I gotta tell you... I absolutely love you for so many reasons... there isn't a hug that's big enough to send you! I just love your posts, you're just so super awesome amazing... I hope you know you've touched so many people from all over just by being such an amzing person, in addition to your fantastic (as always) content!
Wow. Thinking of "grief" not as a mood, but as a label for an otherwise-unnamed series of *actual actions* someone is taking - the comprehensive act of slowing-down-to-process-new-emotions - was a really helpful insight for me just now, and I wouldn't have 'gotten there' without your thoughts and this video, so... thanks, Jo. You're doing great - and you're helping.
this hit very close to home. i’m not an amputee, and i’m very thankful for that, but i have felt great pain and anger and sadness and sometimes my brain just doesn’t want to process that. i ignore it like it’s just not there and it only makes everything worse. i’m so so proud of you jo :,) thank you for sharing this with us.
I feel the no time to deal with the emotions, and expressing what you think others need to see. The hospital loved my drive, my humour after the ampuation. Inside I was screaming, crying, scared? Angry, sad, uggghh. It is hard. You ARE strong. Never doubt that. Thank you for sharing, as always. hugs
You are so amazing! I discovered your channel last night and I just had to subscribe! Last night you were at 27k and now your at 32k! That’s amazing! You are such a role model to anyone experiencing the same thing!
I don’t even have anything like an amputation and would be too nervous going to a coffee shop alone and making a video by myself. I would feel like everyone was watching/staring at/judging me for whatever reason - so you go girl - you are amazing and I admire you so much!
“Every great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and life. Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than with pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.” -Rachel Naomi Remen M.D. This quote is one that got me to start the grieving process after losing my mom. For the first time I didn’t see that road as a dark pit to sit in the sorrow and pain, but rather a path to a better understanding, a better, stronger me. It still brings tears to my eyes.
I just binged like 5 of your videos! I am also local to Colorado, so I was intrigued when you mentioned Denver. Your experience with repressing emotions really resonated with me, and I agree you have to learn to fully feel and go through something to heal. It's an ongoing process. Thank you for sharing your story.
Having my first awful day post amputation 2.5 months and after 55 procedures. I knew it was the RIGHT decision for me, yes it’s hard, but like you I feel I’m not allowed a bad day, to be fearful or teary. Everyone is so used to me being brave and trying to make things easier for them but thank you for your post. I don’t get angry either, but I’ve been so angry today it made me genuinely sad and not feel ok x thank you for all you do x. I literally felt the same as you! Sleep is scary and anxiety is so cruel x m proud but I feel I’m not off days which sucks x
Thank you for this. I'm struggling with my anxiety lately. So bad. I haven't found a good councilor yet, so I ended up just stopping that journey and went back to shoving things in corners as I go through the process of diagnosing an auto immune disease. Mentally, I'm not handling that well. You gave me the push I needed to call and get that help again. ❤️ thank you.
You are so brave to go theough what you have been through im 26 will be 27 this year in may and i wouldnt be able to make a decission like that to have a limb amputated i love how your so positive in your videos i just descovered your channle today and you have a new suscriber as of today 💕
Great video and share! Love the awareness and it makes a difference to those struggling! Subbed to your channel and found inspiration here for my channel! Keep doing you!
Beautiful video, embracing your emotions is the best way to process them, you have had so many changes in a short time and life has been unfair which it is sometimes, however it is ok to feel all of the emotions that go with it. Without emotions good or bad like would be pretty boring. So take the time to feel what comes and process them, after all you are writing a new chanter in your book of life.
Hey im a new sub and i just wanna say you are amazing im disabled myself (not amputee) but hearing a story like yours is awesome love the updates and everything
Hi Wig Flew welcome to my channel I’m so happy to have you here! Thank you for subscribing! 😊 I’m so glad that sharing my story can help in any way, thanks for being a part of my journey!!
I’m so glad I came across your channel. Even with all the struggles you’re going through, you still keep yourself together and stay really strong and optimistic. But even in general, It’s seriously so inspiring to me the way you handle situations.
