When I’m ask to knit something for someone I usually say I won’t knit it but I’ll teach you how to knit. As soon as I say that the usual response is I don’t have time. So that is the end of request for hand knit items.
As a "selfish" knitter, this is my response as well. I'm happy to teach you how to knit/point you to resources. I am not going to sell you my finished works. I'll make gifts, I'll *consider* requests (if you are knitworthy, it's going to take years until you get it), but I do not sell works, and I enjoy my hobby so much more when I can pick and choose what *I* want to make.
That's a great response. Its a gentle and kind way of saying 'no' and the onus of knitting the item now falls on the person asking. I think the person will appreciate the fact that you even offered to help him/her learn. "I'm sorry but I don't have the time to take on extra projects, but if you want to learn how to knit I can teach you."
Hi Barbara, I don't even know where to begin....this episode really struck a cord. "Yes, you are going to pay for the yarn"...LOVED IT!! And the laundry example had me laughing with tears!! But what you said was the truth. You hit so many points that I have experienced. It was wonderful to hear someone else voice what I have been thinking for years! Bottom line for me: no more guilt for saying no! I really have enjoyed your last episodes because you have stirred up the way I see myself as a knitter. THANKS!!!!
That is one thing that always drives me nuts. When "they" say "I'll pay for the yarn." like paying for the yarn is some big favor that they are doing for you. It's like, whoa? Prior to you saying that we were discussing me making you something with yarn I paid for?
Great topic!!! addressed some serious issues we've all experienced...it kills me how someone would pay $1000 for the next new phone but say you want to be compensated for your time and they instantly become outraged, lol...
I respect everything you said in this video!! It makes me feel so blessed about the people I'm surrounded by. My family, friends, and acquaintances so far have paid me way more than I asked for, so I just donate the money to my local TNR/cat and dog rescue group. I'm autistic and disabled from autoimmune disease and lung damage from TB and live with my mom and we have more than enough so I don't need the extra money. Knitting has given me new joy and a purpose. I make things that will outlast me and I think thats really cool. I learned to knit this year and have knit for 6+hours a day since then..haha. Ive always loved making gifts for people. Every person I've knitted for has been gracious and so happy with the finished piece. They typically let me choose the patterns and hand dye custom colors, too. It keeps it from feeling like work! :) stay safe and be well!
You have to let all gifts go. I totally agree that the knitting to someone else's wishes is a chore. I won't do it. I have offered to teach the requester to knit. No takers.
YES! THIS!!! It took me a few years before I figured this out, but now when I tell people how much it would cost for them to have me knit for them they are astonished and quickly back off. The counterpoint to this is that when I do knit a gift, most are especially appreciative because they know the value of the gift they have received. This leads to a whole different conversation about who is knit-worthy. Of note, some of my family members, including my own mother, are not. But some friends regard the things I've given them as high art treasures. I will always knit for them. 💓 I will only knit for friends if it a gift of my heart. Hard won lesson. 🙌
Also, this...I, I am knit-worthy. In the beginning I was so excited to share my new found skill with others. But now I am more particular about yarns, patterns, and mostly knit for myself or a few gifts to friends.
I definitely agree with and like what you had to say. I was always this way with my quilts, and now that way with my knitting as I am learning it. When I do give my work to someone, it is totally for them, and give them instructions for care so they know how to take care of it. After that it is up to them. I have had someone not appreciate what I did for them, and just made a mental note not to give them something handmade again. I am definitely a selfish crafter. I only make what I want to make for the person, but when I do make for others I try to think about them and their ability to care for the item. Like the blanket I am knitting for my grandpa who just had to move into a nursing home. I am keeping the pattern simple, and using yarn that can be easily washed and cared for by the home. I don't think I could make anything for money because it would take all the joy out of it for me.
When you're doing it for money it's a job with all of the baggage that comes with that. And I 100000% agree that quilts fall into this same category. My mother and grandmother are/were quilters and the amount of work and love that goes into them is amazing.
Such wise words. People so often try to “force”, you into making things for them by whining or manipulating too, it is so disrespectful, and then you are the villain when you stick to your “no”. I have actually lost so called friends because I have said “no”, to a request. I do not allow it to define me, because it says more about the person who is not able to respect others’ wishes and boundaries, than it says about me. Feel free to say “no” to people, it does not make you a bad person.
Hi Barbara! I love this topic. I often have people ask if I can make them things. This is how I usually handle a situation where I don't want to /or don't have the time to make the item. I ask how much do they feel is fair for an hourly rate. Most people will reply with $10-$15. I say, wonderful. This project will take approximately 3 steins of yarn (that I will be happy to show you were the Local Yarn Store is that has the right yarn for this project) that will be somewhere from $20-$35 per skein, and 30 Hours work. Because your a friend, I will only charge you $10.00 per hour. This has always put the decision back on to them. As of yet, I have never had anyone want to pay $390 for a shawl. Of course, now that I say that....someone will.....lol Sue (your favorite Flock gal) lol
This was a wonderful vid. I've knitted for others, extended family, and found out that many of my items knitted or quilted ended up in plastic bags or storage units. I've sold quilts that were more appreciated and cared for. But now, I'm doing it for me. Quilts, cloths, knitwear; just for me. Because I put in the work, I knit or quilt for hours, and not get fair value from others. I love this vid in the fact that.....I don't have to knit for others. My time, My cost, My love. I've become a tad selfish with my time.
This is so true. Those who don't handmake anything have no idea how much effort and time goes into knitting. When you tell them they might not even believe you. The machine knitted items are so cheap that it is pointless ro give knitted items as gifts anymore. And people will easily give away items to thrift shops,Goodwill after they get bored with it.
Yassss 👏 👏 👏 I needed this! Thanks Barbra! Literally what I’m thinking right now.. ugh “knit worthy” people will appreciate the time and artistic creation.
Everything you said just absolutely resonates with me. I'm an avid crocheter but its more than just a hobby for me. It's therapy. I have severe PTSD and times that I'm not having a good day, I need to crochet to keep my hands busy and make my mind focus on one single task at hand or I get overwhelmed. That being said, I logically knew I couldn't keep all my projects so I happily make what I want and then gift it to someone. I take no requests or consignments from anyone, even my own family. I feel like when people want an item and a yarn to be used that the project isn't "mine" anymore and therefore increases my anxiety since I'm not enjoying the process. In my case, crocheting is therapy and my "NO" is etched in granite. I will not compromise my mental health for someone else's need to have an item. So far, most have been respectful of this with just a few outliers. Thankfully when I explain things to them they tend to back off. Thank-you for addressing this issue that I think a lot of people experience but just don't talk about.
Very good topic! When I knit/crochet a project to give away, it is already in my mind that I will be gifting it. I never take on a project as an conscious, paid assignment. I work in my craft for the joy of working in it (and to help exercise my fingers/hand!) I have found that people, outside of our craft world, have no idea of what a " handmade piece of work" would cost. My personal experience with this is in quilt making (Yes, I am a quilter working on my knitting skills)...I made an ALREADY PROMISED quilt for my friend as a wedding gift. I made a few more quilts, one in particular that caught the eye of my friend's brother...the quilt matched his livingroom decor... She asked me how much was a willing to sell it. I told her...$500 ( we are talking about a nice twin size, maybe a little larger, handmade quilt!) She told me that she thought that was too much! I told her THAT SHE WASN'T GETTING IT...that I would give it to someone who means something to me. Being in the QUILT WORLD, I have seen quilts go for thousands of dollars...esp when you start getting into the Show and/or Museum type quilts. Quilts are works of art! She told me that she will go to Walmart to buy a quilt for her brother. I told her to do just that! Box Store bought quilt vs an heirloom to be passed down to family members...for generations. To this very day, I refuse to give any of my pieces/works to her! She has seen pictures of my work, made comments, but she knows that I will never gift her, again, with any of my work. It is from this experience that I learned that these people do not value our work, time, skills, anything. It is from this that I learned to gift my work, only to people who are very close to me and who appreciate my talents/skills/patience/continued education/conferences and my absolutely desire to create beautiful, fiber-ristic art! Just wanted to share this with you!
Very good! I started knitting,crocheting and stiching a year ago,since then I appreciate the work and art that goes into this kind of craft.Most people have no clue how much time,patience,creativity and effort is inbedded in one single piece,not to mention the needed materials. I only give my pieces to people who appreciate them.
Amen to that! I have received that compliment about oh you should sell that!!!! Yeah sure....! It's the same when someone notices that sewing machine: oh! I'm going to bring you my pants for hemming or whatever! I have two daughters: one knit worthy and one not and they know it!
It had to be said! I've made stuff for my boyfriend and mom who later on gave them away to others. It was many, many years before I made my mother something else. The gift she gave away was a Mother's Day gift I made for her because I was low on funds but I knew she would like. My daughter, however, is very knit worthy and appreciates and wears everything I make.
