What Happened To Politeness?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 พ.ค. 2023
- When we decide as a culture that trowing polite society out the window is the best way to be real because manners are pretentious, we throw the very idea of civilization out the window along with it. Oh, and people just being who they really are in all situations has never been good for anything. Just FYI.
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My most recent experience with a young person was a little different. I went out for my evening walk, and was heavy breathing and leaning on something to catch my breath. My health isn't great, so this happens a lot. A passing 12-year-old on a bike stopped and asked if I was OK. I was impressed and touched.
Agreed !
I wonder if this is location based. Maybe Philadelphia kids are ruder than elsewhere.
@@kazriko Well it is I guess. I'm living in a city in The Netherlands, the youth isn't as polite as in the village 6 km from here. I'd like to go fishing there and a boy, maybe 10 or 11 years old asked me: "Hey?! Did you catch something?" I didn't. He said: "By the end of noon you have to go over there, under that tree. That's where you can catch fish". We had a chat and he left on his bicycle. Beyond the fact that he was right about that, in the city they are screaming about animal abuse, starring at their phones all day. The children in the village are just living. Fishing, cycling, helping their parents at the farm. They DO have a life already!
yet if the roles were reversed and you touched a 12 year old they'd call the police.
They hadn't been taught to be an asshole by their phone yet.
Reality shows made it acceptable to be rude and crude in public. I don’t watch them, but I’ve seen snippets of a couple. They glorify bad behavior.
+
If the shoe were on the other foot, would they still be abusive anyway ?
TV is poison. People are behavior copying machines.
i dont own a TV. I'm better than that. but recently i hear about 'reality shows' a lot. i thought they were documentaries. apparently not.
It’s funny how they are called “reality shows” when they are the complete opposite!
I've noticed that obnoxious people are more likely to say the most hateful thing they can think of to a total stranger if they have an audience. One on one, with nobody to impress, the compulsion to bully others is weaker. Large groups of immature strangers can be downright dangerous.
All we can do is educate the new generation, they are the ones that (if we are lucky ) will take care of us
Pack Animals
yep, arseholes are arseholes irrespective of age.
Yes, and these kind of people don't belong to any specific generation. However, things have really changed over time, so there is more of it now.
Bad boys running wild, if you don't play along with their games
Bad boys running wild, and you better get out of their way!
- Scorpions
What happened to Politeness? The same thing that happened to critical thinking unfortunately.
We GenXers were lucky to grow up without social networks and people filming us being fools and drunk. I'm glad I grew up in the 80's (in France).
It’s an ugly world we are entering!
I was just in New York and I’m from Australia. I don’t think it’s age, I think it’s how you’re brought up. People can be rude at all ages, and pleasant and courteous at all ages. I found that being in one of the worlds biggest cities, age wasn’t the defining factor on manners.
You make the mistake of thinking "age" and how one was brought up are mutually exclusive. As I mention above, Gen-Z'ers, for the most part were brought up being told the world owes them anything and everything they want, without them having to do anything in return. This all started in the 90's, where keeping score during little league games was considered "harmful" and every kid got a trophy regardless of performance.
Great commentary Fran. Thanks for sharing. 👍😎👍
The north of the US is the worst, but in general this is why all of the US is a sucky place to live now.. the way people drive.. they'll screw you over at work too. Idiots suffering for no reason other than their de-evolution to jerkiness.
Someone acting rude in NYC? Really!!?? But New Yorkers have always been known far and wide for their impeccable manners… Oh Lord, what is this world coming to? 😮🤯🫠
@@wallyman292 for all the people who talk about this “no winner/losers” philosophy being used in otherwise competitive sports, I’ve never once heard of this happening IRL, even though I grew up in the 90s/early 00’s. Also, if you’ve ever actually received a participation trophy, you’d know that most kids above the age of 5 know just as well as you do how meaningless they are, once you see that everyone else got that “award”, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that it doesn’t make you special.
I'm a millennial in my 30s and I try to be nice and polite. I would never call anyone a bitch or something else degrading. I'm really lucky I grew up with very diverse friends so I got to see their perspective at a young age and helped with empathy.
Politeness was lost when no one could be bothered to look up from their smartphone to give a stranger a smile. Just to remind them that we are all in it together.
Well said!!!!!!!
Definitely caused by smartphones!
For the record... I'm 27 and see this in my own generation. Manners have left the building.
@@BennieWilll I see more considerate young people than people my age (50) or older.
I just start running toward sidewalk-blockers shouting either "Make a hole!" or "Coming through!". I'm 66, and it works every time. Then I immediately stop running one step past them.
