Know anyone who can talk about the effect of family disintegration on these cluster B traits? It looks to me like this and social media maybe reinforce each other.
all of these personality disorders were fostered and grown on tumblr. I know tumblr is dead now, but it was in its prime ten years ago. those teenagers then are voters now. what are the activities that tumblr promotes? catastrophizing, self-diagnosis, viewing ones self as a victim, aggrandizement, mob behavior, witchhunts. etc. etc. etc.
Thank god, because I was disappointed that this man turned out to be only somebody who has experienced instead of properly studied. I think there are too many people like that on the internet, which makes it difficult to know who actually has a point and who just wants to make one based on no knowledge at all.
I feel massively vindicated. Was involved with a borderline girl in my late teens/early 20's. She aggressively asserted on social media that she was a lesbian (pride flags and all), but this didn't stop us from meeting up late at night and having a traditional hetero relationship. Later on I started frequenting borderline support groups as she was emotionally abusive and just really awful to deal with. And that's when I found this rabbit hole. At least once a week I would see a thread describing the exact same thing I experienced - "my girlfriend has suddenly decided she is gay and an LGBT rights activist." Over and over again like clockwork. People would describe their partners with BPD turning into insufferable rageaholics who were obsessed with social activism and made it their entire personality both online and off. If it wasn't LGBT stuff, it was feminism, Trump, abortion rights, pretty much any left-wing social media "thing." Then when the trans stuff became mainstream, "my girlfriend has meltdowns if I don't use the right pronouns." On these obscure little subreddits, we ALL connected the dots and figured out what was going on. There was pretty much a direct correlation between woke activism and personality disorders. What was funny is how moderators would occasionally step in and lock the threads because they were getting "too political." But in reality it was just boyfriends and husbands and moms/dads of those with personality disorders, spotting an obvious pattern. Woke activism, whether it be on social media or in real life, consists almost entirely of mentally unstable people. When you support these causes, you are more than likely giving attention to people who should be institutionalized, or in some cases, already have been.
Think of Marla Singer from fight club and the nameless protagonist: delusional borderlines who hijack “causes” to soak up sympathy and drama and vent their negative emotions. Sorry you went through that mate.
You've just encapsulated the last 10 years. Well done! You should reach out to Josh Slocum and get on his podcast. The good news is that, for the rest of your life, you'll be on the lookout for the warning signs of those types of women.
Im so sry you ran into one of us at all... this is why I isolate myself from society and dating - I just end up hurting people even tho im self aware, take meds and go to therapy. :( at least you didnt breed with her. If it helps, not all of us are left wing looneys :) im prty conservative politically, even more so the past few years.
I spent 23 years in an abusive relationship that slowly stole my spirit. When the BLM riots kicked off and the media started to report on white supremacy, right wingers and racism, I had an uneasy feeling that I couldn't name. Within 2 weeks I knew that feeling was a nation being gaslighted. People in power, telling me who and what I am, based on their own twisted thinking, not my behavior.
Identical to my experience - after 10 years of living with and another five co-parenting with a narcissist. The whole BLM thing really made my skin crawl.
Realizing that my ex (and mother of my kids) is a narcissist, was positively life changing. Knowing what you're up against will not make your life a bed of roses, but certainly easier to navigate. My advice: - If you don't have kids, leave! And break all contact. - If you have kids, go "grey stone" on her/him - don't meet in person, answer e-mails/SMS with "yes" or "no". Be boring and non-personal. - Don't EVER put yourself in a position of dependency - it will be exploited mercilessly. - Don't ever get into an argument with her/him. - Don't let her/him provoke you - it's just bait to get you into a fight. It will be used against you. - Be prepared to lose friends, learn to live with the fact that your reputation (in some quarters) is tarnished beyond repair. - Don't try to explain to people that she/he has already won over - it will only make you look worse. - Find out who your real friends are and cherish them.
Sorry but even if you have children you should run away from this person. Either taking children with you or leaving them to this person, but the latter is terrible. Children are not a MISTAKE that happens and your entire life is chained with a person who is a psycho. Children should not be raised in delusion. Their life is also severely affected by the narcissist parent and the delusion... they need to be protected. It is ok to separate them from this person.
@@ipercalisse579 That sounds really simple: Just take the kids and leave. There are laws concerning that. Maybe I should call the police and convince them that my ex is a narc? Get real, man! What's more, no two circumstances are identical. The "best" way I can keep my kids safe (and an eye on the bitch) is by staying in the vicinity. The day my youngest boy turns 18 (in five years), I'm gone.
The whole society has a personality disorder: Narcissism. There's no common values anymore so everything revolves around the self. There's also hyperliberalism - if someone thinks they can be someone else (gender ideology) you are not allowed to criticize it because anything goes which is also part of the lack of humanist values.
victimhood identity disorder was created by joseph stalin and it was what caused the Bolshevik revolution which was a civil war and it seems like the same thing thats being done to people all over the world. its an attempt to divide and conquer and turn traumatized people against each other, like raging against the Cluster B type people when we basically have no right to go near them and if we did we would be acting just like how they do and wed be hypocrites. all ya can do is have conversations with them and try to keep things peaceful
I think there’s another factor with the “people think they can be any gender (or any thing) they want” regardless of reality or biology. It seems to be related to a wishy-washy, barely defined “spirituality” that’s practiced in a half-assed, narcissistic way, maybe related to ideas that came to the fore in that book The Secret. It’s people with no grounding, no set morality, pushing ideas that “reality can be whatever you feel and want.” It’s a denial of the scientific consensus and established cultural ideas in favor of an individual delusion. I see a lot of this in this gender context and it can be seen on full display in the What Is A Woman? documentary everyone is talking about.
As someone who came from a very Leftwing, Marxist family, and who had a father with narcissstic personality disorder, I am amazed by the extent to which leftwing ideas lend themselves to this personality disorder. Thank you for doing this show, it is completely accurate.
I too am a progressive lefty who has a narc/borderline mother and sociopathic step father who has a finely tuned radar for cluster B types. I have no patience for the legitimization or even praise for such destructive personality types that the woke exhibit or are sympathetic to. Cluster B people are master manipulators and social media has given then a very powerful platform to gain the sympathy of millions who demand society to be drastically altered by catering to the neurotic whims of Cluster B people.
Yes left wing culture unthinkingly grants power and support to anyone with a sympathetic identity claiming victimhood & vulnerability. Left wing psychology is pathologically altruistic and empathetic. This is the perfect Petrie dish for manipulative tantrums, narcissism, histrionics and DARVO. All symptoms of personality disorders but incentivized in otherwise healthy individuals by the power structures of our institutions, the incentives of or empathetic culture and the secular mores of a post Christian liberal democracy.
@@honestjohn6418 In my view it's not the case that leftwingism is always pathalogically altruistic. Quite often there is no altruism at all - what I saw in the sample I was exposed to what that they were full of hate and they needed somewhere to put it. They rationalised that hate - usually of those richer and more talented than themselves - as love "for the poor" or [insert victim group]. T BLM in the UK, as an example, concerns itself with black lives only when the white establishment can be attacked, which is why they are obsessed with sporadic killings by policemen in America, but entirely indifferent to the mass beheadings happening in Northern Mozambique weekly.
Exact same experience as you Josh!! Grew up poor, meant to caretake, verbal and emotional abuse, multiple stepfathers who treated me like a maid, mom diagnosed with bipolar, etc. I could have been a victim but I got good grades, did music and art and told myself I would never be like my mother or my family. I think this inoculated me to the woke crap that was pushed on me because I believe in personal responsibility!
Since this video is 9 months old, very few if anyone will see this comment, but I'll write it anyway. A while back, at the end of a semester in graduate school, I was invited to a party being thrown by some of the folks in one of my classes. All of these folks were younger than myself, but that didn't seem to matter to them, nor did it matter to me. I was looking forward to getting to know these folks better outside of the classroom setting, and maybe make some amicable acquaintances. There were also lots of folks there who weren't part of our classes or our department, and approximately 20 - 25 folks in all. The party turned out to be quite an interesting experience for me. Fairly early on in the evening, a subtle, but apparently commonly accepted process began, obliquely at first, starting with one person, but then snowballing into a group event with approximately 97% of the people participating, where folks began to metaphorically drop trow, so to speak, and, in varying ways and degrees, compare various metaphorical penises. In no particular order, those comparisons were: mental disorder/illness diagnoses; medications they took to ameliorate or control those disorders/illnesses (their side-effects, what worked for some, and what didn't); and stories of childhood, adolescent, and young adult abuse and trauma, et al. Some folks openly “shared” their histories, etc., while others had those things alluded to or related in some detail to the group by others. Eventually, judging from everyone’s expressions, micro-expressions, body language, verbal language, and general behaviors toward each other, it began to seem as though this process was a means of establishing everyone's credentials of pain, and victimhood, etc., and through those things, their virtue points, leading to some kind of hierarchical pecking order. On one end of the spectrum, the most virtue points seemed to be awarded to non-white females, while, at the other end of the virtue spectrum, points were deducted from white males. Part of the process included self-identifying one's gender and sexual orientation, with non-white, "non-binary," trans, or "gender fluid" folks of the Alphabet+ group being given the highest virtue points, and self-declared, straight, white males, again having virtue points deducted. Interestingly, self-declared straight, white, male, "incels" got more virtue points than just plain, old SWMs. After the process had finally run its course, those who seemed to have earned the highest amount of virtue points began to assume a subtle air of quasi erudition and authority. When they talked, those who were lower on the hierarchy dutifully and deferentially listened, no matter how inane, vapid, or bone-headed the person was being. An interesting side note is that, later in the evening, I began to notice a stringy-haired, sickly-looking, “gender-fluid, poly-amorous” girl making what seemed to be "intimacy" rounds with her various partners at the party. She spent time talking to, holding hands with, and/or cuddling and kissing one person, and then eventually moved on to repeat the process with someone else. From the time I noticed this, she interacted with four different people in such a way. At one point, I noticed that an "incel" guy kept looking over at her as if he had a big chip on his shoulder about something. Whenever she caught him looking at her, she'd lean into whoever she was with, and whisper something to him/her, apparently in an attempt to piss the "incel" guy off. I don’t know if this is the way folks do things now, but It was the weirdest damned "party" I've ever been to.
How strange 😂 Not a fan of parties in general but if this is what they’re going to become it looks like I’m not missing out on much. Rather grab some beer, a couple of kayaks, and hang out on the water. Way more relaxing.
I am a psychologist and personality disorder is my main interest. The most obvious evidence of PD behaviour is the whole trans thing, with studies showing roughly half of them meet the diagnostic level for a PD. Many others will have traits but not enough for clinical threshold to be met. Its also explains why its almost impossible to engage them in normal debate and the aggression they use against those who disagree with their views. Because clinical psychology in the main has failed in terms of curing people from these issues, its far easier for the clinicians to see their disorder as a legitimate identity, this means their treatment is no longer judged on the basis of removing the disorder, they encourage the patients to lean into it instead. It keeps them in a job which has very little to show for it in terms of positive clinical outcomes. Of course none of these clinicians are medically trained and they read social theory instead of medicine.
Also the only psychologists/therapists who will work with gender dysphoria are those who believe in transitioning. Most therapists (myself included) wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. So even if they seek therapy these people are kept in an echo chamber.
And any legitimate discussion or merely inquiring about the validity of the their claims is met with "TRANSPHOBE!!!" "TERF!!!!!!" There's no room for discussion. They own the "truth" and anything contrary is hate speech.
@@lynncrf nowadays, one can find a professional who supports and enables one's delusional and dysfunctional thinking. Many professionals are also pressured into enabling the delusions, lest they be called out for be a __________-phobe and lose their livelihoods.
@@jzen1455 In a way, yes. However, as a therapist you can easily refer a client on. I wouldn't go near gender dysphoria as I think people should only transition once they are over the age of 30 and after years of intense therapy. It's a serious operation with a 67% complication rate and the detrans subreddit on Reddit is heartbreaking.
Like wise. I would add that trauma without PDs is also lumped in there, coupled with weak characters (blaming/lashing out instead of emotional maturity). I also found these people abusing the subtletly in our relationships with one another. Feminists to men, far left LGBTQ to the mainstream compassion etc. You're right - ideology is not only a weapon, it's a shield.
The defective personality does tend to gravitate to that Ideology. I would say that Ideology is nothing more than defective personalities trying to validate their psychopathy.
It's the same thing with religion. ANY religion. Take a genuine Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Athiest, Trans, whatever religion someone subscribes to, and if they are genuine, they will treat you the way they want to be treated. But take anyone from any religion, who has a defective personality, and they will weaponize whatever obscure facet of their religion they can to abuse you and take what they want from you.
I watched this gentleman’s Benjamin Boyce interview before this popped up in my feed (thx algorithm!) and as a survivor (victim no longer) or narcissistic abuse, from childhood into my late 20’s, I can say that this is one of the most insidious types of abuse to recover from. You experience it in childhood, it literally warps your mind to seek out more people like your abusive parent to fill up your life with. People who get out are lucky, hearing these stories expands the potential of reaching and liberating other abused people. I love this interview, I love the guest, and I am SO happy people are talking about this seriously now. One of the things that protected my abuser from scrutiny is that I didn’t have the language or tools to describe what was going on. These types of talks & deep-dives really have the capacity to HEAL. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my ♡.
This explains the changes in people I know so much, obsession with identity and victimhood it feeds into a positive feedback loop that socially rewards people.
I have a close (well, once close) family member who has changed so much I don't even recognize her as the person she once was. She's on the verge of being estranged from both siblings and parents.
Recent published research in Psychology has confirmed that the Authoritarian Woke disproportionately exhibit the Dark Triad personality traits (Machiavellianism, narcissism (esp high entitlement), psychopathy) ... to all intents & purposes, Cluster B. For those of us on the Left who are anti-Woke & anti-elitist, this has been pretty bloody obvious for years ... the unhinged aggression & abuse ... the forcing of everyone to tiptoe on eggshells around them ... we're witnessing the capture of Left-leaning organisations by affluent, narcissistic control-freaks possessing a very crude, distorted view of reality.
Thank you for you work, Richard. I find you very helpful too. You helped me address myself rather than deflect. You're very stern and straight, which is needed. Nicely nicely doesn't always ring through and can incourage the victim mentality. Thanks 😊 🙏 ❤
Richard's channels and courses have been essential in my healing from narc abuse and trauma bonding, can't thank you enough. Also Sam Vaknin goes very deep, his covert borderline analysis/synthesis describes my ex girlfriend better than anything else, a catch all that includes all cluster B types, and may be why many NPD's are diagnosed as borderline.
