@@jeffsfolio Japan overall is an extremely contextual society where a lot of meaning is derived from the context (relationship between the communicators, private vs. business, etc.) a communication takes place in rather than what is actually said and concepts such as "saving face" are of extreme importance. It's not miserable.. it's just different. Though granted, for you as a straight-forward individual it might be miserable or at least take some getting used to, hah. ^^ I just think calling it "miserable" overall is a bit harsh.
As a straightforward person who firmly believes that life is stressful enough without unnecessary drama, Kyoto would hate me because I refuse to entertain any drama.
I`m Dutch and have a girlfriend in Kyoto,. Dutch are notorious for beeing direct and sincere.. Once i can visit after corona i`ll be so scared to make mistakes and make myself look like a fool. Gonna read up!
@@Melinmingle foreigners, especially caucasian ones get a free pass for most possible "mistakes" anyways, nobody will fault you for most stuff as long as you're trying, though you may get glances and people talking behind your back, but hey the latter happens everywhere in the world anyways. anyways, if u look distinctively "foreign" you can just be at ease honestly
@@rzt430 True i`ve lived in the czech republic and was foreign enough to get the talks behind my back and the stares. As for Japan,. Just dont want them to mistake my directness for barbarism when its just practical. The pass i get feels like a shitty prize when they think "Ah the barbaric foreigner cant help himself". Anyways i may be worrying to much on leaving a good impression with the girlfriend. Thanks for your reply
When people "Don't say what they mean" this happens everywhere. There are people who will say what they think regardless who they offend and there are people who don't want to hurt other people feelings or appear mean to them. Most culture values "niceness" over truth in many cases. But it creates more miscommunication which has the potential to create more problems.
@@midgetwthahacksaw No no, it *is* passive aggression here, or at least condescension. I guess that's just how subjective the world we live in is, right? One thing is seen as polite somewhere, in another entirely different place it's extremely rude.
So the people in Kyoto are basically an high maintenance girlfriend. "I like this" means "meh" and thank you means "I hate this"... as an Italian who's always direct, this feels like a nightmare ahahah. We also have the okini situation tho, and the refuse, but only once or twice
Most of us have a thing in the UK (feel like it’s more of a northern thing though) where we don’t just say “we’ve got to leave now” when at someone’s house, there’s a weird ritual of waiting for just the right moment of a topic coming to an end and everyone stopping talking, for you to slap you knees, smile and say “right then!”, stand up and then everyone knows you’re ready to leave. You miss that opportunity and you’re stuck/held hostage until the next one comes along. It’s the least questionable and polite way of leaving imo, as it creates a mild sense of urgency without interrupting and doesn’t invite to many questions (if any) as to why you’re leaving thus possibly causing you to awkwardly make up a reason for trying to escape 😂 Also saying sorry for everything even if it’s not really your fault/the other person is actually being a hinderance.
Oh, I live in the midwest of the U.S. and it's exactly the same here. Stuck in conversation until you can find a moment to politely see your way out of it. We suffer from "I'm halfway out the door, but still talking to you even though I said I would be leaving." which can get awkward. On the flip side, you also get guests who just won't let you leave even though you've grabbed all your stuff and are slipping your shoes back on. Makes it hard to figure out if you're being rude or not.
As a person who likes anime and parts of Japanese culture while i never really cared of living in Japan i alwasy wanted to visit once or twice. However the more i learn about other parts of Japanese culture the more i think of never setting foot there. Im way too direct for this.
It seems frustrating but it’s also a good way to maintain some semblance of public politeness and peace. You have to actually pay attention to someone to understand how they’re feeling.
I just found your videos 2 days ago while researching aspects of Japanese culture and history for a short story I am writing. Even if I never published the story, I try to be as accurate as possible and use as much as the real history as I can find. This has been helping keep my historical interpretation muscles in shape during my lockdowns. Thank you for providing such rich content.
I've been living in Kyoto for 4 years now and I never really thought deeply about these things. Though, it's amusing to meet people from Hyogo and Osaka who say how cold and uptight Kyotoites are.
I guess it is more of "what sort of districts" you live in rather than what city you live in. As of early to mid 21st Century, I feel the power of global socioeconomy is simply too huge in large cities all over the world, of course including Kyoto. In large cities, you can survive without making LITERALLY any contacts whatsoever with the neighbors, so long as your house is not located in traditional communal districts. So, for instance, if you are a Kyoto University student living in a foreign student apartment, then life is probably pretty similar to that in other cities in Japan. On the other hand, if you live in Gion 祇園 or districts like that, then the implicit rules explained in this video are probably very real. I feel that this channel should also explain that Kyoto City is a megalopolice with the population of 1.5 million, extremely closely connected with Osaka in terms of commuting via shin-kaisoku and such. It is pretty different from small traditional towns you may find in Europe. Otherwise, the foreign viewers may have the impression that Kyoto is some bizarre isolated city with only tourist attracting phenomena.
I've watched a couple of your videos about the people of Kyoto and I find it really endearing. Kyoto is like that old aunt in the family that is sarcastic, sassy, and passive-aggressive. I kind of like it. The behavior does stem from politeness so I do believe it is justifiable. I know many cultures that do the same to not burden or annoy others.
