yo im back!! but bad news ill be dissapearing again for another 2 weeks or smthn i dont really know im just really busy rn (more details soon on my community post), for the meantime enjoy this video and follow my spotify pls x: open.spotify.com/user/31e262xprrveirscl7xqhheyuvnq?si=b7302810f36b4ecd love yall!✌
Thank for the video it made me realize what i was doing this video gave me goosebumps you're right like wth i was doing the whole day just imagining myself with kpop who dosen't even exist here like just wasting my day with imagination after watching this i realize what shit i was doing i m just a teenager who is obsessed with kpop when i m free,sad,lonely,depressed and even happy i will watch my fav grp and then my all lonelinss and sadness is gone and thanks for the advice too I really love your vids you speak the truth keep it up Thank u so much for the vid
I don’t stan but consume a lot of Kpop content. Instead of going out and socialising, I sit at home and watch Kpop content from bunch of groups. This video makes so much sense even for a casual fan like me
Right! Although, now I’m literally forcing myself to not watch content because life is getting busy and I realize how it can affect me if I let it, watching kpop content, go on too much/ too many times a day/ in a week. I thought I was a casual fan lol but😅🫣
Same for me I don't why,I always watch funny videos and always see if there is any update from groups.I am causal fan but it's like I am addicted to them.
I agree that kpop does bring happiness (in a way) cause it's a music industry (basically) and music does bring emotions like happiness. Finding motivation from kpop idols is also kinda justified. Journaling about them(to cure boredom), going to concerts, buying merch (in a healthy way ofc) everything is pretty ok, just like how every person has specific interests. But sometimes it just gets way too much and to a point where I think "TOUCH SOME GRASS". This is one of the things that makes kpop industry so interactive and huge right now. They're not just selling music it's wayyy more than that.
And with all the fanservice and opportunities to meet idols whether fansigns or online fan calls it really can add to the delusion they are selling to fans. Which is really sad because it works *too* well… (which can make some people, wherever they’re at in life, exhibit harmful behavior esp. towards the artists but that’s a whole other convo)
@@mahii.27 oh god i hate fan calls so much, usually because it’s always the same people, and they annoy the idols, make them uncomfortable and treat them like toys.
Back when I was in college, I would say I was a bit of a parasocial demon. I pre-ordered all their albums (signed if I could get my hands on em) and watched every interview and variety show they appeared on. I went to their concerts whenever they were in town. A part of me was hoping they would notice me in the crowd, or I’d run into them at a Starbucks in the area, or something else delusional. One time, I got the chance to do a meet and greet after one of their concerts where you high five and say hi to the members. I was so excited to finally meet the people I idolized, but after it did happen, something in me died that day. I realized that they were everything to me, and I was just one of many fans. I used them to escape my lonely and stressful student life. Once I realized this, I started to distance myself. Started to make friends, even ones who liked kpop. I’m just a casual listener now, but I’ll always be grateful for the times their music gave me comfort.
That last line! I was too broke to get the merch and go to concerts but I prided myself on knowing their birthdays, favourite colours, hometowns, siblings, having all their pics on my devices but I grew out of it thankfully. I sometimes feel FOMO seeing other fans getting to "do more" for my faves but I'm ultimately happy I mellowed out. I hope I can one day go for a concert!
@@-Desire OMG same! I was too broke for attending concert or fanmeet but i tried to remember all my idols like and dislike,even their allergic food.and it still makes me sad that i can't go to concert like my friend,but now i realized i even don't know myself while i search everything for my idols.but thank fully,i still enjoyed my life and touch some grass when i'm still new to kpop
The part about meets and greets being disappointing as hell is so true. And the amount of money you have to dish out to get one of those tickets is insane
This is why I deleted my Twitter app a couple months ago. I realized I wasn’t focused on what’s in front of me and honestly it’s freeing. I’ve learned SO much more about myself, actually enjoy kpop for the music & arts again, and just more in touch with myself and reality itself.
I just did the same recently and it's crazy how much i'm actually more in the 'present' now. I remember just last fall how i would wake up in the morning and the first thing i would think about and do was to go on weverse, twitter, and instagram to know the most recent updates and posts of my favorite group.
@@timotheechammywammy3214 yeah exactly! for so long that was my daily routine and I definitely wasn’t living in the moment and now I know what it’s like to feel like a genuine human being now
Someone had to say it! Such a great video! K-POP is for most people a tool to escape reality instead of just music. But we have to accept that avoiding reality doesn't make it any happier...
As a kpop fan, it is truly scary how kpop fandoms have developed over the last years. These are real people and like Yunjin said not your doll. The way they managed to build this industry around this that much is concerning to say the least. Consuming kpop content etc is fine, but only to a certain extent. Just stop caring so much about the idols lives and get manage your own life first and just let people be.
That's the whole goal of the labels: selling delusion to fans so that they become obsessed with idols and obsessed with their private lives so that they can later consume more and bring more money. It's all about the money. They know that everything is fake but use it to make money
K-POP did help me in a lot of ways (I started dancing - not only to K-POP, met some great people, go out more, get to do things outside of my comfort zone like public random dances or recording covers...) but this parasocial relationship is something that also affected me. As much as I love K-POP for all the amazing experiences it gave me, at some point I really struggled with the feeling of loneliness and would focus on a group too much. Even after I realized it some time ago, it was still sooo difficult to just stop being invested. Cause if the group you're following uploads content daily, it's really hard to avoid it. I still wanna know what's happening. I still love this group. I slowly care less and don't watch everything they put up. But when there are weekly lives and I skip them, sometimes I still feel like I'm missing out. I also think it's kinda blocking me from liking anyone and getting into a relationship - cause there's part of me that compares anyone to my fav. And how are they suppose to compete with someone I idolize? I don't wanna be a delulu and I know that there's no chance of dating this person, and yet it still affects me cause at some point I allowed myself to get too invested cause I felt so sad and lonely. Like it's so annoying when you know what's wrong but you find yourself falling into this rabbit-hole anyway :D sorry for the rant but I'm always a bit afraid to fully express my feelings to friends or therapist especially if they're not a K-POP stan. this felt like a safe zone :D
i think it's less of not giving af but just doing everything in moderation!! STANNING a group is completely different from just being a fan. forcing yourself to like everything by your fave simply because they're your fave is the easiest way in becoming a sasaeng fan/ stan. streaming a song because you genuinely like it and buying an album because you think it's a cohesive piece of work is the best way of being a casual listener and not a "TOXIC KPOP STAN"
Good piece. I stopped watching k-pop content a few months ago. I still listen to the groups I like, I'll still watch a mv here and there but I don't immerse myself in the content anymore and it feels a lot healthier. Sometimes I still get a pang of guilt that I'm not "supporting" them, especially the rookie groups with lower fan bases. But it didn't feel free, like there was a regime of how to support your favs and it didn't feel like innocent joy anymore. Now it kind of feels like I left a cult tbh. Cult lite but still
bro- what did i even watched right now!? this gotta be the most honest and eye opening video about kpop ever made. I, myself have been there and yet I'm not completely changed but I'm taking steps for sure!! rn for me things are like this- my high school is almost over and i go to college this year so its already a big change in my life and also the sad thing is i'm not friends with any of my school friends now and im quite aware of how lonely and depressed i am. for past few months i had a really hard time when i would stay up all night crying and feeling betrayed and all that depressing shit. i have trouble making new friends bc of my social anxiety and i've lost all of my old friends. so now what i decided to do is, focus on myself. I try to not feel bad for myself and be sad all the time for not having friends. I have been studying for my exams and doing good. i do listen to kpop most of the time as i am very much interested in music and wanna learn about it more in the future. anyways, i do feel lonely at times but i just accept it, either cry out or go outside in nature. i also turn to kpop content when i miss my old self being with my friends and all. its more easy to live with 0 friends than to make friends for me as i have really really bad social anxiety which i can do nothing about at the moment, cause i've tried things and yeah no change. also i cant afford to have a appointment with a therapist so i have to live with this anxiety for a while. but i can still make some progress by working on myslef in 4 walls. so yes, you can turn to kpop for comfort and happiness when you feel like it, it can work like a recharge for you and change your mood for better. after all this is our lives and we should spend most of the time of this life for ourselves only!
Tbh i cant really help how interested i get into kpop and other forms of media because of my autism. kpop is definitely one of my special interests and brings me lots of joy and yes i would say sometimes i am lonely i have very bad social anxiety so i dont tend to get out much so i turn to parasocial relationships exept i know these people don't know me and i know they dont know i exist but they do give me a sense of comfort,does it make me feel less lonely ? Yes and i cant really stop myself from being interested.I know im still lonely but im fine with that now,it used to bother me but ive gotten used to it because of my special interests because they give me so much comfort and happiness and obviously my situation doesn't relate to every person who feels lonely and has parasocial relationships but I'm hoping that maybe someone will realise that not everybody is the same and not everyone should be clumped into a certain reputation.😊❤(also im not an obsessive creep i dont care what idols do in their spare time cause it dosnt affect me)
As someone who grew up in the kpop fandom, I'm happy I had kpop. I was lonely as hell. Still am. I made friends, in and outside kpop, and I'm not lonely anymore. But I love kpop. I'm somewhere awkwardly between stan and casual listener. I stan groups and keep up with them, their music and their content. I was never delusional as in i legit thought my idols gave a single crap about me, but my idols for sure where my besties when I was 13-15. And then I realized it was too much. I stepped away when I was 16, almost 17, for around a year or two, I was very very casual, when Spotify recommended me some kpop of the groups I used to listen to, I checked them. And when I discovered onlyoneof I got pulled back in. I usually don't give a fuck. I've been a kpop stan for way to long to deal with all this bs, especially 4th gen drama, honey, its too much. I usually yawn when i see a glimpse of kpop drama. This video is still very eye opening. Did I get pulled back in because most my friends moved away? Because I spend most my time alone? Now, don't get me wrong. I came back to it when all my friends lived around me, when I was at school everyday and had a more or less active and fun life. I have really messed up shit in my brain since I was 14, panic attacks to be precise, and I tend to be depressed. I don't want to self diagnose though. What I want to say is that maybe kpop does work like a fake shelter, it does work like a fake parachute to your loneliness. I am now mentally at my worst I've been in a while. And I'm constantly online. I'm casual, sure, I don't get emotionally invested in things that are emotionally negative in the first place. I like to obsess over music and storylines and the beauty of mvs and stuff. I like to obsess over things I love. But is that healthy? I kinda doubt it. It's still a parallel reality, it's fake, it's not actually here, and as humble and casual as I may be, I still fall into that trap. I've been in this fandom for 8 years, casual, not casual, all the types. I know it inside and out, but the bad thing is: I don't know a life without it. It's pretty dark honestly. Growing up in this fake world. And the funny thing is I know EXACTLY what kpop is about, how dark it is, how it destroys your brain. But the temptation is just there, always. I don't wanna sound too deep, it's just kpop after all. But for something that is so obviously toxic and obvious in brainwashing you, it works surprisingly well.
