I lost her forever.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ส.ค. 2019
- Try not to weep challenge.
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This is so sad. Anyway subscribe if you have mozzarella sticks in your back pockets 👉 bit.ly/frankjames
Frank James I have 5. Want one?
I think I have onions in my pocket 😭😭😭
You don’t keep crumbs in your belly button to save em for later? 😂 and congrats on 100k FJ 💛
Frank James You should check out th-cam.com/video/EiBsczafvaA/w-d-xo.html this video. I honestly think it would help you understand the situation.
What about tots?
And this is what falling in love with the idea of love looks like.
This ^^^^ comment needs pinning to top o'the heap. jmho.
I probably feel this as an infj... one in 100 girls I look at. And it hurts but gives me hope that I will love a women with all my heart one day!
Yep. Putting it on a pedestal and idealizing the frig out of it instead of seeing it for what it really is. It's the land of what could be and possibility, versus the land of what is, nor never was. Essentially the jagged little pill NFs have to swallow eventually. Infp here, I know all too well.
With this type of thinking you will always be disappointed,it’s like torture
@@Soda_Kat true
“Being a hopeless romantic: wanting to make your life as difficult as possible just to make a good story.”
I thought this was just the literature nerd in me, but it appears now I have found the root.
So this is how you call it... 💔
Faaizaa Nahar omg MY. LIFE.
holy CRÊPE i could ever put a name on it but this is ME WOW
faaizaa nahar
My literal standard for deciding if I'd maybe like to start a relationship with someone, or I'm just attracted to them, is me asking myself "Can I picture the rest of my life with this person?"
Lit nerds are groomed by our fictional children behind pages.... We are all disenchanted with the real world; and most of us will never be satisfied because "Hogwarts could always be real, and I'm just a muggle."
I now realise why I'm single: there is an INFP out there somewhere overthinking himself to death
Me
@@davidsloan6646 Just keep waiting bro. She will reply. I believe in you.
😂😂😂😂
@@davidsloan6646 i had to leave you to overthink... you done yet? 😂
OMG ARE YOU THE BIN STACKERRR????
As a woman, I've heard this "I couldn't do that--it's too risky" line from guys, when actually having a cute guy search the whole airport and put a note in your hand saying "I really enjoyed stacking bins with you" would be super cute and totally work on most women. I'm curious to know how many guys actually have tried the "too risky" moves with bad results to be able to conclude that it is, in fact, too risky.
100% agree!
The success of these actions is entirely dependent on if you're physically attractive. If you're not, then it comes off as creepy/stalkery. Most guys are ugly therefore never attempt this out of fear of coming across as a creep.
I definitely agree, but idk if I trust myself as I tend to fall for crazy guys lol
@@davidsloan6646 Mostly true. However, a nicely tailored suit and a good hairdresser (along with the product they recommend please!) can hide a multitude of sins. So really every guy should just get a copy of GQ and study up. Also keep in mind that most girls would rather be with an everyman who dresses well and writes sweet notes rather than a hot guy who whispers awkward PBR flavored come ons down your neck at the bar right before he sticks his hand somewhere you never invited him to.
Honestly I'd probably be uncomfortable if that happened. But it's dependedent on the person.
Am I the only one who's desperately hoping she sees the video and it works out?
Nope,
Hopeless romantics club rules:
#1 you don't talk about hopeless romantics
YES. the story must continue-
oh no see it happens to me now
@Vee Quilfe Huh interesting 👀
I was actually hoping she comments in here and and their story continues, then again what if it wouldn't have been a happy ending.....
You know
@@kimmietalks9632 aaawww, bless. Nice thought.
Just re-title this video "St. Paul airport bin-stacking girl, where are you?" and we'll make it viral
Narcs in Art TRUE 😂
AHHHH do it
Yeah
Ahaha... good idea
Omg - yes!! Find her!
This guy literally seems to be inside my head every time he opens his mouth
Were you wearing headphones?
@@greatwavefan397 very funny ... Ahem
INFJ-never thought I’d say I’m a hopeless romantic- met my now husband/soulmate on the west coast on the last day of a 3 day workshop. Grabbed lunch-and knew this was “the one” but felt like a complete nutcase thinking that, realizing he lived in SC & I in Fl & not knowing if he was even into me or just being polite because we got paired up in class. (turns out he felt the same, he’s just an INTJ). I cried leaving him from our non-date! We exchanged emails, got to know each other over 6 months. I visited him, he proposed, and we’ve been married 12 years! I got my one in a billion love story & soulmate! And I didn’t have to do all the horrible dating things! 😏 Thank God!
"He's just an INTJ" lmao relatable... yeah we don't show a lot of affection
😂
here you giving us all hope things will work out
I’m proud of you. But wow, that is a story! 💘 📧
Dude,I feel like crying, I'm so happy it worked out!!!😭😭😭You're blessed!!!
Psychological fact: The more you talk about the person to other people, the more you're attracted to that person. So it could be a life hack for us hopeless romantics. NEVER tell anyone about your crazy imagination!
Exactly!
I never gush to my friends about my crushes yet they still last for years lolll
@@butterbeer4582 I would never tell my friends if I had a crush xD
Sometimes when we say it out loud we understand how stupid it is. Tell your friends.
@@Luisa20cm that's why I always talk to myself
I was secretly hoping she would see this video, too!.....
relientkarwen
I Am hoping she sees this!
Be right back! I’ve a backflip to do!!
❤️,
A Dorothy In Kansas
A Freak In Red Mary Janes
Oh my gosh, YES!! I wish she would see this too!!