Society here in Abbotsford, Canada, has lost all sense of politeness. As the visitor pointed out, these people seem to feel that everyone is part of a dysfunctional family and they have a right to impose their moods upon the public.
I wish that I could like this interview 100 times. Josh really articulated something that I had been thinking for a long time. In fact I have heard quite a few people throw this idea around but no one has explained it so clearly before. All I know is if someone is calling *me* a bigot because I wont look at a 6'2 man with a full beard in a sundress & call him a woman, I am not the one with the personality disorder here.
This is basically the reason why I included the following paragraph in my letter yesterday to my new pension providers:- "Secondly, I have adopted a policy of zero tolerance for wokeness in my dealings with all corporate, governmental, arts & cultural, educational, and other organizations. Accordingly, any attempt to introduce tenets of gender ideology, critical race theory, or any other fashionable nonsense into our business relationship will result in its immediate termination."
The more BLM, TRANSWOMEN ARE WOMEN, Gender pronoun, no person is illegal, etc crap a corporation espouses, they more toxic behaviors they're willing tolerate. They are essentially telling their employees "We foster and encourage bullying and controlling behaviors but only if they are in alignment with all the woke ideals"
I've always found very religious people to be both narcissistic and toxic. I lost several childhood friends to the excessive religiosity. Just as annoying and oppressive as any woke person I've ever met.
@bobnewsdog did any of them ever try to get you fired from your job or organize an internet mob to dredge the internet for instances of wrongthink to use to ruin your reputation, marriage and life?
@@bobnewsdog Woke ideology is being treated like a religion and I agree there are similarities. It's a lot to do with authoritarianism, which can be perpetuated by both the far left and far right.
@@ello8116 Tyranny is always relative. Desegregating America's school was a huge fighting. The parental input of many white parents was they did not want their white children mixing with black children. It was "tyranny".
I was quite left-leaning for a while, but never felt really comfortable embracing all the wokeness because it felt performative and self-centered. Now I see why I felt that way…. Because it is!
I had all the classic psychological hallmarks of being a "woke liberal" as a young adult - I was depressed, anxious, had bipolar tendencies, and personality disorder and narcissistic tendencies. When I started healing myself through modalities like inner child healing, etc. all of the feelings of victimhood, anger went away along with my depression and anxiety. I also at one point called myself non-binary (before it was even cool) because I hated women and didn't want to be around them and I associated mostly with men as a female. I was gender-confused... that also went away after I healed my mother-father wounds. I feel like people gravitate to ideologies that justify their mental/emotional illnesses.
I know it's been a very long time, but if you feel comfortable naming or explaining which processes you followed to let go of the hurt I'd be very thankful. I think I am going through a similar situation, where all the pain caused by others during my childhood is causing me to act in a similar, narcissistic way. If you see this, thanks.
We need to start conveying the message that: being victimised is nobody's fault or choice, but being a victim is a personal choice. We need to destigmatise the act of being victimised ("having harm done against you is not your fault"), but we need to re-stigmatise the act of being a victim (the act of choosing to use your victimisation as an excuse and justification for bad decisions and bad behaviour).
Perfect way of articulating this concept, thankyou. It’s hard for young people to fully grasp this nuance until they’re lived through the distinction. I couldn’t understand this until my mid twenties, unfortunately. Younger kids certainly need a level of sympathy and love. After being a teenager though, viewing oneself as a victim, even if one is the most worthy victim, hobbles a person’s power. It’s so hard to understand this lost power until you look backwards. People have tremendous power to do wonderful things. Telling anyone that they’re doomed from the start due to some personal trait is tragic. The ultimate self fulfilling prophecy
We used to understand this. I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. One of the first things in therapy is to think of yourself as a survivor instead of victim because that's the first step in taking power back from the abuser. It's one of the most important ones. Once you get that into your frame of mind, you're able to stop blaming yourself and stop reacting to what happened so you take back control of your life. Now everything is just affirming how someone feels rather than really helping them deal with it.
When I found that an empathetic-narcissist was a thing, my immediate past relationship (and several work colleagues) made complete sense. They look so compassionate and engaging on the surface, but are destructive emotional blackholes when you get close enough to see Oz behind the curtain.
Yes, they are skilled in putting up a front / a false persona to draw you in to their dysfunctional universe... They need you more than you need them. It's about winning, scoring points, getting a rise and vindication at any cost. They are desperately and pathologically insecure and hollow people with zero redeeming features
@@Madonnalitta1 true. She had an awful childhood with a barely together mum and a dad that took off. When I realised that she was the way she was, hard wired to be defensive and pretty much looking out for herself, the confusing and anger dissipated, but I was resolute that we had to end. She morphed almost immediately (we had lived together 7 years and I thought we were a forever thing) and had moved on successfully to a new relationship almost immediately And your right - there was a super competitiveness with me if all people that I could never understand. And she hated me being better at anything.. anyway, can spot a similar one a mile off now
@@clungebucket23 a few years ago I would’ve said ‘that’s a bit harsh’ but your post has a lot of validity from my experiences. I guess I didn’t realise how deep her issues went till after I moved in and she started dropping her best behaviour She was very successful at her job (which I helped her get and then advance), funny, urbane, very sharp and observant. People were / are drawn to her. She is super aware of her physical attractiveness, but plays at down playing it (which at the beginning was an even more attractive trait if hers… little did i know) People love her. Everyone loves her. Anyway, I slowly realised that she in fact really didn’t give a toss about me, really . She acted as if she did. She was a vortex. But - she had a very emotionally unstable childhood. I could sender fight or flight responses to life. There was nothing I could do to help her rewire. I hope she finds real peace….. just far far away from me :🙂
My ex sister in law is a classic Cluster B. Her children were turned inside out by her as was my brother. Her crazed manipulation and viciousness knew no bounds. She got enormous pleasure from seeing us all emotionally demolished when she pulled one of her hideous manoeuvres to gain control or attention which she did to greatest effect whenever we went on holiday, had birthdays, christmas, Easter - any time where she could maximum misery. I do not feel sorry for these people. I am sick to death of dealing with humans like her. I had an Aunt who had extreme narcissistic disorder, and a stepfather who was a violent sociopath not to mention a brother who also had some cruel ego maniacal issue going on (yet to be defined). And now we live in a society where they are ten a bloody penny destroying our culture too. These people wreck our lives and wreck society . My advice if you have the misfortune of meeting one ..run for the hills and don't look back.
Having grown up in a Cluster B household, I've developed a very keen ability to identify early on. Oftentimes, I'm the only one or one of a tiny few of a group who can clearly see it while many others are oblivious to it. I try to be careful about brining it up (if at all) because oftentimes others become suspicious of me for being the crazy one as others may only notice the nice masked version of the Cluster B person or they brush off the red flags as "quirks" or overlook them because they are under the spell of their charisma. I agree, I do all I can to get away from the person. And if you try to "fix" their behaviors, good luck with that. Once categorize you as the enemy, they will go on a long campaign to slander you and destroy your reputation.
Thank you SO much for your comment. My DIL is a classic Cluster B, and for many years we could not figure out the behavior, especially on all holidays and special occasions where we have been merely tolerated and some of us completely ignored. I have lost so many nights sleep over it over the years. We have only ever tried to be warm and welcoming, but we have never measured up to be treated nicely in return. Believe me when I tell you we don't expect much. A smile, a kind word, or not to be ignored would be nice. We all cringe when she yells at the kids, but we're on eggshells so she doesn't cut us off from them completely. After 12 years, it's such a relief to learn about this. We cannot fix it, and we would certainly run for the hills if we could. For now, it is helping me immensely to educate myself on the matter and to know I am not alone. Take care.
My father grew up with a "Mommie Dearest" mother in the 50s, and he became a tamer version of her. I did not understand him until my 30s when I learned from a psychologist that he was a "vulnerable narcissist". So I am *very* familiar with their traits and behaviors. I agree that the woke definitely possess some of these traits and behaviors. But they have also turned it into something akin to a religion. It is a scary beast.
It *is* a religion. Unfortunately it hasn't been recognised officially by the state, which it needs to be in order to separate them. The holy trinity is Diversity, equity & inclusion. JP repeatedly states that we have a religious instinct and that involves worship, looking up to someone or something as an ideal to strive towards and emulate. If it's not god then it'll be someone/something else. For some it'll be a celebrity or wealth/status. For others it'll be environmentalism/climate change. They are no different from the crazies wearing sandwich boards with "the end of the world is nigh" in the 1970s. Back then we were aware of environmentalism via Greenpeace but considered them doolally. Thanks to them and MSM alarmism over Chernobyl etc nuclear power was abandoned. The activists don't want solutions, they want deprivation and poverty to atone for their sins. The 'looking up' part of religion is always good in that it encourages beneficial behaviour but the 'looking down' part is always toxic and is the reason people reject religion.
@@frosksdeadteeth5163 i have to disagree: for the most part, they do not want to suffer and atone for their sins: they want the rest of the world to suffer and and atone for their sins against the wokesters.
Cluster b's often run in families. Narcissistic personality disorder often produces a borderline child ,and a borderline often produces a narcissist, and of course, a person can be comorbid. My ex was bpd and after listening to hours of stuff on it, I realised his mother is npd. Their relationship is cringy. No boundaries. His mummy is his wife and always will be. She manipulates him by having raised him to be a dependent baby, but when he does something she doesn't like or a partner gets in her way too much, she makes his life hell and threatens to cut him off, and out "the family" she runs, which sends him into panic (like telling a 5 year old you won't look after them anymore, they'd not cope they'd be terrified). Cluster bs are formed via unhealthy attachments in the first so many years of life. That could be suffocating the child and not letting it become independent from you at the correct stages ,or the opposite and giving neglect. With the narcissist parent, they have been prevented from fornimg their own identity, they have to be an extension of the parent rather than an entity in their own right. Either way, a narcissist mummy won't emotionally meet the needs of the child. Yet creating the illusion to others and often the child ,that they are an amazing mother. All sinister stuff.
Gents, I’d not come across Josh Slocum before but thoroughly enjoyed the discussion. I found it so relevant in trying to understand the world we now find ourselves in. Many thanks for having him on the show.
I see a lot of people defending BPD and other personality disorder lately, and I get that you feel the need to defend yourself and those you see as your people. However I think people have a right to protect themselves and their families even if that makes them seem mean or judgmental. I recommend the book Dangerous Personalities by Navarro. It’s not politically correct or steeped in academics, it’s designed for layman to read and use to protect themselves. You don’t have to let people rampage all over your life to be a nice person.
Having BPD doesn’t absolve anyone of their moral responsibilities and we mustn’t let woketivists convince us otherwise by brow beating people with the “mental health” stick. None of these PDs are actual “illnesses” that’s the first deception upon which all the others are built.
But BPD is a highly stigmatized diagnoses. Also there is not just one type. I have Quiet type. (meaning I attack myself essentially). Neurotypical people often get scared of what they don't understand and I believe that we need to have healthier constructive conversations and better treatment. I look at the world lately and get so depressed and frustrated. I have pretty much lost all my friends over the past two years. No one will return my calls and I haven't done anything to them. Now with the AMBER heard and all this woke crap.. and people throwing around diagnoses they don't understand, we are going into another dark ages. I probably shouldn't even be admitting my own diagnoses because it is soooooo stigmatized but I am committed to helping to educate and inform others. It must be lucky to have grown up "normal". and happy. Trauma is a horrible thing and that isn't understood either. The Media has created sooo many stereotypes and tropes on Mental Health issues they are seriously to blame for all the negative stuff surrounding it.
@@caelidhg6261 Honestly, it's one of the reasons I like the Navarro book. He doesn't use official diagnoses, he has basically made up his own groups based on behaviors. If your version doesn't include those kinds of behaviors then his book is not warning anyone against you. I tend to think everyone is over diagnosed with everything these days. It's like nobody has personalities anymore, or character traits, they just have diagnosis and identities, like every single thing about every single person is some kind of disease or political group and it's stifling. (that said, your remark about how 'lucky' it is to be 'normal' is pretty passive aggressive, positions yourself as the victim and everyone around you as powerful people who must adjust to accommodate you, which is assuming they have no trauma and no mental or physical disorders they may not be telling you about. No, I'm not giving you a list of the things I've been diagnosed with, but I can tell you that taking control of my life away from the psych industry has made my life better.)
I noticed the world was breaking back in 2010 when a narcissist won Big Brother here in Australia. He was vile and I was shocked the public voted for him, big red flags...and here we are 12 years later being ruled by them and their childish tantrums, nothing but destructive adult toddlers. Then the people said no...the end.
I'm going to share my personal story of my first experience with a wokie. Before they became and later came out as a trans women bunny furry gay, I knew them as the guy in high school that was always hungry for attention and always had to be seen, like a literal narcissist. He would be standing on top of the table in the courtyard of the school yelling aloud. I avoided this person like the plague for all of high school even though we had mutual friends and he seemed to want to be my friend. I had avoided him luckily all through high school, but one night he messaged me on facebook and my girlfriend struck up a conversation. we ended up hanging out(he called me one day and had some drama or something with his mom and asked me to come and pick him up). This would be the first incident of many that they used drama to manipulate me and my girlfriend. Later when we leaving for a trip they called us on the morning they knew we were leaving balling uncontrollably. Around this time they started spending a lot of time on the website tumblr. There were many many instances of this behavior. (around this time as well they also tried to peddle child p*** to my girlfriend) Eventually they came out as a gay trans furry( they said they were a literal rabbit). They were in a relationship with 5 other guys, a relationship which they torched themselves hilariously after one of their many freakouts one of which was at my place of work that I got them a job at. They physically assualted one of the people that was in the relationship with them. Such a terrible terrible person, but would constantly repeat to themselves and others "I'm so brave, everyday I exist and go out in public I'm an activist, everyday I exist is a radical protest". That alone shows the level of narcissism related to this movement and as wokness has become more prevalent I've seen this phrase repeated a lot.
You can use the correct pronoun "he". Every time you use "they", especially when he isn't around, you're still playing that game. It's also hard to read with the incorrect pronouns.
We have a trans bunny in our town, too! We call him "bunny person" and he always wears his fluffy bunny tail, even at work in the local Walmart. Pink hair, was interviewed by a local paper, obviously loves the attention.
We 'ad a Bunny Person up here in Yorkshire too. Damn foxes go to him before he could get the help he needed. Local farmer Terry had to put him out of his misery, the foxes had flung him to shreds. Still, made for an excellent stew. You need to add a lot of water to balance out a lifetime of salt, but its what they would have wanted.
My father was a psychiatrists. When the wokeness really took off he immediately pointed this out to me. Explained how the BPD women who were in for threatening to kill themselves or for other reason would sit with their laptops and phones on twitter every day, together in a cluster.