they need to pin this .This is exactly how i feel. I am a casual listener but sometimes i feel like i get too obsessed with them very quickly. I wacth their YT content,MVS,save pictures. I am trying to step back from it al. But its so hard.i get you.
I relate to this so much. I got into kpop in the pandemic, where I had no friends left and alone and spent all my time consuming kpop content and being obsessed with my idols. But when I got back to school, where I started interacting with irl people, I realized that I’ve been spending less time watching kpop content. Idk I felt kinda guilty that I’m not as invested but I think it was for the best.
yeah i'm so comfy with staying home and pretending im a kpop idol in my room... it's really not good at all i need to get out and have a life while still enjoying listening to kpop music in general
I think one example of people being in parasocial relationships would be garam and her fans. The way the industry was designed was to make you obsess over these people so you can buy everything that is produced by their company with their name on the label like you said ofc. You’ll see people still talking non-stop about her and going on and on about her personality as if they know her personally. Half her career was just that scandal, and whether it was true or not its sort of weird how you see people be so attached to her acting like they’ve built an immense emotional connection with her
my advice for parasocial demons - delete twitter. if you’re just using it for keeping up with the uptades or to look for photos, than alright. BUTT if it’s for fanwars, hating etc. then delete asap. - do not read fan fictions. specifically 18+ ones. those will make you addicted and will make you believe that the x idol is your bf/gf/sister/bro whatever. - quit from the fan wars. trust me it’s life changing. - stop comparing yourself to your idols. if you are very insecure, then i recommend you to watch or ask someone for confidence tips and maybe (if you are REALLY insecure) try to not focus on your idol until you become confident.
yo imagine they got like, obsessed with history, and like every week their "idol" would be like Alexander the Great or something. these stans would be so goddamn smart, but ig there aren't that many flashy TikTok edits about historical figures
I got into kpop during the pandemic, and I love it so much. The way I do kpop is mostly keeping up with official content from my favourite groups, and read a ton of fanfiction. I've never spent money on it, and my only delusions is that in my head all members of my groups will remain best friends forever and ever, because they all love each other unconditionally. My brand of obsession is that I love idols being super close friends to each other. I'm consuming other people's friendships, but I think that's ok.
Same. Most of us aren't delusional 13 year olds who want to date Jungkook of BTS. The kpop world makes us happy. We're savvy enough to see through the rest of it.
i never thought i was that deep, as i was never upset when idols were revealed to be in relationships, and i never really thought of them as close friends or potential partners as they're marketed. but i found kpop at one of the lowest parts of my life when i as lonely and depressed (quarantine lol), and now that im in a better space, i find myself not consuming kpop content much anymore, apart from the music, which upset me cause i still enjoy it a lot. i thought i was growing out of it, but i think im just not lonely anymore. i see my friends all the time, and i've expanded my interests a lot. this video helped put it all together, thank you.
I do not know these people and I know they don't know me. I think that's where the disconnect happens for some people. They think the things their biases post online shows how the idol truly is. When in actuality, we don't know how they are behind closed doors and not in front of cameras. We. Do. Not. Know. These. People.
There are some positives. I'll use myself for example. I was really down on myself last year ngl but I found the group that I absolutely love stanning and they made me happy. Like, I haven't been sad and depressed, which is insane to say but it's my truth. They motivated me to find what I'm passionate about in life. That's making art, being a good source of light for others, and being happy doing that. I wouldn't be looking into different jobs, moving, learning a language, or really anything if it wasn't for them. It's really wild to think about it like that. Even though they're younger than me (we all in our 20s, don't worry lmao), I use them as a positive influence for me because I didn't really have one in my life at the time. So thanks to kpop, because I can honestly say I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for some random twitter link to New Jeans - Cookie which made me go down a rabbit hole and find Le Sserafim. Kpop really wasn't on my music radar at all. I'm a Youngboy fan. How tf did I get here?
everything in moderation, that’s the key. it’s entertainment, so you can take whatever you want from it. you just wanna enjoy the music ? you can do just that. you turn to idols just to get style inspiration from them? you can do just that. use the kpop industry as a way to expand your happiness, to learn about new things if you’re interested in the industry, to find inspiration, not to distract yourself. these people will keep making money while you might be consuming the content just to ‘delay’ your feelings, numb pain etc. it’s important to take a step back and analyze why exactly you consume the content you consume :)
Tbh accidently finding about kpop in 2010 was the best thing that ever happened. I met so many kpop fans and became more outgoing. I've been an ARMY since 2014, and definitely saw the change of international fans into parasocial demons. It is crazy how obsesive people are. At the end of the day I just like their music and like seeing them in concert. The technicalities are not something I worry about. I do wish them a happy life but I never felt the need to know every little thing about their personal life. And also another point is the projecting that a lot of fans do. It's to the point where it seems like they strip away the idols' autonomy to favor only their thoughts instead of just staying in their place as a fan.
I'd classify myself as severe. I stan BTS's Jungkook. I devote a lot time streaming, buying, voting and consuming content. I spend a lot of money on his music so he can reach No.1 on billboard. I know people who are even more obsessed than me, they take out large loans so they could spend it on Jimin’s music so he could chart on billboard. There is a lot of pressure on stan twitter to donate constantly for BTS music so could chart. A lot of kpop stans are chart obsessed too
I think we should create a category between those two categories cause I'm in the middle like I won't give a single f if one of my idols date someone or gain weight and I don't participate in any form of fanwars cause idc, i buy albums and merch but won't ruin myself for this and i don't collect pcs either but at the same I watch excessive amount of extra content from my fav group which aren't music related like reality shows, vlogs, edits on tiktoks, videos on twitter, watch their lives, wait for trans of their lives, follow their every move ect. Tbh yes i'm lonely but i kinda like being lonely ? I mean before knowing kpop i was doing just the same with books i spent my whole week end on my room reading and writing instead of going out. I know one day my group won't be a thing anymore but well i guess will like another group by then like i do not really care ? Thats weird i know lmao. Great video btw
Your ability to think and convey them through video is simply amazing. You're incredibly good at this. Thank you for making me think about such important things for all kpop fans. I hope you're doing well🤍
You speak the truth Like u just called me and so many kpop fans who are stuck with kpop imagination right now i have to focus on my studies and i m wasting my whole time by watching kpop when my family watches tv together only me is the one in the next watching my fav grp i was litreally not giving time to my famlies today was my last exam and now i m having my holiday i will surely focus on my studies and do something but i will surely try my best not be obsessed with kpop and thank you for the advices u got me when u said that streamimg the mv voting them u just need more recoginition cause u r telling the truth umm u r just amazing Keep it up Great vid as alwaysss!!!!
I try not to be too obsessed with kpop idols because I know how parasocial relationships work I’m 13, so it’s hard for me but I’ve found ways to not feel so lonely. Mainly talking to people online and interacting through calls, it’s helped me a lot, it’s doeisnt feel as good as real life, but. It’s something to help me socialize and improve my social skills
this is such a good insight. i know that i have a lot of these 'parasocial demon' tendencies, but i try not to think about it in my day-to-day life, but sometimes i do need a brutal wake up call. although i go through various levels and phases of kpop, i can fully say that im addicted. i cant go a day without kpop and that's kind of scary. however im fully accepting of that because if not for kpop i think i would be far worse off. i have always suffered from bouts of severe depression, and kpop is my coping mechanism in those times. as awful as it sounds, there have been times where i convince myself to keep living for comebacks, telling myself 'i have to keep going until then'. when im on the verge of a panic attack i calm down by watching content. seeing idols i love working hard inspires me to keep trying. im very grateful to kpop because i know that without it i would have turned to far far worse coping mechanisms. im not saying my relationship with kpop is anywhere near healthy, but it's kept my life together and continues to do so, and if being a 'parasocial demon' is the price i pay for that then so be it. i know the whole point of this video is saying that happiness shouldn't rely on kpop, but kpop truly does make my life brighter in a way that nothing else ever has, and im a firm believer in doing what makes you happy.
