Hi Ryan, it gave me immense joy to watch you commenting on our video (I'm Janusz, I was behind the camera in this episode.) If you ever visit Berlin we could produce a joint episode. And if we were too lazy to work then we could spend an evening in the "Pratergarten", our beer garden on the street where we usually record our interviews. You are doing a great job of showing people how our episodes should be watched. All the best from Berlin.
Toll! I love watching with Ryan...he is such a great guy. I wish more of my fellow Americans were like him. I also love your videos. Hopefully you do more comparing Hochdeutsch with Austrian dialect. Those are my favorites (living in Wien).
@@cjane_world sure about that? I think I could easily have two hours of small talk with you about how boring an meaningless soccer is and why we both don't understand how anyone can waste any time on this ;-)
In germany you may film people without their consent as long as they are not the focus of the Video, so you don't have to ask the people in the background walking by. But anyone else you film explicitly you do have to get their permission
* except for "people of public life" like politicans, bigger social-media-"stars", etc. which you are always allowed to gilm until in private areas like at home.
Ryan, you asked whether it is permissible to film people on the street without their written consent. In fact, this situation is not clearly regulated by law. It falls into a "gray area" where the extent to which this type of filming is allowed or prohibited is uncertain. This topic is of great interest to me, and I have extensively studied lectures on the subject. Most of these lectures arrive at a similar conclusion. In the absence of specific legal provisions, one must determine for oneself whether this behavior is beneficial or harmful. Rather than waiting for permission, one should embrace the freedom and responsibility to make individual judgments. In our company, we operate under the assumption that if someone willingly engages with us while noticing a camera and microphone, it can be inferred that they are aware their conversation may be recorded and potentially published. However, we understand and respect that many individuals do not wish to engage with us. If someone does decide to participate, we rely on common sense and assume that their consent encompasses the possibility of publication, not solely for our pleasure but for wider dissemination. Moreover, we make sure to provide full disclosure about our project to individuals and offer them our business card, which includes all our contact information. We explicitly state that if they change their mind about having their answers published, they can simply email us, and we will promptly remove the corresponding footage. Best regards
I found the young woman in Berlin funny when she said she had to leave in five minutes , because she wanted to drink a beer. She probably didn`t feel like small talk anymore.😅💙
I feel like we Germans know and can do small talk, we just don't recognise it as such. Of course if someone comes up to me in the street and tells me to make small talk, I'm going to resort to the weather or how they're doing. But when I'm buying strawberries on the farmers market I'm making small talk about strawberry prices. I had a really nice small talk with an old lady on the bus yesterday who asked me about my earbuds. If you ask a cashier whether they had a stressful day while bagging your groceries, that's small talk, and those are things I do and see from others every day. So maybe we're just more rarely making small talk without a reason, thus making it harder for us to come up with a subject to talk about if you don't have a reason to talk at all?
I think you're right. I watched a video by an American women living in France and she did said that in the US smalltalk is really jarring for Europeans in general, with people dropping out of the blue to ask you about your shoes/pants/hair or just talking to you because you're in the general vinicity. With that loose of a definition of smalltalk it can feel that Germans (and Europeans in general) do'nt like smalltalk. It's not true. We don't like unexpected and unsolicited smalltalk with total foreigners. As you said, smalltalk with someone you have an interaction with is fine.
When random people ask me how I am, I tell them about some boring or embarrassing medical issues I don't really have, just to make sure they'll never ask me again. xD
I was yesterday at a casual dinner with a friend and his colleagues, these topics were discussed: my upcoming holiday in Austria, one guys recent trip to the US, how cool postcards are, exchanging of birthdays to send each other postcards, my addiction to buying postcards, discussion about job interviews, jokes about one guys behaviour when drunk, more stories about a recent funny stag night, discussion on various dating apps and analysis of one girls tinder profile with the result that her profile looks good but no good partners in sight, talking about how one doesn’t need a car in a big city, one guy tells some of his family’s history and about his exchange semester in Russia a few years ago, discussion about putin and the war in Ukraine, than a cocktail is spilled so back again to jokes about drunk people and party experiences.
7:18 Oh Ryan, you American summer child! I thought that by now you would've worked out that Germany belongs to the countries with the lowest home ownership rates in Europe. So when we Germans talk about our square meters and costs (which is a common thing among close friends) we certainly don't talk about "houses", but about our flats/apartments and the monthly rent we have to pay!
It's funny when I see articles about how great is to have flexibility by renting. I would be curious if someone did a representative study of all those "flexible" people, what percenateg of them would prefer to buy if they could afford instead of staying flexible. I'm thinking the majority, easily.
I think you have to experience the difference to really know what they mean by saying they don’t do small talk. In the Us EVERY conversation is small talk, you can not escape small talk. When you buy something, when you sit somewhere, when you don’t do anything at all, some people will talk to you. The greeting„how are you?“ in German is not a greeting at all but will always be seen as a serious question. This is vastly different from how the phrase is used in English (especially in the US but also in the Uk or Australia)
German has the tools to express anything it wants. German also does not have a word that accurately reflects the idea behind small talk. The closest I can think of right now is Geschwätz but it has a negative connotation. I guess having a proper chin wag isnt very efficient.
3:11 "i wonder what a german bar or party would be like" me: you just talk to your friends- "with strangers" me: ah.. well idk if that happens tbh lmao i don't know anyone who goes to bars alone, we always go with friends
The thing with compliments is that I need to mean them. I can't just randomly compliment people when I'm not serious about it. There is some inner barrier in me that keeps me from doing that because it would feel dishonest and like a lie.
There was at least one case in germany an american person disagreeing with the police (don't remember about what, but was a small thing, no handcuffs or fine needed if the person had listened) and then using a phone to record the police. They gave a warning that it is illegal to do so in germany, without consent, and repeated the warning. Since the person didn't stop it escalated, the police put handcuffs on them.
I always found that so weird, as a foreigner in Germany. When they are acting against you, or someone, as part of their job it should be ok to record them since they have literally power over others' lives, a lack of control merans they could do anything and testify in any way they want later. It would be recording police, not a particular person doing something personal. Police at work / in action should have no expectation of privacy by default, only excepting certain things that may be literally personal like what they eat, go to toilet, pray etc which is not actually against any citizen and not related to their job at all.