And some of us, myself included am guilty of being rude to older people when I was younger, now that I'm the older person I get treated rudely by some of the younger people, almost like I'm ignorant, but am just trying to live my life like everyone else, even when I get a ride customer at work, I stay calm and focused, and try to give that customer the best possible service I can
I was among the last draftees during the Vietnam war. I'm from the sticks. One of my dads had rage problems, and when my Mom managed to divorce him, she then married an alcoholic. I was the scapegoat. I started running away at 13. By 15 I had perfected "running away" and never went back. Found love at 21, Married 18 hours later. Cancer took her from me after 42 years I still work at music,...alone. My opinion....Our Country has lost its empathy generally. The 'Golden Rule' is a distant concept which gets more distant by the day. I think voices like yours, are the only hope for mankind now. I salute you! Our world's only chance is from those who speak truth with heart such as yourself!
I think you just ran into some rude folks (there are a lot around), but I regularly encounter many young people who have perfectly acceptable manners towards others...
Back in the day people didn't feel so entitled.
"Politeness is the chief sign of culture."- Baltasar Gracian
There's an element of sexism to it. What would they have said to a man?
Nobody messes with Miss Fran! Don’t let those punks get to you.❤
There are few things that strike me.
1) Events like Woodstock have self-selecting aspects about who is able to attend that aren't present for random people in a neighborhood.
2) A lot of Generation X people did similar things as young adults. I saw it up close with my younger brother (we're both late Gen X.) In a lot of ways it's a common reaction to being rather newly free of parental control.
3) I noticed a shift in my youth in which older people began to feel that "respect your elders" meant they were entitled to that respect regardless of how they treated the younger person; literally that they could be horrible and falsely accuse us of wrongdoing and that we weren't allowed to respond appropriately to that. In my youth it connected with attitudes that we were always up to no good and endless accusations of things like theft just for going into a store. That breakdown of the social contract has a long term impact, especially as we get into generations raised by the people who experienced it.
Why so few??
Hello, Fran. We're close in age. I grew up with Black Southern parents. Manners were a vital part of what we kids were expected to contribute to our environment. I was also given a certain amount of extra enrichment via etiquette classes, due to a shifting expectation of what my future might include. While a good many people might see this as restrictive, I do feel privileged in being given a wider appreciation of patience in myself and for the behavior of other people.
I believe there's a wider world afforded by politeness, via the awareness of others around us. I hope for far more of it, as we are surely lacking this. I wish you the very best.
A lot of these young people have no consideration for others.
They live in their own little world.
But I've seen worse: once I was pushing a friend in her wheelchair down the sidewalk when we came upon a whole family standing in the middle of the sidewalk, having some kind of argument.
The man, who must have been around 55 years old, was the one standing directly in our path, after us asking nicely many times, he did not move.
So we got loud and started shouting ( still being polite and saying 'please' ) and still no results.
Finally, we had to go back the way we came and I pushed her past them on the street.
All I'm saying is that while you encountered a rude and unruly young couple, they come in all ages.
I totally agree! Here where I live, the elderly often ride side-by-side down the sidewalk toward you and won't move to let people by. If l don't move off the sidewalk they would run right into me. I'm 50, and I can't believe people around 20 years older than me do this on a daily basis.
Eh, my kids are in their 20s and would never behave this way. I have loads of friends in their 20s, and they are all wonderful people. Not fair to generalize an entire generation. And to take it one further, look how OUR generation behaved at Woodstock 99.
People seem to increasingly see other people as either a means to them getting what they want, or an obstacle in their way, but not as another human being. Maybe it has something to do with people living increasinly online, where the actual physical reality around them is not their most important reality. There's also the age factor - younger people, when they notice them at all, seem to see older people as the enemy. I'm a baby boomer, and apparently I'm a mentally defective criminal because I'm preventing them from getting what they want....
@@caligari2256 Yeah, I'm really disappointed in Fran's reaction, to be honest. She's buying right into the "generational divide" narrative that has been sold to us the past few years by certain powers.
In my experience, the people you encountered inevitably meet someone far less pleasant than yourself and it all ends in tears. For them.
A polite and sociable hello from Liverpool. 🙂
Fun fact, an idiot go through a stop sign in front of my car, I brake and honk. Then he brake and insult me.
He was the culprit but didn't accept the fact I let kow him he bothred me.
I was stopped at a light, with a big yellow school bus in front of me, and a car hit my bumper from behind while we were stopped, not very hard but it shook me up a bit. When the light changed I pulled over to the side of the road, figuring I should check with the driver, make sure he or she is OK and there wasn't any damage to the other car, but the car, which had out of state plates (it's a university town, so not uncommon) took off! I only had a scuff on my bumper, and my car is a decade old and a little banged up already, so I don't really care, but still.... The responsible thing would be to check with the other driver come make sure everybody's OK, see if there's any damage sufficient to be worth repairing or perhaps reporting to the cops or the insurance company, and generally behaving like decent responsible adults.
