Biggest takeaway is if you have 'good boredom ' then you can use it to make a bit of progress. 'Sexy Boredom' 😅. Don't use it to scroll mindlessly on social media etc! These short videos are good. Many of us find the long ones way too long. Thanks Toby
What are the short videos are they the ones on U tube ? I used to watch them but the endings weren't very good . Yes i agree tho endless scrolling is the worst thing sitting there mindlessly scrolling and then realising its the fatigue . Im wondering if the antidepressants have caused a lot of this. Iv been feeling a lot better since i got treatment for vertigo.
This is great advice. My main takeaway is that if setting goals and sticking to routines is necessary for finding a baseline, then those of us with ADHD are in a bit of a pickle. Because not procrastinating and getting tasks done and sticking to routines and remembering when to do things are really difficult for us. Well, frequent covid reinfections don't help either. They've made me worse and worse over the last year, even though I feel like I have a pretty good handle on recovery tools and mindset. I'm having a really hard time finding a baseline since my last reinfection, which was about 5 weeks ago.
That bad boredom is an expression of the freeze response. The best thing to do is find something that generates even a little bit of joy. And it usually requires some type of stimulating behaviour. Because in freeze, calm is up the polyvagl ladder.
Wow, thank you for this question and thank you to Toby for answering it. I haven't worked in over a year now, I'm constantly bored but too tired to do anything plus have lost interest in everything to do it anyway. Depression has now over taken my tiredness. Thank you again for this video Toby 🌻
Thank you Toby, this is what we needed today. Lost my way a bit with menopause symptoms, now whole new ball game, but some overlaps, and I need to think about a way forward again. This helps greatly thank you 💗
What if you really can not do anything and all light and noisecancelling is too much 24/7 in bed and even going to wc 🚽 is making it worse and I can not do it less .. I can not Watch this but only one minute in a good day. My husband typed thus
I'm so sorry. I hope watching other videos on this channel (or maybe if you can't, your husband doing it) will help. If you have the funds, the program might help you. I wish I could afford it but cannot. I wish you luck.
Hi, i’m so sorry to hear that. I know how tough it is I have been where you have been. I was there for quite awhile. The best thing you can do is to find specialist help like Toby or somebody else who knows what they’re talking about. You need to put a routine and structure in place and start working on your baseline. There is even a baseline for someone at your level. My baseline started with just taking three steps to the toilet and three steps back. From there, I am now walking. Stay positive and don’t suffer alone, get the right help! If your doctor is not helping you, it is only because he or she doesn’t understand what to do. Sending you lots of love and hope ❤
i understand her, because for example if i can doing a 5 minutes exercise and then i need to rest because my muscles get to weak and to heavy i am then lying down in bed, and after all i did to calm the nervous system i get bored too. but i know i cannot stand up again because my muscles are not allowing it. i get really really bored bed, but my body power is limited while my brain power seems not that limited, it all leads to boring in bed, i truely unterstand her.
People with cfs tend to be type A. A lot of people also experienced some type of burnout. But there is also something like a boreout. Which I had. Living life unporposely and in boredom leads to symptoms too. I always had signs of deprrssion and fatigue when i felt bored. I thrive when i am engaging in a porpose. So its not boredom thats goods but helpful rest.
Just watched this , found you in Facebook , very interested in progressing through my illness , I have CFS and other illness that are nervous system related
Idk why, but it is like easier to let the day plan you or how you now said it. Instead of trying to plan it. If I follow my feelings in a way, if I suddenly feel the energy and motivation to do some appropriate work. Like fixing some curtains that I have been wanting to do forever. Maybe I have a period where I feel that I have excess amount of energy so I actually feel that I can do some of that. Outside of that, I spend a lot of time on youtube and making music and AI animations on the PC. Like getting these dopamine stuff to be able to get through the day and be "happy" and feeling good. Those dopamine stuff gets addicting when you have been fighting a lot for long times, like when you get out of a anxiety storm you have been inside for many days or weeks. Then you want to chill, you feel exhausted because of all that horrible fighting and stuff, so now you just want to chill. Should I still try to start this planning thing you are talking about? I can see how it is benefitting but it is scary. Scary that it gonna be too much to set up planning, that I will fall back inside a n anxiety storm and that sucks. I try to eat set times, go to bed set times and go out around 3 times per day. And try to see my psychologist once a week and go to church once a week. Maybe one more thing if I have the energy, but many times I don't. Idk man, the healthcare stuff here wants to me to be able to work in one year and idk how that gonna work out
I dont feel its being bored i think its the Chronic fatigue that seems to feel like the brain is shutting down. There is no fighting it. I dont have any pain.just hyposomnia or whatever it is. I think a walk in my garden helps if im not in zombie mode.