@@bencze465 There's an issue here with the fact that "policemen" are also, well, (wo)men. It happens in France that policement who have been filmed are identified and thus received death threats at home, had their cars damaged, or their family member threatened too. It's an understandable demand to not be filmed. There's also the fact that police abuse is in general lower in Europe than in the US. It's a difficult balance between the need to watch public action and respecting the privacy of the people hired to do it. Both sides have a point. Also remember that in Europe private life is held in higher respect than in the US. It's strange tho that the man resisted the police when in the US you wouldn't want to do that unless you wanna get tazed or worse. Did he felt like because he was American he could discuss German laws and cops?
I live in Serbia and when we're asked about how we are - we say it! We say it as it is. It's not possible that every day is ideal. Some days are great, some are crapy! When somebody asks you "What's up"?, "How's it going" - you say it as it is! That's how people share their stories, experiences and how they are able to help each other. You can't give a help if you don't know that the one you're talking to does need it! Even if you just get a pill for a headache after saying why you don't feel good on that day (days)!
I love how his attempts opened up so many deeper possibilities to explore - "why are you in Germany since August, what country are you from, tell me about your country!" or "What are you passionate about, what are your hobbies/do you love doing?" That's where there is potential for real interesting stuff and learning and being inspired for this German girl (me) - also, I like just having a friendly connection with people. Although I am afraid and shy of people 😅
People asking questions like "where are you from" and "tell me about your country" etc. are usually genuinely interested to hear what you have to say and that's imho no longer Smalltalk. So, imho he did prove Germans are bad at Smalltalk. Instead talking about the weather he asked questions which are for more personal.
Three years ago on a train heading to Nuremberg there was an American tourist, an older gentleman who was stationed in Germany in the late 1980s and he tried to force small talk with the young woman sitting across from him, ignoring that she obviously didn't feel like it and then he complimented her and she rolled her eyes, sighed, packed her suitcase and quickly left the compartment and he was totally shocked and didn't understand the reaction and then talked to me because I saw the scene and smiled. I explained the misunderstanding to him. He was then really embarrassed and wanted to find the lady on the train and apologize for the misunderstanding, I talked him out of it. He really just wanted to be nice and not come across as a creepy grandpa flirting at young chicks. 😂😂
So small talk is quite normal in Germany. It just doesn't happen very often. Often you either talk about the weather or when you're standing at the checkout in the supermarket, it can happen that someone talks to you.
9:28 I can so relate to the memory problem, I experience that too and it can really make many situations (even more) awkward! 12:03 as far as I know you are allowed to film people without their consent in Germany when they are part of a crowd (but there still may be people though that want the films/photos to be rendered so they can't be recognized - and not only themselves, but sometimes you even see houses and other things that were blurred out), otherwise you have to ask for permission.
@@CabinFever52 yes, I even thought he looked sick (to be tired and catching colds of course comes with having a small child, so maybe that's the reason), but to me it sounded more like something he experiences regardless of being sick or tired and more in general.
@@stef987 , me too, except that if you remember from other videos, he has demonstrated a very good memory for things that he learned in school, and such.
@@CabinFever52 ah, ok. Well, what can I say - in my case I remember many things from school etc. as well, but if you asked me what I did the other day, or even just yesterday, I might have a hard time remembering. I thought Ryan described something similar. A few days ago I went to Thalia looking for a particular item and a shop assistant asked me if I needed help. I absolutely could not remember the title of the item that I knew just a few moments before.🥴 In my case it's probably often due to stress.🤷♀️
@@stef987 I am almost certain you have that right about him. Ryan is very intelligent and inquisitive, nonetheless....a nice guy to boot (so to speak). I do that all the time at the grocery so I take a list, but sometimes I forget to check my list while I am there. What can I say... That's life.
At Party’s you usually start with introductions (jobs, hobbies, uni, interests) and then you quickly find a topic to talk about. I have never had issues. The smalltalk about the weather, new construction sites or package stealing neighbors usually only happens with neighbors
As a dutch person, when I think of German parties (or Dutch parties), I think of techno raves in some old warehouse where most people are high on either speed or MDMA going from 23:00 until 6:00. Or sometimes longer.
yeah, but what about the "Laberflash" (the urge to communicate) that usually kicks in at a certain point, when being on speed/MDMA? in my memory (which of course is 'quite flawed') those were some of the most hilarious conversations i had in my life.
typical conversation at the office coffee maker: „hey, how are you, long time no see!“ - „you know, slogging through it…“ - „yeah.“ - „yeah“ - „alright, see you!“ smalltalk done.
The parties i know are people standing around, Holding a drink and nerding about some common ground. If you happen to know people theyll drag you into a small group or you just keep tabs on how every one is doing right now, then move on to the next person/group.
I studied English and American literatures and lots of my tutors were either British or American. I spent some time abroad, too. Most of my friends are English native speakers. I must have taken over certain non-German behaviors, as I encounter lots of awkward, uncomfortable or even embarrassing moments when interacting with fellow Germans. In a solely German environment I feel like I'm too friendly, polite and upbeat, being too "nice" and smiling too much. I seem to be paying too many compliments, I'm fond of puns, anecdotes and casual banter. While interacting with people in an international environment feels smooth, I feel like a complete stranger in German work environments. People often tell my I don't seem German at all. 🙈 I try to tune it down a little, being less friendly and skipping small talk altogether. I'm basically trying to mirror fellow Germans to build up some rapport. But I feel like an alien... 🤣
"Thid girl is every mans nightmare" Me, who is EXACTLY like her: ... aaah... NOW I get it I see myself in her and I can confirm: it's people repelling (which is a good thing if you ask me)
The point is: Small talk is soooooo boring. I prefer to talk about something interesting. But on work, small talk is hell. If I have to mail with americans, they write to me 5-6 lines about how fine everything is, or how pleased they are that they can help me. It`s the hell...in sweet. 😅
Beware: if a German wants to do smalltalk with you, it is either a scam or he is not German. Talking with no obvious reason seems uneffective and dubious to us in G. If not suspicious😁😁😁
To be fair, the woman with the guitar at 2:24 may have been relatively new to Germany altogether and still struggling with speaking German as a foreign language (including small talk), at least that's what it sounded like to me, she did have an accent and often used wrong grammar. So maybe that doesn't really count, as she possibly might be open for and good at small talk without a language barrier...
