I like how dr ramani talks about women wearing suggestive clothing to get attention, meanwhile she is wearing a low cut dress with her chest hanging out. Love it! DR. im single!!!!!
_Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality')_ I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!! The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till. ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition). SUMMARY: Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b) [Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL). ☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. 🙏🏾 PS: ESFJ are Amber Heard behind the public mask. ___________ #Save_Soil
This disorder is basically ESFJ neuro-personality (neuro-psychology)! ESFJ are secretly Amber Heard behind the public mask! They are an evil/anti-human neuro-personality type! They do not experience emotional-empathy as an 'instinct'! This includes genuine humanity and a moral compass! European ESFJ invented racism! It is in their neuro-psychology! If you know how ESFJ bully (look up ESFJ narcissits and how they abuse), it's literally the same thing as 'racism'; same characteristics but on a larger scale! Lastly, ALL ESFJ, ESFP/ISFP experience 'pathological HATE', it is their default emotional state, hence they are secretly emotionally-disturbed! They have a 'pathological disregard for rationality and reality' - this makes them unintelligent!
@@Augfordpdoggie Suggestive dress paired with many other traits. Cherry picking 1 or 2 out of a list of criteria does not meet a proper diagnosis For Histrionic personality disorder, or any disorder for that matter. What you're saying doesn't make any sense in regard to the topic at hand; however, your comment does bring attention to your own inability to focus on anything besides a woman's physical appearance, and how that relates to your own needs.... Sexist, I'd say. No surprise that you're single. 😂
Borderlines are very narcissistic yet have empathy unlike NPDs and psychos. They hurt but they also can be very thoughtful and mindful yet it’s like a thoughtlessness takes over in an instant.
When i was much younger I met a new girl at school. We were about 16. One day she came to my house to visit and my mother, who is normally the most unjudgmental person I know, immediately disliked her deeply. She explained to me that she was concerned because, as a parent you see each of your kids and their strengths and areas of vulnerability. With me she said, though it is a fine quality, I empathise and am a good listener. We had several battles over this other girl and one day my mother asked me: 'What role do you play for her? Where are YOU in this relationship?' I didn't quite understand and my mother said: 'You are her audience.' She was absolutely right. This girl was always in the midst of some epic trauma or dramatic experience, which she would talk about for days on end if I had let her. The thing that really did it was that my father did not like her either and I was always very close to him. I'm fairly sure my mother set him up to drive us to wherever we were going so that he might get through to me. From my mother I learned to ask: Where am I in this relationship? From my father: What do we talk about? If ALL they ever talk about is their emotional turmoil or intense stories, you are their audience. I tried once to re-direct the conversation to something of interest other than her problems and like a rubber band she pulled it right back to 'All about me me me and more drama and horror.' Within 5 minutes of her being around I would feel as if every drop of blood in my body had been sucked out. And that was the end of that.
@@sirmadam8183 me too, I wish someone had told me you are their audience when I was a teenager. What a perfect way of opening someone's eyes without talking badly about the other person.
I feeel this! At about the same age, I met a girl who has since been diagnosed with bpd. When I heard that, I immediately felt, looking back that it's probably actually hpd. I know I can't diagnose and do sympathise as she has suffered a lot but everything was about attention and audience. This video describes her so well. When I drew boundaries, she rejected ME rather than desperately cling. I had to walk away. Her clique who she controlled were kinda shallow too so ditched me when I walked away but although lonely, I was better off.
It seems to me that you portray her as a villain b/c she was talking a lot about trauma. Trauma is NOT a drama, what histrionic & BPD mostly display. You also mentioned being yourself as an empathic person. Sorry, as a psychotherapist I don’t see it that way, neither in you, nor in your parents. It seems your parents were hovering over you, so, God forbid, no one burdened your sift aristocratic psyche with their sad emotions. I actually think it was a blessing for the other girl not to associate with you! And I won’t be surprised at all if you are a histrionic yourself! You don’t seem concerned with the fact that you gossip about someone else’s life with your name fully available for everyone to see it!
I have HPD and BPD. My therapist calls it borderline with Histrionic tendencies. I have a favorite person but I constantly want attention from everyone. I’ll actually use my SO in a way to get attention from others. Like “look how much I love him and adore him.” I go between deep emotions and shallow emotions. I’ll mirror the emotion of someone else and not feel a thing, then the next moment I’ll feel a true emotion and feel it to my core. My appearance is my existence. I always look my best and put on my “model persona” when I walk into a room. I went to a wedding once in a full on gown not even aware I’d look like I was trying to take the attention of the bride. The only reason I’m aware now is because I’ve been in therapy for 5 years. I’m still very much histrionic and borderline, but my awareness helps me not be so self centered in my approach to things.
It takes a lot of power and to be able to say what you said and come out with this in a public forum. I'm not going to wish you a great life and all that fluff as some people here are doing. I'm going to wish you the peace in your heart that you really need in your heart. But I'm also going to wish everyone the peace they need in response to your post because everyone here is struggling with some psychological issue or they wouldn't be here. Just remember, don't become too identified with any diagnosis that you have received. Another words you could or could not be that diagnosis and of course you're not a diagnosis, your human being first. Do the best you can with your symptoms but try not to have people see you as a disorder including the people right now giving you " hope you have a wonderful life" stuff cuz no one has struggles contentment is what we and others really want for ourselves and you being okay with yourself. Everybody struggling with some mental health disorder whether it interferes with their functional life or doesn't you just happen to have the courage to come out with it. From that, I believe without knowing you personally that you are probably further along than those people who are complimenting you and that includes me because at least you have the courage to be okay with people knowing this about you.. remember you are not defined by this disorder. Remember you are not flawed or you are not less than anyone here,.. you are as equal as everyone on this forum. Some of the people wishing you well actually show signs of histrionic and have features of borderline and they are probably not owning to share that. They are too embarrassed and ashamed. So congratulations on being able to rise above any shame or embarrassment here. I know I couldn't be that transparent in my life, ...so therefore you're further along than most people, including me. 👍
Dr Ramani’s opera impression 😂 she’s so good at explaining in detail each disorder, so easier to understand than any other sites, thank you for this amazing insight x
Update: You got the "with no audience we don't exist" SPOT ON!!!! I have HPD with BPD traits! I'm excited to see this later when I have time! I'm hoping that you delve into the core reason for HPD people's suffering: We can't see ourselves internally. We don't have a functioning internal sense of self and because of that we rely on external sources for our self esteem. Attention fuels us. If I spend an hour without positive attention my mood crashes and I feel like I'm blending in the walls and I cannot function. Its a terrible feeling. And living alone is torture. I've noticed that with NPD you tend to talk more about the partners of NPD people rather than the suffering of the person with NPD themselves. But I'm hoping you really delve into the reasons behind the behaviors us HPDs exhibit.
People around cluster Bs suffer too. Their suffering are no less than cluster Bs and I would say more so especially if they are confused and trauma-bonded. Dr Ramani's primary focus is to to help people suffering from narcissistic abuse and it's 100 percent her perogative to focus on that instead of something else. She sure as hell didn't just talk about the partners of NPDs, she does way more than that. Besides, HPD is different from NPD, I'm sure you can find someone else to give your HPD the attention you desire.
@@captlanc Hi there! I'm so sorry to hear that you feel I invalidated the experience of people in clusterB people's lives. All feelings and experiences are valid. Of course it is up to Dr. Ramani to choose what she wants to focus on! However, I am also allowed to express that I feel that there should be more videos focusing on truly trying to understand those with PDs that include information that could help them in their healing journey. I'm not my HPD, its only a part of my experience. Even people with PDs have personalities and values that are valuable to the world! I hope you have a lovely day and can do something that makes you happy!
@@michelleamaya6446 As far as I know there's no clear cut cure but working in therapy on developing an internal sense of self is the closest that I know of! Which is easier said than done.
That sounds just like my mother! She also has severe hoarding disorder. I have noticed, though, that as she gets older, her behaviors get progressively easier to deal with, and overall less of the behaviors are present/noticeable. She is almost 70. It's much easier to interact with her now than before. It took her a very long time to mature.
@@olivegoddess1 Thanks for telling your story. I’ve been a toxic mom, and I’m working very hard on changing. Thanks for being empathetic to your mom. May you have everything you need in life, and May life exceed your expectations.
I’m a nurse. One night a pt in a semi private room was walking back from the bathroom, had a heart attack & immediately was being coded, chest compressions & the whole bit while on a back board on the floor. Meanwhile the pt in the other bed was watching all of this, & as the nurse was doing chest compressions he was yelling @ her “Where’s my oatmeal?! You didn’t bring me my oatmeal yet & you said you would!!” No joke. The pt lived. Happy ending. I watch these shows trying to get compassion & be therapeutic with these “Hey it’s all about me people.” But I’ve gotta tell ya; it’s hard. To me they’re monsters. Thank you for the program. I love it!
Thank you so much for this my ex, who I know wholeheartedly is on the dark triad, used to accuse me of having this and borderline for **reacting** to his stonewalling, gaslighting, head games, and psychological torture. And of course they’re so good at getting into your head that I didn’t think there was something wrong with me so now I’m researching these disorders and this is 100% definitely not me. Crying or having a panic attack because someone hurt me immensely, kicked me when I was down, and refused to apologize isn’t histrionics. It’s a normal response to an abnormal situation.
@@devinbrinesI see is too difficult for you to acknowledge that she is a doctor! You must be one of those miserable envious narcissists she talks about so much. ✌🏽
You probably need to find a therapist, or individuals that do discuss it. Because I don't think she will ever discuss it. Most people don't discuss it, because they don't think it's real. Or simply not interested in the subject matter at all.
I find as a mother who has raised nine children and has seen many kids being raised throughout my life that a lot of these personalities are manifested from lack of proper parenting and it moves into their adult lives until the issues are dealt with.
@Chris G I wholeheartedly agree. I think we've progressed enough in our understanding of mental illness to have to fall back on the outdated trope of blaming everything on parenting. Sure, it can be a contributing or aggravating factor in someone already predisposed but I think our current understanding of the brain recognises the complexities of human development and intertwined relationship between nature versus nurture.
@Chris G being raised in the same household doesn’t mean each child is living the same experience. Every kid has their own temperament etc from the beginning, and the way adults respond to each child will differ depending on things like that.
@Babs Kaz same. I was threatened with foster care so much over literally nothing that I actually started wanting to go live somewhere else, even though I was told they would “make sure” I’m “put with a family who is WAY worse” than they are
@Chris G a lot of parents will raise differently. My younger brothers weren't given the weird religious teachings I was. But family and parents always see the surface
1. Uncomfortable if NOT the center of attention (usually how they look.) “Peacock on a treadmill.” 2. Seductive: how they talk about things, flirtatious with both sexes. (It’s also a seduction disorder.) 3. Shifting emotions. Shallow is their baseline. Can respond immediately, superficially to diff demands. 4. They value appearance of their friends/cohorts, as well as themselves. How you make them look. 5. Highly impressionistic with no details (word salads served daily.) They talk ephemerally, vaguely. They’re not clear on their own motives/motivations. 6. Dramatic! Exaggeration of emotions. Lack of insight with big, big gestures. Makes people feel overwhelmed. 7. Suggestible, childlike. Not much critical thinking. They fall for scams that are self-serving “$10,000 to let my demons go, and I fly higher.” 8. Overestimation of intimacy. They think people are much closer to them than they really are. Like the person who meets Serena Williams and then tells everyone they are friends.
@@susanmercurio1060 Kamala Harris does word salads because she wants to dodge questions. I knew I did plenty of word salads in school when I didn't prepare for a presentation lol. Word salads are dodgy as fuck but not exclusive to cluster Bs. Kamala Harris is imo just another Hilary Clinton.
I love you both - Dr. Ramani is incredible and shining light on something HUGE - I think these personality disorders (cluster B) are at the root of much of the abuse and domestic violence and exploitation we see in the world.
I’ve suffered narc abuse & alcoholism in both parents and my exhusband. I would wake up everyday severely depressed everyday but i would pull and push myself through- marijuana, nicotine, caffeine. By the time i got to work i was so relieved and happy to be there with people who were so much kinder to me than at home. i loved people from a Gods Love perspective, but burned so many times. I held it as a moral to be kind no matter my circumstances , to be humble, and i treated people like you never know what someones going through so Kindness yes. A hard worker. I think oftentime people would be skeptical of me being too nice. But im just horrified at how unkind others are really.
I can see why people don't like you. Tbh I think you sound superficial and hide tidy. I would leave out religion, people are realizing that religion is dangerous.