I'm a survivor of child abuse and domestic violence. This guy and I seem to have the same mother! I've done years of trauma recovery work and extensively educated myself on trauma, personality disorders, and coercive control. Once your eyes are opened, you realize abusive behavior is everywhere, based on predictable patterns, and scales up and down from couples to countries. I loved this interview!!
Finally! I've been trying to explain this to my family and friends for over 2 years after getting out of a relationship with a woman with BPD/ASPD (so dangerous).
Glad you’re out. Very dangerous situation. Hubby, brother and me tried to warn my son. Eventually he left his girlfriend, even after all the emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation he refused to see it. He thought he could fix it - big mistake, huge! His brother finding bros g/f on a dating platform didn’t do it. He finally left after g/f physically assaulted him.
Finally, someone who has clearly explained what is going on. Now we have to deal with another month of victimhood with gay pride month. I am so sick of it I won't go to any store who promotes this and now I feel like I am acting the same. How can we get people to stop? I treat everyone the same but still get hit over the head with how bad I am if I don't go along with the histrionics. I agree we have to stop this.
Ugh, yes. A whole month of it, too. A colleague is planning to incorporate pride month into her work with grade one to three students. Seems like too adult a concept to be indoctrinating such young kids with. It is one thing to teach about acceptance but I am not sure about the sexuality aspect for kids so young.
They've ruined a classic thing meant for children: rainbows. I loved rainbows as a kid, but they have an entirely different meaning now. Right now Target is full of pride flag clothing and shoes in the Teen girls section. In my youth I would have loved them but now wearing a rainbow is some advertisement regarding your sex preferencea. It's all so cynical, too. I saw a pair of colorful Van's sunglasses on the Pacsun website in May, described as rainbow ombré sunglasses but then in June they suddenly renamed the glasses as "Pride" sunglasses rather than just rainbow. Starting to believe this choice of rainbow, a classic kids symbol, was more intentional than folks realize.
@@y2ksurvivor It is religious appropriation. The rainbow was originally a celebration/promise sent from God, now it has been made into something that is against Biblical beliefs. Funny that this is ok, yet wearing certain hairstyles, clothing, etc is seen as cultural appropriation and cancelled.
several years ago I retired from being a clinical psychologist in Hollywood......many, many years earlier I stopped accepting actresses since they almost all were severe personality disorders, and I was not paid nearly enough to put up with them
This right here. Anyone who comes from an abusive family or relationship knows exactly what's going on with wokeness. It screams personality disorder. I relate to his experience so much. When Trump became president and everyone on social media went woke, I was like, "At least I can explain to people what my family is really like."
What ever happened to Question Authority from the 80s? I was a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat growing up. Sometime in the last 15 years Question Authority became a far right concept. I must have been busy working and paying for children to notice.
@@marjorie4310 💯. Once the left obtained power, all the "question authority", and "freedom of expression", and "tolerance" were conveniently thrown out the window.
I first knew we were going to have big problems back in the late 00's, when I first saw LOTS of younger people doing selfies. The narcissism seemed incredible to me (a person who'd done their best to not get photographed) and worried me immensely. It's only got worse with the projection that facebook and twitter offer. The inmates are now truly running the asylum, and the rest of us should be extremely concerned.
I actually think it started with MySpace. It passed me by but old school friends who were on it mentioned it at the time. When I went on I could not believe it, I was like what is this website of vain people and why are your pages so awful with your font colour choices?
I've posted maybe 2 selfies on facebook, because I know my mom and her friends like to see my face, (and honestly I like to see my friends' selfies... I request my boyfriend to send me selfies even) but it still felt like an embarrassing thing to do.
It's so great he shares his story though. He is helping a lot of folks from similar families. Love this guy, Josh. He has done his research. He speaks truth.
I'm ambivalent about this guy. I tried listening to his podcast, but it comes off as bitter and antagonistic. He seems to embody some of the tactics Cluster B people employ against others he considers Cluster B and possibly overly pathalogizes anyone he dissagrees with.
My husband and I both have alopecia. If he walks around bald, no one notices. If I walk around bald as a woman, I get stares and weird comments. So, it's not really the same at all. I wish I could just be bald and it not be a big deal. I actually get annoyed when people say things like "that must be so hard," "I would be devastated if I were you," and "how do you deal with that?" These are literal questions I've been asked. It's annoying. I personally think it's nothing and wish everyone would treat it like that. The will Smith thing annoyed me and I'd be mad if my husband punched someone for making a dumb comment. Just ignore it and move on. People say dumb things all the time, myself included.
Wow, I have been likening the leftist, woke, sjw stuff to a massive narcissist for about a year now, but I've never ever heard anybody even agree with me, let alone state it so articulately and precisely as you've done here! It feels like I've suddenly been vindicated in my perceptions!! Thank you so much! I so appreciate this episode and I'm definitely going to check out Disaffected now!
I noticed Borderline traits (splitting the world in two rigid categories, instability in the perception of self identity and emotions, emptyness/nihilism and a desperate search for a deep meaning) in Wokeness too like 1 year ago
I noticed it after researching borderline a couple years ago after dealing with someone with a severe form of it (extremely obsessive, intense love bombing, suddenly switching between pedestaling/denigrating, extreme uncontrollable emotional reactions that lingers, etc) . it was an "aha!" moment for me. I used to think borderline was sorta like rapid-cycling bipolar with mood swings, but it goes much deeper and intense than that.
@@viviennedunbar3374 not necessarily, but alot of people that have this disorder have no respect for the word hate, they see hate against people they deem immoral as a stripe on your sleeve rather than something to contend and check. People forget that just because you have a disorder it doesn't mean you have to show all the symptoms, you could still have the symptom but realise it is just that, a symptom and have much greater control over it or total control. not all people With BPD are short fused assholes.
When I was young this sort of narcissism was called "childishness", assumed to have been caused by "spoiling", indulgence. I see no reasons to change my mind now.
“Stop Walking on Eggshells” is a book I highly recommend for everyone who has a loved one with BPD. It helped me realize what I was dealing with…also, DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) was huge in teaching me the coping skills I needed to live with my BPD family member. You have to do what ever it takes to protect yourself, their manipulation is strong but you can be stronger without losing them.
Wow you can actually learn techniques to help you deal with a bpd family member? I've read Walking on Eggshells and felt like I was reading about my childhood. What resources do you recommend on DBT for dealing with others with BDP? THANKS! 🖤🖤🖤
@@juliamihasastrology4427 DBT was created to help people with BPD, but the person I had to deal with would not go to therapy so I went because I thought I could teach it to her on the sly. I went to group therapy and learned it along with people who really needed it…it was a real eye opening experience for me and it taught me techniques in dealing with people whether they had BPD or not. Spending time with people who were trying to cope and improve themselves gave me some insight in their black and white thinking and helped me keep my cool when dealing with my loved one. Our relationship is strained but I don’t take any of it personally anymore and because she is family I want her in my life…I don’t let her toxicity bring me down like I use to. Of course, she thinks I am the toxic one but she wants me in her life, too. Do a search online, there are some great articles that explain what it is all about.
I’m glad TH-cam popped this video in my feed! As a survivor of narcissistic abuse I feel the same. Especially with the recent gaslighting from the “left”, it’s been a tough job holding on to my sanity. I’m a gay woman and feel embarrassed by the personality disorders of many so called “trans activists”. I know trans exists but the hate and anger associated with this movement is out of control. As a side note, the ad on :20 is brilliant.
I only have 4 years experience as a psychotherapist, but a lifetime experience of narcissistic/ BPD abuse. I can say with certainty that woke activist types have BPD. That doesn't mean everyone who votes left or who wants to be compassionate has BPD. But even this idea of glorifying compassion - what do people with BPD always say? I'm so compassionate I just lost control when the narcissist abused me!! Poor me, I only rage because I am a victim!! My profession is as a whole very woke and I think it has something to do with the collective trauma in the field. I wish more psychotherapists and psychologists would speak up about this.
I worked on a female EUPD unit for four years as a social worker, and now work in an community mental health team. I know all about PD. The notion itself of PD should be much more talked about and controversial than it is.
Can you say more about how the notion should be more controversial? I also am a social worker and have worked a lot with PDs. I am torn about how much its just labels for fuked up people and how much people do fit into the personalities types
@@jayjaydubful well, take the 'symptoms' of ASPD: Disregard for right and wrong. Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others. Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others. These are moral and ethical issues, not mental health issues. And the reasoning behind diagnosis is very circular: we know a man has ASPD, because he punches people all the time. And he punches people all the time, because of the ASPD.
You are so brave to speak out. I’ve lost friends and even had to leave a job because of all this hysteria and cancel culture. I love what you said about a) cancel culture is a kind of murder, and b) let’s stop choosing “sides” and instead look at each issue individually. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and heart with us!!!
Ive been a self employed joiner all my working life and I've seen a notable recent increase of narcissistic personality disorder, cluster B and dark triad personality issues.. I recently resorted to suing a couple of utter, soul-sucking, entitled, angry cnuts and won. Whilst im more aware of the signs, there's more of them these days.... I wish there was a simple psychological screening test i could deploy to prospective clients
The hardest part is being able to clearly define their behaviour and be able to express their twisted perspectives to others and the perps without sounding completely mad yourself... What they do is profoundly insideous with a lifetime of honing their skills, which, most 'normal' folks are unable to defend themselves against.... They draw you in deeper and deeper into their clutches.... They need you for narc fuel.... You will NEVER win against a narcissist.... All responses, no matter what is their supply... The best thing you can do is say NO and walk away... You win by getting your life back.... They are in families, relationships, workplaces and as neighbours. Don't fight them.. Just walk away and keep walking
@@clungebucket23 Yep. I've dealt with many Cluster B people. You have to be ready to go to war until one of you die, go to prison, or become utterly destitute. Oftentimes no one else or only a handful of people will truly know the unmasked version of these soul sucking leaches. It will be you (or a fraction of the handful of brave souls) against the Cluster B person's army of fawning brainwashed sycophants. Even if you "win" against a Cluster B person, they will forever try to find a way to get back at you. It could be tomorrow. It could be 3 decades later when they get their revenge.
@@jzen1455 i highly recommended the Surviving Narcissism channel.... Its super-helpful and very empowering. You frame your experiences in terms of conflict and war.... That's destructive to your long-term health... Effectively 'they' win... Disengaging from this mindset will liberate you.... That channel has hundreds of hours of great material.... Best of health to you.
@@madguruJ very much the case with my recent interaction with a narc client,,.. at the beginning, they are very agreeable which is how they lure you in. but as things progressed you could feel the claws digging in and see the rage building with non-verbal cues.. at the time they would have an opinion on a small detail, which i would very reasonably, rationally and pragmaticaly contradict, or at least improve upon...they would be tight-lipped at the time but twist this around as me being antagonistic which they would use against me later. between their first complaint and us settling the case, we exchanged some 30,000+ words , my last response was 11,000 words, i didn't hold back... i was warned by the experts that narcs would quite often try and bury their opponents with words... i thought "fuck it " and threw it all back at them, i think it worked
As a licensed mental health professional at the doctoral level, practicing for the past 28 years I can concur wholeheartedly with the suggestion of your guest. The rampant nearly epidemic levels of characterological disorders amongst the extreme left is evident to anyone that has even survived a handful of undergraduate psychology courses.
Great conversation, I love Josh's podcast, so to see him here was interesting. I also spent many years of my life allowing myself to be abused, first during childhood, where I didn't have a choice, and later with my unconscious choices in relationships. When the lights finally went on, and I realized what had been happening, it was like a huge weight was lifted and a thick fog, which was my life suddenly cleared. Lots of education and healing later, my life is nothing like it used to be, I have clarity and peace.
If you're on the left you may go one of two ways: * advocating empathy and equal treatment for everyone * acting out bitter resentment or guilt because of inequality It's the resentment or guilt - not the quest for equality - that has hi-jacked woke culture.
When the "left" advocates for equal treatment or empathy, it never involves their own behavior or material goods. It's always about forcing others to redistribute goods and/or empathy in a manner that they approve of. It's never good enough if conservatives give financially and of time to charities and ministries that help others. No, the giving has to be to active drug addicts, or gay community that is killing themselves with sex and healthy people that just refuse to better themselves through hard work AND we have to not just approve of them, but applaud them. The day I see one liberal divide their own belongings to someone in need, I will believe they really believe in equality and their rhetoric about privilege.
There's a third way: privileged people who want to appear trendy left will virtue signal like crazy because someone else has to pay for it. But they never contribute nor do they have to look at the effect of their virtue signaling.
@@prschuster WHICH of the two straw men (2 words) are you referring to? Would it be the more flattering version or... the fact that there is a less flattering one of the two? Could it be that one that you seem to take issue with? lol
@HekateMoonLight yup, I went to DBT for.two years, but cutting out carbs has helped me more than all the meds or therapy I've ever been on. I'm off all meds for bi polar and bpd, and have got rid of fibromylagia as well as reversing type 2 diabetes
It occurred we used to be a society where people wanted to be considered normal , and free of eccentricity, perverse , weird behaviour, now it's the opposite
Yes, and notice how little true eccentricity there really is. On the other hand, in the South in the 1960s, when I was a kid and teenager, people were more individual, less impressed with what other people were doing.
I'm listening and I'm nodding my head up and down and I'm waving my arms because I went through the same experience, when I learned about personality disorders. I always knew my mother was crazy, but I thought crazy was being schizophrenic with hallucinations and muscle spasms, and one day I was reading an article about The Sopranos, and it described Tony Soprano's mother as having Borderline Personality Disorder, and there was a flash of light, and finally I knew there was another kind of crazy, and it described my mother. So thank you Josh Slocum. Boy, do I identify.
Learn now Steve's Four Rules of Power Demonstrate your power over others by: 1) Making them constantly afraid of giving offense unintentionally. 2) Making them give up cherished customs, symbols, pastimes, relationships. 3) Making them pay lip service to ideas of breathtaking absurdity. 4) Making them do things that disgust and repel them.
I'm only 25mins in a feel like crying with relief to hear someone talk about my experience- mine was in a 15year long relationship though and I have children with him.
@@Gallowglass7 Thank you, I've been following them both for a couple of years. Richard's video on the passive aggressive covert narcissist changed my life. Dr Ramani is also excellent.
Narcissism is now being encouraged in the same way that the nuclear family is now being discouraged. It make people much more controllable. As for Josh, I love listening to people who have worked themselves and their realities out, rather than people (often narcissists, themselves) who think that they have been taught what reality is by their educational system, and blindly push it on to others.