The right to personal privacy is highly regarded in Germany. Videos or photos of individuals that are taken directly must receive consent before they are published. However, this does not apply to private recordings made for personal use.
This blonde woman with the sunglasses is german through and through... I am the same kinda guy, just short answers, no smile, direct, just the vibe of: Leave me alone! 😁
My answer to: "How are you doing?" is usually: "I don't know, it's too difficult a question." This answer completely discouraged each English native speaker from talking next bullshits to me. 😜 And their grimaces are priceless 🤣 You should learn that other languages have to greet phrases like guten Tag, buon giorno, kalimera, konnichiwa etc. so we do not need small talk to be polite.
I don't understand small talk, why would I want to have a meaningless conversation that leads nowhere? I like to get to know people, not bore them with nonsense.
I had a house warming party as I moved to Ireland. My co-tenants were all germans too and they invited their german friends. There we maybe 10 guests. The all stuck crammed in the kitchen with their drink and some tried in a very shy manner to make karoake. *No small talk only topic they could agree on was work* I felt digusted of the mood and attitude you could feel. I am more used to excessive and maybe even destructive parties. I smuggled 20-30 bottels of hard licker from Germany to Ireland to do my part of the house warming. So I called my spanish friend and told him to rally friends and pop in. After 30 minutes the first spanish, italian, brazilian and argentinian gents and leadies showed up. From that point the party went into another dimention. Acrobats and fire spitters in the garden. The girls were rocking the house to the music, karaoke started to become fun. It was funny, it was loud and I lost consciousness somewhen. I woke up in my bed, hugging my spanish friend while we were "spooning". There was literally NO place free to put a glass. No chance to slip or fall because the floor was in the entire so sticky from spilled mixed drinks. I walked 2 steps and was bare foot because my socks stuck to the floor and stayed while I continued. Lobster parts all over the kitchen and I cant recal to have seen so many bottles after a party in my live. It took 12 hours with 10 people to clean the house 😅 Of course are women better at small talk. In Germany there is a saying" A man a word, a Woman a dictionary
as first flaw of this: you don't go to a party where you don't now anyone. you need to be invited by at least one person you know. then you stick to them, check out who they talk to and maybe after applying your own "friend filter" you start to talk to strangers. another thing, which is a bit underrated is the connection with your medical connections. I have physical therapy twice a week and whenever there is a new therapist we always clear the formal/informal (Sie/Du) relationship. I was talking to one of my physio therapist about p*rn stars after being there for like 2ish years besides talking about work and family issues. even though this was a totally personal strager we shared rather intimate stories. to summarize: it all depends on your personal preference and how you can relate to the other person. Germans are more cautious at first but can become more open if you ride on the same wavelength
06:11 pretty sure that you would like german beer a lot. when i was in the US, i also drank bud light. the typical bavarian beers are very good to drink, not „strong“ or somethink like that. its more the opposite what guys from the US think, i think they are tasty and very drinkable.
I hate small talk. I had incidents where I just flat out left the person there alone or where I just wouldn't answere and be silent. But I love interesting conversations about something that someone is passionate about or really weird imaginary stuff or I could talk about food for hours or just about people and what happens around us... there are so many interesting things to talk about and exchange each others experiences, opinions, ideas philosophical thoughts... why would I go for anything less? Like empty words... I want a conversation to enrich me.
Germans hate small talk so much, they have no problem standing next to each other for 30 minutes at the bus stop without saying a word. The same goes for sitting next to each other on the bus or waiting for an appointment at the doctor's etc. We do make some small talk at parties or bars though - but that is a different setting. You kind of go there with the intention to meet people.
Smalltalk in general isn't our strength sometimes awkward when one is shy but go to a small village on a saturday and ask some toiling farm guy about his tractor and you'll be entertained for the day. But I guess that's an exercise that works anywhere in the world.
Usually you do not approach just any people to have a talk... and don't have microphones with us... Small talk are maybe more likely to happen at the bus stop, in a bus or waiting zone... 🤔 And would happen more probably in rural than urban areas... And usually when meeting people you know somehow... Many Germans may be worried if a small talk could be conceived as harassment...
agree, everytime someone respond to me after hearing "how are you" with a "great!" .. I immediately know that person is lying to my face and doesnt want to talk at all, doesnt trust me and any other topic would be a lie too. ^^
Halloo Ryan, i just came across a guy called Tyler Bucket? If the guy isn’t your close relative then he’s definitely your doppelgänger! Dude is a 5-10 kg chunkier version of you 😅
Always wondered... if there is Bud Light, is there also a Bud Strong? Because everyone complaints that it tastes like piss water, which I would kinda expect from a light beer. So maybe that's worth looking into...
I hope that you are getting enough of sleep, Ryan. You look a bit tired, like parents of small children often do. Oh, and we Finns are famous for trying to avoid social interaction with people we don't know. But if we do begin talking with strangers we are sincere, kind and quite direct.
I'd LOVE to do the opposite of small talk with people. I believe to have tried it but always failed although there's such a need and desire for it. I always blame the hole world but finally it has to be my own incapacity. Mostly I experience that at the point where you leave the small talk, people are either overwhelmed or bored or scared if it gets deep or philosophical or serious or personal or unusual or difficult. Our self defense flees into... boredom. But you still need the psychological benefits of being socialized and having conversations, so small talk does its job. Without it at all, I'm afraid there'd be only a telling silence left.