In 2017 I started stanning blackpink and became a kpop fan. I was a little sad at those times, so I found comfort there. Then, in 2019, I was still into kpop, but I started to dance to some Twice songs with some friends I knew and some new ones! That was the best that happened to me. I consider myself a casual kpop-fan eventhough I do dance to it with my friends, but I created a healthy relationship with how I enjoy the music, and made some amazing friends and a new hobby! Just wanted to share my story, because kpop got amazing things into my life, but I agree with everything in the video. It's all about who has the control. (Sorry if there's mistakes, english is not my first language)
I've been a kpop fan for 13 years but I'm only 'stanning' artists for the past 4 years and I'm really struggling with this. There is a very fine line between the fulfilling love I can feel from having a favorite group and a complete delusional downhill. It's all cool until I just casually listen to and watch them, but the moment I start thinking about them as people - as in longing for knowing them in real life and stuff like that -, it's suddenly super painful. But sometimes I cross that line unconsciously. I'm an adult, I have a job, I have friends, I have a healthy relationship, and it still affects me. Kpop doesn't only fulfill needs but it creates them too.
i feel like the way you choose to introduce this topic and talkabout it was very creative I felt like a close friend who cares about me is giving me this advice
Tbh I feel like I'm in between casual and parasocial. I just recently started getting into kpop but I wouldn't really call myself a kpop fan as I only stan stray kids and listen to a few other songs from other groups. Although I do watch a lot of content from stray kids, but its usually when I'm bored or just in the mood to check up on what they're doing. I do go out and hang with my friends and family, but I'm not going to lie to myself and say that I don't feel lonely at times. I've always felt lonely as it has always been hard for me to make friends and I just recently got a nice group I hang out with pretty offen, but I have noticed that when I feel lonely or anything I tend to bench watch skz and this video helped me spot that and work on it. I've also noticed I tend to go from "obsessed" to "obsessed" as in I tend to really like a group or a celebrity/idol for a awhile only to lose interest and find another group or celebrity to fan over. Its a cycle and idk why.
I definitely see it, especially for social media-heavy kpop stans. Being so invested by the industry, engaging in fanwars, being secluded and consuming content... it can be pretty daunting, given how much the industrial aspect of kpop is so overwhelming. I have had moments where I had to take a step back, because it was all too much. The negativity got to me, and I found myself doom-scrolling, which is a red flag for me for when I get too overwhelmed. On the other hand though, when I focus on listening to the music and supporting my favorite artists, I found so much joy. More than that, because of kpop, I also made new friends, met many awesome people, and even bonded more with friends I already had. For all the negative that may occur, there are these true moments of happiness. I think everything has to be made with moderation. Know yourself and your boundaries. When you feel like you're drifting away too much, that should be a warning. But ultimately, do what makes you happy deep down. And for anyone struggling with loneliness right now and feeling sad because of it, I see you, and I love you. I wish nothing but the best for you ❣
lol reminds me of when i went to the infinite concert in nyc in 2013 and i almost got trampled to death in the crowd, then realized that the parasocial world i built in my head to escape my terrible adolescence was all a fantasy. once again reinforced when I did the hi touch with vixx the following year only to feel this numbing empiness inside which my friends mom noticed enough when she commented that i didn't look very happy afterward. almost 10 years later now i realize that my entire life was centered around idols. but tbh, for me i think it was unavoidable because I viewed and still kind of view kpop as a way that I could connect with the culture I was born into but didn't get to experience because I was adopted from korea. but now I have actual relationships with real korean people instead and I've finally filled the gap of my identity without having to rely on celebrities that will never even know my existence.
OMG, THIS IS SO TRUE, i know i'm like one year late to this but i recently got into kpop and saw like how the fans get extremely crazy over these idols. i saw a post where they made kpop idols apologize bcuz they're dating?! like wtf bro. And i also saw how fans get really wild at like the airports when the idols arrived, like um...it's really concerning. i hope more people watches this video and snap back into reality
10:54 Well, thank you for validating me lol. I always naturally take breaks from consuming "idol content" otherwise it consumes you. Like we gotta combat this FOMO they install in us! It's ok to listen to the music/mv and not watch like a thousand interviews and extra content every time. PS: I think you are one of the best k-pop channels i've come across in a while. Tysm for the content. Especially looking forward to mv theories!
First of all, english is not my first language so sorry :) Your videos make me think a lot, thank you for talking about these kind of subjects and helping me realize the impact that the things i love have on my mental health. Certainly, i have healthy relationships, i feel good with myself even when im alone, i acknowledge that i am depressed, lonely, sad ect.., i don't give a f*ck about who my idols are dating, who they are friends with, if they've win an award or something, so i don't think ma case is very "serious", but i'm still lonely, i feel lonely and i know it, i realize that when i listen to or consume kpop, i feel less lonely. But I had never taken time to think abt what it meant etc I will try to be the "casual fan", even if i know it's gonna be difficult bc i'm obsessed and i admit it. Kpop often motivate me to start projects, helped me regain a little self-confidence, helped me to find out who i really wanted to be, but i know there is also negatives sides. I love your channel, your videos are amazing, thank you!
great video, as always!! yk, for the person who was tired from this huge delusional part of k-pop fandom, it was such a relief to find your channel! your videos are always pleasant to watch and not only because they are filled with common sence (which is really, REALLY important for me), but because of the amazing editing too! i really appreciate your work and i hope that some day all the words you say would reach all the k-pop community. you deserve all the fame and popularity. thank you for the video! you are definitely my favorite k-tuber
So I really really smiled after watching this video. As a kpop fan, somewhere in my life i've found about how kpop is controlling our feelings, advertising and selling to us both material things like albums and immaterial like stereotypes, expectations. Understanding this, I've became a casual kpop fan who doesnt give much shit, but appreciates some things such as for example artistry seen in kpop in many many ways. When you were asking those questions: "do u have more pictures of urself, ur friends and family than ur kpop idols?", "can u look at yourself naked in the mirror and be okay with it?" etc. ...I answered "yes" to every single one of them. I smiled, because this is the validation I kinda needed. I feel that I've just chosen freedom, and I am free. Also I really like to say that kpop helped me, meaning it really inspired me to dance, sing, maybe even taught me comedy and how to flirt lol. anyways. Kpop community is such a group of people. Can't say something is better than doing a random play dance or just vibing to some iconic songs with someone else. I love making friends. . . . Offtopic need to say, that every single one of Your videos that I've watched I find really good, enjoyable in a way, important and honest. Thanks for them all, they bring platform to people to think about real stuff. Party
Thanks for giving us a reality check at first i was offended by this video because KPOP was the source of comfort, happiness and it means the world to me because it saved my life. I was A KPOP fan since i was 13, the first song that made me liked KPOP was BTS blood sweat and tears, and black Pink playing with fire, at first i was not a big fan of kpop even if i liked those songs but it gave me a good impression. But after that i became depressed because i found out that my friends were all fake friends and i was betrayed by them, i fall into depression and my relationships with my family and friends felt distanced, and i felt like i needed someone to be there for me but no one did and i discovered this I NEED U by BTS, it felt like they were in emotionally pain and it made me feel like i was not alone i wanna stop watching kpop everyday and become a better person
I think it's all fine if you stay grounded in reality- oftentimes I catch myself living purely in my head, it's almost like moving to another dimension or realm when I get too much into my fave groups or fandom business. I appreciate how they spark my creativity, make me ponder over many different aspects of life and let me connect with many wonderful people, but when I start to feel more like an online presence rather than a real person anchored in the physical world, it's a sign to take a step back. They will not disappear while I take a break, my friends don't, even if we only talk every once in a while. I don't need to know what my faves are up to everyday- although I must admit the fear of missing out in kpop is very real. I don't need to know every fact about them and don't need to own every piece of merchandise they release. Being an active member of the fandom also adds to the obsession. Comparably, following western artists I never was near what I now consider being a stan of my ult group, and a casual stan at that. In many cases I didn't even know my fave musicians real names or faces despite knowing their music by heart. I think it's the best approach to kpop too, although I understand how it works and how it feeds into and profits from parasocial relationships. To add, right now I am taking a break from the group and the fandom. I still follow updates, but the amount of attention I pay them daily decreased significantly.
I used to be a severe kpop stan when I was 11-13, I deadass thought I was meant to marry Jungkook and he's like 9 years older than me lmao, thankfully it was just a phase..
i became ARMY in lockdown and I used to watch them all day long but as time passed idk I stooped watching them now I am no more excited for their new songs/albums/ live anything and everything to the point that now I completely have no idea except that now they are serving in military.. and I am actually kind of happy that I no more into this kpop thing because the disadvantages of this are honestly concerning
I'm happy I found this video pretty early on. I liked some TWICE songs intially for the beats, then for the vocals and soon enough I found myself binging on Korean reality TV shows with TWICE features. It is so much easier to escape into pixelated reality than it is to admit that you're lonely.
I know you want read this comment but I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH I’m 14 I love K-pop and your so right thank you for giving me a reality check cause I may not admit it but yeah I am kinda obsessed it got to a point were I would fight with my OWN parents because they said something bad about K-pop although I never treated a K-pop idol like a bf or anything weird like that they were my comfort place but still at the end of the day I was lonely and I needed real people who would actually help me and be there so THANK YOUU
It's pretty much true for all entertainment media though. Drama series, anime, reality shows, live streaming , TH-cam and Kpop contents. So everything comes down to how you yourself enjoy those.
Honestly, it’s true that Kpop is an escapism. For me, it’s not the community really, but the music. I listen to 90% kpop, and if I feel sad I’ll just find some funny k pop videos, or turn on some kpop music and dance, etc. I used to be really into a certain group in 2021, but I stopped being obsessed with them after I realized how toxic their fanbase was. I just listen to the music, and enjoy watching idols perform. I also somewhat use it to escape from my loneliness. It’s not like it don’t have friends, it’s just I’m not very close to them, and they’re also not into kpop which makes me relate less or them.
i feel that you can also include the aspect of open-mindedness in the end section of your video because there are kpop stans who only listen to one group and not exploring more genres and groups to widen their music taste and practice reaching out to different fans for a fresh perspective. at some point you will get tired of one kpop group that you only like and whats there to do anything about it. in human nature, we're explorers and we cant just ignore the growing curiosity of whats in and beyond our comfort zone. sure, being loyal to your idols is okay, but my brother in christ, you got to be open more. be open to more experiences. be open to life, especially. never i wouldve thought that the quote "you're a human first before a kpop stan" would solidify its meaning even more thanks to this video.
