I use a wheelchair. I cannot *list* how many insensitive questions I've gotten. Not the least of which being 'Do you understand me?' asked in a singsong, childish voice, on the assumption that my spinal issues somehow mean I'm intellectually incapacitated in some manner....
@@juanorozco1971 Full-time. As opposed to myself, who is what is called a 'dynamic' wheelchair user, as I can do some, but not many, tasks outside of my chair.
I had one in the same vein as the "Are you autistic?" one, asked of me while I was working the self-checkout at a grocery store. One of the qualification for being a good cashier is being friendly, and I was greeting every customer who came to the checkout, even if I wasn't ringing up the items myself. One customer came up to me and, completely unprompted, asked, "Do you have Asperger's?" I was too caught off guard to react with anything except an honest (and confused) "No." Later, my dad suggested a comeback that I wish I had used: "Yes, in the produce section," implying she didn't know how to say asparagus. I've also been asked if I have cancer, because of my very thin and fine hair. No, I have an anxiety disorder and stress will do that!
@@KajaJensendingleberriez people who ask if you have autism are almost never asking out of the kindness of their hearts. Also, it's generally considered rude to ask that to a stranger.
Mine is along the lines of story 17's. I worked in a grocery store for many years and, even when I was a shift manager, would often end up covering breaks for our customer service desk. One day I'm covering breaks and one of my previously favorite lottery customers came up to buy his tickets. We started talking, because, again, he was a regular, and then he asked "why'd you bother getting married if you weren't going to have kids?" Now, I wasn't one that was unsuccessful with getting or maintaining a pregnancy, but my husband and I had decided we wanted to be in a better position financially before we did. When the person I was covering for came back, I went into our office and just cried. I refused to talk to that customer other than required for the job ever again.
Six months ago I was literally hit by a truck while crossing the street. I was in the ICU for 3 days, and out on leave for over a month. My father, who was with me, was killed. It was quite the scandal in my small town. When I reentered the world, I went to a bowling party to see my friends. One woman (acquaintance, not friend) started talking to me and asked how my family and I were doing. I was still incredibly uncomfortable talking about the emotional turmoil we were going through, so I talked about my shoulder injury, my fractured ribs hurting, but my dislocated thumb was out of the splint and doing better. She replied "Its weird that he was only going 30 mph", as if a big giant ducking truck going as fast as Usain Bolt shouldn't cause so much damage to a 5'5" woman. I gave an awkward chuckle and quickly excused myself.
People do not realize how heavy cars are and how fast 30 mph is. People sometimes picture 30 mph as like walking or light jogging (because when you are in a car is feels like nothing). Heck even someone who is just running runs into someone can hurt like crazy and break something. A heavy vehicle (even small ones are heavy) going way faster than someone running is going to cause damage. Sorry for your loss.
I'm pretty obviously trans, I only pass sometimes, so I get a lot of gross questions. I get being curious, but there are lines you shouldn't cross in polite conversation. The number of people who feel they can just ask about my genitalia or chest is ridiculous. Unless you're my doctor or my date, you don't need to know about any of that.
Really looking forward to 20 years from now when LGBTQ+ acceptance has progressed so far that we don't even bat an eye at it. I really don't get it. I've only ever asked someone about their gender identity once, and it was just to confirm that my very curvy co-worker named Kevin was he/him, so I could be sure to use his correct pronouns and be on the lookout for anyone who might talk shit about him behind his back.
As a trans woman I feel this so hard. I use tinder and hinge and guys ask the most insane questions ever. Even when I put trans woman on my profile and list in bio I'm not interested in hookups they always have to bring my genitals into it.
Being biracial myself, I have gotten SO MANY weird questions as a kid since at the time, I was the only biracial kid in my class. A lot of them were variations of asking if I was adopted since most of them only ever saw me with my mom and she’s white and a redhead while I am very Asian looking. Then when I’d try to clear things up I’d get accused of lying. Oh and I’d get asked this several days in a row by the same people to the point I legit thought they had some head injury affecting their memory.
I tell people my grandfather was Ghanaian and that makes me 1/4 Ghanaian, and I’ve got these GOLDEN questions: Do you speak Ghanaian (not a real language) Does that make you Ghanese? Do you speak Swahili? What’s that?(In reference to the country of Ghana, not my grandpa)
@@ahhno4662 I’ve gotten similar in regards to being 3rd Gen ABC. 1. Can you speak Chinese? (Then accuse me of lying when I tell them I never learned) 2.what part of China are you from? (Then accuse me of lying when I tell them I’m American born) 3.why isn’t your mom Chinese? My mom told me all girls look just like their mom! 4. Demand me to tell them their Chinese name when I told them mine. I then had to tell them that there’s a bit of a process behind it and not just translating their English name into Chinese.
Dude, same here. My mother is white and my father (who is long gone) is hispanic. Since i look nothing like my older brother or mother, peoe ask if im adopted all the time. Now i just snap back with, "what, white people cant get adopted either?"
One I used to get a lot when I was younger, particularly at church: “Are you mixed?” Note we were all black, and the other kids would frequently ask this, since while clearly black, I had a lighter complexion and freckles. It suddenly stopped when one kid asked and an adult overheard, stepped in, and ripped into everyone for being insensitive. The adult in question also had a similar complexion and freckles.
I have a lot of trauma and it has resulted in A LOT of anxiety and panic attacks over the years. In 4th grade and in my first year of college, some people who saw me in the midst of some of these episodes asked if I was schizophrenic. SERIOUSLY?! No I'm not. There is definitely high possibility of me having PTSD and autism, but I'm definitely not schizophrenic
"Since you've had surgery, are going to finally lose weight?" I got back surgery October of last year, spent a month on bed-rest, and 4 months of physical therapy. I still walk with a cane. At this point my doctor has told me to my face that it's healthier for me to maintain my weight, than to try and lose. Don't get any bigger, but don't stress your body out trying to get rid of a few extra pounds that aren't causing any issues.
The whole 'Touching a pregnant woman's stomach thing' is still here in the US. When I was pregnant so many complete strangers would run up to rub my stomach. Most were old people. If you acted like you disliked it or asked them to stop they act like you punch a puppy in front of them followed up by "Well, back in my day" "People use to be so much nicer" and things like that. I have no had a kid in a little over a decade, but I have seen new moms be stuck in the same situation, so I know it is still going on. It is so creepy, awkward, and uncomfortable, but you won't believe the people who think you should have no privacy/ rights when you are pregnant.
21:14 I may not have many social skills, but one of the first things my mother hammered into me was "Don't ask a woman if she's pregnant. She'll bring it up if she is." And in my experience, they do! You can also tell by how they rest their hands on their bellies in an almost protective way, whereas people who are not don't really touch or interact with their bellies in any fashion beyond the usual.
For me the worst thing of utterly idiotic/insulting questions i've gotten (me having frequent butt bouts of insomnia) is if i have tried just going to bed earlier. I've had times being on the edge of punching someone for that, usually as i'm absolutely exhausted after a 38hour+ of being unable to sleep. Once countered that question with "how much pain would you like?" I had such a noment of 'i haven't slept enough for this bs'
My husband died unexpectedly two years ago. I've been asked "why cant he request his medical records" after explaining he died. But the most ignorant things are more of the statements rather than the questions. For example the BMV sent him a letter stating his license was suspended for not providing insurance at the scene of the accident, that he died in. Then explained to me, even though I explained he was dead, he had to come in person to get his record straightened out. I slapped googlie eyes and a hat on his urn, buckled him up (lord forbid he get into another accident), and went on an adventure to the DMV. What I'd give to get cctv footage
Not insensitive, just annoying and dumb. I'm aromantic and asexual, and I, in particular, fall under the 'never wants a relationship or sexual intercourse' section of it, but I still do feel attraction to very few people. I've only been romantically interested in one person, my ex BF, and the only over person I've been sexually interested in is this one guy I saw once and never again. My ex BF broke up with me because I was leaving the hospital we were both at in a few weeks. We dated for, like, seven months and he severely traumatised me from his obsessiveness and manipulation. My friends know all these facts. And they *keep on asking me* "Hey, do you like [insert name here]" or "Why don't you like [insert other name here] back?" or "[Insert name] likes you, can you at least pretend to like him back?". I DON'T EVEN GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL ANYMORE??? I live, like, two hours away now, and I don't even want to talk to you guys! Kiss off!!!
@@kellharris2491 I don't see them anymore lol Unfortunately, they have my number and keep texting me and my mother keeps unblocking everyone I've blocked the moment she gets her hands on my phone, so, yeah..
Fellow aroace, hi! (I would like a non-romantic relationship, just no intercourse) I have been asked by multiple people if my ex-boyfriends were just “that bad in bed” or if I was sexually abused/ violated… they do not like when I calmly and clearly say I was violated *because* I’m asexual, not the other way around Also, you need new friends
Fellow aroace person here Why do people feel the need to force other people into relationships? My mother was fighting with my sister cause she broke up with a dude
I'm somewhat guilty of asking about ethnicity like once. I was sitting in a train car cabin with a girl clearly being East Asian. I wasn't trying to be rude so I started with saying "I'm sorry if this is a rude question to ask but where are you from?" We talked a bit about how annoying traveling by train in my country (where this happened) is compared to hers (she was Japanese). I hope it wasn't rude, I was just curious. I usually am curious about this without any reason other than liking to know (non-white people are few where I live other than roma people) and maybe asking about their country of origin. I think the rudest questions said to me were about my gender. I'm a guy. My grandfather asking me and really trying to be polite: So does this mean you're... gay or something? (Sounded less rude in my language) This was just after I first dyed my hair purple. Don't you want to cut your hair so it's less purple? - My grandma every month. After the question she always jokes about cutting it in my sleep and I absolutely hate it. Who the f*ck would dress like this? - Random guys on a party in the mens restroom after seeing me dressed as a girl. I froze a bit, laughed from the cringe, politely told them some guys prefer a more feminine look, example *pointing to myself*. Then as the shock/cringe wore off I got angry and wanted to punch them. Right after the guys went out of the restroom the security got in after me to tell me this isn't the womens restroom and I told them I know and the same WTF look froze to their face as the guys had. This was at a party building where all kinds of shit happened over the years because of corrupt security from drug use, drugging of women, nudity sometimes but they haven't seen a guy in a skirt with long, purple hair and a bit of make-up. EDIT: by long hair I mean 8-12 inches from the top of my head, so barely over shoulder length
Oh I have a story for this - I'm mixed race. I'm racially ambiguous so people ask about my parents races without asking more about them. One time as a kid in an after school class one of the adult volunteers was talking to me. The only thing she knew about my parents was that my mother was white and my father was black, she had absolutely no other information on either of them, hadn't asked, and had never met them. She remarked that I was super smart and asked "do you get that from your mom?" (for the record, my father graduated with honors with a law degree, not that I should have to prove a black man's intelligence blech) Same person also remarked that I was a troublemaker and asserted confidently I must get that from my dad. Again, she'd never met him and knew nothing about him besides his race.