Love this!!! People who don't do hand mades have no idea how much goes into these "homemade" items. I have finally started saying get the materials then we'll talk about making this. Very few people ever take the time to go buy the materials, so the discussion ends there!!!
Thank you for this wonderful video. I knit and crochet and I love both. Years ago I worked at a place where it was allowed to do whatever during downtimes and in the break room. I always had projects with me and my coworkers always loved to watch me knit and crochet and admired the items. Of course they all asked me to make them things and I did. From my own yarn and completely free of charge because I love to do it and it is my therapy. Relaxes me and it makes me happy. BUT. After a few incidents I had to change my tune. One of the ladies I made a beautiful lacey crochet scarf for said she put it down on a chair at the bar and someone stole it, could I make another one for her. I did. That one she had to give to her sister because she wined it out of her hands. I told her that's too bad, no more free scarves for you. The other lady I crocheted a huge shawl for and she always draped it across her chair and it kept falling on the floor where she trampled on it. Then she lost it because she was a scatter brain and was always losing her stuff. So I put a stop to making them anything from then on. They just didn't appreciate it at all even though they saw me making them and knew the time and skill it took. I even tried teaching them but only one of the ladies actually took up knitting after that and then she told me how much she appreciated the craft and now she can see what goes into making something she can be proud of. That's one thing I wanted to add. The other is I make a lot of charity items that end up in crisis centers, hospitals, given to homeless people and the elderly in care homes. When I make those items I add a lot of love in every single stitch and hope whoever gets them will feel it and will enjoy using it. And of course I make all kinds of things for myself. I use a huge variety of yarns too, from the cheapest acrylic to the $40 a hank merino and silk. Thank you for your time if you read this. Happy crafting.
I really appreciate this video because I've been mildly struggling with guilt. I'm knitting xmas gifts for my parents and best friend, but not my sister. She's just not knit worthy
Don't feel guilty. You're both better off if you get her something she'll like, and you don't feel your time has been wasted. It's also nice to remember that it's the gift that's not fully appreciated, not the love behind it.
Let go of the guilt. Not everyone is knit-worthy and that's okay. Unfortunately, learning who is and who isn't can sometimes be a painful process, but there are always clues.
Thanks so much for this video. It made me stop and think about my knitting and crocheting in a different way. One of my favorite things to do is make items for my grandchildren. I also enjoy making hats or blankets for newborns in our family. I have decided (with the help of your video) to cut back on making items for people I casually know and start make some things for myself!
Perfect! I feel a bit justified. Thanks Barbara. I really hate when people at work would tell me I needed to knit them something. The ONLY time I won’t say no is to my grandchildren. Their parents (my kids) know exactly what it takes and are appreciative. They are still small so things knit up pretty quickly at this point.
Thank you for sharing such a delicate subject ... for years I give away! And when I turn 50 I decide to knit and crochet only for , husband and myself and my children only if they paid for NICE YARNS! Knit worthy! I never though of that before! I am definitely knit worthy! Blessing to you dear Barbara. 🧶🇨🇦🥰
Love crocheting for others but only when i feel like it, never by request. My sister-in-law asked me for an incredibly complicated amigurumi and while i love making that sort of project i have been dragging this one out for 3 yrs now..... i initially agreed because i was flattered that she admired my work so much. Ive learned my lesson! I dont knit for anyone since i just learned and everything is a bit wonky yet and once i get good i will be keeping my skills secret hahaha. Thank you for all the great videos. I am really enjoying the learning process and your fantastic tutorials and yarny thoughts. I am watching them all even if they are way beyond my current skill level!
I never appreciated just how much time projects take until I tried to make them myself. My great grandma made a bed throw for my parents before she passed away, and while I've always thought it's been beautiful, it means so much more to me because I know how much time and love it must've taken her. My mom recently told me the same thing: she didn't realize how much it must've taken until she watched me craft. I think it's difficult to phantom how much time it takes if you don't do it yourself.
All you said is sooo true ! I Love the idea to make them do your dishes, haha ! Perfect to make people understand what your knitting is worth ! Non knitters often don’t realize what it takes to knit... And this is true for many other crafts too ! Thanks for this video 👌😆💙
I learned my lesson several years ago when I net a beautiful shell, beaded with psych weight yarn. Very complex for my grandson's bride! She definitely is not a girly girl, she is a cowgirl, a barrel racer! I should've had a clue! I will not ever do that again, lesson learned!
I am a dog groomer. There’s been so many times I’ve gone to see family and several people ask me if I brought my clippers so I could groom their dogs. NO!! I’m on vacation!!
I'm am a licensed beautician. It was always beautyshop time When at family gatherings. Sometimes still is. I really don't mind it as most of my family are very appreciative and need the added assistance. But.. I do not spend the whole day on hair. Its a first come first serve then, Boom, done! I love my family and feel glad to help when I can.
That is so disrespectful to your time and talents. They should ask if you freelance and then be willing to pay. Especially cause you are a groomer and most the equipment you need to groom isn't portable.
I love knitting/crocheting for my family and friends. But hate being took advantage of. One of my DIL asked me to make my grand daughter a crocheted bunting for her bedroom wall. Loved making it. When she had my next grand daughter she 'assumed' I would happily make another for her room too. It wasn't would you mind or could you more no you can make one for her room now. I didn't make one. I made my new grand daughter a teddy bear with her initials on its feet. It was a point of principle to me -the bear probably took longer but I felt better. I was going to make the bunting before she mentioned it but was really annoyed at being taken for granted. Great video Barbara. xxJane
I have sewn my new winter coat. Mostly by hand, I piquéed the warmth layer (beautiful alpaca felt) to the outer layer so it fell nice, I tried some tailoring techniques so it would be nice and structured around the shoulders, I did a collar out of real lamb fur. For three months I stitched at this thing, almlost dayly, and it shows. First comments: "Oh, that looks nice! Can you make me one? I'll pay for the fabric" It got very quiet after I told them I would at least require ar least 2k for something like this. And still I would be in the red because of the time. Well, I work on my sewing for 15 years now, and I would love to teach what I know to people, but the "want" for the item is never big enough to actually learn and do something themselves. I like to knit small items like socks and so on, and I like doing that for myself and my children/ husband, but other than my baby nieces I don't knit outside my little nuclear family. Just never worth the effort :(
Thank you for this blog. A niece of mine wanted me to knit for her Exclusively. My answer was No. She's continued to send me patterns to do. Some were crochet not knitted and some were not in english.
I’ve only been asked to knit something for someone else a few times and I’ve responded “it would be even better if you made it yourself. I could teach you”. I didn’t get immediate responses but a few months later I’ve actually gotten interest and I’ve now taught them how to knit, they make their own things, and we have something to bond over!
If I could con someone into doing my dishes while I'm knitting them socks, Honey, them socks will never ever ever be finished! 10 years from now he'll still be doing dishes, and I'll be all "I'm almost done with the first sock. Your legs are 25 feel long, right?" I knit Mom an ankle length dress, because she was always cold. She said thanks. A month later she asked if I could shorten it to a sweater. It made me happy to do it, because it was what she wanted, and it was worn much more than the dress would have been. I made someone else a hat. They said "You should have blah blah blah." I said, OK, let me have it back and I'll think about how to do that." They asked once how it was going, and I said "It turns out I can't do it that way." They never asked for the other hat back, and it had already gone to a homeless person anyway. ETA: They can start right now - I've got yarn, needles, time AND a big ol' stack of dirty dishes!
Kitten WAW oh man. I knit for my kid and she is young enough to appreciate. As for my mom she always has a critique. I am currently knitting a bunch of stuff for my cousin and I hope she likes it. Moving forward I will focus on sweaters and socks for my self. 😁
@@annmariebusu9924 Yeah, the "You shoulda"s can weigh me down. My response is "Ok, that's how you can do it when you learn to knit." The response in my head anyway. I also try to remember that I've made or bought something for someone without their input, they aren't obligated to like it. I could have misjudged their taste, like the dear friend who gave me a gift, saying "You always wear such colorful clothes, but I noticed there's no orange in your wardrobe." - so I got a VERY orange shirt. There was a reason there was no orange in my wardrobe. Is your mom a crafter who uderstands the time and effort involved?
Kitten WAW 😂 orange is my favourite colour, I should have received that. It is not nice when you work hard and the person doesn’t like it. Let’s knit for ourselves or for someone unable to complain 😉
My supervisor had his first grandchild, and I delighted along with him as he showed me all the pics. I decided to knit a little dress for her for her 1st birthday and used the yarn I got in a knit crate subscription box (so no real investment in yarn). I knew that his wife and daughter were rather 'nose in the air' about the sorts of clothes the child wore, but I knit it anyway. My supervisor loved it and was touched and awed at my apparent skill. I told him that I didn't care if his wife and daughter hated it, I wanted 1 picture of the child wearing it and they could give it away after that. I did get the pic, and he said his wife did cry a little at the thought I cared enough to do something. I occasionally knit for friends, but I do not promise to be done in a certain time frame because well...life! I usually find the simplest of patterns--baby blankets!--because that dress I knit was my first lace AND my first real garment, so lesson learned! So far, overall, I've not been asked to knit for anyone, but thank you for giving us the courage to say, no.