Politeness is a rare thing these days, I think the advent of social media and smart phones has stunted all of that alot, ever since becoming a hospitality industry worker, my politeness has increased ten fold, as I realize now just how crucial it is , for instance,, the Golden rule for one, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" I learned it when I was in the fifth grade, am now 52 and I still live by it, Fran I'm so sorry that you had this experience, I totally get what your saying here, I know I don't usually leave comments on your vids, but am a regular viewer to you channel, Staysafe, Stay Blessed, and thank you for this video 👍❤
Philly's been that way for years. I lived in Ardmore from 2001, to 2010. (Heart of the Main Line) I can spot those selfish people, a mile away. Walk to the curb, and go around them, without saying a word, or giving the stink eye, is my personal policy. Reacting never helps. It probably serves to reinforce the behavior, in all actuality. Some people decide to make the world inconvenient for others, just for fun. If you feed into it, they got ya, and some start a habit of it!
Not sure you're wrong, but this makes me sad. 😕
I agree. Walking around gets you mad for 30 seconds. Getting into an insulting dialogue causes you to be grinding your teeth the rest of the day, and they win.
@@sometimesleela5947 I largely agree. The thing is, though, having to walk around them is also them winning. :-/
@@DavidLindes I don't look at it like a competition. I view it as minding my own business, and continuing on with my own life.
@@sometimesleela5947 I don't get annoyed walking around, it's just how I treat every situation, like Fran describes here. I'm 50.
I know it's wrong, but i can't help fantasizing that Fran then pulled out a large Spanner and gave them them both concussion.
No excuse for rudeness.
Pretty much how politeness was enforced decades ago.
reminded me of the old country western song "Attitude Adjustment "
Obviously there are exceptions to these generational observations, but overall, I completely agree that politeness and common courtesy have all but vanished. I know there are plenty of zoomers who are kind and compassionate, but as an old millennial, I saw the erosion of basic kindness in _my_ generation back in the early 90s, and it's only gotten worse. I've encountered this consensus that civility is phony and facetious, and while it _can_ be, civility can also be a sign that people actually _DO_ care for each other. It's not _always_ an act. Not every "nice" person is hiding behind a mask of politeness. Sometimes that person actually _is_ nice.
It often is an act. In many cases, especially back then, politeness was just a way to keep up appearances. That's what this generation rejects! Can you handle the truth if it hit your ass so hard it leaves a red mark on it or would you rather have polite lies? Besides, you're giving away your real self when you reject fakeness in favor of authenticity!!! Or would you rather there be a veneer again? If the answer to that last question is yes, why?
Bonjour Madame BLANCHE, I'm living in the most beautifull ( they say) city in the world called PARIS. What you experienced, I got it everyday in my city. This often comes from young people but I have to say that it may come from Boomers like me, this mean that Politness is no more a general human behavior !!!!!!!!!! And in this beautifull city of Paris you may see tons of pet's shits on the street and mostly owners are ......boomers !!!!!!
I am deeply sorry for your so bad experience as I see you as a very nice person, smart, pretty and certainly with a gentle behavior . This is our today's world and I agree with you in regard of the future of this world. Truly yours.
'just be cool'. Those 3 words transcend generations. The common denominator.
I think it would be "Just be chill" with the youngest generation.
I worked with a guy that was in upstate New York and went to Woodstock. My best friend had a older brother that went too. There will never be a coming together like that.
Now we have a much more closed minded section of society that has no shame, compassion, or empathy towards others.
I am 65, and except for the aches and pains and health issues that come with old age, and a body that has taken some abuse due to the physical work I've always done, I'm glad I'm old. I often tell people that I wish I was 5 or 6 years older, because I definitely would have been at the original Woodstock!
One of my core values is "Politeness counts".
Apart from the natural selection at play with their zero situational awareness, I feel sorry for their kids, I see young mums all the time, focus entirely on their smartphones, meanwhile the child sits in the pram ignored completely. A whole generation of children who wish they were phones. This won't end well.
It is not just 'kids'. A manufacturing company I know of replaced some older managers, who were very involved and 'problem solving' with younger (not not all THAT young) managers. Suddenly, it is if their departments have no managers, but they can be recognized by their cell phones always in front of their faces. Even the company I used to work for had some pretty bright people (in their early 30s probably) working there who still could not figure out that if they put their phones away while walking down the hallways to the bathroom, they would probably stop walking into the pillars all the time. And from what I heard, few people in the department I worked for ever read a book if they could avoid it, and many had poor spelling, and thought that having to write even a paragraph or two was a huge task.
I'm sorry to say but this problem existed already long long before mobile phones ever came into existence. Don't blame phones for. Blame people unfit for being parents.
"Fast food" and "junk food" had been solid parts of American life for a quarter century BEFORE Woodstock. McDonald's and Hostess Twinkies were early post WWII developments that we boomers had grown up with.
Recently subbed (last night).
I'm currently 65 years old so even pre Generation X. Whilst I'm sympathetic to your post, I do think that you have to be careful when you brand any section of society as "they". I've certainly come across self centred behaviour of the sort that you describe but I've also crossed paths with younger people who have exemplified the kind of politeness that we'd both hope to find. Like all human behaviours, they are rarely able to be ascribed exclusively and totally to any subset of society. My fear is that to attempt to do so tends to drive a wedge between said groups.