16:30 as someone who is actually autistic, it’s not some much that I don’t like people asking it in joking sense, it’s when it’s implied that it makes one inferior that aches me. We’re just different, not better not worse, just different
I'd ask them if their carpets matched the drapes and if they said yes or got upset/embarrassed, then they have their answer, or point out that it's not so nice being on the receiving end of that question.
In reference to story 19: "What breed of tribe are you?" *What?* Now for a story of my own from my middle school days. I don't know if I would call this insensitive or rude, per se, but it was asked frequently enough to be very annoying. One of the questions that was asked constantly when I was in middle school, mostly when I was in 7th Grade and heavily by other girls, was "Who do you like?" No context, no hello, just straight up ask that question. Now, I realize that might have been them trying to bond or being immature, and it might not be fair to hold that against them, but crushes and liking people was a VERY sore subject for me back then, and it was the last thing I wanted to talk about (Not that they could have known that, since I never talked about it). What really bothered me was how pushy they were about it; I'd try to play it off by saying "No one in particular", only to get a "Come on! Everyone likes someone!" from them. What I was thinking was "None of your f&@!ing business". Or a very sarcastic " *Your dad* ".
Also related to story 19 and 20: I got similar questions as a kid Due to being the only biracial kid at my grade school. Later found out that school was SUPER anti interracial marriage.
Ahh I have many stories to this One when I was working as a front end supervisor at a chain store. I was two men come in from a shady white van. One man did not speak English well, and went to one of my female coworkers harassing her making her uncomfortable. I went to intervene and the dude straight up looked me up and down slowly (mind you I'm a 4"11 babyface female) and says "you have nice child baring hips. You look for husband?" I was shocked and clearly said "nope! I'm a lesbian!" Than he makes this comment back "ahh! I like women to."
My top two I was asked are "Do you know where you live?" I was 18 at the time. And "are you out trick or treating?" To clarify, I was not in costume, and it was not Halloween.
I was at the gynecologist for my annual peek-and-poke exam (I'm in my 40's and have had lots of these done), and after some rather uncomfortable poking and prodding he popped his head up and with a Draco Malfoy-esque sneer asked, "Do you even HAVE a cervix?" The two nurses in the room looked appalled by his blunt question. I was stunned for a moment before getting irritated by his demeanor and replying "Yes, I do..." Before I can question his qualifications for doing the procedure he was attempting he interrupted me to ask, "Well did you bring it with you today, because it's not here." At that point one of the nurses scooted out of the room and the other was looking like she just watched a kitten explode. "We're done here. I'm out" and pulled my feet out of the stirrups and scooted back on the table, pulling the drape over myself. I got a phone call the next day from that practice informing me that that doctor was no longer practicing at that clinic. Hopefully getting fired shocked some decency into him.
A bunch of these stories remind me of whenever i talk to someone for the first time,. No matter what, without fail, I get asked "where are you from?", Granted this isn't an insensitive question due to having a thick accent but it's gotten to the point where I have a rehearsed reply, despite the fact that I was born, raised and never left the country.
We are childfree and once came across a sale's person that had built his entire pitch around people having children. I was looking for a tablet and checking out shops that sold them. This was when the first tablet that you could spill water out had just come out. It was expensive but he saw a couple in their 30's, and he figured this would be an easy pitch to us and the children he had created in his mind. He even had a glass of water in his hand and started the pitch by pouring it over the tablet. Him: So when your children spill water on it, it won't break. Me: We don't have children. Him: But you have people coming over with children. Me: No. Him: (not able to understand some people don't have children in their lives) Why not? Are you weird or something? He didn't get the sale. We went to another shop and bought a cheaper tablet that you couldn't spill water on but who cares? I dropped it by accident only three months later and shattered it. Good thing I only paid 800 Danish Kroner and not 5000 Danish Kroner for it. The waterproof one was 5000. I would never pay that for a tablet or a phone, not even by today's standards.
For the lady with a "masculine" name - I guess some (not all) people who ask that stupid question want to shame her parents for "wanting a boy". And not realise that if that's their intention they should be asking her parents and not her. I got that A LOT as a kid for being an only child. Countless adults asked me why am I an only child and wouldn't it be better if I had sibiligs as if I could do anything about it 😬 those questions only brought pain and reminded me how lonely I was. Adults wtf. Get your sh*t together.
At a hotel pool: “Are you old enough to be responsible for your little sister?” She was my step daughter. I was 30. Same hotel, when I forgot my key card for the elevator and asked the receptionist if they could help: “What room are you in? We can call your parents for you.” I look young for my age but not THAT young. Maybe the stress of being closer to Russia ages people prematurely and the middle-aged receptionist was actually 22 🤷🏼♀️ (Edit: This was in eastern Europe).
This didn't involve me, but it is kind of a family story. When my sister was very little, She and my Mom were shopping. And, at one moment, a big lady walked by them, and my Sister said, without whispering, "Wow! Why is she so fat?" And my Mom just squirmed, cause what are you supposed to do? She couldn't scold her, cause she wasn't being mean. Or apologize to the lady, cause that would just make it worse. We all collectively cringe to this day. Children can be brutal, because they don't even realize it.
This one girl back in High school was pretty much up my butt. She kept asking me "Are you gay? I've never seen you with a girl". "So,are you gay or not?". For the record,Im straight. I kept telling her "Im not gay" and she kept saying "Prove it". Karma got her in a big way. Junior year,the whole school was in the main gym. My school had 3 gyms. She was in the bleachers,I was around the basketball hoop. A fight broke out between that girl and some guy. Her wig came flying off. I witnessed it. I went from 😦😧😁😆🤣😂. Karma. After that,she never messed with me again. If she did,you all can bet your dinners I will bring up the wig getting ripped off thing.
Well I'm a male goth and I keep getting nasty looks from people. Like I'm some kind of ungodly creature.. it use to bother me but now I just I don't care about how they look at me. Also people like to just invade my personal space and touch my Chockers, bracelet's, leather jacket and jewelry. It really pisses me off when they just randomly touch my things. Like I don't know who you are bruh.
I had people all my life ask me how I broke my nose or how many times have I broken it. Up until I was 50, my nose had never been broken. I had a bad fall and broke multiple bones in my face, including my nose and had to have plastic surgery to repair the damage but my nose still looks the same. No one has asked me if I have broken my nose since I actually broke it.
People used to ask me all the time (before we started our family) if my wife can have sex. I was like "ya i mean what you think because she is in a wheelchair shes like a barbie down there?" That usually gets people to shut up 🤣
Story 30 - I'm autistic myself. Almost never get asked that. Which yeah, goes to show that you're right, it's NEVER asked in a legitimate way Story 24 - If I have money to spare and I get asked by a beggar for money or food, I usually have them follow me a bit away - up to three blocks - to a place to eat. It lets them get away from store owners who may be about to call the police for loitering and it filters out ones who are doing it as a scam rather than out of a need
I'm a bit of a bigger girl, and most of my fat gets stored in my stomach, so a lot of people assume I'm pregnant. Usually it's fine, and I've even taken to calling it my "imitation pregnancy belly", but I had this one butthole at work who took it way too far. This happened a few years ago, so the exact convo is fuzzy, but basically I had a customer at work come up to me and ask me about my pregnancy. I explained to him that I was just chunky, and he wouldn't believe me. Don't remember how it came up, but I mentioned that my at the time roommate was male, and the guy kept going off and asking questions about us being a couple and him being the father. I tried to explain to him that we were platonic, and that I'd never bee interested in my roommate that way (I'm Aro, but wasn't out yet), and he kept going on about how a woman and a man can't live under the same roof without it being physical, and that we were going against God. Jokes on him though, because now I live with my gay best friend's NBTF partner, and we're going to be moving in with him next year. I'm sure the guy really wouldn't like that.
I have cerebral palsy, use a wheelchair full time, and the questions. Oh, the questions. We're not talking base-level "can you walk" stuff, but more along the lines of "can you have sex?" and other very, very _personal_ inquiries. (FTR, yes, disabled people have all the same feelings and urges and what have you, and do, in fact, _fuck._)
I was in line at Walmart (by the way this is in Canada where we can barley own guns for hunting) and I was waiting for one of those self checkout things to get a snack before work. I was in my camo jacket and cowboy hat and I am really tall so I do kinda look intimidating. But she starts scanning faster and keeps looking at me concerned. She kept looking around my waist and I think it was because she thought I had a gun because she basically ran out of the store with her groceries and daughter. The crazy thing is that I always try to be very sweet and right before I asked a girl carrying a lot of things like dog food if she needed help. Makes me sad that even if I try to be nice sometimes people will still be scared of you. :( (maybe she was looking at something else I’m not great at reading people but I still think she was worried)
When I was maybe 5 or 6, I asked my great uncle (Vietnam vet) if he killed someone. Many years later, I realized how insensitive that question was, and how bad it really is to ask someone that.
A woman I know asked me if my work makes me lonely. I have to spend a lot of time working alone, but in sum my work brings me into contact with very diverse and likeable people. A pox on people who gaslight you about your work.
I worked in a butcher shop, since I was 18 years old. Yes, I am female, the owner was so impressed they got me certified. I was one in three females in my state that is or was certified at the time. I had a lot of older ladies come up and ask " Is there a butcher here?" They would ask . " I'm a butcher, may I help you?" " Oh can I talk to a male butcher??!" It used to make me so mad. Just because I don't have something between my legs , doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. Matter of fact I had one of them last night. " I started telling them. The men would just laugh. You wouldn't look at a male nurse who might save your life and say may I have a female nurse. When we are in these positions we are in it because we know what we are doing. Rather we are male or female.
Back in highschool, my mom use to be friends with one of my friend’s mom (keep in mind I didn’t really hang out with her a lot). One day my mom went on a walk with her and that person had the audacity to suggest to my mother that I and other friends should be tested for autism because of what she considered to be “unusual interests.” I was a major history nerd at the time mind you! Of course my mother is an Art therapist and she thought it was odd the person said that about me.