................................. [QUOTE]"Evil" is the anthesis to the virtue 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-Darwinism'![/QUOTE] ................................. Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality'). I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!! They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till. ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition). SUMMARY Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b) [Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL). ☝ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___ #Save_Soil
Pretty amazing that you still have that kind outlook on life after what you’ve been through. I used to be like that, but life and society made me a lot colder to people that aren’t my close relatives. How were you able to stay so kind after all those experiences?
As a hairstylist of 20yrs. I have to deal with a lot of these personality problems 😪. It is very draining. Especially when I spend a lot of hours with them😣
Do you meditate? What helps you to decompress? 20 years is a lotta experience, and it seems it does weigh on you, but I’m just wondering what you’ve personally found to be helpful.
One of my Aunt's was a Hairstylist for many years and she declared that you had to be practically a PSYCHOLOGIST in order to cater to their clients ego (in order to get a good tip)...?? 🤔😆🤣🙃✌
@@Astrid_Grace no I don't. I need to! I've been setting some tough/hardcore boundaries with my clients, that's has weeded out most of the trouble makers(narcs). But there's still a few lingering 😒
This describes my husband quite a bit. I’ve been trying to figure him out for over 30 years and after he had an affair everything blew up and now I question everything that I thought we had between us. He’s always been an avoidant personality, withholding affection, sex and intimacy in any form. I wondered if he was a narcissist because everything was about him and peoples perception of him. Since we’ve been in recovery therapy, I’ve discovered that he’s not aware of himself or what he feels or why he does the behaviors he does. He gives grandiose gifts but can’t seem to understand repair, restitution, remorse or compassion. He doesn’t process the deeper thought processes or even seem to understand it. When he’s trying to talk about his feelings or our conflicts, he uses “catch phrases”, clichés or a superficial understanding of something we just learned about relationships but it’s all vague and flowery but doesn’t really convey any deep thoughts. He reminds of the “Dexter” character who tries to act like he’s normal but isn’t sure what that means. I often wondered why he never seemed to grow or learn anything in all of our years together. He also can’t learn from his mistakes and keeps doing things the same way expecting a different result. He can show me a profound meme or article and 2 weeks later, shows me again as if seeing it for the first time! Yet, he can’t apply it to his life. When I was trying to get him to explain to me why he cheated, he blamed the influence of the internet or TV or movies or guys at work! Really? He’s that easily influenced? He used to be the guy who would dump a friend if he found out that the friend cheated on his wife or girlfriend because he was so against it! Then one day,he became “that guy”! He decided that I didn’t want to be married to him anymore and began to pursue someone else. He never asked me about it or discussed it. Yet he hid it, lied about it, covered it up and pretended nothing was going on. He had been betrayed by his first wife and never processed his feelings about it. Just moved on with his life. He gets thoughts in his head but doesn’t challenge it to determine if it’s true. He just goes with it. Even if it doesn’t seem to match the evidence in front of him. He gets jealous of my relationship with our daughter if she’s getting more attention than him but finds numerous ways to push us away. He uses passive aggressive behaviors, gaslighting, manipulation to get his way or to get what he wants without any concern about who he hurts. He’s all about appearances and looking like he’s the good guy, the good provider but withholds emotional attachment. And yet he had an emotional affair! I’m so confused! What I have learned is he’s shallow, doesn’t learn or grow, doesn’t question things or thoughts or ask himself if his random thoughts are true or support the evidence in front of him. He’s now 65 years old and has no clue who he is. No clue of how to fix what he’s broken or even that he needs to!
I felt like I was reading about my own life. I am recently divorced after 25 years and now realize those years were a lie. It's like the whole family life I built was all conjured up in my head. What feels strange is that I can't mourn something that never was. I have discovered recently though, through therapy, that the reason I may have been attracted to my husband, is because my mother was a narcissist. That my mother was a narcissist was another revelation. I could never quite put my finger on our troubled relationship. I wish I had been more aware of all this when I was younger.
@@ItsAllBeenDecided Unfortunately, we don’t know what we don’t know until we learn to know it! I’m well read and intelligent but I’ve never known people who can fly under the radar for so long and be this dysfunctional. You never really know anybody. Especially, if they don’t really know themselves!
Me too...it's combination of several things, like Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, you add alchohol or other outside influence per say, mother in law or aunt's etc, it becomes full blown TOXIC because the Narc/Borderline wants to look good or play victims, when it is the other way around, the VICTIM who is confused and broken from being controlled by other's to keep peace, RUNS away from the toxic people who enabled the dark traid people in the first place....What happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh, the tests proving how much is your love for them gets old.....it becomes too much to deal with..
She's quite a powerhouse of insight - and so is he! He's a brilliant interviewer - I absolutely love it when they grant us a video of their discussions! It should be so very welcome for anyone who should like to understand themselves - and their loved ones! ❤️
................................. "Evil" is the anthesis to the virtue 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-Darwinism'! .................................
Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality'). I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!! They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till. ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition). SUMMARY: Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b) [Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL). ☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___________ #Save_Soil
Thank you for using these videos! I've been both a health sciences student and a patient and I've noticed there can be an institutionalisation in health sciences where people will use only certain sources-approved books, journals etc but sources aimed at lay people can be super and are so important. I find Dr Ramani's videos great
Yup dr. ramani is excellent. Had a therapist say some bad advice to me overhere and I can't help wonder about the difference in psychologists. I've recently found out they are all academically sound.
If anyone wants to know what it's like having a relationship with one of these people- keeping a relationship with one of them means they know they can come to you for the attention supply they're looking for and will only reach out to you when they're looking for that attention.
Dr Ramani has helped me see who my partners and friends were in our relationships, as well as myself. It’s very eye opening. Thank you for your effective contributions to the social media sphere. We need it in a world where ANYONE can start an account on ANY platform.
In my anorexia days when I was in my 20s, I had a friend pick me as a bridesmaid because I was a size 2…thanks for answering that one for me, Dr. Ramani.
This was eye opening! I dated someone like this for a couple months and it was so confusing and dysregulating for me… this really helped me make some sense of what was going on there. Thank you for these videos! 🙏
This is my sister. She can’t really pull off the appearance stuff, so she goes in a different direction. Telling her childbirth stories (overly dramatized with some straight up lies) during the sit down dinner at a dinner party. Holding court. Going on business trips to the middle of nowhere, and somehow she would sit next to Catherine Zeta Jones in a restaurant, and Angelina Jolie on the airplane. Grandiose, compulsive liar. The closeness/intimacy thing - omg yes. I’m been NC with her and my mother (narcissistic borderline) since Christmas, 2015. Literally ZERO contact. On my birthday in May 2018, she made a very visible, flowery post on my Facebook page: “While we don’t always talk…”. Seriously? She makes my skin crawl. Shallow as a teaspoon.
Wow! I am always fascinated by people who are obviously compulsive liars; you just know they are making up their meeting of famous people, grandiose experiences, over and over, never a dull moment in their lives! Reading your comment though gave me gratitude that none of these people are family, and I could easily avoid them if I wanted to, but I am glad you are able to deal with them in your life. I hope things continue to go well for you with the NC.
@@cpwood3506 my ex was going to take me to Paris for 10 days when he was scheduled to be recognized at his old school. Never heard another word about it.
Sister has had this for 35 years. Exhausting for everyone -- parents, sister, children, and husband. Have watched her quit everything in her life -- multiple jobs, colleges, adoptions, churches, etc. Explosive emotions and gets furioius if folks don't listen to her stories.
Love this channel...psych RN here...histrionic seems to have connection to narcissistic PD as well....great discussions...thank you all...the seductiveness aspect is really interesting and a way to differentiate...
My wife and I have had couples' counseling a few times in our 54 year marriage and my very first question BEFORE the first session starts is, "Do you do directive counseling?" If the answer is 'yes' I tell them that I expect directive counseling to begin by at least the 4th session. I have absolutely no patience with non-directive counseling. I'm not paying money to figure out my own problems. If I could do that I would not be there in the first place.
Thank you, I did not know there was a proper term for a counselor that gives you real insight and education. Directive counseling, how did you become aware of this type of counseling?
I described some of my unhelpful experiences with counsellors when I started my current one. She said oh that sounds like the "non-directive" form - that's not my style. I was like OH (now it makes sense!) and was so glad. She's the one for me! Still seeing her
I predominately do DBT, which is directive. However, there is also room for client-centered/non-directive. It all depends on the needs/desires of the client. There isn't a one-size-fits-all therapy routine. Regarding "figuring out your own problems," non-directive therapy does not do that. Non-directive therapy's focus is to allow you, as the client, to create your own goals for therapy and work together with the therapist to achieve them. Therapists should not give advice; their job is not to solve your problems. Therapy is work for both client and therapist - but mostly for the client. It is up to the client if they choose to put in the effort to get better. I can't work any harder than my client does.
This video and chat session has brought me so much comfort, I cannot begin to thank you enough. I have been accused of being histrionic, and because I do love vintage clothes, have a background in theater, and an outgoing social personality, the cursory online descriptions I read really gave me pause. Could I be this??? Could my emotional responses to several loved ones I believe to be narcissists actually be my own personality disorder? Watching this allowed me to breathe easier. I do know someone who fits this to a T, and I appreciate the decent and empathetic way the discussion handled it, because I don’t think she has any ill will in her at all. But this in-depth analysis clarified what this disorder really looks like, and showy clothes and being talkative isn’t the whole picture. ❤️ Through your other videos, I have realized that my fear of being “too much” (based on some childhood bullying and a narcissistic father) are being exploited by a narcissist in my life. When I say I will rest easier after having watched this, I mean it. I have been ruminating on this a lot in that quiet time. So again, thank you for this much-needed clarity.
I’m very encouraged by your comment! Those of us that are “too much” seem to hold a mirror up to these people’s faces and they have to control what they see. You’re awesome, but not too awesome😉
I’m very encouraged by your comment! Those of us that are “too much” seem to hold a mirror up to these people’s faces and they have to control what they see. You’re awesome, but not too awesome😉
Thank you for this. I knew a woman once whom I definetly knew was "odd", in a way that was both very endearing and also quite confusing, even unsettling at times. We had an incredible chemistry together, and I ended out falling in love with her. Eventually I confessed my feelings to her. To make a long story short, she broke my heart, repeatedly, before I cut contact with her for good. Part of what made it so hard for me in the time afterwards was her erratic behavior, and my inability to understand what was going on inside her head. It was like there was two people inside her. One was a like a little child who had no control over her emotions or behavior, and the other was a perfectly normal adult who was ashamed of her behavior but also somewhat unable to acknowledge or even comprehend it. Like we met for dinner one time, and she told me something incredibly traumatic that she'd gone through. And I got very quiet and intense, because I was angry and hurt on her behalf. And she just stopped mid-sentence, looked at me and went all "Awwww!", and she took my hand and was suddenly all smiling and happy. And it was so incredibly confusing. Like, were did all that pain go? And why is my display of compassion being met with a reaction more appropriate for a cute puppy video? Like her emotions weren't fake - just bizarre. Watching this video and reading up on Histrionic Personality Disorder has really given me a lot of closure. I'm not an expert, and I'm in no way unbiased, it's just that a lot of the traits you describe here really fit with how I experienced her to be - the "teenage girl" like immaturity and lack of insight into why she was doing the things she did, the weird and overblown anecdotes, the inappropriately seductive behavior and extreme concern with her own looks, and also a lack of sincere self-worth and depression. I think (maybe hope?) that she is in some way perfectly aware that there's something wrong with her. I hope that she can change or at least learn to manage her problems. Because part of what drew me to her was that I felt like there was a lot of suffering underneath all the flirting and the happy-flappy attitude. She never struck me as a happy person.
You met a histrionic woman.they don't change.yes they are child one moment then they switch to a matured like behaviour in a second..their emotions also change quickly.they present themselves to be so happy around public but inside they are dead lonely and hurt.but I m reminding you very dangerous in nature.they will play mindgames like nothing.
Oh wow I’ve never heard of this one before 😭 I would usually describe people like this as narcissists but I guess they’re more than that. I always just figured people are like this because they’re insecure but maybe they literally can’t go any deeper. I’ve met many people that I’ve noticed were off and I just didn’t like them. I could feel something was off and I could not understand why they were so magnetic to other people while, me being a sensitive person, would be repelled by them so deeply. These people are just so insincere I could feel the condescension oozing off of their faces. I’m glad I’m more aware of this :)
Seems to be a lot of overlap with the superficiality, huh? I was thinking the same thing. I think a distinguishing characteristic is that histrionics seem to be a lot more agreeable, whereas narcissists are more antagonistic.