I ALWAYS stay to the end of your clips. You are daily on our home TV mostly I watch you with my wife. And I ignore every single channel, trying to "jump on your boat" and reacting to german stuff :) #Ryanwassfanclubgermany :P
And here I thought we'd get a comparison of small talk types D: I honestly don't know how small talk is done in America :D I only know the awkward German type of small talk. Guess I know where I'm off to next^^
I wonder if people who remember everything that others say during small talk are VERY interested in listening to boring people or if they just are escellent at remembering boring things 😂
Hey... you wanna know how smalltalk in my area in Germany is "Moin, und?" (Good Day, how are you, and how is your familiy?") " Jo, dir?" (I'm good, aswell as my family thank you for asking, how are you?) "Jo" (I'm splended) "Tschüß" (Bye, have a great time") "Tschüß" (Bye to you too) XD
An example for small talk in my area (Rheinland): Un? Wie isset? (So? How is it?) Joa, muss ja ne. (Well, it has to, you know...) Joa leichter wird es och nich mit dem Alter. (It doesn't get easier our age) Da sachste wat. (There you said it) Un sonst? (so, what else?) And then anything can happen like, "well my wife recently went to xyz" or "we bought a new truck" or "in our garden we had to cut a tree" or whatever.... I am not very good at the dialect of this area but I hope this gives you some idea about how it could go... I would love for other viewers to comment an example from their region or their experience :)
I imagined this dialogue by to men. Now a female version: Na, wie isset? (So, how's it going?) Och, ich kann nich klagen (Well, I can't complain) Ja, et nützt auch auch nix. (Wouldn'T help anyway) Ja rischtisch, so is dat, ne. (Yes, exactly.) Un wie jedet ding Tochter? (So, how's your daughter?) This question could be about any person - daughter, mother, neighbor and then some chit chat about other peoples' lives :)
@Ryan, there you go, a free insight into german dating culture. we do not give up if we are interested. like: how are you? eff off! that is not nice, lets try this again. why do i have to be nice? well because i like you better when you are nice..... takes some time sometimes :)
Problems with small talk in Germany? Get to know a friend from the "Rheinland" (Rheinland = an area in western Germany - Karneval🎉 is very important there) who will do it for you and entertain 15 other people who happen to be nearby 🙈.
I think small talk is a nice tool to brake the ice in order to have a deeper converstation later on, but if you're asking something you didn't want to hear an honest answer to, why even asking in the first place? if you like to be lied to in order to feed your perception of everything is fine, ok go ahead, but if you don't just don't ask people who look like they're having a bad day how they are today.
😂 I'm German too and yes I don't like small talks too. Maybe because it's empty talk and the weather-talk for example annoys me most of the time. For example at work on a hot day, I already know, there will be someone, who will notice how hot it is, well dear people, I already know it, because I feel it too. But that's not all, there will the next one, with the same comment and then the next one, so the game restart again. 🙄
About asking "wie geht's?" ... I know one or two people who will, given the occasion, answer by telling you about their current intestinal problems ... I don't know whether that is something you would "like to hear" ?!!?
The 'nightmare' way in which the one German chick reacted at first is quite common though in Germany. That's why I think it's harder to pick up women here than in the US or UK.
Well, all parties I was at consisted of serious deep talk and philosophical questions of longevity and the meaning of life being discussed. We just skip the smalltalk part.
To "break the first ice" I find small talk phrases not bad at all. But if I get the impression that an encounter is just superficial nonsense, I lose interest very quickly. I need the feeling that my counterpart is actually interested in me, listens and answers according to the situation. If I am not really interested in the person I am talking to, a conversation quickly becomes exhausting, and I try to escape from the situation.
even after a decade living abroad (not in the US but also a small talk loving country) this is the one point where I'm still extremely German. I cannot engage in smalltalk to save my life. And it's one thing to try and come up with random topics, but the real issue is in trying to participate in smalltalk in an enthusiastic manner. Absolutely impossible. I'm exactly as deadpan as the Germans in this video XD So people who don't know me well yet tend to think I'm not very lively and a bit boring. No, guys, it's this not you, it's your nonsense topics. :p
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Hi Ryan, it gave me immense joy to watch you commenting on our video (I'm Janusz, I was behind the camera in this episode.)
If you ever visit Berlin we could produce a joint episode. And if we were too lazy to work then we could spend an evening in the "Pratergarten", our beer garden on the street where we usually record our interviews. You are doing a great job of showing people how our episodes should be watched. All the best from Berlin.
How fast are you?!
@@JustusKlartext Here in germany, everyone just had their lunch break :)
I love it when the creators of the videos Ryan reacts to comment here!! Same when he was featured on ich_iel 🤣
Do that and compliment his trousers! 😄
Toll! I love watching with Ryan...he is such a great guy. I wish more of my fellow Americans were like him. I also love your videos. Hopefully you do more comparing Hochdeutsch with Austrian dialect. Those are my favorites (living in Wien).
We hate small talk even at a party.. we go straight to philosophical discourses, everything else is boring 😂
Political topics can be fun to discuss as well. You start with less controversial topics, usually foreign policies, to gauge the waters.
I agree, we have no time to waste for boring small talk. In same time you can speak about something interestig.
Start a conversation about soccer and you'll get endless hours of meaningless small talk in Germany 😂
@@antares9375 not with me 😂👍
@@cjane_world sure about that? I think I could easily have two hours of small talk with you about how boring an meaningless soccer is and why we both don't understand how anyone can waste any time on this ;-)
In germany you may film people without their consent as long as they are not the focus of the Video, so you don't have to ask the people in the background walking by. But anyone else you film explicitly you do have to get their permission
* except for "people of public life" like politicans, bigger social-media-"stars", etc. which you are always allowed to gilm until in private areas like at home.
Yeah (monte hat ja immernoch den fall mit der mutter) ...bruh
I actually learned the word small talk in school. We learned the word and practiced it in class. It felt weird. 😊
Da liegst du vollkommen richtig. Bei uns war es in der 7. Klasse xD
Kann es sein du das den hohenbürger Matsch sehr gerne magst
That's funny! 😂
Small talk mag ich auch nicht. Deep Talks sind viel cooler :))
Yes, same in Spain 😂
Ryan, you asked whether it is permissible to film people on the street without their written consent. In fact, this situation is not clearly regulated by law. It falls into a "gray area" where the extent to which this type of filming is allowed or prohibited is uncertain.
This topic is of great interest to me, and I have extensively studied lectures on the subject. Most of these lectures arrive at a similar conclusion. In the absence of specific legal provisions, one must determine for oneself whether this behavior is beneficial or harmful. Rather than waiting for permission, one should embrace the freedom and responsibility to make individual judgments.
In our company, we operate under the assumption that if someone willingly engages with us while noticing a camera and microphone, it can be inferred that they are aware their conversation may be recorded and potentially published. However, we understand and respect that many individuals do not wish to engage with us. If someone does decide to participate, we rely on common sense and assume that their consent encompasses the possibility of publication, not solely for our pleasure but for wider dissemination.
Moreover, we make sure to provide full disclosure about our project to individuals and offer them our business card, which includes all our contact information. We explicitly state that if they change their mind about having their answers published, they can simply email us, and we will promptly remove the corresponding footage.