Aside from that observation, please keep up the good work
You need to up sticks and come to Scotland Fran. I'm your generation, live in Glasgow (shock, horror) and feel truly blessed every day because everyone has a smile for you- no matter the age, gender or how shitty a day they might be having.
I'd say it's about that over-confident and under-compassionate, under-competent kind of people; you get these in all generations and it's indeed a maladaptive pattern. Let's not make it the "us vs them" where "us" (the previous generations) are inherently better. Assholes are everywhere.
I grew up, earned more money, got corrupted and moved to a 'nice' neighborhood. I was stunned that people here tend to act like they are oblivious to strangers around them. A simple task like going down the aisle in the supermarket you will be blocked by someone’s cart in the middle while they are looking for something and have no idea that you are waiting for them to yield. When you make a noise loud enough for them to notice they act all put out to have to move over. I internally call them the entitled.
I don’t think it's a general thing like all the people today are all like this. I think it a product of the local culture here and similar places.
Perhaps I need to find something like “A Message to Garcia” to hand out.
Hi Fran! If you think your sidewalk incident was bad, you should see what middle and high school teachers deal with. It's totally sickening. It's not surprising that so many teachers are retiring early.
Maybe you ran into the rare rude one... or location has something to do with it.
I work near a college campus, and the vast overwhelming percentage of the people I meet are very polite. Many of the clerks at local shops are college students. Here being central Kentucky.
Polite people are very much still around.... it's been my experience the vast majority of people are polite and decent.
Kind of an example. A twenty something coworker was reading " Hardwired" by Walter Jones Williams ( a cyberpunk novel I read in the late '80s)...which led to many discussions about science fiction.
I am one of the latter baby boomers, and built my first computer ( kit form of the Timex Sinclair)...which has led to many discussions. Old school in person role playing games are very much still a thing ( like D and D)..but I do work with a group of nerds ( a good thing).
I wouldn't worry about the future. There will always be jerks, but the majority of people are decent...
I'm exactly your age. I don't think it's a generational thing.
I'm 54, and I've see this as well. I've said it for years and years. One word sums up the problems of today.
It's narcissism.
All these kids care about getting attention and wanting to be recognized as being special for no reason. Everything revolves around them and if it doesn't they get mad. They think they are owed the things, that people that have worked their whole lives for, without earning it. Sure, there are many adults that are this way, but it isn't as prevalent as it is in the younger generation. When their coddling parents are gone, they will fall apart because there won't be anyone around to enable them anymore.
So true, there's a real lack of courtesy amongst young people in the real world... they can be quite hostile. Sorry to hear that couple on the street were so rude to you... ugh. Older people make better friends, anyway - they're more knowledgeable and have more life experience to share.
Total respect for you, Fran.
I’m 22 and I can’t agree. I hear all the time about young people disrespecting and being rude to older people but I don’t see it. I work in customer service and the rudest and least patient and most impolite customers are the older ones.
@@blakekaveny I agree, but when the young are impolite it's hurtful for some reason, whereas I can always excuse old people for being rude or impatient.
@@axonis2306 Why do you old people get excuse though. Yes some times theirs situations in witch being rude is acceptable but they shouldn’t get a pass just because they’re older. In fact they should be held to a higher standard. They should be leading by example.
@@axonis2306 Like I see older people all the time complain when they have 5 people ahead of them in line when no one else is complaining.
@@blakekaveny Because being old can be very difficult.
I’m a proud boomer with a Gen X daughter. We both did well and are respectful and polite. Thanks Fran
Thanks Fran! Your wprb princeton t-shirt got me online for their ALL STAR-WARS SHOW II amazing playlist. Amazing way to end 4. here in Norway :D
Yes! Jon Solomon - a treasure!
This is why i watch and love this channel and the community of people who are engaged with it.i feel like Fran and all of yous are good people.
I’m sorry that happened! It feels awful. I have found that most people are still polite for the most part. I’m a young gen-X at 46 and I also run a gaming channel for which I have some young audience and I am actually pretty optimistic since they are mostly polite and pretty dang fun and adorable. Politeness and critical thinking are definitely in danger but not fully gone.
Next time, appeal to the dog. They're probably the one in charge of that situation anyway. 😁 I do wonder if your being in Philly is a factor here. I also wonder if this is an extension of the "don't talk to strangers" we (older millennial and all younger) were all drowned in through our formative years. It makes sense that a long-term side effect of not talking to strangers would be losing the ability to relate to them. (Edited because grammar. 🙄🤪)
Abbie Hoffman was the 'over 30' quote owner. He was 32 when he said don't trust 'em! Fran is a voice of reason! ❤
I'm sorry you had that experience on the sidewalk. I'm in my early 30s and I feel like an alien with people my age. Ghosting is super common. Etiquette is not a thing. I've recently asked some friends for clarification on struggles I've been having with in terms of friendship navigation and each time I've been dismissed. It feels like everyone is punching down and it's so depressing. I want to interact with people and be social, but it's not worth it.