It’s good you have a good intuition. But it’s also good I think to learn about these different personality disorders, so we can kind of see the person behind the disorder as it were. And it doesn’t become so set in stone that that person just sucks or something. However while they are not that good for the people around them it is understandable to be weary.
@@ellecrescent9834 yeah that’s why I thought this video was so interesting cuz I would usually just think those types of people are bad and just chalk em up to doing it on purpose :) But I guess it’s like kids some of em do weird things on accident and since they’re kids you’re like ‘oh whatever’ but true it’s always good to know to have more sympathy but also alert of behaviors
I am a super introspective Cluster B, who has self-diagnosed with Vulnerable NPD. Sought my way into getting a proper diagnosis far and wide (live in a rural area) and got it. So there are some of us with insights, and with highly developed conscience leading to seeking the truth.
The chicken and the egg question comes to mind. This personality disorder is fed and supported culturally - even those who grow up with a relatively healthy family fall prey to it. Social media certainly plays a big role, but the insidious pressure to be an extrovert, to be successful with material gain, breeds these mindsets. I love how Dr. Ramani points out that this is not a gender-limited issue, that it's just how it presents differently.
When social media entered the scene, these personality disorders emerged exponentially…aided by the “selfie”, an array of filters, a followers count, the “Like” button, etc… even dormant traits flourished!
Dr. Ramani thank you ❤ you are looking great, Radiant and healthy. You’ve helped me so much understanding myself living with BPD and Complex PTSD. I really appreciate your work. And thank you too Kyle you’re doing an amazing job. We all appreciate these videos
Great interview and a very intelligent guest who can describe difficult distinctions in plain language. Treating histrionics with compassion is what I cherished most for this video. They’re so easily made prey.
I see my sister in this. She cannot ever be alone and loves to have her 'fan club' around her. I cringe when she tells how she went out with a famous pop star when the reality is she briefly met him once years ago. She loves attention on social media and when our mother was dying she milked the sympathy for months. Even now on the anniversary of our mother's death there will be a post on Facebook and everyone will comment how they're sending love blah blah blah. She never even got on with our mother (who herself was a covert narcissist/sociopath). The apple didn't fall far as they say.
@sandisnow7043 sorry for delay in replying but only just seen your post. My sister is two years older than me. I went no contact about three years ago after she sent me a horrid text accusing me of stalking her on one of her Facebook groups. Life is peaceful now although it's sad when it's family but for the sake of my mental well-being I had to do it. Best wishes.
My sister too. She loves to explain very personal experiences and health issues on social media, on and on and on. So dramatic. And she gets her needs filled from the attention of her 'fans' being sympathetic to her. She lives for the attention. It's sad and very hard to witness.
"and sometimes people feel guilty, they're like 'omg, they're giving me a seven foot present, I should be nicer about this'.." and that smile Dr. Ramani cracks out made me laugh so hard tears were coming out 😅💚 Much love and appreciation!
so spot on. “when they r not in touch with their feelings they dont know what they are doing” cluster B. so spot on thank you. and there man too like that. like my husband. show off clothes watches etc. and nonstop flirting with everyone, especially girls as its easier to get their attention, and try to be so smooth with man, changing even his voice when in the presence of man.
I think that cocaine and alcohol are the perfect drugs for the histrionic. Spending time with musicians and those who surround them, I dealt with a whole lotta people just like this. I like people like that. I have a touch of that myself, I'm afraid. But you have to remember that you cannot (usually) count on them for anything. If something better comes along, they'll drop a date or an appointment and be off with that new opportunity. 🤨
OMG! My narcissistic famous aunt used to wear a cape ad a feather in her hat, and would enter the room with a regal swish and a grandiose pose. I wondered if she might've also been histrionic. Helpful info. Keep it up.
Wow! This is so my mother. Sad. I recently had to cut ties due to her not respecting boundaries and hanging out with my ex husband for some reason. She always has to be center of attention etc!! 🙄
I have BPD, and my ex has HPD. It was such a terrible breakup, the two of us. Me, insecure, always fearing she'd leave me. Her, manipulating that side of me, and then so easily switching up to someone else. Having to watch that unfold. Man...
I have relatives who have this disorder. They are theatrical, over the top, creating drama to make themselves relevant. They need attention. They have no loyalty, remorse, or a moral conscience. Charismatic yet shallow. As adult now I recognize their tactics, avoid them & run. Being around them is a no win situation in the long run.
Yikes, I hope people don’t judge me as a histrionic. I am 100% not one, because I don’t like attention. I’m a creative dresser. My style of clothing is eclectic and individual. (I also happen to work in the fashion industry.) I think it’s more important to assess people based on behavior, rather than appearances.
I think it’s wrong to assume that one who is into fashion and beauty is shallow and has a personality disorder. That’s an awful and jealous way to judge our fellow humans.
People who are into fashion is totally different, just like someone, like myself, who likes older cars and performance ones, I drive a Audi RS6 Avant and I don't care what people around me are thinking, just like your clothes, you do it for yourself, like my cars. It's a passion, not something I want others to notice.
I appreciate what she said when asked at the end about how histrionic personality disorder should be renamed superficial PD and how men have this disorder as well, albeit usually exhibiting attention seeking behaviors somewhat differently. However, alll of her examples in this entire interview leading up to that were feminine/those of women. I wish Dr. Ramani would examine her own bias that persists from a history of clinical psychology steeped in sexism and make efforts to correct the imbalance when giving behavioral examples.
Absolutely love the series on personality disorders by Dr. Ramani and Kyle. They both do a wonderful job of discussing the nuances of the disorders. My students find this series to be super helpful for their studies.
I've got a family member who is histrionic, and I've got a doozy. They came in late to another family member's funeral (who died very young of lung cancer), and stood up and sang a song BY THEMSELVES that had already been sung by the person who had been hired/asked/employed by the funeral home to sing. Hand to God ✋️
I'm definitely a big fan of histrionic clothing! My mother reacted hysterically and inappropriately to anything she thought was the slightest bit different from her way of thinking, she was also a princess. I'm leaning more toward narcissist, this is really hard because she made no sense to me. I'll keep listening and thinking, thank you!
I also think histrionic and narcissistic personalities overlap a lot... But based on what she said I guess the difference may be that the histrionic may be more naive.. as she discribed "more child-like" and be deceived.. while I guess the narcissist would be the one deceiving...
@@JulianaGockos Thanks, she had traits of a few things, maybe she was just a jealous ass and resentful, not sure yet, lol, but it would help to have the right description if I get a therapist. Combined with my dad it's no wonder I feel paralysed.
Only a formal evaluation would be enough for a proper diagnosis of course, but perhaps she exhibits traits of more than 1 "cluster B?" Sorry you had to be brought up with this, but you are definitely not alone! At least you have a sense of humor about it!
Basketball shorts 🩳 and a T-shirt. Yep. That’s me 😂. I really appreciate you two. Amazing healing dynamic. Thank you both. I comment regularly on Dr Ramani’s channel, and want you to know how grateful and thankful i am for your channel as well. 🙏
I met 3 people like this in grad school, they always acted like they were rich and were always sucking up to people and they irritate myself and my friend. They harassed us and other students who didn't want to give them any attention. To this day I am close to my friend since we both suffered a similar trauma that I had to go to the therapist for a year. I had to constantly build myself esteem from the ground up by going to therapy, reading self-help books, listening to calming music, and working-out. All of these activities helped me build my confidence and still do it to this day.
Im glad to have this video because I think I know someone like this. I also see some bits of it in myself and it’s given me ideas on what I should work on in myself. I want to be better with supporting my friends in tough times because I often find myself frozen and not knowing what to say or do…
After listening to Dr. Ramani's description(s) of the many faces of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I asked my wife to review one particular discussion, in which she suggested that Anthropologists wanting to study the great apes of the world go to Tanzania; those wishing to study the great Narcissists of the world go to Los Angeles, California; (we both graduated from the University of Southern California). For dinner that evening I served my wife two-scrumptious California round steaks, with a delicious vegetable genoch. She smiled and said: I'm from San Jose California. YOU are from Los Angeles, California. Yes I laughed long and hard at the Doctors comments regarding Los Angeles, and immediately thought of you, dear.
lived in LA for 9 years before moving on.. Yes narcissists in LA probably also Montecito... because of the entertainment industry... However California has no no monopoly. Washington D.C. may have a richer vein of narcissism...
I loved this video just as I love them all, but I have to chuckle a bit as well at the unintentionally-funny "fancy man shoes". It made me laugh when he said, "Fancy man shoes? I need to get me some of those!" lol I appreciate a video where those discussing serious topics can still be light and funny and jovial about it.
Thank you for this! I wasn’t familiar with the personality disorder. So interesting. I worked in the entertainment industry for years in NYC for years and these personality styles are very familiar to me! Have you considered siting examples of the various personality styles by characters in film, tv, literature, etc? Thank you again for your videos !! I look forward to many more!
I love Dr. R! Such a great communicator, & she naturally teaches as she’s defining & describing the disorders, scenarios, etc. This has been such an outlet for me, & it’s hard to explain why. I went through a horrific work situation in which a boss with either NPD or ASPD or a combo of these &/ or others… targeted me for almost 3 years. God gave me the strength necessary to get through it. If someone had told me I would have to go through that, I might’ve done something stupid (not un-aliving) but something. Somehow getting this information, being able to define his personality or personality disorder for some reason has really lifted some weight from me. I’m very grateful, so THANK YOU!!! Keep up the great work!! I can’t absorb enough!
“For 10 grand I’ll do that for you too” Dr. Ramani you’re such a comedian I love watching your videos you make it so interesting to listen to! Always get a laugh in despite serious subjects.
Can you talk about the overlap with narcissism? I remember in a previous video Dr Ramani said they were considering removing histrionic pd from the dsm cause it shared many traits with other cluster b disorders
I am not a psych professional, but from my observation Histrionic Personality does seem to be a variation of narcissism. But the distinguishing factor is that Histrionics will "take the dance floor" at any time, any place, and any cost. Dr. Ramani's comment about wearing something totally inappropriate at a funeral was a perfect example and one I actually experienced as a coworker of a Histrionic. Another thing, almost always a Histrionic will grab attention by demonstrating overwhelming sexuality, no matter if the setting is, for example, a serious business conference, e.g., clothing that is too abbreviated, sexualized responses, lascivious glances. There are other occasions where they simply grab the attention by seizing someone else's moment at a gathering, e.g., kissing someone else's fiance intimately at someone else's engagement party. One almost feels sorry for the Histrionic because their actions are almost continuously like that of a toddler who insists on blowing out the candles on someone else's birthday cake.
@@brindageorge701 see, this is all true but it showcases my problem with the construct of HPD: why would it be Cluster B then if it is only that? Honestly, screw narcissism, the way to understand histrionics is by reading up on PSYCHOPATHY. Once digging into real psychopathy (not ASPD, psychopathy), you will see HPD totally differently. also, narcissism has two major facettes, grandiose and vulnerable and HPD ACTS grandiose but IS vulnerable.
All of Cluster B has some elements of narcissism (self-centered & self-serving) behaviors. Egocentric people locked in to toddler-like stages of emotional development with tantrums when things don't go to their satisfaction. The "Histrionic" diagnosis does appear to be one of the more forgotten ones during this time period where being flamboyant is not so culturally unacceptable. However, Histrionic people can be dangerous when manipulative, erratic, or volatile and can make particularly bad parents if this is so.
I have a serious problem with having a diagnosis based on how someone dresses and how sexy and superficial they seem. Someone who is physically attractive and enjoys fashion could be misdiagnosed so easily, especially by a medical professional who only sees them for short visits which can feel performative to begin with as people often rehearse because of time limitations. Bright colors? Sexy clothes? That cannot be a professional diagnostic criteria as it is too subjective. It was written by people who don't understand that a creative person has a need and right to express themselves. The chance of mislabeling a creative, vibrant person who enjoys performing arts as a disorder seems so high to the point of discrimination of people who are different than what society deems as "normal". This is 2024, we can do better.
Except that wouldn't be nearly enough to qualify for a diagnosis. They have to meet five of the eight criteria to be diagnosed. Furthermore, there has to be a presence of their life being made worse, or them being in distress because of it.
Someone could be high fashion, flirty, extroverted, and enjoy being the center of attention and there's no way they'd be diagnosed. You're not getting the bigger picture of the disorder, which is what psychologists look at to diagnose.
