitalist3523
      @selfishcapitalist3523 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jak8714 If everyone gets to take out of the system, nobody wants to pay into the system. Other people don't want to pay for your lifestyle.

    • @selfishcapitalist3523
      @selfishcapitalist3523 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@arturotrejo6814 Sad to know, but the law is the law. America is a country of law and order. You want to come in, you gotta come in legally.

  • @jneff88
    @jneff88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    My wife is a Business professor from India with a PhD from UW. She had an H1B visa and would have had to wait for years for her Green Card if she didn't marry me. When she got her Green Card this February her happiness was dampened severely knowing her sister and many of her friends might have to wait decades to receive theirs. I consider myself extremely informed but I had no idea how terribly unfair the immigration system was until I started dating her.

  • @rufusjustrufus8213
    @rufusjustrufus8213 4 ปีที่แล้ว +692

    "They killed my mom, my six brothers..."
    "Where are they now?"
    Remember over a year ago when John said, "Trump doesn't understand a single thing," and everyone (probably including him) thought he was exaggerating?
    Those were good times.

    • @jsphmyr2949
      @jsphmyr2949 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You should watch the whole clip. Not calling you out at all....I assume that you haven’t by your statements. But context is key my friend. And both sides only push agendas unfortunately

    • @stevencleere4912
      @stevencleere4912 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Imagine how it must feel to tell the President of The United States your heartbreaking story, and know that he's obviously not listening to a goddamn word you are saying, and not be able to tell him to fuck himself.

    • @franxx941
      @franxx941 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jsphmyr2949 And the fk are you talking about?

    • @hanaomer4419
      @hanaomer4419 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Jsphmyr I genuinely want to hear what you think context will change. Like what do you make of that moment?

    • @crispincain5373
      @crispincain5373 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@jsphmyr2949 That's right, Trump wanted to know which cemetery they were buried in so he could go pay his respects, NOT!

  • @meghandenny6922
    @meghandenny6922 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1530

    I love how progressively angry these have been recently. Feels good to see people still care.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      The world is going to shit, and we have John Oliver to tell us all about that.

    • @juanhectorgarcia6
      @juanhectorgarcia6 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Aww fuck you but fuck you

    • @tps64
      @tps64 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      i always said i liked to fall in the middle, but lately ive definitely been more conservative, only because the left has gone insane with what they want. the debates are literally just about who can give away the most. the right is about shat they want to limit and keep to themselves. we absolutely need to get away from tbe strict 2 party system (i know the response is gonna be vote independent, but thats not realistic the way it is right now). i really wish the 2 sides could come together and take care of everyone the way they need/should be taken care of. i have no political science training or even follow it that much, but that would be great to see the country I love come together in ways you only see after ttagedies.

    • @petercarioscia9189
      @petercarioscia9189 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know right? I can't wait until 2020 when all the progressives blow a gasket again.

    • @petercarioscia9189
      @petercarioscia9189 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @raserianfald no, it's as honest as it gets. Andrew yang being the distillation of all the lefts bullshit; 'i'm offering you a Free-dumb dividend!" The left offers you 'stuff" without any solutions, or any tangible policies on who they'll deliver.

  • @mushnoodle
    @mushnoodle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +195

    Trump: "its easy to come legally into the USA just use this door" *points to a door painted onto a wall*

  • @RandolfLycan
    @RandolfLycan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    "I'm glad that story worked out well for India".
    Has that ever been said by a British person before? Lmao

    • @VinyZikss
      @VinyZikss 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      who cares

    • @animeneweablet
      @animeneweablet 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@VinyZikss I do, because I quite get it. Don't say you didn't ask.

  • @izaskumanchustegui5892
    @izaskumanchustegui5892 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1262

    They claim they want legal immigration, but let me tell you... a close friend of mine got her visa to study in LA, graduated from school here, then she got her working visa... Enter Trump... she went to renew her working visa after living here for 7 years... guess what? she got the renovation of her working visa declined and she was sent back to Mexico. She had no criminal record, she's about to lose her job because her company can't wait for her any longer, and she spent 200 dollars on that process. Yeah, I can see you truly want legal immigration when you're making it impossible.

    • @dan_hitchman007
      @dan_hitchman007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +161

      Under Trump, her problem was that she was from Mexico. The unspoken part of Trump's new rules of the immigration road is that we only want Rich White People... especially Hot Norwegians.

    • @jimc8428
      @jimc8428 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Why was it declined? Whenever they kick something back in the immigration process they give you a reason. What was the stated reason?

    • @izaskumanchustegui5892
      @izaskumanchustegui5892 4 ปีที่แล้ว +147

      @@jimc8428 that her job wasn't that essential. Literally. That she should have no problem finding the same job somewhere else. This is not a joke. She's a practical effects make up artist. She has worked with Marvel/Disney and not even that saved her job.

    • @dan_hitchman007
      @dan_hitchman007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      @brajamtho757 Misinformed silly person.

    • @MichaelSeven7777
      @MichaelSeven7777 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dan_hitchman007 Hello Dan, that would be wrong if that is the case but there is no evidence that there is discrimination based on race. We have a company and because Trump got in it has made getting people from the phillipines more difficult but from what I have been told this is simply because Trump is trying to change the process and whenever you change something, expecially if it is the governement, it takes time to get things moving well again... that is what I was told and it makes sense.

  • @FreemanicParacusia
    @FreemanicParacusia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +440

    For five years I've known a Syrian woman living in Turkey who had begun studying for her medical degree there before the civil war began back home and who hasn't been back since. We met by chance through Facebook after I got involved with a charity set up in my hometown for people displaced by ISIS.
    This woman speaks four languages and spent years studying for the US Medical License Exam. She was approved for an internship at a medical school in my city, UNMC, one of the best in the country (I took a day off work to deliver her CV and was CC'd in on the email correspondence between them). She worked in the emergency room in the wake of the October 2015 terrorist bombing of a peace rally in Ankara, and two car bombings the following March. I flew over there to visit in person in the wake of her graduation after two years of correspondence and got to spend a week with her and several members of her family who were able to attend (they live right on the border). She would be a credit to any nation willing to take her in.
    Trump's travel ban (red meat tossed to a voting base that's scared of brown people, doesn't know shit about the immigration system and can't be bothered to learn -- I know this because I'm surrounded by them) shot down her dream, and I got to tell her when it happened. All those years of hard work and preparation on her part down the drain because she was born in the southern half of a city bisected by the Syrian/Turkish border.
    I wouldn't piss on the man if he were burning to death right in front of me.

    • @christiandauz3742
      @christiandauz3742 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      She should go to Scandinavia, Western Europe or Uruguay
      Maybe Lebanon, South Korea or Israel

    • @21972012145525
      @21972012145525 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      If she’s single i hope you propose to her and marry her. You sound like you understand her and her sacrifices and appreciate her gifts

    • @tanishqsagar3440
      @tanishqsagar3440 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      @@21972012145525 This is about immigration, what the fuck are you talking about

    • @abbassalman8855
      @abbassalman8855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      tanishq sagar he is a sweet guy chill

    • @abbassalman8855
      @abbassalman8855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      s21972012145525 yes

  • @spookyactionatadistance6108
    @spookyactionatadistance6108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I nearly burst into tears at the thought of Sir Oliver *not* making it.