I'm sorry you are going through that, and I totally feel yah. I'm probably a bit older than you at 37. but I feel similarly much of the time. to the extent that though I spent my whole teens and twenties living in cities as an artist, I moved to one of the most rural places in the continental US (or at least it was a few years ago) --- I know a handful of people who don't punch down, but I would have to travel to another state or even across the country to see them (which I have done and will continue to do so, even a couple hours with coffee with those folks is like years of surface level socializing). there's a few people in my community that are kindred spirits, some you have to catch in the right mood, a lot of people that just fade into the periphery because they are perfectly confounding. Adopting a dog from the shelter has been one of the most helpful things in my life. A pet will never replace a person, but it goes a long ways. I also run a small business that does landscaping and handyman work so I am finding friends that way. even when it is transactional. I will say volunteer work can lead to some really great friends and rewarding, fulfilling, deeply meaningful social interaction. For instance my small town gets together and volunteers for "Streetscaping" on Main Street - doing the planters and hanging baskets. I'm looking forward to going this saturday to help with that. there will certainly be a few grouches, a few people I know and love and delight and seeing, and probably make some new friends :) - before that my best friends came from Art College, but art college, for me at least was a soul suck for the first 3 years - since art students (and professors) are often so pretentious and the environment i found suffocating, eventually a small group of people formed around me who felt similarly and those were some of the best friends I ever had.
sorry I know you didn't ask for advice, I just empathize with your situation. :)
@@kodyjbosch1 no no, that was really nice to hear actually. I recently moved out of the inner city as an artist and into a house in a much quieter neighborhood and we recently adopted a dog. I might be realizing I don't always need to be mad and it's an emotional detox. It'll probably be better in the long run, just a brutal transition.
Thank you for a kind interaction over the internet ✌️
You're MOST DEFINITELY not alone. Social media is the death of common courtesy.
It's all about ME.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and frustrations with me. I'm 68. I got a university education, worked, saved and was able to retire in a beautiful, small populated area.
I don't worry about the decline of society anymore. Not my problem. All of the problems with youth today are self-inflicted. You shall reap what you sow. I grew up in the later 50's and 60's. Say what you want about conservatives today, but without my conservative upbringing I would probably not have the sustained the respect for other people that I still display today.
It seems to me that the cluelessness of some younger people today has to do with their inability to self-monitor -- to see themselves from the outside -- for reasons I've yet to fathom. My wife and I have gone to welcome new young neighbors as the older ones have moved on, only to be greeted by blank stares, or a look of "What do these people want from us?" Now we don't do that anymore.
I have had the same experience. They look at you like you're a federal agent.
@@FranLab mid 80s new neighbors moved in and my dad went over to welcome them and they said “we bought the house not the neighborhood” and slammed the door.
You are 💯% correct Fran about the future of the 20s generation. Social media has changed people. Kindness and rapport isn’t as important from when humans had to socialize in person.
Oh Fran, you are SO spot on! I'm a GenXer and I work with young people that are starting their first job. I'm a friendly person and always greet everyone when they come to work but there are a few that just walk by without even acknowledging my presence. I suppose I'm just an old cranky bitch too. Sigh.
When I worked in retail, I could always tell what high school younger employees went to or graduated from. We had kids from 4 different high schools and everyone I said hi to, or talked to were polite etc. One high school had students that would just ignore me.
The elderly people from that town would be nastier than people from other towns as well, so I'm not singling out younger people.
I'm sorry that happened to you, Fran. I am a Boomer and I see that Society is devolving on many basic human levels. Ethics, morals, and common decency are being eroded away on a daily basis. On the one hand, I fear for the future of our species, and on the other, I'm glad I won't be here to watch it anymore.
Nihilism isn't so bad or frightening the older I get.
ok boomer. I love fran, but stop.
Are we not men?
People were never polite, you were just high and drunk.
Ethics, morals, and common decency are no longer required for the new generation. Character no longer matters.....only your intersectionality determines what you can get away with.
Sorry you went through this Fran you are such an inspiration to me (((hugs)))
Fran, I am a professor who researches the relationship between human behavior and information technology, and I teach university students in one of the largest public university systems in the U.S. From my prospective of my mostly quantitative research, humans are simply not equipped to communicate the way technology allows us to communicate. We are evolutionarily wired to communicate and interact face-to-face, and to the extent that technology allows us to interact virtually, we are precipitating our own social demise. I do not recall if you drew the link directly, but you certainly noted that we are consumed by living in a virtual world, and we are losing our ability to interact with decorum in the physical world. If you were to ask me what we can do to resolve this issue, I would tell you that we need to unplug, at least from a social perspective. I do not see this happening, and because of this, I hold out little hope for humankind. On the other hand, I teach students here in the south who are respectful (in the university environment anyway), and who mostly know how to behave, even though they sometimes fail to do so. This said, all bets are off when we transition the discussion to the general population in larger cities across the U.S. I am saddened that you experienced such rude behavior, but my research suggests that things are going to get far worse unless the U.S. figures out how teach current and future generations the importance of decorum. For all the wonderful things that arpanet brought us, Pandora’s box has been opened and I fear it will never be shut.