5:54 ok but that's weird lol. i wouldn't even think they're dating, but that's like a guy in class having a drawing of me and him as his pfp...ummm??? unless the yeonjun and yunjin are already close friends ofc.
I am trying to detach myself from my fav kpop artist. But somehow he always end up being in my search bar.. and I don't feel enjoyment but sadness over his mistreatment by so called group fans, members and company done to him. When I sleep a few times my mind had shown me dreams if I would meet him, I want to tell him everything nice
I am an introvert person but I was a happy and optimistic person because I had alot of hobby and people around me who loved me. But I came to United States to study when I was 18 years old and thats when things started to go wrong way for me. I met bunch of friends in my university but at the end I felt so lonely and isolated. Eventually I started to listen to kpop music because I stumbled upon a video of twice and tzuyu caught my eye. I considere myself a casual fan but I was slowly becoming a parasocial demon without realizing. I used to go out with my roommates and friends but eventually I stopped doing those things. I felt comfortable being alone and watching kpop contents. I even found myself fighting with stans who were saying bad things about groups i like. I felt bad for idols who didnt have many fans so i forced myself into streaming. I started to see the people around me as my enemy and i hated people which made me go into survival mode. I almost fell into depression( i am not saying because of kpop but it was fueling my loneliness). I am healing and getting better day by day. I try to recycle my thoughts and put that thought into something that helps me actually. I still listen to kpop and i love alot of songs but i stopped caring about idols. I need to take care of myself first to take care of my people( my family, friends and my cats). I still have hard time when i am alone at home but it is getting much better now. I truely hope people find themselves and be self contained enough to not be sad about some idols.
so i wouldnt consider myself a causal fan, nor would i consider myself a parasocial demon. i do love a lot of groups but i barely even care about their variety stuff once i watch a bit of it just to get myself into a group. i also mostly listen to their music when it comes to what i do to support them,, i listen to a lot of music, both kpop and non all the time. i have seen a lot of meme videos because those do make me happy, because jokes and giggles are what cheer me up, and i use that almost like joke to get into a group cause music is what makes me happiest haha :) but i hope people learn to realize that these people arent their friends, you dont know them. really good video! loved it
This 13 min video is so perfect to make u realise how kpop actually effects you. Love how u don't force any opinion but just portray the truth as it is. The structure of this vid is perfect too. Pls never delete it.
Nice choice of a song at the end there. Back when it came out, I was a little kid and I was so confused about the whole song and what it was about. Nowadays with kpop and the general social media obsession it's just as relevant, crazy 🤯 Thank you for this video. Although I'm a casual kpop fan, I also find myself arguing with people online over idols in general (not even the ones I'm a fan of) and sometimes getting even too happy for the idols, so happy in fact that I start hating my life 😂 Thank you for this reminder ❤️
this video actually made me think about my involvement in kpop and i totally know that im parasocial af as i always been even before kpop but with kpop i started to fall more into parasocial demon category. like i care about my favorite idol(but not to an extend of judging their relationships, looks etc.) and kpop group and stuff but again not to an extend to start fanwars, streaming 24/7 and etc. kpop sometimes help me to get distracted when my mental health gets critical (i have schizotypal personality disorder but it almost progressed to schizophrenia) but like its okay, other music helps me too. so idk if im that deep into kpop or not but at least i think i understand my loneliness and accept it. but anyways thank you for your vids, its the second time i watch your vid from my youtube recommendations and im a sub now lol
I have been a kpop fan for many years, i think people who stan kpop just want to feel loved, even if it’s fake. I have had real life relationships but it is hard to get that feeling from real people. As long as you can balance your real life with kpop properly i dont think the parasocial escapism is too bad
I agree with everything you say!! As a casual kpop fan,I can see this happening with lots of “ Stans.” The company wants us to have this BF/GF relationship with our idols.Thats how they want their trainees to act. At least towards their fans. I had a friend who was OBSESSED with kpop boy groups. She went to loads of concerts and has loads of pics and her room FULL of posters. She would actually cry went she watched her videos. I low-key feel bad for her. I am a time to time listener,I like some songs.But idgaf about any of the idols. Its just good music to me. 🤷♂️Anyways thats what I think. I totally agree
Yes, I do think of myself as a parasocial demon but not to an extent on that I do not have a life. I have a lot of things severe parasocial demons don’t. I have been trying my best to be better, but with a sprained ankle and being sick, it refrains me from a lot of things. Kpop IS a comfort for me but, not always.
I don't really stream my favorite groups music videos that much I only watch them when I want to, plus since I don't have any social media besides TH-cam I'll only vote if someone makes an announcement that a website has one of my ult groups in their voting (ofc I vote for the ones who deserve it) .plus I like things other than kpop to like hanging out with my friends, talking to my parents/family, going out with ppl I know etc. I have hobbies to, like I know how to play the keyboard (my dad taught me) and I think that was really sweet of him to teach me.
I've always loved kpop apps,like vlive and weverse, but only because i made friends there. I used to be quite introverted because my parents kept making me feel like I'm not good enough (scolding me when I didn't get a full mark on tests,even when it's a 97%,or forcing me to weight myself and eat more etc). I found comfort in these apps because there people didn't see the true me. They couldn't see my acne, my scars,my abs (and yes,i used to be insecure of these because before i got into kpop i was used to only men having muscles and abs) Kpop does help in some situations. For example,i was insecure of my acne scars,but i saw ni-ki in iland,i was insecure of being skinny,but i saw Wonyoung and told myself "hey..this crap isn't okay" and I started to eat without my parents having to force me,i was insecure of my height,but i saw aisha,and I'm the same height as her,i saw Kazuha,and i stopped being insecure of my strength. Kpop does help in some ways, it's just people who don't realize how to use these was.
I am no longer a k-pop stan but I am still not able to deal with my loneliness I have put myself out there and made new friends in college but they aren't really the people I'd like to hang out with they are rude and are very mean from my pov and my old school friends are busy with their own lives At this point I can't even have any parasocial realationship idk it's just not happening even if I tried Nothing seems to connect these days
Keep trying. I struggled a lot to make friends in university but made friends easily in my job. Sometimes the right people take time to get to. Keep trying different hobbies and social groups. Putting yourself out there is better than being a parasocial demon
@@timingmile7030 well thank you for the advice and i am extremely happy to tell you that i might have actually found a friend that i like i dont know how long it is gonna last but i am hopeful and yes i didnt become her friend accidentally' i put myself out there as you mentioned' so if anyone is reading this and feeling hopeless then take it from a person who has actually been there, try to make friends interact with people and be kind to everyone you never know when you will your best friend
i think i fall somewhere in between, like i'm definitely not the most casual listener but i'm not constantly thinking about my bias it's like, i casually listen to some groups and don't really know the members ( svt, le serrafim & more ) then there's groups like enhypen, just b and &team. i listen to their music, watch their content at my own pace and am familiar with the members and then there's bts, i just adore them so much, like, i dont necessary listen to the music a lot anymore, it's more once in a while for me to listen to their music and watch their content my life isn't consumed by kpop like it used to be anymore and i just stopped caring if i didn't watch the latest episodes of everything. with bts starting their solo careers, the content basically just multipled by seven i used to kinda have fomo like i didnt know this about my bias but now it's like oh ! that's interesting and move on with my day there's no point to me saying this honestly i just wanted to comment 😭
yo im back!! but bad news ill be dissapearing again for another 2 weeks or smthn i dont really know im just really busy rn (more details soon on my community post), for the meantime enjoy this video and follow my spotify pls x: open.spotify.com/user/31e262xprrveirscl7xqhheyuvnq?si=b7302810f36b4ecd
love yall!✌
Thank for the video it made me realize what i was doing this video gave me goosebumps you're right like wth i was doing the whole day just imagining myself with kpop who dosen't even exist here like just wasting my day with imagination after watching this i realize what shit i was doing i m just a teenager who is obsessed with kpop when i m free,sad,lonely,depressed and even happy i will watch my fav grp and then my all lonelinss and sadness is gone and thanks for the advice too I really love your vids you speak the truth keep it up
Thank u so much for the vid
indo bang?
@@tears6667 yoi
I don’t stan but consume a lot of Kpop content. Instead of going out and socialising, I sit at home and watch Kpop content from bunch of groups. This video makes so much sense even for a casual fan like me
Right! Although, now I’m literally forcing myself to not watch content because life is getting busy and I realize how it can affect me if I let it, watching kpop content, go on too much/ too many times a day/ in a week. I thought I was a casual fan lol but😅🫣
same, growing up overly protected by a religious mom didn't help me with the whole going out and socializing thing either haha
I came to kpop as an outsider because this was all I knew about it and I got that lonely lol
Same for me I don't why,I always watch funny videos and always see if there is any update from groups.I am causal fan but it's like I am addicted to them.
guys i think this comment is sarcastic
I agree that kpop does bring happiness (in a way) cause it's a music industry (basically) and music does bring emotions like happiness. Finding motivation from kpop idols is also kinda justified. Journaling about them(to cure boredom), going to concerts, buying merch (in a healthy way ofc) everything is pretty ok, just like how every person has specific interests. But sometimes it just gets way too much and to a point where I think "TOUCH SOME GRASS". This is one of the things that makes kpop industry so interactive and huge right now. They're not just selling music it's wayyy more than that.