Letting go is so very important! And please don't "guilt" the person into keeping the item. I have been on both sides of this topic. I crocheted bed sized afgans for my mom and two sisters. I went to one sister's home and it was wadded up on the floor with the dogs walking all over it. I have never seen my other sister or my mom, when she was alive, use them. So I love them dearly, but I won't knit or crochet anything for them again. I am glad I made the afgans for them, and at the same time sad they did not recognize or appreciate the time I put into them. On the other side of the topic one of my sisters makes me gifts every year. Last year she knit a sweater that is two sizes too small and in a color I really don't like; but I have learned that if a gift she gave me at any time in the past is not visible when she visits that says to her that I don't love her because I don't love and use what she made for me. I have tried suggesting food gifts or other things that can be used up due to lack of space, which has not been accepted so I feel stuck keeping items that don't fit me or my preferences so she does not think I don't love her because I don't use or display her gifts. Its very sad both ways.
I love your thinking - bartering LOve it! I should have listened to the whole video! a group of quilters (not me) made sailing blocks for a quilt to be auctioned off. the winner exclaimed it was for her dog!!!!!! ack!!! it was simply marvelous!
Thank you Barbara. I do know people that are not knitworthy . Yes. No is a full sentence. I need to use this singular word sentence a lot more. Explanations are not necessary. Have a great week.
That is an addendum, you are totally right that you don't owe anyone explanations or justifications. I just thought I'd add them for arguments sake LOL.
I only tend to have my paternal grandmother asking me to knit or crochet her things and often I will say yes because I know she appreciates them. The only time I'll say no is if she asks for socks because I am not a sock knitter and I want to get the practice in before I ever think about giving her a pair. Mostly, friends and family never know if I'm crocheting or knitting something for them so I don't have to worry about saying yes or no to them. I will make something in my own time, on my own accord, and that's the way it will stay.
Great topic! I’ve been caught out too, but my kids, grown up, all get socks for Christmas and now they look forward to them because they are so warm to wear, and tell me what colours they’d like them in. It’s great because I feel that they appreciate those gifts now, though they didn’t so much a few years ago ...
Great advice video. I'm a selfish crafter. I made dog and cat blankets for years and enjoyed gifting them. Then lock down came along and they just had everyone doing it. I had a nice email advising me the they did not want any more, and I was hurt? I've also had people ask for things but I'm not good with that and feel uncomfortable saying no. But, after watching your video I can feel better about the 'no' word. ☺️
Your crafting time is YOURS and no one can co-opt it! If you like charity knitting there are all kinds of places out there. One of my favorites is the Red Scarf project, not blankets but similar: www.fc2success.org/programsmentoring-and-support/red-scarf-project/
I struggle with this! And my sister is definitely that big person.... you going be doing it anyway make me one...and the criticizes everything afterwards!!!
@@megdomangue5807 Keep the peace in your heart, and keep the love of crafting. I think it is totally her issue, and you don't need to pick up any part of it to carry around.
You go girl...I love to make things for other people because I knit and Crochet and bobbinlace with love in every stitch.... and I have been exposed to people thinking I'm cheap...my mom was one, if I made her a gift... she never used it, yet if my sister went and paid someone to make something, Mom was extremely happy.... sorry my mom was my only example, I still loved her... hugs Lynn Weasenforth 💯💜💛💙🌹
I said "no" to my best friend the other day. I usually say yes to her crafting requests (and sometimes regret it), but this time she wanted me to crochet a baby blanket out of some utterly horrible yarn - because she was having problems with it! - and to her credit, recognised how horrible it was and offered to pay. I said nooooo and am kind of proud of myself that I didn't even waver. The baby's getting a quilt, that I'm helping her make next week. XD
Hahah this is aggressive!! I like it! I usually just would say, "I don't want to that would literally take me X hours" (often sweater requests... 40-50 hours minimum). And that is the end of that. No math needed!
I was asked many times to crochet. People do not have any clue how time consuming it is. I crochet and knit for pleasure and if I can sell crochet items already made, I am fine with it. Crocheting and knitting are physical therapies for me. My fans are home based: husband, kids and my family in Europe.
since i started knitting, my dad suggested two or three times that i knit my younger brother a sweater and that's definitely not something i'll ever do because on top on thinking he doesn't even want one, i see how he treats his clothes (including souvenir tshirts i brought him back from trips which i feel dumb for caring about but that still says a lot) and that makes me not want to waste time (or money bc ofc that'd be a generous gift lmao) on the man. it also took me almost a year to complete my first and so far only sweater /shakes fist at second sleeve. i haven't had the occasion of getting asked by friends or colleagues for knits yet but thanks for the advice on pricing my time for when the day comes x)
Since I have moved to southern Canada (Winnipeg) I have had many requests for knitted items and I quote the price (cost of yrn + labour)and they say too much...up North not a problem...I made the mistake at work to do one for a person quoted them the price ordered the yarn and got pd 50 for 150 dollars worth of yarn and they have not pd the difference for the cost of the yarn even so I dyed the yarn and am making something else with it...lesson learned do not do anything for people here...I make things for family and that is it...and people will ooh and aah over what I make and want it and I say will teach you how or quote a price and you you know the answer to that...love your pod cast
I loved this Barbara, I was shouting yes to every point you made. I've made Christmas gifts for people in the past and my mum and niece are th eobky ones I've seen wearing them. Now I only knit for my daughter (my sons don't seem to want hand knits anymore) and myself. I'd be willing to knit for others who are prepared to pay depending on the project.
I crochet for others, knit for myself. I make crochet afghans using the yarns that are low cost and machine washable. When done, they're folded and set aside. I've had friends and family ooh and ahh over a blanket and I tell them to take one they like. I rarely have a stash of them because they're taken so fast! I do that because I love to do it. Knitting on the other hand, is a slower process and I only do for me. No one asks and I don't offer! LOL I have a win win going on. 😁
I have friends who crochet who always say yes, but then they will whip up an entire throw in just one or two evenings, where I would spend 4 or 5 or even more times as long to make the same square feet of fabric. I sort of envy the speed of crochet. 😄
This year I am making things for Xmas again,but instead of giving what I think they might like,I block and bag and its all going in a big box and they can pick.I think everyone makes out that way...great video..thx Barbara👍🤗🧶❣
How I am approached depends on how polite my answer is. But usually somewhere in my answer is the phrase, “I no longer accept commissions.” That phrase alone takes the interaction from bored retiree to artist/craftswoman. I have a friend for whom I do knit. I explained “knit worthy” to her and she was absolutely thrilled that I thought her that way. Even with her I never commit myself, I find out what she would like and if I chose to make the item, I make it and gift the item to her, on my time schedule. If the person mentions buying yarn and or paying me, I’ll laugh stick out a foot and say, “These plain Jane socks cost just under $30 for yarn alone and I skimped on length to make that budget cut off. And that doesn’t even count the week of my life I used to make them.” Now on the other hand I’ll knit hundreds of kid’s hats each year and give them away. But in that situation, there are no expectation and an abundance of appreciation.
I'm in the "I'll teach you to knit" club, before I'll knit something for them. They have to at least try for a good amount of time. I'm good with knitting for close family & friends that are knitworthy. Using this approach they at least have an idea of what time and skill is required, and that usually makes them more appreciative of the knitted item. I also make sure that they know that I'm literally thinking of them while knitting the item. I find that this almost guarantees that they will 1) wear & appreciate the item, & 2) they will be thinking of me thinking of them while I was making the item. The ones that do get me are the people that say "you could sell that for ....." (insert way below the yarn cost, let alone the time) . They mean well, just have no clue. I just nicely inform them of the reality. That usually results in jaw dropping silence. LOL Mental note of knitworthy = levels of knitworthy: 1) Absolutely anything 2) You get to choose the color or thing 3) You can get random hat, mitts, cowl on request 4) I love you, here's a gift card, buy what you want 5)No way, not ever for any amount of money.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you for the video!🙂 I want to share it on my Facebook feed, but feel like they still wouldn't get it, and might take it the wrong way! 🤷♀️
I've been knitting for other people this summer as I've found patterns I want to try but can't afford the yarn and wouldn't wear. These are all "knitworthy" people who do not complain about the $150 cost of yarn. I chose the yarn, but they chose colorway. The "you could sell this" is always amusing. Sure, a $300 sweater. Right. Great video.