  • @alixnevermind9507
    @alixnevermind9507 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I measure how new these segments are by how gray John’s hair is

  • @Avofan
    @Avofan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +783

    "They killed my family."
    Trump, "Where are they now?"
    Some Stable Genius.

    • @bigdawg3683
      @bigdawg3683 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Not even as bright as a burnt out light bulb.

    • @jesseharrold1812
      @jesseharrold1812 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Trump's inner voice sounds like an AOL dial-up tone.

    • @jessikat56
      @jessikat56 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Jesse Harrold Omg totally pictured this with sound and all 🤣👌🏽

    • @esarts6744
      @esarts6744 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @MrSlowestD16
      @MrSlowestD16 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Just proves that he wasn't listening to a word she said....sad...

  • @robertbelardo7087
    @robertbelardo7087 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1669

    I guess the country wasn't too full for Melania's parents

    • @ingridp4457
      @ingridp4457 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      robert belardo two elderly folks that may not speak english

    • @owlredshift
      @owlredshift 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      haha nice you got that joke too eh

    • @sandrajones8774
      @sandrajones8774 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Ashley Janit family sponsored immigrants aren’t illegal. So what’s your point here?

    • @ToxicAudri
      @ToxicAudri 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      @crow Context is important, the topic the OP stated was dealing with family migration, or a form of legal migration, to which moron number 1 responded to stop crying about illegals, completely off topic if I'm to believe you as to what moron number 1 was talking about, then someone within the context of OP's comment dealing with legal migration responded as such, then we've got moron number 2 (that's you) playing the semantics game of "oh they didn't say anything about such and such" you don't have to, the context is there in OP's comment dealing with legal migration, why the fuck would you go off topic completely in response to that, who the fuck was crying about illegals anyway? No one was talking about them at all.
      The overall point here is this people are fucking stupid and many don't understand what is legal and what isn't legal migration, we have moron in chief who's basically saying that all migration is illegal if he deem's it so, except for those nice rich and white folks, then we've got moron's who worship his every word as if it came from god himself, then we've got morons like you who play semantics and excuse the absolutely idiocy of these morons that have infected the country and taken power over it.

    • @Zargabaath
      @Zargabaath 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @crow Nice big rig, big boi. Keep out the illegals! Breed in the family?

  • @noraberry323
    @noraberry323 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Something he didn't get around to discussing is making that transition from a green card holder to an actual citizen. Which is an incredibly difficult, long and expensive process. Not to mention that until you are a citizen there are certain rights that you do not have.

    • @gevansmd1
      @gevansmd1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It's SOOOOO difficult that my dirt poor grandparents were able to get legal citizenship, as millions continue to do LEGALLY.

    • @jorgegomez3224
      @jorgegomez3224 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@gevansmd1 Same my grandma just became a citizen and she doesn't earn a lot. These people have no idea what they are talking about.

  • @DoctorPortal_IX
    @DoctorPortal_IX 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    “I do not like that man Ted Cruz” needs to be made into a children’s book. I also know that’s not the only rhyme of that he’s made, though I forget which episode the other one is from.

    • @Feasco
      @Feasco 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Idk a children's book about a serial killer seems like a tough sell

    • @ultimatehawkeyefangirl
      @ultimatehawkeyefangirl 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      He did another one in the Filibuster episode I'm after a clip where Ted Cruz read Green Eggs and Ham to filibuster a bill.

    • @cameronwulff
      @cameronwulff 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      He had done 3 or 4 now I believe. They are great

    • @simoneidson21
      @simoneidson21 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Feasco How about a CEREAL killer?

  • @SuzanaValenca
    @SuzanaValenca 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1560

    I now expect a Ted Cruz poem on every show thank you

    • @malekmohamed1918
      @malekmohamed1918 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Suzana Valenca agreed said every one

    • @ericsmith116
      @ericsmith116 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Ted Cruz, a Texan representative
      Ted Cruz, needs to take a sedative
      Sleep young Ted sleep
      So we may never have to see you creep.
      A day ago you hated Trump
      Now you dream to be a Drumpf
      Proudly written by Eric Smith (a native Texan living in Cali).

    • @ksukallie
      @ksukallie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Roses are Red
      Michael Jackson sang Thriller
      Ted cruz is the zodiac killer

    • @theGhoulman
      @theGhoulman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Fear the Ted! There was an article during the election in 2016 where a reporter was doing routine background on Ted and called his respective universities (Yale and Princeton I think). The reporter didn't even ask for anything but basic info and people OFFERED just how everyone HATED Ted. Thaaat's a bit telling.

    • @BermuAlex
      @BermuAlex 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hope so!

  • @Frost-kh9mg
    @Frost-kh9mg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +796

    My Aunt and Uncle are chemical engineers and they've been waiting for over 14 years to get processed. Frankly I think they would help this country more than a lot of Americans would.

    • @mandolo100
      @mandolo100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      Frankly I think many immigrants would heklp the USA much more than many Americans. Especially more than the ****** sitting in the oval office....

    • @thomaswikstrand8397
      @thomaswikstrand8397 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      What's Dumpty the Orange Blimp's approval rating? That would be the percentage, at a very minimum.

    • @sniper-guy827
      @sniper-guy827 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mandolo100 why the fuck are you so mad

    • @moubhattacharyya1141
      @moubhattacharyya1141 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @e fred
      Imagine that coming from an original native American at some point in remote past. Many of the only white american wouldn't have even made it.
      It is always like, ppl who have weapons can rule in the u.s of a
      But then ppl are forgetful by nature, esp when they are well off.

    • @mamba101
      @mamba101 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I mean they gave birth to Jesus, if they can't get in what hope is there?

  • @petermcgill1315
    @petermcgill1315 4 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    "stone cold killer... in most cases." Hysterical. And sad.

    • @oldrrocr
      @oldrrocr 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      and yet there are millions of chumps who hang on his every utterance... SMH

  • @KLx2789
    @KLx2789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I can’t be the only one who teared up a bit when he mentioned how he nearly cried when he got his green card. My own personal experience aside, hearing the sincerity in his voice about how relieved he was when it happened honestly moved me.

  • @plazmotech5969
    @plazmotech5969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +764

    Took my parents some 18 years. The ceremony was only the second time I'd ever seen my dad cry

    • @lilpicyfreh4257
      @lilpicyfreh4257 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Thor Correia What was the first

    • @Nostalg33
      @Nostalg33 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      @@lilpicyfreh4257 his birth

    • @Username-or9nr
      @Username-or9nr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Antoine Burcklé 😂

    • @bunny_smith
      @bunny_smith 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's a nice story.

    • @stefanocas1982
      @stefanocas1982 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thor Correia there is no ceremony for green card, are you talking about naturalization?

  • @WintrBorn
    @WintrBorn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +698

    I work with a guy from Ecuador. I absolutely adore that man - a hard worker, fair to work for, great English, just an all around great man.
    He got his wife her citizenship , his adult children ( who are educated, or working on it) and finally himself. It took close to 20 years for a guy not on any sort of assistance, working hard, and completely legal.
    It’s insane.

    • @selfishcapitalist3523
      @selfishcapitalist3523 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's a good thing. We want hard working perseverant people.