As a midwest American we love inviting people to our homes, offering them food and drink and some times even a gift! I would be so hurt in Kyoto. I'd probably cry...
I lived in Japan for 4 years and I appreciate your explanation of the 'expensive restaurant rules', the 'sweeping your front steps, hidden meanings of words (hints) and the 'okini' explanation. Thank you very much.
It was a very interesting video. I stayed in Tokyo for over a year, and in Kyoto just for a month. As a visitor, I found the people in Kyoto are more lively and friendly than those in Tokyo. Would you also cover the difference between people in Kyoto and Tokyo one day?
It is sad that some people cannot understand there are people who love Japan but don’t live there and want to learn more about it. A closed mind is not good for anyone.
This video made me think of how we say "How are you?" or "How's it goin'?" in the US. Unless you are friends, family, or coworkers or something, most strangers don't ask those questions to hear anything more than an "I'm doing well" or "I'm okay." (Though, I'm one of those people that unnecessarily hates these kind of questions and will therefore only say "How are you?" if I really want to know how they are doing. If I'm not trying to improve/strengthen a relationship with the person, I just resort to the classic and timeless "hello," "howdy," or "''sup," or "good to see you.")
I laughed so loud at the watch thing 😂 as an european knowing that this phrase has this meaning is like the most passive aggressive backhanded compliment i can imagine and i absolutely love it! 😂😂
The closest thing to this we have in the American English is what we call Southern Lady Code. There's a lot of hidden meanings and subtle communications (ie, the phrase "Bless your heart" is absolutely an insult).
i've come to find out that this depends on the context. If it's a response to someone being hurt doing something stupid and the injury isn't serious, then it's definitely an insult. If it's a response to someone getting seriously hurt, it's often said as a form of condolence for the family of the person if the individual died, or both the person AND the family if the person survived. I've heard it used in both sincere and insincere contexts many times.
Please check out my other video about "Why Japan hates Kyoto", to find out why the people of Kyoto are like this! th-cam.com/video/9wPlO1FKy8U/w-d-xo.html
The "okini" thing kind of exists in English as well. Like when a waiter asks you "would you like to order dessert ...?", you could say "Alright, thanks!" to affirm it, or "We're alright, thanks." to politely refuse.
Those sentences do have two very different meanings in english though. "Alright" is basically a synonym for "yes" as an interjection (though it usually denotes less enthusiasm, especially with a rise-fall intonation), but as an adjective it means something similar to "satisfactory" or "adequate". It kind of works very similarly to "OK".
This indirect discourse, in which one cannot take what is said literally and has to interpret the underlying meaning, is so reminiscent of widespread habits of speech in England!
You were always so good in explaining things clearly, and it's obvious that you like to share your knowledge with everyone you can. It's amazing how last week I was thinking about our last trip to Kyoto and wondered how our sensei in the Kyoto Samurai Experience was doing, and now I find that you have your own youtube channel. Amazing ! Keep it up and thanks so much!
Hello, nice to meet you. I am a French woman. I have visited Kyoto many times. in fact, I love the city. but my Japanese best friend who now lives in France says the locals can be mean and it looks like an inner circle. and she is from Nara lol. Actually, we went to a yukata rental place. the owner seemed more cold to her than to me (being a foreigner). I am not fluent in Japanese, so I cannot tell the how they talk to one another. but I suppose Kyoto locals recognize other locals or tourists from Japan. As a foreigner, the more I visited Kyoto over the years the more it had changed with tourists acting very badly (especially terrible chinese people...never seen this before...) and overall too crowded. I sometimes feel sorry for the locals. I think people from Kansai like more Osaka. I would like to explore more Uji. Thanks for your videos and happy new year!
I'm planning on living in Kyoto after I retire from the Military in the US. I used to live in Japan in Tokyo. I learned something new but very helpful thank you for this. Very educational.
the part about asking how someone's job is going as only a greeting and not caring about the real answer reminds me a lot of how we greet each other here in the UK. we typically say "you alright?" instead of "hello", but it's kind of an unspoken rule that you must reply that you're fine, or "not too bad". no one wants to know if you're actually not alright, and replying with that would probably create some shocked faces and awkward silences!
Kyoto city is my home and I love my home. I feel like there are many unknown rules in Kyoto and Kyoto ppl are difficult but trust me they are nice. Those examples he said is typical traditional Kyoto ppl not many of them are like that so older ppl are more like those.
3:14 Wow, my years of training speaking Minnesotan has an application outside of the Midwest United States. Howard Mohr's book and TV skit once again proves its worth.
Lol so no one means what they say, and everything is rude. I'm glad I stuck to the more touristy spots where people are probably accustomed to foreigners that don't know the rules.
Here in Northeastern Brazil we have a ōkini case with our word for thank you (obrigado) too, which is something I also got quite shocked after learning it. I find it interesting how different cultures may have similar tidbits here and there.
Just a funny fact for your general knowledge, your Portuguese 'obrigado' is the base of the Japanese 'arigato'. The word was introduced in Japan by the Portuguese and it has been used since. Of course Japan had a 'thank you' already (actually more than one) but imagine the number of Portuguese people being around there at that time and for that long that their 'thank you' became part of the Japanese language.