I agree with you Barbara this takes time and patients so I can’t just say yes when I know you’re not going to a appreciate or value what I spent my time doing for you and b having you just give it to goodwill later.🏴☠️
When I decided to knit something for my new DIL, I picked something I liked, wanted to knit and could wear if she didn’t like it. I made the beautiful Lady of the Valley Vest. When I gave it to her, I told her that if it wasn’t something she would wear, I would not be offended if she didn’t take it since I had others who could use it, so don’t take it to be nice and put it away in a drawer. She told me it was pretty but didn’t fit her style so I gladly took it home and I wear it. Now I only knit for family if they pick out the pattern and together we decide on the yarn. Works out great.
So you gave a gift to someone you deliberately made to fit your style and not hers so she wouldn't accept it and you could keep it to yourself? I say don't even bother offering people gifts. This is not how you give a gift to someone. So rude.
@@woolrules Just because we could both wear the same size item does not mean I didn’t want her to have it. Since she was married to my son for less than a year I was not completely aware of her “style”. I actually thought she would like it. Don’t judge if you don’t know me or my intentions.
@@denisecoit7675 You literally said you picked something YOU liked and would wear it if she didn't like it. I don't think I have judged you without knowing your intentions.
I have bartered for my knitted socks with my cleaning lady!!! It did get to a point though that all I was doing was knitting for her as she only spent 4 hours cleaning my house and between working full time, etc. and life it took me a lot longer to knit her socks than it did for her to clean my house. Now we are just back to cash! LOL!!!
Thank you so much for doing this video!!! I have been in some of those situations and what you have discussed is very helpful. And I just hope to be able to remember them when it comes up again. Lol!
Making A Good Scarf your pattern making for a friend and then one for me. I ordered DK yarn from Kraemer yarn. Easy knit when I am too tired to do socks. You are so funny 😂
Lovely. I am good with gifting or donation but do not like making to order. But my donations are all crochet (1/2 - 1/4 the time put in). Knitting is all for me.
Used to make Xmas stocking but not anymore. One girl said "boy your prices went up" that was it. There r some knit worthy people I know but definitely not my son or sister.
Stockings can be so time consuming and intricate, plus they are heirlooms. Working in several yarn stores I've had multiple "customers" come in with something their grandmother made and they want someone to make a matching one for a new family member. They don't have patterns, they just expect a knitter to look at it and be able to duplicate it with changes to the name. And they are always surprised when someone in the store doesn't jump at the chance to make $50 for something so easy.
i laugh when i post things i made and some random friend sends me something they like and say can you make this. i say yeah but you can buy it cheaper at the store. especially an afghan or other huge project like a sweater. i am nobody's personal crafter. i am an artist and i have an artist attitude.
I don’t think I have ever knitted, or crocheted something just for myself... I really am not acwearer of hats, or scarves, etc. I am thinking of crocheting myself a bug, comfy shawl, though.. And I have a couple of small quilts that are mine. I have no real interest in knitting sweaters or socks...for myself, or anyone else🥺. I’m way too slow fir sweaters, and my vision won’t take socks,, I love to knit for charity.. It’s so much fun to create tiny blankets and teeny weeny hats for the NICU: or for our precious “ Angel babies”.. .. I crochet,,,or knit...prayer shawls for people I know need them. If I knit, or crochet an item for a friend, or relative...as a gift...and I can tell that they have no idea how much of myself went into every stitch, that’s the last thing I will make for that person. After that, I just buy them something I know they will love, Same thing with quilts...though I had to give quilting up. Knitting, crocheting, snd quilting for others is.....something that definitely comes from your heart. It’s a special way of expressing your love, or admiration , for someone. Most people are very appreciative.. One thing... It really is work when you are working on a project you plan to give to someone, and you really don’t like the yarn, or the colorway of the yarn.. Working with yarns and colors you love is a big deal...At least it’s is for me. I can’t afford high end yarn...but I make sure to use beautiful colors...because I believe that color is the most important element in any project..... Thanks for treating a very important topic. Learning to say “ no” is a good thing to do. I admit to not being very good at it, 🥺🥺. I One of the thungs I like about knitting, or crocheting for charity, is that there are generally no deadlines, and nithung has to fit... NO PRESSURE..Just the pleasure of creating . 👍
I tried really hard to make it clear that if you actually want to knit for others, charities, what have you ... that is awesome. As a process knitter who likes making the thing more than having the thing - having the ability to not have boxes full of finished items is awesome LOL! I'm glad you've found the thing that makes you happy.
Like sewing...you'll see someone posting that they "just" need a dress hemmed; well, there's the fitting (if done properly) and the prepping and the sewing (if by hand); when you tell them it's $60 (my mother seamstress used to charge that much in 1980!!!);lots of TIME..... = money LOL It's fun having talents that lots of others don't know!
This video was perfect for me. I made a beautiful white lace shawl for my best friend that I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to give it to her and her response was "Oh great, I can use this to cover my legs at night while I'm driving my school bus...". She then proceeded to wad it up and chuck it on her couch. NOT knit worthy.
When I’m ask to knit something for someone I usually say I won’t knit it but I’ll teach you how to knit. As soon as I say that the usual response is I don’t have time. So that is the end of request for hand knit items.
LOL!
Haha I just read your comment. That’s my response too!
Good response.
As a "selfish" knitter, this is my response as well. I'm happy to teach you how to knit/point you to resources. I am not going to sell you my finished works.
I'll make gifts, I'll *consider* requests (if you are knitworthy, it's going to take years until you get it), but I do not sell works, and I enjoy my hobby so much more when I can pick and choose what *I* want to make.
That's a great response. Its a gentle and kind way of saying 'no' and the onus of knitting the item now falls on the person asking. I think the person will appreciate the fact that you even offered to help him/her learn. "I'm sorry but I don't have the time to take on extra projects, but if you want to learn how to knit I can teach you."
I’ve done knitting for others and it turns into real drudgery!! While I love to knit for family, that’s my choice! That gives me pleasure!
Do what you love!
When you knit/crochet, it shows in the work if it's made willingly with love or out of obligation.
So true!
True
Hi Barbara, I don't even know where to begin....this episode really struck a cord. "Yes, you are going to pay for the yarn"...LOVED IT!! And the laundry example had me laughing with tears!! But what you said was the truth. You hit so many points that I have experienced. It was wonderful to hear someone else voice what I have been thinking for years! Bottom line for me: no more guilt for saying no!
I really have enjoyed your last episodes because you have stirred up the way I see myself as a knitter. THANKS!!!!
That is one thing that always drives me nuts. When "they" say "I'll pay for the yarn." like paying for the yarn is some big favor that they are doing for you. It's like, whoa? Prior to you saying that we were discussing me making you something with yarn I paid for?
Great topic!!! addressed some serious issues we've all experienced...it kills me how someone would pay $1000 for the next new phone but say you want to be compensated for your time and they instantly become outraged, lol...
Well, you have fun knitting anyway, right? *sarcasm*
I respect everything you said in this video!! It makes me feel so blessed about the people I'm surrounded by. My family, friends, and acquaintances so far have paid me way more than I asked for, so I just donate the money to my local TNR/cat and dog rescue group. I'm autistic and disabled from autoimmune disease and lung damage from TB and live with my mom and we have more than enough so I don't need the extra money. Knitting has given me new joy and a purpose. I make things that will outlast me and I think thats really cool. I learned to knit this year and have knit for 6+hours a day since then..haha. Ive always loved making gifts for people. Every person I've knitted for has been gracious and so happy with the finished piece. They typically let me choose the patterns and hand dye custom colors, too. It keeps it from feeling like work! :) stay safe and be well!
That is so great to hear! It is always fun to have knitworthy people around you.
You have to let all gifts go. I totally agree that the knitting to someone else's wishes is a chore. I won't do it. I have offered to teach the requester to knit. No takers.
That seems to be a common theme (offering teaching and getting declined) LOL!
YES! THIS!!!
It took me a few years before I figured this out, but now when I tell people how much it would cost for them to have me knit for them they are astonished and quickly back off.
The counterpoint to this is that when I do knit a gift, most are especially appreciative because they know the value of the gift they have received.
This leads to a whole different conversation about who is knit-worthy. Of note, some of my family members, including my own mother, are not. But some friends regard the things I've given them as high art treasures. I will always knit for them. 💓 I will only knit for friends if it a gift of my heart. Hard won lesson. 🙌
Also, this...I, I am knit-worthy. In the beginning I was so excited to share my new found skill with others. But now I am more particular about yarns, patterns, and mostly knit for myself or a few gifts to friends.
It's tough when it is a family member - but live and learn!
I definitely agree with and like what you had to say. I was always this way with my quilts, and now that way with my knitting as I am learning it. When I do give my work to someone, it is totally for them, and give them instructions for care so they know how to take care of it. After that it is up to them. I have had someone not appreciate what I did for them, and just made a mental note not to give them something handmade again. I am definitely a selfish crafter. I only make what I want to make for the person, but when I do make for others I try to think about them and their ability to care for the item. Like the blanket I am knitting for my grandpa who just had to move into a nursing home. I am keeping the pattern simple, and using yarn that can be easily washed and cared for by the home. I don't think I could make anything for money because it would take all the joy out of it for me.