Yeah this professional who has spent years studying, talking with patients, other doctors, other professionals has no clue what they are talking about 🙄 maybe listen to what she is saying and understand that being diagnosed with this, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. This is a start to recognizing self behavior and asking deeper questions. I understand we have google warriors today and think they know everything. Maybe you shouldn’t take this so personally and having this reaction. Seems like it “offends” you but a doctor isn’t conducting themselves just off of feelings. They have to be factual. Maybe ask yourself why this impacts you so much. It’s not like she made this video specifically for you, unless….
@@jorsh1908 this! The lack of bigger picture and intimate knowledge is also why I'm so bothered by people actually trying to diagnose celebrities online. Some of whom could as well be extremely calm and subdued in personal life, just putting on the show of vanity or mood swings and odd behaviors as a conscious choice for the money.
I appreciate the more in depth bpd analysis definitely identify with all traits of bpd but because I’m not as much chaotic, I don’t fit the criteria “because it’s not affecting everyday” it’s mild for me but I feel it creepy up & getting out of control as I get older, I came from a family scapegoating abuse that goes on till this day, never really learned healthy patterns of communicating & my emotions are just a giant wave & panic & rage, been in therapy for 8 years last year new therapist
Exhausting people to deal with. They're actually very needy and can throw you off balance and if you challenge them it's a thousand times worse. So you have to tiptoe around them. I had one of them staying in my house and I called her out on exaggerated attention seeking behaviour, because I was too tired to deal with it. She reacted very very badly. So badly she had to leave immediately after dragging everyone around her into a needless drama. Glad to be rid of her. Phew.
Although I'm not specialized in psychology but based on my reading experience of many books about psychology the main elements are... 1-the environment of your growing up with your parents 2- toxic people whom you are surround by 3- Ignorance by parents or no attention given which is the most important factor that lead him/her to deviate and start taking drugs or end up in the jail due to a crime Note: parents must listen to their children understand them and become their best company
I think histrionic personality disorder has two sides One of them is extremely good- these people will go to great lengths for a good cause (literally like fight for justice for a murdered/raped family member) The second side is dark because some of them will also go to great lengths for a bad cause or do horrible things Which side is more prominent in a person directly depends on what they choose to do or be I want people to talk about both sides.. it’s very reductive to classify a person as bad just because of a personality style
@@raz5003 okay... but BPD & ADHD aren't they different from PD? I thought so..BPD & ASHD cannot be called personality disorders they are just mental conditions and cannot have a toxic nature in personality..but PD creates lot of disturbances in the interpersonal relationships than intrapersonal
@@ChamayamAestheticMot Personality ‘disorder’ is diagnosed when something is problematic.. but in mainstream culture they are often misrepresented Personality style is wholistic and dependent on choice Professionals can make accurate judgment but masses can easily label people a certain way just because of a personality style- isolating the person even more and perpetuating the problem
Thanks Dr Ramani and Kyle... I found this video most enjoyable and informing, and I just love the way you two bounce off of each other when you Kyle ask questions and you Dr Ramani explain and then you share a back and forth discussion and collaborate. This really helps with clarity and conceptualising. Very amusing too 🙃😊🧐
Thanks so much, Dr. Ramani. There is so much of this stuff on social media - I have stopped interacting with everyone in those arenas. It just sucks the life force energy out of me and leaves me feeling nauseous.
Hey Doc. This Superficial Personality Disorder is also visible in a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What is the difference between the two? Maybe another video to differentiate between these 2 personalities please? Thank you for your great work as always!
Histrionics are not grandiose and they like negative attention too, example *you are no good and nothing but nut* they like that type of negative attention as well.
People with Histrionic or Superficial Personality Disorder don't think as critically and think they are closer to a person than people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do.
Narcissist rely of praise, admiration and the validation that they have more worth and value to a average person. Basic attention is useless and negitive attention is bad. Although both npd and hpd can be comorbid so it varys with people
Omg I love your analogies: “you’ve gotta let an adolescent bake before you pull it out of the oven.” I’m gonna use that from now on in my sessions if you don’t mind; so witty but easy to understand! 😂😂
Dr Ramani makes an excellent point about the connotations of the term "histrionic". I really like her suggestion of Superficial Personality Disorder as an alternative, but I would also offer LA Personality Disorder as a contender too. Or perhaps Self-styled Instagram Influencer Personality Disorder? I feel that both perfectly encapsulate the type of person being described.
One major mistake histrionics make. You’ll hear them say I’m sick of people draining my energy. What they’re really saying is, I’m having difficulty in controlling that person/people. These people tend to be knowledgeable about several subjects, hence, the histrionic can’t keep up with them and feels like they’re being kicked off stage. When this happens, they start sulking, keep quiet and fold up into the fetal position.
I know a woman in her 80's who fits this, going out dancing or to dinner, dressed like she's in her 30's, flirting like she looks great, even though she doesn't. I've also seen more than one man treat her like she's gorgeous & young! I saw a photo of her in her 20's & she WAS gorgeous.
I feel like you can tell any disorder based on their root or core struggles! This is a huge identifier when I notice someone who has some kind of mental illness. Bpd is mostly a trauma developed disorder, like ptsd to the full extreme. Yes fear of abandoment. It can look like historanic but is not
I want to add some ways a man can be “histrionic “. My husband will never buy anything expensive or flamboyant. His flashy personality is not about looks, but he’ll seek to be the center of attention by trying to be funny, it doesn’t matter where he is, what the situation is. It could be a funeral. Often he’s too much. He’s loud and sometimes he even plays crazy. He’ll pick a squash at the supermarket and “seriously” pretend that he’s on the phone with a big wig and giving his advice on trading bonds. He can be perfectly normal if he wants and/or needs to be, but he says it’s boring.
I’m a big man and I have borderline personality disorder and I’m in love with a little woman who has histrionic personality disorder. We constantly fight and we instantly make up. We love each other completely and it’s exhausting but neither her or I would change a thing. We are not all evil
My ex was bpd and i'm hod. He and i needed space because our chemistry and tension was too high yet we were both not in the right headspaces. Although him and I don't speak it is very likely that we will run into eachother and rekindle since we live in the same neighbourhood and share lots of similar interests. I have purposely tried to avoid him of course to give him space by going against his work schedule but the temptation to 'bump' into him is wild. He was always so complimentary and i was always so patient and accepting of him. Bad mental health will ruin a lot of good things sadly
Oh dear… we are not here watching to vilify people with Cluster B disorders… we are here to learn how to cope and communicate because y’all can be overwhelming most of the time ❤ But we love someone like you and want to help or approach from a much more educated and compassionate place. I send much cheer and happy energy your way!
I think what’s amazing is the good Lord brings information into my life when mostly needed I was raised by a professional hard core Narcissist it’s actually been life threatening dealing with it and suffering from epilepsy that rolled into my life in my 30’s I have more seizures when I’m around her then anyone else stress and anxiety and not enough sleep are the main triggers that bring them on I think I was given a gift to protect my from stepping into a bad place and bad people I now think of my Medical problem is gift given to me, A Secretary alarm 🚨🙏🏻🙏🏻
Oh Johnny I do hope you seek proper medical evaluation and treatment for your seizure disorder. As you said, it can be a life-threatening prospect if left untreated. But even at the very least it can deprive you of valuable brain power as your brain is deprived of oxygen each time it occurs. 🙏 God Bless you and cut ties with all toxic people!
Get access to LIVE workshops with Dr. Ramani! *watch.medcircle.com*
I like how dr ramani talks about women wearing suggestive clothing to get attention, meanwhile she is wearing a low cut dress with her chest hanging out. Love it! DR. im single!!!!!
_Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality')_
I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till.
ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition).
SUMMARY:
Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b)
[Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL).
☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you. 🙏🏾
PS: ESFJ are Amber Heard behind the public mask.
___________
#Save_Soil
This disorder is basically ESFJ neuro-personality (neuro-psychology)! ESFJ are secretly Amber Heard behind the public mask! They are an evil/anti-human neuro-personality type!
They do not experience emotional-empathy as an 'instinct'! This includes genuine humanity and a moral compass!
European ESFJ invented racism! It is in their neuro-psychology! If you know how ESFJ bully (look up ESFJ narcissits and how they abuse), it's literally the same thing as 'racism'; same characteristics but on a larger scale!
Lastly, ALL ESFJ, ESFP/ISFP experience 'pathological HATE', it is their default emotional state, hence they are secretly emotionally-disturbed! They have a 'pathological disregard for rationality and reality' - this makes them unintelligent!
@@Augfordpdoggie Suggestive dress paired with many other traits. Cherry picking 1 or 2 out of a list of criteria does not meet a proper diagnosis For Histrionic personality disorder, or any disorder for that matter. What you're saying doesn't make any sense in regard to the topic at hand; however, your comment does bring attention to your own inability to focus on anything besides a woman's physical appearance, and how that relates to your own needs.... Sexist, I'd say. No surprise that you're single. 😂
Borderlines are very narcissistic yet have empathy unlike NPDs and psychos. They hurt but they also can be very thoughtful and mindful yet it’s like a thoughtlessness takes over in an instant.
When i was much younger I met a new girl at school. We were about 16. One day she came to my house to visit and my mother, who is normally the most unjudgmental person I know, immediately disliked her deeply. She explained to me that she was concerned because, as a parent you see each of your kids and their strengths and areas of vulnerability. With me she said, though it is a fine quality, I empathise and am a good listener. We had several battles over this other girl and one day my mother asked me: 'What role do you play for her? Where are YOU in this relationship?' I didn't quite understand and my mother said: 'You are her audience.' She was absolutely right. This girl was always in the midst of some epic trauma or dramatic experience, which she would talk about for days on end if I had let her.
The thing that really did it was that my father did not like her either and I was always very close to him. I'm fairly sure my mother set him up to drive us to wherever we were going so that he might get through to me.
From my mother I learned to ask: Where am I in this relationship?
From my father: What do we talk about?
If ALL they ever talk about is their emotional turmoil or intense stories, you are their audience. I tried once to re-direct the conversation to something of interest other than her problems and like a rubber band she pulled it right back to 'All about me me me and more drama and horror.' Within 5 minutes of her being around I would feel as if every drop of blood in my body had been sucked out. And that was the end of that.
@@sirmadam8183 me too, I wish someone had told me you are their audience when I was a teenager. What a perfect way of opening someone's eyes without talking badly about the other person.
I feeel this! At about the same age, I met a girl who has since been diagnosed with bpd. When I heard that, I immediately felt, looking back that it's probably actually hpd. I know I can't diagnose and do sympathise as she has suffered a lot but everything was about attention and audience. This video describes her so well. When I drew boundaries, she rejected ME rather than desperately cling. I had to walk away. Her clique who she controlled were kinda shallow too so ditched me when I walked away but although lonely, I was better off.
I had a friend whose favourite subject was herself...
Perfect... and I get it, having been sucked in myself. Good we learned.
It seems to me that you portray her as a villain b/c she was talking a lot about trauma. Trauma is NOT a drama, what histrionic & BPD mostly display. You also mentioned being yourself as an empathic person. Sorry, as a psychotherapist I don’t see it that way, neither in you, nor in your parents. It seems your parents were hovering over you, so, God forbid, no one burdened your sift aristocratic psyche with their sad emotions. I actually think it was a blessing for the other girl not to associate with you! And I won’t be surprised at all if you are a histrionic yourself! You don’t seem concerned with the fact that you gossip about someone else’s life with your name fully available for everyone to see it!
I have HPD and BPD. My therapist calls it borderline with Histrionic tendencies. I have a favorite person but I constantly want attention from everyone. I’ll actually use my SO in a way to get attention from others. Like “look how much I love him and adore him.” I go between deep emotions and shallow emotions. I’ll mirror the emotion of someone else and not feel a thing, then the next moment I’ll feel a true emotion and feel it to my core. My appearance is my existence. I always look my best and put on my “model persona” when I walk into a room. I went to a wedding once in a full on gown not even aware I’d look like I was trying to take the attention of the bride. The only reason I’m aware now is because I’ve been in therapy for 5 years. I’m still very much histrionic and borderline, but my awareness helps me not be so self centered in my approach to things.
How has it effected your relationships?
Hey thank you so much for sharing, I hope you're having a great life 🤗
Best wishes and take a lot of compassionate care of yourself. No one else has as much to lose in the whole thing.