Thanks for this video! I stayed in Kyoto 5 years ago to study, and mostly interacted with Japanese students from other places in Japan while in Kyoto, so I didn't encounter these scenarios. I also never tried using "okini", since I just tried speaking my intermediate-level Japanese lol.
Thank goodness when visiting Japan in college, a housemate whose family whose family came Kyoto served as a guide. Though my Japanese was that of a high schooler, I paid attention closely and followed her lead in every situation. I listened attentively while following the conversation to pick up on social cues. Yes, okini in Kyoto is exactly how the video presenter explains. Yes, one must twice refuse what's offered. Yes, definitely restaurant etiquette rules apply or else no one will allow your host to return to them. Ever.
I love Kyoto. It make you think very hard of what you're doing. I remember when a man ask Jesus, teach me manner. He said " What's hurting you, it's hurt others."
In Brazil, we also use 'thank you' to say 'no, thank you'. Besides that, here people in general avoid to be taken as harsh and then say what they want to actually say in an indirect way.
@Ar Zh As far as I know, Japanese immigration to Brazil started at the beginning of 1900's motivated by economical reasons. Back then Brazil needed people to work on agriculture and both countries made an agreement. Later on, by the end of 1900's, the Japanese government started to allow Brazilians that are Japanese descendants to more easily go to work on Japan.
thank you very much! the additional informations were a great surprise (and I mean it not in Kyoto, but very much literal way:) your work is very helpful 🙏
the more I watch these videos the more I appreciate our latin culture lol… In my country you can meet a friend for the first time in the morning and by the afternoon we are already having asado (barbecue) like friends of all life with the family in our casa (home) “mi casa tu casa”
Wow!! I just found your channel and I'm going through all your videos!! I love them and it's always nice to learn something new!! Love Japan so much 💖 Greetings from Italy. ありがとうございます
Always insightful videos! Thank you for sharing your personal experiences at the end of the video. Your omake talks really give your viewers a better understanding of what they could run into if they worked in Japan.
Thanks so much for this advice. I didn’t know about refusing twice etiquette and just accepted whatever was offered to me lol. Also, I always accepted any compliments that were given to me but I noticed that Japanese people appear humble whenever they are given compliments. The restaurant etiquette, however, seems very counterproductive to me especially in this day and age when people are very busy and need to get out of the restaurant as soon as they can to move to another appointment or meeting. I understand the intentions behind this gesture but I feel that it should not be expected of customers who may or may not have enough time to stay at the restaurant. It’s a good gesture, nonetheless. Thank you.
Lol these silent "rules" is making my head ache. Back in the philippines, I cant accept an offer right away, but during my internship I was told that to decline an offer is an insult. BTW i cam from seppuku and harakiri vid as well, then I binged 😂
Thank you for sharing this very very interesting video, I am surprised that these traditions have so much in common with middle eastern culture with slight difference. I am quite sure many of them will agree with me. Keep up the good work
I'm French, but I've been raised with many of these rules. Because of this, some of my friends got offended, because I always refused food from them. I thought they were only asking to be polite, and they thought I was keeping my distance. Fortunately, some of my closest friends have been raised the same way, so we understand each other better.
I would say most of Asia (India and eastword) is like this (not a bad thing at all). I’m from Pune (was a royal seat and is culturally important) and (in)famous for everything u attribute to Kyoto
That video (harakiri vs seppuku) was very enlightening, so are your other videos :) That was my first video of yours, I’m glad to have found your channel!
I would love to live and work in Kyoto, I'm a high school English teacher and am learning Japanese. I've been travelling to Japan for over a decade, having visited Kyoto twice, I absolutely love the city! I would be willing to learn these conversation skills if that means I can live and work in Kyoto, it's a little bit intimidating but I find them very interesting. Thank you for this channel, all of your videos are very interesting and I'll be watching closely!
I been watching your videos for a few weeks now, really great stuff. I can't believe you don't have more subscribers. Keep up the great work! (unlike Kyoto residents I really do mean that sincerely)
I actually learned these before I moved to Japan from my Japanese language teacher. Living in Kyoto was very different than living in Tokyo. Even though I'm a big city person, I did like the laid back feeling of Kyoto.
Oh my goodness. I would be arrested my FIRST DAY in Kyoto! I may be too much of a cowboy to survive in a place like this, even temporarily. At least he's honest about the downside. The upside of Kyoto is obvious. It is beautiful. And I really like it when all the people congregate in the street in traditional garb. It seems exciting, but also a little mysterious because there is obvious meaning behind the festivities.
If in Malaysia 🇲🇾, sweeping more than 30cm, if the neighbors want to sweep the house, the host feels comfortable and happy that is the fact in Malaysia, there are Japanese people living in Malaysia
I very like Your videos! In Poland we have similar behaviours. Especially with saying "no", when somebody offers us somethink. We often say "no, thank you, I don't want to do a problem" etc, when we actually want somethink. So we have conversations like You show in video. :] And in Poland often we don't say not nice think directly. We try to say it in "soft" way. And I was talking My Mom about these rules after watching Your Video. When I started to talk why it's 30 cm, she says ,without exmplain, without watching this viedo, that more could be rude, and means that somebody doesn't clean. :D
Honestly, not standing out and not revealing my own opinion is already kind part of my own personality, but I am pretty introverted. I visited as a tourist in 2001 and honestly I miss it a lot. I know its probably very quiet in Kyoto now because of the pandemic and I would love to visit again someday to help quietly liven it up. I miss the culture the people and the full experience.I miss the Heian temple the Kiyomizu Temple and the natural beauty of the city.