Best regards
I found the young woman in Berlin funny when she said she had to leave in five minutes , because she wanted to drink a beer. She probably didn`t feel like small talk anymore.😅💙
Yeah, I also found that funny and also your username is funny as well! :)
Fun must be😍👍@@Tara_Whitley
I feel like we Germans know and can do small talk, we just don't recognise it as such. Of course if someone comes up to me in the street and tells me to make small talk, I'm going to resort to the weather or how they're doing. But when I'm buying strawberries on the farmers market I'm making small talk about strawberry prices. I had a really nice small talk with an old lady on the bus yesterday who asked me about my earbuds. If you ask a cashier whether they had a stressful day while bagging your groceries, that's small talk, and those are things I do and see from others every day.
So maybe we're just more rarely making small talk without a reason, thus making it harder for us to come up with a subject to talk about if you don't have a reason to talk at all?
I think you're right. I watched a video by an American women living in France and she did said that in the US smalltalk is really jarring for Europeans in general, with people dropping out of the blue to ask you about your shoes/pants/hair or just talking to you because you're in the general vinicity.
With that loose of a definition of smalltalk it can feel that Germans (and Europeans in general) do'nt like smalltalk. It's not true. We don't like unexpected and unsolicited smalltalk with total foreigners.
As you said, smalltalk with someone you have an interaction with is fine.
I'm slowly but surely dying inside from all the small talk.
Yes we hate smalltalk but sometimes its kinda awkward to not do so we complain about the weather and everyone agrees and thats it
When random people ask me how I am, I tell them about some boring or embarrassing medical issues I don't really have, just to make sure they'll never ask me again. xD
Best gross and detailed. Pus always comes across well.😂
@@arnodobler1096 exactly. 😂
LOL
Or: "Oh I forgot, I have to take my pills, bye!"
@@atconnys8786 nah, they'll want some, too. 😅
Small talk in Germany:
A: Wie gehts?
B: Muss, selbst?
A: Auch
Both shrug and go their ways.
Na?
Na selbst?
Geht.
I was yesterday at a casual dinner with a friend and his colleagues, these topics were discussed: my upcoming holiday in Austria, one guys recent trip to the US, how cool postcards are, exchanging of birthdays to send each other postcards, my addiction to buying postcards, discussion about job interviews, jokes about one guys behaviour when drunk, more stories about a recent funny stag night, discussion on various dating apps and analysis of one girls tinder profile with the result that her profile looks good but no good partners in sight, talking about how one doesn’t need a car in a big city, one guy tells some of his family’s history and about his exchange semester in Russia a few years ago, discussion about putin and the war in Ukraine, than a cocktail is spilled so back again to jokes about drunk people and party experiences.
7:18 Oh Ryan, you American summer child! I thought that by now you would've worked out that Germany belongs to the countries with the lowest home ownership rates in Europe. So when we Germans talk about our square meters and costs (which is a common thing among close friends) we certainly don't talk about "houses", but about our flats/apartments and the monthly rent we have to pay!
It's funny when I see articles about how great is to have flexibility by renting. I would be curious if someone did a representative study of all those "flexible" people, what percenateg of them would prefer to buy if they could afford instead of staying flexible. I'm thinking the majority, easily.
I think you have to experience the difference to really know what they mean by saying they don’t do small talk.
In the Us EVERY conversation is small talk, you can not escape small talk.
When you buy something, when you sit somewhere, when you don’t do anything at all, some people will talk to you.
The greeting„how are you?“ in German is not a greeting at all but will always be seen as a serious question.
This is vastly different from how the phrase is used in English (especially in the US but also in the Uk or Australia)
I find small talk some sort of boundary from intimacy and I quite like it
Yeah in here Germany you will usually either talk to people about things that genuinely interest you/you care about or you won't talk with them at all
German has the tools to express anything it wants.
German also does not have a word that accurately reflects the idea behind small talk.
The closest I can think of right now is Geschwätz but it has a negative connotation.
I guess having a proper chin wag isnt very efficient.
Plaudern, schnacken, schwatzen, tratschen, quasseln, Kaffeeklatsch. There are some German words for to talk about nothing.
@@wWvwvV German moms be like:
😂
@@wWvwvV So yeah, only with a negative connotation.
3:11
"i wonder what a german bar or party would be like"
me: you just talk to your friends-
"with strangers"
me: ah.. well idk if that happens tbh lmao
i don't know anyone who goes to bars alone, we always go with friends
The thing with compliments is that I need to mean them. I can't just randomly compliment people when I'm not serious about it. There is some inner barrier in me that keeps me from doing that because it would feel dishonest and like a lie.
There was at least one case in germany an american person disagreeing with the police (don't remember about what, but was a small thing, no handcuffs or fine needed if the person had listened) and then using a phone to record the police. They gave a warning that it is illegal to do so in germany, without consent, and repeated the warning. Since the person didn't stop it escalated, the police put handcuffs on them.
you should be allowed to film the police doing their work.
they is a public interest that this is allowed.
I always found that so weird, as a foreigner in Germany. When they are acting against you, or someone, as part of their job it should be ok to record them since they have literally power over others' lives, a lack of control merans they could do anything and testify in any way they want later. It would be recording police, not a particular person doing something personal. Police at work / in action should have no expectation of privacy by default, only excepting certain things that may be literally personal like what they eat, go to toilet, pray etc which is not actually against any citizen and not related to their job at all.
@@bencze465 There's an issue here with the fact that "policemen" are also, well, (wo)men.
It happens in France that policement who have been filmed are identified and thus received death threats at home, had their cars damaged, or their family member threatened too.
It's an understandable demand to not be filmed.
There's also the fact that police abuse is in general lower in Europe than in the US. It's a difficult balance between the need to watch public action and respecting the privacy of the people hired to do it. Both sides have a point.
Also remember that in Europe private life is held in higher respect than in the US.
It's strange tho that the man resisted the police when in the US you wouldn't want to do that unless you wanna get tazed or worse. Did he felt like because he was American he could discuss German laws and cops?
I live in Serbia and when we're asked about how we are - we say it! We say it as it is. It's not possible that every day is ideal. Some days are great, some are crapy! When somebody asks you "What's up"?, "How's it going" - you say it as it is! That's how people share their stories, experiences and how they are able to help each other. You can't give a help if you don't know that the one you're talking to does need it! Even if you just get a pill for a headache after saying why you don't feel good on that day (days)!