I subscribed to you a couple of days ago, and you had 18K subscribers and now you have 23K! And I'm so glad people are following along with you; I think you're brilliant. I could listen to you speak all day long (and quite frankly, it seems like I have as I've binged your channel!), you're so well spoken and have so much to say on not just your experience with making the choice to amputate your leg, but on mental health and just life in general. And I love it. You also remind me of Lena Hall (actress, was in Kinky Boots and Hedwig and The Angry Inch, both on broadway!), but I can't pinpoint why just yet!
Again Jo...welcome to being human!! 😀 How are you feeling physically? Are you feeling better as time passes? Are you in a better physical position without the ankle? We all have issues with adjustment. It is just a fact of being human. As you think about the emotional and mental side, pay some attention to how you are feeling physically. Maybe that might help you navigate the mental/emotional side of your journey. Just another point to ponder. Again, many thanks for leading us all on this journey of self discovery. 🙏🙏🙏👏👏👏
In a few years, or months, you won't even notice people staring at you anymore. I have cerebral palsy and use a power chair, and people stare at me a lot in public. But I don't see it unless my friends or family mention it. Over the years, I've become much more confident in my right to exist as I am, and so I don't think as much about how other people react to me. Also, I totally relate to the repressed emotions around trauma. The struggle is real. But I get better at feeling things all the time
I don’t know how I found your channel but I’m so glad I did. Your words hit me deep. I’m physically disabled from both a genetic disease and a spinal cord injury almost 4 years ago that took away my ability to walk, and it wasn’t til very recently that I started going back to my therapist. The past 3 and a half years I’ve genuinely been stuck in a rut and unable to process the emotional and physical trauma that I went through and am still going through. I have so much to learn about this but this video honestly makes me feel less alone. Our circumstances are different but mentally and emotionally there are many parallels. Thank you so much for not just this video, but your sincerity and openness about your situation 💜
When I see people like you I never ever think oh look at that weirdo. Not at all! I only think oh look at that weirdo when I'm at Walmart and it's truly a weirdo. 😂 In all seriousness, if I saw you in public with no foot and didn't know you from Eve I would honestly think, "there's a pretty girl that's been through something really difficult and even though I don't know her or what exactly she has been through she is awesome because she isn't letting that foot hold her back." Then I would be looking for any way to help you without insulting your independence and trying to think of the right thing to say. On a separate note, your filming and editing skills are awesome. Keep up the good work! The camera, like us, loves you!
You are a beautiful, strong person, honestly I'm one of those people who is all in favor of shoving any and all emotions deep down inside and just never letting them out, I thought I was very good at it... Until I had an out of the blue mental breakdown. You keep doing you and taking those steps, working or your mind set and just keep going you are one strong as all hell individual and it's helpful for me to watch you/ listen to you process things because it helps me learn how to too 💙
I honestly have so much I wish I could talk to you about, I wish I lived closer so we could hang out. I hope you always obtain the confidence in your decision, I know you always will but I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Don’t let it hinder your experience here on earth
'I need to emotionally participate in this journey...I think that's what grief means' Different experience, but I also struggle to express anger. Thank you for reminding me that it's there for a reason. Take care, Casey
Shady Wilbury thank you for sharing that with me Casey! It’s good to know that I’m also not alone in struggling to express anger...it’s a really hard one. But we definitely aren’t alone. We’ve got this. 💜
I have a tendon problems, four months of constant pain . I won’t even dare compare myself to any type of pain you’ve had to endure, it must have been excruciatingly unbearable ! Just suffering through this minor pain compared to yours , I mean there are days I have to say I wish I didn’t have the ankle, so yes , foot pain is real and horribly painful. I totally get where your coming from ..... the limb has rebelled .