My thoughts exactly!!
Maybe one day 20 years from now, she will and they'll live happily ever after 😭😭
"I really enjoyed stacking bins with you, here's my number" hahahaha
"So call me maybe" lol
i would totally call him if i were her
Same I would call as well. Very silly and cute
@@melody8369
I won't mind stacking yours all day too 😄
Let's swap numbers though 🥳
"INFJ seizing the moment, watch out this may crash"
My life would never be made into a movie. I met a guy (an introvert), asked him out (I’m an extrovert), we had a wedding date picked out within a few months, even before we said I love you to each other. We just knew. We’ve been married for 18 years and I’m still just as mad about him as ever. I’m totally Sally Brown to his Linus.
This is an excellent movie!! So very romantic!! I want that!!!
You took the first step because he was introvert that is something great and now you are happily married good on you.
That's cute 🥺 hope you two last a lifetime!
Ahahah your sweet baboo, what does he know 😹 lovely comparison!
I'm an introvert, but the guy I'm interested in is a self-described "hermit." His sister also describes him as a hermit. Anyway, I find it very interesting that you asked out your guy. I keep seeing things that say that women shouldn't pursue men, and I'm so confused. I definitely made my interest in him known, but then I started seeing all these "women should not be the pursuers" things, so I quit. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you!
This is the INFJ:est story I've ever heard. Congrats on 100k Frank
👏
Hey i follow ur channel too. Glad to see u on here.
he is an Infp
I agree hahahha
What type are you, Lana?
Lmao so true
INFJ choosing a life mode:
Easy Mode? Nah...
Intermediate? Nope.
Hard? Getting hotter...
Critical? Almost...
Chaos? ✅
Oh yeah, in every aspect of life.
Ikr
100%
I feel called out and enlightened at the same time.
I cannot deny this.
Eight years ago, as my metro in paris stopped for twenty minutes due to technical issues, I could look at the fine young man in front of me. It was summertime, he was wearing sunglasses but i could see on the side that he had very beautiful blue eyes. I was wearing a lovely dress, but I was feeling ugly in it, because the boyfriend I had just left few days before had been insulting and abusing me for months. We left at the same station and whether he or me made the first move and asked the other what time is was is unclear. What I remember though, is that he told me "have a nice day" to which i responded "likewise" (réciproquement). Now, the metro station was a railway station (gare de Lyon) and I was going out on the left, whereas he was going up on the right. I looked at him proceeding to take the elevator, and walked away. Few seconds later, my arm is grasped gently and i hear him say "i just had to tell you that you are absolutely beautiful". To which i answered "...likewise!". That's all i managed to say. Sometimes I feel that it was so stupid and that we could have had the most beautiful love story. *Sigh* but I remember the feeling of happiness this special moment brought to my heart. I wish I could tell him that I remember this moment, and forever will...
OHMYGOSHHH!! WHAT A STORY!!O: (& ahh, you are pretty!!) ((:
The French are like that. The biggest flirts.
@goddessofaphoenixserpent if he was that keen he would have pursued her and got her contact details. He was flirting.
@goddessofaphoenixserpent I’m not trying to make anyone feel small. If she wants to indulge in a fantasy, so be it. I really am quite stunned by your personal attack on me, which doesn’t seem very “sensitive”.
@@MsElinorh he followed her up the stairs in the opposite direction he was heading so he could flirt for 2 more seconds turn around and go back the way he was originally heading?
Frank:
What did I have to lose?
Also Frank :
I lost her forever.
Frank: Stops story to go to “Commercial”
Me: Doesn’t see a commercial pop up.
Frank: Thanks for sitting through that!
Me: Sure. No problem...
Lol same. I pay to not watch commercials though so I've always assumed it just skipped.
Lol it popped up for me
That's happened several times for me, lol. However, this time I got a political ad I couldn't skip. Frank makes it worth it.
Hey it didn't show for me 😌
Lucky. I got a super annoying multi level marketing ad from some bros in a street ally using a white board.
"And kids..that was the first time i met your mother"
Heartbreaking story.
Let's hope that Frank James doesn't have a cringeworthy series finale.
Being an infj is basically the rational side and the dreamer side of you beating each other up for the rest of your existence... Spoiler, neither win 🙂
Are you dead?
@@anisasalah3399 no ;)
Just too relatable^^
Actually I fell in love with a guy whom I had met in Rome during a holiday and then by coincidence met again in front of the church of my community in Munich. He used to live 800km away from me. I screwed it the first time because I got scared and months later wrote a letter to him telling him I was still in love with him. He came to Munich to see me after that letter 1 week before he started his military service in Rome and that was the start of a relationship that lastet 8 years. It made me move to Italy and study there at university, travel to China to see him there after he got a scholarship for Fudan university. We are still good friends until today.
I don't know if I count as a hopeless romantic, but I think sometimes just taking the risk and going for something that seems impossible is worth it.
@em ! We realized that to stay together one of us had to give up his or her projects for the dream of the other one. We felt that wasn't fair and would have destroyed our relationship on a long term. I personally also felt I wasn't strong enough to live the kind of life he needed and when I told him he said he was willing to change for me, but that would have been like cutting the wings off him. I loved him the way he was. Love is about caring for the other one to live their potential and be happy, not to own them. Sometimes even if you love each other you understand that you're not the right partner for the other one.
Same here. I loved to Greece for a guy. Dont regret it.
That is just beautiful.