I wonder if the medical system has an actual term for that sensation of the “zombie 🧟♀️ zone.” For me … it happens every afternoon and my brain just saps out. It just slips outta gear & I literally can’t think straight . It’s to the point I avoid driving after lunch. If I have to… I bring Cold water and turn the music up to keep refocusing and keep the drive time short. It is a sinking feeling and I know caffeine & sugar don’t help. A 1-2 hr nap is what I’ve accepted as my baseline for now, and I keep trying to increase my awake/ functioning time. I have maintained my health better as a result ( it also means I’m less exposed to viruses)
Topic came right on time! 😂 Question about the program: what support is there on the emotional processing side of things? In my boredom states My mind is drawn to some stressful memories that happened prior to the sickness that feel important to acknowledge to aid recovery. I personally do have a therapist (for 2 years) but hasn’t really helped much because I have been so sick I’m barely present in our sessions(well not enough to actually have processed the emotion) Would you suggest continuing with a counsellor while in your program or do you have tips for emotional health too? Up until a few weeks ago I just simply didn’t have the capacity/energy to process things, like every emotion, even joy, would cause a shut down 😮 So there’s a lot of unprocessed stuff, feels daunting!
Myself, a couple years after getting my CFS diagnosis, I was actually diagnosed with complex PTSD. I had similar issues to what you said, and regular counselling for anxiety/depression/life change due to chronic illness was not cutting it. I started seeing a counsellor who specialises in trauma recovery and uses somatic techniques as part of that (somatic experiencing is the best, imo, but others are probably helpful too) and it's been very helpful. I still have not recovered, but I made more progress (both with the emotions and with the fatigue) after I started that kind of counselling than I had in the years before that. Maybe you should look into that too, cos what you said sounds very similar to what I experienced.
How to speak for 10 minutes and say nothing. What a word salad. There are no “activities” that “give” you energy with cfs. You cannot “build” your capacity with CFS. How you feel today is not a marker or how you will feel in 2 days. This guy does not understand CFS, nor PEM, Dysautonomia and other comorbidities that come with this illness. Also, if you fall for his trap, as I did, just want to warn you that you don’t get any help from them. You get a bunch of videos that are very much like this speech. It is time this “coaches” take some responsibilities for what they do.
Comment below your biggest takeaway from this video!
Doing appropriate activities and then rest is my biggest takeaway. Thanks!
Biggest takeaway is if you have 'good boredom ' then you can use it to make a bit of progress. 'Sexy Boredom' 😅. Don't use it to scroll mindlessly on social media etc! These short videos are good. Many of us find the long ones way too long. Thanks Toby
What are the short videos are they the ones on U tube ? I used to watch them but the endings weren't very good . Yes i agree tho endless scrolling is the worst thing sitting there mindlessly scrolling and then realising its the fatigue . Im wondering if the antidepressants have caused a lot of this. Iv been feeling a lot better since i got treatment for vertigo.
This is great advice. My main takeaway is that if setting goals and sticking to routines is necessary for finding a baseline, then those of us with ADHD are in a bit of a pickle. Because not procrastinating and getting tasks done and sticking to routines and remembering when to do things are really difficult for us. Well, frequent covid reinfections don't help either. They've made me worse and worse over the last year, even though I feel like I have a pretty good handle on recovery tools and mindset. I'm having a really hard time finding a baseline since my last reinfection, which was about 5 weeks ago.
Wow, Toby! What's appropriate. Energy in. Thoughtful questions to get me daily set! Keep these videos coming!
That bad boredom is an expression of the freeze response. The best thing to do is find something that generates even a little bit of joy. And it usually requires some type of stimulating behaviour. Because in freeze, calm is up the polyvagl ladder.
Wow, thank you for this question and thank you to Toby for answering it. I haven't worked in over a year now, I'm constantly bored but too tired to do anything plus have lost interest in everything to do it anyway. Depression has now over taken my tiredness. Thank you again for this video Toby 🌻
Thank you Toby, this is what we needed today. Lost my way a bit with menopause symptoms, now whole new ball game, but some overlaps, and I need to think about a way forward again. This helps greatly thank you 💗
What if you really can not do anything and all light and noisecancelling is too much 24/7 in bed and even going to wc 🚽 is making it worse and I can not do it less ..
I can not Watch this but only one minute in a good day. My husband typed thus
That must be so tough 😥 Sending you lots of love ❣️
I'm so sorry. I hope watching other videos on this channel (or maybe if you can't, your husband doing it) will help. If you have the funds, the program might help you. I wish I could afford it but cannot. I wish you luck.