Thanks Josh and the trig guys. My experience was similar, PD family, in the dark for 40 years, found Sam Vaknin's videos and boom, OMG, this is my life. I too saw woke is PD when I realised at the 2016 Edinburgh festival that the promoters of a homelessness film didn't care about or want to understand the causes of homelessness but just wanted to be seen to be good, by projecting out their self-hatred onto an other, the Tories in this case. Brilliant work, Josh, thanks so much for sharing your insights, understanding and discernment which seem spot on.
Yes. Josh and Sam Vaknin. 70 years young, over 30 mental health professionals layer, and my mother is finally explained. And as a flow on my entire life!
I was in conversation with 2 of my early graduates, who have gone on to become teachers. According to them, secondary schools can no longer function without the constant intervention of in-house psychologists. Theodore Dalrymple’s book ‘Evasions’ suggests that the same is true in a great many other walks of life. Disturbing to say the least.
An interesting aspect in understanding personallty disorders, is that they are ego-syntonic; meaning, the individual with this affliction does not recognize their behavior as pathological, as opposed to other mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or addiction wherein the individual recognizes the pathology and wishes to change. The individual with Cluster B disorders will resist any suggestion that is counter to their rigid and often narrowly-defined world view... i.e. you likely will get no cooperation in any discussion with them.
Unless they are love-bombing you or if your are being idealized. Then, they will be in near complete compliance and will mirror you. Whatever you say you believe "OMG! THAT"S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL TOO!" but that phase will eventually end, and the mask will fall off, and you will be met with pure venous vitriol.
Josh is so sweet and to the on the point! Was an eye opener to hear him for the first time, totally gives a different point of view on the 'culture war' and disorder dynamics. Laymen that have done the reading, therapy and is speak up are gems! ❤️
I am so pleased that Josh has been interviewed here. there is no doubt in my mind that many people who are pushing various left wing agendas have a mental illness of one kind or another. This is not to say that they should be mocked, but should be given access to help and counselling. I watch so much of what goes on today and I often compare it to a 4 year old child. If we saw many of these behaviours in a 4 year old, we would counsel him/her to change their behaviour. I have experience of dysfunctional mother, a friend who went off on a tangent about trans gender because her son was transgender. I have also watched a documentary about some British young men who went to the Eton of India to rescue their education, and one of them had a complete meltdown about getting his hair cut. They had to accommodate him by declaring him a Sheikh. there is so much going on today that is part of people's own personal agenda because of their personality disorder or emotional disfunction.
Josh Slocum is a courageous and amazing man. So lovable. His childhood account is devastating - but he's processing it in a way so as to be of service and enlighten people so we can be on guard against Cluster B personality traits (and the way they crop in our current behavior, online interactions and politics). This was such a great episode - and @DisaffectedPodcast - you are deeply conscientious, thoughtful, intelligent and moral. So grateful I got to 'meet you' here.
These disorders must be infectious. I think we once assumed they are endemic or inherited - i.e. the the proportions were expected to remain constant. But when our parents, teachers and peers are all loudly carrying on this way, we cannot help being affected.
It 100% is infectious. It's known that if you live with someone with a personality disorder, you have to adopt a lot of their traits to cope and survive. You can only heal once you cut all contact. With social media and people 'living online' it has become a cluster B pandemic. Also, nobody is born with these disorders. You get infected/programmed by your caregivers in childhood.
I guess you could say that a lot of us were always more observant than the herd and we had empathy and concern for the exploitive nature of modern civilization. But, a few decades ago our circles became colonized by manipulative, virtue signaling, dominating, emotionally immature people. So much so, that it became abhorrent to associate and identify with causes we once did. They became the realm of commercialized victimhood that empowers and is exploited by awful people.
I thoroughly enjoyed this show, especially as the thought-provoking views were presented articulately and based on both personal experience and diligent research.
I have recently read an epidemiological study from the regional health department I work for (Emilia, northern Italy), comparing psychopathological data from the early 00 to today. Personality disorders have basically doubled, from a 3% prevalence to almost 6% in 20 years, which is insane, but if you break it down by clusters, the rise is almost entirely cluster b. It really seems our current culture is an engine for narcissism and fragility of the self, two sides of the same coin, and there's empirical data to support it
This was so enlightening and what a relief to me. As my story has so many deep connotations with the guest story. I am 42 years old and I ran away from my mother's house at 14. Lived all my life blaming myself for being inadequate and not being able to fit in. Only recently I started to understand the levels of abuse I was subjected to and I am now trying to salvage whatever is left of my broken soul so I can live the rest of my life in peace. Thank you 'Triggers' for providing this kind of content. Your contribution to humanity is vast and in my opinion very much overlooked. Three thumbs up 😅
This is why the Depp Heard case mattered and isn't it wonderful that the Jury of 7 produced a verdict which demonstrated judgement: they could decide for one side for most of the questions but weren't thereby obliged to deny the other side a judgment in their favour on a single charge. A victory for the value of a jury and people being required to sit and talk together to produce a unanimous verdict.
That case didn’t matter. What she says in the first place didn’t matter. It’s illogical and sexist to “believe all women” (even if they could define woman) The sussman case did matter. That’s the one where Clinton’s lawyer did what was illegal but wasn’t even slapped on the wrist. That case was a slap in the face to all Americans. The depp trial was part of their head focking us and giving us bread and circuses. Hollywood is fakery. None of it matters.
@@-astrangerontheinternet6687 The case mattered but yes I look at Russell Brand too and the Susman -Clinton trial matters very much and we are not going to get it reported on the BBC. Hilary gets the Graham Norton suck up instead.
sadly, it's often a long arduous process to expose cluster B people as they slander numerous people along the way. I think Johnny felt going to court was the only way to expose Amber Heard. Sadly, there's STILL a handful of people who side with Amber Heard, but it's good to know there are many sane people who still exist.
Parents are failing their children by NOT socializing them properly and allowing them to live on social media and also fail to make sure there is spiritual or religious development.
Loved this interview, I found it fascinating. His observation in reference to the use of the words judgement and discrimination being used almost exclusively in negative terms. Absolutely true. Thanks all. Really enjoyed.
There's lots of words like that. People associate the word manipulation as bad but parents manipulate their children for good reasons like healthy eating or road safety. Alternatively you could manipulate clay to make a masterpiece.
So many words have a completely different meaning than they did just a few decades ago. For example when I was a child gay meant happy. And discriminate was to discern, which was not an insult. But when speaking of discrimination in the way it is used today, it seems to be the left who discriminate.
Thank you all so much ❤ what you're doing is so helpful ☺ and the world needs to be more aware of the mental health issues plauging us all 🙏 I truly believe that society can heal. There are so many people effected by this. We can heal together ❤ 🙏
When I was very young I was tentatively labeled "Oppositional Difient" For decades I was homeless as an adult. I felt like a victim and I hated capitalism and worked for anarchy. Then I went to college to be a better ecoactivist and got redpilled. The lies I believed were horrendous. Like Forestry, that is what I went to school for. We have 3 times as many trees in America than we did 100 years ago. The Hottest year on record was 1936. Lol. It took 20 years to pull myself off the street and get clean, the left is basically a bunch of Methheads, Heroin junkies and drunks. Definetly those involved in eco action are heavily addicted to hard illicit substances... God bless you.
Josh has one the most coherent thinking ways I’ve come across on TH-cam. He may not align well either left or right but he is consistent in his way of making sense if this world. Thanks all!
I hope Josh gets more subs from this, the Disaffected Podcast is always interesting and often hilarious. It's well worth an hour or so of your time each week.
Most people with Cluster B personality disorders don't think there's anything wrong with their manipulative and destructive behaviors and blame others for anything that goes wrong in their lives. In the rare case a therapist diagnoses them with a cluster B personality disorder, some refuse to see them as a client anymore due to the long arduous (and mostly impossible) process of treating them.
That’s not quite true especially when it comes to eupd, the behaviours are known to be an issue and they often times realise it is not a normal or healthy reaction etc. In terms of treatment, sometimes doctors won’t tell an individual they have the condition but will still refer the patient for DBT due to the stigma associated with the condition.
@@zoro5035 FALSE, DBT is 100% useless for Cluster B personalities, most therapists actually recommend those who are affected by such borderline individuals to STAY AWAY FROM THEM! People who are Cluster B rarely view themselves as having any issues with their mental health, which is what makes them extremely dangerous and difficult to interact, treat and deal with in the first place. DBT requires the patient to be COMPLIANT with everyone and everything for it to work. When someone is fully resistant and dishonest with who they are and what they do, you can't treat them. The thing you have to understand when dealing with Cluster B personalities is that they operate under THEIR OWN RULES AND AGENDAS and live in THEIR OWN FANTASY WORLDS, REALMS AND REALITIES. As such, you CAN NOT use facts and evidence to convince them that they're responsible, they'll always find a way to weasel or slither out of your grasp. Narcissists especially refuse to admit or concede to any faults or flaws.
This is totally wrong, I diagnosed myself with BPD when I was thirty, later confirmed and added to by psychiatrists. I am 42 now and having the best year of my life, which is not a coincidence. DBT works, but it all comes down to a choice of how you want your life to go. For me, BPD was a gift, it brought me to meditation, philosophy, and religion. And yes, I’ve done damage in my life, and I’ve had damage done to me, I make my amends everyday, and expect nothing from anybody.
A lot of people have been saying there is currency in victimhood. I think the first time I heard it was on a Jordan Peterson clip years ago. It's really great to hear someone who came from a rough upbringing and their journey of rising above it.
I had some similar issues with my mother as Josh, and went to therapy to deal with it. Therapy itself can lead to a victim vision of oneself if it is not healthy or balanced therapy. It is doesn’t examine the self and differentiate between legitimate guilt and illegitimate guilt. People are not always honest in therapy with the therapist or with themselves. You have to push through the therapy as comfort for you as a victim (which has legitimacy, but cannot be ALL therapy is) and push into the things that you yourself have actually done and need to fix and correct in yourself to be healthier. I started leaning more Left during early therapy and thankfully pushed through. If I hadn’t, I would have been stuck in that victim mentality. It appears to me that the Left has many who have experienced a kind of incomplete therapy through the media and social media offering all the easy psychology without any of the challenging questions that come through real self-examination to move beyond the infantalized helpless victim to an agent of your own, healthily recognizing your limitations and needs, but not seeking dependence or pity to gain the affirmation or comfort I cannot find within myself.
This is why I've always been leery of identifying with any group. I've seen how groupthink can hijack someone's logical brain and lead people to dark places and to be stuck in us vs them victim mode. yes there are innumerable issues that may be holding you back, and I think it's good to identify them. But to keep oneself stuck in victim mode or to even praise being a victim will just build resentment and discontentment. Lotta woke people enjoy finger pointing without pointing the finger at themselves.
Join the exclusive TRIGGERnometry community on Locals to hear *Josh* answer audience questions triggernometry.locals.com/
Know anyone who can talk about the effect of family disintegration on these cluster B traits? It looks to me like this and social media maybe reinforce each other.
all of these personality disorders were fostered and grown on tumblr. I know tumblr is dead now, but it was in its prime ten years ago. those teenagers then are voters now. what are the activities that tumblr promotes? catastrophizing, self-diagnosis, viewing ones self as a victim, aggrandizement, mob behavior, witchhunts. etc. etc. etc.
I do know what I’m talking about you don’t
@triggernometry Do most of your other guests come here in the comments and harass people who try to share a little well founded criticism?
@@trevorjohnson6748 has
I'm a licensed mental health counselor with 3 degrees and 35 years in the field, and I pretty much agree with all of this.
☺️👍🏽
Thank god, because I was disappointed that this man turned out to be only somebody who has experienced instead of properly studied. I think there are too many people like that on the internet, which makes it difficult to know who actually has a point and who just wants to make one based on no knowledge at all.
We are pretty let down by the mental health profession. People like him are carrying what your woke factory hasn’t managed to do.
@@artandculture5262 Not sure what you mean by that, but I do think that my profession has a lot to answer for on this issue.
@Beth Loureiro nowadays everybody claims to be studied. At least a degree can give some sort of proof of actual knowledge.
I feel massively vindicated. Was involved with a borderline girl in my late teens/early 20's. She aggressively asserted on social media that she was a lesbian (pride flags and all), but this didn't stop us from meeting up late at night and having a traditional hetero relationship.
Later on I started frequenting borderline support groups as she was emotionally abusive and just really awful to deal with. And that's when I found this rabbit hole.
At least once a week I would see a thread describing the exact same thing I experienced - "my girlfriend has suddenly decided she is gay and an LGBT rights activist." Over and over again like clockwork. People would describe their partners with BPD turning into insufferable rageaholics who were obsessed with social activism and made it their entire personality both online and off. If it wasn't LGBT stuff, it was feminism, Trump, abortion rights, pretty much any left-wing social media "thing." Then when the trans stuff became mainstream, "my girlfriend has meltdowns if I don't use the right pronouns."
On these obscure little subreddits, we ALL connected the dots and figured out what was going on. There was pretty much a direct correlation between woke activism and personality disorders. What was funny is how moderators would occasionally step in and lock the threads because they were getting "too political." But in reality it was just boyfriends and husbands and moms/dads of those with personality disorders, spotting an obvious pattern.
Woke activism, whether it be on social media or in real life, consists almost entirely of mentally unstable people. When you support these causes, you are more than likely giving attention to people who should be institutionalized, or in some cases, already have been.
Think of Marla Singer from fight club and the nameless protagonist: delusional borderlines who hijack “causes” to soak up sympathy and drama and vent their negative emotions.
Sorry you went through that mate.
proxies. laundering.
Its driven by women and their weak no-chance friend zoned orbitters... you recognize them as that fat girl with the skinny guy
You've just encapsulated the last 10 years. Well done! You should reach out to Josh Slocum and get on his podcast. The good news is that, for the rest of your life, you'll be on the lookout for the warning signs of those types of women.
Im so sry you ran into one of us at all... this is why I isolate myself from society and dating - I just end up hurting people even tho im self aware, take meds and go to therapy. :( at least you didnt breed with her.
If it helps, not all of us are left wing looneys :) im prty conservative politically, even more so the past few years.
I spent 23 years in an abusive relationship that slowly stole my spirit. When the BLM riots kicked off and the media started to report on white supremacy, right wingers and racism, I had an uneasy feeling that I couldn't name. Within 2 weeks I knew that feeling was a nation being gaslighted. People in power, telling me who and what I am, based on their own twisted thinking, not my behavior.
Identical to my experience - after 10 years of living with and another five co-parenting with a narcissist. The whole BLM thing really made my skin crawl.
We’ll said. You’re absolutely not alone.
@@NAR-wv3sl it looks like a color revolution to me, sadly.
Genders and the agenda......
@@richardwillford2418 same
same
Josh is right that once you can see through these types of people, it is impossible to un-see them.