This is literally the plot of crash landing on you
“Being a hopeless romantic: Wanting to make your life as difficult as possible just to make a good story.” *Ted Mosby has entered the chat*
But he got her in the end...
After a million mistakes
I was thinking about him too 😁 What personality is this character in your opinion? Thanks
@@somebodysomeone453 he is an INFJ
@@air_mrkcac4921 thanks 😊
As an INFJ I would kill to have someone "pursue" me like this, you're incredibly brave
Unless they are a psycopath.
@@recoveringsoul755 Hey... Maybe that's why I always end up dating psychos. I have an actual theory about that and it's pathetic :D
Omg same!
@@heraclea9368 You're not far off, I believe INFJs tend to attract narcissists for that reason.
Im an a INFJ too so we all know what this feels like and IT HURTZ!!!!
This story is not pathetic, your a great guy with a good heart and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Whether you end up meeting her again or not I’m sure she’d be so grateful for your thoughtfulness making this video. Very few guys have a good heart, hopefully your future is filled with joy no matter the person it’s with. ❤️
I like your sweet message 😊
I agree. It's nice to know men go through the same things I do. I always think I overthink or ruin everything and no one notices me... in that scenario had I been the girl, I would have thought he didn't like me and felt dumb. It's sweet that he was just trying to build up the nerve and it's nice to have a window to that inner world.
He's beautiful inside and out c: he's a rare precious man 🌟💖🌟
I always test as an INTP but I, too, am a hopeless romantic. I had a similar moment in a hospital waiting room at 1am. Some guy walked by me to use the vending machine. He spoke first, mentioning how it was really late and I said yeah. We locked eyes like twice, and I fell in love. I was forced to leave suddenly by extraneous forces. The next day I told my grandmother that I found my future husband.
That was 9 years ago.
I never saw him again.
I've been mourning that loss ever since.
"And there was this... young woman."
ah shit, here we go again.
"Being a hopeless romantic is wanting to make your life as difficult as possible... if it would make a good story. " Ouch! You got me there!
Why don't you describe her.. Lol. I've had missed opportunities sucks!!
Laughed out loud at that line, Frank. Not at you, with you. I'm an INFP, cousin. ❤
Tough truth here for INFJs: Being a hopeless romantic is like sitting on a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere. Being a hopeless romantic is excusing your self from actually taking a chance at love. You ponder and think of the perfect love way too much. You prefer to analyze your affection for a potential lover than actually making a concrete effort to show it to them. It’s not enough that you just think of it or feel it. You need to actually do it; apply real action to it. The exciting and amazing love life you long for always happens inside your head. Never or rarely outside of it. An INFJ is a master of the spectacularly wonderful love life in theory. You know you’d be a great lover. But you just don’t wanna actually do it. You like to intentionally suffer to create an interesting story of love where you’re both the hero and victim. And that’s why you’re probably single. And likely fated to be perpetually alone and lonely until the day you actually do something about it-which, let’s be honest here, you’re too chicken to do. Sorry, but it’s true. You can deny all you want. You can analyze this and shred it to pieces. But you know it’s true. You can lie to others, but you can’t lie to your own self.
I have met several INFJs in relationships that appear to be going well. I suspect the biggest challenge for humans is sorting out their attachment pattern to being more secure.
I felt so attacked I almost cried 😂😂😂
Ouch haha i know I can't abandon myself.. but Its a hope that others will not. Rational fear🤷♀️🤷♂️
I'm an INFP and I'm the same! :(
23 y.o. and never had a boyfriend, even when I had a chance I was like "no, this is not it, this can't be my story". And I overanalyze perfect love in my mind :/ but don't go outside it lol
Marthella Shvedella I’m 22 and it’s the same for me. Although I don’t think I am an INFP or an INFJ. I had a chance with this girl in my sophomore year of high school but I had a hard time making friends in high school and my friend group saw her as weird. I developed feelings for her but I was too scared to pursue a relationship and ended up pushing her away and friend zoning her. I regret it and feel like a huge jerk to this day. This is actually the first time I’ve told anyone about this. I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone about it in real life but I’m relatively anonymous on the internet. So I thought I might as well get it off my chest on here.
when the security said ' it's not great here, why would you want a souvenir' would work as a great metaphor if this was a story. Love is not that great down here, why are we, the hopeless romantics still collecting its souvenirs.
You should write novels
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
This is so sad, Alexa play Despacito.
This is the comment I was looking for 😂✋😂
😂😂😂😂
Hey What are you?😆I freaking like you instantly 😂✌🏻
Great to see a man that is concerned with his emotions bcz a lot of men is unemotional and numbed by society's expectations. Thank you for being you
Dis is soooo true. I lack words to express how incredibly true this is 😅
I don’t think they’re unemotional, I’m not a man yet(I’m only a 15 yo boy) but from what I know, they are just numbed by society’s expectations as mentioned here but there’s still a lot more that goes in the mind. As, normally no one (who knows me well) might have thought that I would be able to relate to a video like this but I can. As many might not be showing their emotions and I am one of them.
@@lakshyapatil4372 xxTx?
@@Shadow77999 it’d be INFP.
@@lakshyapatil4372 You're very well spoken and insightful for your age.
Dude... this explains my whole life. Even my career choice lol. The funny part is, as soon as something you’ve dreamed about starts to become real, you start to see all the flaws and cracks and it loses its sparkle. I guess enjoying the little things in life is a skill we need to hone 😅
very true!
BR?
Mine too 😂
I had never thought it like that. It makes sense. Helps me come to terms with it. Falling in love with ideas instead of realities hurt.