And with all the fanservice and opportunities to meet idols whether fansigns or online fan calls it really can add to the delusion they are selling to fans. Which is really sad because it works *too* well…
(which can make some people, wherever they’re at in life, exhibit harmful behavior esp. towards the artists but that’s a whole other convo)
@@anyone1111 yep true
@@mahii.27 oh god i hate fan calls so much, usually because it’s always the same people, and they annoy the idols, make them uncomfortable and treat them like toys.
@@cyerk nah but some stans be doing too much like wth stop
I agree
Back when I was in college, I would say I was a bit of a parasocial demon. I pre-ordered all their albums (signed if I could get my hands on em) and watched every interview and variety show they appeared on. I went to their concerts whenever they were in town. A part of me was hoping they would notice me in the crowd, or I’d run into them at a Starbucks in the area, or something else delusional. One time, I got the chance to do a meet and greet after one of their concerts where you high five and say hi to the members. I was so excited to finally meet the people I idolized, but after it did happen, something in me died that day. I realized that they were everything to me, and I was just one of many fans. I used them to escape my lonely and stressful student life. Once I realized this, I started to distance myself. Started to make friends, even ones who liked kpop. I’m just a casual listener now, but I’ll always be grateful for the times their music gave me comfort.
Can I ask who was the group ?
That last line! I was too broke to get the merch and go to concerts but I prided myself on knowing their birthdays, favourite colours, hometowns, siblings, having all their pics on my devices but I grew out of it thankfully.
I sometimes feel FOMO seeing other fans getting to "do more" for my faves but I'm ultimately happy I mellowed out. I hope I can one day go for a concert!
@@-Desire OMG same! I was too broke for attending concert or fanmeet but i tried to remember all my idols like and dislike,even their allergic food.and it still makes me sad that i can't go to concert like my friend,but now i realized i even don't know myself while i search everything for my idols.but thank fully,i still enjoyed my life and touch some grass when i'm still new to kpop
@@daijubu4916 got7!
The part about meets and greets being disappointing as hell is so true. And the amount of money you have to dish out to get one of those tickets is insane
This is why I deleted my Twitter app a couple months ago. I realized I wasn’t focused on what’s in front of me and honestly it’s freeing. I’ve learned SO much more about myself, actually enjoy kpop for the music & arts again, and just more in touch with myself and reality itself.
I just did the same recently and it's crazy how much i'm actually more in the 'present' now. I remember just last fall how i would wake up in the morning and the first thing i would think about and do was to go on weverse, twitter, and instagram to know the most recent updates and posts of my favorite group.
@@timotheechammywammy3214 yeah exactly! for so long that was my daily routine and I definitely wasn’t living in the moment and now I know what it’s like to feel like a genuine human being now
I'm trying hard every day to quit k-pop stan Twitter. It's a mess honestly 😣
Twitter is toxic. I quit it too
@@Alwy2209 delete the app and start there. that’s the best thing to do
I remember when IU was revealed to have a boyfriend and she's my ult bias, I was SO happy for her.
Someone had to say it! Such a great video!
K-POP is for most people a tool to escape reality instead of just music. But we have to accept that avoiding reality doesn't make it any happier...
As a kpop fan, it is truly scary how kpop fandoms have developed over the last years. These are real people and like Yunjin said not your doll. The way they managed to build this industry around this that much is concerning to say the least. Consuming kpop content etc is fine, but only to a certain extent. Just stop caring so much about the idols lives and get manage your own life first and just let people be.
Also I‘m not a native english speaker so excuse any mistakes pls
That's the whole goal of the labels: selling delusion to fans so that they become obsessed with idols and obsessed with their private lives so that they can later consume more and bring more money. It's all about the money. They know that everything is fake but use it to make money
K-POP did help me in a lot of ways (I started dancing - not only to K-POP, met some great people, go out more, get to do things outside of my comfort zone like public random dances or recording covers...) but this parasocial relationship is something that also affected me. As much as I love K-POP for all the amazing experiences it gave me, at some point I really struggled with the feeling of loneliness and would focus on a group too much.
Even after I realized it some time ago, it was still sooo difficult to just stop being invested. Cause if the group you're following uploads content daily, it's really hard to avoid it. I still wanna know what's happening. I still love this group. I slowly care less and don't watch everything they put up. But when there are weekly lives and I skip them, sometimes I still feel like I'm missing out. I also think it's kinda blocking me from liking anyone and getting into a relationship - cause there's part of me that compares anyone to my fav. And how are they suppose to compete with someone I idolize? I don't wanna be a delulu and I know that there's no chance of dating this person, and yet it still affects me cause at some point I allowed myself to get too invested cause I felt so sad and lonely. Like it's so annoying when you know what's wrong but you find yourself falling into this rabbit-hole anyway :D
sorry for the rant but I'm always a bit afraid to fully express my feelings to friends or therapist especially if they're not a K-POP stan. this felt like a safe zone :D
You should speak to your therapist about your feelings. It's their job to help you deal with your trauma so you can get the most out of your life.
Same
Girl... or guy.., you spoke 100% of my thoughts on kpop EXACTLY .... like I know KNOW what I’m doing to myself but I can’t stop it...
Kpop feels like a p***n addiction not going lie if that is your source of happiness and all that
Literally just look at the smut fanfiction these fans write lol
@@bellsgotitnowftthose are the worst tbh
i think it's less of not giving af but just doing everything in moderation!! STANNING a group is completely different from just being a fan. forcing yourself to like everything by your fave simply because they're your fave is the easiest way in becoming a sasaeng fan/ stan. streaming a song because you genuinely like it and buying an album because you think it's a cohesive piece of work is the best way of being a casual listener and not a "TOXIC KPOP STAN"
Good piece. I stopped watching k-pop content a few months ago. I still listen to the groups I like, I'll still watch a mv here and there but I don't immerse myself in the content anymore and it feels a lot healthier. Sometimes I still get a pang of guilt that I'm not "supporting" them, especially the rookie groups with lower fan bases. But it didn't feel free, like there was a regime of how to support your favs and it didn't feel like innocent joy anymore. Now it kind of feels like I left a cult tbh. Cult lite but still
bro- what did i even watched right now!? this gotta be the most honest and eye opening video about kpop ever made. I, myself have been there and yet I'm not completely changed but I'm taking steps for sure!! rn for me things are like this- my high school is almost over and i go to college this year so its already a big change in my life and also the sad thing is i'm not friends with any of my school friends now and im quite aware of how lonely and depressed i am. for past few months i had a really hard time when i would stay up all night crying and feeling betrayed and all that depressing shit. i have trouble making new friends bc of my social anxiety and i've lost all of my old friends. so now what i decided to do is, focus on myself. I try to not feel bad for myself and be sad all the time for not having friends. I have been studying for my exams and doing good. i do listen to kpop most of the time as i am very much interested in music and wanna learn about it more in the future. anyways, i do feel lonely at times but i just accept it, either cry out or go outside in nature. i also turn to kpop content when i miss my old self being with my friends and all. its more easy to live with 0 friends than to make friends for me as i have really really bad social anxiety which i can do nothing about at the moment, cause i've tried things and yeah no change. also i cant afford to have a appointment with a therapist so i have to live with this anxiety for a while. but i can still make some progress by working on myslef in 4 walls. so yes, you can turn to kpop for comfort and happiness when you feel like it, it can work like a recharge for you and change your mood for better. after all this is our lives and we should spend most of the time of this life for ourselves only!
Tbh i cant really help how interested i get into kpop and other forms of media because of my autism. kpop is definitely one of my special interests and brings me lots of joy and yes i would say sometimes i am lonely i have very bad social anxiety so i dont tend to get out much so i turn to parasocial relationships exept i know these people don't know me and i know they dont know i exist but they do give me a sense of comfort,does it make me feel less lonely ? Yes and i cant really stop myself from being interested.I know im still lonely but im fine with that now,it used to bother me but ive gotten used to it because of my special interests because they give me so much comfort and happiness and obviously my situation doesn't relate to every person who feels lonely and has parasocial relationships but I'm hoping that maybe someone will realise that not everybody is the same and not everyone should be clumped into a certain reputation.😊❤(also im not an obsessive creep i dont care what idols do in their spare time cause it dosnt affect me)
As someone who grew up in the kpop fandom, I'm happy I had kpop. I was lonely as hell. Still am. I made friends, in and outside kpop, and I'm not lonely anymore. But I love kpop. I'm somewhere awkwardly between stan and casual listener. I stan groups and keep up with them, their music and their content. I was never delusional as in i legit thought my idols gave a single crap about me, but my idols for sure where my besties when I was 13-15. And then I realized it was too much. I stepped away when I was 16, almost 17, for around a year or two, I was very very casual, when Spotify recommended me some kpop of the groups I used to listen to, I checked them. And when I discovered onlyoneof I got pulled back in. I usually don't give a fuck. I've been a kpop stan for way to long to deal with all this bs, especially 4th gen drama, honey, its too much. I usually yawn when i see a glimpse of kpop drama. This video is still very eye opening. Did I get pulled back in because most my friends moved away? Because I spend most my time alone? Now, don't get me wrong. I came back to it when all my friends lived around me, when I was at school everyday and had a more or less active and fun life. I have really messed up shit in my brain since I was 14, panic attacks to be precise, and I tend to be depressed. I don't want to self diagnose though. What I want to say is that maybe kpop does work like a fake shelter, it does work like a fake parachute to your loneliness. I am now mentally at my worst I've been in a while. And I'm constantly online. I'm casual, sure, I don't get emotionally invested in things that are emotionally negative in the first place. I like to obsess over music and storylines and the beauty of mvs and stuff. I like to obsess over things I love. But is that healthy? I kinda doubt it. It's still a parallel reality, it's fake, it's not actually here, and as humble and casual as I may be, I still fall into that trap. I've been in this fandom for 8 years, casual, not casual, all the types. I know it inside and out, but the bad thing is: I don't know a life without it. It's pretty dark honestly. Growing up in this fake world. And the funny thing is I know EXACTLY what kpop is about, how dark it is, how it destroys your brain. But the temptation is just there, always.
