There are so many words, but I’ll leave it at this….. we love you Jake! Thank you for showing your authentic self and can’t wait to see the true Jake and you living your best life! ❤
@@jakeeldridgeIt takes a lot of courage to be who you are: an authentic, honest,wise and brave “old soul “ I believe you help & inspire more people than you ever thought 🤗
Jake first and foremost I am proud of you ! I am proud of you for coming out so you can be who you truly are, I am proud of you for having the courage to come out ! Those who left you were not meant to go to the altitude and places you will go in life but those of us who love you for you will always stand by your side no matter what. Also for what it’s worth as a gay man myself I am proud of you for coming out at a young age as I am 32 now and for 31 years of my life I was closeted and not living to be who I truly was ! Just know you have so many of us who are behind you fully and always will be ! NOW keep your head up and go be YOU and don’t apologize for nothing because we are who we are and will always be !! Much love Jake 💙🫶🏻 !
This is why I'm still on social media, finding true people I can relate too. I'm also very private and not one too leave comments but here it goes (hopefully not a long ramble) I have held back, kept my self restricted and watched myself around others, weather it was out of respect or fear but I also try not to have any regrets or resentment on any of my pass decisions. I've always been the type to plan ahead but with what I experienced, it really is day by day because you never know how the next day is going to effect your life. I felt this video, so many feelings and I hope for nothing but strength and love for you bud❤❤❤
You're right & that's a beautiful sentiment. But there are those us who feel that being a teenager is supposed to be one of *the* happiest times in your life. (I was literally told this by my grandmother one day before school, "This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life & you're miserable") You're supposed to be discovering & embracing yourself & living a life relatively unburndened by adulthood while simultaneously preparing for it. It's supposed to be a time of fun. But instead, for some of us, it was a non-stop slog of a 24/7 charade where we have to play a caricature of ourselves to feel safe while everyone else grows & has fun. Money can but alot of things but it cannot buy time & milestones lost. This is why someone posted on Twitter (and it got 20,000 likes in two days) "The reason gay men act like teenagers in their 30s is because our teenage years weren't ours to live."
I came out to my family in the 70’s when I was 17 years old. Lived in a very rural area where homophobia flourished. Played football in high school and was totally closeted. Was closeted in the Air National Guard for 7 years. I left the Guard as I was fed up with the homophobia, misogyny, and politics. From that point on I was totally out. Being in the medical field made being out and gay tolerable. I never thought I could and would get married in my lifetime. Today, it is easier to be out, but not completely devoid of discrimination or prejudice. I just know from the experiences of others and myself that it gets immensely better with time. I wish the same for you. Thanks for sharing your story and the emotions that go with it. Some man is going to sweep you off your feet and capture your heart. And you will do the same to him.
Just found this video and your channel today. Thank you for sharing your story. You are brave! You didn't waste a lot of your life. I just came out at almost 28, and I'm excited about this new chapter where I can be myself. You have a lot to look forward to.
You are an inspiration. Keep the faith, brother! You have a marvelous life ahead of you. Don’t ever lose sight of that fact. It was my experience over many years that as you progressively come out to more and more people, it’s as if a weight is lifted off your shoulders. Hang in there! You’re going to be fine.
Courage is your strength - cherish it. I’m 62 and can assure you there will be more ups and downs but stay true to yourself. And keep laughing - it’s the best elixir.
Me and my husband have been together for 45 years. It can be done... Many of my (other gay couple) friends have been together since the early eighties. Just try hard to be yourself, no matter what other folks think. Stay strong.
Jake, thanks for sharing your story with us! You have no idea how much courage you have shown by sharing and posting your story on this venue!! Kudos to you, and please keep sharing. I look forward to future posts.
You did not waste 19 years of your life. You did what you had to do, or thought you had to do, to make you happy. You MIGHT have some regrets about your high school times, in the future. Don't let those regrets bog you down. After hearing these stories, I'm so proud of who you are, and what you've been. Keep on keeping it real.❤
This was so beautiful. You are wonderful and kind. You make the world better. You give me hope. And your Christmas tree is lovely too. Stay strong. Be happy. Be you.
I loved this story. I’m currently a 17 year old junior in high school and completely understand everything you went through. Being a “retired” varsity hockey athlete, it was so hard being my authentic self. I basically had to fake who I truly was, similarly to you. To be completely honest, I’m still terrified to officially come out, my whole family is religious and neither my town or school is necessarily accepting. I feel like people might suspect I’m gay, but who knows at this point🤷♂️ Thankfully, someone came into my life this year who made me feel comfortable, allowing me to come out to her, despite me still being terrified of what people may think of me after I come out. This video gives me hope though, hopefully by the time I go to college I can feel comfortable to be who I really am🥹💕
Same with me. Same story. I waited to come out until I was 24 and out of college. I wanted to be my own independent man before I told my folks who were supporting me and paying for my college. I knew their opinions don’t matter once I make my own way in the world. My dad is a preacher. They accept me now. We just don’t go into details about my dating / social life. Lmk if you have any questions or want any advice.
It's hard to admit it but it gets easier. I was outed at the end of my freshmen year. I am finishing up my last high school year of hockey now. I got lucky with my team. They will protect me (I'm the goalie) and they know who I am on the inside. Senior year is such a breeze unless you got concussions like me lol. Enough about me. You will find people who will have your back. It takes time. I'm still figuring things out but I have people to guide me. Note that your identity matters and stay true to yourself. I prob been in your place before in hockey locker rooms and heard the same things. I grew resilience which is the best virtue I learned so far. Reading your story made me feel emotional and I had to type smth (1st time I did this too lol) Thank you and I wish the best of luck!!!
@@travismodzelewski21 cute but try being bi sexual in Africa , you see the whole support structure hockey team protecting you thats a fantasy here people hate you for being anything else than straight , lve had people i dont even know telling me i have homosexuality demons and that i will corrupt other kids .... also i wasnt wanted in the soccer team never played soccer in my life , some family memebers also dont like the way i act or talk its literal hell on earth for me and the worst part is day by day it gets worse .I wish i hav what u have at the moment cause i cant even make a friend thats how sad it is .