Being a hopeless romantic is the worst because it's like all of us who are, are doomed to be alone forever.
So we go the extra mile, and then some.
And we're always rewarded with nothing.
While, at the same time, we see people who do zero effort and get everything WE dream off, but we'll never get. And that shit is so fkn depressing....
I just give up on romance
@@janettereelibaumann6990 are you an INFP? If so, giving up on romance?... .... Um ... Good luck with that because that's impossible xD romance is second nature to us infp's
We’re probably hopeless romantic‘s because reality is too boring for us. INFJ
ENTP here, same
It's either too boring, or too harsh.
Or maybe reality is too real for us.
is reality even real? -infj
yess
infj procrastinating still wondering about what would happen if you did something else in the situation
VERY RARE you’re so right
Yes this is so true
That's more so an XXXX thing AKA Everyone does it
Everyone does that😂 I'm an Intp btw
Oh my God this is me. Today, yesterday, everyday. Its paralyzing you just sit there and feel helpless. Still moving forward with other opportunities but nothing seems as delicate as a relationship..
Accurate... a guy months ago at the gas station said I had a cool credit card and can someone tell me WHY I STILL THINK OF HIM 😂😭🤦🏻♀️
Girl get over it cuz u might be missing out on people that are right infront of u thinking abt someone u met months ago...
@@sarahhamdan5470 I hope you’re not serious lmaooo
@@Candy00251 why lol?
😂😂 my sympathies
ahahahahahahahahahahah so cute!!
As an ENFP, I can't even count the number of times I've given people the impression of mutual attraction when it wasn't necessarily there 😬
OMG SAME
You ENFPs really gotta stop doing that. Treat all people equally like us INFJs :D
@@nospecialmeaning2 we do treat everyone equally. We just treat everyone like we love them 😅 or rather, people perceive friendliness as flirtation
and even your profile name is Notice Me Senpai 😂
@@putridles I see you noticed me 😏😉
I saw this happen, I was the bin
Hahaha
🤣🤣
I wrote a poem about this specific topic; in it I wrote:
"What they don't tell you about love at first sight,
It arrives for five minutes...
And it leaves you for all eternity".
i love it
Lol
"I'm not that in love with this girl" love it haha
Me, 23 years old, single, never had a kiss or a boyfriend before but I relate xD imlaughingthroughthepain
25... ☺️
E. VP oh my gosh what are we doing?
Lol same girl same. 23 as well! 😂
✋✋
25 and same here, I'll find my bin stacking girl someday 😂
INFJ: following my instincts!
"But you're deluded and irrational and this makes no sense."
INFJ: But, deep down, I know it to be right!
"But the sign literally said the other way..."
INFJ: perhaps my destiny will be shaped by this detour!
"Okay, well...I'm just gonna follow the signposts and rest my feet."
(3 hours later)
INFJ: Today wasn't the day.
This is so accurate I want to shoot myself in the eye. AKA when will I learn to trust my gut about doing stupid shit
Jajinkah Can confirm that INFPs are the same way
Me hahaha.
Today is the day! My adventurous soul and instincts will finally lead me somewhere great!
...Today was not that day...
Can't help but think of LOTR
"TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY"
anyone??
Lilly Dasher I don’t get this. I wasn’t like this. I’m not like this, I guess I don’t feel this flighty, or in love with love, or whatever. Hmmmm.
This reminds me of that one time I held the door open for a guy and he said "thanks" 🙈💕
😂 I get you
Lol
N Speaks thsi happened to me a couple months ago:>
I would hardcore blush but try to hide it by acting tough (infp here)
I think I’m feeling what you felt in that moment right now, lol. I totally get it 😂
The lesson you've delivered in this video, by talking about your own little experience, is just 👏
I am 21 year old INTJ female and I think I'm falling in love just by listening to this... I'm often cold but your feelings made me feel warm, not something many people are able to do. You don't know how handsome you are. I guess that makes you even more beautiful. I hope you see this comment...
*"it's not that great here, why would you want souvenirs?"*
😂♥️
😂😂😂
I mean 😂🤣
Maybe they collect suffering.
Yeaah, the man is a mood
“And then I made this TH-cam video and three days later she left a comment. The rest is history”
Exactly what I thought
that would be amazing 🥺
This is a very beautiful story.
Happened to Pewds and look at him now. All married and junk
And her handle will be shuntedbagofMinneapolissouvenirs
I would say "glad that shift is over. Wanna grab a coffee break?"
Actually I would say "I love you..." in hushed voice
That first line is pretty suave. Go with that one. ^_-
hahahahahahahahahahah NICE!!!!!!
Can't tell you how many times I've ruined my chances just by waiting for the right moment, which never came. And I never learn, I try to act as soon as possible but somehow I always find some excuse that makes me wait a bit longer. It didn't bother me so much until recently when I felt like I lost the woman I've been waiting for my whole life just because I didn't act soon enough and now she has found someone else.
We are infp/infjs. Life is hard for us.
trueee
You all make it hard yourself alright.
It's an NF thing in general
@@fanneeywp1895 no...
@@fanneeywp1895unconsciously yes
This makes me wonder if a stranger I was speaking to had secretly fallen in love with me and I was completely oblivious to it....
Same ..
Same but my self esteem is low enough to also debunk this tbh smh lol
if you’re good looking they probably have
@@katiewaity3413 that's mostly subjective
It's like you just made a video on an entire conversation I'd usually have in my head. How you worked out that pattern and then shared it with us is truly commendable. The end of the video is what I had on my mind all along!