    • @TheNinthGenerarion
      @TheNinthGenerarion 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Selfish Capitalist the point is, the legal systems take decades which makes illegal more easy to consider. If legal systems were easier to use there would be fewer demand for illegal immigration.

    • @selfishcapitalist3523
      @selfishcapitalist3523 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@TheNinthGenerarion America takes more legal immigrants per year than any other country. No more.

    • @TheNinthGenerarion
      @TheNinthGenerarion 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Selfish Capitalist your system is a mess though, and I’m talking about getting a green card or full citizenship, that system doesn’t work efficiently enough to deal with the amount of people who want to be there which causes illegal immigration to sky rocket

    • @selfishcapitalist3523
      @selfishcapitalist3523 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@TheNinthGenerarion American citizenship is not a right. Only the best of the best should get it.

  • @shadowdemon1375
    @shadowdemon1375 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    “I’ll let the President explain, so you’ll know exactly what it isn’t.”
    God am I so happy this isn’t the case anymore, yet constantly worried we can get back to that point.

    • @the-renegade
      @the-renegade ปีที่แล้ว

      12:05 _"I'll let the President explain, so you'll know exactly what it isn't."_
      😂

  • @reinardharmse4375
    @reinardharmse4375 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Cuccinelli: "Give me your tired and your poor, as long as they're not tired or poor."

  • @sholem_bond
    @sholem_bond 4 ปีที่แล้ว +451

    False. After I accidentally walked into my dishwasher door one time (which really hurt), nearly fell, and started crying, my house cat came over to meow-squeak at me concernedly. He also nearly attacked my dad because he (my dad) was pretending to roughhouse with my mom one time. My house cat is more concerned about human suffering than Donald Trump.

    • @gorillaguerillaDK
      @gorillaguerillaDK 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      shulamithbond
      It was only checking if you were about to die!
      😜😈

    • @dragoncurveenthusiast
      @dragoncurveenthusiast 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      When I was a kid and felt down, our cat sometimes came to cheer me up. I swear she knew and tried to make me feel better. Our dog did that, too, but nobody seems to doubt that in dogs for some reason.

    • @DeTuks
      @DeTuks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      that is a pretty low bar my friend..

    • @DeTuks
      @DeTuks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@gorillaguerillaDK so he could eat him!

    • @gigistoner8004
      @gigistoner8004 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DeTuks lol, reminds me of Craig Ferguson's fear of cats for this reason

  • @rorajoey
    @rorajoey 4 ปีที่แล้ว +867

    Okay, new theory: Melania's parents coming here is one reason he's trying to curtail "chain migration." He wants to deport his in-laws.

    • @ninachang8829
      @ninachang8829 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Payton Dean wow. I’d like to watch that

    • @tourniquette8303
      @tourniquette8303 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I mean...what? They're citizens now. That was a big part of the joke. He made them citizens.

    • @CymonTempler
      @CymonTempler 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Tigris Sapien th-cam.com/video/Y_MwpagOWo0/w-d-xo.html

    • @YOTUBE8848
      @YOTUBE8848 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@CymonTempler nice

    • @et34tt
      @et34tt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think it's actually because he's racist and reactionary and just doesn't like foreigners, but I guess your theory is equally valid.

  • @Nails_By_Kimberlee
    @Nails_By_Kimberlee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    "Chain" migration was somehow fine for Melania's parents though...🤔🤔

    • @LeonardLuzon
      @LeonardLuzon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Anything for his love although Melania looks like she want something else from him.

  • @Fr3nchee
    @Fr3nchee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I'm a "good immigrant" according to anti immigration supporters in the UK... mostly because I sound British and look British. They tell me how bad immigration is and when I tell them that I'm an immigrant, they suddenly can find a million reasons why I'm a good one. EVERY TIME.
    "You sound British" (Because I have lived here long enough)
    "You have English ancestors" (Yes, but my dad doesn't, is he bad?)
    "You were educated here" (Yeah... because I was allowed in)
    "You aren't refusing to be part of British culture" (No... Do you think those moving to a country move there to avoid the country?)
    "You've lived here most of your life" (again... because I was allowed in)
    "You pay taxes" (Yeah... because I was allowed in and have a job)
    "You don't abuse the system" (Yeah, because people leaving their country still have pride)
    "You're not a refugee though" (Yeah, because I don't NEED to leave my country, those who are being shot at, bombed, murdered and massacred probably deserve a little bit of safety more than I need to move for a slightly nicer life)
    People hate immigrants when they don't understand the real world. They are in a dream land where everyone is as lucky as them.
    They would be the first dead or the first to run if their entire state was razed to the ground. No water, food, electricity, violence, looting, killing over basic necessities with their kids in tow.
    People have had it so good, they forgot what real suffering looks like and so they only associate with those that look the same as them as long as the differences can easily be hidden and ignored. i.e. Me.

  • @HarshRajAlwaysfree
    @HarshRajAlwaysfree 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1928

    _This comment was deported due to expired visa_

    • @kawasakiwhiptwo5821
      @kawasakiwhiptwo5821 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Loop back around comment,get in (a respective line) and we will welcome you with open arms (eyes ready to read you) and read you with open minds. but until then...

    • @FiXato
      @FiXato 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      maybe you can find a Dad Joke to sponsor your immigration via the family path? ;)

    • @SleepyCatBeats
      @SleepyCatBeats 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Feelsrelatableman

    • @alexgreen4112
      @alexgreen4112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @Harsh Raj Always free
      No, this comment would like to propose marriage so that the comment can stay💍

    • @TheeBigChungus
      @TheeBigChungus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😯

  • @Lucy-fn9rj
    @Lucy-fn9rj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1841

    "our country is full" weird reason to decriminalize abortion but i'll take what i can get

    • @aitsugi
      @aitsugi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Lucy brilliant. Lol

    • @OB17358
      @OB17358 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Lucy he said that cause he is chronically constipated, look at his diet.

    • @jevo7747
      @jevo7747 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      @soflo23 fuck you holier than thous and the ease with which you lie when the truth doesn't support what you want to believe

    • @laurie_guilbeau
      @laurie_guilbeau 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Do you mean 'criminalize'?

    • @mightierthenthesword
      @mightierthenthesword 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @brajamtho757 People care, and everyone can agree it's sickening. But at the same time, the Obama administration didn't have any issues with overcrowding and the kid's dying in their own feces due to unsanitary living conditions, abusive jailer's, and the lack of medical personal.
      Oh, and the Facebook page with the Border Patrol Agents who "joked about the deaths of migrants, discussed throwing burritos at Latino members of Congress visiting a detention facility in Texas, and posted a vulgar illustration depicting Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez engaged in oral sex with a detained migrant,” Ahh, just on the icing on the shit cake.
      So yes, the cage's were built during the Obama administration, but it Trump's that made the most use out of them.

  • @soldiaz7261
    @soldiaz7261 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    another fun thing: you can become an illegal immigrant if a mistake happens with the visa renewal process. someone i knew almost had to move across the world [and then come back] because their renewal came a week late and they were undocumented--and if the government deports you, you can't get a renewal, even if the only reason you're illegal is that the visa renewal got delayed by a typo.

  • @xXpallinnXx
    @xXpallinnXx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I realise that we in Europe are extraordinary lucky that we have the Schengen area now.
    The fact that you can just not be allowed into a country to live there boggles my mind.

