this was such a great INTERESTING topic and comparison for prospective parents! thank you so much for your creativity as a content creator on this topic
🌟 Hi Katie!! I am currently fostering, and appreciate this contrast. You often don't know the timeframe for fostering and reunification so it can be a matter of just providing a calm and steady home for as long as needed. I would add that foster parents also think about the quality of the childhood -- whether the stay is short or medium or long, you want kids to leave your home with some good memories, maybe some new skills, and some enriched experiences, that remain with them.
Yes! I think the unknowns of how much time you have would add to that pressure as well…you don’t know how much time you have to make a positive change in their lives. Thanks for sharing your perspective as a foster parent! 😊
I was in foster care for 6 years and aged out, and most of that time it was clear that reunification with my mom was impossible (she had become disabled) and my dad was deceased. What I don't think people understand is how many older kids and teen are in foster care long term after reunification isn't possible and get moved from place to place and usually then into group homes. I was in at least 3 foster homes who probably were foster to adopt and I really didn't fit and I was moved. I didn't want to be adopted either. Two of those homes were really religious (one family the dad was a pastor) and I really had turned against religious and told them I didn't want to go to church and I didn't believe in God. You'd think that it wouldn't have been a big deal if I was just there for 2-3 years until I aged out. But I think they looked at it as whether they wanted me in their families long term and said "nope". I didn't want to be a part of their family, but being moved ultimately to a terrible group home was detrimental. The options for older kids/teens in care who can't be reunified are limited and most foster parents don't want to do guardianships unless it's a kinship situation. Most older kids/teens don't want to be adopted even if they are technically able to be adopted. What you're talking about is really what happens with kids under 5-7, not older kids/teens in foster care who end up in long term foster care where it's clear they will age out (which with extended foster care isn't at 18 now). Guardianships are the other options to adoption that provide more permanency than PPLA (or similar names for essentially long term foster care with the goal of aging out).
It makes sense why you wouldn’t want to be adopted, but I’m so sorry you experienced that from the pastor and his family. That is heartbreaking that they would “give up” on you just because you didn’t share their beliefs. My husband is a pastor, and obviously we share our faith with our kids…but if they ever turned their back on faith, we would still love and care for them. Just as one would to their biological kids…it is awful to hear they did that to you. I have definitely heard of situations where teens choose not to be adopted, and I also know of families who adopted teens who had really wanted that and seem happy in their families. I would imagine it would be hard to jump into a new family when you had already spent so much time with your biological family and in foster care. Thanks for sharing your story ❤️
I’m adopting from foster care. We decided to adopt (instead of fostering) because my current kids thrive on consistency and stability. Foster care has a lot of transitions that they would really struggle with. I like this video. Good topic. One of my concerns is how to help the child not feel the disparity between themselves and my current children so much.
⭐we're an age of majority placement - hardest of both worlds! Thank you for that perspective though, I hadn't really thought about it but YES, the pressure of forever is real.
this was such a great INTERESTING topic and comparison for prospective parents! thank you so much for your creativity as a content creator on this topic
🌟 Hi Katie!! I am currently fostering, and appreciate this contrast. You often don't know the timeframe for fostering and reunification so it can be a matter of just providing a calm and steady home for as long as needed. I would add that foster parents also think about the quality of the childhood -- whether the stay is short or medium or long, you want kids to leave your home with some good memories, maybe some new skills, and some enriched experiences, that remain with them.
Yes! I think the unknowns of how much time you have would add to that pressure as well…you don’t know how much time you have to make a positive change in their lives. Thanks for sharing your perspective as a foster parent! 😊
I appreciate your videos so much! Did you go through a private or public agency?
We went through a private agency!
That red shirt looks so pretty on you!
Aww, thank you! 😊
One of the children (sibling group)we are hoping to adopt is 13. I feel like we have missed so much of his life already. ⭐
In some ways you have, but our oldest came to us at 10 and I was blown away by how many “firsts” we got to experience with her still :)
I was in foster care for 6 years and aged out, and most of that time it was clear that reunification with my mom was impossible (she had become disabled) and my dad was deceased. What I don't think people understand is how many older kids and teen are in foster care long term after reunification isn't possible and get moved from place to place and usually then into group homes. I was in at least 3 foster homes who probably were foster to adopt and I really didn't fit and I was moved. I didn't want to be adopted either. Two of those homes were really religious (one family the dad was a pastor) and I really had turned against religious and told them I didn't want to go to church and I didn't believe in God. You'd think that it wouldn't have been a big deal if I was just there for 2-3 years until I aged out. But I think they looked at it as whether they wanted me in their families long term and said "nope". I didn't want to be a part of their family, but being moved ultimately to a terrible group home was detrimental. The options for older kids/teens in care who can't be reunified are limited and most foster parents don't want to do guardianships unless it's a kinship situation. Most older kids/teens don't want to be adopted even if they are technically able to be adopted. What you're talking about is really what happens with kids under 5-7, not older kids/teens in foster care who end up in long term foster care where it's clear they will age out (which with extended foster care isn't at 18 now). Guardianships are the other options to adoption that provide more permanency than PPLA (or similar names for essentially long term foster care with the goal of aging out).
It makes sense why you wouldn’t want to be adopted, but I’m so sorry you experienced that from the pastor and his family. That is heartbreaking that they would “give up” on you just because you didn’t share their beliefs. My husband is a pastor, and obviously we share our faith with our kids…but if they ever turned their back on faith, we would still love and care for them. Just as one would to their biological kids…it is awful to hear they did that to you. I have definitely heard of situations where teens choose not to be adopted, and I also know of families who adopted teens who had really wanted that and seem happy in their families. I would imagine it would be hard to jump into a new family when you had already spent so much time with your biological family and in foster care. Thanks for sharing your story ❤️
I’m adopting from foster care. We decided to adopt (instead of fostering) because my current kids thrive on consistency and stability. Foster care has a lot of transitions that they would really struggle with.
I like this video. Good topic.
One of my concerns is how to help the child not feel the disparity between themselves and my current children so much.
I will put that on my list of video ideas because that’s a great topic!
⭐Great video and very timely for me.
⭐ ahaha, good video Katie
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⭐we're an age of majority placement - hardest of both worlds! Thank you for that perspective though, I hadn't really thought about it but YES, the pressure of forever is real.
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