This story resonates with me waaaay more than I’d like it to.
Cue dramatic music as Frank furiously scrolls through comments and likes hoping to find bin stacking girl 😭💜
Ahhh, that will be very exciting and frustrating at the same time. 😢 I hope he doesn't dwell on this, though 😇
🎻
🎼🎶🎵🎵
Truth, I actually did just that 😏
Frank, I completely understand where you're coming from. Being a hopeless romantic myself, it is so easy to get caught up the ideations of finding "the one."
Hope you don't mind, but I'd like to tell you a story.
About a year ago, I met a man online (who happened to be an INTJ), and it was pretty obvious from the beginning that we were a good fit for each other. We lived about 2.5 hours apart, but had great conversation, similar nerdy interests, crazy attraction, and wanted the same things for our future. He called me every night to ask about my day, and texted me every morning. It may sound silly, but we just clicked. He was constantly inviting me to certain activites he had planned, such as a friends wedding a few months in the future. And for those first few weeks, I could tell he was absolutely joyous in thinking he'd found the right woman. But, despite my feeling that way as well, I didn't let myself get too excited until we met in person. I had a few insecurities at the time, in particular, I was worried that once he actually met me in person, he would be disappointed somehow. And besides, I didn't want to give into that feeling of elation without knowing it was the real thing.
After about a month of getting to know each other, he calls me up and said that he was going to call in sick to work the next day and drive to my city so that we could meet in person. So, we met for coffee at a local bookshop, and I don't know if I can accurately describe how nervous I was meeting him for the first time. All the various "what ifs" running through my mind were making the time drag on all day.
But finally, it was time. We met, face to face, and even though I generally have a horrible memory, I can still picture the expression he had when he saw me for the first time. It was something of pure joy, the culmination of a deep hope finally realised with a smidge of relief. We instantly hugged and started talking, and when he later drove back to his hometown, he continued to call me every night and text me every morning. And it was then that I finally allowed myself to get excited, to get caught up in the thought of my deepest dream becoming reality.
But over the next few months, his nightly calls turned into every other night, then every few days, then here or there, sporadically, usually just when he wanted something. We played an online game together, one of our many shared hobbies, and would talk in the in-game communication channel, but I could tell it wasn't the same. I could tell something had changed on his end. Over the course of a few months, we had made plans to travel and see each other, usually for a weekend or something. But each time he would find a reason to cancel, saying we should wait and not rush into anything, and that we should spend more time getting to know each other. We still spoke to each other almost every day, but it was in an online community with other people, less so often one on one.
Eventually, about four months had passed since we had met that first time in person, and I called him to see if he was coming into town for Christmas (his parents just so happened to live in the same city as I did). He said he was, and we agreed to meet for coffee again. We met the morning of Christmas Eve, and I had baked some cookies and brought a present for him. We hung out for about an hour at the coffeehouse, and during that interaction had the same intellectual conversation and crazy sexual tension that we had on our first coffee date. He stayed very close to me and awkwardly found ways to hug me several times, and at one point reached out to pull away some hair that had blown in my face, in a very sweet, protective manner. And when we departed (which was due to me needing to go to a friend's Christmas party), he seemed as hopeful and eager as he had the first time we'd met. He even winked at me as he got into his car and left. And then, about twenty minutes later, he called to thank me for his present, and tried to pull me into more conversation.
For the next month or so, it was the same as it had been initially. He called me almost daily, just excited to speak with me. But slowly it disappated again. And about two weeks before Valentines Day, he stopped talking to me altogether, apart from group conversation through our pc gaming. By the end of March, he had left our guild (he had actually been kicked out by the guild leader for being a little aggressive towards other players), and by then I had changed my number and initiated a doorslam in order to block out him potentially hurting me any further. According to our guild leader, he had later asked about me and tried to contact me afterwards. He actually managed to send me an email in-game asking if he had done something to offend me, but when I tried to respond, I couldn't, as he had apparently blocked me out too.
And now, almost six months after all that happened, for some reason I still think about him. I have been on dates with other men, but to no avail. I've yet to find that same chemistry we once had with anyone else.
I've been able to let it go, thankfully, but for a while, it just kept bothering me. I mean, in all reality, we never actually dated. I know how much he was clearly into me, and I remember well the mutual attraction we shared, but for some reason, he just didn't want to take it to the next level. I later found out from my guild leader that he did not want to move away from his city, because he had worked to build a life there. But I wish he had told me that, because I certainly would have been willing to move if he had turned out to be the one. But for some reason, he didn't.
In any case, the reason I'm telling you all this is to resonate just how ruthless that hopeless romantic side of our psyche tends to be. This man had given me plenty of reasons to believe that he was interested in me at that level, and even though I hesitated giving into it at first, I surely felt the same. What confused me though was why I suddenly felt such pain six months after ceasing to be in his life. And after several nights of an odd, sorrowful depression and classic overthinking, I came to the realization that I was simply in mourning. But it wasn't the actual physical man I was missing, but the hopeful ideation of what I thought our life would be together. It was a major dream that I had lost, and it hurt. And yes, I do still miss his company in a way, but I miss the man he presented to me. Rather, I miss being in love with the man I thought he was. Which is all my fault, because I let my mind grow it into something it wasn't. And therefore I messed it up. Now I realise that I don't really miss him, per se, I just miss the potential I thought we had. And in a way, I lost him forever.
As Tolkein once said, it's a dangerous business, going out your door. If you don't keep your feet, theres no telling where you might be swept off to.