Thank you, l loved it, it made me smile. l agree that it is very difficult how to deal with the natives in Kyoto if l live there. l suppose l would offend everyone there so there would talk a lot about behind my back. but l find it amusing.
All of this makes sense to me. It's all very subtle, but subtlety is a kind of art of its own. It's interesting how many cultures in the world have a history of aristocracies with sophisticated social rules.
As a Brazilian I can say that we also say one thing and think another. It is considered impolite to openly deny requests. If someone invites you to a birthday party you will accept, but you may not show up for the day and make up some excuse. When someone offers you something you can also respond with "thank you" and mean you don't want it.
Intriguing! The refusal part sounds a lot like Iran's "taarof" culture descriptions (I've never been, but every time I heard the description it sounded so much like Kyoto manners.)
As a straightforward person, i wouldn't survive a second in Kyoto
Same. Sounds miserable.
Same here
Italians would suffer at Kyoto
@@jeffsfolio Japan overall is an extremely contextual society where a lot of meaning is derived from the context (relationship between the communicators, private vs. business, etc.) a communication takes place in rather than what is actually said and concepts such as "saving face" are of extreme importance. It's not miserable.. it's just different. Though granted, for you as a straight-forward individual it might be miserable or at least take some getting used to, hah. ^^ I just think calling it "miserable" overall is a bit harsh.
Yup
So basically Kyoto culture is the anxiety voice in my head
Yass 😭
Yes. Same...
Yeahhhh
This was almost exactly what I thought too. Haha. Great. So this is city that basically embodies my paranoid self-consciousness.
omg lol so true
Well Kyoto gives the saying "The nail that sticks out gets hammered in" a whole new meaning.
Greetings from Night City
That idiom always made me wonder how they hung paintings on walls if they didn't leave the nails sticking out a bit?
@@ladybookworms by glue🤣😉
As a straightforward person who firmly believes that life is stressful enough without unnecessary drama, Kyoto would hate me because I refuse to entertain any drama.
The irony is that being unnecessarily rude is considered 'Drama' by most. The whole point for them is to avoid confrontation/drama.
@@alicecuriosityoftenleadsto6288 More like it's drama to them because they're not used to being openly challenged.
In trying to be “kind” they seem to have created a culture that lacks sincerity.
I`m Dutch and have a girlfriend in Kyoto,. Dutch are notorious for beeing direct and sincere.. Once i can visit after corona i`ll be so scared to make mistakes and make myself look like a fool. Gonna read up!
Well said👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@@Melinmingle foreigners, especially caucasian ones get a free pass for most possible "mistakes" anyways, nobody will fault you for most stuff as long as you're trying, though you may get glances and people talking behind your back, but hey the latter happens everywhere in the world anyways. anyways, if u look distinctively "foreign" you can just be at ease honestly
@@rzt430 True i`ve lived in the czech republic and was foreign enough to get the talks behind my back and the stares.
As for Japan,. Just dont want them to mistake my directness for barbarism when its just practical. The pass i get feels like a shitty prize when they think "Ah the barbaric foreigner cant help himself".
Anyways i may be worrying to much on leaving a good impression with the girlfriend. Thanks for your reply
@@Melinmingle don't worry, her parents will never say "ignore the loud baka gaijin" to your face.
I'm from Osaka which is right next to Kyoto
and wow I learn so much from your videos!
Thank you so much!
Love your videos, too, Shun! They couldn’t be more different than Shogo’s!
Oh, i learnt the word "okini" from your latest video then i learnt it has different connotation in kyoto 😂😂
if i'll go to kyoto i'll make sure to randomly clean some houses and if owners come out and say something i'll reply "okini shogo yamaguchi sensei"
Wooa shun :D
Is there a rivalry between each cities?
When people "Don't say what they mean" this happens everywhere. There are people who will say what they think regardless who they offend and there are people who don't want to hurt other people feelings or appear mean to them. Most culture values "niceness" over truth in many cases. But it creates more miscommunication which has the potential to create more problems.
In here in Philippines some people say things with no direct meaning.. but their facial expression is like faking it so you'll know immediately..😂😂😂
Isn't it kinda funny that while in an attempt to be polite in their culture, the double speak is super rude in another culture.
It's practically passive aggressive here in America.
i was just thinking that same thing lol
@@midgetwthahacksaw Yep, I was thinking this video makes people in Kyoto sound like complete passive aggressive A-holes.
@@midgetwthahacksaw No no, it *is* passive aggression here, or at least condescension. I guess that's just how subjective the world we live in is, right? One thing is seen as polite somewhere, in another entirely different place it's extremely rude.