A big shout out to you, for being your true self. Now the hardest thing is done, and now your life really begins 😊 I’m so sorry to hear that you had such a hard time, and got sick, do to stress and anxiety. Please surround yourself with people who only want all the good for you and who loves you no matter what ❤ And if people can’t accept you for who you are, please keep them out of your life, so they don’t poison your life 🙏 Lots of positivity, love, hugs and peace from Denmark ❤
I am enjoying watching your videos. The older you get, the more you will care less about what others think of you (while also realizing how infrequently they do think of you). Years ago I adopted this phrase - “Your opinion of me is none of my business.” It serves me well! 😊
Jake, you are amazing, so brave, and so strong. I've been following you for a while and I've been so proud to watch your journey. It hurts my heart to hear all of the struggles that you've gone through. You don't know anyone an explanation and it warms my heart to know that you're able to do things you truly enjoy now. I totally understand you on the UC too - I have Crohn's and it sucks. Glad to know there's someone else who gets that :) Sending all my love
God bless you Jake, I feel your pain. Growing up in the 1970’s was no picnic….i still feel the pain. But enough about me. Please be yourself, grow and continue to be the best you can be. Remember a smile and kind word goes a long way. We never know what is happening with the other person we are talking with. May you have the best life, and I hope you will find a wonderful person to be by your side!!!!
This was real and perfect and made me cry 😭. I like this format too aside from vlogs where you just talk and have a dialogue. I’ve been out for less than a year and I’m 27 and seeing your videos really gave me courage and you’re only 19! You are some brave guy! You deserve to be happy and yes it really does suck at times and it’s tough but it just makes you that much of a tougher person. We need good role models in our community and I can’t wait to see what’s ahead for you!!
This is incredible! Young people struggling need to watch this and know it’s ok to be their true selves. It does get better. You are enough. Waiting to read your book! Thank you! ❤
Awhh Jake 😭 I want to give you a big hug and hold you and tell you it’s all going to be ok! But you know this because you’re already living your best life! ❤️
I also totally understand the “hook up” culture and wanting that real authentic genuine connection that is very absent in the community. It totally sucks. And the unrealistic beauty standards. It’s just a long list of things.
This video definitely hit close to heart for me. I felt some of the things you went through, and I’m so happy to see you embracing your true self! Love the song-definitely adding it to my playlist.
Awww I just want to hug you 💙😥 I'm so happy you can live your life for you now, its never too late to come out, I'm still struggling as well whenever I meet new people I'm afraid of what their reaction would be, sadly this world isn't fully accepting as we should be, I hope everyone can just eventually live their life without being afraid and everyone can be comfortable and accepting no matter who you are. All the best to you Jake 💙💙 also I love your Christmas display and outfit!
You are so incredibly emotionally intelligent and such a beautiful human being. You dont have to be part of a 'culture', just be you. And wait for someone who deserves you. You are a light in a world that can be very dark. Don’t let anyone extinguish your light. God bless you. Sending you love.💙
Oh Jake! I just want to hug you. I was diagnosed with crohns disease in 1997 and hide who I was until 1999. As soon as I came out, the crohns went into remission. Be who you are. You are beautiful! You are not alone. Take care and continue to provide us with great videos. ❤
This video popped up in my recommended. Having those strict religious environments growing up really does leave a lasting impact. I came out to my family when I was 19, and while I didn't have that super macho environment adding extra pressure to conform, my entire sense of what's right and what's wrong has shackled me for so many years. But it's really inspiring to see you openly and unashamedly share a piece of your story with us. I know you'll be very popular with the boys, so take care and keep your head on your shoulders. Best of luck on your new journey--the future is bright!
Jake: Your story is so so much like my own. I don’t know how to get in touch with you but my heart goes to you. Would love to chat with you somehow. But if we don’t connect, you’re on the right path. My only advice is to know, accept and love yourself. When you do, you are fully free to love someone else. Passion is my favorite word too. Much love.
I came out in Jan at 35. I could not keep lying. Since I came out I am exactly what you said, doing everything I couldn’t do while in the closet because I feel like I’ve waste so much of my life. Since coming out it’s been an amazing year, & I hope everyone can find the courage to do so. Love you Jake proud of you for coming out.
Hey man, I’ve been following you for about a year or so and just wanna say I’m so happy you’re able to live your true authentic self now! This really inspired me because even though I came out 5 years ago, I still feel that I’m not the most connected to the community and find myself hiding this part of myself in certain situations. Thanks for showing me it’s cool to be proud of who you are unapologetically! ❤❤
Even now, we can hear the pain in your voice, see how you hold back the tears. WE are with YOU. WE understand YOU. YOU are safe with US. I was forced out in 1977 when I was 17 in high school in southern rural Illinois. I survived. You will, too. No one should have to deal with all of what you have, but that is not the world in which we live. Please know that now you get to be your own true self. You have started your journey to setting yourself free. None of your life is wasted. It's part of who you are and if - if - you've learned from it and grown as a person ... then you've accomplished so much! You're right that gay people have a loyalty test when we come out. People do leave. You are so brave and strong. I love how you've shared your emotions. YOU DO NOT NEED TO STOP CRYING. I wish you the very best as you grow in your journey!
Jake, you've been through an incredible amount of pain. You are now coming to terms with your life. I want to say one thing: You have your whole life before you. Live your life to the fullest.
Do not regret what you were living before, it was part of you growing up and you will be even better because of those growing years.Those years were the foundation of your character and self. Now you have started a new phase of life and you will still have to learn and grow all the rest of you life. Never stop growing and be better.
Jake.... I came out at 36, so don't beat yourself up. I lost many who needed for me to fit into their definition of who I should be, and it hurt... Until I realized that they didn't actually love ME, but only the person they wanted me to be. The replacement friends became true friends... And, those who stayed showed me that they loved me no matter what, and that was a revelation (because I was trying to be "right" for people before, and they loved the core of who I was). You be authentically you without regret.
I understand 😢 gosh, so much of your story is my story. We share one thing deeply in common, I’ve never been that hookup guy. Probably why I’ve been single for so long. Like you, I don’t love 1/2 way, when I’m in, I’m all in. Tbh, for most people that just scares them. I wish I could have met you 30-40 years ago. Growing older alone is a bitch… but I’m hoping you will find someone who loves as passionately and completely as you and that it will be for a lifetime! Thanks for sharing your story.
You have Incredible insight for your youth. Keep being your authentic self and thank you for sharing your journey. Your parents must be very proud of you. I know I would.