  • @billpavloff7799
    @billpavloff7799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +499

    Natives are collectively rolling their eyes over "come here legally"...

    • @Vulture2k
      @Vulture2k 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      They should have built a wall /s

    • @TheP3NGU1N
      @TheP3NGU1N 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@Vulture2k they should of skinned us alive the second we got to shore instead of offering food & help.

    • @billpavloff7799
      @billpavloff7799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@TheP3NGU1N that wasn't really our nature. Yes, we had skirmishes and whatnot but genocide didn't come to Native lands till Columbus was found lost at sea. Read the opening chapters of A People's History of the United States by H. Zinn for a factual acounting of that time.

    • @PwnyGOD
      @PwnyGOD 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @mike sixx You're defending genocide.

    • @thexalon
      @thexalon 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      As I'm sure some sachem noted: When England sends us their people, they aren't sending their best.

  • @nafseltaeb
    @nafseltaeb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +915

    I really appreciated hearing about your own personal immigration story!

    • @TheaHFrancis
      @TheaHFrancis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Me too! It makes me understand the process and struggle better

    • @madjidguerouad8096
      @madjidguerouad8096 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@TheaHFrancis And I am sill trying to go to the us

    • @CommaanderTaaco
      @CommaanderTaaco 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yes it is more impactful to hear a personal story, but when it comes to statistics or scale, personal stories don't mean anything. When someone is told that 100,000's of people are affected, but they need to be told about a singular story, to help other empathize with the struggle, it may backfire and mislead. Someone could tell you a personal story of how they got in thanks to their father and now they are bringing their children, ending the story with 'legal immigration is rather easy, I don't understand why anyone would immigrate illegally.'
      But yeah his story is a bit sad, others are heartbreaking, others will give you depression in high doses.

    • @pkerguy
      @pkerguy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I was a Diversity lottery winner for the year of 2017, and I was still not able to or receive a green card.
      I was given a number of 41694 (basically your order in terms of how far you are down the list), for those who don't know, there are 100 thousands picked each year, but only 50 thousand (or less) that receive their visa, normally with my number i would be guaranteed an opportunity to be vetted etc, but that particular year they only bothered to continue the process with 39500 people instead of the usual 50000, and so I was denied even the opportunity to go through with he process (and that was after a year of waiting).
      I'm a college graduate with high education (and currently in a good job) so it didnt really affect me, but I know other who had everything planned on going (and some even got married with the hopes of taking their SO with them) only for something as unusual as this to happen to them as well.
      The Immigration office's response? "Sorry pal, better luck next year" (literally one response by phone before hanging up)

    • @CarlosSchultzMusic
      @CarlosSchultzMusic 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Madjid Guerouad why the fuck would you want.

  • @shivangitomar7110
    @shivangitomar7110 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The fact that it was so difficult for him given his employment and also that he's married to an American veteran is baffling.

  • @iriswhite3184
    @iriswhite3184 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    My parents are from India, but I was born in the US. They have been applying for thier Green card for 20 years, yet people we know get theirs in 2 or 3 years... At this point we're just waiting for my brother to turn 21 to sponsor our parents.

  • @AlfredTortelloni
    @AlfredTortelloni 4 ปีที่แล้ว +434

    If it was terrifying for John Oliver, imagine what it must be like for someone for whom being here is life or death.

    • @AlfredTortelloni
      @AlfredTortelloni 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      @Ben A cool story bro

    • @avatarwan5824
      @avatarwan5824 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @Ben A Aight, I'll kick you out of America when you scream, okay?

    • @stclemmons1969
      @stclemmons1969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @Ben A Then why do you fear them coming here? YOU are unpatriotic sir Ben and your citizenship to the bully USA has been revoked. Wimp.

    • @stclemmons1969
      @stclemmons1969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Ben A What was your thesis about anyway? Why does it make us un-American to be against it?

    • @stclemmons1969
      @stclemmons1969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Ben A Then why don't you want them here. Discussion is ongoing here, so no bad logic yet.

  • @psyclops973
    @psyclops973 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1634

    I'm loving these rhymes roasting Ted Cruz. Please make them a regular trope on your show

    • @CaptainSweatpants90
      @CaptainSweatpants90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      He should get Eric from Internet Comment Etiquette to read the next one, and simultaneously tweet it to Ted Cruz. It won't happen, most likely, but it would be fucking amazing.

    • @DanArnets1492
      @DanArnets1492 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah, nothing like mocking someone's body on national TV! That's the best stuff!!! Can't wait for LastCuckTonight's episode on bullying and how it's bad... unless you're insulting "literal nazis" or whatever.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, they have to be a thing now.

    • @Chris1111116
      @Chris1111116 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sounds like the poem of Jan Böhmermann towards Erdogan... hopefully this won’t led to an international diplomacy crisis ;-)

    • @CaptainSweatpants90
      @CaptainSweatpants90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@DanArnets1492 uhm... Mocking his body? He didn't do that. He mocked his character, his political views and his asskissing of the President, whom Cruz had a heavy feud with during the campaign. Sure, there was one line about a boxy head in there, but if that is enough for you to call the entire thing body shaming, then MAYBE you want to live in a country where free speech isn't a thing and people get locked away and whipped for saying kinda mean things.

  • @AccidentalNinja
    @AccidentalNinja 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    That bit where he asked where her parents were when she just told him they were killed... I have no words...

  • @SiRenfield
    @SiRenfield ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Have an online friend from Europe (which country I’m not sure and I’m respecting their wishes to not be identified by it) whose family might be living here, who might be moving to the US with his family; sincerely wishing them the best after remembering this piece

  • @liderc1589
    @liderc1589 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2420

    I enjoyed the parts where John discussed his own experiences with the immigration system

    • @emmaier4306
      @emmaier4306 4 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      "I know what you're really thinking deep down... and FUCK YOU!"

    • @Maphisto86
      @Maphisto86 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      It starts at 8:41. It's priceless.

    • @thomasharris7459
      @thomasharris7459 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      There isn't enough toxic attacking on this comment. Allow me. No you're wrong, you don't like that and you're dumb for believing that you did.

    • @thekub32
      @thekub32 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@thomasharris7459 Are you for real?

    • @xxxdumbwordstupidnumberxxx4844
      @xxxdumbwordstupidnumberxxx4844 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@thekub32 I think it's a joke, but honestly, it's hard to tell on the internet.

  • @EmmaYaBasta
    @EmmaYaBasta 4 ปีที่แล้ว +741

    The fact that you can BUY 'legal immigration' in the U.S. says everything about the nation's ruling class values.

    • @Hiekokuchiki
      @Hiekokuchiki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      I had a rich friend from china, who was here as an art student. She doesn't work or contribute in any great way. As soon as she finished school, she married a dude who doesn't even like her like that, and she had a green card within less than a year. Her parents paid for everything.
      She still doesn't contribute anything worthwhile either and has no plans on future education. Its frustrating.

    • @AA123TD
      @AA123TD 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Almost all countries do it.

    • @antenna_prolly
      @antenna_prolly 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I recognize the art style in your avatar and I so very much approve.