Four months ago I was trying to get ahold of my mom all day. She has medial issues,was babysitting my puppy and I was just checking on her. I tried all day and around 2 I finally got a text from my nephew and then called my sister only to find out my mother had passed away. I ran into the office and told the managment team at the store I work at that my mother had passed away. Four of my managers ran up and started hugging me and just trying to comfort me. One manager,who seems to have the worst timing and says the most offensive things looked at me and asked if my sister was pranking me! Even the managers who were comforting me,One who bent down and tied my shoe when he noticed it was untied,looked at her and asked if she was crazy! I asked her if she was f'n nuts! I immediately apologized but still. I couldn't believe she said that. Two managers asked her how she could say such a horrible thing. At least she got my stuff for me but when I got back she never said anything about it other then to defend my dad when he was being mean to me and to ask me why I wasn't working so hard. Since I got back,Two weeks after my mother passed,I might add.,I did 44 rewards cards,41credit apps,In July,and got the employee of the month. (I've started snapping at her because at least that way it seems to back her down.)
I was desperate for friends growing up. So desperate I made friends with girls who openly mocked me (called me ugly, short, too skinny, annoying, clingy, and nerdy). I didn't care, I finally had friends. In high school the 'bad' girls ending up liking me (they were a grade ahead). They thought I was funny and found my nerdiness to be adorable, even though they had no idea what I was talking about). I stopped hanging out with the mean girls and hung out with the 'bad' ones. Yeah, they smoked both cigarettes and other stuff, but never once tried to get me to try it. They asked once I said no and they never asked again. One day, after hanging out with them I was home and my mom looked at me and asked "Where are your other friends I liked them more". She knew the other group made fun of me. They even did it at my house in front of her. I told her I stopped hanging out with them reminding her why (I got into some dark thoughts when I was around them). Her response "I liked them more. Why should you stop hanging out with them because they are a little mean? That is what friends do". Her wish half came true. The leader of the bad girls moved away and so did another. The other two got closer and pushed me out worried a slightly younger nice girl would ruin their reputation. The other half of that wish didn't happen though. I refused to hang with the other girls and they wanted nothing to do with me. So, I was alone for the last two and a half years of school. Those girls apologized the last day of school (but for two of them thinking they were not too bad to me). It made me realize it wasn't in my head and they were purposely being mean and making fun of me.
Story 25 at 14:44. That just sounds like a normal sibling rivalry. Granted it’s wrong for her to act like that but that’s common for sisters. That’s how it was for me and my sister. When it comes to siblings, parents tend to make their kids share everything, especially if you’re close in age. It make you feel like people think you are exactly the same. Having friends in grade school was finally having something you don’t have to share. You’re not just so and sos sibling, you’re your own person. That changes when the sibling comes around. But trust me if your sibling’s friend ever was mean to you, your sibling will attack them in your defense.
5:00 I can understand being worried... but if youre just worried, theres probably a better way to get that across. Assuming thats even something thats okay for people to care about, hell if i know, ive had to learn social skills the hard way, and thus its an incomplete list still.
for context: I am blind and I’ve had multiple jobs. The universal question I’ve gotten asked at every job was “are you the owners daughter?” When I respond no, the inquirer usually says something like “oh! That’s amazing! I would’ve thought…” and stops midsentence. Because clearly, a person with a disability can’t have a job unless they’re related to the owner of the company. Another one that I only got ones was “were your parents really sad when they found out you were blind?”. Humans, you gotta love ‘em.
I once explained to a customer that I have a very mild form of cerebral palsy. Her immediate response? "If that's true, why aren't you in a wheelchair and why can you talk?"
I went to a college for kids who have autism and disabilities like that. I'm a film buff so nearly every night while I was there I watched a DVD. One Sunday night I watched The Sound of Music before going to bed. The next day, the older kids asked us what we did over the weekend. I said I watched The Sound of Music the night before, and one of the kids instantly responded: "Are you secretly gay?" It was dead silent, and I gave him a look of annoyance. I was tempted to respond: "Why, were you interested?" but didn't say anything. He finally just said that he was kidding and I just let it go and we moved on.
Ahh yes. High school. There was this one friend who always joked around and was a pretty big guy. He was a year or 2 older than me and even had the same name as me. Anyways he was feeling like he wanted to mess with someone that day. That just happened to be me. Anyways he asked me "are you going to shoot up the school?" Ironically he had like 3 assault rifles in his house and I didn't even own a single bb gun. What triggered him to probably ask that question was the fact I always wore a trenchcoat to school. I know it's a bad look but I'm most comfortable covered up. I just like the style of it. I might put more details later on. Let's just say the aftermath of this conversation resulted in me and him suspended till the end of the week. (2 days at the time) missed out on a lot during that period...😢
Can't say which is worse. The doc who kept asking how old I was because I was crying while the nurse tried multiple times to get an IV in me. My veins suck. I was 22 btw. Also I was having a shunt malfunction. Or the old man who made a comment or asked about my outfit, I can't remember which in church. While I don't remember exactly what he said I remember it was a veiled attempt to tell me my outfit(shorts & tank top. No cleavage) was inappropriate for church. It was July and in the 90s. Also I dehydrate easily. He was in dress pants, a button up shirt, possibly a tank underneath and a jacket.
Not a question, but a statement. I was in a car with three other dudes, going home after our shifts at the haunted house. We were all talking about something, maybe something about the differences in people, because what the guy in the passenger seat said about me stuck with me to this day. He was trying to explain why he liked me, but what he said was “you’re cool, you’re not like… a black guy, you know?” I didn’t know. I asked him what he meant. “You know, there’s a difference between normal people and n words.” Hard R. Needless to say, we never drove home together after that. But what gets to me is that people really justify this line of thought, simply to retain their own biases while acting as though they’re in the right. I don’t know how he expected me to react, but as the only black guy in that car, I felt very isolated. And to this day, I still wonder if the people around me only see me as “one of the good ones” or the “other.” To end that story, I did argue him down, he did apologize, but I doubt he really changed his mind. I lost another friendship with someone else in that car for a similar reason.
I went on a wim when i was yonger and asked a teacher is she was pregnant, she told me she was and asked how i came to that conclusion. I just looked at her and said usually you dont eat in class and dont tend to hold your belly for what i had noticed. She just laughand told me to be careful with being that blunt. She was an amazing math teacher. If i could i would honestly thank her for showing me its ok to stand up for myself even at school. Keep in mind i was only in the 7th grade don't remember exactly what point of the year it was to tell you my exact age Real glad i was correct bc man that would have been mean Edit was i hit the send button by accident lol fat thumb
"Why is your voice so high ?" I'm a man, and I got this question all my life. Sure my voice is pretty high and a bit weird but yeah sure. It's just kids who ask that so I never bother... Howerver, once I was in a runion for a scoutism project and after, that nice woman I knew for a few years told me that she discussed about that with some friends of her who are doctors which work on that kind of stuff, and that if needed I could get it fixed. She meant no harm but I was a bit surprised since it has been a very long time since anyone had made any reference to that but for now, I'm fine with it...
I work in a call center Philippines and we handle US clients, assisting them with their retirement plans. The rudest question I received was "Do you know you are taking jobs away from us?" (This is from someone who was laid off from his job after just months
"You're a white male. Your perfect little life was handed to you. Get over it". This was told to me by a fellow coworker, an older Caucasian female who knew nothing about me. I was going to mention that she knew nothing about the personal struggles, financial hardships, trauma and challenges that I've faced in my personal life, which have nothing to do with race or gender, but instead, I simply asked her to follow me. I took her to our Director's office, (he was a very successful African American man, and a person of great moral character) and asked her to repeat herself to him. As she began tripping over her words, I calmly informed her that my life was far from perfect, and though I couldn't relate to hardships I haven't experienced, she had no idea what my story was either, regardless of race. The Director informed her that skin color had nothing to do with the position I was in for our company, and it wasn't a factor of his success either. There is certainly societal bias against different groups based off of gender, race, and sexuality, but these factors are not evidence of the kind of life we lead, moral character, empathy or individuality. She later apologized for the remark, and I didn't hold it against her at all. We all have our own stories and lives to lead. Don't let anyone forcibly categorize you by anything but your actions and who you choose to be.
...Oh. When I was cashiering, I once had a customer ask me when I was due. I wasn't and still am not pregnant. Then, because she had a big order, I had to politely sit through her trying to awkwardly explain herself and make excuses. Also had a family member ask if I was sure I wanted to be tested for autism because she was worried if I got a diagnosis, I'd start acting more autistic.
I am genderfluid, and I don’t present any specific way (I somehow look like a girl and yet, at the same time, a boy.) I was once asked by my superchristian neighbors, “Yeah, but, like, do you have a P or a V?” To be fair, I was 13, and these kids were younger than me, but not by much. I deflected their questions so they never found out. Also, earlier that year, a person my dad works with asked if I had been abused as a child. For reference, I’m lesbian and this man believed that you only “turn gay” as an act of defiance after being abused. This was a man in his thirties, maybe forties.
After my divorce didn’t date much because I didn’t want my kids to deal with a stepfather, etc. I had an acquaintance ask if I was actually a lesbian. This guy was a functioning alcoholic and often inappropriate. I said no but I’m switching camps. This shut him up. He also said my son must be the milkman’s since he looked nothing like my ex. I finally said there aren’t any milkman, it’s the UPS guy get it straight. Note: there was never any question he’s my ex’s son. I just figure if people are going to gossip I might as well make it good. 😂 And people have no responses to these things.
Mine is from a math lecturer in my 2nd year of college. I was at the college in my 3rd year to do my final year project presentation. He asked me y am I still here
no.24 this kinda happened to me. I said I was sorry I didnt have cash but offered a few smokes. Dude got rude with me and started getting aggressive . He got a biscuit after that.
In NYS, you can qualify for benefits if you’re 4’9” and under. You also have to legally use an adult car seat to drive at that height, too. Thank god I’m 4’10”
Story 5 reminds me of when I went to my father's friends daughter's high school graduate party and her little cousin walked up to me and asked "Why do you grow your hair long?" (I'm a guy and my hair goes down to the middle of my back) and I just said "I dunno I just like it when it's long." And this 13 year old kid with a blond early youtuber era emo cut just goes "...It looks stupid." Now if I was a responsible adult I would have said something like "Hey, that's not nice." But instead I just said without thinking "Not as stupid as yours." The kid got upset and walked away and I was like "shiiiit i just told the party hosts nephew he looks stupid." Found out later the kid says mean stuff like that to people all the time and his dad and uncle thought it was fucking hilarious when the kid told them what I said lol.