For real. Got into his podcast couple of years back and I notice this shit with people alot more now
Yes, you can see their scales, fangs, & claws.
Realizing that my ex (and mother of my kids) is a narcissist, was positively life changing. Knowing what you're up against will not make your life a bed of roses, but certainly easier to navigate. My advice:
- If you don't have kids, leave! And break all contact.
- If you have kids, go "grey stone" on her/him - don't meet in person, answer e-mails/SMS with "yes" or "no". Be boring and non-personal.
- Don't EVER put yourself in a position of dependency - it will be exploited mercilessly.
- Don't ever get into an argument with her/him.
- Don't let her/him provoke you - it's just bait to get you into a fight. It will be used against you.
- Be prepared to lose friends, learn to live with the fact that your reputation (in some quarters) is tarnished beyond repair.
- Don't try to explain to people that she/he has already won over - it will only make you look worse.
- Find out who your real friends are and cherish them.
Sorry but even if you have children you should run away from this person. Either taking children with you or leaving them to this person, but the latter is terrible. Children are not a MISTAKE that happens and your entire life is chained with a person who is a psycho. Children should not be raised in delusion. Their life is also severely affected by the narcissist parent and the delusion... they need to be protected. It is ok to separate them from this person.
@@ipercalisse579 That sounds really simple: Just take the kids and leave. There are laws concerning that. Maybe I should call the police and convince them that my ex is a narc? Get real, man!
What's more, no two circumstances are identical. The "best" way I can keep my kids safe (and an eye on the bitch) is by staying in the vicinity. The day my youngest boy turns 18 (in five years), I'm gone.
Call it trompism. Stay with the narc theme... But then it's also narc and trompic to accuse whomever you think is your opponent.
@@lannguyen-pu1db Sorry, can't understand. What's your point? And what is "trompism"?
Yeah in my perspective that is the take away for any kind of family breakdown. Basically all divorce’s. However it is a great co-parenting plan!
The whole society has a personality disorder: Narcissism. There's no common values anymore so everything revolves around the self. There's also hyperliberalism - if someone thinks they can be someone else (gender ideology) you are not allowed to criticize it because anything goes which is also part of the lack of humanist values.
Excellent point 👍
humanist values ?
sounds like some commie gobbledygook to me
victimhood identity disorder was created by joseph stalin and it was what caused the Bolshevik revolution which was a civil war and it seems like the same thing thats being done to people all over the world.
its an attempt to divide and conquer and turn traumatized people against each other, like raging against the Cluster B type people when we basically have no right to go near them and if we did we would be acting just like how they do and wed be hypocrites. all ya can do is have conversations with them and try to keep things peaceful
I've heard U.S. Culture described as "End-Stage Capitalism," reminiscent of a wasting disease. I call it degenerate-crap culture.
I think there’s another factor with the “people think they can be any gender (or any thing) they want” regardless of reality or biology. It seems to be related to a wishy-washy, barely defined “spirituality” that’s practiced in a half-assed, narcissistic way, maybe related to ideas that came to the fore in that book The Secret. It’s people with no grounding, no set morality, pushing ideas that “reality can be whatever you feel and want.” It’s a denial of the scientific consensus and established cultural ideas in favor of an individual delusion. I see a lot of this in this gender context and it can be seen on full display in the What Is A Woman? documentary everyone is talking about.
As someone who came from a very Leftwing, Marxist family, and who had a father with narcissstic personality disorder, I am amazed by the extent to which leftwing ideas lend themselves to this personality disorder. Thank you for doing this show, it is completely accurate.
I too am a progressive lefty who has a narc/borderline mother and sociopathic step father who has a finely tuned radar for cluster B types. I have no patience for the legitimization or even praise for such destructive personality types that the woke exhibit or are sympathetic to. Cluster B people are master manipulators and social media has given then a very powerful platform to gain the sympathy of millions who demand society to be drastically altered by catering to the neurotic whims of Cluster B people.
@@jzen1455 Very eloquently put.
@thatanna loste when you said "jew left". That kind of rhetoric does not help those of us on the right at all. Please stop.
Yes left wing culture unthinkingly grants power and support to anyone with a sympathetic identity claiming victimhood & vulnerability. Left wing psychology is pathologically altruistic and empathetic. This is the perfect Petrie dish for manipulative tantrums, narcissism, histrionics and DARVO.
All symptoms of personality disorders but incentivized in otherwise healthy individuals by the power structures of our institutions, the incentives of or empathetic culture and the secular mores of a post Christian liberal democracy.
@@honestjohn6418 In my view it's not the case that leftwingism is always pathalogically altruistic. Quite often there is no altruism at all - what I saw in the sample I was exposed to what that they were full of hate and they needed somewhere to put it. They rationalised that hate - usually of those richer and more talented than themselves - as love "for the poor" or [insert victim group]. T BLM in the UK, as an example, concerns itself with black lives only when the white establishment can be attacked, which is why they are obsessed with sporadic killings by policemen in America, but entirely indifferent to the mass beheadings happening in Northern Mozambique weekly.
Exact same experience as you Josh!! Grew up poor, meant to caretake, verbal and emotional abuse, multiple stepfathers who treated me like a maid, mom diagnosed with bipolar, etc. I could have been a victim but I got good grades, did music and art and told myself I would never be like my mother or my family. I think this inoculated me to the woke crap that was pushed on me because I believe in personal responsibility!
Since this video is 9 months old, very few if anyone will see this comment, but I'll write it anyway.
A while back, at the end of a semester in graduate school, I was invited to a party being thrown by some of the folks in one of my classes. All of these folks were younger than myself, but that didn't seem to matter to them, nor did it matter to me. I was looking forward to getting to know these folks better outside of the classroom setting, and maybe make some amicable acquaintances. There were also lots of folks there who weren't part of our classes or our department, and approximately 20 - 25 folks in all. The party turned out to be quite an interesting experience for me.
Fairly early on in the evening, a subtle, but apparently commonly accepted process began, obliquely at first, starting with one person, but then snowballing into a group event with approximately 97% of the people participating, where folks began to metaphorically drop trow, so to speak, and, in varying ways and degrees, compare various metaphorical penises. In no particular order, those comparisons were: mental disorder/illness diagnoses; medications they took to ameliorate or control those disorders/illnesses (their side-effects, what worked for some, and what didn't); and stories of childhood, adolescent, and young adult abuse and trauma, et al. Some folks openly “shared” their histories, etc., while others had those things alluded to or related in some detail to the group by others. Eventually, judging from everyone’s expressions, micro-expressions, body language, verbal language, and general behaviors toward each other, it began to seem as though this process was a means of establishing everyone's credentials of pain, and victimhood, etc., and through those things, their virtue points, leading to some kind of hierarchical pecking order. On one end of the spectrum, the most virtue points seemed to be awarded to non-white females, while, at the other end of the virtue spectrum, points were deducted from white males. Part of the process included self-identifying one's gender and sexual orientation, with non-white, "non-binary," trans, or "gender fluid" folks of the Alphabet+ group being given the highest virtue points, and self-declared, straight, white males, again having virtue points deducted. Interestingly, self-declared straight, white, male, "incels" got more virtue points than just plain, old SWMs.
After the process had finally run its course, those who seemed to have earned the highest amount of virtue points began to assume a subtle air of quasi erudition and authority. When they talked, those who were lower on the hierarchy dutifully and deferentially listened, no matter how inane, vapid, or bone-headed the person was being.
An interesting side note is that, later in the evening, I began to notice a stringy-haired, sickly-looking, “gender-fluid, poly-amorous” girl making what seemed to be "intimacy" rounds with her various partners at the party. She spent time talking to, holding hands with, and/or cuddling and kissing one person, and then eventually moved on to repeat the process with someone else. From the time I noticed this, she interacted with four different people in such a way. At one point, I noticed that an "incel" guy kept looking over at her as if he had a big chip on his shoulder about something. Whenever she caught him looking at her, she'd lean into whoever she was with, and whisper something to him/her, apparently in an attempt to piss the "incel" guy off.
I don’t know if this is the way folks do things now, but It was the weirdest damned "party" I've ever been to.
Well I saw and read your comment. This is genuinely creepy stuff.
@@simonhadley8829 Thanks for reading, Simon, and thanks for your reply!
This just happened to my husband when he took the kids to the park. The men's group did this. Liberal men. Thanks for leaving your comment!
How strange 😂
Not a fan of parties in general but if this is what they’re going to become it looks like I’m not missing out on much.
Rather grab some beer, a couple of kayaks, and hang out on the water. Way more relaxing.
I am a psychologist and personality disorder is my main interest. The most obvious evidence of PD behaviour is the whole trans thing, with studies showing roughly half of them meet the diagnostic level for a PD. Many others will have traits but not enough for clinical threshold to be met. Its also explains why its almost impossible to engage them in normal debate and the aggression they use against those who disagree with their views. Because clinical psychology in the main has failed in terms of curing people from these issues, its far easier for the clinicians to see their disorder as a legitimate identity, this means their treatment is no longer judged on the basis of removing the disorder, they encourage the patients to lean into it instead. It keeps them in a job which has very little to show for it in terms of positive clinical outcomes. Of course none of these clinicians are medically trained and they read social theory instead of medicine.
Also the only psychologists/therapists who will work with gender dysphoria are those who believe in transitioning. Most therapists (myself included) wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. So even if they seek therapy these people are kept in an echo chamber.
@@lynncrf yep its a small number of people who seem to be getting far too much attention because its the current trend.
And any legitimate discussion or merely inquiring about the validity of the their claims is met with "TRANSPHOBE!!!" "TERF!!!!!!" There's no room for discussion. They own the "truth" and anything contrary is hate speech.
@@lynncrf nowadays, one can find a professional who supports and enables one's delusional and dysfunctional thinking. Many professionals are also pressured into enabling the delusions, lest they be called out for be a __________-phobe and lose their livelihoods.
@@jzen1455 In a way, yes. However, as a therapist you can easily refer a client on. I wouldn't go near gender dysphoria as I think people should only transition once they are over the age of 30 and after years of intense therapy. It's a serious operation with a 67% complication rate and the detrans subreddit on Reddit is heartbreaking.
I came to this conclusion 3 years ago. The problem with Woke isn't ideology. It's defective personalities. Ideology is just one of their weapons.
Like wise. I would add that trauma without PDs is also lumped in there, coupled with weak characters (blaming/lashing out instead of emotional maturity).
I also found these people abusing the subtletly in our relationships with one another. Feminists to men, far left LGBTQ to the mainstream compassion etc.
You're right - ideology is not only a weapon, it's a shield.
The defective personality does tend to gravitate to that Ideology. I would say that Ideology is nothing more than defective personalities trying to validate their psychopathy.
Ideology is intrinsically problematic also
Cult. Look at Jim Jones
It's the same thing with religion. ANY religion. Take a genuine Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Athiest, Trans, whatever religion someone subscribes to, and if they are genuine, they will treat you the way they want to be treated. But take anyone from any religion, who has a defective personality, and they will weaponize whatever obscure facet of their religion they can to abuse you and take what they want from you.
I watched this gentleman’s Benjamin Boyce interview before this popped up in my feed (thx algorithm!) and as a survivor (victim no longer) or narcissistic abuse, from childhood into my late 20’s, I can say that this is one of the most insidious types of abuse to recover from. You experience it in childhood, it literally warps your mind to seek out more people like your abusive parent to fill up your life with. People who get out are lucky, hearing these stories expands the potential of reaching and liberating other abused people. I love this interview, I love the guest, and I am SO happy people are talking about this seriously now. One of the things that protected my abuser from scrutiny is that I didn’t have the language or tools to describe what was going on. These types of talks & deep-dives really have the capacity to HEAL. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my ♡.
This explains the changes in people I know so much, obsession with identity and victimhood it feeds into a positive feedback loop that socially rewards people.
I have a close (well, once close) family member who has changed so much I don't even recognize her as the person she once was. She's on the verge of being estranged from both siblings and parents.
This was great guys 🔥 🔥 well done!
Recent published research in Psychology has confirmed that the Authoritarian Woke disproportionately exhibit the Dark Triad personality traits (Machiavellianism, narcissism (esp high entitlement), psychopathy) ... to all intents & purposes, Cluster B. For those of us on the Left who are anti-Woke & anti-elitist, this has been pretty bloody obvious for years ... the unhinged aggression & abuse ... the forcing of everyone to tiptoe on eggshells around them ... we're witnessing the capture of Left-leaning organisations by affluent, narcissistic control-freaks possessing a very crude, distorted view of reality.
Thank you for you work, Richard. I find you very helpful too. You helped me address myself rather than deflect. You're very stern and straight, which is needed. Nicely nicely doesn't always ring through and can incourage the victim mentality. Thanks 😊 🙏 ❤
Richard, I have learned so much from listening to you. Thank you for the work you've been doing for years.
Richard's channels and courses have been essential in my healing from narc abuse and trauma bonding, can't thank you enough. Also Sam Vaknin goes very deep, his covert borderline analysis/synthesis describes my ex girlfriend better than anything else, a catch all that includes all cluster B types, and may be why many NPD's are diagnosed as borderline.
Society here in Abbotsford, Canada, has lost all sense of politeness. As the visitor pointed out, these people seem to feel that everyone is part of a dysfunctional family and they have a right to impose their moods upon the public.
I wish that I could like this interview 100 times. Josh really articulated something that I had been thinking for a long time. In fact I have heard quite a few people throw this idea around but no one has explained it so clearly before.
All I know is if someone is calling *me* a bigot because I wont look at a 6'2 man with a full beard in a sundress & call him a woman, I am not the one with the personality disorder here.
This is basically the reason why I included the following paragraph in my letter yesterday to my new pension providers:-
"Secondly, I have adopted a policy of zero tolerance for wokeness in my dealings with all corporate, governmental, arts & cultural, educational, and other organizations. Accordingly, any attempt to introduce tenets of gender ideology, critical race theory, or any other fashionable nonsense into our business relationship will result in its immediate termination."
I like it. I like it so much, I wrote it down.
The more BLM, TRANSWOMEN ARE WOMEN, Gender pronoun, no person is illegal, etc crap a corporation espouses, they more toxic behaviors they're willing tolerate. They are essentially telling their employees "We foster and encourage bullying and controlling behaviors but only if they are in alignment with all the woke ideals"
Oh my gosh…Can I work for you?😂
That is excellent! Good for you👍
I've always thought woke politics smacked of narcissism, and it's fascinating to listen to this and hear it being articulated
Funnily it was studying narcissism that had me realise just where the world leaders were at.
I've always found very religious people to be both narcissistic and toxic. I lost several childhood friends to the excessive religiosity. Just as annoying and oppressive as any woke person I've ever met.