I am so glad I found your video tonight. My heart goes out to you and I completely understand what you are saying. I've been living a lifetime of what you are saying. I'm so happy you found your voice and you are so open and honest. I can understand and feel your tears, they are what makes you so relatable. I just found someone who is finally helping me realize I have to be honest about who I am in order to find happiness. Thank you for your honesty and compassion. I am going to be watching for more of your videos. I pray you find real happiness in your life. ❤
You have not wasted a second of your life. It got you to where you are today with the lesson that you must live every day as though it may be your last. Don’t waste time on the toxic. You have a beautiful sout. Now is your time to shine! Go for it!❤
Great vid, Jake! Coming out is an amazing process. It is both an emotionally strengthening and vulnerable condition. With coming out, you will never feel stronger, it is power no one can take away. And that's saying a lot, especially for a toughened footballer like yourself. Follow your dreams, live your life, and be happy with all the spoils (like true love) that honesty and truth bring,
I was raised in S. Texas and my gay cousin attended a Christian school. Really f’d him up. So I understand. I didn’t come out until I was 27 (in the 70s). My husband and I have been together 45 years. You’ll find the man of your dreams. But don’t be in a rush. You just came out. Have some fun!!
Proud of you - you are free and you got time to figure yourself out and then try to get what you want from life ❤ - Texas and Florida are definitely not the easiest places to grow up either so I can see why you were “hiding yourself” to avoid hate.
Clearly, you are an amazing person; you certainly have my respect. Keep being happy. Yeah, there's still a lot of crap out there, but please don't let it mess you up. Truly awesome video. Thanks! Had to subscribe.
Let all the chaff fall away! It is the gift of clarity. You are an amazing guy Jake! You’re going to be better than fine! Here if you ever need me! Anytime!
Hello Jake, I'm a Black 61-year-old man who came out at 18 in Los Angeles while going to USC. I totally understand what you went through . I always say you must love yourself before you love someone else. Good luck in the future and take care! Sam
I understand exactly what you are sharing about your life. Ive been through somewhat of the same thing. Just be yourself and people will love you for being you baby. Ive been out now 35 years and have enjoyed a life happy, joyous and free❤
Congratulations on your coming out story Jake!! I'm sure it's a very chaotic and scary and welcoming time. Just choose your community carefully and you should be fine. There are so many amazing people in the world, especially in the Northeast corridor!!!! :)
I went through the same thing as you growing up and in private school and college except I was a ice hockey goalie. I had to let alot of stuff roll off my back. Move foreward and don't look back or dwell on things from the past You have so much love and goodness and compassion. You are loved and I care about you too. I wish you an awesome Christmas and blessings. 🎄🎄
My bf has a teenage son who was varsity state-champ captain his senior year. I’ll never forget the first game I went to after months of being together. ALL EYES in the entire field were on ME! It was so intense. But his dad was proud, and his son made a point of being super cool to me and so did his teammates. I was very careful not to act effeminate. It was the longest 2 hours of my life, but I’m glad we did it. After that, I went to EVERY game and learned to ignore all the staring. He eventually got into college with a football scholarship and I’ve never been more proud. Be strong buddy- life is long. You’ll be surprised how strong you can be. It’s a real skill you’ll need to deal with the idiots you’ll encounter. Just stay focused and you’ll be just fine. I’m rooting for you 💫 🇺🇸
Congratulations, your a beautiful man. I’m sure your going to have a beautiful life and coming out can have a huge impact on other men who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality. So thank you for being a voice.
Jake, I am sending you so much love and support as you continue your journey to live your life authentically. Being close in age, I take a lot of inspiration from you and am amazed by the courage you’ve had to come out in front of thousands of people. While I know none of this was easy, you will continue inspiring many people to live their lives for themselves, and I have no doubt about that. You’re such a beautiful soul, and I’m so glad I’ve gotten to be part of this journey ❣️
I’m happy that you’re able to be your true self. I can relate to your issue at boarding school. I was in the Navy in the mid 1980s. It was an awful 4 years.
I love it when beautiful men share their coming out story with the world, making it a little easier for all those who will follow. Thanks Jake! And congrats for having the balls to be to be honest
You are such a beautiful guy and your emotions are beautiful too. I cry a lot too so don't be embarrassed lol. I gotta say, your story makes me both hopeful and sad. I'm hopeful for you because you already know what you want and have the drive to achieve it! I'm also sad though because I'm 27 and I really wish I had that clarity you have now when I was 19. I'm not sure when or if I'll find love, all I know is that you are on a better track to find it than I am. Reach for the stars dude and find that love you're looking for! Always be yourself and remember there are people around you who love you unconditionally!
Im so proud that you are able to finally be yourself and be comfortable enough to do things like this video. I can’t wait to see who you become in this new era 🫶🏼
I don't believe everything happens for a reason, but I definitely believe we can find reason from everything that happens to us. That is healing. Sorry you been through it and glad you are getting through.
Thank you fro sharing your story, Jake. You're incredibly brave and courageous for doing this, especially given the pressure from a sport. Thank you for sharing and inspiring others to be their true selves.
Jake build on your past, do not regret your past, it has made you a decent guy, be true to yourself, and now your present and future can be happy. We are forever growing and maturing
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. It could take a lifetime to get there. Anyway, I played, then I coached and didn't comeout to myself until I was over 30!! Then to some friends and family by 35. It's hard, life is hard, life is beautiful. Thank You for sharing!
I'm guessing I watched you play against the Buckeyes. 😀 I got your 19 years in hiding beat by a few, 61 to be exact. I grew up in a different time and different place. You are far braver than I and I'm so glad you are. Enjoy your life for all of those who were just too scared to live our own. I think your generation will make our country and world a better place.
Your story touched me deeply. I relate to your open heart and speaking style. I'm 65 years old, with my husband now for 20 years. I hope you find your person. I admire your desire not to just "hook up." FWIW, we worship at a Christian church that embraces LGBTQ people completely. May the forces of good wrap you in comfort as you continue your beautiful journey. (If you haven't already, I think you would like Heartstopper and its beautiful depiction of an English "rugby lad" falling in love with a "gay nerd." Truly the sweetest show ever!).