When you're doing it for money it's a job with all of the baggage that comes with that. And I 100000% agree that quilts fall into this same category. My mother and grandmother are/were quilters and the amount of work and love that goes into them is amazing.
Such wise words. People so often try to “force”, you into making things for them by whining or manipulating too, it is so disrespectful, and then you are the villain when you stick to your “no”. I have actually lost so called friends because I have said “no”, to a request. I do not allow it to define me, because it says more about the person who is not able to respect others’ wishes and boundaries, than it says about me. Feel free to say “no” to people, it does not make you a bad person.
Totally agree!
Hi Barbara! I love this topic. I often have people ask if I can make them things. This is how I usually handle a situation where I don't want to /or don't have the time to make the item. I ask how much do they feel is fair for an hourly rate. Most people will reply with $10-$15. I say, wonderful. This project will take approximately 3 steins of yarn (that I will be happy to show you were the Local Yarn Store is that has the right yarn for this project) that will be somewhere from $20-$35 per skein, and 30 Hours work. Because your a friend, I will only charge you $10.00 per hour.
This has always put the decision back on to them. As of yet, I have never had anyone want to pay $390 for a shawl. Of course, now that I say that....someone will.....lol
Sue (your favorite Flock gal) lol
That’s a great idea! Asking them the hourly rate first is brilliant. So glad you liked the video and yes, you’re totally my fave lol!
This was a wonderful vid. I've knitted for others, extended family, and found out that many of my items knitted or quilted ended up in plastic bags or storage units. I've sold quilts that were more appreciated and cared for. But now, I'm doing it for me. Quilts, cloths, knitwear; just for me. Because I put in the work, I knit or quilt for hours, and not get fair value from others. I love this vid in the fact that.....I don't have to knit for others. My time, My cost, My love. I've become a tad selfish with my time.
This is so true. Those who don't handmake anything have no idea how much effort and time goes into knitting.
When you tell them they might not even believe you.
The machine knitted items are so cheap that it is pointless ro give knitted items as gifts anymore.
And people will easily give away items to thrift shops,Goodwill after they get bored with it.
I can't even imagine giving something someone made me to a thrift shop - but people do.
I love this! Thank you for "giving me permission" to say "no"...(more like it's ok to say "no").
If you need the permission you have my official permission LOL!
I am going to save this video and show it to the ones that don't understand NO!
I have to admit, I was thinking about that possibility when I was making the video LOL.
Thank you. People are always wanting me to make things they can buy. I don't like to sell my stuff. Then it is work. I am a hobby crocheter
Totally! If you can buy it - buy it!
Yassss 👏 👏 👏
I needed this!
Thanks Barbra!
Literally what I’m thinking right now.. ugh
“knit worthy” people will appreciate the time and artistic creation.
I'm glad it clicked with you!
Everything you said just absolutely resonates with me. I'm an avid crocheter but its more than just a hobby for me. It's therapy. I have severe PTSD and times that I'm not having a good day, I need to crochet to keep my hands busy and make my mind focus on one single task at hand or I get overwhelmed. That being said, I logically knew I couldn't keep all my projects so I happily make what I want and then gift it to someone. I take no requests or consignments from anyone, even my own family. I feel like when people want an item and a yarn to be used that the project isn't "mine" anymore and therefore increases my anxiety since I'm not enjoying the process. In my case, crocheting is therapy and my "NO" is etched in granite. I will not compromise my mental health for someone else's need to have an item. So far, most have been respectful of this with just a few outliers. Thankfully when I explain things to them they tend to back off. Thank-you for addressing this issue that I think a lot of people experience but just don't talk about.
I am glad that I was able to connect with you! Stay firm in your setting of boundaries!
Very good topic! When I knit/crochet a project to give away, it is already in my mind that I will be gifting it. I never take on a project as an conscious, paid assignment. I work in my craft for the joy of working in it (and to help exercise my fingers/hand!) I have found that people, outside of our craft world, have no idea of what a " handmade piece of work" would cost. My personal experience with this is in quilt making (Yes, I am a quilter working on my knitting skills)...I made an ALREADY PROMISED quilt for my friend as a wedding gift. I made a few more quilts, one in particular that caught the eye of my friend's brother...the quilt matched his livingroom decor... She asked me how much was a willing to sell it. I told her...$500 ( we are talking about a nice twin size, maybe a little larger, handmade quilt!) She told me that she thought that was too much! I told her THAT SHE WASN'T GETTING IT...that I would give it to someone who means something to me. Being in the QUILT WORLD, I have seen quilts go for thousands of dollars...esp when you start getting into the Show and/or Museum type quilts. Quilts are works of art! She told me that she will go to Walmart to buy a quilt for her brother. I told her to do just that! Box Store bought quilt vs an heirloom to be passed down to family members...for generations. To this very day, I refuse to give any of my pieces/works to her! She has seen pictures of my work, made comments, but she knows that I will never gift her, again, with any of my work. It is from this experience that I learned that these people do not value our work, time, skills, anything. It is from this that I learned to gift my work, only to people who are very close to me and who appreciate my talents/skills/patience/continued education/conferences and my absolutely desire to create beautiful, fiber-ristic art! Just wanted to share this with you!
quilters are a cut above kudos
Very good! I started knitting,crocheting and stiching a year ago,since then I appreciate the work and art that goes into this kind of craft.Most people have no clue how much time,patience,creativity and effort is inbedded in one single piece,not to mention the needed materials.
I only give my pieces to people who appreciate them.
@@fetijajasari6624 Absolutely!
@@darlenefarmer5921 🌹🌹🌹
$500 is a great price for a handcrafted quilt! I feel a little sorry for her - but not much LOL.
Amen to that! I have received that compliment about oh you should sell that!!!! Yeah sure....! It's the same when someone notices that sewing machine: oh! I'm going to bring you my pants for hemming or whatever! I have two daughters: one knit worthy and one not and they know it!
The sewing machine people would be the recipient of one of those super cheap needle/thread mending kits LOL! I'd be like - have fun.
I knit things for my daughters mostly, they LOVE and appreciate it so much, I loved this video, its sooo true about being knit worthy
It is wonderful that your daughters appreciate what you do!
It had to be said! I've made stuff for my boyfriend and mom who later on gave them away to others. It was many, many years before I made my mother something else. The gift she gave away was a Mother's Day gift I made for her because I was low on funds but I knew she would like. My daughter, however, is very knit worthy and appreciates and wears everything I make.
Ouch - mother's day? That's great about your daughter!
Love this!!! People who don't do hand mades have no idea how much goes into these "homemade" items. I have finally started saying get the materials then we'll talk about making this. Very few people ever take the time to go buy the materials, so the discussion ends there!!!
That's a great point. Some people want you to do everything and then from their point of view the thing they wanted just magically appears.
Thank you for this wonderful video. I knit and crochet and I love both. Years ago I worked at a place where it was allowed to do whatever during downtimes and in the break room. I always had projects with me and my coworkers always loved to watch me knit and crochet and admired the items. Of course they all asked me to make them things and I did. From my own yarn and completely free of charge because I love to do it and it is my therapy. Relaxes me and it makes me happy. BUT. After a few incidents I had to change my tune. One of the ladies I made a beautiful lacey crochet scarf for said she put it down on a chair at the bar and someone stole it, could I make another one for her. I did. That one she had to give to her sister because she wined it out of her hands. I told her that's too bad, no more free scarves for you. The other lady I crocheted a huge shawl for and she always draped it across her chair and it kept falling on the floor where she trampled on it. Then she lost it because she was a scatter brain and was always losing her stuff. So I put a stop to making them anything from then on. They just didn't appreciate it at all even though they saw me making them and knew the time and skill it took. I even tried teaching them but only one of the ladies actually took up knitting after that and then she told me how much she appreciated the craft and now she can see what goes into making something she can be proud of.
That's one thing I wanted to add. The other is I make a lot of charity items that end up in crisis centers, hospitals, given to homeless people and the elderly in care homes. When I make those items I add a lot of love in every single stitch and hope whoever gets them will feel it and will enjoy using it. And of course I make all kinds of things for myself. I use a huge variety of yarns too, from the cheapest acrylic to the $40 a hank merino and silk. Thank you for your time if you read this. Happy crafting.
Making things with love is the best. I am glad you have found a way to define your boundaries and enjoy your crafting time!
This is exactly what I needed to hear this week! Thank you so much :) got more tools in my pocket now to help say "no".
You got this!
barbara you give me strength!!! thank you for your amazing tutelage!!!
Thank you for watching!