Can she stand up? Same lady same question every damn time being in a wheelchair doesn't always mean that you're not able to walk I just wanted to get on a ride dammit!
Story 45, what's the obesity and hunger/malnourishment rates in Puerto Rico? This may be a case where someone with first world problems visits and a country where being overweight is a very alien concept to the local residents.
I too got the question asked by my own mother: "Don't u have a gf, are you gay?" My reply : No, I can't financially support myself, how am I going to even afford simple gifts for her? God, I dnt dislike gay people, they r cool. But God does it suck sometimes to be accused of something u are not
I am Russian Korean and I am frankly tired of everyone asking me where I am from. I tell them "from Yasenevo" (a district in Moscow). They then ask me if I am from North or South Korea. I have to explain that my ancestors were citizens of the Japanese Empire and were relocated to the USSR after the Sakhalin peninsula was taken over by the red army. Thus that was more than a decade before the Korean War and thus before the concept of north or south koreas. But the Sakhalin Koreans originally hailed from the southern part of the Korean Peninsula, that's as close an answer as I can muster.
I was 13 weeks pregnant and found out i had a missed miscarriage. I was scheduled to have a D&C Monday morning, Sunday the night before, my friend called as we talked, i told her i lost my baby and was set to have the procedure, her next words pissed me off and hurt at the same time “so are you going to try again” Like shit, im still carrying my dead baby and still grieving and she thought that was the time to ask? Seriously?
I am really thin, have been for years. It only got worse around high school because I would get stressed out about tests and lose my appetite. One spring vacation I was really stressed out over the exam period that was to come afterwards, and came back to school slightly thinner. My English teacher saw me, and the conversation went like this: Her: you lost some weight Me: yes, I did Her: was it on purpose? I've always been content with how I look and my weight, but her comment and what it implied made me horribly self conscious about it.
A kid at school asked me how I could stand looking at my dad. (He had an eye removed due to cancer.) I could not comprehend the kid's question. My dad looks like a pirate, what's your piont?
I worked in a baby shop and even then I never assumed anyone was pregnant unless they told me. Some people had given birth not long before, some where overweight Some women didn't show. It's not my place to ask or assume
I lived briefly in a small town in Illinois. I was in the small grocery there shopping. I hear an old man saying very loudly “where’s the Jew salt? I’m looking for the Jew salt”. I laughed when I realized he was looking for kosher salt.
I've been mistaken for a boy over VC and mistaken for my mom over the phone, even when I was a teen. Despite being bio-female, I have a weirdly deep voice.
I have the opposite problem. Especially on the phone. Despite being bio-male, I sound like a female over VC/on the phone. It doesn't help that me and my mom share the same face. 😅
When I was a kid I moved to a new town so I went to a new elementary school where I didn't know anyone. So the teachers tried to help my by pretty much arranging me and some other kid who also had no friends to be buddies. Sounds nice except one big problem, I didn't have any friends because I was new wheras he didn't have any friends because he was a complete asshole to everyone he ever met. So then everyone assumed I was like him and I got bullied and ignored by pretty much everyone in the entire school including some of the teachers. I was also unofficially diagnosed with autism and put in a learning disability thing with actually disabled kids even though I don't have actually have it, I was just kind of an outcast who liked different very things from other most other kids. So cut to one day when we are in our homeroom class waiting for our bus to be called so we can go home and I'm talking to asshole kid because he was pretty much my only friend and he says this "Hey dude can I ask you something?" "Uhhh yeah sure what's up?" "How come more people like you than me even though you're retarded?" And without missing a beat our teacher just looks at him and goes "Probably because he doesn't say things like that." I know now that I never had a disability and even if I did that isn't a bad thing, but man that really stung for awhile hearing your only friend call you retarded unironiclally. I stopped talking to him shortly after that and later got some real friends and kind of made a name for myself in middle and high-school. I've met some pretty shitty people and have been called some really nasty things in my life but I don't think I will ever forget that. Easily top 5 most depressed moments I have ever felt in my whole life. TLDR: "How come more people like you than me even though you are retarded?"
I served as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and was sent to Utah of all places. Some crabby old lady: "let me see your wrists.. yeah, I thought so. Skinny wrists! There's so much homosexuality in Utah. Mormons aren't a religion, they're a race!" Lady, I'm not even from Utah. I grew up on a farm in the Midwest. But yeah, I happen to be part of the fastest-growing "race" in world. Thousands of people are being added to my race every year.
I was working at wendy's, black lady came in ordered 10 piece nuggets. She goes and sits down in the back left corner. Old white couple comes in, after they order and are waiting for their food, the black lady walks up and asks for extra sauce which I give her and walks. The white old couple watches her walk back to her seat and they turn to me and ask "where should we sit?" I was confused by the question and told them anywhere. After a minute I connected the dots lol
I once had an absolutely obnoxious customer ask, upon learning that I am Jewish, "I heard all Jews are rich. Are you rich?" Ma'am, if I was rich, would I be wearing a $12 dress I got from Marshalls, working in a low-income area? No. I am not rich. Not all Jews are rich. Most of us are struggling to even hit lower middle class, just like everyone else in this Gdforsaken country.
Rude depends on interpretation. I was frequently asked if I knew I looked like Linda Blair. Now Linda Blair is a beautiful woman and I didn't mind the comparison. Mentally I asked myself is this before or after her head spun around and she spit pea soup.😂 The race question in the 2nd story. When speaking of someone about anything, my grandma, born in 1908 would ask if the person was black or white. We'd ask why did it matter and she'd shrug and sa I don’t know. We live in a predominantly black neighborhood and she got along great with our neighbors. I think she was just mentally trying to paint a picture. But 1908? Yeah, I don't think she was "politically correct ".
The teacher told me that I'm getting more plump in the face and arms by the way I'm underweight this could have been a compliment but the way he said it made me feel bad
I have a good one! This does need a bit of background first though, earlier that day I had just confessed my love to my boyfriend(I shall call them Sam) and also learned through him telling me that he had D.I.D, then while i was on break at work that day, i asked one of my coworkers (I'll call them Lillie) if they knew sam, my sister thought lillie went to this thing we do and I knew Sam would know them if Lillie did. As soon as I ask the question the way Lillie's face changes gives me a bad feeling and Lillie deadnames Sam (saying "ohh you know"[deadname]) then after me trying to back out of the conversation she says "you know they are faking having d.i.d" i put up my hand and walk away. But the worst part didn't occur to me for a week, Lillie had no way of knowing I knew Sam had d.i.d and might have outed him to me, luckily me and sam became enby and boyfriends that day so I knew about D.i.d but still Also somewhat unrelated she started"thinking I hated her" which I had tried to be nothing but nice after that incident because I get a lot of anxiety at work, and she interrogated me with questions such as, do i hate her (it was her fourth time asking that) do I think shes transphobic, and do i think shes a n*zi?! She has also now been fired, unrelated to that incident but pretty sure it was because she found out she was going to have to work with me for 4 hours(she was avoiding me since the interrogation) and threw a fit
As someone on the spectrum (Asperger's), I used to get asked a lot of questions that were mildly to majorly insulting. Anything from "do you understand what I'm saying?" in a really slow and patronizing tone (If I don't I will let you know, stop acting like I don't speak English.) All the way to things like "so you're basically retarded?" when trying to explain my condition. The questions have gotten sparser in the decades since my diagnosis, thanks to my ability to adapt, and most people don't know I'm autistic anymore. And, when someone either figures it out or (more likely) I tell them, I still occasionally get the classic "you have AUTISM?! You don't seem retarded to me!!!"
Worst thingS ever told/asked: -Are you going to look for the boy? (I had 2 AFAB kids.) -Are you sure are you supporting 'her'? It may be just a face. You are the adult and should know better. (I have a trans son. And yes, I am supporting HIM and will always do. He is the happiest he has been in years since he started hormone therapy)
"Oh you must've smoked during pregnancy" I'd have been taken to jail and the one saying that would've been on the ground in a broken mess. How the hell do people think that's something okay to say???
Also, my dad's mom somewhat recently pulled me into another room while she was visiting my Dad and grandma. She had a "how dare you" tone and asked if there was something I wanted to share that I hadn't already told her. When I said "no, why?" She got a look, and while she said this next part she paused and looked around before finishing her sentence: "Are you....pregnant???" I've been gaining weight lately, much of it from my birth control that can't be changed till at least October. I kept thinking about that comment for days after and feeling like sh*t each time. At most I've weighed about 140 lbs or so. Even if it was less, why she felt that was okay to do is beyond me.
I use a wheelchair, but I don't get the upfront sexual questions; I wonder if me being female makes a difference. I think people either assume I'm asexual, or they feel less comfortable asking a woman.
As for the giving money to beggars, I follow my gut as to what kind of person I give cash to. I carry $10 bills folded up slim so I can hand it to someone without embarrassing them or looking like a condescending jerk. I've been right most of the time. There are a lot of decent people who are homeless. And ten bucks gets you a hamburger.
“What kind of Mexican are you? Mexicans don’t have freckles or curly hair” I’m not Mexican. I’m Argentine & Nicaraguan. There are other nationalities in the Latin community; I know it’s quite the discovery
“How big are your boobs ..like 34 dd? E maybe?” While I was waitressing throughout college & nursing school. I wouldnt doubt I won’t be asked this in my new profession as a nurse
I use a wheelchair. I cannot *list* how many insensitive questions I've gotten. Not the least of which being 'Do you understand me?' asked in a singsong, childish voice, on the assumption that my spinal issues somehow mean I'm intellectually incapacitated in some manner....
Unrelated but lovely hat in your pfp!
FT wheelchair user, and it's freakin' insane the things people will ask.
What does FT stand for
@@juanorozco1971I'd guess either, featuring or full-time
@@juanorozco1971 Full-time. As opposed to myself, who is what is called a 'dynamic' wheelchair user, as I can do some, but not many, tasks outside of my chair.
I had one in the same vein as the "Are you autistic?" one, asked of me while I was working the self-checkout at a grocery store. One of the qualification for being a good cashier is being friendly, and I was greeting every customer who came to the checkout, even if I wasn't ringing up the items myself. One customer came up to me and, completely unprompted, asked, "Do you have Asperger's?" I was too caught off guard to react with anything except an honest (and confused) "No." Later, my dad suggested a comeback that I wish I had used: "Yes, in the produce section," implying she didn't know how to say asparagus.
I've also been asked if I have cancer, because of my very thin and fine hair. No, I have an anxiety disorder and stress will do that!