Joe
Bloody hell. This lack of spacial awareness and lack of acknowledgement of others.. this really pisses me off..
I agree with your comments and let’s remember Woodstock turned into a mud bath and was an awful place to be but they all got on with it and created a special occasion beautifully captured on film- the quality of the film is so inviting to view as well
Jerry Springer died the other day. Back when his show was on, I wondered if it was somehow normalizing shitty behaviour.
It's not a Philly-specific thing. Can report it happening plenty here in the Bay Area, unfortunately.
Fran, I am 28 years old. Grew up in the school of hard knox as a farm boy from BFE Kansas. Looking at people my age all around me, I can agree that people have gotten soft and sheltered. I was a geek and a "gifted kid" in school so I had my fair share of encounters with abuse and bullies. Some of my best friends throughout high school were older gentlemen who were like father figures to me, much like your war vet friend was to you. I would not trade my upbringing for a SECOND because I really do feel as if I was raised in the crucible. Anything life happens to throw at my me I seem to be much better equipped to handle than some of my peers. I also have manners and am always courteous. I recognize I am the exception not the rule, though. I just try my best to instill some of my learnings and values into the youngsters below me and hope that some of it will stick. I think it's all we can really do at this point.
It's ALL generations these days.
The same thing that happened to tolerance, compassion, consideration, common sense, civility, etc. It’s been said that compassion is the hallmark of a healthy society. If that’s true, we’re in deep shit……..
Fran, thanks for this video. You are not alone with this . In my generation, I am 72 now there have been a number of values that were not for discussion because these were needed for living in the community. This has changed, I recognised this already years ago and it is a result of how the young people today grow up without families and respect and their values. Education is another issue, look in our schools today and Universities, this is not how it should be.The only way is that we still live to our values even it is getting harder in the current environment.thanks again and regards from Sydney, Australia.
It wasn't just the generation or the age. It was the hippie culture (yes, I am "that old").
You know, the "peace, love, anti-war, equality, kindness, sharing, political awareness, reverence for Mother Earth, etc..." thing. Our goal was to make a different world. Consider the "Occupy" movement and Bernie Sanders. But that was only a portion of the Boomer generation.
The other half consisted of "Yuppies", aka young, upwardly mobile, "Greed Is Good" crew.
My parents generation despised hippies and did all they could to eradicate them. Since they had control of governments and the economy, they pretty much succeeded. Today, there are a very few of us left, and of course we're dying off.
Meanwhile, my parents generation purely loved their baby "Gordon Gekkos"" and did all they could to support their "Yuppie", money-mongering children and ensure that they survived and thrived. They succeeded in that as well.
The Hippie movement had plenty of issues; the worst one may be our extreme reluctance to consider the future. Much of that was due to the incessant drumbeat of the onset of a nuclear war. None of us assumed that there would be a future for any of us, including the rest of the planet.
So. Here we are.
Apparently the old saying needs to be updated: "Vanity, thy name is youth".
I tuned into WPRB (upon looking at your shirt) and I'm hearing Billy Holiday sing "I;ll Wind" . Webster on Sax... wonderful! Thanks for cueing me in.
I love you Fran! As an old (78) retired Electronics Technician I look forward to more of your bench work. You inspire me to keep learning
btw I like your hair this way, _OA (means Only Anthony) in central Florida
The only word of "courtesy" you still hear frequently is "sorry". Unfortunately, so many seem to have forgotten the true meaning of the word. Many seem to think the word is an excuse to continue with bad behaviour.
My partner and I recently attended a local high school production of “Matilda, The Musical”. I love Roald Dahl but hadn’t read this. Downloaded it to the Kindle, read that, and we watched the current musical version and DeVito’s ‘90’s movie. Not sure where I’m going with this. I empathize and agree with your theories , knowing there are pockets of kindness amid the chaos. Matilda demonstrates the contrast between the cruelty of the self-obsessed and those who see themselves in a garden which is only maintained by the attention of the ones who see it’s potential and not only their own concerns. So much to know, so much I don’t know, looking up the publication date, it appears Dahl’s initial take on Matilda was twisted the other way. Regardless of that, I do know when I experience kindness and try to be the kindness I wish to see in the world.
I'm sorry that happened to you Fran, that is appallingly rude behavior. Yeah, i've been having a conversation on my facebook timeline with my friends this week about this very issue. it's mind blowing. it's equally if not more appalling that i see parents older than me (im 37) actively showing their kids how to act via their example. it's utterly confounding. and these people are so closed off there is seemingly nothing one can do or say to them to make them be even remotely polite. I'm just learning to keep a half smile and put my energy where it is appreciated. It makes one a lot less willing to extend the common courtesies (in my case holding the door open for a mother and her teenage daughter when a drunk person was rolling on the sidewalk nearby) - when one gets treated so terribly, hurtfully actually for doing what we were raised as the right thing to do. Hang in there, the world is getting better in some ways, and society continues to decompose in others -
TBTH I was taught politeness and manners in the mid 60's. "Do it or else". But it's served me so well in my life. Common courtesy to everyone I meet. Holding doors for people with full hands, genuine gratitude for people who serve us... Politeness gives us the opportunity to really communicate.