Very self aware and keep working on yourself. 5 years of therapy allready is a great accomplished. Wishing you well ❤
It takes a lot of power and to be able to say what you said and come out with this in a public forum. I'm not going to wish you a great life and all that fluff as some people here are doing. I'm going to wish you the peace in your heart that you really need in your heart. But I'm also going to wish everyone the peace they need in response to your post because everyone here is struggling with some psychological issue or they wouldn't be here. Just remember, don't become too identified with any diagnosis that you have received. Another words you could or could not be that diagnosis and of course you're not a diagnosis, your human being first. Do the best you can with your symptoms but try not to have people see you as a disorder including the people right now giving you " hope you have a wonderful life" stuff cuz no one has struggles contentment is what we and others really want for ourselves and you being okay with yourself. Everybody struggling with some mental health disorder whether it interferes with their functional life or doesn't you just happen to have the courage to come out with it. From that, I believe without knowing you personally that you are probably further along than those people who are complimenting you and that includes me because at least you have the courage to be okay with people knowing this about you.. remember you are not defined by this disorder. Remember you are not flawed or you are not less than anyone here,.. you are as equal as everyone on this forum. Some of the people wishing you well actually show signs of histrionic and have features of borderline and they are probably not owning to share that. They are too embarrassed and ashamed. So congratulations on being able to rise above any shame or embarrassment here. I know I couldn't be that transparent in my life, ...so therefore you're further along than most people, including me. 👍
Dr Ramani’s opera impression 😂 she’s so good at explaining in detail each disorder, so easier to understand than any other sites, thank you for this amazing insight x
Thanks for supporting mental health education!
Don't insult Dr. Ramani like that. Tsk tsk.
omg, I want to see a Med Circle's Therapy Musical!! It would be awesome 😍
@@kailemarie6021 I’m sorry I don’t understand what I said that was insulting ? X
She's so amazing 😇
Update: You got the "with no audience we don't exist" SPOT ON!!!!
I have HPD with BPD traits! I'm excited to see this later when I have time! I'm hoping that you delve into the core reason for HPD people's suffering: We can't see ourselves internally. We don't have a functioning internal sense of self and because of that we rely on external sources for our self esteem. Attention fuels us. If I spend an hour without positive attention my mood crashes and I feel like I'm blending in the walls and I cannot function. Its a terrible feeling. And living alone is torture. I've noticed that with NPD you tend to talk more about the partners of NPD people rather than the suffering of the person with NPD themselves. But I'm hoping you really delve into the reasons behind the behaviors us HPDs exhibit.
I would also love the insight
People around cluster Bs suffer too. Their suffering are no less than cluster Bs and I would say more so especially if they are confused and trauma-bonded. Dr Ramani's primary focus is to to help people suffering from narcissistic abuse and it's 100 percent her perogative to focus on that instead of something else. She sure as hell didn't just talk about the partners of NPDs, she does way more than that. Besides, HPD is different from NPD, I'm sure you can find someone else to give your HPD the attention you desire.
@@captlanc Hi there! I'm so sorry to hear that you feel I invalidated the experience of people in clusterB people's lives. All feelings and experiences are valid. Of course it is up to Dr. Ramani to choose what she wants to focus on! However, I am also allowed to express that I feel that there should be more videos focusing on truly trying to understand those with PDs that include information that could help them in their healing journey. I'm not my HPD, its only a part of my experience. Even people with PDs have personalities and values that are valuable to the world! I hope you have a lovely day and can do something that makes you happy!
I’m really sorry that sounds exhausting! I don’t want or need attention cause why would I? But I wonder if their is a cure for that?
@@michelleamaya6446 As far as I know there's no clear cut cure but working in therapy on developing an internal sense of self is the closest that I know of! Which is easier said than done.
My mom was/is HPD and covert NPD. Suffice it to say, it was exhausting and miserable. Enjoyed this explanation.
Same. All the fake crying because she hid something in order to blame someone else for losing or stealing it.🙄
My mom's a covert narcissist, she's not talking to me anymore, ever since I called her out, oops.
@@juliethorne1247 It's awesome that you stood up for yourself and spoke your truth! I wish you all the peace and healing :)
That sounds just like my mother! She also has severe hoarding disorder. I have noticed, though, that as she gets older, her behaviors get progressively easier to deal with, and overall less of the behaviors are present/noticeable. She is almost 70. It's much easier to interact with her now than before. It took her a very long time to mature.
@@olivegoddess1 Thanks for telling your story. I’ve been a toxic mom, and I’m working very hard on changing. Thanks for being empathetic to your mom. May you have everything you need in life, and May life exceed your expectations.
I love the chemistry between Kyle and Dr. Ramani- best duo on this channel!
sssst quiet!
sure, she's a cupcake
Um… I thought bro was gay. ( totally supportive of lgbtq) just saying though…
@@jaynebarry5658 I’m saying their chemistry as co-hosts/friends lol. Yes, I do believe Kyle is gay.
@@kamilaford5752 I appreciate the give and take between them as well.
I’m a nurse. One night a pt in a semi private room was walking back from the bathroom, had a heart attack & immediately was being coded, chest compressions & the whole bit while on a back board on the floor. Meanwhile the pt in the other bed was watching all of this, & as the nurse was doing chest compressions he was yelling @ her “Where’s my oatmeal?! You didn’t bring me my oatmeal yet & you said you would!!” No joke. The pt lived. Happy ending. I watch these shows trying to get compassion & be therapeutic with these “Hey it’s all about me people.” But I’ve gotta tell ya; it’s hard. To me they’re monsters. Thank you for the program. I love it!
What is a PT? a patient?
@@SmooveBee1physical therapist
Sounds more NPD? But omg, so much emotional energy over oatmeal? (Not really about the oatmeal but still, lol).
@@SmooveBee1 yes
I wish all people in trouble and pain could get someone as Dr Ramani to calm their worried minds. She is just amazing! 😎
She comes off as a narc
Thank you so much for this my ex, who I know wholeheartedly is on the dark triad, used to accuse me of having this and borderline for **reacting** to his stonewalling, gaslighting, head games, and psychological torture. And of course they’re so good at getting into your head that I didn’t think there was something wrong with me so now I’m researching these disorders and this is 100% definitely not me.
Crying or having a panic attack because someone hurt me immensely, kicked me when I was down, and refused to apologize isn’t histrionics. It’s a normal response to an abnormal situation.
I really love Dr. Ramani, she's helped me so so much to destigmatize my BPD, and to understand my mother's histrionic, narcissistic behavior.
Ramani, the fact that you act out these things a little bit in the voice of the histrionic person is really helpful.
Dr. Ramani! Not " Ramani"
@@lisajohnson1627 Whatever mom 😂 I'll talk how I want to talk
You can mind your own business 💝
@@devinbrinesI see is too difficult for you to acknowledge that she is a doctor! You must be one of those miserable envious narcissists she talks about so much. ✌🏽
Can you please do a series on religious trauma 🙏 I don't think it's being discussed a lot and yet there are many suffering from it
Ya. How about children who have grown up in Masonic occults? Definitely traumatic.
@@mscraig5147 Dr Ramani has a series on narcissistic leaders in cult with Flor Edwards on MedCircle.
Amen! It's real!
You probably need to find a therapist, or individuals that do discuss it. Because I don't think she will ever discuss it. Most people don't discuss it, because they don't think it's real. Or simply not interested in the subject matter at all.
@@ladennayoung2939 not just that. It's also bc of the controversy around the subject 😶
I find as a mother who has raised nine children and has seen many kids being raised throughout my life that a lot of these personalities are manifested from lack of proper parenting and it moves into their adult lives until the issues are dealt with.
@Chris G I wholeheartedly agree. I think we've progressed enough in our understanding of mental illness to have to fall back on the outdated trope of blaming everything on parenting. Sure, it can be a contributing or aggravating factor in someone already predisposed but I think our current understanding of the brain recognises the complexities of human development and intertwined relationship between nature versus nurture.
9 children? 😳
@Chris G being raised in the same household doesn’t mean each child is living the same experience. Every kid has their own temperament etc from the beginning, and the way adults respond to each child will differ depending on things like that.
@Babs Kaz same. I was threatened with foster care so much over literally nothing that I actually started wanting to go live somewhere else, even though I was told they would “make sure” I’m “put with a family who is WAY worse” than they are
@Chris G a lot of parents will raise differently. My younger brothers weren't given the weird religious teachings I was. But family and parents always see the surface
1. Uncomfortable if NOT the center of attention (usually how they look.) “Peacock on a treadmill.”
2. Seductive: how they talk about things, flirtatious with both sexes. (It’s also a seduction disorder.)
3. Shifting emotions. Shallow is their baseline. Can respond immediately, superficially to diff demands.
4. They value appearance of their friends/cohorts, as well as themselves. How you make them look.
5. Highly impressionistic with no details (word salads served daily.) They talk ephemerally, vaguely. They’re not clear on their own motives/motivations.
6. Dramatic! Exaggeration of emotions. Lack of insight with big, big gestures. Makes people feel overwhelmed.
7. Suggestible, childlike. Not much critical thinking. They fall for scams that are self-serving “$10,000 to let my demons go, and I fly higher.”
8. Overestimation of intimacy. They think people are much closer to them than they really are. Like the person who meets Serena Williams and then tells everyone they are friends.
#5 Sounds like Kamala Harris and her word salads
My mom has some
@SchwarzWeiße Wand I just don’t feel like I have grown up with a mother.
@@susanmercurio1060 Kamala Harris does word salads because she wants to dodge questions. I knew I did plenty of word salads in school when I didn't prepare for a presentation lol. Word salads are dodgy as fuck but not exclusive to cluster Bs. Kamala Harris is imo just another Hilary Clinton.
Thank you for this very informative information
Its interesting to think about how this disorder is sort of commonly used as a "character trope" in a lot of TV shows.
Wow
Yeah! When she talked about the male Histrionic Personality, I immediatley thought "Barney Stinson"
I was thinking about Blanche Devereaux
The girl.in MEAN GIRLS.
@@TheNaphisa03 regina george?
I love you both - Dr. Ramani is incredible and shining light on something HUGE - I think these personality disorders (cluster B) are at the root of much of the abuse and domestic violence and exploitation we see in the world.
Dr Ramani (I apologize if that spelling isn’t correct I suck at spelling) is a national treasure and must be protected
Lol yes, I agree 👍
Hahahahaha this is a hilarious comment that made me laugh out loud and the best part is that it’s true!
I’ve suffered narc abuse & alcoholism in both parents and my exhusband. I would wake up everyday severely depressed everyday but i would pull and push myself through- marijuana, nicotine, caffeine. By the time i got to work i was so relieved and happy to be there with people who were so much kinder to me than at home. i loved people from a Gods Love perspective, but burned so many times. I held it as a moral to be kind no matter my circumstances , to be humble, and i treated people like you never know what someones going through so Kindness yes. A hard worker. I think oftentime people would be skeptical of me being too nice. But im just horrified at how unkind others are really.
I can see why people don't like you. Tbh I think you sound superficial and hide tidy. I would leave out religion, people are realizing that religion is dangerous.
I hear you people become suspicious be because your consistently kind
.................................
[QUOTE]"Evil" is the anthesis to the virtue 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-Darwinism'![/QUOTE]
.................................
Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality').
I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her.
When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till.
ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition).
SUMMARY
Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b)
[Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL).
☝ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you.
___
#Save_Soil
Pretty amazing that you still have that kind outlook on life after what you’ve been through. I used to be like that, but life and society made me a lot colder to people that aren’t my close relatives. How were you able to stay so kind after all those experiences?
How do you/did you deal with the exhaustion?
As a hairstylist of 20yrs. I have to deal with a lot of these personality problems 😪. It is very draining. Especially when I spend a lot of hours with them😣
Do you meditate? What helps you to decompress? 20 years is a lotta experience, and it seems it does weigh on you, but I’m just wondering what you’ve personally found to be helpful.