@@alisonrobbins1126 Japanese here. Some Japanese think that about Kyoko people too. They have a reputation within Japan
So the people in Kyoto are basically an high maintenance girlfriend. "I like this" means "meh" and thank you means "I hate this"... as an Italian who's always direct, this feels like a nightmare ahahah. We also have the okini situation tho, and the refuse, but only once or twice
Either me as an indonesian lol
it depends, also Italian here but in my small town the situation is identical to Kyoto lol (and it's a nightmare of course)
@@banyalaplace phew, i'm italian too and i started being scared like "OMG was i kyoto dweller in my previous life maybe???" :'-D
Most of us have a thing in the UK (feel like it’s more of a northern thing though) where we don’t just say “we’ve got to leave now” when at someone’s house, there’s a weird ritual of waiting for just the right moment of a topic coming to an end and everyone stopping talking, for you to slap you knees, smile and say “right then!”, stand up and then everyone knows you’re ready to leave. You miss that opportunity and you’re stuck/held hostage until the next one comes along.
It’s the least questionable and polite way of leaving imo, as it creates a mild sense of urgency without interrupting and doesn’t invite to many questions (if any) as to why you’re leaving thus possibly causing you to awkwardly make up a reason for trying to escape 😂
Also saying sorry for everything even if it’s not really your fault/the other person is actually being a hinderance.
also saying "i won't keep you" Or "i'm sure you're busy, so i won't waste any more of your time" are both coded way of saying 'i'm going'.
Oh, I live in the midwest of the U.S. and it's exactly the same here. Stuck in conversation until you can find a moment to politely see your way out of it. We suffer from "I'm halfway out the door, but still talking to you even though I said I would be leaving." which can get awkward. On the flip side, you also get guests who just won't let you leave even though you've grabbed all your stuff and are slipping your shoes back on. Makes it hard to figure out if you're being rude or not.
Getting to "second base" in Kyoto must be quite an adventure. Talk about mixed signals, lol.
Easier to just assume everyone is hostile.
(No, I'm not paranoid, _you're_ paranoid! 🤪)
No watch? Say “wow. That’s a nice clock app on your phone!”
Super passive aggressive lol
Lol
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hahhaha you are so cute
"Buts its in my pocket, you can't see...oh..."
I can imagine going into fancy quiet restaurant and get stuck until it closes 😄
Well, if it's fancy, why is it so empty?)
As a person who likes anime and parts of Japanese culture while i never really cared of living in Japan i alwasy wanted to visit once or twice. However the more i learn about other parts of Japanese culture the more i think of never setting foot there. Im way too direct for this.
If you're going to visit, nothing is going to happen lol. Japanese people are homo sapiens too, you know.
Visiting is different than living there full time. It's still fun to visit!
I went to Kyoto and everybody was sooo nice ! Mayby they hated me in secret 🙃
@@Roxar96 lol😂
literally my situation
It seems frustrating but it’s also a good way to maintain some semblance of public politeness and peace. You have to actually pay attention to someone to understand how they’re feeling.
Japan seems like a crazy place, I want to go anyway!
Many of these rules are very similar to the more old school ways of the Southeast US, especially the backhanded compliments.
I just found your videos 2 days ago while researching aspects of Japanese culture and history for a short story I am writing. Even if I never published the story, I try to be as accurate as possible and use as much as the real history as I can find. This has been helping keep my historical interpretation muscles in shape during my lockdowns. Thank you for providing such rich content.
Kyoto’s passive aggressiveness is on a whole new level. I feel this on a spiritual level.
I've been living in Kyoto for 4 years now and I never really thought deeply about these things. Though, it's amusing to meet people from Hyogo and Osaka who say how cold and uptight Kyotoites are.
I guess it is more of "what sort of districts" you live in rather than what city you live in. As of early to mid 21st Century, I feel the power of global socioeconomy is simply too huge in large cities all over the world, of course including Kyoto. In large cities, you can survive without making LITERALLY any contacts whatsoever with the neighbors, so long as your house is not located in traditional communal districts. So, for instance, if you are a Kyoto University student living in a foreign student apartment, then life is probably pretty similar to that in other cities in Japan. On the other hand, if you live in Gion 祇園 or districts like that, then the implicit rules explained in this video are probably very real.
I feel that this channel should also explain that Kyoto City is a megalopolice with the population of 1.5 million, extremely closely connected with Osaka in terms of commuting via shin-kaisoku and such. It is pretty different from small traditional towns you may find in Europe. Otherwise, the foreign viewers may have the impression that Kyoto is some bizarre isolated city with only tourist attracting phenomena.
@@decidrophob Thanks for clarifying. What was said _did_ make it sound like Kyoto was some kind of Innsmouth without the influence of the Deep Ones.
I've watched a couple of your videos about the people of Kyoto and I find it really endearing. Kyoto is like that old aunt in the family that is sarcastic, sassy, and passive-aggressive. I kind of like it. The behavior does stem from politeness so I do believe it is justifiable. I know many cultures that do the same to not burden or annoy others.
How can one live in a city like Kyoto where there is a risk of offending someone at every turn? This is so stressful.
You learn from your mistakes same as any other culture in the world
America:
Simple. You don't live in Kyoto.
As a midwest American we love inviting people to our homes, offering them food and drink and some times even a gift! I would be so hurt in Kyoto. I'd probably cry...