As technology changes, so does our society.
In the 1920s radio and the automobile changed us.
In the 1950s television changed us.
Now social media has changed us - for the worse.
Posting and "likes" feed the ego, creating a very self-centered person. I have seen this unhealthy social media ego even in Gen-X and boomers too.
There are still good people out there of all ages if you look for them.
You are right about the selfish generation now. My parents taught me values which now longer seem to exist. I had a confrontation with a new neighbour last year over something that was affecting neighbours all around, when confronted his response was " I can do what I want". Now I'm in my 60s but I changed his mind set!
i've been thinking along a similar line recently. it used to be that someone wouldn't dare misbehave out in public. society's judgement and criticism would be rather harsh, depending on the severity of one's transgression. and there was the desire to have your neighbors think well of you. i see so many videos promoting peoples' bad behaviors like it's something to aspire to when it's just sad, frightening, and disappointing. what the world is turning into is not a place i want to live.
A commendable comment on dysfunctions attributable to tech overtaking humanity in the modern world. One cannot disagree with the multitude of negative aspects, nor the positive ones that often go unobserved, while we evolve through the tools we create. A stoic would insist that only the virtuous will thrive while others, like the creeps revealed in this cautionary tale, wither away and meet much less desirable fates. Ehrmann's poem from 1927, Desiderata, which was also prevalent in 'Woodstockian' thought of decades past, still brings solace at such times with the sage advice to go placidly through the noise, haste, and to avoid those stooges who will continue to remain vexatious to one's spirit, but only if we allow them that liberty.
Not just kids, everyone. In stores, no one says 'excuse me' anymore. Even if they have to make substantial contact with your backside to squeeze thru an isle. Hold a door for someone? Ya......and get that look.....not an appreciative look. An entitled look like they are looking down on you as their servant. No 'thank you', nothing.
I QUIT. I quit saying 'excuse me' I quit holding doors for people, done. Not worth the trouble. Now I am one of them. Aren't we all.
Your points on argument/debate are dead on. Socratic dialog is gone. But as a 75 year old guy, I can tell you in my 50's I felt that stuff about your generation. I think it was Aristotle who criticized the younger generation. That being said, this generation after yours, may very well be doomed to get run over by a stronger culture.
It happened the complete opposite to me, i was about to cross a narrow area because lots of people, and an old lady (about her 60s) just streched out her hand to the wall to block me because she HAD to cross first, i was quite confused and a bit in shock xD
I'm sorry that was part of your walk that day Fran. 💜 gen-x, hemoglobin, Logan's Run.... nice btw, win on the merits, perspective.
The Movie is called Idiocracy. I recognized it as prophetic when I first saw it. That was nearly 20 years ago now. ....resistance is futile. 👾
Illigitimi non carborundum. You nailed it again.
There were certainly TVs and fast food restaurants back in the late 60's. Aside from that, your observations are right on.
i blew off woodstock but went to altamont. gotta say, as a hippie, kids then were not quite so scripted then. there were stereotypes, but they weren't quite so monolithic as they are today. then, if we saw a hippie who too carefully followed the many fads, we called them 'TIME/LIFE HIPPIES'.
EXCELLENT editorial, Fran! As an aging Boomer, I can relate to your observations.
The reason you were polite is because you were afraid of getting beat. You just hide it.
I think it's weird how my dad raised me to be respectful, but people my age aren't.
I'm of the Woodstock generation and my mother told me over and over again and again that the difference between humans and animals is humans have manners and animals do not.
You should have said, "Damn straight, and don't forget it!"
And any time someone calls you a boomer, return the favor and call them a doomer.
Fran, courtesy and politeness went by the wayside shortly after my pre-teen years. I was born in 1953 and remember that people were sociable, would speak to one another when passing on the street, and would open doors for women. You don't see that anymore either. In fact, I opened a door for a middle-aged woman on a college campus when I was an undergraduate and she actually looked at me and said, "I can open my own door, thank you." When is the last time you saw a guy stand up when an older woman enters a room? Probably never or a really long time ago. Caring about and for others, and extending courtesy to others disappeared a long time ago.
Fran, that was my generation. As I'm writing this, I've only watched about a minute of your video. You speak of the Woodstock generation, that we were 'different'. It was a different era, a different mindset, and what was then and is missing now was the newness of it all, the sea change of consciousness that unfolded, it's the sea change of consciousness that was existent then that does not exist now, from the uptight 50s to the sexual revolution of the early sixties, and then the music revolution, psychedelic and spiritual revolution of the mid to late sixties. It's all history now, but was very new then, and there was no internet, cell phones, etc. We just had each other, and the music. Spirituality was much more predominant, kids into meditation, Maharishi, etc. All the guys had long hair (I'm 72 and I finally cut my hair, after all these years). We were more cerebral, spiritual, political, but much less materialistic than we are now. I didn't miss Viet Nam, which hung over every young man's head like a dark ominous cloud, but I miss everything else about the late 60s, and the music, it was all so new, and so good. All the crap that people in society were not allowed to talk about in the open was suddenly okay to talk about it, and talk about it, we did. But, the newness of it all, that is what is missing today. Nothing is really new today except AI, which, in my view, from an artist''s viewpoint, is going to destroy the artist, and once you destroy the artist, you destroy a nation's soul.