I really appreciate this video because I've been mildly struggling with guilt. I'm knitting xmas gifts for my parents and best friend, but not my sister. She's just not knit worthy
Don't feel guilty. You're both better off if you get her something she'll like, and you don't feel your time has been wasted. It's also nice to remember that it's the gift that's not fully appreciated, not the love behind it.
Let go of the guilt. Not everyone is knit-worthy and that's okay. Unfortunately, learning who is and who isn't can sometimes be a painful process, but there are always clues.
No guilt!
Thanks so much for this video. It made me stop and think about my knitting and crocheting in a different way. One of my favorite things to do is make items for my grandchildren. I also enjoy making hats or blankets for newborns in our family. I have decided (with the help of your video) to cut back on making items for people I casually know and start make some things for myself!
Knit with love for those you love (including yourself)!
Perfect! I feel a bit justified. Thanks Barbara. I really hate when people at work would tell me I needed to knit them something. The ONLY time I won’t say no is to my grandchildren. Their parents (my kids) know exactly what it takes and are appreciative. They are still small so things knit up pretty quickly at this point.
You don't NEED to knit them nuttin!
Thank you for sharing such a delicate subject ... for years I give away! And when I turn 50 I decide to knit and crochet only for , husband and myself and my children only if they paid for NICE YARNS! Knit worthy! I never though of that before! I am definitely knit worthy! Blessing to you dear Barbara. 🧶🇨🇦🥰
I am glad you enjoyed it. You're right about it being a delicate subject, it could have gone wrong LOL.
So true, Barbara! I feel better about saying 'No', with no regrets. Thank you.
Fantastic, that was my hope for this video.
Love crocheting for others but only when i feel like it, never by request. My sister-in-law asked me for an incredibly complicated amigurumi and while i love making that sort of project i have been dragging this one out for 3 yrs now..... i initially agreed because i was flattered that she admired my work so much. Ive learned my lesson! I dont knit for anyone since i just learned and everything is a bit wonky yet and once i get good i will be keeping my skills secret hahaha. Thank you for all the great videos. I am really enjoying the learning process and your fantastic tutorials and yarny thoughts. I am watching them all even if they are way beyond my current skill level!
You'll get there soon enough, just enjoy the process! Crafting from the heart is a wonderful feeling.
@@WatchBarbaraKnit thanks to your videos i am!
“A. That’s crochet, B. NO” ... 😂 as someone who knits but would be clueless with a crochet hook I found that hilarious
I was wondering if anyone would catch that LOL!
As someone who crochets, that was awesome.
I never appreciated just how much time projects take until I tried to make them myself. My great grandma made a bed throw for my parents before she passed away, and while I've always thought it's been beautiful, it means so much more to me because I know how much time and love it must've taken her. My mom recently told me the same thing: she didn't realize how much it must've taken until she watched me craft. I think it's difficult to phantom how much time it takes if you don't do it yourself.
You are so right, and lucky to have that piece from your great grandma!
All you said is sooo true ! I Love the idea to make them do your dishes, haha ! Perfect to make people understand what your knitting is worth ! Non knitters often don’t realize what it takes to knit... And this is true for many other crafts too ! Thanks for this video 👌😆💙
I am glad it made sense to you! Sometimes I'm just like Am I just talking crazy?
Once again, you are speaking directly to the deepest recesses of my soul. :)
LOL. It must be a warm and fuzzy place.
@@WatchBarbaraKnit Filled with butterflies and unicorns!
I learned my lesson several years ago when I net a beautiful shell, beaded with psych weight yarn. Very complex for my grandson's bride! She definitely is not a girly girl, she is a cowgirl, a barrel racer! I should've had a clue! I will not ever do that again, lesson learned!
It is hard to separate what we want to give from what the recipient desires. You might end up knitting something you don't really want to knit LOL.
I am a dog groomer. There’s been so many times I’ve gone to see family and several people ask me if I brought my clippers so I could groom their dogs. NO!! I’m on vacation!!
That is ridiculous!
I'm am a licensed beautician. It was always beautyshop time
When at family gatherings. Sometimes still is. I really don't mind it as most of my family are very appreciative and need the added assistance. But.. I do not spend the whole day on hair. Its a first come first serve then, Boom, done!
I love my family and feel glad to help when I can.
That is so disrespectful to your time and talents. They should ask if you freelance and then be willing to pay. Especially cause you are a groomer and most the equipment you need to groom isn't portable.
I love knitting/crocheting for my family and friends. But hate being took advantage of. One of my DIL asked me to make my grand daughter a crocheted bunting for her bedroom wall. Loved making it. When she had my next grand daughter she 'assumed' I would happily make another for her room too. It wasn't would you mind or could you more no you can make one for her room now. I didn't make one. I made my new grand daughter a teddy bear with her initials on its feet. It was a point of principle to me -the bear probably took longer but I felt better. I was going to make the bunting before she mentioned it but was really annoyed at being taken for granted. Great video Barbara. xxJane
Being taken for granted is never a good feeling.
Thanks, Barbara, for your time and effort to make this video. I think all of us crafters encountered this. Knit worthy or not, that's the question XD
I was pretty sure it was universal LOL!
I have sewn my new winter coat. Mostly by hand, I piquéed the warmth layer (beautiful alpaca felt) to the outer layer so it fell nice, I tried some tailoring techniques so it would be nice and structured around the shoulders, I did a collar out of real lamb fur.
For three months I stitched at this thing, almlost dayly, and it shows. First comments:
"Oh, that looks nice! Can you make me one? I'll pay for the fabric"
It got very quiet after I told them I would at least require ar least 2k for something like this. And still I would be in the red because of the time.
Well, I work on my sewing for 15 years now, and I would love to teach what I know to people, but the "want" for the item is never big enough to actually learn and do something themselves.
I like to knit small items like socks and so on, and I like doing that for myself and my children/ husband, but other than my baby nieces I don't knit outside my little nuclear family. Just never worth the effort :(
That is absolutely amazing. People don't understand true couture.
Thank you for this blog. A niece of mine wanted me to knit for her Exclusively. My answer was No. She's continued to send me patterns to do. Some were crochet not knitted and some were not in english.
Seems like she is an optimist LOL!
I’ve only been asked to knit something for someone else a few times and I’ve responded “it would be even better if you made it yourself. I could teach you”. I didn’t get immediate responses but a few months later I’ve actually gotten interest and I’ve now taught them how to knit, they make their own things, and we have something to bond over!
Yay for enabling!
Thank you, Barbara ! I LOVE this video !
Thank you so much!
If I could con someone into doing my dishes while I'm knitting them socks, Honey, them socks will never ever ever be finished! 10 years from now he'll still be doing dishes, and I'll be all "I'm almost done with the first sock. Your legs are 25 feel long, right?" I knit Mom an ankle length dress, because she was always cold. She said thanks. A month later she asked if I could shorten it to a sweater. It made me happy to do it, because it was what she wanted, and it was worn much more than the dress would have been. I made someone else a hat. They said "You should have blah blah blah." I said, OK, let me have it back and I'll think about how to do that." They asked once how it was going, and I said "It turns out I can't do it that way." They never asked for the other hat back, and it had already gone to a homeless person anyway.
ETA: They can start right now - I've got yarn, needles, time AND a big ol' stack of dirty dishes!
Kitten WAW oh man. I knit for my kid and she is young enough to appreciate. As for my mom she always has a critique. I am currently knitting a bunch of stuff for my cousin and I hope she likes it. Moving forward I will focus on sweaters and socks for my self. 😁
@@annmariebusu9924 Yeah, the "You shoulda"s can weigh me down. My response is "Ok, that's how you can do it when you learn to knit." The response in my head anyway. I also try to remember that I've made or bought something for someone without their input, they aren't obligated to like it. I could have misjudged their taste, like the dear friend who gave me a gift, saying "You always wear such colorful clothes, but I noticed there's no orange in your wardrobe." - so I got a VERY orange shirt. There was a reason there was no orange in my wardrobe. Is your mom a crafter who uderstands the time and effort involved?
Kitten WAW 😂 orange is my favourite colour, I should have received that. It is not nice when you work hard and the person doesn’t like it. Let’s knit for ourselves or for someone unable to complain 😉
LOLOLOLOL
My supervisor had his first grandchild, and I delighted along with him as he showed me all the pics. I decided to knit a little dress for her for her 1st birthday and used the yarn I got in a knit crate subscription box (so no real investment in yarn). I knew that his wife and daughter were rather 'nose in the air' about the sorts of clothes the child wore, but I knit it anyway. My supervisor loved it and was touched and awed at my apparent skill. I told him that I didn't care if his wife and daughter hated it, I wanted 1 picture of the child wearing it and they could give it away after that. I did get the pic, and he said his wife did cry a little at the thought I cared enough to do something. I occasionally knit for friends, but I do not promise to be done in a certain time frame because well...life! I usually find the simplest of patterns--baby blankets!--because that dress I knit was my first lace AND my first real garment, so lesson learned! So far, overall, I've not been asked to knit for anyone, but thank you for giving us the courage to say, no.