Hi, i’m so sorry to hear that. I know how tough it is I have been where you have been. I was there for quite awhile. The best thing you can do is to find specialist help like Toby or somebody else who knows what they’re talking about. You need to put a routine and structure in place and start working on your baseline. There is even a baseline for someone at your level. My baseline started with just taking three steps to the toilet and three steps back. From there, I am now walking. Stay positive and don’t suffer alone, get the right help! If your doctor is not helping you, it is only because he or she doesn’t understand what to do. Sending you lots of love and hope ❤
i understand her, because for example if i can doing a 5 minutes exercise and then i need to rest because my muscles get to weak and to heavy i am then lying down in bed, and after all i did to calm the nervous system i get bored too. but i know i cannot stand up again because my muscles are not allowing it. i get really really bored bed, but my body power is limited while my brain power seems not that limited, it all leads to boring in bed, i truely unterstand her.
Great advice toby, Thanks for making these videos🙏
Glad you like them!
Thanks for sharing really appreciate your videos ❤
Glad you like them!
People with cfs tend to be type A. A lot of people also experienced some type of burnout. But there is also something like a boreout. Which I had. Living life unporposely and in boredom leads to symptoms too. I always had signs of deprrssion and fatigue when i felt bored. I thrive when i am engaging in a porpose. So its not boredom thats goods but helpful rest.
Just watched this , found you in Facebook , very interested in progressing through my illness , I have CFS and other illness that are nervous system related
Idk why, but it is like easier to let the day plan you or how you now said it.
Instead of trying to plan it.
If I follow my feelings in a way, if I suddenly feel the energy and motivation to do some appropriate work.
Like fixing some curtains that I have been wanting to do forever.
Maybe I have a period where I feel that I have excess amount of energy so I actually feel that I can do some of that.
Outside of that, I spend a lot of time on youtube and making music and AI animations on the PC.
Like getting these dopamine stuff to be able to get through the day and be "happy" and feeling good.
Those dopamine stuff gets addicting when you have been fighting a lot for long times, like when you get out of a anxiety storm you have been inside for many days or weeks. Then you want to chill, you feel exhausted because of all that horrible fighting and stuff, so now you just want to chill.
Should I still try to start this planning thing you are talking about?
I can see how it is benefitting but it is scary.
Scary that it gonna be too much to set up planning, that I will fall back inside a n anxiety storm and that sucks.
I try to eat set times, go to bed set times and go out around 3 times per day.
And try to see my psychologist once a week and go to church once a week.
Maybe one more thing if I have the energy, but many times I don't.
Idk man, the healthcare stuff here wants to me to be able to work in one year and idk how that gonna work out
Thank you 😊 🙏
You're welcome!
I dont feel its being bored i think its the Chronic fatigue that seems to feel like the brain is shutting down. There is no fighting it. I dont have any pain.just hyposomnia or whatever it is. I think a walk in my garden helps if im not in zombie mode.
I wonder if the medical system has an actual term for that sensation of the “zombie 🧟♀️ zone.” For me … it happens every afternoon and my brain just saps out. It just slips outta gear & I literally can’t think straight . It’s to the point I avoid driving after lunch. If I have to… I bring Cold water and turn the music up to keep refocusing and keep the drive time short. It is a sinking feeling and I know caffeine & sugar don’t help. A 1-2 hr nap is what I’ve accepted as my baseline for now, and I keep trying to increase my awake/ functioning time. I have maintained my health better as a result ( it also means I’m less exposed to viruses)
This is great! Very helpful. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Topic came right on time! 😂
Question about the program: what support is there on the emotional processing side of things? In my boredom states My mind is drawn to some stressful memories that happened prior to the sickness that feel important to acknowledge to aid recovery. I personally do have a therapist (for 2 years) but hasn’t really helped much because I have been so sick I’m barely present in our sessions(well not enough to actually have processed the emotion)
Would you suggest continuing with a counsellor while in your program or do you have tips for emotional health too?
Up until a few weeks ago I just simply didn’t have the capacity/energy to process things, like every emotion, even joy, would cause a shut down 😮
So there’s a lot of unprocessed stuff, feels daunting!
Myself, a couple years after getting my CFS diagnosis, I was actually diagnosed with complex PTSD. I had similar issues to what you said, and regular counselling for anxiety/depression/life change due to chronic illness was not cutting it. I started seeing a counsellor who specialises in trauma recovery and uses somatic techniques as part of that (somatic experiencing is the best, imo, but others are probably helpful too) and it's been very helpful. I still have not recovered, but I made more progress (both with the emotions and with the fatigue) after I started that kind of counselling than I had in the years before that. Maybe you should look into that too, cos what you said sounds very similar to what I experienced.
How to speak for 10 minutes and say nothing. What a word salad. There are no “activities” that “give” you energy with cfs. You cannot “build” your capacity with CFS. How you feel today is not a marker or how you will feel in 2 days. This guy does not understand CFS, nor PEM, Dysautonomia and other comorbidities that come with this illness. Also, if you fall for his trap, as I did, just want to warn you that you don’t get any help from them. You get a bunch of videos that are very much like this speech. It is time this “coaches” take some responsibilities for what they do.