    • @macmcleod1188
      @macmcleod1188 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You can buy legal immigration in New Zealand and many other nations.
      I'm a liberal but you sound soft-headed. Obviously we want wealthy people to move to the country and bring resources and create jobs.

    • @macmcleod1188
      @macmcleod1188 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Charles Crandall it's a global practice. If you look at many countries immigration policies there are explicit Provisions that have you can create a few jobs and are bringing in a million dollars than you were fast-tracked. That's because it's obvious you're going to be a positive gain for the society.
      It's just hard-nosed reality. The number of cases compared to the total immigration load is miniscule.
      It may feel unfair to you, but it's no more unfair than picking the best players first when you are starting a pickup game of sports. If you want to lose, then go ahead and pick the people who you know will be the worst players first.

  • @DarkroeTech
    @DarkroeTech 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    "Our country is full!"
    So...
    We're limiting childbirth then, right? No? Cuz we're full, and we don't have the resources for higher population. Or at least we're making it really easy to get tubes tied or cords cut to limit population growth to a maintainable level? No? Then we're at LEAST making sure that those who are citizens are getting the proper care they need, right? No? Then we're at LEAST making sure that our veterans, who sacrificed a lot for our "freedom," have easy and appropriate access to the help resources they were promised? No?
    Then I guess it's a bunch of grumpy old Americans who seem more concerned with the idea of control than any of the three ideologies outlined in the United States' Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Hard to live when you can't get affordable healthcare. Hard to have Liberty when basic amendments like the ERA don't exist in the Constitution. Hard to pursue happiness when a bunch of old citizens, stuck in their own fantasy world, fail to see the damage they are causing to the youth they so desperately act like they are protecting, but in reality are just trying to mold into their warped sense of what the youth *should* be.
    Hint: the youth will be whatever they want to be, and the more you stifle change, the more it hurts when change finally breaks through.

    • @antenna_prolly
      @antenna_prolly 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I sort of imagine that allowing not-just-born children and full-grown adults into the country with the ability to work and/or go to school right away as opposed to new, resource-and-time demanding babies who will likely graduate into the apocalypse, is a much smarter use of our limited country.
      ('Course the easiest way to get the most bang for your buck is still to make billionaires pay their mother-f∆cking taxes.)

    • @ForrestFox626
      @ForrestFox626 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      America is very hypocritical

    • @damiankaleomontero496
      @damiankaleomontero496 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      t v no sh*t sherlock

    • @totallynameless8861
      @totallynameless8861 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Vasectomies are safer than getting tubes tied, and make more sense considering it's male orgasms that cause pregnancy, but yes, they can't have all these restrictions on birth control and then say the country's full.

  • @transmasc
    @transmasc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Didn’t think I’d see a BTS reference on a John Oliver video about legal immigration but here we are

  • @minitoffee
    @minitoffee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    Maltese citizen here and cannot believe my tiny country just got mentioned by John Oliver

    • @twilightgardenspresentatio6384
      @twilightgardenspresentatio6384 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Elsa Cassar good seeing you!

    • @byronp2311
      @byronp2311 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Well, at least you've got your falcons :)

    • @nikkibee187
      @nikkibee187 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am pretty sure it was also him who did a story (on one of the regular segments last season, or the season before, that do not make it on TH-cam) about a journalist in Malta being assassinated. I cannot think of any other show that I would have been watching in the U.S. that talks in-depth about international current events, so I am 90% sure it was a story on Last Week Tonight.

    • @alejandram.c.5064
      @alejandram.c.5064 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Did they give your country back after the show?

    • @Seb898
      @Seb898 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi maltese person :D Same here I got so excited :D

  • @16Chavin
    @16Chavin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +599

    Ah yesss. Our concerned Englishman has once again dropped another fascinating poem about Ted Cruz

    • @rgwak
      @rgwak 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Make this a recurring thing...yes please!

    • @uncomfortablecat
      @uncomfortablecat 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      •Internet Comment Etiquette has joined the chat•

    • @kimberlys8422
      @kimberlys8422 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Dr. Suess has nothing on that.

    • @NJ-wb1cz
      @NJ-wb1cz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Why are you calling an American citizen "English"? Is it because he's white you racist?!

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I wish we could have him for president!

  • @benjaminscott8198
    @benjaminscott8198 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My mother passed when I was born.
    My father needed help with me, my 18mo old severely handicapped brother, and my almost 5yo sister.
    He hired a woman from Mexico to live with and help us.
    She was a big part of our family and even at 43, I still call her Momma.
    Because she didn't speak English well, I grew up speaking English and Spanish.
    We also helped bring all her 8 kids over in the 1980s and 1990s.
    They are our family.

  • @WESTSIDEP707
    @WESTSIDEP707 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I love how many Americans don’t even know the laws of the country they live in it cracks me up but also scares me

    • @4philipp
      @4philipp 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      How well do you know criminal law if you are not engaged in that field?
      It’s the same for immigration. That doesn’t prevent people from having opinions. And similar to being sick, you may not know the root cause but you can clearly identify the symptoms.

  • @DjayLoic
    @DjayLoic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +483

    Graduating with an MSc in Engineering this year from an American University. But since I am a European citizen, obtaining a job here is almost impossible. My American friends keep asking why I won't stay. Now I can finally explain it in an easy way: "Just watch this and you might finally understand."

    • @thereturnofmasterjoekerr3674
      @thereturnofmasterjoekerr3674 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      America let’s more immigrants than any country in the world. Nobody is entitled to immigrate here.

    • @ErnestHemingwayy
      @ErnestHemingwayy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      you are not wrong joe kerr. So maybe remove that big ass statue of liberty?

    • @223Drone
      @223Drone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@thereturnofmasterjoekerr3674 Except they are but xenophobes like you want to kick all the immigrants.

    • @thereturnofmasterjoekerr3674
      @thereturnofmasterjoekerr3674 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You should be grateful for our generosity. Instead you hate us for not letting in every person in the world and giving them a million dollars each.

    • @223Drone
      @223Drone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      @@thereturnofmasterjoekerr3674 You don't need to strawman just be upfront about your racism and xenophobia.

  • @JustinAzzopardi
    @JustinAzzopardi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +842

    Hey, I am Maltese. And I can confirm that the map of Malta is actually to scale :P

    • @roguishpaladin
      @roguishpaladin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      I'm glad you escaped the infographic box before it disappeared, eradicating Malta forever.
      Also, I think half the population of Malta has posted in this comments section. Do you all know each other? Like, do you see someone else's post and say, "Hey, that's my neighbor Bill!"

    • @davidrgrech0
      @davidrgrech0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@roguishpaladin nah, not neighbours but we definitely have at least 30+ mutual friends and family

    • @JustinAzzopardi
      @JustinAzzopardi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@roguishpaladin Well first and foremost thank you for your good wishes regarding my escape :P
      As for the population of Malta, the native population is around 410,000, which I'm sure you realise is a small number compared to that of other countries. There is only one country with a smaller population in the European Union and that is Iceland with a population of roughly 340,000. As for the size of the country, it is 316 square kilometers. Just as a comparison, that is roughly almost double the size of Brooklyn (which is 183 kilometers squared). So yes, we small. As for all of us all knowing each other, when you are maltese and you add someone on facebook, you can be sure to have at least 1 mutual friend :)

    • @BlakeFaeMorton
      @BlakeFaeMorton 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@JustinAzzopardi I live in Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex and both of our biggest cities are over 900 squared km each. I think I would have claustrophobia there.