Why would you need a comeback when they asked an entirely non offensive question
@@KajaJensendingleberriez people who ask if you have autism are almost never asking out of the kindness of their hearts. Also, it's generally considered rude to ask that to a stranger.
@@KajaJensendingleberriezhave you ever been asked that? I have, it’s weird to just ask someone for no reason
As someone who is on the spectrum, I approve of the asparagus comeback. :)
Mine is along the lines of story 17's. I worked in a grocery store for many years and, even when I was a shift manager, would often end up covering breaks for our customer service desk. One day I'm covering breaks and one of my previously favorite lottery customers came up to buy his tickets. We started talking, because, again, he was a regular, and then he asked "why'd you bother getting married if you weren't going to have kids?" Now, I wasn't one that was unsuccessful with getting or maintaining a pregnancy, but my husband and I had decided we wanted to be in a better position financially before we did. When the person I was covering for came back, I went into our office and just cried. I refused to talk to that customer other than required for the job ever again.
Six months ago I was literally hit by a truck while crossing the street. I was in the ICU for 3 days, and out on leave for over a month. My father, who was with me, was killed. It was quite the scandal in my small town.
When I reentered the world, I went to a bowling party to see my friends. One woman (acquaintance, not friend) started talking to me and asked how my family and I were doing. I was still incredibly uncomfortable talking about the emotional turmoil we were going through, so I talked about my shoulder injury, my fractured ribs hurting, but my dislocated thumb was out of the splint and doing better.
She replied "Its weird that he was only going 30 mph", as if a big giant ducking truck going as fast as Usain Bolt shouldn't cause so much damage to a 5'5" woman. I gave an awkward chuckle and quickly excused myself.
People do not realize how heavy cars are and how fast 30 mph is. People sometimes picture 30 mph as like walking or light jogging (because when you are in a car is feels like nothing). Heck even someone who is just running runs into someone can hurt like crazy and break something. A heavy vehicle (even small ones are heavy) going way faster than someone running is going to cause damage. Sorry for your loss.
I'm pretty obviously trans, I only pass sometimes, so I get a lot of gross questions. I get being curious, but there are lines you shouldn't cross in polite conversation. The number of people who feel they can just ask about my genitalia or chest is ridiculous. Unless you're my doctor or my date, you don't need to know about any of that.
EXACTLY OMG
Really looking forward to 20 years from now when LGBTQ+ acceptance has progressed so far that we don't even bat an eye at it. I really don't get it. I've only ever asked someone about their gender identity once, and it was just to confirm that my very curvy co-worker named Kevin was he/him, so I could be sure to use his correct pronouns and be on the lookout for anyone who might talk shit about him behind his back.
As a trans woman I feel this so hard. I use tinder and hinge and guys ask the most insane questions ever. Even when I put trans woman on my profile and list in bio I'm not interested in hookups they always have to bring my genitals into it.
You ought to just say that. Unless you are my doctor or asking for a date you don't need to know that.
Being biracial myself, I have gotten SO MANY weird questions as a kid since at the time, I was the only biracial kid in my class.
A lot of them were variations of asking if I was adopted since most of them only ever saw me with my mom and she’s white and a redhead while I am very Asian looking. Then when I’d try to clear things up I’d get accused of lying. Oh and I’d get asked this several days in a row by the same people to the point I legit thought they had some head injury affecting their memory.
I'm sorry you had to go through with that
I tell people my grandfather was Ghanaian and that makes me 1/4 Ghanaian, and I’ve got these GOLDEN questions:
Do you speak Ghanaian (not a real language)
Does that make you Ghanese?
Do you speak Swahili?
What’s that?(In reference to the country of Ghana, not my grandpa)
@@ahhno4662 I’ve gotten similar in regards to being 3rd Gen ABC.
1. Can you speak Chinese? (Then accuse me of lying when I tell them I never learned)
2.what part of China are you from? (Then accuse me of lying when I tell them I’m American born)
3.why isn’t your mom Chinese? My mom told me all girls look just like their mom!
4. Demand me to tell them their Chinese name when I told them mine. I then had to tell them that there’s a bit of a process behind it and not just translating their English name into Chinese.
people are so weird about biraciality. I had a guy tell me I was white. Not ask, state in confidence
Dude, same here. My mother is white and my father (who is long gone) is hispanic. Since i look nothing like my older brother or mother, peoe ask if im adopted all the time. Now i just snap back with, "what, white people cant get adopted either?"
One I used to get a lot when I was younger, particularly at church: “Are you mixed?” Note we were all black, and the other kids would frequently ask this, since while clearly black, I had a lighter complexion and freckles. It suddenly stopped when one kid asked and an adult overheard, stepped in, and ripped into everyone for being insensitive. The adult in question also had a similar complexion and freckles.
I have a lot of trauma and it has resulted in A LOT of anxiety and panic attacks over the years. In 4th grade and in my first year of college, some people who saw me in the midst of some of these episodes asked if I was schizophrenic. SERIOUSLY?!
No I'm not. There is definitely high possibility of me having PTSD and autism, but I'm definitely not schizophrenic
"Since you've had surgery, are going to finally lose weight?" I got back surgery October of last year, spent a month on bed-rest, and 4 months of physical therapy. I still walk with a cane. At this point my doctor has told me to my face that it's healthier for me to maintain my weight, than to try and lose. Don't get any bigger, but don't stress your body out trying to get rid of a few extra pounds that aren't causing any issues.
One time someone asked me if I was afraid to look like my mum someday. My mum was standing right next to me. "afraid" golden choice fo words.
The whole 'Touching a pregnant woman's stomach thing' is still here in the US. When I was pregnant so many complete strangers would run up to rub my stomach. Most were old people. If you acted like you disliked it or asked them to stop they act like you punch a puppy in front of them followed up by "Well, back in my day" "People use to be so much nicer" and things like that. I have no had a kid in a little over a decade, but I have seen new moms be stuck in the same situation, so I know it is still going on. It is so creepy, awkward, and uncomfortable, but you won't believe the people who think you should have no privacy/ rights when you are pregnant.
21:14 I may not have many social skills, but one of the first things my mother hammered into me was "Don't ask a woman if she's pregnant. She'll bring it up if she is."
And in my experience, they do! You can also tell by how they rest their hands on their bellies in an almost protective way, whereas people who are not don't really touch or interact with their bellies in any fashion beyond the usual.
For me the worst thing of utterly idiotic/insulting questions i've gotten (me having frequent butt bouts of insomnia) is if i have tried just going to bed earlier.
I've had times being on the edge of punching someone for that, usually as i'm absolutely exhausted after a 38hour+ of being unable to sleep.
Once countered that question with "how much pain would you like?" I had such a noment of 'i haven't slept enough for this bs'
My husband died unexpectedly two years ago. I've been asked "why cant he request his medical records" after explaining he died. But the most ignorant things are more of the statements rather than the questions. For example the BMV sent him a letter stating his license was suspended for not providing insurance at the scene of the accident, that he died in. Then explained to me, even though I explained he was dead, he had to come in person to get his record straightened out. I slapped googlie eyes and a hat on his urn, buckled him up (lord forbid he get into another accident), and went on an adventure to the DMV. What I'd give to get cctv footage
I’m so sorry for your loss, RIP, but that’s also the best story I’ve ever heard. I’m applauding.
Not insensitive, just annoying and dumb.
I'm aromantic and asexual, and I, in particular, fall under the 'never wants a relationship or sexual intercourse' section of it, but I still do feel attraction to very few people. I've only been romantically interested in one person, my ex BF, and the only over person I've been sexually interested in is this one guy I saw once and never again.
My ex BF broke up with me because I was leaving the hospital we were both at in a few weeks. We dated for, like, seven months and he severely traumatised me from his obsessiveness and manipulation. My friends know all these facts. And they *keep on asking me* "Hey, do you like [insert name here]" or "Why don't you like [insert other name here] back?" or "[Insert name] likes you, can you at least pretend to like him back?". I DON'T EVEN GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL ANYMORE??? I live, like, two hours away now, and I don't even want to talk to you guys! Kiss off!!!
You need new friends.
@@kellharris2491 I don't see them anymore lol Unfortunately, they have my number and keep texting me and my mother keeps unblocking everyone I've blocked the moment she gets her hands on my phone, so, yeah..
Fellow aroace, hi!
(I would like a non-romantic relationship, just no intercourse)
I have been asked by multiple people if my ex-boyfriends were just “that bad in bed” or if I was sexually abused/ violated… they do not like when I calmly and clearly say I was violated *because* I’m asexual, not the other way around
Also, you need new friends
Fellow aroace person here
Why do people feel the need to force other people into relationships? My mother was fighting with my sister cause she broke up with a dude
I'm somewhat guilty of asking about ethnicity like once. I was sitting in a train car cabin with a girl clearly being East Asian. I wasn't trying to be rude so I started with saying "I'm sorry if this is a rude question to ask but where are you from?" We talked a bit about how annoying traveling by train in my country (where this happened) is compared to hers (she was Japanese). I hope it wasn't rude, I was just curious. I usually am curious about this without any reason other than liking to know (non-white people are few where I live other than roma people) and maybe asking about their country of origin.
I think the rudest questions said to me were about my gender. I'm a guy. My grandfather asking me and really trying to be polite: So does this mean you're... gay or something? (Sounded less rude in my language) This was just after I first dyed my hair purple.
Don't you want to cut your hair so it's less purple? - My grandma every month. After the question she always jokes about cutting it in my sleep and I absolutely hate it.
Who the f*ck would dress like this? - Random guys on a party in the mens restroom after seeing me dressed as a girl. I froze a bit, laughed from the cringe, politely told them some guys prefer a more feminine look, example *pointing to myself*. Then as the shock/cringe wore off I got angry and wanted to punch them. Right after the guys went out of the restroom the security got in after me to tell me this isn't the womens restroom and I told them I know and the same WTF look froze to their face as the guys had. This was at a party building where all kinds of shit happened over the years because of corrupt security from drug use, drugging of women, nudity sometimes but they haven't seen a guy in a skirt with long, purple hair and a bit of make-up.
EDIT: by long hair I mean 8-12 inches from the top of my head, so barely over shoulder length
Oh I have a story for this - I'm mixed race. I'm racially ambiguous so people ask about my parents races without asking more about them. One time as a kid in an after school class one of the adult volunteers was talking to me. The only thing she knew about my parents was that my mother was white and my father was black, she had absolutely no other information on either of them, hadn't asked, and had never met them. She remarked that I was super smart and asked "do you get that from your mom?" (for the record, my father graduated with honors with a law degree, not that I should have to prove a black man's intelligence blech) Same person also remarked that I was a troublemaker and asserted confidently I must get that from my dad. Again, she'd never met him and knew nothing about him besides his race.