So much of what you say here is amazingly on point. It took me until I was 31 to acknowledge even though I knew pretty much all along. I felt to have a good career and be successful I just couldn’t. Finally I came to that realization that you describe midway through the video, I simply saw that if someone didn’t accept me for who I was, then I didn’t need to pretend they were my friend or even need them in my life. My family was quite supportive, my friends were all supportive, and I realized that all my worry was really just my own. Didn’t lose any true friends, on the contrary gained some, and my family stands by me. You telling your story does help and although maybe hard is totally amazing. If I had seen something like what you said here 30+ years ago (I’m 50 now) it would have been amazing. But we do each move at our own pace.
Thank you for being so brave in making this video and telling your story! My coming out was over 38 years ago and it’s still not easy for anyone to come out! I hope you are feeling some relief in being your true self now. I agree you will keep the real friends and family and you will find the chosen family who will stick by you! 🫶🏽🫶🏽
I didn’t come out until 24. That was 10 years ago now. I understand the feeling of wasted years. But you still have so much life ahead of you! Trust me!
Trust me you are 19 when you get to 25 you are going to change so much and realize you have to love yourself and choose yourself over someone else. When you love someone you are sharing your love for yourself with them, not the other way around.
those who have the problem in this case mainly are the problem As you can only walk down your life's path your own way no one else's Such courage to say what you need to say how you need to say it Much love from UK and thanks for sharing
Jake ,you will do well in life. Though it is a strange comparison, I lost loved ones this year and I feel miserable. The point is, by you coming out, you freed yourself out of that unhappiness . I have to free myself of pain like you did. You are an inspiration for people who don't feel free to express themselves. Keep up your helping others out and be the guiding light for the world. More than anything else, look in the mirror, and be very proud of yourself. Take care and have a wonderful Christmas and a healthy, prosperous 2025.
Hugs to all who are struggling with coming out. I came out in 1985 at age 17 when being gay seemed like a death sentence. Most of my gay elders are dead, half my peers are dead. I’m lucky to be alive.
Thank you for sharing your journey! It will continue to get better in time. You keep tuning out the noise and the negativity. Much love and respect to you!
It gets better. It really dose. The gay community is complex and multifaceted and has space for you. I know it feels like you need to make up for all the time you didn’t know or couldn’t be yourself, but you have broken out of your chrysalis enjoying your wings
You inspire me man. I’m so scared to come out and I’m not even in a masculine sport like football, I’m in marching band where there are other gays lol. It’s just so hard and your courage truly inspires me.
You’re a beautiful & gentle soul who has been tested by fire and come out the other side a bit banged up, but with your heart and mind in a higher place. No life experience is ever wasted, you did the best you could under difficult circumstances and learned who you truly are. Being gay gives us a unique perspective that allows use to live life outside the strict channels most people are confined within. Use your beautiful light to make our world a more loving place.
What you need is a big hug. Don't worry how the video turned out. It was great and your message is important. Please take care of yourself. Look forward to seeing your continuing adventures.
Hi Jake, I liked your video! I just found your channel but this video was amazing! Thank you for your coming out story and believing in yourself. I think you made the right choice to come out and live the life you are happy with. I am so inspired by this and grateful you decided to share this with the world. People are going to be people but screw them life is too precious to waste time on b/s. There's nothing worse than that imo! I am looking forward to more of your videos! Take care and I wish you well...😀
Jake you have a beautiful spirit and you have the best life to live now. I understand the putting to much of yourself into someone you love. You have amazing energy and passion live life to the fullest. ❤❤❤
Your journey and who you are is beautiful and I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve wasted so many years but remember to give yourself grace. We can so easily get back into beating ourselves up but this is your time and it’s time for you to enjoy it. And you deserve to enjoy it. Keep adventuring and discovering yourself because this authentic version of you is fucking amazing! ❤
Jake: the past doesn’t matter. You are a shining soul and you’re going to be fine, I know it. One day, when you least expect it, you’ll see him across a room. I promise, and in the meanwhile, we are here for you. ❤
I looked back at the older videos and noticed about 3-4 months ago you stopped lowering your voice. It was very deep a year ago-you were very “bro.” 3 months ago I started to see the hair, nails, little high flip in your voice for your audience. Great job on being authentic you. 💝You’ll never regret it!
That was my life too😢 I'm 63 and I gave away 25 years of my life. It still hurts. But I have the love of my life now. But I still wish life had been easier back than ❤
Happy Pride from another Guy who has traveled the very same road. I've suffered lumbar back issues since College. NOBODY can understand the Trauma that develops from having pain and performance issues combined with being a struggling gay man in the closet. The best therapy is two gay men talking.....I'm going to try to make contact. Yes, live OUR LIVES with passion. My motto is IGNORE THE HATERS. I wish more of us truly lived that way.......🎉🎉❤❤
There are so many words, but I’ll leave it at this….. we love you Jake! Thank you for showing your authentic self and can’t wait to see the true Jake and you living your best life! ❤
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@@jakeeldridgeIt takes a lot of courage to be who you are: an authentic, honest,wise and brave “old soul “ I believe you help & inspire more people than you ever thought 🤗
Jake first and foremost I am proud of you ! I am proud of you for coming out so you can be who you truly are, I am proud of you for having the courage to come out ! Those who left you were not meant to go to the altitude and places you will go in life but those of us who love you for you will always stand by your side no matter what. Also for what it’s worth as a gay man myself I am proud of you for coming out at a young age as I am 32 now and for 31 years of my life I was closeted and not living to be who I truly was ! Just know you have so many of us who are behind you fully and always will be ! NOW keep your head up and go be YOU and don’t apologize for nothing because we are who we are and will always be !! Much love Jake 💙🫶🏻 !
This is why I'm still on social media, finding true people I can relate too. I'm also very private and not one too leave comments but here it goes (hopefully not a long ramble) I have held back, kept my self restricted and watched myself around others, weather it was out of respect or fear but I also try not to have any regrets or resentment on any of my pass decisions. I've always been the type to plan ahead but with what I experienced, it really is day by day because you never know how the next day is going to effect your life. I felt this video, so many feelings and I hope for nothing but strength and love for you bud❤❤❤
Jake, you didn’t waste 19 years because it lead to this place in your life! You are a beautiful person!
Yes, for Pete's sake. 19 is just the beginning of your life!