@bobnewsdog did any of them ever try to get you fired from your job or organize an internet mob to dredge the internet for instances of wrongthink to use to ruin your reputation, marriage and life?
@@bobnewsdog Woke ideology is being treated like a religion and I agree there are similarities. It's a lot to do with authoritarianism, which can be perpetuated by both the far left and far right.
@@ello8116 Tyranny is always relative. Desegregating America's school was a huge fighting. The parental input of many white parents was they did not want their white children mixing with black children. It was "tyranny".
I was quite left-leaning for a while, but never felt really comfortable embracing all the wokeness because it felt performative and self-centered. Now I see why I felt that way…. Because it is!
Sucks how the disease of wokeism as infected the left. The right has their own set of crazy.
I had all the classic psychological hallmarks of being a "woke liberal" as a young adult - I was depressed, anxious, had bipolar tendencies, and personality disorder and narcissistic tendencies. When I started healing myself through modalities like inner child healing, etc. all of the feelings of victimhood, anger went away along with my depression and anxiety. I also at one point called myself non-binary (before it was even cool) because I hated women and didn't want to be around them and I associated mostly with men as a female. I was gender-confused... that also went away after I healed my mother-father wounds. I feel like people gravitate to ideologies that justify their mental/emotional illnesses.
I know it's been a very long time, but if you feel comfortable naming or explaining which processes you followed to let go of the hurt I'd be very thankful. I think I am going through a similar situation, where all the pain caused by others during my childhood is causing me to act in a similar, narcissistic way. If you see this, thanks.
We need to start conveying the message that: being victimised is nobody's fault or choice, but being a victim is a personal choice.
We need to destigmatise the act of being victimised ("having harm done against you is not your fault"), but we need to re-stigmatise the act of being a victim (the act of choosing to use your victimisation as an excuse and justification for bad decisions and bad behaviour).
Perfect way of articulating this concept, thankyou.
It’s hard for young people to fully grasp this nuance until they’re lived through the distinction. I couldn’t understand this until my mid twenties, unfortunately.
Younger kids certainly need a level of sympathy and love. After being a teenager though, viewing oneself as a victim, even if one is the most worthy victim, hobbles a person’s power.
It’s so hard to understand this lost power until you look backwards. People have tremendous power to do wonderful things. Telling anyone that they’re doomed from the start due to some personal trait is tragic. The ultimate self fulfilling prophecy
there's actual victimhood, and exaggerated victimhood.
Getting kidnapped and raped is. Getting called the wrong pronoun isn't.
Don't be who you are BECAUSE OF... be who you are IN SPITE OF... 🇺🇸
We used to understand this. I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. One of the first things in therapy is to think of yourself as a survivor instead of victim because that's the first step in taking power back from the abuser. It's one of the most important ones. Once you get that into your frame of mind, you're able to stop blaming yourself and stop reacting to what happened so you take back control of your life. Now everything is just affirming how someone feels rather than really helping them deal with it.
Oh my God Kanye was right
When I found that an empathetic-narcissist was a thing, my immediate past relationship (and several work colleagues) made complete sense. They look so compassionate and engaging on the surface, but are destructive emotional blackholes when you get close enough to see Oz behind the curtain.
Yes, they are skilled in putting up a front / a false persona to draw you in to their dysfunctional universe... They need you more than you need them. It's about winning, scoring points, getting a rise and vindication at any cost. They are desperately and pathologically insecure and hollow people with zero redeeming features
Those are usually people who so want to be loved but hate themselves. That hate is projected outwards.
@@Madonnalitta1 true. She had an awful childhood with a barely together mum and a dad that took off. When I realised that she was the way she was, hard wired to be defensive and pretty much looking out for herself, the confusing and anger dissipated, but I was resolute that we had to end. She morphed almost immediately (we had lived together 7 years and I thought we were a forever thing) and had moved on successfully to a new relationship almost immediately
And your right - there was a super competitiveness with me if all people that I could never understand. And she hated me being better at anything..
anyway, can spot a similar one a mile off now
@@clungebucket23 a few years ago I would’ve said ‘that’s a bit harsh’ but your post has a lot of validity from my experiences.
I guess I didn’t realise how deep her issues went till after I moved in and she started dropping her best behaviour
She was very successful at her job (which I helped her get and then advance), funny, urbane, very sharp and observant. People were / are drawn to her. She is super aware of her physical attractiveness, but plays at down playing it (which at the beginning was an even more attractive trait if hers… little did i know)
People love her. Everyone loves her.
Anyway, I slowly realised that she in fact really didn’t give a toss about me, really . She acted as if she did. She was a vortex.
But - she had a very emotionally unstable childhood. I could sender fight or flight responses to life. There was nothing I could do to help her rewire.
I hope she finds real peace….. just far far away from me :🙂
Are you sure you don't mean 'vulnerable narc?'
My ex sister in law is a classic Cluster B. Her children were turned inside out by her as was my brother. Her crazed manipulation and viciousness knew no bounds. She got enormous pleasure from seeing us all emotionally demolished when she pulled one of her hideous manoeuvres to gain control or attention which she did to greatest effect whenever we went on holiday, had birthdays, christmas, Easter - any time where she could maximum misery. I do not feel sorry for these people. I am sick to death of dealing with humans like her. I had an Aunt who had extreme narcissistic disorder, and a stepfather who was a violent sociopath not to mention a brother who also had some cruel ego maniacal issue going on (yet to be defined). And now we live in a society where they are ten a bloody penny destroying our culture too. These people wreck our lives and wreck society . My advice if you have the misfortune of meeting one ..run for the hills and don't look back.
Having grown up in a Cluster B household, I've developed a very keen ability to identify early on. Oftentimes, I'm the only one or one of a tiny few of a group who can clearly see it while many others are oblivious to it. I try to be careful about brining it up (if at all) because oftentimes others become suspicious of me for being the crazy one as others may only notice the nice masked version of the Cluster B person or they brush off the red flags as "quirks" or overlook them because they are under the spell of their charisma. I agree, I do all I can to get away from the person. And if you try to "fix" their behaviors, good luck with that. Once categorize you as the enemy, they will go on a long campaign to slander you and destroy your reputation.
Thank you SO much for your comment. My DIL is a classic Cluster B, and for many years we could not figure out the behavior, especially on all holidays and special occasions where we have been merely tolerated and some of us completely ignored. I have lost so many nights sleep over it over the years. We have only ever tried to be warm and welcoming, but we have never measured up to be treated nicely in return. Believe me when I tell you we don't expect much. A smile, a kind word, or not to be ignored would be nice. We all cringe when she yells at the kids, but we're on eggshells so she doesn't cut us off from them completely. After 12 years, it's such a relief to learn about this. We cannot fix it, and we would certainly run for the hills if we could. For now, it is helping me immensely to educate myself on the matter and to know I am not alone. Take care.
I’m living with mine . I need to get the heck out !
My father grew up with a "Mommie Dearest" mother in the 50s, and he became a tamer version of her. I did not understand him until my 30s when I learned from a psychologist that he was a "vulnerable narcissist". So I am *very* familiar with their traits and behaviors. I agree that the woke definitely possess some of these traits and behaviors. But they have also turned it into something akin to a religion. It is a scary beast.
Indeed!!
Yes: the inmates are running the asylum.
It *is* a religion. Unfortunately it hasn't been recognised officially by the state, which it needs to be in order to separate them. The holy trinity is Diversity, equity & inclusion. JP repeatedly states that we have a religious instinct and that involves worship, looking up to someone or something as an ideal to strive towards and emulate. If it's not god then it'll be someone/something else. For some it'll be a celebrity or wealth/status. For others it'll be environmentalism/climate change. They are no different from the crazies wearing sandwich boards with "the end of the world is nigh" in the 1970s. Back then we were aware of environmentalism via Greenpeace but considered them doolally. Thanks to them and MSM alarmism over Chernobyl etc nuclear power was abandoned. The activists don't want solutions, they want deprivation and poverty to atone for their sins. The 'looking up' part of religion is always good in that it encourages beneficial behaviour but the 'looking down' part is always toxic and is the reason people reject religion.
@@frosksdeadteeth5163 i have to disagree: for the most part, they do not want to suffer and atone for their sins: they want the rest of the world to suffer and and atone for their sins against the wokesters.
Cluster b's often run in families. Narcissistic personality disorder often produces a borderline child ,and a borderline often produces a narcissist, and of course, a person can be comorbid. My ex was bpd and after listening to hours of stuff on it, I realised his mother is npd. Their relationship is cringy. No boundaries. His mummy is his wife and always will be. She manipulates him by having raised him to be a dependent baby, but when he does something she doesn't like or a partner gets in her way too much, she makes his life hell and threatens to cut him off, and out "the family" she runs, which sends him into panic (like telling a 5 year old you won't look after them anymore, they'd not cope they'd be terrified). Cluster bs are formed via unhealthy attachments in the first so many years of life. That could be suffocating the child and not letting it become independent from you at the correct stages ,or the opposite and giving neglect. With the narcissist parent, they have been prevented from fornimg their own identity, they have to be an extension of the parent rather than an entity in their own right. Either way, a narcissist mummy won't emotionally meet the needs of the child. Yet creating the illusion to others and often the child ,that they are an amazing mother. All sinister stuff.
The breakdown of the family has more repercussions then we thought.
So grateful for y’all having this conversation. Little dose of sanity and intelligence is much appreciated.
Gents, I’d not come across Josh Slocum before but thoroughly enjoyed the discussion. I found it so relevant in trying to understand the world we now find ourselves in. Many thanks for having him on the show.
I see a lot of people defending BPD and other personality disorder lately, and I get that you feel the need to defend yourself and those you see as your people. However I think people have a right to protect themselves and their families even if that makes them seem mean or judgmental. I recommend the book Dangerous Personalities by Navarro. It’s not politically correct or steeped in academics, it’s designed for layman to read and use to protect themselves. You don’t have to let people rampage all over your life to be a nice person.
Seems to be a trend. Includes some therapists and psychologists as well.
Excellent comment 👍
Having BPD doesn’t absolve anyone of their moral responsibilities and we mustn’t let woketivists convince us otherwise by brow beating people with the “mental health” stick.
None of these PDs are actual “illnesses” that’s the first deception upon which all the others are built.
But BPD is a highly stigmatized diagnoses. Also there is not just one type. I have Quiet type. (meaning I attack myself essentially). Neurotypical people often get scared of what they don't understand and I believe that we need to have healthier constructive conversations and better treatment. I look at the world lately and get so depressed and frustrated. I have pretty much lost all my friends over the past two years. No one will return my calls and I haven't done anything to them. Now with the AMBER heard and all this woke crap.. and people throwing around diagnoses they don't understand, we are going into another dark ages. I probably shouldn't even be admitting my own diagnoses because it is soooooo stigmatized but I am committed to helping to educate and inform others. It must be lucky to have grown up "normal". and happy. Trauma is a horrible thing and that isn't understood either. The Media has created sooo many stereotypes and tropes on Mental Health issues they are seriously to blame for all the negative stuff surrounding it.
@@caelidhg6261 Honestly, it's one of the reasons I like the Navarro book. He doesn't use official diagnoses, he has basically made up his own groups based on behaviors. If your version doesn't include those kinds of behaviors then his book is not warning anyone against you. I tend to think everyone is over diagnosed with everything these days. It's like nobody has personalities anymore, or character traits, they just have diagnosis and identities, like every single thing about every single person is some kind of disease or political group and it's stifling. (that said, your remark about how 'lucky' it is to be 'normal' is pretty passive aggressive, positions yourself as the victim and everyone around you as powerful people who must adjust to accommodate you, which is assuming they have no trauma and no mental or physical disorders they may not be telling you about. No, I'm not giving you a list of the things I've been diagnosed with, but I can tell you that taking control of my life away from the psych industry has made my life better.)
I noticed the world was breaking back in 2010 when a narcissist won Big Brother here in Australia. He was vile and I was shocked the public voted for him, big red flags...and here we are 12 years later being ruled by them and their childish tantrums, nothing but destructive adult toddlers.
Then the people said no...the end.
I'm going to share my personal story of my first experience with a wokie. Before they became and later came out as a trans women bunny furry gay, I knew them as the guy in high school that was always hungry for attention and always had to be seen, like a literal narcissist. He would be standing on top of the table in the courtyard of the school yelling aloud. I avoided this person like the plague for all of high school even though we had mutual friends and he seemed to want to be my friend.
I had avoided him luckily all through high school, but one night he messaged me on facebook and my girlfriend struck up a conversation. we ended up hanging out(he called me one day and had some drama or something with his mom and asked me to come and pick him up). This would be the first incident of many that they used drama to manipulate me and my girlfriend.
Later when we leaving for a trip they called us on the morning they knew we were leaving balling uncontrollably. Around this time they started spending a lot of time on the website tumblr.
There were many many instances of this behavior. (around this time as well they also tried to peddle child p*** to my girlfriend) Eventually they came out as a gay trans furry(
they said they were a literal rabbit). They were in a relationship with 5 other guys, a relationship which they torched themselves hilariously after one of their many freakouts one of which was at my place of work that I got them a job at. They physically assualted one of the people that was in the relationship with them.
Such a terrible terrible person, but would constantly repeat to themselves and others "I'm so brave, everyday I exist and go out in public I'm an activist, everyday I exist is a radical protest". That alone shows the level of narcissism related to this movement and as wokness has become more prevalent I've seen this phrase repeated a lot.
wow that's scary
You can use the correct pronoun "he". Every time you use "they", especially when he isn't around, you're still playing that game. It's also hard to read with the incorrect pronouns.
We have a trans bunny in our town, too! We call him "bunny person" and he always wears his fluffy bunny tail, even at work in the local Walmart. Pink hair, was interviewed by a local paper, obviously loves the attention.
We 'ad a Bunny Person up here in Yorkshire too. Damn foxes go to him before he could get the help he needed. Local farmer Terry had to put him out of his misery, the foxes had flung him to shreds. Still, made for an excellent stew. You need to add a lot of water to balance out a lifetime of salt, but its what they would have wanted.
They????? Call him =he
My father was a psychiatrists. When the wokeness really took off he immediately pointed this out to me. Explained how the BPD women who were in for threatening to kill themselves or for other reason would sit with their laptops and phones on twitter every day, together in a cluster.
Wow! He has 6000 followers and you found this guy he is AMAZING! Great interview!
I'm a survivor of child abuse and domestic violence. This guy and I seem to have the same mother! I've done years of trauma recovery work and extensively educated myself on trauma, personality disorders, and coercive control. Once your eyes are opened, you realize abusive behavior is everywhere, based on predictable patterns, and scales up and down from couples to countries. I loved this interview!!