This..this video REALLY hit home. Thank you so much for sharing this, I know it's a vulnerable thing to talk about. 8 years ago when my grandma died it was the first emotionally traumatic experience as a young adult (16). I didn't know anything about healthy coping skills or mental health. I saw that my family was putting on a tough face so that's what I did too. Since then I've had several emotionally traumatic experiences and every time my reaction has been to put it on the shelf as you said. In my experience this causes constant anxiety and insecurities, occasional meltdown when the shelf gets overloaded so to speak, and worst of all, my brain is trained to repress things I don't want repressed even if they cause only moderate stress. This means I forget important things I need to do both at work and home because when I go to sleep at night my brain reboots like a computer and throws all the stress into a junk bin. This slowly but ultimately took it's final toll on me in 2018 all but ruining my life, both at home and at work. I couldn't remember what I was doing as I was doing it if I was stressed at work. And at home bills were being totally forgotten. Two things have helped, mostly it's YOU Jo! You have helped me see the need to get through things not over under or around. And you didn't teach me this skill just today, it's been a theme all along in your videos that I've been following. Today you just summed it up and put a bow on it. So with your help I'm making progress sorting through the stored up emotions and not storing new ones up anymore. But I still had issues with important daily things going to the 'junk bin'. So starting last week I bought a pocket sized note book and keep constant notes in it all day long both at work and home. I jot things down randomly as needed but the main thing I do is right Morning to-dos, Work to-dos, and After work to-dos and check them off as I go. In one week my life has completely changed. I have my short-term memory coming back already and I'm a productive member of society again. Thanks again for all your wisdom, kind words, and personal thoughts you bravely share. I sincerely love you Jo, you are my BEST cyber friend ever.
Oh my gosh, the memory thing - me too. There have been huge periods in my life (and lately) where I literally feel like my brain and/or memory is broken because I completely forget important things, conversations, bills, etc. Its like there's a giant gaping hole in my mind - but that's trauma brain. You're so right. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so many things, and experience the brain stress and trauma, too. And gosh I am so glad I could impact in any way! Sorting through the junk bin is so im[ortant. I keep a list in to-doist, which helps me sort through my brain to-do, and then I keep the bullet journal for everything! Thank you for all of your continual encouraging comments, and for sharing pieces of your life with me and this community!
@@FootlessJo you're welcome cyber sis. I'm here for the long haul. Often I binge watch a TH-cam channel and rarely or never come back to it. But how could I ever get tired or disinterested in you, I mean seriously! Watching your videos is literally therapy to me. A close family member the other day suggested I seek therapy and I told them about you. Then they said, sounds like you found just what you need. This channel is my medicine, if I disappear something must have happened.
Jo thank you for putting these videos out there. You are an inspiration and you are beautiful and not weird. You are a warrior in this battle of silly judgmental others!
You are amazing. I think you're handling this so much better than I would. Have you, I know it sounds goofy, tried primal scream therapy? Just get off into the woods, light a fire and let it ALL out. Dig out the anxiety, pain, fear and roar. Bellow it out cry your eyes dry then tell it to stay away. It was very cathartic.
I did this exactly once and it felt more like a crack in my mental health rather than a release. I did, however, one time smash an old broken television with a board. That was the most empty I've ever felt, it was like every emotion I had poured out onto that TV. It's a hella big mess tho
Hawk 1966 ironically my counselor literally suggested something like that haha!! It sounds amazingly therapeutic...but yeah. Really hope no hikers are around 🤣
Hi Jo! I just found your channel!! And I already feel that you are my friend!! Thanks for being so strong but so real at the same time, thanks for being helpful with your words and your experience. Your way of seeing life just inspires me. Thanks darling! Greeting from Panamá 💗🌴
Good to see you getting out solo. Keep doing it, especially to the same haunts. People will see you over and over and break past the awkwardness of 'How do I say HI to an amputee?' Be open to saying "Hi, How are you doing today?" When they ask you how you are doing, you can answer, "Every day is getting better." How can anybody not respond in a positive way to your wonderful smile? Those interactions with others will flood your body and mind with good chemistry. Normal is not just walking smoothy with a prosthetic leg. Normal is getting out and seeing people, both acquaintances and strangers. We love engaging the children who cannot help but stare. They break down barriers quickly. btw, You look great, with or without make-up. Keep smiling.