@@atmostud39❤ you're 100% right and I agree with your thoughts. An amen for that. Take care. Bi, JayR ❤️
you got the support from your buddies here in Canada :--)
You're right & that's a beautiful sentiment. But there are those us who feel that being a teenager is supposed to be one of *the* happiest times in your life. (I was literally told this by my grandmother one day before school, "This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life & you're miserable") You're supposed to be discovering & embracing yourself & living a life relatively unburndened by adulthood while simultaneously preparing for it. It's supposed to be a time of fun. But instead, for some of us, it was a non-stop slog of a 24/7 charade where we have to play a caricature of ourselves to feel safe while everyone else grows & has fun. Money can but alot of things but it cannot buy time & milestones lost. This is why someone posted on Twitter (and it got 20,000 likes in two days) "The reason gay men act like teenagers in their 30s is because our teenage years weren't ours to live."
👍🏻
You are a brave, caring and gentle soul. You have more people wishing you well and being there to support you, than you know.
Aw you are too kind thank you!
You no doubt are a beautiful person!! Be who YOU are!! Nothing wrong with a emotional person!! LOVE and HUGS!
(Helps when you ARE a *physically* beautiful person too lol.) But yes, hang in there dude! 🫂
I came out to my family in the 70’s when I was 17 years old. Lived in a very rural area where homophobia flourished. Played football in high school and was totally closeted. Was closeted in the Air National Guard for 7 years. I left the Guard as I was fed up with the homophobia, misogyny, and politics. From that point on I was totally out. Being in the medical field made being out and gay tolerable. I never thought I could and would get married in my lifetime. Today, it is easier to be out, but not completely devoid of discrimination or prejudice. I just know from the experiences of others and myself that it gets immensely better with time. I wish the same for you. Thanks for sharing your story and the emotions that go with it. Some man is going to sweep you off your feet and capture your heart. And you will do the same to him.
@@kd8199 Wishing you all the Best! Kind words with a totally meaningful message. 💙💙
@ - thank you so much. Wishing you the same.
Just found this video and your channel today. Thank you for sharing your story. You are brave! You didn't waste a lot of your life. I just came out at almost 28, and I'm excited about this new chapter where I can be myself. You have a lot to look forward to.
Hugs. My husband and I have been together for 33 years. I was 30 when we met….
You keep being you and your life will be amazing. 🎉🎉
Amazing,congrats & all the best ❤
You are an inspiration. Keep the faith, brother! You have a marvelous life ahead of you. Don’t ever lose sight of that fact. It was my experience over many years that as you progressively come out to more and more people, it’s as if a weight is lifted off your shoulders. Hang in there! You’re going to be fine.
Courage is your strength - cherish it. I’m 62 and can assure you there will be more ups and downs but stay true to yourself. And keep laughing - it’s the best elixir.
Jake you will survive, keep looking for that one partner!! Me and my husband together 54 years ago
Me and my husband have been together for 45 years. It can be done... Many of my (other gay couple) friends have been together since the early eighties.
Just try hard to be yourself, no matter what other folks think. Stay strong.
Hi good nite blessing to see length of years but not everyone have that luck man enjoy .
Poor guy. Here's a virtual hug. You have a full life ahead of you, leaving all this in the past. You'll find love and that someone eventually.
Love this. I came out at 28 and I wish I had the courage to come out sooner. Sending you love, light and positivity. Thank you for sharing your story.
Jake, thanks for sharing your story with us! You have no idea how much courage you have shown by sharing and posting your story on this venue!! Kudos to you, and please keep sharing. I look forward to future posts.
You did not waste 19 years of your life. You did what you had to do, or thought you had to do, to make you happy. You MIGHT have some regrets about your high school times, in the future. Don't let those regrets bog you down. After hearing these stories, I'm so proud of who you are, and what you've been. Keep on keeping it real.❤
I wish you well Jake. You deserve to find that special someone in your life. Good luck. Look forward and keep smiling.
This was so beautiful. You are wonderful and kind. You make the world better. You give me hope. And your Christmas tree is lovely too. Stay strong. Be happy. Be you.
I loved this story. I’m currently a 17 year old junior in high school and completely understand everything you went through. Being a “retired” varsity hockey athlete, it was so hard being my authentic self. I basically had to fake who I truly was, similarly to you. To be completely honest, I’m still terrified to officially come out, my whole family is religious and neither my town or school is necessarily accepting. I feel like people might suspect I’m gay, but who knows at this point🤷♂️ Thankfully, someone came into my life this year who made me feel comfortable, allowing me to come out to her, despite me still being terrified of what people may think of me after I come out. This video gives me hope though, hopefully by the time I go to college I can feel comfortable to be who I really am🥹💕
Same with me. Same story. I waited to come out until I was 24 and out of college. I wanted to be my own independent man before I told my folks who were supporting me and paying for my college. I knew their opinions don’t matter once I make my own way in the world. My dad is a preacher. They accept me now. We just don’t go into details about my dating / social life. Lmk if you have any questions or want any advice.
@ thank you I appreciate it, and glad it all worked out for you🙏 I have the exact same plan
It's hard to admit it but it gets easier. I was outed at the end of my freshmen year. I am finishing up my last high school year of hockey now. I got lucky with my team. They will protect me (I'm the goalie) and they know who I am on the inside. Senior year is such a breeze unless you got concussions like me lol. Enough about me. You will find people who will have your back. It takes time. I'm still figuring things out but I have people to guide me. Note that your identity matters and stay true to yourself. I prob been in your place before in hockey locker rooms and heard the same things. I grew resilience which is the best virtue I learned so far. Reading your story made me feel emotional and I had to type smth (1st time I did this too lol) Thank you and I wish the best of luck!!!
@@travismodzelewski21 refreshing to hear it’s not just me, we likely had a similar experience lol and thank you!
@@travismodzelewski21 cute but try being bi sexual in Africa , you see the whole support structure hockey team protecting you thats a fantasy here people hate you for being anything else than straight , lve had people i dont even know telling me i have homosexuality demons and that i will corrupt other kids .... also i wasnt wanted in the soccer team never played soccer in my life , some family memebers also dont like the way i act or talk its literal hell on earth for me and the worst part is day by day it gets worse .I wish i hav what u have at the moment cause i cant even make a friend thats how sad it is .