Finally! I've been trying to explain this to my family and friends for over 2 years after getting out of a relationship with a woman with BPD/ASPD (so dangerous).
I feel you. Good riddance
Glad you got out!
Glad you’re out. Very dangerous situation. Hubby, brother and me tried to warn my son. Eventually he left his girlfriend, even after all the emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation he refused to see it. He thought he could fix it - big mistake, huge! His brother finding bros g/f on a dating platform didn’t do it. He finally left after g/f physically assaulted him.
As a fellow former target, glad you made it out bro!
@@louises6121 I was in same for YEARS. BPD- no meds. So much…
Finally, someone who has clearly explained what is going on. Now we have to deal with another month of victimhood with gay pride month. I am so sick of it I won't go to any store who promotes this and now I feel like I am acting the same. How can we get people to stop? I treat everyone the same but still get hit over the head with how bad I am if I don't go along with the histrionics. I agree we have to stop this.
Ugh, yes. A whole month of it, too. A colleague is planning to incorporate pride month into her work with grade one to three students. Seems like too adult a concept to be indoctrinating such young kids with. It is one thing to teach about acceptance but I am not sure about the sexuality aspect for kids so young.
@@DoReMeaCulpa I am sure about it. It is perverse. Maybe ask your friend who groomed her.
They've ruined a classic thing meant for children: rainbows. I loved rainbows as a kid, but they have an entirely different meaning now. Right now Target is full of pride flag clothing and shoes in the Teen girls section. In my youth I would have loved them but now wearing a rainbow is some advertisement regarding your sex preferencea.
It's all so cynical, too. I saw a pair of colorful Van's sunglasses on the Pacsun website in May, described as rainbow ombré sunglasses but then in June they suddenly renamed the glasses as "Pride" sunglasses rather than just rainbow.
Starting to believe this choice of rainbow, a classic kids symbol, was more intentional than folks realize.
@@y2ksurvivor It is religious appropriation. The rainbow was originally a celebration/promise sent from God, now it has been made into something that is against Biblical beliefs. Funny that this is ok, yet wearing certain hairstyles, clothing, etc is seen as cultural appropriation and cancelled.
@@y2ksurvivor OOOOOh poor baby. They stole rainbows from you. Do we need a month for people who have been "harmed" by wokism? Why not.
several years ago I retired from being a clinical psychologist in Hollywood......many, many years earlier I stopped accepting actresses since they almost all were severe personality disorders, and I was not paid nearly enough to put up with them
you must have interesting stories
Nightmare clients! Imagine living with one
And they were probably “acting” the whole time.
The hotter the woman is the more likely she’s got BPD.
@@dolphin069 You can see it on their face i kid you not
This right here. Anyone who comes from an abusive family or relationship knows exactly what's going on with wokeness. It screams personality disorder. I relate to his experience so much. When Trump became president and everyone on social media went woke, I was like, "At least I can explain to people what my family is really like."
What ever happened to Question Authority from the 80s? I was a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat growing up. Sometime in the last 15 years Question Authority became a far right concept. I must have been busy working and paying for children to notice.
Seems like everything has been flipped upside down...the far left are now the enforcers for big tech, big pharma and big government
The left came to power.
@@marjorie4310 💯. Once the left obtained power, all the "question authority", and "freedom of expression", and "tolerance" were conveniently thrown out the window.
Seems the left want to be coddled these days.
I first knew we were going to have big problems back in the late 00's, when I first saw LOTS of younger people doing selfies. The narcissism seemed incredible to me (a person who'd done their best to not get photographed) and worried me immensely. It's only got worse with the projection that facebook and twitter offer. The inmates are now truly running the asylum, and the rest of us should be extremely concerned.
When they fall off cliffs I always look at the photos to see how beautiful they are. Usually quite so. Saw it coming too.
I actually think it started with MySpace. It passed me by but old school friends who were on it mentioned it at the time. When I went on I could not believe it, I was like what is this website of vain people and why are your pages so awful with your font colour choices?
I would blame corporations and marketing for that.
I've posted maybe 2 selfies on facebook, because I know my mom and her friends like to see my face, (and honestly I like to see my friends' selfies... I request my boyfriend to send me selfies even) but it still felt like an embarrassing thing to do.
Yes! I nearly died when my husband’s company gave him a selfie stick as part of his holiday gift. We donated it. Never used it.
This poor man. It’s super tough when your closest family can sometimes do you the most harm.
It's so great he shares his story though. He is helping a lot of folks from similar families. Love this guy, Josh. He has done his research. He speaks truth.
I'm ambivalent about this guy. I tried listening to his podcast, but it comes off as bitter and antagonistic. He seems to embody some of the tactics Cluster B people employ against others he considers Cluster B and possibly overly pathalogizes anyone he dissagrees with.
My husband and I both have alopecia. If he walks around bald, no one notices. If I walk around bald as a woman, I get stares and weird comments. So, it's not really the same at all. I wish I could just be bald and it not be a big deal. I actually get annoyed when people say things like "that must be so hard," "I would be devastated if I were you," and "how do you deal with that?" These are literal questions I've been asked. It's annoying. I personally think it's nothing and wish everyone would treat it like that. The will Smith thing annoyed me and I'd be mad if my husband punched someone for making a dumb comment. Just ignore it and move on. People say dumb things all the time, myself included.
I'm a fat activist.. sometimes I get out of my chair for more chocolate cake
Me too!
Wow, I have been likening the leftist, woke, sjw stuff to a massive narcissist for about a year now, but I've never ever heard anybody even agree with me, let alone state it so articulately and precisely as you've done here! It feels like I've suddenly been vindicated in my perceptions!! Thank you so much!
I so appreciate this episode and I'm definitely going to check out Disaffected now!
I noticed Borderline traits (splitting the world in two rigid categories, instability in the perception of self identity and emotions, emptyness/nihilism and a desperate search for a deep meaning) in Wokeness too like 1 year ago
There is also the total inability to debate or self-reflect. Instead trying to force your will on others by any means necessary.
is marxism bordeline then?
I noticed it after researching borderline a couple years ago after dealing with someone with a severe form of it (extremely obsessive, intense love bombing, suddenly switching between pedestaling/denigrating, extreme uncontrollable emotional reactions that lingers, etc) . it was an "aha!" moment for me. I used to think borderline was sorta like rapid-cycling bipolar with mood swings, but it goes much deeper and intense than that.
@@viviennedunbar3374 not necessarily, but alot of people that have this disorder have no respect for the word hate, they see hate against people they deem immoral as a stripe on your sleeve rather than something to contend and check.
People forget that just because you have a disorder it doesn't mean you have to show all the symptoms, you could still have the symptom but realise it is just that, a symptom and have much greater control over it or total control. not all people With BPD are short fused assholes.
Oh, you're just stigmatizing wokeness.
Just kidding, just kidding! 😂
When I was young this sort of narcissism was called "childishness", assumed to have been caused by "spoiling", indulgence. I see no reasons to change my mind now.
The Devouring Mother
“Stop Walking on Eggshells” is a book I highly recommend for everyone who has a loved one with BPD. It helped me realize what I was dealing with…also, DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) was huge in teaching me the coping skills I needed to live with my BPD family member. You have to do what ever it takes to protect yourself, their manipulation is strong but you can be stronger without losing them.
Wow you can actually learn techniques to help you deal with a bpd family member? I've read Walking on Eggshells and felt like I was reading about my childhood. What resources do you recommend on DBT for dealing with others with BDP? THANKS! 🖤🖤🖤
@@juliamihasastrology4427 DBT was created to help people with BPD, but the person I had to deal with would not go to therapy so I went because I thought I could teach it to her on the sly. I went to group therapy and learned it along with people who really needed it…it was a real eye opening experience for me and it taught me techniques in dealing with people whether they had BPD or not. Spending time with people who were trying to cope and improve themselves gave me some insight in their black and white thinking and helped me keep my cool when dealing with my loved one. Our relationship is strained but I don’t take any of it personally anymore and because she is family I want her in my life…I don’t let her toxicity bring me down like I use to. Of course, she thinks I am the toxic one but she wants me in her life, too.
Do a search online, there are some great articles that explain what it is all about.
There’s a few books with that title on Amazon, do you know the authors name?
_I Hate You, Don't Leave Me_ is even better. Much more technical.
@@dannyarcher6370 excellent book
I’m glad TH-cam popped this video in my feed! As a survivor of narcissistic abuse I feel the same. Especially with the recent gaslighting from the “left”, it’s been a tough job holding on to my sanity. I’m a gay woman and feel embarrassed by the personality disorders of many so called “trans activists”. I know trans exists but the hate and anger associated with this movement is out of control. As a side note, the ad on :20 is brilliant.
learning about narcissism really helped me. I'm a narcissist magnet. Now I see the red flags almost immediately...and run
They can spot you before you see them, that's the problem.
You are the lone antelope on the edge of the herd, they are the lions.
Sure, you can run.
And women wonder why men are so closed-off emotionally. It's because compassion is a hunted trait.
@@royjacobs1204 fuck they really do
Hi, im a narcissist want to go out sometime?
@@DonTrump-sv1si no thanks, cutting back
I only have 4 years experience as a psychotherapist, but a lifetime experience of narcissistic/ BPD abuse. I can say with certainty that woke activist types have BPD. That doesn't mean everyone who votes left or who wants to be compassionate has BPD. But even this idea of glorifying compassion - what do people with BPD always say? I'm so compassionate I just lost control when the narcissist abused me!! Poor me, I only rage because I am a victim!! My profession is as a whole very woke and I think it has something to do with the collective trauma in the field. I wish more psychotherapists and psychologists would speak up about this.
I worked on a female EUPD unit for four years as a social worker, and now work in an community mental health team. I know all about PD. The notion itself of PD should be much more talked about and controversial than it is.
Can you say more about how the notion should be more controversial?
I also am a social worker and have worked a lot with PDs. I am torn about how much its just labels for fuked up people and how much people do fit into the personalities types
@@jayjaydubful well, take the 'symptoms' of ASPD: Disregard for right and wrong. Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others. Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others. These are moral and ethical issues, not mental health issues. And the reasoning behind diagnosis is very circular: we know a man has ASPD, because he punches people all the time. And he punches people all the time, because of the ASPD.
What is EUPD?
@@uyoebyik emotionally unstable personality disorder
@@jayjaydubful is it an alternative name for borderline?
You are so brave to speak out. I’ve lost friends and even had to leave a job because of all this hysteria and cancel culture. I love what you said about a) cancel culture is a kind of murder, and b) let’s stop choosing “sides” and instead look at each issue individually. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and heart with us!!!
Ive been a self employed joiner all my working life and I've seen a notable recent increase of narcissistic personality disorder, cluster B and dark triad personality issues.. I recently resorted to suing a couple of utter, soul-sucking, entitled, angry cnuts and won. Whilst im more aware of the signs, there's more of them these days.... I wish there was a simple psychological screening test i could deploy to prospective clients
The hardest part is being able to clearly define their behaviour and be able to express their twisted perspectives to others and the perps without sounding completely mad yourself... What they do is profoundly insideous with a lifetime of honing their skills, which, most 'normal' folks are unable to defend themselves against.... They draw you in deeper and deeper into their clutches.... They need you for narc fuel.... You will NEVER win against a narcissist.... All responses, no matter what is their supply... The best thing you can do is say NO and walk away... You win by getting your life back.... They are in families, relationships, workplaces and as neighbours. Don't fight them..
Just walk away and keep walking
@@clungebucket23 Yep. I've dealt with many Cluster B people. You have to be ready to go to war until one of you die, go to prison, or become utterly destitute. Oftentimes no one else or only a handful of people will truly know the unmasked version of these soul sucking leaches. It will be you (or a fraction of the handful of brave souls) against the Cluster B person's army of fawning brainwashed sycophants. Even if you "win" against a Cluster B person, they will forever try to find a way to get back at you. It could be tomorrow. It could be 3 decades later when they get their revenge.
@@jzen1455 i highly recommended the Surviving Narcissism channel.... Its super-helpful and very empowering. You frame your experiences in terms of conflict and war.... That's destructive to your long-term health... Effectively 'they' win... Disengaging from this mindset will liberate you.... That channel has hundreds of hours of great material.... Best of health to you.
Maybe try and deliberately disagree with some things, see their reaction
@@madguruJ very much the case with my recent interaction with a narc client,,.. at the beginning, they are very agreeable which is how they lure you in. but as things progressed you could feel the claws digging in and see the rage building with non-verbal cues.. at the time they would have an opinion on a small detail, which i would very reasonably, rationally and pragmaticaly contradict, or at least improve upon...they would be tight-lipped at the time but twist this around as me being antagonistic which they would use against me later. between their first complaint and us settling the case, we exchanged some 30,000+ words , my last response was 11,000 words, i didn't hold back... i was warned by the experts that narcs would quite often try and bury their opponents with words... i thought "fuck it " and threw it all back at them, i think it worked
As a licensed mental health professional at the doctoral level, practicing for the past 28 years I can concur wholeheartedly with the suggestion of your guest. The rampant nearly epidemic levels of characterological disorders amongst the extreme left is evident to anyone that has even survived a handful of undergraduate psychology courses.
I would say exactly the same thing objectively about the right. Trump is the king of malignant narcissism.
Great conversation, I love Josh's podcast, so to see him here was interesting. I also spent many years of my life allowing myself to be abused, first during childhood, where I didn't have a choice, and later with my unconscious choices in relationships. When the lights finally went on, and I realized what had been happening, it was like a huge weight was lifted and a thick fog, which was my life suddenly cleared. Lots of education and healing later, my life is nothing like it used to be, I have clarity and peace.
Same 😁👍
If you're on the left you may go one of two ways:
* advocating empathy and equal treatment for everyone
* acting out bitter resentment or guilt because of inequality
It's the resentment or guilt - not the quest for equality - that has hi-jacked woke culture.
When the "left" advocates for equal treatment or empathy, it never involves their own behavior or material goods. It's always about forcing others to redistribute goods and/or empathy in a manner that they approve of. It's never good enough if conservatives give financially and of time to charities and ministries that help others. No, the giving has to be to active drug addicts, or gay community that is killing themselves with sex and healthy people that just refuse to better themselves through hard work AND we have to not just approve of them, but applaud them. The day I see one liberal divide their own belongings to someone in need, I will believe they really believe in equality and their rhetoric about privilege.
@@CM-sy3to All you are doing is creating a strawman depiction of the "left" that is easy for you to knock down.
There's a third way: privileged people who want to appear trendy left will virtue signal like crazy because someone else has to pay for it. But they never contribute nor do they have to look at the effect of their virtue signaling.
@@prschuster WHICH of the two straw men (2 words) are you referring to? Would it be the more flattering version or... the fact that there is a less flattering one of the two? Could it be that one that you seem to take issue with? lol
@@prschuster You're wrong.