Recently discovered your channel and subbed immediately! LOVE YOUR CONTENT! I actually have a question. I’m wondering your feelings on people calling you an “inspiration”. I’ve heard mixed thoughts on that particular subject from those with physical challenges, and you are always so thoughtful about things that I’m curious what you think. I really, genuinely feel so inspired by your ability to be so open and honest about all your experiences, but I feel weird saying that because I totally know you’re just a normal human!!! Sending love from a total stranger 💕
I had almost a month of waiting to get my leg cut it was hard not to get into head i wish it was just two weeks. You are doing so well getting out and doing stuff that makes you uncomfortable. Glad you have such a wonderful husband you are blessed. I still want to know how you walk in snow because i would be flat on my face every 5 seconds lol. You getting out has helped me a lot getting me out of my house because i hate the looks or stares from people when i am wheeling around.
Having time to process emotions is so very important indeed. I had three weeks between my thyroid cancer diagnosis and my removal surgery. For three weeks I was busy figuring out work details and telling everyone how OK I was. After this less visible, but life changing surgery, after cancer, the hospital did not offer mental support. It took three years and a lot of struggles with my hormones for my doctor to send me to a therapist saying that it looked like I had developped a form of PTSD. Shortly after I started therapy, I had another sad event in my life and we had to focus on that, and then, before we could really tackle the matter of health, I moved back to my country and left my therapist behind, with a lot of health related anxiety. So where everyone would say "be strong", I'd say don't. Don't even try. By feeling down, crying, feeling angry or sad, you allow yourself to process a trauma. It can't be processed the same way we process a paper cut, it's a major event and it is important to acknowledge it. And you can see it as a learning experience, where you learn about yourself. Who are we in the face of anger, pain, loss? It also takes away all of the guilt of feeling happy when you're really happy. Anyway, long ramble, also have pizza sometimes 😊
Hey there! I think you're amazing for sharing your journey. In no way do I think this suggestion can heal all the emotions that you're dealing with - but reading this book has helped me to reframe how I think about emotions, self esteem etc. I hope it doesn't come off condescending to suggest a book...but anyways, its titled "How Emotions are Made" by Lisa Feldmann Barrett :)
Sometimes it's easier to process Big Shit when you're further away from it, and feel secure enough to break down or deal with it. And it'll seem like a depression, but it's actually just (emotional) digestion.
When I first became disabled I hated seeing people ad they would ask what had happened. It got to the point when I was sick of having to tell the story. Slowly I began to realise that this was me and started to love myself again. I did get really depressed as my daughter was pregnant, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do things with the baby, but when he came along I managed. Keep smiling and remember that the person you were is still here just a bit different. There is light at the end of the tunnel xxxx
This may sound weird, but do u have any xrays of your leg for the amputation? I’m studying osteology, and am super curious of the bones and how they looked before and after! If you’ve already shown, please let me know!
Be proud Jo! You just ticked some of those goals 💪🏻 going out especially with the wheelchair but it’s the safest way with that slushy snow 🙌🏻You’re right in not putting emotions and feelings in boxes instead of working thru them, that why going to counselling is so important even on good days - I always go in not knowing what to say too then end up really getting into it. It takes a good couple days to work thru those sessions as it brings up things you weren’t focusing on. The lack of sleep and sleepless nights are the worst though I’m still working on that now, there’s nothing more frustrating than watching the sun rise - set - then rise again and only being able to cat nap and not have a proper nights sleep 🤦🏼♀️ Ive found that an electric blanket can help calm 👻 pains and muscle cramps (if your hubby doesn’t like them there are those pads that cover a smaller area) sending 🤗🤗🤗
I’ve been dealing with the snow/ice stuff also. With crutches it’s very scary. Fortunately I’ve been receiving lots of assistance from kind strangers. Some help I accept but sometimes I just want to try and do things on my own. I think it’s difficult for others to understand what it’s really like living with a “handicap”...I know I didn’t before my accident. I’m surprised how isolated and helpless I feel right now.
Made me think of opening invisible, even metaphorical doors. Another amazing video. I hope you get (if you aren't already) to do counseling, support work.You would be terrific at it. Have to say I get angry, and have realized it serves a great purpose. It's a way of resetting emotions, some sort of reset button. I really hope you don't hold back on all the amazing, great, new possibilities that could only happen because of the surgery. Not sure if that's a kind of repression? Thanks for the amazing, thought provoking videos, Jo.