I don't wanna sound too deep, it's just kpop after all. But for something that is so obviously toxic and obvious in brainwashing you, it works surprisingly well.
they need to pin this .This is exactly how i feel. I am a casual listener but sometimes i feel like i get too obsessed with them very quickly. I wacth their YT content,MVS,save pictures. I am trying to step back from it al. But its so hard.i get you.
I relate to this so much. I got into kpop in the pandemic, where I had no friends left and alone and spent all my time consuming kpop content and being obsessed with my idols. But when I got back to school, where I started interacting with irl people, I realized that I’ve been spending less time watching kpop content. Idk I felt kinda guilty that I’m not as invested but I think it was for the best.
yeah i'm so comfy with staying home and pretending im a kpop idol in my room... it's really not good at all i need to get out and have a life while still enjoying listening to kpop music in general
I think one example of people being in parasocial relationships would be garam and her fans. The way the industry was designed was to make you obsess over these people so you can buy everything that is produced by their company with their name on the label like you said ofc. You’ll see people still talking non-stop about her and going on and on about her personality as if they know her personally. Half her career was just that scandal, and whether it was true or not its sort of weird how you see people be so attached to her acting like they’ve built an immense emotional connection with her
my advice for parasocial demons
- delete twitter. if you’re just using it for keeping up with the uptades or to look for photos, than alright. BUTT if it’s for fanwars, hating etc. then delete asap.
- do not read fan fictions. specifically 18+ ones. those will make you addicted and will make you believe that the x idol is your bf/gf/sister/bro whatever.
- quit from the fan wars. trust me it’s life changing.
- stop comparing yourself to your idols. if you are very insecure, then i recommend you to watch or ask someone for confidence tips and maybe (if you are REALLY insecure) try to not focus on your idol until you become confident.
yo imagine they got like, obsessed with history, and like every week their "idol" would be like Alexander the Great or something. these stans would be so goddamn smart, but ig there aren't that many flashy TikTok edits about historical figures
@@blinkerz4676youre right tho
I got into kpop during the pandemic, and I love it so much. The way I do kpop is mostly keeping up with official content from my favourite groups, and read a ton of fanfiction. I've never spent money on it, and my only delusions is that in my head all members of my groups will remain best friends forever and ever, because they all love each other unconditionally. My brand of obsession is that I love idols being super close friends to each other. I'm consuming other people's friendships, but I think that's ok.
Same. Most of us aren't delusional 13 year olds who want to date Jungkook of BTS. The kpop world makes us happy. We're savvy enough to see through the rest of it.
i never thought i was that deep, as i was never upset when idols were revealed to be in relationships, and i never really thought of them as close friends or potential partners as they're marketed. but i found kpop at one of the lowest parts of my life when i as lonely and depressed (quarantine lol), and now that im in a better space, i find myself not consuming kpop content much anymore, apart from the music, which upset me cause i still enjoy it a lot. i thought i was growing out of it, but i think im just not lonely anymore. i see my friends all the time, and i've expanded my interests a lot. this video helped put it all together, thank you.
"Escapists afraid to live their own lives."
I do not know these people and I know they don't know me.
I think that's where the disconnect happens for some people. They think the things their biases post online shows how the idol truly is. When in actuality, we don't know how they are behind closed doors and not in front of cameras.
We. Do. Not. Know. These. People.
There are some positives. I'll use myself for example. I was really down on myself last year ngl but I found the group that I absolutely love stanning and they made me happy. Like, I haven't been sad and depressed, which is insane to say but it's my truth. They motivated me to find what I'm passionate about in life. That's making art, being a good source of light for others, and being happy doing that. I wouldn't be looking into different jobs, moving, learning a language, or really anything if it wasn't for them.
It's really wild to think about it like that. Even though they're younger than me (we all in our 20s, don't worry lmao), I use them as a positive influence for me because I didn't really have one in my life at the time.
So thanks to kpop, because I can honestly say I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for some random twitter link to New Jeans - Cookie which made me go down a rabbit hole and find Le Sserafim. Kpop really wasn't on my music radar at all. I'm a Youngboy fan. How tf did I get here?
everything in moderation, that’s the key. it’s entertainment, so you can take whatever you want from it. you just wanna enjoy the music ? you can do just that. you turn to idols just to get style inspiration from them? you can do just that. use the kpop industry as a way to expand your happiness, to learn about new things if you’re interested in the industry, to find inspiration, not to distract yourself. these people will keep making money while you might be consuming the content just to ‘delay’ your feelings, numb pain etc. it’s important to take a step back and analyze why exactly you consume the content you consume :)
Tbh accidently finding about kpop in 2010 was the best thing that ever happened. I met so many kpop fans and became more outgoing. I've been an ARMY since 2014, and definitely saw the change of international fans into parasocial demons. It is crazy how obsesive people are. At the end of the day I just like their music and like seeing them in concert. The technicalities are not something I worry about. I do wish them a happy life but I never felt the need to know every little thing about their personal life. And also another point is the projecting that a lot of fans do. It's to the point where it seems like they strip away the idols' autonomy to favor only their thoughts instead of just staying in their place as a fan.
I'd classify myself as severe. I stan BTS's Jungkook. I devote a lot time streaming, buying, voting and consuming content. I spend a lot of money on his music so he can reach No.1 on billboard. I know people who are even more obsessed than me, they take out large loans so they could spend it on Jimin’s music so he could chart on billboard. There is a lot of pressure on stan twitter to donate constantly for BTS music so could chart. A lot of kpop stans are chart obsessed too
I think we should create a category between those two categories cause I'm in the middle like I won't give a single f if one of my idols date someone or gain weight and I don't participate in any form of fanwars cause idc, i buy albums and merch but won't ruin myself for this and i don't collect pcs either but at the same I watch excessive amount of extra content from my fav group which aren't music related like reality shows, vlogs, edits on tiktoks, videos on twitter, watch their lives, wait for trans of their lives, follow their every move ect. Tbh yes i'm lonely but i kinda like being lonely ? I mean before knowing kpop i was doing just the same with books i spent my whole week end on my room reading and writing instead of going out. I know one day my group won't be a thing anymore but well i guess will like another group by then like i do not really care ? Thats weird i know lmao. Great video btw
There’s a difference between being lonely and being alone. You’re interchanging the terms in some of your arguments at times.
Your ability to think and convey them through video is simply amazing. You're incredibly good at this. Thank you for making me think about such important things for all kpop fans. I hope you're doing well🤍
You speak the truth
Like u just called me and so many kpop fans who are stuck with kpop imagination right now i have to focus on my studies and i m wasting my whole time by watching kpop when my family watches tv together only me is the one in the next watching my fav grp i was litreally not giving time to my famlies today was my last exam and now i m having my holiday i will surely focus on my studies and do something but i will surely try my best not be obsessed with kpop and thank you for the advices u got me when u said that streamimg the mv voting them u just need more recoginition cause u r telling the truth umm u r just amazing
Keep it up
Great vid as alwaysss!!!!
I try not to be too obsessed with kpop idols because I know how parasocial relationships work I’m 13, so it’s hard for me but I’ve found ways to not feel so lonely.
Mainly talking to people online and interacting through calls, it’s helped me a lot, it’s doeisnt feel as good as real life, but.
It’s something to help me socialize and improve my social skills
this is such a good insight. i know that i have a lot of these 'parasocial demon' tendencies, but i try not to think about it in my day-to-day life, but sometimes i do need a brutal wake up call. although i go through various levels and phases of kpop, i can fully say that im addicted. i cant go a day without kpop and that's kind of scary.
however im fully accepting of that because if not for kpop i think i would be far worse off. i have always suffered from bouts of severe depression, and kpop is my coping mechanism in those times. as awful as it sounds, there have been times where i convince myself to keep living for comebacks, telling myself 'i have to keep going until then'. when im on the verge of a panic attack i calm down by watching content. seeing idols i love working hard inspires me to keep trying. im very grateful to kpop because i know that without it i would have turned to far far worse coping mechanisms. im not saying my relationship with kpop is anywhere near healthy, but it's kept my life together and continues to do so, and if being a 'parasocial demon' is the price i pay for that then so be it. i know the whole point of this video is saying that happiness shouldn't rely on kpop, but kpop truly does make my life brighter in a way that nothing else ever has, and im a firm believer in doing what makes you happy.
In 2017 I started stanning blackpink and became a kpop fan. I was a little sad at those times, so I found comfort there. Then, in 2019, I was still into kpop, but I started to dance to some Twice songs with some friends I knew and some new ones! That was the best that happened to me. I consider myself a casual kpop-fan eventhough I do dance to it with my friends, but I created a healthy relationship with how I enjoy the music, and made some amazing friends and a new hobby! Just wanted to share my story, because kpop got amazing things into my life, but I agree with everything in the video. It's all about who has the control.
(Sorry if there's mistakes, english is not my first language)
I've been a kpop fan for 13 years but I'm only 'stanning' artists for the past 4 years and I'm really struggling with this. There is a very fine line between the fulfilling love I can feel from having a favorite group and a complete delusional downhill. It's all cool until I just casually listen to and watch them, but the moment I start thinking about them as people - as in longing for knowing them in real life and stuff like that -, it's suddenly super painful. But sometimes I cross that line unconsciously.
I'm an adult, I have a job, I have friends, I have a healthy relationship, and it still affects me. Kpop doesn't only fulfill needs but it creates them too.