You're just upset at what is being said.
The power of being a victim is that whatever you do in retaliation is justified.
EXACTLY!!!!!!!
I have Bordeline Personality Disorder. It is very hard to live with. My wife is a Saint.
Keep doing your best, champ
These days BPD is treated with DBT quite succesfully. Other cluster b conditions such as narcissism are tougher.
@HekateMoonLight yup, I went to DBT for.two years, but cutting out carbs has helped me more than all the meds or therapy I've ever been on. I'm off all meds for bi polar and bpd, and have got rid of fibromylagia as well as reversing type 2 diabetes
It occurred we used to be a society where people wanted to be considered normal , and free of eccentricity, perverse , weird behaviour, now it's the opposite
Yes, and notice how little true eccentricity there really is. On the other hand, in the South in the 1960s, when I was a kid and teenager, people were more individual, less impressed with what other people were doing.
“Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry” by Albert Bernstein is brilliant.
I think that having a Cluster B Personality Disorder is a necessary prerequisite for attaining high office in western societies.
I have followed Disaffected since the beginning. Outstanding show and Josh pulls no punches. So excited to see him here!
"It's always an outside force, it's not that you didn't make good choices". Yep. That's right
Thank you for talking about this. I have been thinking the same exact thing for years now.
Cluster B everywhere.
I'm listening and I'm nodding my head up and down and I'm waving my arms because I went through the same experience, when I learned about personality disorders. I always knew my mother was crazy, but I thought crazy was being schizophrenic with hallucinations and muscle spasms, and one day I was reading an article about The Sopranos, and it described Tony Soprano's mother as having Borderline Personality Disorder, and there was a flash of light, and finally I knew there was another kind of crazy, and it described my mother. So thank you Josh Slocum. Boy, do I identify.
Very good point, Francis. "The thing that worries me is that you can monetize (victimhood)."
Learn now Steve's Four Rules of Power
Demonstrate your power over others by:
1) Making them constantly afraid of giving offense unintentionally.
2) Making them give up cherished customs, symbols, pastimes, relationships.
3) Making them pay lip service to ideas of breathtaking absurdity.
4) Making them do things that disgust and repel them.
I'm only 25mins in a feel like crying with relief to hear someone talk about my experience- mine was in a 15year long relationship though and I have children with him.
Look up professor Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon. They have a lot of good videos on these topics.
@@Gallowglass7 Thank you, I've been following them both for a couple of years. Richard's video on the passive aggressive covert narcissist changed my life. Dr Ramani is also excellent.
Narcissism is now being encouraged in the same way that the nuclear family is now being discouraged. It make people much more controllable. As for Josh, I love listening to people who have worked themselves and their realities out, rather than people (often narcissists, themselves) who think that they have been taught what reality is by their educational system, and blindly push it on to others.
Thanks Josh and the trig guys. My experience was similar, PD family, in the dark for 40 years, found Sam Vaknin's videos and boom, OMG, this is my life. I too saw woke is PD when I realised at the 2016 Edinburgh festival that the promoters of a homelessness film didn't care about or want to understand the causes of homelessness but just wanted to be seen to be good, by projecting out their self-hatred onto an other, the Tories in this case. Brilliant work, Josh, thanks so much for sharing your insights, understanding and discernment which seem spot on.
Yes. Josh and Sam Vaknin. 70 years young, over 30 mental health professionals layer, and my mother is finally explained. And as a flow on my entire life!
I was in conversation with 2 of my early graduates, who have gone on to become teachers. According to them, secondary schools can no longer function without the constant intervention of in-house psychologists.
Theodore Dalrymple’s book ‘Evasions’ suggests that the same is true in a great many other walks of life. Disturbing to say the least.
An interesting aspect in understanding personallty disorders, is that they are ego-syntonic; meaning, the individual with this affliction does not recognize their behavior as pathological, as opposed to other mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or addiction wherein the individual recognizes the pathology and wishes to change. The individual with Cluster B disorders will resist any suggestion that is counter to their rigid and often narrowly-defined world view... i.e. you likely will get no cooperation in any discussion with them.
Unless they are love-bombing you or if your are being idealized. Then, they will be in near complete compliance and will mirror you. Whatever you say you believe "OMG! THAT"S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL TOO!" but that phase will eventually end, and the mask will fall off, and you will be met with pure venous vitriol.
They are extremely oppositional and hypersensitive
Sounds like woke people people.
Josh is so sweet and to the on the point! Was an eye opener to hear him for the first time, totally gives a different point of view on the 'culture war' and disorder dynamics.
Laymen that have done the reading, therapy and is speak up are gems! ❤️
I am so pleased that Josh has been interviewed here. there is no doubt in my mind that many people who are pushing various left wing agendas have a mental illness of one kind or another. This is not to say that they should be mocked, but should be given access to help and counselling. I watch so much of what goes on today and I often compare it to a 4 year old child. If we saw many of these behaviours in a 4 year old, we would counsel him/her to change their behaviour. I have experience of dysfunctional mother, a friend who went off on a tangent about trans gender because her son was transgender. I have also watched a documentary about some British young men who went to the Eton of India to rescue their education, and one of them had a complete meltdown about getting his hair cut. They had to accommodate him by declaring him a Sheikh. there is so much going on today that is part of people's own personal agenda because of their personality disorder or emotional disfunction.
Josh Slocum is a courageous and amazing man. So lovable. His childhood account is devastating - but he's processing it in a way so as to be of service and enlighten people so we can be on guard against Cluster B personality traits (and the way they crop in our current behavior, online interactions and politics). This was such a great episode - and @DisaffectedPodcast - you are deeply conscientious, thoughtful, intelligent and moral. So grateful I got to 'meet you' here.
These disorders must be infectious. I think we once assumed they are endemic or inherited - i.e. the the proportions were expected to remain constant. But when our parents, teachers and peers are all loudly carrying on this way, we cannot help being affected.
Trump has been the leading malignant narcissist for years now, and some people use him as a role model.
It 100% is infectious. It's known that if you live with someone with a personality disorder, you have to adopt a lot of their traits to cope and survive. You can only heal once you cut all contact.
With social media and people 'living online' it has become a cluster B pandemic.
Also, nobody is born with these disorders. You get infected/programmed by your caregivers in childhood.
Another killer interview. Thanks!
I guess you could say that a lot of us were always more observant than the herd and we had empathy and concern for the exploitive nature of modern civilization. But, a few decades ago our circles became colonized by manipulative, virtue signaling, dominating, emotionally immature people. So much so, that it became abhorrent to associate and identify with causes we once did. They became the realm of commercialized victimhood that empowers and is exploited by awful people.
We in my friend group have been discussing this for years. Such an accurate diagnosis! Thank you for such a thoughtful, interesting conversation.
I thoroughly enjoyed this show, especially as the thought-provoking views were presented articulately and based on both personal experience and diligent research.
Excellent interview…insightful guest. Bravo!
I have recently read an epidemiological study from the regional health department I work for (Emilia, northern Italy), comparing psychopathological data from the early 00 to today. Personality disorders have basically doubled, from a 3% prevalence to almost 6% in 20 years, which is insane, but if you break it down by clusters, the rise is almost entirely cluster b.
It really seems our current culture is an engine for narcissism and fragility of the self, two sides of the same coin, and there's empirical data to support it
This was so enlightening and what a relief to me. As my story has so many deep connotations with the guest story. I am 42 years old and I ran away from my mother's house at 14. Lived all my life blaming myself for being inadequate and not being able to fit in. Only recently I started to understand the levels of abuse I was subjected to and I am now trying to salvage whatever is left of my broken soul so I can live the rest of my life in peace.
Thank you 'Triggers' for providing this kind of content. Your contribution to humanity is vast and in my opinion very much overlooked. Three thumbs up 😅
This is why the Depp Heard case mattered and isn't it wonderful that the Jury of 7 produced a verdict which demonstrated judgement: they could decide for one side for most of the questions but weren't thereby obliged to deny the other side a judgment in their favour on a single charge. A victory for the value of a jury and people being required to sit and talk together to produce a unanimous verdict.
when juries become woke, that's when you know our society is doomed.
That case didn’t matter.
What she says in the first place didn’t matter. It’s illogical and sexist to “believe all women” (even if they could define woman)
The sussman case did matter. That’s the one where Clinton’s lawyer did what was illegal but wasn’t even slapped on the wrist.
That case was a slap in the face to all Americans.
The depp trial was part of their head focking us and giving us bread and circuses.
Hollywood is fakery. None of it matters.
@@-astrangerontheinternet6687 The case mattered but yes I look at Russell Brand too and the Susman -Clinton trial matters very much and we are not going to get it reported on the BBC. Hilary gets the Graham Norton suck up instead.
sadly, it's often a long arduous process to expose cluster B people as they slander numerous people along the way. I think Johnny felt going to court was the only way to expose Amber Heard. Sadly, there's STILL a handful of people who side with Amber Heard, but it's good to know there are many sane people who still exist.
Josh nailed it, that's indeed where we are in to our neck
What a wonderful interview... THANK YOU ALL for sharing it with us! 🇺🇸
Parents are failing their children by NOT socializing them properly and allowing them to live on social media and also fail to make sure there is spiritual or religious development.
Loved this interview, I found it fascinating. His observation in reference to the use of the words judgement and discrimination being used almost exclusively in negative terms. Absolutely true. Thanks all. Really enjoyed.
There's lots of words like that. People associate the word manipulation as bad but parents manipulate their children for good reasons like healthy eating or road safety.
Alternatively you could manipulate clay to make a masterpiece.
@@Madonnalitta1 You’re absolutely right of course. Mad when you think about it.
So many words have a completely different meaning than they did just a few decades ago. For example when I was a child gay meant happy. And discriminate was to discern, which was not an insult. But when speaking of discrimination in the way it is used today, it seems to be the left who discriminate.
Thank you all so much ❤ what you're doing is so helpful ☺ and the world needs to be more aware of the mental health issues plauging us all 🙏 I truly believe that society can heal. There are so many people effected by this. We can heal together ❤ 🙏
I was married to a covert narcissist for two decades. I know what it's like.
I hope you’re ok ❤
Such a perfect description of a big part of our modern culture.
Everyone I know who is narassitc has gone full woke. There is definitely something to it.
Even if they don’t believe it, it’s a perfect vehicle to control others.
Even Cartman.
Thank you for sharing - an excellent and important conversation.
When I was very young I was tentatively labeled "Oppositional Difient"
For decades I was homeless as an adult. I felt like a victim and I hated capitalism and worked for anarchy. Then I went to college to be a better ecoactivist and got redpilled. The lies I believed were horrendous. Like Forestry, that is what I went to school for. We have 3 times as many trees in America than we did 100 years ago. The Hottest year on record was 1936. Lol. It took 20 years to pull myself off the street and get clean, the left is basically a bunch of Methheads, Heroin junkies and drunks. Definetly those involved in eco action are heavily addicted to hard illicit substances... God bless you.
Josh has one the most coherent thinking ways I’ve come across on TH-cam. He may not align well either left or right but he is consistent in his way of making sense if this world. Thanks all!
I hope Josh gets more subs from this, the Disaffected Podcast is always interesting and often hilarious. It's well worth an hour or so of your time each week.
HG Tudor does the best stuff on TH-cam on narcissism. Great episode.
Most people with Cluster B personality disorders don't think there's anything wrong with their manipulative and destructive behaviors and blame others for anything that goes wrong in their lives. In the rare case a therapist diagnoses them with a cluster B personality disorder, some refuse to see them as a client anymore due to the long arduous (and mostly impossible) process of treating them.
They play by their own set of rules in which they "win" every time in their mind.
That’s not quite true especially when it comes to eupd, the behaviours are known to be an issue and they often times realise it is not a normal or healthy reaction etc. In terms of treatment, sometimes doctors won’t tell an individual they have the condition but will still refer the patient for DBT due to the stigma associated with the condition.
@@zoro5035 FALSE, DBT is 100% useless for Cluster B personalities, most therapists actually recommend those who are affected by such borderline individuals to STAY AWAY FROM THEM! People who are Cluster B rarely view themselves as having any issues with their mental health, which is what makes them extremely dangerous and difficult to interact, treat and deal with in the first place. DBT requires the patient to be COMPLIANT with everyone and everything for it to work. When someone is fully resistant and dishonest with who they are and what they do, you can't treat them.
The thing you have to understand when dealing with Cluster B personalities is that they operate under THEIR OWN RULES AND AGENDAS and live in THEIR OWN FANTASY WORLDS, REALMS AND REALITIES. As such, you CAN NOT use facts and evidence to convince them that they're responsible, they'll always find a way to weasel or slither out of your grasp. Narcissists especially refuse to admit or concede to any faults or flaws.
@@DR3ADER1 thank you for your comment. agree 100%
This is totally wrong, I diagnosed myself with BPD when I was thirty, later confirmed and added to by psychiatrists. I am 42 now and having the best year of my life, which is not a coincidence. DBT works, but it all comes down to a choice of how you want your life to go. For me, BPD was a gift, it brought me to meditation, philosophy, and religion. And yes, I’ve done damage in my life, and I’ve had damage done to me, I make my amends everyday, and expect nothing from anybody.
A lot of people have been saying there is currency in victimhood. I think the first time I heard it was on a Jordan Peterson clip years ago. It's really great to hear someone who came from a rough upbringing and their journey of rising above it.
I had some similar issues with my mother as Josh, and went to therapy to deal with it. Therapy itself can lead to a victim vision of oneself if it is not healthy or balanced therapy. It is doesn’t examine the self and differentiate between legitimate guilt and illegitimate guilt. People are not always honest in therapy with the therapist or with themselves. You have to push through the therapy as comfort for you as a victim (which has legitimacy, but cannot be ALL therapy is) and push into the things that you yourself have actually done and need to fix and correct in yourself to be healthier.
I started leaning more Left during early therapy and thankfully pushed through. If I hadn’t, I would have been stuck in that victim mentality. It appears to me that the Left has many who have experienced a kind of incomplete therapy through the media and social media offering all the easy psychology without any of the challenging questions that come through real self-examination to move beyond the infantalized helpless victim to an agent of your own, healthily recognizing your limitations and needs, but not seeking dependence or pity to gain the affirmation or comfort I cannot find within myself.
This is why I've always been leery of identifying with any group. I've seen how groupthink can hijack someone's logical brain and lead people to dark places and to be stuck in us vs them victim mode. yes there are innumerable issues that may be holding you back, and I think it's good to identify them. But to keep oneself stuck in victim mode or to even praise being a victim will just build resentment and discontentment. Lotta woke people enjoy finger pointing without pointing the finger at themselves.