I know what you mean about needing to deal with your emotions when things happen and not just shove it to the side. A little back story. 2 years ago I got diagnosed with a very rare brain disease and it was making me go blind. I almost lost all my vision but with medication it kept things at bay and I was able to get better. I had a child, a job and a husband to worry about so I just didn’t really let myself feel anything and I put all those emotions away. Well after my 2nd child was born my condition came back very aggressively and stopped responding to medicine and the only way to save my vision was with emergency brain surgery. I finally had to face everything. And it was HARD. I’m much better now but having to face the most terrifying thing ever but act like I was ok to everyone else was even harder to bare. I finally excepted that I could go blind, and that this is my life now. It’s kind of freeing when you finally let yourself feel again.
I think I know what I'd tell nosey folk... but I'm "purposely" kinda strange. I'd tell'em "I can't stop biting my toenails"! (gotta cause you to smile when I can)
When i made a paper about depression, i intervieuwed a pshychiatrist who said that the good days where you feel like you don't need to go to therapie are the most important once. Because on a bad day you often just deal with the emotions of that day. Where as on good days you can work better on the emotions that you stored away in your closet. this prevent the closet from baking down because you overfilled it with unprocesd emotions. So pleas, i beg you, never skip a therapie sesion because you are having a good day !!
I think you are truly amazing and a very strong woman. Your husband sounds like a really good guy. I never thought about how much needing someone else to be around was a big deal, now I totally understand. My husband even checks things beforehand to see how the handicapped assistance is before we go, so we know if I need my walker, wheelchair, cane or all of the above. I can't imagine going into the post office would be easy on crutches (plus your packages) and it's icy out. I think it's fantastic to be seeing a counselor and you are open about talking about your feelings. I really need to find one that deals with chronic pain. Or maybe it doesn't even matter, just a regular counselor could help. Do you see one that deals with pain or is a regular kind?
Yeah, that old adage about how the only way out is through....hate that one. Really sucks sometimes but I agree that it is true. Realistically, as a trauma survivor yourself, in more than one way, perhaps you developed that 'non-reaction' to circumstances like I did, and yeah, it makes sense that the emotions show up in other ways. Sigh. Doesn't mean you can't hate that fact. Been there, done that.
Cristin Watts I think non-reaction is the best way to describe my reaction to many things - thank you for that description. Going cold is much easier than feeling the heat of emotions - for some reason that is much less safe. I’m sorry that you too have been there, done that. We aren’t alone. 💜
I have a question.. besides therapy I’ve seen that you’ve taken a lot of time to care for yourself, and to prepare yourself for what was to come. In your other videos you talked about talking to other amputees and asking them questions. It seems like you allowed yourself to feel your fear even before your amputation. Did your family and friends help facilitate the support and resources you needed in order to process and recover, or do you feel that those efforts were mostly of your own independent desire to go through this journey in an emotionally and mentally healthy way? Where do you think that courage and that dedication to yourself came from, and how can someone who is going through their own personal journey foster that same kind of dedication to their own self care? (I’m sorry if I made this question too complicated!)
When people look at you it’s because they see an amazingly strong, courageous person that they respect and admire. Not the negative things you think they do. Be proud, be strong. Your amazing!
Laurie Welch For real tho. Humans are naturally curious, seeing a beautiful woman in a wheelchair just makes people wonder how and why and what she went through. Especially when she is by herself, I would be thinking "Wow, what a badass"
This is true for some people but I have overheard some of the most horrible things that people could say. I've had people smirk and laugh at me. It's very hard to take somedays
Hi you are amazing. I suffer from Pain everyday, I have chronic pain syndrome due to an injury I received in the military, I also go to counseling every two weeks. One of the things I have to overcome is the image of myself that I think people see.