I think this is a video every kpop fan needs to watch! It’s so easy to get lost in this world and use kpop as a place to escape the reality.
i feel like the way you choose to introduce this topic and talkabout it was very creative I felt like a close friend who cares about me is giving me this advice
Tbh I feel like I'm in between casual and parasocial. I just recently started getting into kpop but I wouldn't really call myself a kpop fan as I only stan stray kids and listen to a few other songs from other groups. Although I do watch a lot of content from stray kids, but its usually when I'm bored or just in the mood to check up on what they're doing. I do go out and hang with my friends and family, but I'm not going to lie to myself and say that I don't feel lonely at times. I've always felt lonely as it has always been hard for me to make friends and I just recently got a nice group I hang out with pretty offen, but I have noticed that when I feel lonely or anything I tend to bench watch skz and this video helped me spot that and work on it. I've also noticed I tend to go from "obsessed" to "obsessed" as in I tend to really like a group or a celebrity/idol for a awhile only to lose interest and find another group or celebrity to fan over. Its a cycle and idk why.
I definitely see it, especially for social media-heavy kpop stans. Being so invested by the industry, engaging in fanwars, being secluded and consuming content... it can be pretty daunting, given how much the industrial aspect of kpop is so overwhelming. I have had moments where I had to take a step back, because it was all too much. The negativity got to me, and I found myself doom-scrolling, which is a red flag for me for when I get too overwhelmed.
On the other hand though, when I focus on listening to the music and supporting my favorite artists, I found so much joy. More than that, because of kpop, I also made new friends, met many awesome people, and even bonded more with friends I already had. For all the negative that may occur, there are these true moments of happiness. I think everything has to be made with moderation. Know yourself and your boundaries. When you feel like you're drifting away too much, that should be a warning. But ultimately, do what makes you happy deep down.
And for anyone struggling with loneliness right now and feeling sad because of it, I see you, and I love you. I wish nothing but the best for you ❣
you just made me re-evaluate my entire life. wow
lol reminds me of when i went to the infinite concert in nyc in 2013 and i almost got trampled to death in the crowd, then realized that the parasocial world i built in my head to escape my terrible adolescence was all a fantasy. once again reinforced when I did the hi touch with vixx the following year only to feel this numbing empiness inside which my friends mom noticed enough when she commented that i didn't look very happy afterward. almost 10 years later now i realize that my entire life was centered around idols. but tbh, for me i think it was unavoidable because I viewed and still kind of view kpop as a way that I could connect with the culture I was born into but didn't get to experience because I was adopted from korea. but now I have actual relationships with real korean people instead and I've finally filled the gap of my identity without having to rely on celebrities that will never even know my existence.
OMG, THIS IS SO TRUE, i know i'm like one year late to this but i recently got into kpop and saw like how the fans get extremely crazy over these idols. i saw a post where they made kpop idols apologize bcuz they're dating?! like wtf bro. And i also saw how fans get really wild at like the airports when the idols arrived, like um...it's really concerning. i hope more people watches this video and snap back into reality
10:54 Well, thank you for validating me lol. I always naturally take breaks from consuming "idol content" otherwise it consumes you. Like we gotta combat this FOMO they install in us! It's ok to listen to the music/mv and not watch like a thousand interviews and extra content every time.
PS: I think you are one of the best k-pop channels i've come across in a while. Tysm for the content. Especially looking forward to mv theories!
I found u bc i was searching recently"dark side of kpop..toxic fans who dont know they are toxic..fanservice..etc"
First of all, english is not my first language so sorry :)
Your videos make me think a lot, thank you for talking about these kind of subjects and helping me realize the impact that the things i love have on my mental health.
Certainly, i have healthy relationships, i feel good with myself even when im alone, i acknowledge that i am depressed, lonely, sad ect.., i don't give a f*ck about who my idols are dating, who they are friends with, if they've win an award or something, so i don't think ma case is very "serious", but i'm still lonely, i feel lonely and i know it, i realize that when i listen to or consume kpop, i feel less lonely. But I had never taken time to think abt what it meant etc
I will try to be the "casual fan", even if i know it's gonna be difficult bc i'm obsessed and i admit it. Kpop often motivate me to start projects, helped me regain a little self-confidence, helped me to find out who i really wanted to be, but i know there is also negatives sides.
I love your channel, your videos are amazing, thank you!
I used to like kpop but when I got friends I stopped, and when I lost them I got into it again....
great video, as always!! yk, for the person who was tired from this huge delusional part of k-pop fandom, it was such a relief to find your channel! your videos are always pleasant to watch and not only because they are filled with common sence (which is really, REALLY important for me), but because of the amazing editing too! i really appreciate your work and i hope that some day all the words you say would reach all the k-pop community. you deserve all the fame and popularity. thank you for the video! you are definitely my favorite k-tuber
"Im after the shadow behind it." Mike Choi.
So I really really smiled after watching this video. As a kpop fan, somewhere in my life i've found about how kpop is controlling our feelings, advertising and selling to us both material things like albums and immaterial like stereotypes, expectations. Understanding this, I've became a casual kpop fan who doesnt give much shit, but appreciates some things such as for example artistry seen in kpop in many many ways. When you were asking those questions: "do u have more pictures of urself, ur friends and family than ur kpop idols?", "can u look at yourself naked in the mirror and be okay with it?" etc. ...I answered "yes" to every single one of them. I smiled, because this is the validation I kinda needed. I feel that I've just chosen freedom, and I am free.
Also I really like to say that kpop helped me, meaning it really inspired me to dance, sing, maybe even taught me comedy and how to flirt lol.
anyways.
Kpop community is such a group of people. Can't say something is better than doing a random play dance or just vibing to some iconic songs with someone else. I love making friends.
.
.
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Offtopic need to say, that every single one of Your videos that I've watched I find really good, enjoyable in a way, important and honest. Thanks for them all, they bring platform to people to think about real stuff.
Party
Thanks for giving us a reality check at first i was offended by this video because KPOP was the source of comfort, happiness and it means the world to me because it saved my life. I was A KPOP fan since i was 13, the first song that made me liked KPOP was BTS blood sweat and tears, and black Pink playing with fire, at first i was not a big fan of kpop even if i liked those songs but it gave me a good impression. But after that i became depressed because i found out that my friends were all fake friends and i was betrayed by them, i fall into depression and my relationships with my family and friends felt distanced, and i felt like i needed someone to be there for me but no one did and i discovered this I NEED U by BTS, it felt like they were in emotionally pain and it made me feel like i was not alone i wanna stop watching kpop everyday and become a better person
Remember, you are always loved by atleast someone ♡
@@CherryBlossom-lc3mj in reality, no . thats what i wish i had
I think it's all fine if you stay grounded in reality- oftentimes I catch myself living purely in my head, it's almost like moving to another dimension or realm when I get too much into my fave groups or fandom business. I appreciate how they spark my creativity, make me ponder over many different aspects of life and let me connect with many wonderful people, but when I start to feel more like an online presence rather than a real person anchored in the physical world, it's a sign to take a step back. They will not disappear while I take a break, my friends don't, even if we only talk every once in a while. I don't need to know what my faves are up to everyday- although I must admit the fear of missing out in kpop is very real. I don't need to know every fact about them and don't need to own every piece of merchandise they release. Being an active member of the fandom also adds to the obsession. Comparably, following western artists I never was near what I now consider being a stan of my ult group, and a casual stan at that. In many cases I didn't even know my fave musicians real names or faces despite knowing their music by heart. I think it's the best approach to kpop too, although I understand how it works and how it feeds into and profits from parasocial relationships.
To add, right now I am taking a break from the group and the fandom. I still follow updates, but the amount of attention I pay them daily decreased significantly.
I used to be a severe kpop stan when I was 11-13, I deadass thought I was meant to marry Jungkook and he's like 9 years older than me lmao, thankfully it was just a phase..
😶ohh☺️🤗
Never expect someone acting that cute just to exploit me. Madly disappointed !
i became ARMY in lockdown and I used to watch them all day long but as time passed idk I stooped watching them now I am no more excited for their new songs/albums/ live anything and everything to the point that now I completely have no idea except that now they are serving in military.. and I am actually kind of happy that I no more into this kpop thing because the disadvantages of this are honestly concerning
its just perfect, the efforts you put in editing damn, your voice and what you said is also damn and yesh dude i enjoyed it
i love your content literally its so always so specific in some topics (in the best way) very freaking interesting
ur so underrated man..love your content
I'm glad I've watched this video and how everyone discuss about it in the comments. (Not just only this video)
I'm happy I found this video pretty early on. I liked some TWICE songs intially for the beats, then for the vocals and soon enough I found myself binging on Korean reality TV shows with TWICE features. It is so much easier to escape into pixelated reality than it is to admit that you're lonely.
I know you want read this comment but I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH I’m 14 I love K-pop and your so right thank you for giving me a reality check cause I may not admit it but yeah I am kinda obsessed it got to a point were I would fight with my OWN parents because they said something bad about K-pop although I never treated a K-pop idol like a bf or anything weird like that they were my comfort place but still at the end of the day I was lonely and I needed real people who would actually help me and be there so THANK YOUU
Wow🤗
@@begooddontactgood796 ☺️
@@Tomorrow-by-tudoro 🤗
It's pretty much true for all entertainment media though. Drama series, anime, reality shows, live streaming , TH-cam and Kpop contents. So everything comes down to how you yourself enjoy those.
Honestly, it’s true that Kpop is an escapism. For me, it’s not the community really, but the music. I listen to 90% kpop, and if I feel sad I’ll just find some funny k pop videos, or turn on some kpop music and dance, etc. I used to be really into a certain group in 2021, but I stopped being obsessed with them after I realized how toxic their fanbase was. I just listen to the music, and enjoy watching idols perform. I also somewhat use it to escape from my loneliness. It’s not like it don’t have friends, it’s just I’m not very close to them, and they’re also not into kpop which makes me relate less or them.
finally youre back i have regained my energy and purpose to keep going on
we all need God for real
Everything you say, in every video you do, is straight-up facts, and this is a really important topic and you spoke about it.