16:30 as someone who is actually autistic, it’s not some much that I don’t like people asking it in joking sense, it’s when it’s implied that it makes one inferior that aches me. We’re just different, not better not worse, just different
I'm a redheaded woman. I can't tell you how many guys asked me if the carpet matched the drapes.
I'd ask them if their carpets matched the drapes and if they said yes or got upset/embarrassed, then they have their answer, or point out that it's not so nice being on the receiving end of that question.
Ditto!!!
In reference to story 19: "What breed of tribe are you?"
*What?*
Now for a story of my own from my middle school days. I don't know if I would call this insensitive or rude, per se, but it was asked frequently enough to be very annoying. One of the questions that was asked constantly when I was in middle school, mostly when I was in 7th Grade and heavily by other girls, was "Who do you like?" No context, no hello, just straight up ask that question. Now, I realize that might have been them trying to bond or being immature, and it might not be fair to hold that against them, but crushes and liking people was a VERY sore subject for me back then, and it was the last thing I wanted to talk about (Not that they could have known that, since I never talked about it). What really bothered me was how pushy they were about it; I'd try to play it off by saying "No one in particular", only to get a "Come on! Everyone likes someone!" from them. What I was thinking was "None of your f&@!ing business". Or a very sarcastic " *Your dad* ".
Also related to story 19 and 20: I got similar questions as a kid Due to being the only biracial kid at my grade school. Later found out that school was SUPER anti interracial marriage.
Ahh I have many stories to this
One when I was working as a front end supervisor at a chain store. I was two men come in from a shady white van. One man did not speak English well, and went to one of my female coworkers harassing her making her uncomfortable. I went to intervene and the dude straight up looked me up and down slowly (mind you I'm a 4"11 babyface female) and says "you have nice child baring hips. You look for husband?" I was shocked and clearly said "nope! I'm a lesbian!" Than he makes this comment back "ahh! I like women to."
"So, when were you and your wife last intimate?"
Do you know how hard it is to answer INS interviews like that without ending with, "How about you?"
My top two I was asked are
"Do you know where you live?" I was 18 at the time. And "are you out trick or treating?" To clarify, I was not in costume, and it was not Halloween.
I was at the gynecologist for my annual peek-and-poke exam (I'm in my 40's and have had lots of these done), and after some rather uncomfortable poking and prodding he popped his head up and with a Draco Malfoy-esque sneer asked, "Do you even HAVE a cervix?" The two nurses in the room looked appalled by his blunt question. I was stunned for a moment before getting irritated by his demeanor and replying "Yes, I do..." Before I can question his qualifications for doing the procedure he was attempting he interrupted me to ask, "Well did you bring it with you today, because it's not here." At that point one of the nurses scooted out of the room and the other was looking like she just watched a kitten explode. "We're done here. I'm out" and pulled my feet out of the stirrups and scooted back on the table, pulling the drape over myself. I got a phone call the next day from that practice informing me that that doctor was no longer practicing at that clinic. Hopefully getting fired shocked some decency into him.
A bunch of these stories remind me of whenever i talk to someone for the first time,. No matter what, without fail, I get asked "where are you from?", Granted this isn't an insensitive question due to having a thick accent but it's gotten to the point where I have a rehearsed reply, despite the fact that I was born, raised and never left the country.
We are childfree and once came across a sale's person that had built his entire pitch around people having children. I was looking for a tablet and checking out shops that sold them. This was when the first tablet that you could spill water out had just come out. It was expensive but he saw a couple in their 30's, and he figured this would be an easy pitch to us and the children he had created in his mind. He even had a glass of water in his hand and started the pitch by pouring it over the tablet.
Him: So when your children spill water on it, it won't break.
Me: We don't have children.
Him: But you have people coming over with children.
Me: No.
Him: (not able to understand some people don't have children in their lives) Why not? Are you weird or something?
He didn't get the sale. We went to another shop and bought a cheaper tablet that you couldn't spill water on but who cares? I dropped it by accident only three months later and shattered it. Good thing I only paid 800 Danish Kroner and not 5000 Danish Kroner for it. The waterproof one was 5000. I would never pay that for a tablet or a phone, not even by today's standards.
For the lady with a "masculine" name - I guess some (not all) people who ask that stupid question want to shame her parents for "wanting a boy". And not realise that if that's their intention they should be asking her parents and not her. I got that A LOT as a kid for being an only child. Countless adults asked me why am I an only child and wouldn't it be better if I had sibiligs as if I could do anything about it 😬 those questions only brought pain and reminded me how lonely I was. Adults wtf. Get your sh*t together.
At a hotel pool: “Are you old enough to be responsible for your little sister?” She was my step daughter. I was 30.
Same hotel, when I forgot my key card for the elevator and asked the receptionist if they could help: “What room are you in? We can call your parents for you.”
I look young for my age but not THAT young. Maybe the stress of being closer to Russia ages people prematurely and the middle-aged receptionist was actually 22 🤷🏼♀️
(Edit: This was in eastern Europe).
This didn't involve me, but it is kind of a family story.
When my sister was very little, She and my Mom were shopping. And, at one moment, a big lady walked by them, and my Sister said, without whispering, "Wow! Why is she so fat?" And my Mom just squirmed, cause what are you supposed to do? She couldn't scold her, cause she wasn't being mean. Or apologize to the lady, cause that would just make it worse. We all collectively cringe to this day. Children can be brutal, because they don't even realize it.
This one girl back in High school was pretty much up my butt. She kept asking me "Are you gay? I've never seen you with a girl". "So,are you gay or not?". For the record,Im straight. I kept telling her "Im not gay" and she kept saying "Prove it". Karma got her in a big way. Junior year,the whole school was in the main gym. My school had 3 gyms. She was in the bleachers,I was around the basketball hoop. A fight broke out between that girl and some guy. Her wig came flying off. I witnessed it. I went from 😦😧😁😆🤣😂. Karma. After that,she never messed with me again. If she did,you all can bet your dinners I will bring up the wig getting ripped off thing.
Well I'm a male goth and I keep getting nasty looks from people. Like I'm some kind of ungodly creature.. it use to bother me but now I just I don't care about how they look at me. Also people like to just invade my personal space and touch my Chockers, bracelet's, leather jacket and jewelry. It really pisses me off when they just randomly touch my things. Like I don't know who you are bruh.
I had people all my life ask me how I broke my nose or how many times have I broken it. Up until I was 50, my nose had never been broken. I had a bad fall and broke multiple bones in my face, including my nose and had to have plastic surgery to repair the damage but my nose still looks the same. No one has asked me if I have broken my nose since I actually broke it.
People used to ask me all the time (before we started our family) if my wife can have sex. I was like "ya i mean what you think because she is in a wheelchair shes like a barbie down there?" That usually gets people to shut up 🤣
Story 30 - I'm autistic myself. Almost never get asked that. Which yeah, goes to show that you're right, it's NEVER asked in a legitimate way
Story 24 - If I have money to spare and I get asked by a beggar for money or food, I usually have them follow me a bit away - up to three blocks - to a place to eat. It lets them get away from store owners who may be about to call the police for loitering and it filters out ones who are doing it as a scam rather than out of a need
I'm a bit of a bigger girl, and most of my fat gets stored in my stomach, so a lot of people assume I'm pregnant. Usually it's fine, and I've even taken to calling it my "imitation pregnancy belly", but I had this one butthole at work who took it way too far. This happened a few years ago, so the exact convo is fuzzy, but basically I had a customer at work come up to me and ask me about my pregnancy. I explained to him that I was just chunky, and he wouldn't believe me. Don't remember how it came up, but I mentioned that my at the time roommate was male, and the guy kept going off and asking questions about us being a couple and him being the father. I tried to explain to him that we were platonic, and that I'd never bee interested in my roommate that way (I'm Aro, but wasn't out yet), and he kept going on about how a woman and a man can't live under the same roof without it being physical, and that we were going against God. Jokes on him though, because now I live with my gay best friend's NBTF partner, and we're going to be moving in with him next year. I'm sure the guy really wouldn't like that.
I have cerebral palsy, use a wheelchair full time, and the questions. Oh, the questions. We're not talking base-level "can you walk" stuff, but more along the lines of "can you have sex?" and other very, very _personal_ inquiries.
(FTR, yes, disabled people have all the same feelings and urges and what have you, and do, in fact, _fuck._)
I was in line at Walmart (by the way this is in Canada where we can barley own guns for hunting) and I was waiting for one of those self checkout things to get a snack before work. I was in my camo jacket and cowboy hat and I am really tall so I do kinda look intimidating. But she starts scanning faster and keeps looking at me concerned. She kept looking around my waist and I think it was because she thought I had a gun because she basically ran out of the store with her groceries and daughter. The crazy thing is that I always try to be very sweet and right before I asked a girl carrying a lot of things like dog food if she needed help. Makes me sad that even if I try to be nice sometimes people will still be scared of you. :( (maybe she was looking at something else I’m not great at reading people but I still think she was worried)
When I was maybe 5 or 6, I asked my great uncle (Vietnam vet) if he killed someone. Many years later, I realized how insensitive that question was, and how bad it really is to ask someone that.
A woman I know asked me if my work makes me lonely. I have to spend a lot of time working alone, but in sum my work brings me into contact with very diverse and likeable people. A pox on people who gaslight you about your work.
I worked in a butcher shop, since I was 18 years old. Yes, I am female, the owner was so impressed they got me certified. I was one in three females in my state that is or was certified at the time. I had a lot of older ladies come up and ask " Is there a butcher here?" They would ask .
" I'm a butcher, may I help you?"
" Oh can I talk to a male butcher??!"
It used to make me so mad. Just because I don't have something between my legs , doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. Matter of fact I had one of them last night. " I started telling them. The men would just laugh.
You wouldn't look at a male nurse who might save your life and say may I have a female nurse.
When we are in these positions we are in it because we know what we are doing. Rather we are male or female.
Back in highschool, my mom use to be friends with one of my friend’s mom (keep in mind I didn’t really hang out with her a lot). One day my mom went on a walk with her and that person had the audacity to suggest to my mother that I and other friends should be tested for autism because of what she considered to be “unusual interests.” I was a major history nerd at the time mind you! Of course my mother is an Art therapist and she thought it was odd the person said that about me.