If a Kyoto native visited you, _they_ might cry from you unintentionally holding them hostage with kindness 😅
I wouldn't last, I would have a nervous breakdown
Jokes on you ! A clan in my family bloodline has a habit of doing most of these ( I'm from that clan aswell! )
This is like the Midwestern US on steroids! Passive aggression to the max.
And Animes most of the characters are like this
I lived in Japan for 4 years and I appreciate your explanation of the 'expensive restaurant rules', the 'sweeping your front steps, hidden meanings of words (hints) and the 'okini' explanation. Thank you very much.
It was a very interesting video. I stayed in Tokyo for over a year, and in Kyoto just for a month. As a visitor, I found the people in Kyoto are more lively and friendly than those in Tokyo. Would you also cover the difference between people in Kyoto and Tokyo one day?
Shogo sensei, your content is much more deeper than of those gaijin youtubers. You deserve a steep increase of subscribers.
While i too congratulate this man, i cant help but sense a peppering of spite in your comment. “Those” gaijin? Lol whatever.
It is sad that some people cannot understand there are people who love Japan but don’t live there and want to learn more about it. A closed mind is not good for anyone.
Well, isn’t Shogo a native, so instinctively, he would have more deeper knowledge about said topics in japan than gaijins 🤔
yhe..."those gaijin" sounded kinda rude there though
This video made me think of how we say "How are you?" or "How's it goin'?" in the US. Unless you are friends, family, or coworkers or something, most strangers don't ask those questions to hear anything more than an "I'm doing well" or "I'm okay." (Though, I'm one of those people that unnecessarily hates these kind of questions and will therefore only say "How are you?" if I really want to know how they are doing. If I'm not trying to improve/strengthen a relationship with the person, I just resort to the classic and timeless "hello," "howdy," or "''sup," or "good to see you.")
Or the upwards head nod. 🤣🤣
I laughed so loud at the watch thing 😂 as an european knowing that this phrase has this meaning is like the most passive aggressive backhanded compliment i can imagine and i absolutely love it! 😂😂
The closest thing to this we have in the American English is what we call Southern Lady Code. There's a lot of hidden meanings and subtle communications (ie, the phrase "Bless your heart" is absolutely an insult).
This is true...
i've come to find out that this depends on the context. If it's a response to someone being hurt doing something stupid and the injury isn't serious, then it's definitely an insult.
If it's a response to someone getting seriously hurt, it's often said as a form of condolence for the family of the person if the individual died, or both the person AND the family if the person survived.
I've heard it used in both sincere and insincere contexts many times.
Very considerate to other people. It’s good to sense other people’s feelings without being too selfish.
We are very blunt in the Caribbean! But we have the “thank you “ habit at home. We say please to accept and thank you to refuse politely.
Please check out my other video about "Why Japan hates Kyoto", to find out why the people of Kyoto are like this!
th-cam.com/video/9wPlO1FKy8U/w-d-xo.html
The "okini" thing kind of exists in English as well. Like when a waiter asks you "would you like to order dessert ...?", you could say "Alright, thanks!" to affirm it, or "We're alright, thanks." to politely refuse.
"I'm good, thanks"
Those sentences do have two very different meanings in english though. "Alright" is basically a synonym for "yes" as an interjection (though it usually denotes less enthusiasm, especially with a rise-fall intonation), but as an adjective it means something similar to "satisfactory" or "adequate". It kind of works very similarly to "OK".
yep, this concludes that the people of Japan, especially Kyoto, are psychics.
This indirect discourse, in which one cannot take what is said literally and has to interpret the underlying meaning, is so reminiscent of widespread habits of speech in England!
Yeah, it reminds me a lot of the UK haha.
How do you not go crazy in such a place?
You were always so good in explaining things clearly, and it's obvious that you like to share your knowledge with everyone you can. It's amazing how last week I was thinking about our last trip to Kyoto and wondered how our sensei in the Kyoto Samurai Experience was doing, and now I find that you have your own youtube channel. Amazing !
Keep it up and thanks so much!
Seems so complicated to live in Kyoto 😱
Hello, nice to meet you. I am a French woman. I have visited Kyoto many times. in fact, I love the city. but my Japanese best friend who now lives in France says the locals can be mean and it looks like an inner circle. and she is from Nara lol. Actually, we went to a yukata rental place. the owner seemed more cold to her than to me (being a foreigner). I am not fluent in Japanese, so I cannot tell the how they talk to one another. but I suppose Kyoto locals recognize other locals or tourists from Japan. As a foreigner, the more I visited Kyoto over the years the more it had changed with tourists acting very badly (especially terrible chinese people...never seen this before...) and overall too crowded. I sometimes feel sorry for the locals. I think people from Kansai like more Osaka. I would like to explore more Uji. Thanks for your videos and happy new year!
I'm planning on living in Kyoto after I retire from the Military in the US. I used to live in Japan in Tokyo. I learned something new but very helpful thank you for this. Very educational.
OMG I got stress from just thinking about these rules. Ppl in Kyoto would definitely think I'm a horrible neighbor. Thank God I lived on Tokyo.