Hairstylist = (Psychologist)... 🤔😆🤣✌
One of my Aunt's was a Hairstylist for many years and she declared that you had to be practically a PSYCHOLOGIST in order to cater to their clients ego (in order to get a good tip)...?? 🤔😆🤣🙃✌
@@Astrid_Grace no I don't. I need to! I've been setting some tough/hardcore boundaries with my clients, that's has weeded out most of the trouble makers(narcs). But there's still a few lingering 😒
Change your job 👍😉
This describes my husband quite a bit. I’ve been trying to figure him out for over 30 years and after he had an affair everything blew up and now I question everything that I thought we had between us. He’s always been an avoidant personality, withholding affection, sex and intimacy in any form. I wondered if he was a narcissist because everything was about him and peoples perception of him. Since we’ve been in recovery therapy, I’ve discovered that he’s not aware of himself or what he feels or why he does the behaviors he does. He gives grandiose gifts but can’t seem to understand repair, restitution, remorse or compassion. He doesn’t process the deeper thought processes or even seem to understand it. When he’s trying to talk about his feelings or our conflicts, he uses “catch phrases”, clichés or a superficial understanding of something we just learned about relationships but it’s all vague and flowery but doesn’t really convey any deep thoughts. He reminds of the “Dexter” character who tries to act like he’s normal but isn’t sure what that means. I often wondered why he never seemed to grow or learn anything in all of our years together. He also can’t learn from his mistakes and keeps doing things the same way expecting a different result. He can show me a profound meme or article and 2 weeks later, shows me again as if seeing it for the first time! Yet, he can’t apply it to his life. When I was trying to get him to explain to me why he cheated, he blamed the influence of the internet or TV or movies or guys at work! Really? He’s that easily influenced? He used to be the guy who would dump a friend if he found out that the friend cheated on his wife or girlfriend because he was so against it! Then one day,he became “that guy”! He decided that I didn’t want to be married to him anymore and began to pursue someone else. He never asked me about it or discussed it. Yet he hid it, lied about it, covered it up and pretended nothing was going on. He had been betrayed by his first wife and never processed his feelings about it. Just moved on with his life. He gets thoughts in his head but doesn’t challenge it to determine if it’s true. He just goes with it. Even if it doesn’t seem to match the evidence in front of him.
He gets jealous of my relationship with our daughter if she’s getting more attention than him but finds numerous ways to push us away. He uses passive aggressive behaviors, gaslighting, manipulation to get his way or to get what he wants without any concern about who he hurts. He’s all about appearances and looking like he’s the good guy, the good provider but withholds emotional attachment. And yet he had an emotional affair! I’m so confused! What I have learned is he’s shallow, doesn’t learn or grow, doesn’t question things or thoughts or ask himself if his random thoughts are true or support the evidence in front of him. He’s now 65 years old and has no clue who he is. No clue of how to fix what he’s broken or even that he needs to!
I can relate to your comment 👍
I felt like I was reading about my own life. I am recently divorced after 25 years and now realize those years were a lie. It's like the whole family life I built was all conjured up in my head. What feels strange is that I can't mourn something that never was. I have discovered recently though, through therapy, that the reason I may have been attracted to my husband, is because my mother was a narcissist. That my mother was a narcissist was another revelation. I could never quite put my finger on our troubled relationship. I wish I had been more aware of all this when I was younger.
@@ItsAllBeenDecided Unfortunately, we don’t know what we don’t know until we learn to know it! I’m well read and intelligent but I’ve never known people who can fly under the radar for so long and be this dysfunctional. You never really know anybody. Especially, if they don’t really know themselves!
Me too...it's combination of several things, like Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, you add alchohol or other outside influence per say, mother in law or aunt's etc, it becomes full blown TOXIC because the Narc/Borderline wants to look good or play victims, when it is the other way around, the VICTIM who is confused and broken from being controlled by other's to keep peace, RUNS away from the toxic people who enabled the dark traid people in the first place....What happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh, the tests proving how much is your love for them gets old.....it becomes too much to deal with..
sounds so much like my xnarc. I think he had this along with narcissism. I pity him but im so relieved to be free.
I’m studying mental health nursing, and find these descriptive videos so helpful! Thanks Dr. Ramani :)
Good luck
She's quite a powerhouse of insight - and so is he!
He's a brilliant interviewer - I absolutely love it when they grant us a video of their discussions! It should be so very welcome for anyone who should like to understand themselves - and their loved ones! ❤️
.................................
"Evil" is the anthesis to the virtue 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-Darwinism'!
.................................
Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality').
I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till.
ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition).
SUMMARY:
Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b)
[Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL).
☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you.
___________
#Save_Soil
Thank you for using these videos! I've been both a health sciences student and a patient and I've noticed there can be an institutionalisation in health sciences where people will use only certain sources-approved books, journals etc but sources aimed at lay people can be super and are so important. I find Dr Ramani's videos great
Dr. Ramani looks healthy and happier.
We are really grateful for the knowledge shared as well.
But had to mention that She looks sort of brighter.
Yup dr. ramani is excellent. Had a therapist say some bad advice to me overhere and I can't help wonder about the difference in psychologists. I've recently found out they are all academically sound.
Like Histrionic Personality :)
I'm glad I watched this one. The timing was spot on.
If anyone wants to know what it's like having a relationship with one of these people- keeping a relationship with one of them means they know they can come to you for the attention supply they're looking for and will only reach out to you when they're looking for that attention.
This is so accurate! Thanks
I am passive agressive so to handle that I will give them the silent treatment. Not the best ideal but its mines.
So when they don’t need your attention, they get it from someone else and just ignore you?
@@kayann3 That is my experience.. yes.
My mom absolutely suffers from this and narcissism. Just yesterday she made a scene at my daughters recital. It's the worst.
She is so articulate 💯
Congratulations on having her in the US of A. She's definitely excellent and I'm glad she's keeping you guys company.
Dr Ramani has helped me see who my partners and friends were in our relationships, as well as myself. It’s very eye opening. Thank you for your effective contributions to the social media sphere. We need it in a world where ANYONE can start an account on ANY platform.
In my anorexia days when I was in my 20s, I had a friend pick me as a bridesmaid because I was a size 2…thanks for answering that one for me, Dr. Ramani.
WOW!!!!!!
I had a friend chose me for a bridesmaid bc she thought I was attractive. I didn’t think I was.
This was eye opening! I dated someone like this for a couple months and it was so confusing and dysregulating for me… this really helped me make some sense of what was going on there. Thank you for these videos! 🙏
This is my sister. She can’t really pull off the appearance stuff, so she goes in a different direction. Telling her childbirth stories (overly dramatized with some straight up lies) during the sit down dinner at a dinner party. Holding court. Going on business trips to the middle of nowhere, and somehow she would sit next to Catherine Zeta Jones in a restaurant, and Angelina Jolie on the airplane. Grandiose, compulsive liar. The closeness/intimacy thing - omg yes. I’m been NC with her and my mother (narcissistic borderline) since Christmas, 2015. Literally ZERO contact. On my birthday in May 2018, she made a very visible, flowery post on my Facebook page: “While we don’t always talk…”. Seriously? She makes my skin crawl. Shallow as a teaspoon.
Wow! I am always fascinated by people who are obviously compulsive liars; you just know they are making up their meeting of famous people, grandiose experiences, over and over, never a dull moment in their lives! Reading your comment though gave me gratitude that none of these people are family, and I could easily avoid them if I wanted to, but I am glad you are able to deal with them in your life. I hope things continue to go well for you with the NC.
@@cpwood3506 my ex was going to take me to Paris for 10 days when he was scheduled to be recognized at his old school. Never heard another word about it.
Shallow as a teaspoon is a brilliant phrase. I was just thinking of someone like this and all I could come up with was perpetually vapid.
Thank you for sharing, I’m glad I’m not alone in experiencing both the sister and mother stuff
Sister has had this for 35 years. Exhausting for everyone -- parents, sister, children, and husband. Have watched her quit everything in her life -- multiple jobs, colleges, adoptions, churches, etc. Explosive emotions and gets furioius if folks don't listen to her stories.
Love this channel...psych RN here...histrionic seems to have connection to narcissistic PD as well....great discussions...thank you all...the seductiveness aspect is really interesting and a way to differentiate...
Dr Ramani explains the disorders so well, I cracked up on her histrionic impressions and the opera one was fantastic.
My wife and I have had couples' counseling a few times in our 54 year marriage and my very first question BEFORE the first session starts is, "Do you do directive counseling?" If the answer is 'yes' I tell them that I expect directive counseling to begin by at least the 4th session.
I have absolutely no patience with non-directive counseling. I'm not paying money to figure out my own problems. If I could do that I would not be there in the first place.
Thank you, I did not know there was a proper term for a counselor that gives you real insight and education. Directive counseling, how did you become aware of this type of counseling?
I described some of my unhelpful experiences with counsellors when I started my current one. She said oh that sounds like the "non-directive" form - that's not my style. I was like OH (now it makes sense!) and was so glad. She's the one for me! Still seeing her
I predominately do DBT, which is directive. However, there is also room for client-centered/non-directive. It all depends on the needs/desires of the client. There isn't a one-size-fits-all therapy routine. Regarding "figuring out your own problems," non-directive therapy does not do that. Non-directive therapy's focus is to allow you, as the client, to create your own goals for therapy and work together with the therapist to achieve them. Therapists should not give advice; their job is not to solve your problems. Therapy is work for both client and therapist - but mostly for the client. It is up to the client if they choose to put in the effort to get better. I can't work any harder than my client does.
This video and chat session has brought me so much comfort, I cannot begin to thank you enough.
I have been accused of being histrionic, and because I do love vintage clothes, have a background in theater, and an outgoing social personality, the cursory online descriptions I read really gave me pause. Could I be this??? Could my emotional responses to several loved ones I believe to be narcissists actually be my own personality disorder? Watching this allowed me to breathe easier. I do know someone who fits this to a T, and I appreciate the decent and empathetic way the discussion handled it, because I don’t think she has any ill will in her at all. But this in-depth analysis clarified what this disorder really looks like, and showy clothes and being talkative isn’t the whole picture. ❤️
Through your other videos, I have realized that my fear of being “too much” (based on some childhood bullying and a narcissistic father) are being exploited by a narcissist in my life. When I say I will rest easier after having watched this, I mean it. I have been ruminating on this a lot in that quiet time. So again, thank you for this much-needed clarity.
I’m very encouraged by your comment!
Those of us that are “too much” seem to hold a mirror up to these people’s faces and they have to control what they see. You’re awesome, but not too awesome😉
I’m very encouraged by your comment!
Those of us that are “too much” seem to hold a mirror up to these people’s faces and they have to control what they see. You’re awesome, but not too awesome😉
I could watch Dr Ramani do impressions of histrionic PD for hours.
Thank you for this.
I knew a woman once whom I definetly knew was "odd", in a way that was both very endearing and also quite confusing, even unsettling at times. We had an incredible chemistry together, and I ended out falling in love with her. Eventually I confessed my feelings to her.
To make a long story short, she broke my heart, repeatedly, before I cut contact with her for good.
Part of what made it so hard for me in the time afterwards was her erratic behavior, and my inability to understand what was going on inside her head. It was like there was two people inside her. One was a like a little child who had no control over her emotions or behavior, and the other was a perfectly normal adult who was ashamed of her behavior but also somewhat unable to acknowledge or even comprehend it.
Like we met for dinner one time, and she told me something incredibly traumatic that she'd gone through. And I got very quiet and intense, because I was angry and hurt on her behalf.
And she just stopped mid-sentence, looked at me and went all "Awwww!", and she took my hand and was suddenly all smiling and happy. And it was so incredibly confusing. Like, were did all that pain go? And why is my display of compassion being met with a reaction more appropriate for a cute puppy video? Like her emotions weren't fake - just bizarre.
Watching this video and reading up on Histrionic Personality Disorder has really given me a lot of closure. I'm not an expert, and I'm in no way unbiased, it's just that a lot of the traits you describe here really fit with how I experienced her to be - the "teenage girl" like immaturity and lack of insight into why she was doing the things she did, the weird and overblown anecdotes, the inappropriately seductive behavior and extreme concern with her own looks, and also a lack of sincere self-worth and depression.
I think (maybe hope?) that she is in some way perfectly aware that there's something wrong with her. I hope that she can change or at least learn to manage her problems.
Because part of what drew me to her was that I felt like there was a lot of suffering underneath all the flirting and the happy-flappy attitude. She never struck me as a happy person.
You met a histrionic woman.they don't change.yes they are child one moment then they switch to a matured like behaviour in a second..their emotions also change quickly.they present themselves to be so happy around public but inside they are dead lonely and hurt.but I m reminding you very dangerous in nature.they will play mindgames like nothing.
Her emotions are shallow.
@@marlanaferro1558 Probably, yeah. There was definetly something wrong with the way she'd react to certain things.
Oh wow I’ve never heard of this one before 😭 I would usually describe people like this as narcissists but I guess they’re more than that. I always just figured people are like this because they’re insecure but maybe they literally can’t go any deeper. I’ve met many people that I’ve noticed were off and I just didn’t like them. I could feel something was off and I could not understand why they were so magnetic to other people while, me being a sensitive person, would be repelled by them so deeply. These people are just so insincere I could feel the condescension oozing off of their faces. I’m glad I’m more aware of this :)
Seems to be a lot of overlap with the superficiality, huh? I was thinking the same thing. I think a distinguishing characteristic is that histrionics seem to be a lot more agreeable, whereas narcissists are more antagonistic.