What a lovely story! An example of everything working out perfectly!
All true, sadly. Good, sound, honest advice! 👍❣ I agree 100%. You have to know your audience. Thank you for your time and sage advice. 😉
You are so welcome
Letting go is so very important! And please don't "guilt" the person into keeping the item. I have been on both sides of this topic. I crocheted bed sized afgans for my mom and two sisters. I went to one sister's home and it was wadded up on the floor with the dogs walking all over it. I have never seen my other sister or my mom, when she was alive, use them. So I love them dearly, but I won't knit or crochet anything for them again. I am glad I made the afgans for them, and at the same time sad they did not recognize or appreciate the time I put into them.
On the other side of the topic one of my sisters makes me gifts every year. Last year she knit a sweater that is two sizes too small and in a color I really don't like; but I have learned that if a gift she gave me at any time in the past is not visible when she visits that says to her that I don't love her because I don't love and use what she made for me. I have tried suggesting food gifts or other things that can be used up due to lack of space, which has not been accepted so I feel stuck keeping items that don't fit me or my preferences so she does not think I don't love her because I don't use or display her gifts. Its very sad both ways.
Agreed, no guilt needed. That's why I said it is important to figure out if the person even wants what you are making!
I love your thinking - bartering LOve it! I should have listened to the whole video! a group of quilters (not me) made sailing blocks for a quilt to be auctioned off. the winner exclaimed it was for her dog!!!!!! ack!!! it was simply marvelous!
Oh man, I would have been super cranky.
Thank you Barbara. I do know people that are not knitworthy . Yes. No is a full sentence. I need to use this singular word sentence a lot more. Explanations are not necessary.
Have a great week.
That is an addendum, you are totally right that you don't owe anyone explanations or justifications. I just thought I'd add them for arguments sake LOL.
I only tend to have my paternal grandmother asking me to knit or crochet her things and often I will say yes because I know she appreciates them. The only time I'll say no is if she asks for socks because I am not a sock knitter and I want to get the practice in before I ever think about giving her a pair. Mostly, friends and family never know if I'm crocheting or knitting something for them so I don't have to worry about saying yes or no to them. I will make something in my own time, on my own accord, and that's the way it will stay.
If you enjoy the making and they enjoy the product then that is a win/win scenario!
You are so right! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thanks for watching!
Great topic! I’ve been caught out too, but my kids, grown up, all get socks for Christmas and now they look forward to them because they are so warm to wear, and tell me what colours they’d like them in. It’s great because I feel that they appreciate those gifts now, though they didn’t so much a few years ago ...
That is awesome!
Great advice video. I'm a selfish crafter. I made dog and cat blankets for years and enjoyed gifting them. Then lock down came along and they just had everyone doing it. I had a nice email advising me the they did not want any more, and I was hurt? I've also had people ask for things but I'm not good with that and feel uncomfortable saying no. But, after watching your video I can feel better about the 'no' word. ☺️
Your crafting time is YOURS and no one can co-opt it! If you like charity knitting there are all kinds of places out there. One of my favorites is the Red Scarf project, not blankets but similar: www.fc2success.org/programsmentoring-and-support/red-scarf-project/
@@WatchBarbaraKnit thanks for this, I will have to look for the same here in the UK 😊
I struggle with this! And my sister is definitely that big person.... you going be doing it anyway make me one...and the criticizes everything afterwards!!!
This is so tough, and it's hard to just accept that behavior as being part of a person you love, for better or worse.
@@KittenWAW it really is... and it ruins making stuff for her if I wanted to. And I love making thing but she ruins it
@@megdomangue5807 Keep the peace in your heart, and keep the love of crafting. I think it is totally her issue, and you don't need to pick up any part of it to carry around.
@@KittenWAW oh I won't stop crafting because of her... I just stop making things for her:p
You go girl...I love to make things for other people because I knit and Crochet and bobbinlace with love in every stitch.... and I have been exposed to people thinking I'm cheap...my mom was one, if I made her a gift... she never used it, yet if my sister went and paid someone to make something, Mom was extremely happy.... sorry my mom was my only example, I still loved her... hugs Lynn Weasenforth 💯💜💛💙🌹
Moms, they can be crazy making.
I said "no" to my best friend the other day. I usually say yes to her crafting requests (and sometimes regret it), but this time she wanted me to crochet a baby blanket out of some utterly horrible yarn - because she was having problems with it! - and to her credit, recognised how horrible it was and offered to pay. I said nooooo and am kind of proud of myself that I didn't even waver. The baby's getting a quilt, that I'm helping her make next week. XD
Go you! Stick to your guns.
Hahah this is aggressive!! I like it!
I usually just would say, "I don't want to that would literally take me X hours" (often sweater requests... 40-50 hours minimum). And that is the end of that. No math needed!
Some people need to be told .... forcefully LOL!
Great video. I have done projects that I really didn't want to but I didn't say No like I should have. I have since learned that word.
Excellent! You need to stick to it.
Thank-you!! I love and agree with your honesty xx
You are so welcome! I'm glad you liked the video!
I was asked many times to crochet. People do not have any clue how time consuming it is. I crochet and knit for pleasure and if I can sell crochet items already made, I am fine with it. Crocheting and knitting are physical therapies for me. My fans are home based: husband, kids and my family in Europe.
It's great to have fans!
Great Video! I make things only for my family because they value them. My gifts are mostly crochet because it’s much faster for me.
I love crochet - I'm just not very good at it LOL!
Great video! Thank you...🤗
Thanks for watching!
since i started knitting, my dad suggested two or three times that i knit my younger brother a sweater and that's definitely not something i'll ever do because on top on thinking he doesn't even want one, i see how he treats his clothes (including souvenir tshirts i brought him back from trips which i feel dumb for caring about but that still says a lot) and that makes me not want to waste time (or money bc ofc that'd be a generous gift lmao) on the man. it also took me almost a year to complete my first and so far only sweater /shakes fist at second sleeve.
i haven't had the occasion of getting asked by friends or colleagues for knits yet but thanks for the advice on pricing my time for when the day comes x)
Yeah, I would be wary of the younger brother thing too, I have one.
Since I have moved to southern Canada (Winnipeg) I have had many requests for knitted items and I quote the price (cost of yrn + labour)and they say too much...up North not a problem...I made the mistake at work to do one for a person quoted them the price ordered the yarn and got pd 50 for 150 dollars worth of yarn and they have not pd the difference for the cost of the yarn even so I dyed the yarn and am making something else with it...lesson learned do not do anything for people here...I make things for family and that is it...and people will ooh and aah over what I make and want it and I say will teach you how or quote a price and you you know the answer to that...love your pod cast
Man that sucks - lesson learned. Thank you for watching!
I loved this Barbara, I was shouting yes to every point you made. I've made Christmas gifts for people in the past and my mum and niece are th eobky ones I've seen wearing them. Now I only knit for my daughter (my sons don't seem to want hand knits anymore) and myself. I'd be willing to knit for others who are prepared to pay depending on the project.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video!
I crochet for others, knit for myself. I make crochet afghans using the yarns that are low cost and machine washable. When done, they're folded and set aside. I've had friends and family ooh and ahh over a blanket and I tell them to take one they like. I rarely have a stash of them because they're taken so fast! I do that because I love to do it.
Knitting on the other hand, is a slower process and I only do for me. No one asks and I don't offer! LOL I have a win win going on. 😁
I have friends who crochet who always say yes, but then they will whip up an entire throw in just one or two evenings, where I would spend 4 or 5 or even more times as long to make the same square feet of fabric. I sort of envy the speed of crochet. 😄
Crochet is 100% the way to go with blankets and stuff. So much faster.
Thanks for this message I needed that 💞
My Pleasure.
This was just what we needed to hear. Thank you.
Perfect!
This year I am making things for Xmas again,but instead of giving what I think they might like,I block and bag and its all going in a big box and they can pick.I think everyone makes out that way...great video..thx Barbara👍🤗🧶❣
That's a great idea!
How I am approached depends on how polite my answer is. But usually somewhere in my answer is the phrase, “I no longer accept commissions.” That phrase alone takes the interaction from bored retiree to artist/craftswoman. I have a friend for whom I do knit. I explained “knit worthy” to her and she was absolutely thrilled that I thought her that way. Even with her I never commit myself, I find out what she would like and if I chose to make the item, I make it and gift the item to her, on my time schedule. If the person mentions buying yarn and or paying me, I’ll laugh stick out a foot and say, “These plain Jane socks cost just under $30 for yarn alone and I skimped on length to make that budget cut off. And that doesn’t even count the week of my life I used to make them.” Now on the other hand I’ll knit hundreds of kid’s hats each year and give them away. But in that situation, there are no expectation and an abundance of appreciation.
Knitting when you WANT to is totally different than knitting because you HAVE to.