And frankly, thats the biggest problem I have with online dating anyway. You see a profile and immediately project this ideal onto it. And once you meet that person, no matter how great they are, you're naturally disappointed, because no one is ever going to live up to the ideal you've made in your head. That's just not going to happen.
And in retrospect, I think that's what happened between us. We both got so carried away by our imaginations, that we missed the reality of each other. We both wanted to build our future so much that we ignored the practicality of making it work.
I'm not saying to give up on being a hopeless romantic, because it is not a bad thing. But just as I should have trusted my hesitancy in the beginning of meeting this man, I advise you to learn to set a boundary within yourself. Not necessarily to never let anyone in, but to wait and make sure your hopeless romantic side has adequate room to come to fruition. Because love stories are real, but need to be real.
And to be honest, I still think about how I could make it work with him, if he were willing. I've been with other men who would be "simple" or "easier" to be involved with, but it wouldnt be the same. It wouldn't be the kind of story I want or it wouldn't have been earned. And despite my eagerness to find a lifelong mate, I refuse to settle.
Sorry for rambling on, but I hope this story resonated with you. And I hope you are able to find what you're looking for one day.
As always, love your videos and your continued devotion to helping other INFJs having a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Thank you, Frank, for all you do. Take care ❤
P.S. I just listened to your "why you're single as an INFJ" video and am laughing my ass off. The struggle is real.
Read nearly the whole thing but out of topic how did u get a chance to date that much guy i amm 19 and not pretty plus a little fat plus too shy and lack of confidance i never flirted with the guys that ı like dunno how to flirt ı always run away from them.you must be pretty and they come to you when you are a teenager ı guess ı wannt to find my soulmate but no one told me" ı have a crush on you"i never tell them either even at kindergarden sad being ugly and socialy anxietic.i mean how do this all happened
I just read your comment, I'm an INFJ and lived a similar experience with an INTP I had met online. I admire the hesitancy you had at first, the way you wanted to wait to meet in real life before letting yourself go, I wished I did the same. Idealisation, you are right, that's the key word... I had idealised him so much that I forgot about the actual realness of him and of our situation. That's why I felt disappointed when we met in real life, unlike you, I didn't feel the attraction I believed I had. I felt so deeply connected to him though, undestood for the first time, and really cared for him, that's why it was hard to let him go. I warned
myself to never get caught up online stories ever again, I think they are unhealthy when you have a tendency of idealising too much. I do find it easier though to talk to people on the internet, I guess that's the same for a lot of people as well. Thank you for sharing your story, I felt a little bit less alone (I could relate to a lot of the things you mentioned, for example your gaming routine together), I hope I was able to explain myself in english, I am italian.
"To be together you have to be together"...meaning in the same place. My quote right there.
The internet / on-line dating, have made what used to be unnatural situations seem possible. I think it's important to keep these ideas in mind to avoid getting unnecessarily hurt. Of course people can relocate to make things happen, but that is a tremendous undertaking.
Thank you for sharing your story. It was gut-wrenching and made me very sad. I guess my comment, me being an INFJ, was an attempt to help you protect yourself.
😭
"But it wasn't the actual physical man I was missing, but the hopeful ideation of what I thought our life would be together. It was a major dream that I had lost, and it hurt. And yes, I do still miss his company in a way, but I miss the man he presented to me. Rather, I miss being in love with the man I thought he was. Which is all my fault, because I let my mind grow it into something it wasn't. And therefore I messed it up. Now I realise that I don't really miss him, per se, I just miss the potential I thought we had. And in a way, I lost him forever."
That's totally me too. How to find a reality that is worth committing to? It never lives up to our dreams--does that mean we need to let go of our dreams or the reality? I've tried to be "practical" and settle, but I can never quite convince myself to.
when he said " I hope it's one you like" , talking about the ad. My ad was of hormonal weight gain.
Aaahahha mine was for Tampax. 😝
Mine was mr clean 😂
Mine was funny, because there was none lol
@@anghelacarloman3908 Plot twist: It was so fast, you didn't understand it.
Being an INFP and getting the “manic pixie dream girl” cinema trope result from a quiz AND being a hopeless romantic, I feel this in my soul.
I was wondering if the purpose of this whole video was to try and reach out to her, then you came out at the end and confirmed it :D.
I think you're a hopeful romantic.
I can relate to this “hopeful romantic” type! And I agree that FJ is one for sure!! Just keep trying... reach out and we get tripped up on being suave in the moment but honestly is always the slightly uncomfortable that seems most honest and relatable for me! So never be too afraid of saying the wrong thing! Which is what always stops me from talking to an attractive person! But can you imagine if that fear was wiped away?! That would be great and it would make for such a more honest and loving world!! We can get there! 🍀
@@shaunrussell4558 this has nothing to do with FJs... but some wise advice from a former FBI Hostage Investigator says be curious. Your curiosity will trump all your fears. Makes a lot of sense!
I agree with the Tsadik, Hopeful.
The bad news is, a what if is a never was. The good news is every step taken is preparation and knowledge needed for the next dance steps.
Our lives change in the very moment we say Yes or No.
@@misskat7437 That's a Really cool idea! Thank You!
@@wingwaves940 your welcome. =-)
“Being a hopeless romantic is wanting to make your life as difficult as possible” Never heard a more accurate description haha
If it would make a good story 😆
Exactly, that's what I'm doing 😂
And it never ends like the romance books. Never ever ever ever.