Four months ago I was trying to get ahold of my mom all day. She has medial issues,was babysitting my puppy and I was just checking on her. I tried all day and around 2 I finally got a text from my nephew and then called my sister only to find out my mother had passed away. I ran into the office and told the managment team at the store I work at that my mother had passed away. Four of my managers ran up and started hugging me and just trying to comfort me. One manager,who seems to have the worst timing and says the most offensive things looked at me and asked if my sister was pranking me! Even the managers who were comforting me,One who bent down and tied my shoe when he noticed it was untied,looked at her and asked if she was crazy! I asked her if she was f'n nuts! I immediately apologized but still. I couldn't believe she said that. Two managers asked her how she could say such a horrible thing. At least she got my stuff for me but when I got back she never said anything about it other then to defend my dad when he was being mean to me and to ask me why I wasn't working so hard. Since I got back,Two weeks after my mother passed,I might add.,I did 44 rewards cards,41credit apps,In July,and got the employee of the month. (I've started snapping at her because at least that way it seems to back her down.)
I was desperate for friends growing up. So desperate I made friends with girls who openly mocked me (called me ugly, short, too skinny, annoying, clingy, and nerdy). I didn't care, I finally had friends. In high school the 'bad' girls ending up liking me (they were a grade ahead). They thought I was funny and found my nerdiness to be adorable, even though they had no idea what I was talking about). I stopped hanging out with the mean girls and hung out with the 'bad' ones. Yeah, they smoked both cigarettes and other stuff, but never once tried to get me to try it. They asked once I said no and they never asked again. One day, after hanging out with them I was home and my mom looked at me and asked "Where are your other friends I liked them more". She knew the other group made fun of me. They even did it at my house in front of her. I told her I stopped hanging out with them reminding her why (I got into some dark thoughts when I was around them). Her response "I liked them more. Why should you stop hanging out with them because they are a little mean? That is what friends do". Her wish half came true. The leader of the bad girls moved away and so did another. The other two got closer and pushed me out worried a slightly younger nice girl would ruin their reputation. The other half of that wish didn't happen though. I refused to hang with the other girls and they wanted nothing to do with me. So, I was alone for the last two and a half years of school. Those girls apologized the last day of school (but for two of them thinking they were not too bad to me). It made me realize it wasn't in my head and they were purposely being mean and making fun of me.
Story 25 at 14:44. That just sounds like a normal sibling rivalry. Granted it’s wrong for her to act like that but that’s common for sisters. That’s how it was for me and my sister. When it comes to siblings, parents tend to make their kids share everything, especially if you’re close in age. It make you feel like people think you are exactly the same. Having friends in grade school was finally having something you don’t have to share. You’re not just so and sos sibling, you’re your own person. That changes when the sibling comes around. But trust me if your sibling’s friend ever was mean to you, your sibling will attack them in your defense.
5:00 I can understand being worried... but if youre just worried, theres probably a better way to get that across.
Assuming thats even something thats okay for people to care about, hell if i know, ive had to learn social skills the hard way, and thus its an incomplete list still.
Story 24 - thats why i dont give money away, but if you ask for a meal i will do what i can to help.
for context: I am blind and I’ve had multiple jobs. The universal question I’ve gotten asked at every job was “are you the owners daughter?” When I respond no, the inquirer usually says something like “oh! That’s amazing! I would’ve thought…” and stops midsentence. Because clearly, a person with a disability can’t have a job unless they’re related to the owner of the company. Another one that I only got ones was “were your parents really sad when they found out you were blind?”. Humans, you gotta love ‘em.
I once explained to a customer that I have a very mild form of cerebral palsy. Her immediate response? "If that's true, why aren't you in a wheelchair and why can you talk?"
"I'm an illegal dwarf." I'm using that the next time I'm asked about my size.
I went to a college for kids who have autism and disabilities like that. I'm a film buff so nearly every night while I was there I watched a DVD.
One Sunday night I watched The Sound of Music before going to bed. The next day, the older kids asked us what we did over the weekend. I said I watched The Sound of Music the night before, and one of the kids instantly responded: "Are you secretly gay?"
It was dead silent, and I gave him a look of annoyance. I was tempted to respond: "Why, were you interested?" but didn't say anything.
He finally just said that he was kidding and I just let it go and we moved on.
Dude i love your nails they go so well with your shirt 10/10
lol! You need the "don't stick" and hit people with it
Ahh yes. High school. There was this one friend who always joked around and was a pretty big guy. He was a year or 2 older than me and even had the same name as me. Anyways he was feeling like he wanted to mess with someone that day. That just happened to be me. Anyways he asked me "are you going to shoot up the school?" Ironically he had like 3 assault rifles in his house and I didn't even own a single bb gun. What triggered him to probably ask that question was the fact I always wore a trenchcoat to school. I know it's a bad look but I'm most comfortable covered up. I just like the style of it. I might put more details later on. Let's just say the aftermath of this conversation resulted in me and him suspended till the end of the week. (2 days at the time) missed out on a lot during that period...😢
Why did you get suspended?
@@richardwright5594 made a mistake of me being sarcastic
Can't say which is worse. The doc who kept asking how old I was because I was crying while the nurse tried multiple times to get an IV in me. My veins suck. I was 22 btw. Also I was having a shunt malfunction.
Or the old man who made a comment or asked about my outfit, I can't remember which in church. While I don't remember exactly what he said I remember it was a veiled attempt to tell me my outfit(shorts & tank top. No cleavage) was inappropriate for church. It was July and in the 90s. Also I dehydrate easily. He was in dress pants, a button up shirt, possibly a tank underneath and a jacket.
Not a question, but a statement.
I was in a car with three other dudes, going home after our shifts at the haunted house. We were all talking about something, maybe something about the differences in people, because what the guy in the passenger seat said about me stuck with me to this day.
He was trying to explain why he liked me, but what he said was “you’re cool, you’re not like… a black guy, you know?”
I didn’t know. I asked him what he meant.
“You know, there’s a difference between normal people and n words.” Hard R.
Needless to say, we never drove home together after that. But what gets to me is that people really justify this line of thought, simply to retain their own biases while acting as though they’re in the right. I don’t know how he expected me to react, but as the only black guy in that car, I felt very isolated. And to this day, I still wonder if the people around me only see me as “one of the good ones” or the “other.”
To end that story, I did argue him down, he did apologize, but I doubt he really changed his mind. I lost another friendship with someone else in that car for a similar reason.
I went on a wim when i was yonger and asked a teacher is she was pregnant, she told me she was and asked how i came to that conclusion. I just looked at her and said usually you dont eat in class and dont tend to hold your belly for what i had noticed. She just laughand told me to be careful with being that blunt. She was an amazing math teacher. If i could i would honestly thank her for showing me its ok to stand up for myself even at school.
Keep in mind i was only in the 7th grade don't remember exactly what point of the year it was to tell you my exact age
Real glad i was correct bc man that would have been mean
Edit was i hit the send button by accident lol fat thumb
"Why is your voice so high ?" I'm a man, and I got this question all my life. Sure my voice is pretty high and a bit weird but yeah sure. It's just kids who ask that so I never bother... Howerver, once I was in a runion for a scoutism project and after, that nice woman I knew for a few years told me that she discussed about that with some friends of her who are doctors which work on that kind of stuff, and that if needed I could get it fixed. She meant no harm but I was a bit surprised since it has been a very long time since anyone had made any reference to that but for now, I'm fine with it...
I work in a call center Philippines and we handle US clients, assisting them with their retirement plans. The rudest question I received was "Do you know you are taking jobs away from us?" (This is from someone who was laid off from his job after just months
I clicked faster then my dad leaveing me
Lucky for u mainly facts looks enough dad for all of us
Haha
"You're a white male. Your perfect little life was handed to you. Get over it". This was told to me by a fellow coworker, an older Caucasian female who knew nothing about me. I was going to mention that she knew nothing about the personal struggles, financial hardships, trauma and challenges that I've faced in my personal life, which have nothing to do with race or gender, but instead, I simply asked her to follow me. I took her to our Director's office, (he was a very successful African American man, and a person of great moral character) and asked her to repeat herself to him. As she began tripping over her words, I calmly informed her that my life was far from perfect, and though I couldn't relate to hardships I haven't experienced, she had no idea what my story was either, regardless of race. The Director informed her that skin color had nothing to do with the position I was in for our company, and it wasn't a factor of his success either. There is certainly societal bias against different groups based off of gender, race, and sexuality, but these factors are not evidence of the kind of life we lead, moral character, empathy or individuality. She later apologized for the remark, and I didn't hold it against her at all. We all have our own stories and lives to lead. Don't let anyone forcibly categorize you by anything but your actions and who you choose to be.
...Oh. When I was cashiering, I once had a customer ask me when I was due. I wasn't and still am not pregnant. Then, because she had a big order, I had to politely sit through her trying to awkwardly explain herself and make excuses.
Also had a family member ask if I was sure I wanted to be tested for autism because she was worried if I got a diagnosis, I'd start acting more autistic.
I am genderfluid, and I don’t present any specific way (I somehow look like a girl and yet, at the same time, a boy.) I was once asked by my superchristian neighbors, “Yeah, but, like, do you have a P or a V?” To be fair, I was 13, and these kids were younger than me, but not by much. I deflected their questions so they never found out. Also, earlier that year, a person my dad works with asked if I had been abused as a child. For reference, I’m lesbian and this man believed that you only “turn gay” as an act of defiance after being abused. This was a man in his thirties, maybe forties.
After my divorce didn’t date much because I didn’t want my kids to deal with a stepfather, etc. I had an acquaintance ask if I was actually a lesbian. This guy was a functioning alcoholic and often inappropriate. I said no but I’m switching camps. This shut him up. He also said my son must be the milkman’s since he looked nothing like my ex. I finally said there aren’t any milkman, it’s the UPS guy get it straight. Note: there was never any question he’s my ex’s son. I just figure if people are going to gossip I might as well make it good. 😂 And people have no responses to these things.
Mine is from a math lecturer in my 2nd year of college. I was at the college in my 3rd year to do my final year project presentation. He asked me y am I still here
no.24 this kinda happened to me. I said I was sorry I didnt have cash but offered a few smokes. Dude got rude with me and started getting aggressive . He got a biscuit after that.
In NYS, you can qualify for benefits if you’re 4’9” and under.
You also have to legally use an adult car seat to drive at that height, too.