I'm in the "I'll teach you to knit" club, before I'll knit something for them. They have to at least try for a good amount of time. I'm good with knitting for close family & friends that are knitworthy. Using this approach they at least have an idea of what time and skill is required, and that usually makes them more appreciative of the knitted item. I also make sure that they know that I'm literally thinking of them while knitting the item. I find that this almost guarantees that they will 1) wear & appreciate the item, & 2) they will be thinking of me thinking of them while I was making the item.
The ones that do get me are the people that say "you could sell that for ....." (insert way below the yarn cost, let alone the time) . They mean well, just have no clue. I just nicely inform them of the reality. That usually results in jaw dropping silence. LOL
Mental note of knitworthy = levels of knitworthy: 1) Absolutely anything 2) You get to choose the color or thing 3) You can get random hat, mitts, cowl on request 4) I love you, here's a gift card, buy what you want 5)No way, not ever for any amount of money.
LOL! I love your levels.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you for the video!🙂 I want to share it on my Facebook feed, but feel like they still wouldn't get it, and might take it the wrong way! 🤷♀️
Share it anyway! What's the worst thing that could happen, someone WOULDN'T ask you for something LOL!
Hi. Hello. Howdy. Thank you for sharing. This can also relate to other subjects.
Absolutely!
words of wisdom...exactly my opinio about that matter! 😁
I am glad you enjoyed the video.
I've been knitting for other people this summer as I've found patterns I want to try but can't afford the yarn and wouldn't wear. These are all "knitworthy" people who do not complain about the $150 cost of yarn. I chose the yarn, but they chose colorway.
The "you could sell this" is always amusing. Sure, a $300 sweater. Right.
Great video.
That is a great approach!
I agree with you Barbara this takes time and patients so I can’t just say yes when I know you’re not going to a appreciate or value what I spent my time doing for you and b having you just give it to goodwill later.🏴☠️
When I have heard the goodwill stories it just breaks my heart and makes me angry at the same time LOL.
When I decided to knit something for my new DIL, I picked something I liked, wanted to knit and could wear if she didn’t like it. I made the beautiful Lady of the Valley Vest. When I gave it to her, I told her that if it wasn’t something she would wear, I would not be offended if she didn’t take it since I had others who could use it, so don’t take it to be nice and put it away in a drawer. She told me it was pretty but didn’t fit her style so I gladly took it home and I wear it. Now I only knit for family if they pick out the pattern and together we decide on the yarn. Works out great.
That is the perfect way to do it!
So you gave a gift to someone you deliberately made to fit your style and not hers so she wouldn't accept it and you could keep it to yourself? I say don't even bother offering people gifts. This is not how you give a gift to someone. So rude.
@@woolrules Just because we could both wear the same size item does not mean I didn’t want her to have it. Since she was married to my son for less than a year I was not completely aware of her “style”. I actually thought she would like it. Don’t judge if you don’t know me or my intentions.
@@denisecoit7675 You literally said you picked something YOU liked and would wear it if she didn't like it. I don't think I have judged you without knowing your intentions.
@@woolrules I am glad for you that you have such excellent insight into other people's minds. May God bless you.
Exactly! Thank you.
You bet!
😊. It’s all true! I get that a lot and I crochet 🧶. TFS!
It is definitely not knitting specific lol!
I have bartered for my knitted socks with my cleaning lady!!! It did get to a point though that all I was doing was knitting for her as she only spent 4 hours cleaning my house and between working full time, etc. and life it took me a lot longer to knit her socks than it did for her to clean my house. Now we are just back to cash! LOL!!!
Whatever works for you!
Barbara you've got to stop tempting me! lol I'm still not done with Spirit & Opportunity and I love your Unheeded Warnings.
I can't help it LOL!
Thank you so much for doing this video!!! I have been in some of those situations and what you have discussed is very helpful. And I just hope to be able to remember them when it comes up again. Lol!
You could just bookmark this video & send them the link. I’ll happily explain it to them for you LOL!
Excellent information.
Glad it was helpful!
Great topic and video Barbara! Thanks for talking about this. BTW, what is the name of the beautiful shawl behind you? 💜🙏🏼
That is Unheeded Warnings, there is a link in the description notes to it!
Wow, Silent shawl holder shawl looks great but would you consider doing a similar pattern with mosaic crochet?
I'm afraid I don't design crochet patterns, and I barely crochet at all LOL!
Amen sister!
I'm kinda preaching to the choir, eh?
@@WatchBarbaraKnit Hahaha! I am listening
Making A Good Scarf your pattern making for a friend and then one for me. I ordered DK yarn from Kraemer yarn. Easy knit when I am too tired to do socks. You are so funny 😂
I have to say it is a great pattern for not thinking too much LOL!
Totally unrelated, your hair looks really nice. Lol
Thank you so much, it is really getting out of control. I don't think I've gotten it cut in over a year.
Awesome video!
Glad you enjoyed it
Thank you for this video.
Glad it was helpful!
Lovely. I am good with gifting or donation but do not like making to order. But my donations are all crochet (1/2 - 1/4 the time put in). Knitting is all for me.
Crochet is certainly more efficient LOL!
I only knit because it’s fun. If not there is no knitting.period! I knit for people I love (they also appreciate hand knit).
That's awesome!
Used to make Xmas stocking but not anymore. One girl said "boy your prices went up" that was it. There r some knit worthy people I know but definitely not my son or sister.
Stockings can be so time consuming and intricate, plus they are heirlooms. Working in several yarn stores I've had multiple "customers" come in with something their grandmother made and they want someone to make a matching one for a new family member. They don't have patterns, they just expect a knitter to look at it and be able to duplicate it with changes to the name. And they are always surprised when someone in the store doesn't jump at the chance to make $50 for something so easy.
i laugh when i post things i made and some random friend sends me something they like and say can you make this. i say yeah but you can buy it cheaper at the store. especially an afghan or other huge project like a sweater. i am nobody's personal crafter. i am an artist and i have an artist attitude.
The artist attitude is awesome!
I don’t think I have ever knitted, or crocheted something just for myself... I really am not acwearer of hats, or scarves, etc. I am thinking of crocheting myself a bug, comfy shawl, though.. And I have a couple of small quilts that are mine.
I have no real interest in knitting sweaters or socks...for myself, or anyone else🥺. I’m way too slow fir sweaters, and my vision won’t take socks,,
I love to knit for charity.. It’s so much fun to create tiny blankets and teeny weeny hats for the NICU: or for our precious “ Angel babies”.. .. I crochet,,,or knit...prayer shawls for people I know need them.
If I knit, or crochet an item for a friend, or relative...as a gift...and I can tell that they have no idea how much of myself went into every stitch, that’s the last thing I will make for that person. After that, I just buy them something I know they will love, Same thing with quilts...though I had to give quilting up.
Knitting, crocheting, snd quilting for others is.....something that definitely comes from your heart.
It’s a special way of expressing your love, or admiration , for someone. Most people are very appreciative..
One thing... It really is work when you are working on a project you plan to give to someone, and you really don’t like the yarn, or the colorway of the yarn.. Working with yarns and colors you love is a big deal...At least it’s is for me.
I can’t afford high end yarn...but I make sure to use beautiful colors...because I believe that color is the most important element in any project.....
Thanks for treating a very important topic. Learning to say “ no” is a good thing to do. I admit to not being very good at it, 🥺🥺.
I
One of the thungs I like about knitting, or crocheting for charity, is that there are generally no deadlines, and nithung has to fit... NO PRESSURE..Just the pleasure of creating . 👍
I tried really hard to make it clear that if you actually want to knit for others, charities, what have you ... that is awesome. As a process knitter who likes making the thing more than having the thing - having the ability to not have boxes full of finished items is awesome LOL! I'm glad you've found the thing that makes you happy.
I learned how to do that decades ago!! I ran the math for some items and they backed off HAHAHAHAHA
Like sewing...you'll see someone posting that they "just" need a dress hemmed; well, there's the fitting (if done properly) and the prepping and the sewing (if by hand); when you tell them it's $60 (my mother seamstress used to charge that much in 1980!!!);lots of TIME..... = money LOL
It's fun having talents that lots of others don't know!
Excellent plan!
peach it girl!
Thank you! Also, I am absolutely loving your minor typo. I'm totally gonna peach it LOL! 😉
Hey Barbara I was wondering what is your opinion on men wearing shawls. Is there such a thing as men shawls? Always love your videos, keep it up.
100% men can wear shawls if it fits their style and you can find shawls that are more aimed a the unisex crowd!
This video was perfect for me. I made a beautiful white lace shawl for my best friend that I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to give it to her and her response was "Oh great, I can use this to cover my legs at night while I'm driving my school bus...". She then proceeded to wad it up and chuck it on her couch. NOT knit worthy.
I am so sorry that your work was disrespected. She is OFF THE LIST.