I feel something there I think as a child we feelers are more sensitive than most kids and have more emotional needs from parents. If rejected emotionally you go on thinking you have to fight for it and go a looong difficult way about getting love acceptance etc.... I think that is where we become like that in romance.
@@healingandgrowth-infp4677 so true!!
Haha xD sooo accurate. Being a hopeless romantic myself for my entire life I recognize myself 100% in everything Frank says. It´s eerily scary how much truth there is in his words.
Whether you're look for a high romance or a simple and straight forward story. In the end, it doesn't matter because what matters is how the situation will turn out. And I think moral of the story is that we people just have to learn and accept the fact that some things don't work out and lasts then you move on. A failed chance won't be a failure if you've grown and learned from it.
OMG I've never felt more understood. I do this with every attractive person I meet. I think hopeless romantics are in love with the idea of being in love. LOVE with caps. Love in movies, in Jane Austen books, a love that's earned and a love thats meant to be. It's sad and it causes us lots of pain but I'm sure it'll be woyth ir once we find out person.
Oh Frank, I feel you. It takes me like a minute to fall in love with a stranger in the underground. It’s just that in my head I start imagining what that person might be like and how happy we can be together (dammit introverted intuition!)
I really hope she sees this video, it would feel like a romcom story 🤧
Sometimes it’s hard being introverted intuition...
I may or may not have introverted intuition but I 💯 relate. It’s like I’m watching every stranger hoping, is this the one?? 😭🙈
This happens to me all the time. It´s exciting at first, but it hurts when they get off the bus/train/subway and it feels like you´ve missed the chance to connect with your soulmate. Even though I realize I know nothing about the person I can´t help feeling that way. I currently have a crush on a girl I´ve seen every day for the past 3 weeks on my commute to work. I know that each day might be the last time I see her, but I can´t bring myself to approach her on the bus on the fear of making her uncomfortable.
This once happened with a tutor and I might not see him ever again. If only he could read my feelings, then I wouldn’t feel like a hopeless romantic.
@@erikbjrnyolsen9694 I've had the same scenareo and I've missed it. And I deeply regret it.
Let's have a look at the options:
So you if you do nothing, you will lose her.
If you'd talk to her and she likes you back - perfect.
If you talk to her and she doesn't like you back
Well... then you know that she wasn't the one, you can still talk to her better version in your head right? XD
It's not like you have something to lose, just to stay neutral (without her,like before) or gain something great. :D
Just be yourself
Maybe PewDiePie will lend you his army of 9 year olds to track her down?
Stephen Stinson 😂😂😂
He'll have eyes all over the country
Ready for service 🙋🏻♂️ haha
nine year old ready to scout :D
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
This has been the moat relatable video I've seen and I never understood why i play out movies in my head while I'm doing stuff, meeting people, why I am so dramatic, and BOOM is makes sense.
I mean, I won't take this video and just label myself but it is certainly a place to start and reflect and just kinds see in a new perspective how crazy I am in this way.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Thank you for this video, I'm a hopeless romantic INTJ-A. 🤦😂
My most favourite quote about this issue was from Catherine Breillat:
"I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because 'romantic' doesn't mean 'sugary.' It's dark and tormented - the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can't attain."
She was TOTALLY giving you an opening! She actually gave you THREE...the 2-hours comment, sitting there by herself (she was giving you an opportunity to come talk to her) and a last-ditch effort by talking to you again before leaving. I know it's 2020 and all, but a lot of women still feel like they aren't supposed to make the first move, so they may try to make it easy for you to approach them, but they won't go so far as to make the first move themself. Maybe that's just me? I don't think it's just me. The point of all this awkwardness is to tell you that next time you think you might be getting signals from someone, don't let your infj overthinkiness stop you from giving it a shot. You never know, right?
Christa 777 that’s totally true. Especially if she happened to be an introvert ....I would’ve probably done the same if I was interested in a guy
👏👏👏👏👏
Not to mention that NO ONE could resist those beautiful blue eyes!!! She definitely was hoping he’d ask her for coffee!
Yes absolutely. When I like a guy I do not let him know I am far too shy
Introvert here, but yes; women will also show signs.
I think you're underestimating the romance of less "exciting" stories. I married someone who went to the same high school as me, but we didn't know each other because we were three grades apart. We met after we'd both finished school through a mutual friend, became friends, became best friends, and fell in love. It's not romantic movie exciting but I love thinking about how often we must have walked past each other and never even known. Everyday stories can be romantic too, and there is nothing more romantic than marrying your best friend. 😊
Aww! Absolutely. I will always be a romantic at heart, but am also so over thinking it needs to all make me so high too. Fireworks and explosions don't have to be going off while a brass band plays in the background anymore. I think the higher someone makes you feel, the less sustainable long term the relationship will be. I've learned that a slow burn is better. Honestly, I'd give up ever feeling that high again if I could replace it with a proper, stable, non roller coaster relationship.
I can agree with this! I know my SO from high school but never got to talk to him. One day, he reached out to me and flirted, but I just felt lucky that he was attracted to me and I felt the mutual attraction, as though we’ve known each other for a long time.
I feel like it doesn’t matter how exciting a romance story can be, but is probably how we imagine the relationship would unfold.
😊
Aaawww, yeah ☺❤
Yes I love normal and healthy stories better ✨🙏
I've done this several times in college. So glad I'm not the only one who does this.You're brave putting this out on youtube but I commend you.
It's a high risk, high reward strategy. It happens with entrepreneurs and artists. I can see the appeal.... that is only be because I am one too! And yes I am an INFP... so I feel this on every level!