How can you be so self-conscious and have so much insight ? That's sooo interesting, thank you
i feel that you can also include the aspect of open-mindedness in the end section of your video because there are kpop stans who only listen to one group and not exploring more genres and groups to widen their music taste and practice reaching out to different fans for a fresh perspective. at some point you will get tired of one kpop group that you only like and whats there to do anything about it. in human nature, we're explorers and we cant just ignore the growing curiosity of whats in and beyond our comfort zone. sure, being loyal to your idols is okay, but my brother in christ, you got to be open more. be open to more experiences. be open to life, especially.
never i wouldve thought that the quote "you're a human first before a kpop stan" would solidify its meaning even more thanks to this video.
you got me with the gallery one lmaooo i love to go on pinterest and just start saving photos
And it's not good for the idols too they cant hv a relationship without upsetting fans. They are probably lonely themselves
5:54 ok but that's weird lol. i wouldn't even think they're dating, but that's like a guy in class having a drawing of me and him as his pfp...ummm??? unless the yeonjun and yunjin are already close friends ofc.
I am trying to detach myself from my fav kpop artist. But somehow he always end up being in my search bar.. and I don't feel enjoyment but sadness over his mistreatment by so called group fans, members and company done to him. When I sleep a few times my mind had shown me dreams if I would meet him, I want to tell him everything nice
I am an introvert person but I was a happy and optimistic person because I had alot of hobby and people around me who loved me. But I came to United States to study when I was 18 years old and thats when things started to go wrong way for me. I met bunch of friends in my university but at the end I felt so lonely and isolated. Eventually I started to listen to kpop music because I stumbled upon a video of twice and tzuyu caught my eye. I considere myself a casual fan but I was slowly becoming a parasocial demon without realizing. I used to go out with my roommates and friends but eventually I stopped doing those things. I felt comfortable being alone and watching kpop contents. I even found myself fighting with stans who were saying bad things about groups i like. I felt bad for idols who didnt have many fans so i forced myself into streaming. I started to see the people around me as my enemy and i hated people which made me go into survival mode. I almost fell into depression( i am not saying because of kpop but it was fueling my loneliness). I am healing and getting better day by day. I try to recycle my thoughts and put that thought into something that helps me actually. I still listen to kpop and i love alot of songs but i stopped caring about idols. I need to take care of myself first to take care of my people( my family, friends and my cats). I still have hard time when i am alone at home but it is getting much better now. I truely hope people find themselves and be self contained enough to not be sad about some idols.
Omg I can't thank you enough for this video. I came to realization that what I'm actually doing. I'm speechless
so i wouldnt consider myself a causal fan, nor would i consider myself a parasocial demon. i do love a lot of groups but i barely even care about their variety stuff once i watch a bit of it just to get myself into a group. i also mostly listen to their music when it comes to what i do to support them,, i listen to a lot of music, both kpop and non all the time. i have seen a lot of meme videos because those do make me happy, because jokes and giggles are what cheer me up, and i use that almost like joke to get into a group cause music is what makes me happiest haha :)
but i hope people learn to realize that these people arent their friends, you dont know them. really good video! loved it
a lot of meme videos* as in whenever im down haha ill watch a short 3 minute meme clip and feel better :)
after watching the ending i realized i am def a casual fan lol
Watching this video for the 2nd time now because I've been feeling a little crazy about kpop idols again :D
I feel so exposed watching this😐
A lot of people should see this but won't ❤
Become devotee of krishna. Its so so healthy
This 13 min video is so perfect to make u realise how kpop actually effects you. Love how u don't force any opinion but just portray the truth as it is. The structure of this vid is perfect too. Pls never delete it.
Nice choice of a song at the end there. Back when it came out, I was a little kid and I was so confused about the whole song and what it was about. Nowadays with kpop and the general social media obsession it's just as relevant, crazy 🤯
Thank you for this video. Although I'm a casual kpop fan, I also find myself arguing with people online over idols in general (not even the ones I'm a fan of) and sometimes getting even too happy for the idols, so happy in fact that I start hating my life 😂
Thank you for this reminder ❤️
this video actually made me think about my involvement in kpop and i totally know that im parasocial af as i always been even before kpop but with kpop i started to fall more into parasocial demon category. like i care about my favorite idol(but not to an extend of judging their relationships, looks etc.) and kpop group and stuff but again not to an extend to start fanwars, streaming 24/7 and etc. kpop sometimes help me to get distracted when my mental health gets critical (i have schizotypal personality disorder but it almost progressed to schizophrenia) but like its okay, other music helps me too. so idk if im that deep into kpop or not but at least i think i understand my loneliness and accept it. but anyways thank you for your vids, its the second time i watch your vid from my youtube recommendations and im a sub now lol
I have been a kpop fan for many years, i think people who stan kpop just want to feel loved, even if it’s fake. I have had real life relationships but it is hard to get that feeling from real people. As long as you can balance your real life with kpop properly i dont think the parasocial escapism is too bad
Can you do a podcast on spotify about these topics?
I like to hear it when i wanna go sleep
I definitely feel this in an aspect of my life.
I agree with everything you say!! As a casual kpop fan,I can see this happening with lots of “ Stans.” The company wants us to have this BF/GF relationship with our idols.Thats how they want their trainees to act. At least towards their fans. I had a friend who was OBSESSED with kpop boy groups. She went to loads of concerts and has loads of pics and her room FULL of posters. She would actually cry went she watched her videos. I low-key feel bad for her. I am a time to time listener,I like some songs.But idgaf about any of the idols. Its just good music to me. 🤷♂️Anyways thats what I think. I totally agree
Yes, I do think of myself as a parasocial demon but not to an extent on that I do not have a life. I have a lot of things severe parasocial demons don’t. I have been trying my best to be better, but with a sprained ankle and being sick, it refrains me from a lot of things. Kpop IS a comfort for me but, not always.
U by super junior being in the background is perfect because their fandom along with cassies are the mothers of parasocial demons
I don't really stream my favorite groups music videos that much I only watch them when I want to, plus since I don't have any social media besides TH-cam I'll only vote if someone makes an announcement that a website has one of my ult groups in their voting (ofc I vote for the ones who deserve it) .plus I like things other than kpop to like hanging out with my friends, talking to my parents/family, going out with ppl I know etc. I have hobbies to, like I know how to play the keyboard (my dad taught me) and I think that was really sweet of him to teach me.
That is so true... I am speechless. I used to be a severe fan, luckily, i escaped it. Being parasocial demon sucks...
I've always loved kpop apps,like vlive and weverse, but only because i made friends there. I used to be quite introverted because my parents kept making me feel like I'm not good enough (scolding me when I didn't get a full mark on tests,even when it's a 97%,or forcing me to weight myself and eat more etc). I found comfort in these apps because there people didn't see the true me. They couldn't see my acne, my scars,my abs (and yes,i used to be insecure of these because before i got into kpop i was used to only men having muscles and abs)
Kpop does help in some situations. For example,i was insecure of my acne scars,but i saw ni-ki in iland,i was insecure of being skinny,but i saw Wonyoung and told myself "hey..this crap isn't okay" and I started to eat without my parents having to force me,i was insecure of my height,but i saw aisha,and I'm the same height as her,i saw Kazuha,and i stopped being insecure of my strength.
Kpop does help in some ways, it's just people who don't realize how to use these was.
I am no longer a k-pop stan but I am still not able to deal with my loneliness
I have put myself out there and made new friends in college but they aren't really the people I'd like to hang out with they are rude and are very mean from my pov and my old school friends are busy with their own lives
At this point I can't even have any parasocial realationship idk it's just not happening even if I tried
Nothing seems to connect these days
Keep trying. I struggled a lot to make friends in university but made friends easily in my job. Sometimes the right people take time to get to. Keep trying different hobbies and social groups. Putting yourself out there is better than being a parasocial demon
@@timingmile7030 well thank you for the advice and i am extremely happy to tell you that i might have actually found a friend that i like i dont know how long it is gonna last but i am hopeful and yes i didnt become her friend accidentally' i put myself out there as you mentioned' so if anyone is reading this and feeling hopeless then take it from a person who has actually been there, try to make friends interact with people and be kind to everyone you never know when you will your best friend
i think i fall somewhere in between, like i'm definitely not the most casual listener but i'm not constantly thinking about my bias
it's like, i casually listen to some groups and don't really know the members ( svt, le serrafim & more )
then there's groups like enhypen, just b and &team. i listen to their music, watch their content at my own pace and am familiar with the members
and then there's bts, i just adore them so much, like, i dont necessary listen to the music a lot anymore, it's more once in a while for me to listen to their music and watch their content
my life isn't consumed by kpop like it used to be anymore and i just stopped caring if i didn't watch the latest episodes of everything. with bts starting their solo careers, the content basically just multipled by seven
i used to kinda have fomo like i didnt know this about my bias but now it's like oh ! that's interesting and move on with my day
there's no point to me saying this honestly i just wanted to comment 😭
Good video 👍 I think bts’ song “pied piper” reflects this concept well, I see the song as more of an ominous warning than a cute telling of love
All obsessive stans need to see this
You're doing great , hyeautiful thankyou for this video
Love how you divided tge section
The
all of these points were just straight facts‼️
I really though you were gonna say "... cause she would be dating me ..... nah seriously tho I'm being fr"
This video wake the fuck me up. Thanks.
said Travis Scott profile picture
I want to be a more casual fan, but I dont know how to start.
I always come back to this channel,so necessary! Kpop has been making bad for too long and I couldn't really express the why's.thank u for the video
All kpoppers need to see this
this is such a great video this is literally the most reality check of all reality checks