    • @spaceonisorceress4406
      @spaceonisorceress4406 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      My grandmother's late Maltese was probably larger than your entire island.
      Probably.

  • @bean3571
    @bean3571 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This could’ve been my dad, my dad came here in the 90’s, dirt poor, got a PhD, and a low paying job in science, he almost definitely wouldn’t have been admitted to America today, not because he was a bad person or untalented, but because he wasn’t wealthy, and Chinese

  • @k3upikachu
    @k3upikachu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +377

    I had a friend who had lived in the United States since he was 12, and arrived under his parents' work visa. They moved back to the UK, and he stayed here for college. one morning, he wakes up to a knock at the door and is promptly putting chains and brought to a detention center because he wasn't taking enough credits that semester. He was reported to *India*, where he had never lived aside from being born there. Just insanity.

    • @leif09123g
      @leif09123g 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      The school should have a responsibility to inform him of those requirements for his visa. They sponsored his visa, their legal team should have know this was a possibility and reached out to him long before this happened.

    • @You-pk6jh
      @You-pk6jh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No its his responsibility to know the rules. It's not anyone's job to spoon feed him when he's a grown adult.

    • @k3upikachu
      @k3upikachu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@leif09123g this was community college. I don't think they're paying that much attention

    • @k3upikachu
      @k3upikachu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@You-pk6jh 19 is still pretty young, and he didn't have to worry about immigration requirements previously because he'd come here with his parents when he was younger. He had been living legally in the US since he was a kid and the threat of deportation had never crossed his mind.

    • @manaalwajidali3408
      @manaalwajidali3408 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That's horrible!!! What happened??? Where there any family in India that could help him get home??? Did his parents find out soon after??? What happened

  • @SunnyGoklani9
    @SunnyGoklani9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +685

    Kudos man! You're a gem, John Oliver! No one else is covering this topic, and you brought this to limelight. I'm an H-1B holder, and a separate episode can be made on what H1B reforms could do to the growth of this country :)
    Sidenote: Yes, they want people who wouldn't need social security, but all legal immigrants, including me, have to pay social security and medicare tax, every single paycheck - knowing that we won't ever even qualify for it.

    • @eileensnow6153
      @eileensnow6153 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      His name is Sad Zazu

    • @rfimor
      @rfimor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Even student visa holders are required to pay social security and Medicare taxes if they work on campus.

    • @OctEddie
      @OctEddie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      It's absolutely insane you're required to pay into a system you're not allowed to benefit from.
      It's basically robbery.

    • @t.e.b.2565
      @t.e.b.2565 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      as graduate assistants we can get all that money back during our declaration of taxes .. which ideally gets you through the 2-3 months that are not paid in Summer.

    • @KEvinou
      @KEvinou 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@OctEddie In my country (France), we call that "solidarity". Some people, often the ones in good shape, pay for services they do not need (because they're in good shape, physically and financially). We call that solidarity, because one day, when they grow old, every people needs to be helped one way or another. Solidarity : do something out of compassion, not because you find a benefit in doing so. EXCEPT... In my country... immigrants benefit from social security and medicare. Because they're taxed for social security, they have access to it. That, is called common sense, I guess.

  • @alysiamerdavid-wasser9165
    @alysiamerdavid-wasser9165 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My brother met his wife on a trip to Peru to conduct DNA mapping for his college thesis back in '08. They married in 2012. It took 3 ft. of paperwork, $2,500.00, & *5 YEARS* to get his wife here, the "right way", smh..

    • @_BenJaminCroft_
      @_BenJaminCroft_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Because they weren't the only ones who who were trying to do that. DUH!

    • @Anvilman
      @Anvilman 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can ignore Benjamin. He's a bad faith troll using copy/pasted arguments to push a political narrative. I don't even bother engaging him anymore because he'll forget the conversation and use the same arguments regardless of how many times they've been debunked.

    • @_BenJaminCroft_
      @_BenJaminCroft_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Anvilman And yet you still haven't told me which one you have debunked. If you did debunk one of my sources, hence the reason why I no longer use it anymore. And it was only one out of over a dozen other sources that you didn't debunk.
      Unlike *all* of your so called "sources" that hold no merit or validity whatsoever.

  • @lunayoshi
    @lunayoshi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    19:01 I lost it at "Sad Zazu."

  • @alexlee3879
    @alexlee3879 4 ปีที่แล้ว +417

    This hits home really close as a legal immigrant. My family moved to US on my dads work visa. He had to endure terrible work conditions and low wages on the hopes of the green card sponsorship and much of said wages went to our immigration lawyer. The whole process took a decade or so and I was terrified of missing the age cut off and not being able to receive the green card because the waiting time was so long and I was approaching adulthood. I remember how thrilled and relieved I felt after finally recieving the green card. We came legally with some funds and family connections, but the process was still a fucking nightmare and an uphill battle full of uncertainties. I just cannot imagine what the "right way" would look like to someone less fortunate and less connected. The right likes touting the "right way" because thay makes them feel less like assholes; personally I think the hypocrisy makes their hateful rhetoric even more vile and ugly.

    • @umbrellacorporationwuhanfa3731
      @umbrellacorporationwuhanfa3731 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Quit your bitchn.
      You got the card, dont like it give it back otherwise stick a egg roll in it.😂

    • @thehellofajumper
      @thehellofajumper 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      With "hatefull rhetoric", do you mean talking about legal immigration or some of the other stunts they pull?
      (asking because I dont consider the conservative party to be particularly hatefull. Backwards and dishonest, sure. Cant say they seem hatefull tho.)

    • @sainjawoof3506
      @sainjawoof3506 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      They speak of an idealized "right "way, bc none will ever know what the experience is truly like. Money makes everything easy and laws very flexible.

    • @shinnam
      @shinnam 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @@umbrellacorporationwuhanfa3731 I'll let him have my place. I migrated from the US to work in S. Korea 21 years ago. I can't imagine living in the US again where immigrant origin people have so little empathy for other immigrants.

    • @sainjawoof3506
      @sainjawoof3506 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@tormentor6737 you need to stop idolizing the American society. What you watch on TV is idealistic bullshit. The way Americans speak, is not correct English. Everything you described of your country, is NO DIFFERENT to US. If you are poor in the U.S. life is just as shit. Enjoy what you have, the grass is not greener, IT'S ADTROTURF.

  • @riebenzahl-524
    @riebenzahl-524 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1080

    _"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"_
    Maybe france has to demand back the statue of liberty!

    • @riebenzahl-524
      @riebenzahl-524 4 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      If that is your understanding of liberty I have to quote your so called "president": "saaaaad".
      A bigger one? Maybe a golden one of mr Trump? You know the word "hubris"?
      It is a key topic in greec play for example and it never ends well.
      Without immigration and refugees the USA wouldn't be the powerhouse it is now (still). But your society is in decline, and the more you try to isolate your country, the worse it will get.
      Examples of that had been shown here, like the Indian business guy.
      At least you admitted with your reply that you lost the moral highground.

    • @commonpeace5595
      @commonpeace5595 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Look at the catastrophe that immigration created in France...