I love how his attempts opened up so many deeper possibilities to explore - "why are you in Germany since August, what country are you from, tell me about your country!" or "What are you passionate about, what are your hobbies/do you love doing?" That's where there is potential for real interesting stuff and learning and being inspired for this German girl (me) - also, I like just having a friendly connection with people. Although I am afraid and shy of people 😅
People asking questions like "where are you from" and "tell me about your country" etc. are usually genuinely interested to hear what you have to say and that's imho no longer Smalltalk.
So, imho he did prove Germans are bad at Smalltalk. Instead talking about the weather he asked questions which are for more personal.
Three years ago on a train heading to Nuremberg there was an American tourist, an older gentleman who was stationed in Germany in the late 1980s and he tried to force small talk with the young woman sitting across from him, ignoring that she obviously didn't feel like it and then he complimented her and she rolled her eyes, sighed, packed her suitcase and quickly left the compartment and he was totally shocked and didn't understand the reaction and then talked to me because I saw the scene and smiled. I explained the misunderstanding to him. He was then really embarrassed and wanted to find the lady on the train and apologize for the misunderstanding, I talked him out of it. He really just wanted to be nice and not come across as a creepy grandpa flirting at young chicks. 😂😂
So small talk is quite normal in Germany. It just doesn't happen very often. Often you either talk about the weather or when you're standing at the checkout in the supermarket, it can happen that someone talks to you.
9:28 I can so relate to the memory problem, I experience that too and it can really make many situations (even more) awkward!
12:03 as far as I know you are allowed to film people without their consent in Germany when they are part of a crowd (but there still may be people though that want the films/photos to be rendered so they can't be recognized - and not only themselves, but sometimes you even see houses and other things that were blurred out), otherwise you have to ask for permission.
I saw the circles under his eyes....he looks really tired and memory is never good with that going on.
@@CabinFever52 yes, I even thought he looked sick (to be tired and catching colds of course comes with having a small child, so maybe that's the reason), but to me it sounded more like something he experiences regardless of being sick or tired and more in general.
@@stef987 , me too, except that if you remember from other videos, he has demonstrated a very good memory for things that he learned in school, and such.
@@CabinFever52 ah, ok. Well, what can I say - in my case I remember many things from school etc. as well, but if you asked me what I did the other day, or even just yesterday, I might have a hard time remembering. I thought Ryan described something similar. A few days ago I went to Thalia looking for a particular item and a shop assistant asked me if I needed help. I absolutely could not remember the title of the item that I knew just a few moments before.🥴 In my case it's probably often due to stress.🤷♀️
@@stef987 I am almost certain you have that right about him. Ryan is very intelligent and inquisitive, nonetheless....a nice guy to boot (so to speak). I do that all the time at the grocery so I take a list, but sometimes I forget to check my list while I am there. What can I say... That's life.
At Party’s you usually start with introductions (jobs, hobbies, uni, interests) and then you quickly find a topic to talk about. I have never had issues.
The smalltalk about the weather, new construction sites or package stealing neighbors usually only happens with neighbors
As a dutch person, when I think of German parties (or Dutch parties), I think of techno raves in some old warehouse where most people are high on either speed or MDMA going from 23:00 until 6:00.
Or sometimes longer.
yeah, but what about the "Laberflash" (the urge to communicate) that usually kicks in at a certain point, when being on speed/MDMA? in my memory (which of course is 'quite flawed') those were some of the most hilarious conversations i had in my life.
Important is to know that both in Germany and the usa the way people talk and small talk is different from place to place
typical conversation at the office coffee maker: „hey, how are you, long time no see!“ - „you know, slogging through it…“ - „yeah.“ - „yeah“ - „alright, see you!“ smalltalk done.
The parties i know are people standing around, Holding a drink and nerding about some common ground. If you happen to know people theyll drag you into a small group or you just keep tabs on how every one is doing right now, then move on to the next person/group.
I studied English and American literatures and lots of my tutors were either British or American. I spent some time abroad, too. Most of my friends are English native speakers. I must have taken over certain non-German behaviors, as I encounter lots of awkward, uncomfortable or even embarrassing moments when interacting with fellow Germans. In a solely German environment I feel like I'm too friendly, polite and upbeat, being too "nice" and smiling too much. I seem to be paying too many compliments, I'm fond of puns, anecdotes and casual banter. While interacting with people in an international environment feels smooth, I feel like a complete stranger in German work environments. People often tell my I don't seem German at all. 🙈 I try to tune it down a little, being less friendly and skipping small talk altogether. I'm basically trying to mirror fellow Germans to build up some rapport. But I feel like an alien... 🤣
that's so funny xD
"Thid girl is every mans nightmare"
Me, who is EXACTLY like her: ... aaah... NOW I get it
I see myself in her and I can confirm: it's people repelling (which is a good thing if you ask me)
About the comment of the Brit:
We have a shorter way of doing that.
It’s-„na?“
Na selbst?
The point is: Small talk is soooooo boring. I prefer to talk about something interesting.
But on work, small talk is hell.
If I have to mail with americans, they write to me 5-6 lines about how fine everything is, or how pleased they are that they can help me.
It`s the hell...in sweet. 😅
Beware: if a German wants to do smalltalk with you, it is either a scam or he is not German.
Talking with no obvious reason seems uneffective and dubious to us in G. If not suspicious😁😁😁
To be fair, the woman with the guitar at 2:24 may have been relatively new to Germany altogether and still struggling with speaking German as a foreign language (including small talk), at least that's what it sounded like to me, she did have an accent and often used wrong grammar. So maybe that doesn't really count, as she possibly might be open for and good at small talk without a language barrier...
we take our upbringing seriously. Mum always said don't talk to strangers :D
The right to personal privacy is highly regarded in Germany. Videos or photos of individuals that are taken directly must receive consent before they are published. However, this does not apply to private recordings made for personal use.
Hey Ryan could you react to more videos about Austria? I'm austrian and it is a really beautiful country!
Yeah...with a good history 💀
The most Austrian thing in the world: begging for a share of attention from Germany LUL
@@V0r4xiz , was I misinformed that Germany had no high mountains so Austria gave them one?