A big shout out to you, for being your true self. Now the hardest thing is done, and now your life really begins 😊
I’m so sorry to hear that you had such a hard time, and got sick, do to stress and anxiety. Please surround yourself with people who only want all the good for you and who loves you no matter what ❤
And if people can’t accept you for who you are, please keep them out of your life, so they don’t poison your life 🙏
Lots of positivity, love, hugs and peace from Denmark ❤
I am enjoying watching your videos. The older you get, the more you will care less about what others think of you (while also realizing how infrequently they do think of you). Years ago I adopted this phrase - “Your opinion of me is none of my business.” It serves me well! 😊
I love your phrase. Everyone should adopt it in all walks of life. We probably all could live a much happier and less angry and confrontational life.
Jake, you are amazing, so brave, and so strong. I've been following you for a while and I've been so proud to watch your journey. It hurts my heart to hear all of the struggles that you've gone through. You don't know anyone an explanation and it warms my heart to know that you're able to do things you truly enjoy now. I totally understand you on the UC too - I have Crohn's and it sucks. Glad to know there's someone else who gets that :) Sending all my love
❤
Thanks for being so honest. You are amazing and brave.
God bless you Jake, I feel your pain. Growing up in the 1970’s was no picnic….i still feel the pain. But enough about me. Please be yourself, grow and continue to be the best you can be. Remember a smile and kind word goes a long way. We never know what is happening with the other person we are talking with. May you have the best life, and I hope you will find a wonderful person to be by your side!!!!
This was real and perfect and made me cry 😭. I like this format too aside from vlogs where you just talk and have a dialogue.
I’ve been out for less than a year and I’m 27 and seeing your videos really gave me courage and you’re only 19! You are some brave guy!
You deserve to be happy and yes it really does suck at times and it’s tough but it just makes you that much of a tougher person. We need good role models in our community and I can’t wait to see what’s ahead for you!!
Aw thank you! So proud of you!
Even through the tears, you found humour in it and made me laugh 😂 The Duolingo comment while recounting a harrowing experience in Paris was gold
This is incredible! Young people struggling need to watch this and know it’s ok to be their true selves. It does get better. You are enough. Waiting to read your book! Thank you! ❤
Awhh Jake 😭 I want to give you a big hug and hold you and tell you it’s all going to be ok! But you know this because you’re already living your best life! ❤️
I also totally understand the “hook up” culture and wanting that real authentic genuine connection that is very absent in the community. It totally sucks. And the unrealistic beauty standards. It’s just a long list of things.
This video definitely hit close to heart for me. I felt some of the things you went through, and I’m so happy to see you embracing your true self! Love the song-definitely adding it to my playlist.
Awww I just want to hug you 💙😥 I'm so happy you can live your life for you now, its never too late to come out, I'm still struggling as well whenever I meet new people I'm afraid of what their reaction would be, sadly this world isn't fully accepting as we should be, I hope everyone can just eventually live their life without being afraid and everyone can be comfortable and accepting no matter who you are. All the best to you Jake 💙💙 also I love your Christmas display and outfit!
You are so incredibly emotionally intelligent and such a beautiful human being. You dont have to be part of a 'culture', just be you. And wait for someone who deserves you. You are a light in a world that can be very dark. Don’t let anyone extinguish your light. God bless you. Sending you love.💙
Oh Jake! I just want to hug you. I was diagnosed with crohns disease in 1997 and hide who I was until 1999. As soon as I came out, the crohns went into remission. Be who you are. You are beautiful! You are not alone. Take care and continue to provide us with great videos. ❤
This video popped up in my recommended. Having those strict religious environments growing up really does leave a lasting impact. I came out to my family when I was 19, and while I didn't have that super macho environment adding extra pressure to conform, my entire sense of what's right and what's wrong has shackled me for so many years. But it's really inspiring to see you openly and unashamedly share a piece of your story with us. I know you'll be very popular with the boys, so take care and keep your head on your shoulders. Best of luck on your new journey--the future is bright!
Jake, so proud of your journey and living your authentic life. You are loved! Sending you love always!
Jake: Your story is so so much like my own. I don’t know how to get in touch with you but my heart goes to you. Would love to chat with you somehow. But if we don’t connect, you’re on the right path. My only advice is to know, accept and love yourself. When you do, you are fully free to love someone else. Passion is my favorite word too. Much love.
I came out in Jan at 35. I could not keep lying. Since I came out I am exactly what you said, doing everything I couldn’t do while in the closet because I feel like I’ve waste so much of my life. Since coming out it’s been an amazing year, & I hope everyone can find the courage to do so. Love you Jake proud of you for coming out.
So happy to hear you can be your true self! Lots of love
You have so much passion and love bout who you really are. It's simply amazing because you and you and thats the best thing of all.
Hey man, I’ve been following you for about a year or so and just wanna say I’m so happy you’re able to live your true authentic self now! This really inspired me because even though I came out 5 years ago, I still feel that I’m not the most connected to the community and find myself hiding this part of myself in certain situations. Thanks for showing me it’s cool to be proud of who you are unapologetically! ❤❤
Even now, we can hear the pain in your voice, see how you hold back the tears. WE are with YOU. WE understand YOU. YOU are safe with US.
I was forced out in 1977 when I was 17 in high school in southern rural Illinois. I survived. You will, too.
No one should have to deal with all of what you have, but that is not the world in which we live.
Please know that now you get to be your own true self. You have started your journey to setting yourself free.
None of your life is wasted. It's part of who you are and if - if - you've learned from it and grown as a person ... then you've accomplished so much!
You're right that gay people have a loyalty test when we come out. People do leave.
You are so brave and strong. I love how you've shared your emotions. YOU DO NOT NEED TO STOP CRYING.
I wish you the very best as you grow in your journey!
Jake, you've been through an incredible amount of pain. You are now coming to terms with your life. I want to say one thing: You have your whole life before you. Live your life to the fullest.
Coming out is a huge part of living authentically; the road isn't always smooth, but life is much less stressful being yourself.
Do not regret what you were living before, it was part of you growing up and you will be even better because of those growing years.Those years were the foundation of your character and self. Now you have started a new phase of life and you will still have to learn and grow all the rest of you life. Never stop growing and be better.
Jake.... I came out at 36, so don't beat yourself up. I lost many who needed for me to fit into their definition of who I should be, and it hurt... Until I realized that they didn't actually love ME, but only the person they wanted me to be. The replacement friends became true friends... And, those who stayed showed me that they loved me no matter what, and that was a revelation (because I was trying to be "right" for people before, and they loved the core of who I was). You be authentically you without regret.