It’s good you have a good intuition. But it’s also good I think to learn about these different personality disorders, so we can kind of see the person behind the disorder as it were. And it doesn’t become so set in stone that that person just sucks or something. However while they are not that good for the people around them it is understandable to be weary.
weird flex
@@Astrid_Grace yeah that’s what I was thinking it’s interesting
@@ellecrescent9834 yeah that’s why I thought this video was so interesting cuz I would usually just think those types of people are bad and just chalk em up to doing it on purpose :) But I guess it’s like kids some of em do weird things on accident and since they’re kids you’re like ‘oh whatever’ but true it’s always good to know to have more sympathy but also alert of behaviors
I am a super introspective Cluster B, who has self-diagnosed with Vulnerable NPD. Sought my way into getting a proper diagnosis far and wide (live in a rural area) and got it. So there are some of us with insights, and with highly developed conscience leading to seeking the truth.
This is my mother . I can’t believe how accurate this is . Thank you x
The chicken and the egg question comes to mind. This personality disorder is fed and supported culturally - even those who grow up with a relatively healthy family fall prey to it. Social media certainly plays a big role, but the insidious pressure to be an extrovert, to be successful with material gain, breeds these mindsets. I love how Dr. Ramani points out that this is not a gender-limited issue, that it's just how it presents differently.
When social media entered the scene, these personality disorders emerged exponentially…aided by the “selfie”, an array of filters, a followers count, the “Like” button, etc… even dormant traits flourished!
Dr. Ramani thank you ❤ you are looking great, Radiant and healthy. You’ve helped me so much understanding myself living with BPD and Complex PTSD. I really appreciate your work. And thank you too Kyle you’re doing an amazing job. We all appreciate these videos
Great interview and a very intelligent guest who can describe difficult distinctions in plain language. Treating histrionics with compassion is what I cherished most for this video. They’re so easily made prey.
Glad there are people who recognize they are easy prey and don’t exploit or mock them. We need more compassion in this world.
I agree.
After watching so many videos about narcissism describing the trainwreck of my life with a narc, it's wonderful to see Dr. Ramani being funny AF.
Same
Dr. Ramani is so engaging when she speaks, I just adore her!
I see my sister in this. She cannot ever be alone and loves to have her 'fan club' around her. I cringe when she tells how she went out with a famous pop star when the reality is she briefly met him once years ago. She loves attention on social media and when our mother was dying she milked the sympathy for months. Even now on the anniversary of our mother's death there will be a post on Facebook and everyone will comment how they're sending love blah blah blah. She never even got on with our mother (who herself was a covert narcissist/sociopath). The apple didn't fall far as they say.
Apparently from your comments
@sandisnow7043 sorry for delay in replying but only just seen your post. My sister is two years older than me. I went no contact about three years ago after she sent me a horrid text accusing me of stalking her on one of her Facebook groups. Life is peaceful now although it's sad when it's family but for the sake of my mental well-being I had to do it. Best wishes.
Is she younger or older sister, I feel like younger siblings are more susceptible to this.
My sister too. She loves to explain very personal experiences and health issues on social media, on and on and on. So dramatic. And she gets her needs filled from the attention of her 'fans' being sympathetic to her. She lives for the attention. It's sad and very hard to witness.
@@princesslajara she's 2 years older
Thank you, Dr. Ramani and Kyle. I needed to hear this TODAY. This is the kind of reminder I need on endless loop, on repeat.
"and sometimes people feel guilty, they're like 'omg, they're giving me a seven foot present, I should be nicer about this'.." and that smile Dr. Ramani cracks out made me laugh so hard tears were coming out 😅💚 Much love and appreciation!
I have a crush on Dr. Ramani, she is so incredibly well spoken and her use of body language is so engaging
❤
so spot on. “when they r not in touch with their feelings they dont know what they are doing” cluster B. so spot on thank you. and there man too like that. like my husband. show off clothes watches etc. and nonstop flirting with everyone, especially girls as its easier to get their attention, and try to be so smooth with man, changing even his voice when in the presence of man.
This is by far the funniest MedCircle video ever - isn't this what we might call Narcissism Light?
I think that cocaine and alcohol are the perfect drugs for the histrionic. Spending time with musicians and those who surround them, I dealt with a whole lotta people just like this. I like people like that. I have a touch of that myself, I'm afraid. But you have to remember that you cannot (usually) count on them for anything. If something better comes along, they'll drop a date or an appointment and be off with that new opportunity. 🤨
I wouldn't even say musicians...just people in LA 😂
Yes, they can be fun for a short time
Wdym by Musicians?
OMG! My narcissistic famous aunt used to wear a cape ad a feather in her hat, and would enter the room with a regal swish and a grandiose pose. I wondered if she might've also been histrionic. Helpful info. Keep it up.
Was she fun?
Being hysteric or this type of personality is sth different than personality disorder
And NPD is different than HPD. someone can be for example ASPD and People think that they're histrionic etc.
she sounds awesome ngl
Fucking hilarious!
Wow! This is so my mother. Sad. I recently had to cut ties due to her not respecting boundaries and hanging out with my ex husband for some reason. She always has to be center of attention etc!! 🙄
I have BPD, and my ex has HPD. It was such a terrible breakup, the two of us. Me, insecure, always fearing she'd leave me. Her, manipulating that side of me, and then so easily switching up to someone else. Having to watch that unfold. Man...
Dr Ramani is amazing, I love her but Kyle is awesome too. They complement each other so much they are great to watch.
Yes! They’re such a great team ❗️
I have relatives who have this disorder. They are theatrical, over the top, creating drama to make themselves relevant. They need attention. They have no loyalty, remorse, or a moral conscience.
Charismatic yet shallow. As adult now I recognize their tactics, avoid them & run. Being around them is a no win situation in the long run.
This was extremely helpful as I've been struggling with trying to understand this one character and her motivations... this nailed it.
Yikes, I hope people don’t judge me as a histrionic. I am 100% not one, because I don’t like attention. I’m a creative dresser. My style of clothing is eclectic and individual. (I also happen to work in the fashion industry.) I think it’s more important to assess people based on behavior, rather than appearances.
I think it’s wrong to assume that one who is into fashion and beauty is shallow and has a personality disorder. That’s an awful and jealous way to judge our fellow humans.
Dolly Parton was very much into fashion and had an eccentric and attention grabbing style but she’s not histrionic in the slightest.
I understand. I know many pple with histrionic pd who wear stuff for attention and others who r not hpd but who live color, are artistic, etc
People who are into fashion is totally different, just like someone, like myself, who likes older cars and performance ones, I drive a Audi RS6 Avant and I don't care what people around me are thinking, just like your clothes, you do it for yourself, like my cars. It's a passion, not something I want others to notice.
I appreciate what she said when asked at the end about how histrionic personality disorder should be renamed superficial PD and how men have this disorder as well, albeit usually exhibiting attention seeking behaviors somewhat differently. However, alll of her examples in this entire interview leading up to that were feminine/those of women. I wish Dr. Ramani would examine her own bias that persists from a history of clinical psychology steeped in sexism and make efforts to correct the imbalance when giving behavioral examples.
Absolutely love the series on personality disorders by Dr. Ramani and Kyle. They both do a wonderful job of discussing the nuances of the disorders. My students find this series to be super helpful for their studies.
Thank you so much - incredibly interesting and insightful - the dynamic between Dr Ramani and Kyle is incredible.
Dr. R is such a gift.
He did well to keep his eyes looking straight ahead.
This seems to describe someone who is kind of a polarizing celebrity perfectly.
I've got a family member who is histrionic, and I've got a doozy. They came in late to another family member's funeral (who died very young of lung cancer), and stood up and sang a song BY THEMSELVES that had already been sung by the person who had been hired/asked/employed by the funeral home to sing. Hand to God ✋️
W😮W
Reminds me of the kind of thing you might see in an episode of “Six Feet Under.”
@@dburt0021 Haha...I loved that show!
I love listening and learning from Dr Ramani. And Kyle looks great no matter what he wears! 🙂
Yet the low top and dumb glasses on and off are both weird. How about some self reflection on THESE attention seeking behaviors?
I'm definitely a big fan of histrionic clothing!
My mother reacted hysterically and inappropriately to anything she thought was the slightest bit different from her way of thinking, she was also a princess. I'm leaning more toward narcissist, this is really hard because she made no sense to me. I'll keep listening and thinking, thank you!
I also think histrionic and narcissistic personalities overlap a lot... But based on what she said I guess the difference may be that the histrionic may be more naive.. as she discribed "more child-like" and be deceived.. while I guess the narcissist would be the one deceiving...
@@JulianaGockos Thanks, she had traits of a few things, maybe she was just a jealous ass and resentful, not sure yet, lol, but it would help to have the right description if I get a therapist. Combined with my dad it's no wonder I feel paralysed.
Histrionic clothing? Lol
Only a formal evaluation would be enough for a proper diagnosis of course, but perhaps she exhibits traits of more than 1 "cluster B?" Sorry you had to be brought up with this, but you are definitely not alone! At least you have a sense of humor about it!
@@user-jc8py7dw7r did you watch the interview?
Basketball shorts 🩳 and a T-shirt. Yep. That’s me 😂. I really appreciate you two. Amazing healing dynamic. Thank you both. I comment regularly on Dr Ramani’s channel, and want you to know how grateful and thankful i am for your channel as well. 🙏
I met 3 people like this in grad school, they always acted like they were rich and were always sucking up to people and they irritate myself and my friend. They harassed us and other students who didn't want to give them any attention. To this day I am close to my friend since we both suffered a similar trauma that I had to go to the therapist for a year. I had to constantly build myself esteem from the ground up by going to therapy, reading self-help books, listening to calming music, and working-out. All of these activities helped me build my confidence and still do it to this day.
Im glad to have this video because I think I know someone like this. I also see some bits of it in myself and it’s given me ideas on what I should work on in myself. I want to be better with supporting my friends in tough times because I often find myself frozen and not knowing what to say or do…
After listening to Dr. Ramani's description(s) of the many faces of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I asked my wife to review one particular discussion, in which she suggested that Anthropologists wanting to study the great apes of the world go to Tanzania; those wishing to study the great Narcissists of the world go to Los Angeles, California; (we both graduated from the University of Southern California). For dinner that evening I served my wife two-scrumptious California round steaks, with a delicious vegetable genoch. She smiled and said: I'm from San Jose California. YOU are from Los Angeles, California. Yes I laughed long and hard at the Doctors comments regarding Los Angeles, and immediately thought of you, dear.
lived in LA for 9 years before moving on..
Yes
narcissists in LA
probably
also
Montecito...
because of the entertainment industry...
However
California has no no monopoly.
Washington D.C. may have a richer vein of narcissism...
I loved this video just as I love them all, but I have to chuckle a bit as well at the unintentionally-funny "fancy man shoes". It made me laugh when he said, "Fancy man shoes? I need to get me some of those!" lol I appreciate a video where those discussing serious topics can still be light and funny and jovial about it.
Thank you for this! I wasn’t familiar with the personality disorder. So interesting. I worked in the entertainment industry for years in NYC for years and these personality styles are very familiar to me! Have you considered siting examples of the various personality styles by characters in film, tv, literature, etc? Thank you again for your videos !! I look forward to many more!
For histrionic think Blanche from “The Golden Girls”
@@iamPinga thank u!
I think that character in reference to certain personality disorders is BRILLIANT!
@@redredkroovy I think it would be enormously valuable in understanding the types and styles.
As a film historian, I really hate when psychologists do that. Fictional constructions of characters are not full human beings with complex psyches.
I love Dr. R! Such a great communicator, & she naturally teaches as she’s defining & describing the disorders, scenarios, etc.
This has been such an outlet for me, & it’s hard to explain why.
I went through a horrific work situation in which a boss with either NPD or ASPD or a combo of these &/ or others… targeted me for almost 3 years. God gave me the strength necessary to get through it. If someone had told me I would have to go through that, I might’ve done something stupid (not un-aliving) but something.
Somehow getting this information, being able to define his personality or personality disorder for some reason has really lifted some weight from me. I’m very grateful, so THANK YOU!!!
Keep up the great work!!
I can’t absorb enough!