    • @riebenzahl-524
      @riebenzahl-524 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      @Ethan Steel
      _"Thanks to immigration the US is in a constant state of inner chaos and bloodshed."_
      You mean due to your gun regulations? >ou know that most gun shootings had been done by american citizens, not refugees or immigrants
      _"Communities separate by race and origin"_
      A problem adressed in this show and much older than recent immigration, thanks to good old racism
      _"That european countries are starting to get a taste of us thanks to them opening themselves up to mass immigration."_
      1. apples and pears, europe has complete different frame conditions, such as population density
      2.) Mass immigration is not our fault, but numbers dropped massivly
      I don't say it is not a problem, but it is a problem that can be handled
      3.) again here is the same difference to be made as in the US between legal and illegal immigration
      _"We aren't great because of immigration."_
      So, your ancestors didn't migrate to the US?
      Or take Henrey Ford....an immigrant
      Tesla
      Even good old Einstein
      Or, well the Nazis that build your rockets ^^
      At least most volunteered to go to the US, otherwise they would have ended in the USSR
      _"WW2 gave us an unfair economic advantage that we capitalized upon."_
      No doubt that this is a major factor, but without immigration your country wouldn't even exist, and wouldn't even have been a major industrial power back BEFORE WW1 already
      And sure that your military ensures your global position, for now.
      But china, india, brazil are growing fast and the influence of the USA shrinks, especially due to a loss in "soft power", aka diplomacy.

    • @riebenzahl-524
      @riebenzahl-524 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      @@commonpeace5595
      Have you ever been to france?
      I doubt that.
      If you think violence and crime are everywhere due to immigrants, you also believe that all of the USA must look like Chicago or Detroit

    • @riebenzahl-524
      @riebenzahl-524 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@commonpeace5595
      Paris had problems long before the migrant crisis, which we (in big parts) have to thank the USA for.
      But hey, it is all the muslims fault and Paris is everywhere in France.
      Nope, I doubt that you ever left your country, let alone visited Paris

  • @Adeseo
    @Adeseo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Anyone else watching during COVID weirded out by the audience laughter

    • @Adeseo
      @Adeseo 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Leide Keine Dummköpfe it’s not canned, it’s a live studio audience. You can sign up for the lottery to get tickets online if you want.

    • @Ohms_vs_Draaggs
      @Ohms_vs_Draaggs 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Leide Keine Dummköpfe yet here you are

  • @dr.ghost-rugstunks9663
    @dr.ghost-rugstunks9663 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    nice to know that john also recogizes r2d2 and c-3p0 unofficial official marriage

  • @jhonshephard921
    @jhonshephard921 4 ปีที่แล้ว +364

    I love that John Oliver, an actual immigrant is covering this. All we hear on mainstream media about immigration is Americans who don't know anything about the immigration system.

    • @GusOfTheDorks
      @GusOfTheDorks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah! I mean why should we care about the oppinions of the people represented by the American citizens? Obviously they talk way too much about it. I mean its not like it's going to affect their country or anything.

    • @condimentking3395
      @condimentking3395 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @Gus Of The Dorks All he said was it’s nice to hear an opinion from someone that went through the process. Chill out

    • @GusOfTheDorks
      @GusOfTheDorks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@condimentking3395 Sorry, I just get testy whenever the disingenuous liar named John Oliver puts out a propaganda piece and I see people who believe it. It's like nails on a chalk board. If the nails were made emotional manipulation.

    • @dvguynn1
      @dvguynn1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree. It would be nice if he proposed solutions though. Anyone can do commentary complaining about the problem.

    • @ciaranosullivan9352
      @ciaranosullivan9352 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      As a legal immigrant of 27 years I can attest to the accuracy of the segment .A lot of Americans don't know much about the legal immigration system simply because they have not had to encounter it ever.So a lot of lazy assumptions float off the top of the head .

  • @eduardokalil4245
    @eduardokalil4245 4 ปีที่แล้ว +635

    Finally someone talked about it. I'm a legal immigrants, came as a grad student, got a student visa, then a job an a work visa and finally a green card some years later.
    I was lucky to go through all these processes who are a black box and take much more time than they should to be processed.
    Every time I see an American talking about "get in line" it blows my mind how ignorant they are about their own immigration system.
    The discussion is always about legal vs illegal and it does even scratches the surface. I have many brilliant friends that had to go back to their countries after getting a job willing to sponsor a visa, but the visa was denied.
    Even if you have a path, there are no guarantees. Think about having a wife and kids while you work under a work visa that can literally end overnight if you are fired. You are building your life here.
    Honestly, looking back, I don't know how I survived the whole stress.
    Thanks for this video.

    • @sherriecao3491
      @sherriecao3491 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      You are lucky, this year it's even hard to get a freaking OPT.

    • @sherriecao3491
      @sherriecao3491 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @brajamtho757 Dude do you have any idea how much s well-educated immigrant can contribute to the economy and how many of them are forced to move to Canada and Australia?

    • @sherriecao3491
      @sherriecao3491 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @brajamtho757 It's one thing to forcefully take someone from their countries as you described. It's another totally different thing that they made a decision and rejecting it. It's just stupid.

    • @sherriecao3491
      @sherriecao3491 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @brajamtho757 I believe in the freedom of movement. Why shouldn't you mind your own business and stop managing others' life?

    • @feeshac1974
      @feeshac1974 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      brajamtho757 are you native american? If not then why did your ancestors leave their country?

  • @Wh40kFinatic
    @Wh40kFinatic 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The same people saying, "Come here legally" and "Just obey the law and nothing bad will happen" are the same people shouting from the rooftops how they'd become outlaws if guns were banned.

  • @javi009z
    @javi009z 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    A white guy who actually knows what the immigration system is like. You invited to the Mexican BBQ

  • @BlackieSootfur
    @BlackieSootfur 4 ปีที่แล้ว +984

    I worked at a dmv this past summer. People came in to renew their licenses every day. If you were a legal, us citizen, it took like 5 minutes once you got to the counter. In and out. No problems. If you were in the us temporarily on a visa or employee auth card, you had to bring in SO MANY DOCUMENTS before we'd be allowed to issue a renewal. If any one of those documents had an issue, we had to turn them away. If our systems came back with an error message we had to alert the higher ups and they had to wait a minimum of THREE DAYS before they could renew. It was. Terrible. My heart goes out to the people who have to deal with this utter bullshit.

    • @TheUnlistedOne
      @TheUnlistedOne 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Yes, DMV is hell if you are an immigrant..

    • @nanithef2034
      @nanithef2034 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Two words shake my core: second verification.

    • @soneshengg
      @soneshengg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      For my last renewal I went 5 times to DMV, every time a new person at desk asking me for a new document. I am here for 11 years paying taxes but still feel like I am not welcomed.

    • @nanithef2034
      @nanithef2034 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@soneshengg Cuz we are not. Sorry to say, but that is it.

    • @soneshengg
      @soneshengg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @G G lol sure , if you say so

  • @SerHeadwig
    @SerHeadwig 4 ปีที่แล้ว +392

    "I have no problem with immigrants coming here legally."
    *comes here legally*
    "No! This isn't how you're supposed to play the game!"