Very interesting! I live in Osaka but I’d love to live in Kyoto, even with these issues. It’s so much more charming than Osaka.
the part about asking how someone's job is going as only a greeting and not caring about the real answer reminds me a lot of how we greet each other here in the UK. we typically say "you alright?" instead of "hello", but it's kind of an unspoken rule that you must reply that you're fine, or "not too bad". no one wants to know if you're actually not alright, and replying with that would probably create some shocked faces and awkward silences!
I met a guy online who said he found 'how are you?' intrusive. I said 'actually nobody wants to know how you are, so get over yourself'
@@geoffreycurrie5949 cringe
Kyoto city is my home and I love my home. I feel like there are many unknown rules in Kyoto and Kyoto ppl are difficult but trust me they are nice. Those examples he said is typical traditional Kyoto ppl not many of them are like that so older ppl are more like those.
He speaks such good English. I love his voice.
I really love the way you make your videos, please keep going!!! You will reach your goals
3:14 Wow, my years of training speaking Minnesotan has an application outside of the Midwest United States. Howard Mohr's book and TV skit once again proves its worth.
Lol so no one means what they say, and everything is rude. I'm glad I stuck to the more touristy spots where people are probably accustomed to foreigners that don't know the rules.
haha that's right!
Here in Northeastern Brazil we have a ōkini case with our word for thank you (obrigado) too, which is something I also got quite shocked after learning it. I find it interesting how different cultures may have similar tidbits here and there.
Just a funny fact for your general knowledge, your Portuguese 'obrigado' is the base of the Japanese 'arigato'. The word was introduced in Japan by the Portuguese and it has been used since. Of course Japan had a 'thank you' already (actually more than one) but imagine the number of Portuguese people being around there at that time and for that long that their 'thank you' became part of the Japanese language.
Thanks for this video! I stayed in Kyoto 5 years ago to study, and mostly interacted with Japanese students from other places in Japan while in Kyoto, so I didn't encounter these scenarios. I also never tried using "okini", since I just tried speaking my intermediate-level Japanese lol.
I live in Kyoto for a year back in 1996-97 when I went to Kyoto Geidai. Really enjoyed that year.
After seeing you videos, I love Kyoto people much more 🔝
This is both super informative and funny! Thank you!
Thank goodness when visiting Japan in college, a housemate whose family whose family came Kyoto served as a guide. Though my Japanese was that of a high schooler, I paid attention closely and followed her lead in every situation. I listened attentively while following the conversation to pick up on social cues. Yes, okini in Kyoto is exactly how the video presenter explains. Yes, one must twice refuse what's offered. Yes, definitely restaurant etiquette rules apply or else no one will allow your host to return to them. Ever.
A precision culture, all things with purpose and proper execution to show mutual respect ...
And rules against things you might like doing.
So now this video makes me look back at all my conversations with my Japanese clients. What an epic blunder.
I love Kyoto. It make you think very hard of what you're doing.
I remember when a man ask Jesus, teach me manner. He said " What's hurting you, it's hurt others."
In Brazil, we also use 'thank you' to say 'no, thank you'. Besides that, here people in general avoid to be taken as harsh and then say what they want to actually say in an indirect way.
Is this why Brazil has many Japanese immigrants? Never knew there were similarities in the culture😅
@Ar Zh As far as I know, Japanese immigration to Brazil started at the beginning of 1900's motivated by economical reasons. Back then Brazil needed people to work on agriculture and both countries made an agreement. Later on, by the end of 1900's, the Japanese government started to allow Brazilians that are Japanese descendants to more easily go to work on Japan.
thank you very much!
the additional informations were a great surprise (and I mean it not in Kyoto, but very much literal way:) your work is very helpful 🙏
the more I watch these videos the more I appreciate our latin culture lol… In my country you can meet a friend for the first time in the morning and by the afternoon we are already having asado (barbecue) like friends of all life with the family in our casa (home) “mi casa tu casa”
"Turn down offers at least twice".
I immediately remember about Diamante and Doflamingo from One Piece
Thank you Shogo-san for this wonderful video !
Lol. This is gold! The nuances are so intriguing.
Wow!! I just found your channel and I'm going through all your videos!! I love them and it's always nice to learn something new!! Love Japan so much 💖 Greetings from Italy. ありがとうございます
Always insightful videos! Thank you for sharing your personal experiences at the end of the video. Your omake talks really give your viewers a better understanding of what they could run into if they worked in Japan.
Thanks so much for this advice. I didn’t know about refusing twice etiquette and just accepted whatever was offered to me lol. Also, I always accepted any compliments that were given to me but I noticed that Japanese people appear humble whenever they are given compliments. The restaurant etiquette, however, seems very counterproductive to me especially in this day and age when people are very busy and need to get out of the restaurant as soon as they can to move to another appointment or meeting. I understand the intentions behind this gesture but I feel that it should not be expected of customers who may or may not have enough time to stay at the restaurant. It’s a good gesture, nonetheless. Thank you.
I would happily visit Kyoto for 4 weeks per year as a tourist. Every year.
Lol these silent "rules" is making my head ache. Back in the philippines, I cant accept an offer right away, but during my internship I was told that to decline an offer is an insult.
BTW i cam from seppuku and harakiri vid as well, then I binged 😂
Yep, its taught that its offending here to decline an invitation. Probably because filipinos mean what they say.