Thank god I’m 4’10”
Story 5 reminds me of when I went to my father's friends daughter's high school graduate party and her little cousin walked up to me and asked "Why do you grow your hair long?" (I'm a guy and my hair goes down to the middle of my back) and I just said "I dunno I just like it when it's long." And this 13 year old kid with a blond early youtuber era emo cut just goes "...It looks stupid." Now if I was a responsible adult I would have said something like "Hey, that's not nice." But instead I just said without thinking "Not as stupid as yours." The kid got upset and walked away and I was like "shiiiit i just told the party hosts nephew he looks stupid." Found out later the kid says mean stuff like that to people all the time and his dad and uncle thought it was fucking hilarious when the kid told them what I said lol.
Can she stand up? Same lady same question every damn time being in a wheelchair doesn't always mean that you're not able to walk I just wanted to get on a ride dammit!
Story 45, what's the obesity and hunger/malnourishment rates in Puerto Rico? This may be a case where someone with first world problems visits and a country where being overweight is a very alien concept to the local residents.
I too got the question asked by my own mother: "Don't u have a gf, are you gay?"
My reply : No, I can't financially support myself, how am I going to even afford simple gifts for her? God, I dnt dislike gay people, they r cool. But God does it suck sometimes to be accused of something u are not
I am Russian Korean and I am frankly tired of everyone asking me where I am from. I tell them "from Yasenevo" (a district in Moscow). They then ask me if I am from North or South Korea. I have to explain that my ancestors were citizens of the Japanese Empire and were relocated to the USSR after the Sakhalin peninsula was taken over by the red army. Thus that was more than a decade before the Korean War and thus before the concept of north or south koreas. But the Sakhalin Koreans originally hailed from the southern part of the Korean Peninsula, that's as close an answer as I can muster.
I was 13 weeks pregnant and found out i had a missed miscarriage. I was scheduled to have a D&C Monday morning, Sunday the night before, my friend called as we talked, i told her i lost my baby and was set to have the procedure, her next words pissed me off and hurt at the same time “so are you going to try again”
Like shit, im still carrying my dead baby and still grieving and she thought that was the time to ask? Seriously?
I am really thin, have been for years. It only got worse around high school because I would get stressed out about tests and lose my appetite.
One spring vacation I was really stressed out over the exam period that was to come afterwards, and came back to school slightly thinner. My English teacher saw me, and the conversation went like this:
Her: you lost some weight
Me: yes, I did
Her: was it on purpose?
I've always been content with how I look and my weight, but her comment and what it implied made me horribly self conscious about it.
Said to a friend: "I like black people". He responded, "yeah, me too!" He was from Tonga.
A kid at school asked me how I could stand looking at my dad. (He had an eye removed due to cancer.)
I could not comprehend the kid's question. My dad looks like a pirate, what's your piont?
You look like you're in great shape Mr Facts!
I worked in a baby shop and even then I never assumed anyone was pregnant unless they told me.
Some people had given birth not long before, some where overweight
Some women didn't show. It's not my place to ask or assume
I lived briefly in a small town in Illinois. I was in the small grocery there shopping. I hear an old man saying very loudly “where’s the Jew salt? I’m looking for the Jew salt”. I laughed when I realized he was looking for kosher salt.
I've been mistaken for a boy over VC and mistaken for my mom over the phone, even when I was a teen. Despite being bio-female, I have a weirdly deep voice.
Similar has happened to me. Then they say I should go into voice acting.
I have the opposite problem. Especially on the phone. Despite being bio-male, I sound like a female over VC/on the phone. It doesn't help that me and my mom share the same face. 😅
When I was a kid I moved to a new town so I went to a new elementary school where I didn't know anyone. So the teachers tried to help my by pretty much arranging me and some other kid who also had no friends to be buddies. Sounds nice except one big problem, I didn't have any friends because I was new wheras he didn't have any friends because he was a complete asshole to everyone he ever met. So then everyone assumed I was like him and I got bullied and ignored by pretty much everyone in the entire school including some of the teachers. I was also unofficially diagnosed with autism and put in a learning disability thing with actually disabled kids even though I don't have actually have it, I was just kind of an outcast who liked different very things from other most other kids. So cut to one day when we are in our homeroom class waiting for our bus to be called so we can go home and I'm talking to asshole kid because he was pretty much my only friend and he says this
"Hey dude can I ask you something?"
"Uhhh yeah sure what's up?"
"How come more people like you than me even though you're retarded?"
And without missing a beat our teacher just looks at him and goes
"Probably because he doesn't say things like that."
I know now that I never had a disability and even if I did that isn't a bad thing, but man that really stung for awhile hearing your only friend call you retarded unironiclally. I stopped talking to him shortly after that and later got some real friends and kind of made a name for myself in middle and high-school. I've met some pretty shitty people and have been called some really nasty things in my life but I don't think I will ever forget that. Easily top 5 most depressed moments I have ever felt in my whole life.
TLDR: "How come more people like you than me even though you are retarded?"
I served as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and was sent to Utah of all places. Some crabby old lady: "let me see your wrists.. yeah, I thought so. Skinny wrists! There's so much homosexuality in Utah. Mormons aren't a religion, they're a race!"
Lady, I'm not even from Utah. I grew up on a farm in the Midwest. But yeah, I happen to be part of the fastest-growing "race" in world. Thousands of people are being added to my race every year.
I was working at wendy's, black lady came in ordered 10 piece nuggets. She goes and sits down in the back left corner. Old white couple comes in, after they order and are waiting for their food, the black lady walks up and asks for extra sauce which I give her and walks. The white old couple watches her walk back to her seat and they turn to me and ask "where should we sit?" I was confused by the question and told them anywhere. After a minute I connected the dots lol
I once had an absolutely obnoxious customer ask, upon learning that I am Jewish, "I heard all Jews are rich. Are you rich?"
Ma'am, if I was rich, would I be wearing a $12 dress I got from Marshalls, working in a low-income area?
No. I am not rich. Not all Jews are rich. Most of us are struggling to even hit lower middle class, just like everyone else in this Gdforsaken country.
Rude depends on interpretation. I was frequently asked if I knew I looked like Linda Blair. Now Linda Blair is a beautiful woman and I didn't mind the comparison. Mentally I asked myself is this before or after her head spun around and she spit pea soup.😂
The race question in the 2nd story. When speaking of someone about anything, my grandma, born in 1908 would ask if the person was black or white. We'd ask why did it matter and she'd shrug and sa I don’t know. We live in a predominantly black neighborhood and she got along great with our neighbors. I think she was just mentally trying to paint a picture. But 1908? Yeah, I don't think she was "politically correct ".
The teacher told me that I'm getting more plump in the face and arms by the way I'm underweight this could have been a compliment but the way he said it made me feel bad
I have a good one! This does need a bit of background first though, earlier that day I had just confessed my love to my boyfriend(I shall call them Sam) and also learned through him telling me that he had D.I.D, then while i was on break at work that day, i asked one of my coworkers (I'll call them Lillie) if they knew sam, my sister thought lillie went to this thing we do and I knew Sam would know them if Lillie did. As soon as I ask the question the way Lillie's face changes gives me a bad feeling and Lillie deadnames Sam (saying "ohh you know"[deadname]) then after me trying to back out of the conversation she says "you know they are faking having d.i.d" i put up my hand and walk away. But the worst part didn't occur to me for a week, Lillie had no way of knowing I knew Sam had d.i.d and might have outed him to me, luckily me and sam became enby and boyfriends that day so I knew about D.i.d but still
Also somewhat unrelated she started"thinking I hated her" which I had tried to be nothing but nice after that incident because I get a lot of anxiety at work, and she interrogated me with questions such as, do i hate her (it was her fourth time asking that) do I think shes transphobic, and do i think shes a n*zi?!
She has also now been fired, unrelated to that incident but pretty sure it was because she found out she was going to have to work with me for 4 hours(she was avoiding me since the interrogation) and threw a fit
As someone on the spectrum (Asperger's), I used to get asked a lot of questions that were mildly to majorly insulting. Anything from "do you understand what I'm saying?" in a really slow and patronizing tone (If I don't I will let you know, stop acting like I don't speak English.) All the way to things like "so you're basically retarded?" when trying to explain my condition. The questions have gotten sparser in the decades since my diagnosis, thanks to my ability to adapt, and most people don't know I'm autistic anymore. And, when someone either figures it out or (more likely) I tell them, I still occasionally get the classic "you have AUTISM?! You don't seem retarded to me!!!"
Worst thingS ever told/asked:
-Are you going to look for the boy? (I had 2 AFAB kids.)
-Are you sure are you supporting 'her'? It may be just a face. You are the adult and should know better. (I have a trans son. And yes, I am supporting HIM and will always do. He is the happiest he has been in years since he started hormone therapy)
I love his mustache
"How can you be Hispanic and Jewish?"
Me, a Sephardic Jew: "How can you be an adult AND stupid?"
"does your jaw hurt [from talking a lot]", like I'm sorry I have add and I'm a friendly person
"Oh you must've smoked during pregnancy" I'd have been taken to jail and the one saying that would've been on the ground in a broken mess. How the hell do people think that's something okay to say???
Also, my dad's mom somewhat recently pulled me into another room while she was visiting my Dad and grandma. She had a "how dare you" tone and asked if there was something I wanted to share that I hadn't already told her. When I said "no, why?" She got a look, and while she said this next part she paused and looked around before finishing her sentence: "Are you....pregnant???"
I've been gaining weight lately, much of it from my birth control that can't be changed till at least October. I kept thinking about that comment for days after and feeling like sh*t each time. At most I've weighed about 140 lbs or so. Even if it was less, why she felt that was okay to do is beyond me.
I use a wheelchair, but I don't get the upfront sexual questions; I wonder if me being female makes a difference. I think people either assume I'm asexual, or they feel less comfortable asking a woman.
Im nof used to the mainly facts guys face i never saw him before this mans looks a little like a firefighter from new york staten island
As for the giving money to beggars, I follow my gut as to what kind of person I give cash to. I carry $10 bills folded up slim so I can hand it to someone without embarrassing them or looking like a condescending jerk. I've been right most of the time. There are a lot of decent people who are homeless. And ten bucks gets you a hamburger.
“What kind of Mexican are you? Mexicans don’t have freckles or curly hair” I’m not Mexican. I’m Argentine & Nicaraguan. There are other nationalities in the Latin community; I know it’s quite the discovery
My friend in class asked me once if I drank beer
9:14 i get that sometimes,its awful
“How big are your boobs ..like 34 dd? E maybe?” While I was waitressing throughout college & nursing school. I wouldnt doubt I won’t be asked this in my new profession as a nurse
"You almost died from Celiac disease? So, why didn't you let it kill you?" -_- That was someone from CHURCH btw. 16 was a fun age.