    • @gamingman2720
      @gamingman2720 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Just “no no we don’t do that here”

    • @SerHeadwig
      @SerHeadwig 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Laura Brown please shut the fuck up

  • @TjPhysicist
    @TjPhysicist 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I will just say ONE thing about the american immigration system: I'm a single 30 year old, citizen and resident of CANADA, with a permanent salaried job at a fortune 500 SILICON VALLEY GIANT. BOTH my parents are almost retired citizens of US who are likely in the top 10-15% in terms of how much money they make. My parents applied to sponsor me to come to the US, and it will take me at least another 10-15 YEARS to even get close. That's INSANE, on average for anyone in my position the next 10-15 years would bring SO MANY changes. Not to mention the fact that 30s is kinda the age where most ppl "settle down", would I really want to move in my 40s after that? And you know, let's not forget: 1. Me being in the US means one more person who will be able to support my parents as they get older so they are less of a burden on teh state 2. As John Oliver points out, this is family based migration, something Trump and a lot of his supporters seems to hate. And that's not even getting into how INSANE it is that the employment route is not the one i'm going for (believe me I tried, and Trumps changes have made it impossible), seeing as how as i said - I'm employed by a fortune500.

  • @wonderbugone
    @wonderbugone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yaaaaaassssss the boys made it into Last Week Tonight! This ARMY is proud 10:17

  • @TheStrGzr-zq1qq
    @TheStrGzr-zq1qq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +242

    Yeeeah I'm in the same boat:
    Met my wife and son on deployment to their village. Stayed good friends for the last six years. I study aerospace engineering now, and left the military, so money isn't great. Her family has no money cause 60 years ago, their town didn't exist. Her grandparents were as indigenous as pocahontas. We were approved for the fiancee visas for her and our son. They got here safe, we got married, but no one told us we needed to file the 2000 green card application in the same 90 day window we had to get married. That's too much to get on top of rent and food and gas and utilities and insurance, and taking care of my medically retired mother ... so when we found this out at the DMV and social security office, we asked what happened and they just said you're illegal immigrants now ... so even when you get in line, they kick you out if you're poor. And thanks to the new federal aid law they just passed, we can't even rely on federal aid when money gets tight cause then they won't approve her green card when we do get the money. So now I'm the only one working cause I don't want her working illegally, our son is 10, and my mom is medically retired AND what's worse is I can't even get my veteran benefits because he shut the government down for his wall and they still can't catch back up on that process ...
    Soooooooo basically .. FUCK TRUMP!

    • @anthonyramirez1341
      @anthonyramirez1341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      I'm stressed out just by reading that situation damn.

    • @TheStrGzr-zq1qq
      @TheStrGzr-zq1qq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@anthonyramirez1341 appreciate the love. We're not giving up though. Just cause they wanna do things wrong doesn't mean we will. That's not the real American way. I'll get my degree soon and start making real money building space craft.
      Then I'll go to the moon, and I'll build a BIIIIIG wall lmao it'll be a beautiful big and strong wall and you can't get in unless you know how to read. This way, Trump will never get in, no matter how much money he makes off our misery.

    • @Paul0000
      @Paul0000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Ever thought of going to Europe?
      Aerospace engineers are kindly welcomed, at least in The Netherlands, there's a family emigration and a health system in place as well...

    • @siddharthmalhotra3036
      @siddharthmalhotra3036 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      TheStrGzr9000 stay strong man

    • @lorigoshert6667
      @lorigoshert6667 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I sincerely hope all works out well for you.

  • @mrogan6627
    @mrogan6627 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1598

    god i love Johnny Owl's Ted Cruz poems.

    • @BraxtonShaheel22
      @BraxtonShaheel22 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I really want to believe that the Ted Cruz poems are written by Daniel O'brian.

    • @lawrence_z1992
      @lawrence_z1992 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Better believe, one day it will be a book..

    • @felixfischer312
      @felixfischer312 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know last week when i saw that he read the book i couldn't believe it and that noone jumped out the window listening to all that time

    • @niceguy2171
      @niceguy2171 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Really believe they are J'O's favorite thing to do each week anymore, and the only reason he shows Cruz at all ;)

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Someone should make a compilation of those!

  • @TheLevenon
    @TheLevenon 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    man i wish i could have a cup of tea with john and talk about poetry....

  • @doverpetersen8098
    @doverpetersen8098 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    My view, Why not bring them all in?
    Bring more people to the PARTY!!!

  • @safir2241
    @safir2241 4 ปีที่แล้ว +582

    As a certain black dude has said:
    “Don’t boo, Vote!”

    • @isabelled.4799
      @isabelled.4799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Yes. This and more, please! Run for office, donate to campaigns, help any way you can!

    • @joyl3926
      @joyl3926 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Ahhhhhh My favorite black dude & president forever!

    • @yvonnedunlap5305
      @yvonnedunlap5305 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Permanent Residents CAN'T vote, duh.

    • @isabelled.4799
      @isabelled.4799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@yvonnedunlap5305 Seriously, with all the voter suppression coming from the right, it's a wonder we still call ourselves a democracy

    • @yvonnedunlap5305
      @yvonnedunlap5305 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@isabelled.4799 One has to be a citizen to vote. Permanent Residents are not allowed to vote, only to pay taxes. This is not suppression. It's the immigration standard. Although I agree with suppression from the right this is not one of them. Permanent Residents are not citizens and do not have the same rights as citizens.

  • @SleepyCatBeats
    @SleepyCatBeats 4 ปีที่แล้ว +400

    Went through this system myself. It's pretty darn insane and very accurately displayed here. Studied in America for years, worked but had to go back to my country. But hey, at least I didn't get shot...

    • @xxjabarri2xx
      @xxjabarri2xx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      yet, theres still hope man!

    • @lynnwilhoite6194
      @lynnwilhoite6194 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@xxjabarri2xx Wow! 🤣😂🤣

    • @sumitsingh-bc1iw
      @sumitsingh-bc1iw 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's good man, do something good for your country now.

    • @daleanolan1464
      @daleanolan1464 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Big win for you really your one of the lucky ones

    • @imlonelypleasehelp5443
      @imlonelypleasehelp5443 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      KrustyKatz you see the only issue with anecdotes is that I can say I know an entire construction group of immigrants who would disagree with you.

  • @leboiofbois1005
    @leboiofbois1005 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It’s hard to have legal immigration when the president is limiting all immigration

  • @thezekroman
    @thezekroman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Imagine having Ted Cruz as your senator.

  • @catcatcatcatcatcatcatcatcatca
    @catcatcatcatcatcatcatcatcatca 4 ปีที่แล้ว +510

    1: "I like legal immigration"
    2: "well make it easier then so we can have more of it"
    1: *angry republican noises*

    • @Alexa-Raine
      @Alexa-Raine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      We already have the most in the world....

    • @MsBlackIntrovert
      @MsBlackIntrovert 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ellis Lagres why so serious lol I could your blood vessels popping from the other end of the phone

    • @bramvanduijn8086
      @bramvanduijn8086 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@EllisInAction Sentences start with capital letters. Also, ad hominems are for the weak.

    • @crazy9932
      @crazy9932 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@Alexa-Raine u spelled germany UK, n france wrong. Last I checked we wer like 5th place

    • @Alexa-Raine
      @Alexa-Raine 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@crazy9932 check again, stupid, because that's wrong.