Спасибо вам за видео. Вы очень просто и доступно объясняете сложные для иностранцев понятия. Мы всегда с интересом ждем новых видео.
I was torn between going to Kyoto or Barcelona,ill definitely go to Barcelona,
This looks complicated,less fuss in Barcelona
Absolutely adore your content! What a gem! Thank you so very much 🙂
Thank you for sharing this very very interesting video, I am surprised that these traditions have so much in common with middle eastern culture with slight difference. I am quite sure many of them will agree with me. Keep up the good work
I'm French, but I've been raised with many of these rules. Because of this, some of my friends got offended, because I always refused food from them. I thought they were only asking to be polite, and they thought I was keeping my distance. Fortunately, some of my closest friends have been raised the same way, so we understand each other better.
I would say most of Asia (India and eastword) is like this (not a bad thing at all). I’m from Pune (was a royal seat and is culturally important) and (in)famous for everything u attribute to Kyoto
That video (harakiri vs seppuku) was very enlightening, so are your other videos :) That was my first video of yours, I’m glad to have found your channel!
I would love to live and work in Kyoto, I'm a high school English teacher and am learning Japanese. I've been travelling to Japan for over a decade, having visited Kyoto twice, I absolutely love the city! I would be willing to learn these conversation skills if that means I can live and work in Kyoto, it's a little bit intimidating but I find them very interesting. Thank you for this channel, all of your videos are very interesting and I'll be watching closely!
I been watching your videos for a few weeks now, really great stuff. I can't believe you don't have more subscribers. Keep up the great work! (unlike Kyoto residents I really do mean that sincerely)
I actually learned these before I moved to Japan from my Japanese language teacher. Living in Kyoto was very different than living in Tokyo. Even though I'm a big city person, I did like the laid back feeling of Kyoto.
Oh my goodness. I would be arrested my FIRST DAY in Kyoto! I may be too much of a cowboy to survive in a place like this, even temporarily. At least he's honest about the downside. The upside of Kyoto is obvious. It is beautiful. And I really like it when all the people congregate in the street in traditional garb. It seems exciting, but also a little mysterious because there is obvious meaning behind the festivities.
You see some of this in the southern US. Outsiders think we’re dishonest but we’re really just being super polite.
Isn't southern hospitality a thing in the US?
If in Malaysia 🇲🇾, sweeping more than 30cm, if the neighbors want to sweep the house, the host feels comfortable and happy that is the fact in Malaysia, there are Japanese people living in Malaysia
you just gained a follower, I love your energy!
You must be so patient to be able to follow and remember all these rules..I would probably forget some of these from time to time.
I very like Your videos! In Poland we have similar behaviours. Especially with saying "no", when somebody offers us somethink. We often say "no, thank you, I don't want to do a problem" etc, when we actually want somethink. So we have conversations like You show in video. :] And in Poland often we don't say not nice think directly. We try to say it in "soft" way. And I was talking My Mom about these rules after watching Your Video. When I started to talk why it's 30 cm, she says ,without exmplain, without watching this viedo, that more could be rude, and means that somebody doesn't clean. :D
Very interesting vid. Insight into Kyoto social dynamics.
You won't believe how many times I rolled my eyes & sigh... 😤😤😤
I am never going to kyoto this video just gave me chills thinking about the person who visited kyoto for the first time
Honestly, not standing out and not revealing my own opinion is already kind part of my own personality, but I am pretty introverted. I visited as a tourist in 2001 and honestly I miss it a lot. I know its probably very quiet in Kyoto now because of the pandemic and I would love to visit again someday to help quietly liven it up. I miss the culture the people and the full experience.I miss the Heian temple the Kiyomizu Temple and the natural beauty of the city.
Thank you, l loved it, it made me smile. l agree that it is very difficult how to deal with the natives in Kyoto if l live there. l suppose l would offend everyone there so there would talk a lot about behind my back. but l find it amusing.
All of this makes sense to me. It's all very subtle, but subtlety is a kind of art of its own. It's interesting how many cultures in the world have a history of aristocracies with sophisticated social rules.
Ecchi Shiyou
“Oh! No thank you!”
Ecchi Shiyou! :)
“Oh! Sorry, I’m not-“
Ecchi Shiyou! :)
*Nervous sweating*
Voiced by filthy frank
Hah hacks
I found your channel today and omg I am learning so much ! Good work :)
Thank you for this video ! I would visit to kyoto and other prefecture to Japan as well someday too !😊😊😊😁😁😁
Loving this channel. Can't believe I didn't find it till now.
I plan to live in Kyoto for several months. It alright, I’m Asian myself and I’m a quiet person.
As a Brazilian I can say that we also say one thing and think another. It is considered impolite to openly deny requests. If someone invites you to a birthday party you will accept, but you may not show up for the day and make up some excuse. When someone offers you something you can also respond with "thank you" and mean you don't want it.
Love your videos, so glad I found your channel instant sub! I passed the Kyoto quiz too, I felt to happy lol.
Intriguing! The refusal part sounds a lot like Iran's "taarof" culture descriptions (I've never been, but every time I heard the description it sounded so much like Kyoto manners.)