But, of course, the rest of your video is about how impolite the younger generation is. I think, Fran, you just had a bad day. My contact with kids is pretty much limited to going to starbucks in the morning, and the kids there seem pretty polite. My grand-nieces are of that generation and they are extremely polite. Methinks you just had a bad day.
good points Fran, As a fellow YuTube creator. I have to be in a strong personal place to even read most comments about my films. Only Patreon keeps me going...feeling there are folk out there who like my efforts at filmmaking...the general TH-cam audience are far too fast, just to criticise, appearance, subjective opinions and to just watch conformation bias supporting content....films like yours...that educate and explore ....or mine, looking at science...are challenging for most viewers.
Don't feel bad, you're not alone Fran. These pricks have completely taken over my home town too. I am not a mean person by nature and I do not like the person they've forced me to be.. Just some guy trying to grocery shop having to force his way into the store, down the sidewalk etc etc etc. People completely unaware of others and largely the world around them
WPRB Princeton . Great station way back when I was listening in back in the early '80's. Hope they still are.
Still great, and completely listener supported.
"I will d1e of suppressed rage at the folly of my fellow man"
- Some problematic old guy, probably
I have said for awhile that I wish time had a fast forward button. I really don't like the present either. I wouldn't even want to be young in the present. I just kinda want to move out into the woods or something. The thing that kills me is it doesn't have to be this way. A 10% course correction by everyone, would make it seem like a completely new world.
The Psionic Audio electronics-repair channel recently posted a video about being patient and helpful, not snide or dismissive or acting like a know-it-all, when dispensing information and advice to newbie electronics DIYers.
I completely agree with you, Fran. ✌🏻
I do think that politeness and courtesy is seen as a weakness these days. There's a lot more aggression now which, arguably, could be caused by the junk food which a lot of people are eating.
I expect if you responded back aggressively to your sidewalk altercation and created a scene, then when the couple realised that other people are alerted, they may have backed down - who knows?
Being polite doesn't cost anything and you did the right thing by not descending to their level.
Being polite is quite costly. But keeping it real does not. Would you rather pay the price of politeness or be authentic at no cost to you?
I'm a proud Gen Xer (May 1969, alive before the moon landing!). I've been interested with technology/electronics/computers/radio for as long as I can remember. Even back in my early school days I would be the odd one out reading an Electronics Australia magazine during breaks. I'm old enough to have seen a LOT of technology come into existence, technology that is taken for granted these days... like selling a JRC JLR-4000 GPS navigator to a fisherman in the late 1990s for $18K and telling him the GPS constellation wasn't complete so it wouldn't work all the time! I became a parent later in life and I really hate it when my 14yo son calls me a "Boomer".
Mass psychosis has created a population brimming with anti-social, animalistic and detrimental individuals. But you have to take heart that there are still so many young folks out there who are genuinely and thoroughly good natured. And even the bad ones still have time to learn some life lessons and change their ways, I know not all of them will, but we can hope. I choose to, even though I've experienced the spectrum of anti-social bs from these neonates, we have to root for them, even if it's only for selfish reasons.
Truly, one of the best videos you've ever made, definitely a home run. Thank you!
You hit the nail right on the head Fran. I'm older than you and although I don't experience much agism I have the advantage of not living in a big city. I wonder how these rude, arrogant and entitled 20 somethings will cope in say 10 to 15 years time? My prediction is that some if not most won't. Regarding your comments about young people having no interest in the happenings around the world and history will only mean the current younger generations will be destined to simply repeat the mistakes of the past. The only difference being that they will stamp their own marque of stupidity on their actions. :(
A few years ago I had a late 20 something living in my home. Lazy, self entitled and fully influenced by their ill-informed contemporaries on social media. Believed every bit of trash they read on Facebook and Twitter never bothering to verify the credibility of anything they read. "I read it on Facebook or Twitter so it must be true". - LOL
The only mistake you made in attempting to get that young couple's attention is you didn't message them. Ding, ding! Incoming message - Pavlov's dogs - conditioned to respond to the bell.
A lot of old people here are complaining about the "damn kids these days". I as a young person (almost 26) take solace in the fact that their elders made precisely the same complaints about them, mainly "They don't show us the deference we think we deserve! They don't act, talk, or think like we do! We, being older than they, are their superiors! Damn them for thinking otherwise! for criticizing us in any way!" So it has gone, from 2800 BCE onward.
Unfortunately politeness is getting rarer than gold.😢 Basically the movie Idiocracy become real every day