@@LeroxYT unfortunately yes. But there are other beautiful things beside history like our lakes, mountains and the inner city of Vienna.
@@V0r4xiz And emphazising how great they are 😂
Ryan, we do have Bud light. It even has its own German term. But light in German is 'Leitungswasser' ;)
I stayed till the end AND enjoyed the last bit 🤣 Greetings from Berlin, Germany!
hahaha thank you!
I wouldn't have watched the video without your reaction. Trying so hard on the small talk with these guys felt so awkward.
This blonde woman with the sunglasses is german through and through... I am the same kinda guy, just short answers, no smile, direct, just the vibe of: Leave me alone! 😁
Too bad that non Germans don't know Rossmann...this answer about where she bought her super cool sunglasses was hilarious. 🤣🤣
My answer to: "How are you doing?" is usually: "I don't know, it's too difficult a question." This answer completely discouraged each English native speaker from talking next bullshits to me. 😜 And their grimaces are priceless 🤣 You should learn that other languages have to greet phrases like guten Tag, buon giorno, kalimera, konnichiwa etc. so we do not need small talk to be polite.
I don't understand small talk, why would I want to have a meaningless conversation that leads nowhere? I like to get to know people, not bore them with nonsense.
I think it is time that you visit Germany after doing so many videos about it!
I had a house warming party as I moved to Ireland. My co-tenants were all germans too and they invited their german friends. There we maybe 10 guests.
The all stuck crammed in the kitchen with their drink and some tried in a very shy manner to make karoake.
*No small talk only topic they could agree on was work*
I felt digusted of the mood and attitude you could feel. I am more used to excessive and maybe even destructive parties. I smuggled 20-30 bottels of hard licker from Germany to Ireland to do my part of the house warming.
So I called my spanish friend and told him to rally friends and pop in.
After 30 minutes the first spanish, italian, brazilian and argentinian gents and leadies showed up. From that point the party went into another dimention. Acrobats and fire spitters in the garden.
The girls were rocking the house to the music, karaoke started to become fun.
It was funny, it was loud and I lost consciousness somewhen. I woke up in my bed, hugging my spanish friend while we were "spooning".
There was literally NO place free to put a glass. No chance to slip or fall because the floor was in the entire so sticky from spilled mixed drinks.
I walked 2 steps and was bare foot because my socks stuck to the floor and stayed while I continued.
Lobster parts all over the kitchen and I cant recal to have seen so many bottles after a party in my live.
It took 12 hours with 10 people to clean the house 😅
Of course are women better at small talk. In Germany there is a saying" A man a word, a Woman a dictionary
as first flaw of this: you don't go to a party where you don't now anyone. you need to be invited by at least one person you know. then you stick to them, check out who they talk to and maybe after applying your own "friend filter" you start to talk to strangers.
another thing, which is a bit underrated is the connection with your medical connections. I have physical therapy twice a week and whenever there is a new therapist we always clear the formal/informal (Sie/Du) relationship. I was talking to one of my physio therapist about p*rn stars after being there for like 2ish years besides talking about work and family issues. even though this was a totally personal strager we shared rather intimate stories.
to summarize: it all depends on your personal preference and how you can relate to the other person. Germans are more cautious at first but can become more open if you ride on the same wavelength
06:11 pretty sure that you would like german beer a lot. when i was in the US, i also drank bud light. the typical bavarian beers are very good to drink, not „strong“ or somethink like that. its more the opposite what guys from the US think, i think they are tasty and very drinkable.
Someone in the first scene has a good taste for beer (in Berlin): Grüner is a franconian beer from Fürth :-)
I hate small talk. I had incidents where I just flat out left the person there alone or where I just wouldn't answere and be silent. But I love interesting conversations about something that someone is passionate about or really weird imaginary stuff or I could talk about food for hours or just about people and what happens around us... there are so many interesting things to talk about and exchange each others experiences, opinions, ideas philosophical thoughts... why would I go for anything less? Like empty words... I want a conversation to enrich me.
If someone ask me "Wie geht´s Dir" I would answer: "Beschissen ist noch geprahlt !". 🤣
Smaltalk in the North of Germany:
- Moin
- Moin
- Und?
- Jo!
- Jo. Ciao!
- Ciao!
In France, when you learn how to drive, you re taught to open your door with your right hand, so you can properly turn round to look behind you.
Germans hate small talk so much, they have no problem standing next to each other for 30 minutes at the bus stop without saying a word. The same goes for sitting next to each other on the bus or waiting for an appointment at the doctor's etc. We do make some small talk at parties or bars though - but that is a different setting. You kind of go there with the intention to meet people.
Smalltalk in general isn't our strength sometimes awkward when one is shy but go to a small village on a saturday and ask some toiling farm guy about his tractor and you'll be entertained for the day. But I guess that's an exercise that works anywhere in the world.
Usually you do not approach just any people to have a talk... and don't have microphones with us...
Small talk are maybe more likely to happen at the bus stop, in a bus or waiting zone... 🤔 And would happen more probably in rural than urban areas... And usually when meeting people you know somehow...
Many Germans may be worried if a small talk could be conceived as harassment...
hello Ryan...This Girl, we Germans say: Der muss man jedes Wort aus der Nase ziehen! at Here, You have to pull every single Word from the Nose!!;)
9:10 turkey is quite rural, imagine you make living by working your land. you talk about rain and water
agree, everytime someone respond to me after hearing "how are you" with a "great!" .. I immediately know that person is lying to my face and doesnt want to talk at all, doesnt trust me and any other topic would be a lie too. ^^
the first lession i've learned on my trip to LA: Hi, how are you needs no answere.
Don't ask "how are you?" If you aren't prepared for long talk
With every new beer the small talk get a lot better
-How are you?
-This is not your concerne.
I love the blonde girl's humour 🤩 bit like Aubry Plaza. And she's staying in character :D
The most terrible thing about winter in Berlin is not the temperature. It is the lack of sun. Sometimes you might not see the sun for 2 weeks.
Halloo Ryan, i just came across a guy called Tyler Bucket? If the guy isn’t your close relative then he’s definitely your doppelgänger! Dude is a 5-10 kg chunkier version of you 😅
Nice dance 🪩😜
Love your vids. Really interesting, I'm German :)
This woman ist´t a nightmare she is challenging you. :))) I like hee attitude.