“For 10 grand I’ll do that for you too” Dr. Ramani you’re such a comedian I love watching your videos you make it so interesting to listen to! Always get a laugh in despite serious subjects.
Can you talk about the overlap with narcissism? I remember in a previous video Dr Ramani said they were considering removing histrionic pd from the dsm cause it shared many traits with other cluster b disorders
was thinking the same. This seems to overlap NPD a lot.
HPD - if a valid construct in the first place - can and usually does lean towards ASPD and/or BPD and all Cluster B has narcissistic elements.
I am not a psych professional, but from my observation Histrionic Personality does seem to be a variation of narcissism. But the distinguishing factor is that Histrionics will "take the dance floor" at any time, any place, and any cost. Dr. Ramani's comment about wearing something totally inappropriate at a funeral was a perfect example and one I actually experienced as a coworker of a Histrionic. Another thing, almost always a Histrionic will grab attention by demonstrating overwhelming sexuality, no matter if the setting is, for example, a serious business conference, e.g., clothing that is too abbreviated, sexualized responses, lascivious glances. There are other occasions where they simply grab the attention by seizing someone else's moment at a gathering, e.g., kissing someone else's fiance intimately at someone else's engagement party. One almost feels sorry for the Histrionic because their actions are almost continuously like that of a toddler who insists on blowing out the candles on someone else's birthday cake.
@@brindageorge701 see, this is all true but it showcases my problem with the construct of HPD: why would it be Cluster B then if it is only that?
Honestly, screw narcissism, the way to understand histrionics is by reading up on PSYCHOPATHY. Once digging into real psychopathy (not ASPD, psychopathy), you will see HPD totally differently.
also, narcissism has two major facettes, grandiose and vulnerable and HPD ACTS grandiose but IS vulnerable.
All of Cluster B has some elements of narcissism (self-centered & self-serving) behaviors. Egocentric people locked in to toddler-like stages of emotional development with tantrums when things don't go to their satisfaction. The "Histrionic" diagnosis does appear to be one of the more forgotten ones during this time period where being flamboyant is not so culturally unacceptable. However, Histrionic people can be dangerous when manipulative, erratic, or volatile and can make particularly bad parents if this is so.
When Kyle used that gym analogy- omg YES. (& if that gym he went to starts with an E and ends with an X, he's right 😓)
I have a serious problem with having a diagnosis based on how someone dresses and how sexy and superficial they seem. Someone who is physically attractive and enjoys fashion could be misdiagnosed so easily, especially by a medical professional who only sees them for short visits which can feel performative to begin with as people often rehearse because of time limitations. Bright colors? Sexy clothes? That cannot be a professional diagnostic criteria as it is too subjective. It was written by people who don't understand that a creative person has a need and right to express themselves. The chance of mislabeling a creative, vibrant person who enjoys performing arts as a disorder seems so high to the point of discrimination of people who are different than what society deems as "normal". This is 2024, we can do better.
Except that wouldn't be nearly enough to qualify for a diagnosis. They have to meet five of the eight criteria to be diagnosed. Furthermore, there has to be a presence of their life being made worse, or them being in distress because of it.
Alternatively, a diagnosis could follow a person with five of the eight criteria who has a pattern of harming others due to the patterns.
Someone could be high fashion, flirty, extroverted, and enjoy being the center of attention and there's no way they'd be diagnosed. You're not getting the bigger picture of the disorder, which is what psychologists look at to diagnose.
Yeah this professional who has spent years studying, talking with patients, other doctors, other professionals has no clue what they are talking about 🙄 maybe listen to what she is saying and understand that being diagnosed with this, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. This is a start to recognizing self behavior and asking deeper questions. I understand we have google warriors today and think they know everything. Maybe you shouldn’t take this so personally and having this reaction. Seems like it “offends” you but a doctor isn’t conducting themselves just off of feelings. They have to be factual. Maybe ask yourself why this impacts you so much. It’s not like she made this video specifically for you, unless….
@@jorsh1908 this! The lack of bigger picture and intimate knowledge is also why I'm so bothered by people actually trying to diagnose celebrities online. Some of whom could as well be extremely calm and subdued in personal life, just putting on the show of vanity or mood swings and odd behaviors as a conscious choice for the money.
These two have good working chemistry i love listening to them
I appreciate the more in depth bpd analysis definitely identify with all traits of bpd but because I’m not as much chaotic, I don’t fit the criteria “because it’s not affecting everyday” it’s mild for me but I feel it creepy up & getting out of control as I get older, I came from a family scapegoating abuse that goes on till this day, never really learned healthy patterns of communicating & my emotions are just a giant wave & panic & rage, been in therapy for 8 years last year new therapist
There must be soooo many histrionic individuals in Hollywood/Los Angeles....
yep!
Exhausting people to deal with. They're actually very needy and can throw you off balance and if you challenge them it's a thousand times worse. So you have to tiptoe around them. I had one of them staying in my house and I called her out on exaggerated attention seeking behaviour, because I was too tired to deal with it.
She reacted very very badly. So badly she had to leave immediately after dragging everyone around her into a needless drama. Glad to be rid of her. Phew.
Although I'm not specialized in psychology but based on my reading experience of many books about psychology the main elements are...
1-the environment of your growing up with your parents
2- toxic people whom you are surround by
3- Ignorance by parents or no attention given which is the most important factor that lead him/her to deviate and start taking drugs or end up in the jail due to a crime
Note: parents must listen to their children understand them and become their best company
@@raz5003 very true
I think histrionic personality disorder has two sides
One of them is extremely good- these people will go to great lengths for a good cause (literally like fight for justice for a murdered/raped family member)
The second side is dark because some of them will also go to great lengths for a bad cause or do horrible things
Which side is more prominent in a person directly depends on what they choose to do or be
I want people to talk about both sides.. it’s very reductive to classify a person as bad just because of a personality style
How can personality "disorder" can produce something good.. isn't why its called a disorder and not a particular type...
@@raz5003 okay... but BPD & ADHD aren't they different from PD? I thought so..BPD & ASHD cannot be called personality disorders they are just mental conditions and cannot have a toxic nature in personality..but PD creates lot of disturbances in the interpersonal relationships than intrapersonal
@@ChamayamAestheticMot BPD is borderline personality disorder.
@@ChamayamAestheticMot Personality ‘disorder’ is diagnosed when something is problematic.. but in mainstream culture they are often misrepresented
Personality style is wholistic and dependent on choice
Professionals can make accurate judgment but masses can easily label people a certain way just because of a personality style- isolating the person even more and perpetuating the problem
@@raz5003 yes exactly there are two sides and we must nourish the good one
Thanks Dr Ramani and Kyle... I found this video most enjoyable and informing, and I just love the way you two bounce off of each other when you Kyle ask questions and you Dr Ramani explain and then you share a back and forth discussion and collaborate. This really helps with clarity and conceptualising. Very amusing too 🙃😊🧐
I don't know who needs to hear this. But a lot of people need to hear this
Thanks so much, Dr. Ramani. There is so much of this stuff on social media - I have stopped interacting with everyone in those arenas. It just sucks the life force energy out of me and leaves me feeling nauseous.
Hey Doc. This Superficial Personality Disorder is also visible in a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What is the difference between the two? Maybe another video to differentiate between these 2 personalities please? Thank you for your great work as always!
Histrionix was sexualized and cant take care of themselves
Histrionix are more like adult-childs
Histrionics are not grandiose and they like negative attention too, example *you are no good and nothing but nut* they like that type of negative attention as well.
People with Histrionic or Superficial Personality Disorder don't think as critically and think they are closer to a person than people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do.
Narcissist rely of praise, admiration and the validation that they have more worth and value to a average person. Basic attention is useless and negitive attention is bad. Although both npd and hpd can be comorbid so it varys with people
Omg I love your analogies: “you’ve gotta let an adolescent bake before you pull it out of the oven.” I’m gonna use that from now on in my sessions if you don’t mind; so witty but easy to understand! 😂😂
This makes me want to learn what personality pattern ISN'T a disorder.
Back in school it was suggested that turning over a histrionic would reveal a sociopath.
This was very informative.
Dr Ramani makes an excellent point about the connotations of the term "histrionic". I really like her suggestion of Superficial Personality Disorder as an alternative, but I would also offer LA Personality Disorder as a contender too. Or perhaps Self-styled Instagram Influencer Personality Disorder? I feel that both perfectly encapsulate the type of person being described.
They're pretty much all the same thing with different words
Except that she was wrong about the origins of the word "histrionic" She confused the word with "hysteria."
@@ems7623 What do you mean? The term is derived from the old concept of the word "hysteria" or Greek "hystera" meaning womb.
One major mistake histrionics make. You’ll hear them say I’m sick of people draining my energy. What they’re really saying is, I’m having difficulty in controlling that person/people. These people tend to be knowledgeable about several subjects, hence, the histrionic can’t keep up with them and feels like they’re being kicked off stage. When this happens, they start sulking, keep quiet and fold up into the fetal position.
I know a woman in her 80's who fits this, going out dancing or to dinner, dressed like she's in her 30's, flirting like she looks great, even though she doesn't. I've also seen more than one man treat her like she's gorgeous & young! I saw a photo of her in her 20's & she WAS gorgeous.
I feel like you can tell any disorder based on their root or core struggles! This is a huge identifier when I notice someone who has some kind of mental illness. Bpd is mostly a trauma developed disorder, like ptsd to the full extreme. Yes fear of abandoment. It can look like historanic but is not
I am learning something new . It is very informative . Thank you so much Dr. Ramani & Kyle for coming up with the topic
I want to add some ways a man can be “histrionic “. My husband will never buy anything expensive or flamboyant. His flashy personality is not about looks, but he’ll seek to be the center of attention by trying to be funny, it doesn’t matter where he is, what the situation is. It could be a funeral. Often he’s too much. He’s loud and sometimes he even plays crazy. He’ll pick a squash at the supermarket and “seriously” pretend that he’s on the phone with a big wig and giving his advice on trading bonds. He can be perfectly normal if he wants and/or needs to be, but he says it’s boring.
Well we all know how Robin Williams ended up
Big kid energy! Just watch out when they throw a tantrum. Terrifying.
@@latenitetubing Yes, but he’s over 50 and very capable of insulting people “jokingly”
Sorry @Virginia S. ..I’ll be more specific in my edit. The person I have in mind is a senior! Good luck 🤞
Thank you so much for your example. Very helpful!
I’m a big man and I have borderline personality disorder and I’m in love with a little woman who has histrionic personality disorder. We constantly fight and we instantly make up. We love each other completely and it’s exhausting but neither her or I would change a thing. We are not all evil
You can grow and learn together 😊
Knowing is half the battle 😅
Very nice that things are working out for you guys
My ex was bpd and i'm hod. He and i needed space because our chemistry and tension was too high yet we were both not in the right headspaces. Although him and I don't speak it is very likely that we will run into eachother and rekindle since we live in the same neighbourhood and share lots of similar interests. I have purposely tried to avoid him of course to give him space by going against his work schedule but the temptation to 'bump' into him is wild. He was always so complimentary and i was always so patient and accepting of him. Bad mental health will ruin a lot of good things sadly
Oh dear… we are not here watching to vilify people with Cluster B disorders… we are here to learn how to cope and communicate because y’all can be overwhelming most of the time ❤ But we love someone like you and want to help or approach from a much more educated and compassionate place. I send much cheer and happy energy your way!
I think what’s amazing is the good Lord brings information into my life when mostly needed I was raised by a professional hard core Narcissist it’s actually been life threatening dealing with it and suffering from epilepsy that rolled into my life in my 30’s I have more seizures when I’m around her then anyone else stress and anxiety and not enough sleep are the main triggers that bring them on I think I was given a gift to protect my from stepping into a bad place and bad people I now think of my Medical problem is gift given to me, A Secretary alarm 🚨🙏🏻🙏🏻
Oh Johnny I do hope you seek proper medical evaluation and treatment for your seizure disorder. As you said, it can be a life-threatening prospect if left untreated. But even at the very least it can deprive you of valuable brain power as your brain is deprived of oxygen each time it occurs. 🙏 God Bless you and cut ties with all toxic people!
I think you'll find it is TH-cam that has brought this information into your life 🥰
@@cathyjoy9214 I love your picture 🐶🐱Thanks 😘✌️
It's called Baader-Meinhof syndrome.
@@cathyjoy9214 Yes that’s what Jesus was using TH-cam he works in strange ways sometimes 😉🙏🏻
Glad to hear this because (thank God) I don’t need anyones approval. I have the freedom to be honest and not have to be under anyones’ ‘thumb.’