Even if I don’t know you personally, proud of you, kind of gone through the same situation. Following your journey
I understand 😢 gosh, so much of your story is my story. We share one thing deeply in common, I’ve never been that hookup guy. Probably why I’ve been single for so long. Like you, I don’t love 1/2 way, when I’m in, I’m all in. Tbh, for most people that just scares them. I wish I could have met you 30-40 years ago. Growing older alone is a bitch… but I’m hoping you will find someone who loves as passionately and completely as you and that it will be for a lifetime! Thanks for sharing your story.
You have Incredible insight for your youth. Keep being your authentic self and thank you for sharing your journey. Your parents must be very proud of you. I know I would.
I am so glad I found your video tonight. My heart goes out to you and I completely understand what you are saying. I've been living a lifetime of what you are saying. I'm so happy you found your voice and you are so open and honest. I can understand and feel your tears, they are what makes you so relatable. I just found someone who is finally helping me realize I have to be honest about who I am in order to find happiness. Thank you for your honesty and compassion. I am going to be watching for more of your videos. I pray you find real happiness in your life. ❤
You have not wasted a second of your life. It got you to where you are today with the lesson that you must live every day as though it may be your last. Don’t waste time on the toxic. You have a beautiful sout. Now is your time to shine! Go for it!❤
Definitely congrats on coming out, chief and best wishes on loving the true you. But more importantly, good job getting Christmas going so fast!
Great vid, Jake! Coming out is an amazing process. It is both an emotionally strengthening and vulnerable condition. With coming out, you will never feel stronger, it is power no one can take away. And that's saying a lot, especially for a toughened footballer like yourself. Follow your dreams, live your life, and be happy with all the spoils (like true love) that honesty and truth bring,
I was raised in S. Texas and my gay cousin attended a Christian school. Really f’d him up. So I understand. I didn’t come out until I was 27 (in the 70s). My husband and I have been together 45 years. You’ll find the man of your dreams. But don’t be in a rush. You just came out. Have some fun!!
Proud of you - you are free and you got time to figure yourself out and then try to get what you want from life ❤ - Texas and Florida are definitely not the easiest places to grow up either so I can see why you were “hiding yourself” to avoid hate.
Clearly, you are an amazing person; you certainly have my respect. Keep being happy. Yeah, there's still a lot of crap out there, but please don't let it mess you up. Truly awesome video. Thanks! Had to subscribe.
Well said young man you said it well thank you . And you be strong you got this ...
Let all the chaff fall away! It is the gift of clarity. You are an amazing guy Jake! You’re going to be better than fine! Here if you ever need me! Anytime!
Hello Jake,
I'm a Black 61-year-old man who came out at 18 in Los Angeles while going to USC. I totally understand what you went through . I always say you must love yourself before you love someone else. Good luck in the future and take care!
Sam
I understand exactly what you are sharing about your life. Ive been through somewhat of the same thing. Just be yourself and people will love you for being you baby. Ive been out now 35 years and have enjoyed a life happy, joyous and free❤
Congratulations on your coming out story Jake!! I'm sure it's a very chaotic and scary and welcoming time. Just choose your community carefully and you should be fine. There are so many amazing people in the world, especially in the Northeast corridor!!!! :)
I went through the same thing as you growing up and in private school and college except I was a ice hockey goalie. I had to let alot of stuff roll off my back. Move foreward and don't look back or dwell on things from the past You have so much love and goodness and compassion. You are loved and I care about you too. I wish you an awesome Christmas and blessings. 🎄🎄
My bf has a teenage son who was varsity state-champ captain his senior year. I’ll never forget the first game I went to after months of being together. ALL EYES in the entire field were on ME! It was so intense. But his dad was proud, and his son made a point of being super cool to me and so did his teammates. I was very careful not to act effeminate. It was the longest 2 hours of my life, but I’m glad we did it. After that, I went to EVERY game and learned to ignore all the staring. He eventually got into college with a football scholarship and I’ve never been more proud. Be strong buddy- life is long. You’ll be surprised how strong you can be. It’s a real skill you’ll need to deal with the idiots you’ll encounter. Just stay focused and you’ll be just fine. I’m rooting for you 💫 🇺🇸
Congratulations, your a beautiful man. I’m sure your going to have a beautiful life and coming out can have a huge impact on other men who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality. So thank you for being a voice.
Jake,
I am sending you so much love and support as you continue your journey to live your life authentically. Being close in age, I take a lot of inspiration from you and am amazed by the courage you’ve had to come out in front of thousands of people. While I know none of this was easy, you will continue inspiring many people to live their lives for themselves, and I have no doubt about that. You’re such a beautiful soul, and I’m so glad I’ve gotten to be part of this journey ❣️
Aw thank you so much!
So happy to see you living authentically! It will only go up from here on out! Proud of you! ❤
I’m happy that you’re able to be your true self. I can relate to your issue at boarding school. I was in the Navy in the mid 1980s. It was an awful 4 years.
I love it when beautiful men share their coming out story with the world, making it a little easier for all those who will follow. Thanks Jake! And congrats for having the balls to be to be honest
You are such a beautiful guy and your emotions are beautiful too. I cry a lot too so don't be embarrassed lol. I gotta say, your story makes me both hopeful and sad. I'm hopeful for you because you already know what you want and have the drive to achieve it! I'm also sad though because I'm 27 and I really wish I had that clarity you have now when I was 19. I'm not sure when or if I'll find love, all I know is that you are on a better track to find it than I am. Reach for the stars dude and find that love you're looking for! Always be yourself and remember there are people around you who love you unconditionally!
Im so proud that you are able to finally be yourself and be comfortable enough to do things like this video. I can’t wait to see who you become in this new era 🫶🏼
❤
I don't believe everything happens for a reason, but I definitely believe we can find reason from everything that happens to us. That is healing. Sorry you been through it and glad you are getting through.
Thank you fro sharing your story, Jake. You're incredibly brave and courageous for doing this, especially given the pressure from a sport. Thank you for sharing and inspiring others to be their true selves.
Jake build on your past, do not regret your past, it has made you a decent guy, be true to yourself, and now your present and future can be happy. We are forever growing and maturing
I went through similar but with hockey, it’s really tough, you’re amazing for speaking up
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. It could take a lifetime to get there. Anyway, I played, then I coached and didn't comeout to myself until I was over 30!! Then to some friends and family by 35. It's hard, life is hard, life is beautiful. Thank You for sharing!