Always wondered... if there is Bud Light, is there also a Bud Strong? Because everyone complaints that it tastes like piss water, which I would kinda expect from a light beer. So maybe that's worth looking into...
9:25 "I am just like you! I empathize with you 😎
I hope that you are getting enough of sleep, Ryan. You look a bit tired, like parents of small children often do. Oh, and we Finns are famous for trying to avoid social interaction with people we don't know. But if we do begin talking with strangers we are sincere, kind and quite direct.
I just like Smalltalk when the people are nice and not cringe.
I'd LOVE to do the opposite of small talk with people. I believe to have tried it but always failed although there's such a need and desire for it. I always blame the hole world but finally it has to be my own incapacity. Mostly I experience that at the point where you leave the small talk, people are either overwhelmed or bored or scared if it gets deep or philosophical or serious or personal or unusual or difficult. Our self defense flees into... boredom. But you still need the psychological benefits of being socialized and having conversations, so small talk does its job. Without it at all, I'm afraid there'd be only a telling silence left.
Talking about beer in an intellectual way 😂better: hey was machst du so?
I loved the ending. Circus 😂
I ALWAYS stay to the end of your clips. You are daily on our home TV mostly I watch you with my wife. And I ignore every single channel, trying to "jump on your boat" and reacting to german stuff :) #Ryanwassfanclubgermany :P
"Wie geht es Dir?" "Muß ja."
I just noticed how strong ryans eye bags are 💀
"Ich hab noch 5 Minuten um noch 5 mal um die Ecke zu laufen."
"Warum? Was ist in 5 Minuten? "
"Da muss ich doch Bier trinken". ROFL.
And here I thought we'd get a comparison of small talk types D: I honestly don't know how small talk is done in America :D I only know the awkward German type of small talk. Guess I know where I'm off to next^^
I wonder if people who remember everything that others say during small talk are VERY interested in listening to boring people or if they just are escellent at remembering boring things 😂
You can Film and take photos of foreign people if it is in a public space and the person isn’t the main subject of the photo/video 12:23
Hey... you wanna know how smalltalk in my area in Germany is
"Moin, und?" (Good Day, how are you, and how is your familiy?")
" Jo, dir?" (I'm good, aswell as my family thank you for asking, how are you?)
"Jo" (I'm splended)
"Tschüß" (Bye, have a great time")
"Tschüß" (Bye to you too)
XD
An example for small talk in my area (Rheinland):
Un? Wie isset? (So? How is it?)
Joa, muss ja ne. (Well, it has to, you know...)
Joa leichter wird es och nich mit dem Alter. (It doesn't get easier our age)
Da sachste wat. (There you said it)
Un sonst? (so, what else?)
And then anything can happen like, "well my wife recently went to xyz" or "we bought a new truck" or "in our garden we had to cut a tree" or whatever....
I am not very good at the dialect of this area but I hope this gives you some idea about how it could go... I would love for other viewers to comment an example from their region or their experience :)
I imagined this dialogue by to men. Now a female version:
Na, wie isset? (So, how's it going?)
Och, ich kann nich klagen (Well, I can't complain)
Ja, et nützt auch auch nix. (Wouldn'T help anyway)
Ja rischtisch, so is dat, ne. (Yes, exactly.)
Un wie jedet ding Tochter? (So, how's your daughter?)
This question could be about any person - daughter, mother, neighbor and then some chit chat about other peoples' lives :)
@Ryan, there you go, a free insight into german dating culture. we do not give up if we are interested. like: how are you? eff off! that is not nice, lets try this again. why do i have to be nice? well because i like you better when you are nice..... takes some time sometimes :)
4:41 Something that always goes is complaining about the Deutsche Bahn.
Problems with small talk in Germany? Get to know a friend from the "Rheinland" (Rheinland = an area in western Germany - Karneval🎉 is very important there) who will do it for you and entertain 15 other people who happen to be nearby 🙈.
I think small talk is a nice tool to brake the ice in order to have a deeper converstation later on, but if you're asking something you didn't want to hear an honest answer to, why even asking in the first place? if you like to be lied to in order to feed your perception of everything is fine, ok go ahead, but if you don't just don't ask people who look like they're having a bad day how they are today.
😂 I'm German too and yes I don't like small talks too. Maybe because it's empty talk and the weather-talk for example annoys me most of the time.
For example at work on a hot day, I already know, there will be someone, who will notice how hot it is, well dear people, I already know it, because I feel it too.
But that's not all, there will the next one, with the same comment and then the next one, so the game restart again. 🙄
About asking "wie geht's?" ... I know one or two people who will, given the occasion, answer by telling you about their current intestinal problems ... I don't know whether that is something you would "like to hear" ?!!?
The problem with smalltalk is that its mostly meaningless.. Its just a waste of time if you are not really interested in the other person..
By the third question at the latest, I would ask him if he has nothing better to do than talk to people. 🤷🏼♀️
I hate meaningless conversations.
As a dutch person, hearing small talk about the weather sounds very familiar lmfao
The 'nightmare' way in which the one German chick reacted at first is quite common though in Germany. That's why I think it's harder to pick up women here than in the US or UK.
Well, all parties I was at consisted of serious deep talk and philosophical questions of longevity and the meaning of life being discussed. We just skip the smalltalk part.
To "break the first ice" I find small talk phrases not bad at all. But if I get the impression that an encounter is just superficial nonsense, I lose interest very quickly. I need the feeling that my counterpart is actually interested in me, listens and answers according to the situation. If I am not really interested in the person I am talking to, a conversation quickly becomes exhausting, and I try to escape from the situation.
Gooday mate ow ya goin, you wanna beer! Ja! Let's go then, beaudy! Nice weather for beer! Hmmm! Wadda ya reckon? 😋🍺🍺😁👍
Some clip that little dance in the end :D
As a german who is neurodivergent i find it very weird when people say we dont habe small talk in germany. Yes we do and its really annoying.
even after a decade living abroad (not in the US but also a small talk loving country) this is the one point where I'm still extremely German. I cannot engage in smalltalk to save my life. And it's one thing to try and come up with random topics, but the real issue is in trying to participate in smalltalk in an enthusiastic manner. Absolutely impossible. I'm exactly as deadpan as the Germans in this video XD
So people who don't know me well yet tend to think I'm not very lively and a bit boring. No, guys, it's this not you, it's your nonsense topics. :p