Now you can watch your own video on "How to get over a crush" XD
Lol yaas!
😂😂😂
It's hardest for me when there's no ending to the story, no closure.
@@DrVein make your own closure... 🤗🤗🤗 by accepting what is and deciding that you will do your best to move forward.
"I used to want to change the world, now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity"
-Shortbus
I want cry because of how true this is 😭
Ahhh! Everything you said is how I tend to live! Why do I always choose story over stability!
Romance is hopeless but being a hopeless romantic makes a person hopeful for romance.
Haha I love that
Yes. This is brilliant.
Poetic
Literally all of FJ’s female subs:
“HAVE NO FEAR, IT IS I, BIN STACKING GIRL!” 👀👀
😂😂😂
frank james? more like austin ames
That’s what I was thinking!
😂😂😂😂😂
Such conflict between reason and feeling. Maybe one day someone will come along where both align?
I'm rooting for ya man. Just be you, you're the best you there is.
The hopeless romantic in me needs for you and “bin stacking girl” to get together. ❤️
Creating the perfect love story and not acting on it, then being disappointed when it never happened.
Sounds about right.
Dangit infj
I wish you both a great healthy relationship AND a great story! Thank you for sharing this so openly
Frank, you are such a great story teller! 😀
Ok but im from minnesota and Im sharing this to a makeup group based in minnesota and im gonna try and help you find your girl lol
are you an esfj or something?? :D
Ur so sweet
What would really be awesome is if someone who worked in airport security at MSP would see this video, look at the security tapes and find out the name of the girl who was at the security gate moving bins with FJ. They may not be able to get a number for her, but the address is on her driver's license - an airport person could write a letter or something on FJ's behalf (obviously they can't give the address to FJ directly without her approval for security reasons). With all of this technology in the world, FJ's possible future bride can be tracked down!
Yes, I am a super hopeful romantic (and a nerd - so there ya go).
@@BurgundyandBlue1111 I think that might be a little illegal.
@@jeremysmith9694 Not if she is contacted by the airport. They reach out to people who have left something all of the time. Now giving the address to FJ without her express permission, that is definitely illegal and I would surely advise against that.
You're beautiful
You're beautiful it's true
I saw her face
In a crowded place
And i don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you
Haha
Hurts but it's true
I LOVE THAT SONG. haha such an INFJ song.
Pft HAHAHAHA
@@learning.growing.1017 More like INTJ; we regret such decisions less.
I was confused for a second and a little creeped out but then I remembered that this was a song and that you weren’t speaking to Frank tehe
Woah? I fell in love with this guy I just saw once in an amusement park. I felt like he was my ideal guy who came alive. Ive imagined a lot of things about us but that was the first and last time I saw him. Lol. Never forgotten him though.
Iv'e never realized I actually relate to this. Thank you for you honesty!
Oh I would do anything for love...
But I won’t GoToGateG 🎶
Cool Meatloaf reference. Cheers!
Should be a t-shirt about that
😭😭😭😭 Lmaooo
😂😂😂
💕😂🤣😂💕
I would call the movie 'Binned Romance - Stacked Against Us' 😭
Wow that's good
Haha!
hahaha
Lol, good one.
*WOULD WATCH.*
Oooh, I so relate. Yes, I know how deep it goes. Most of my life has been spent thinking about the improbable, the "what if this happened" scenario. At least you pursued the idea and took some action, many would not have. I am new here but feel at home already, thank you
So relatable. I had this long distance relationship and I really enjoyed the roller coaster of emotions, feeling something towards another person, but at the same time even though things were alright I ended up creating problems eventually
And all the IxxJs are like..... yo we can find her lol
lol
I'm not sure about ISTJs in this case :)
Or all the xNFxs lolol
We can... 💪🏼
😆
Honestly, I’m so glad I’m not the only person like this.
yeah,we're not alone
Very insightful. I have often sought out the hardest things because I felt I needed to push myself to grow.
off topic on this year and a half old video, but this is the first time I've seen where you set up for a commercial break and it *actually* went to a commercial, perfect timing. So satisfying, I had to comment about it
This is the cutest and sweetest story I've ever heard. I'm an ENFP so my spontaneous and extroverted self would have totally gotten coffee, chatted you up, and told you about that one time I drove to Canada after work because I was bored and that other time I made friends with a Middle Eastern taxi driver during my vacation in NYC. 😂😂😂😂
It's not any weirder than falling for a TH-cam guy who doesn't even know you exist and then confessing it on the comment section for all to see....
Awkward 😆
Right?! It's like, why can't I find a cute funny admitted-neurotic guy in real life? I guess they all just sit in their rooms and make TH-cam videos.
Not mad at you sis, at all.
I know, right?
The sooner you realize that Frank is an adorable raging narcissist, the sooner you'll find a nice guy to love.
commendable just how vulnerable you chose to be on here with this narration!
This is me. Thank you for describing me to myself. I couldn't see it that clearly before. SO MANY TIMES I DID THIS!!! Meet girls on trains, correspond with them, travel long distances to see them...
Romantic stories = fun memories. I met my husband on yahoo chat England and I am in CA. 5000 miles away, yet I found a way to fly to meet him in person (long dramatic story). Saw him for the first time from across the airport...just like a film we locked eyes.... oh man...Should I write a screenplay? 😏😆
ps. Still married 15 years later. Don’t ever change Frank. 🤗
Oh God, as an INFP, I hope how fast my imagination for an unattainable love life is the same how my brain will work when I write my essays. Lol.
So raw, so real 👏🏼