Jake. I understand. And I know that you understand, too. It really IS hard. You’re an impressive young man. Thank you.
Love and support from your friend in Germany. What an emotional and positive story. Thank you so much for sharing this. All the best!
So so so proud of you Jake! We all love and support you ❤️
I'm guessing I watched you play against the Buckeyes. 😀 I got your 19 years in hiding beat by a few, 61 to be exact. I grew up in a different time and different place. You are far braver than I and I'm so glad you are. Enjoy your life for all of those who were just too scared to live our own. I think your generation will make our country and world a better place.
Thank you for sharing your story Jake! Please know that you are awesome and an inspiration ❤!
Thank you so much!
Your story touched me deeply. I relate to your open heart and speaking style. I'm 65 years old, with my husband now for 20 years. I hope you find your person. I admire your desire not to just "hook up." FWIW, we worship at a Christian church that embraces LGBTQ people completely. May the forces of good wrap you in comfort as you continue your beautiful journey. (If you haven't already, I think you would like Heartstopper and its beautiful depiction of an English "rugby lad" falling in love with a "gay nerd." Truly the sweetest show ever!).
So much of what you say here is amazingly on point. It took me until I was 31 to acknowledge even though I knew pretty much all along. I felt to have a good career and be successful I just couldn’t. Finally I came to that realization that you describe midway through the video, I simply saw that if someone didn’t accept me for who I was, then I didn’t need to pretend they were my friend or even need them in my life. My family was quite supportive, my friends were all supportive, and I realized that all my worry was really just my own. Didn’t lose any true friends, on the contrary gained some, and my family stands by me.
You telling your story does help and although maybe hard is totally amazing. If I had seen something like what you said here 30+ years ago (I’m 50 now) it would have been amazing. But we do each move at our own pace.
wishing u the best Jake, I know u will find your happiness, u are loved by many, God Bless !
Thank you for being so brave in making this video and telling your story! My coming out was over 38 years ago and it’s still not easy for anyone to come out! I hope you are feeling some relief in being your true self now. I agree you will keep the real friends and family and you will find the chosen family who will stick by you! 🫶🏽🫶🏽
I didn’t come out until 24. That was 10 years ago now. I understand the feeling of wasted years. But you still have so much life ahead of you! Trust me!
Trust me you are 19 when you get to 25 you are going to change so much and realize you have to love yourself and choose yourself over someone else. When you love someone you are sharing your love for yourself with them, not the other way around.
those who have the problem in this case mainly are the problem
As you can only walk down your life's path your own way no one else's
Such courage to say what you need to say how you need to say it
Much love from UK and thanks for sharing
Jake ,you will do well in life. Though it is a strange comparison, I lost loved ones this year and I feel miserable. The point is, by you coming out, you freed yourself out of that unhappiness . I have to free myself of pain like you did. You are an inspiration for people who don't feel free to express themselves. Keep up your helping others out and be the guiding light for the world. More than anything else, look in the mirror, and be very proud of yourself. Take care and have a wonderful Christmas and a healthy, prosperous 2025.
Hugs to you! 🫂
You deserve happiness. Remember that! ❤
I am very happy for you. I was 40 when I came out and life has been so much better (29 years later)
Hugs to all who are struggling with coming out. I came out in 1985 at age 17 when being gay seemed like a death sentence. Most of my gay elders are dead, half my peers are dead. I’m lucky to be alive.
Thank you for sharing your journey! It will continue to get better in time. You keep tuning out the noise and the negativity. Much love and respect to you!
It gets better. It really dose. The gay community is complex and multifaceted and has space for you. I know it feels like you need to make up for all the time you didn’t know or couldn’t be yourself, but you have broken out of your chrysalis enjoying your wings
❤
You inspire me man. I’m so scared to come out and I’m not even in a masculine sport like football, I’m in marching band where there are other gays lol. It’s just so hard and your courage truly inspires me.
Beautifully expressed, Jake. Proud of you. ❤
You’re a beautiful & gentle soul who has been tested by fire and come out the other side a bit banged up, but with your heart and mind in a higher place. No life experience is ever wasted, you did the best you could under difficult circumstances and learned who you truly are. Being gay gives us a unique perspective that allows use to live life outside the strict channels most people are confined within. Use your beautiful light to make our world a more loving place.
What you need is a big hug. Don't worry how the video turned out. It was great and your message is important. Please take care of yourself. Look forward to seeing your continuing adventures.
Hi Jake, I liked your video! I just found your channel but this video was amazing! Thank you for your coming out story and believing in yourself. I think you made the right choice to come out and live the life you are happy with. I am so inspired by this and grateful you decided to share this with the world. People are going to be people but screw them life is too precious to waste time on b/s. There's nothing worse than that imo! I am looking forward to more of your videos! Take care and I wish you well...😀
Jake you have a beautiful spirit and you have the best life to live now. I understand the putting to much of yourself into someone you love. You have amazing energy and passion live life to the fullest. ❤❤❤
Your journey and who you are is beautiful and I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve wasted so many years but remember to give yourself grace. We can so easily get back into beating ourselves up but this is your time and it’s time for you to enjoy it. And you deserve to enjoy it. Keep adventuring and discovering yourself because this authentic version of you is fucking amazing! ❤
Jake: the past doesn’t matter. You are a shining soul and you’re going to be fine, I know it. One day, when you least expect it, you’ll see him across a room. I promise, and in the meanwhile, we are here for you. ❤
I looked back at the older videos and noticed about 3-4 months ago you stopped lowering your voice. It was very deep a year ago-you were very “bro.” 3 months ago I started to see the hair, nails, little high flip in your voice for your audience. Great job on being authentic you. 💝You’ll never regret it!
Well done, very well done! Cheers to the new and very special you! Cheers 🥂
That was my life too😢 I'm 63 and I gave away 25 years of my life. It still hurts. But I have the love of my life now. But I still wish life had been easier back than ❤
@@tloft61 💙💙
Happy Pride from another Guy who has traveled the very same road. I've suffered lumbar back issues since College. NOBODY can understand the Trauma that develops from having pain and performance issues combined with being a struggling gay man in the closet.
The best therapy is two gay men talking.....I'm going to try to make contact. Yes, live OUR LIVES with passion. My motto is IGNORE THE HATERS. I wish more of us truly lived that way.......🎉🎉❤❤