fiecare dată trebuie să ai curaj să te ridici nu contează când ai picioare sau nu ai altceva în schimb trebuie să ai curaj cu cât ai curaj cu Atâta îi putea să mergi mult mai repede peste traumele pe care le ai avut în viață trebuie să înțelegi că trebuie să te ridici în fiecare dată cu câte litigii cu atâta vei putea ajunge la nivel cât trage varul fier care poate să ajungă în situația asta fiecare dintre noi trebuie să ajutăm pe fiecare persoana respectivă cu câte ajutăm cu atâtea se poate ridica
do you ever get the feeling like your foot is still there? i remember my great aunt used to tell me she felt ‘itchy toes’ do you experience that? if you do what’s it like?❤️❤️
Marilyn Scull oh here is your question! 😊 Sorry I missed it before! The short answer is absolutely. I struggle to actually ask for help from strangers right now even if I need it. Humbling myself and not trying to “look” independent is hard so if someone does simple things like open the door I appreciate it. If it’s more intrusive things like trying to get a wheelchair for me when I say I don’t need one, I don’t like that, but courteous things like door opening is lovely.
Fellings can be overrated, however, they can help you gauge your response. Trust God, and remind satan he has no claim on you. Btw, I, for one, see how good you look. So take that and run with it. Btw2, your husband knows it well also
I gotta tell you... I absolutely love you for so many reasons... there isn't a hug that's big enough to send you! I just love your posts, you're just so super awesome amazing... I hope you know you've touched so many people from all over just by being such an amzing person, in addition to your fantastic (as always) content!
Your attitude towards your situation is inspiring. You’re giving someone else in the world in the same situation hope, keep fighting and pushing !
Wow. Thinking of "grief" not as a mood, but as a label for an otherwise-unnamed series of *actual actions* someone is taking - the comprehensive act of slowing-down-to-process-new-emotions - was a really helpful insight for me just now, and I wouldn't have 'gotten there' without your thoughts and this video, so... thanks, Jo. You're doing great - and you're helping.
this hit very close to home. i’m not an amputee, and i’m very thankful for that, but i have felt great pain and anger and sadness and sometimes my brain just doesn’t want to process that. i ignore it like it’s just not there and it only makes everything worse. i’m so so proud of you jo :,) thank you for sharing this with us.
I feel the no time to deal with the emotions, and expressing what you think others need to see. The hospital loved my drive, my humour after the ampuation. Inside I was screaming, crying, scared? Angry, sad, uggghh. It is hard. You ARE strong. Never doubt that. Thank you for sharing, as always. hugs
You are so amazing! I discovered your channel last night and I just had to subscribe! Last night you were at 27k and now your at 32k! That’s amazing! You are such a role model to anyone experiencing the same thing!
I don’t even have anything like an amputation and would be too nervous going to a coffee shop alone and making a video by myself. I would feel like everyone was watching/staring at/judging me for whatever reason - so you go girl - you are amazing and I admire you so much!
“Every great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and life. Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than with pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.”
-Rachel Naomi Remen M.D.
This quote is one that got me to start the grieving process after losing my mom. For the first time I didn’t see that road as a dark pit to sit in the sorrow and pain, but rather a path to a better understanding, a better, stronger me. It still brings tears to my eyes.
I just binged like 5 of your videos! I am also local to Colorado, so I was intrigued when you mentioned Denver. Your experience with repressing emotions really resonated with me, and I agree you have to learn to fully feel and go through something to heal. It's an ongoing process. Thank you for sharing your story.
Having my first awful day post amputation 2.5 months and after 55 procedures. I knew it was the RIGHT decision for me, yes it’s hard, but like you I feel I’m not allowed a bad day, to be fearful or teary. Everyone is so used to me being brave and trying to make things easier for them but thank you for your post. I don’t get angry either, but I’ve been so angry today it made me genuinely sad and not feel ok x thank you for all you do x. I literally felt the same as you! Sleep is scary and anxiety is so cruel x m proud but I feel I’m not off days which sucks x
Thank you for this. I'm struggling with my anxiety lately. So bad. I haven't found a good councilor yet, so I ended up just stopping that journey and went back to shoving things in corners as I go through the process of diagnosing an auto immune disease. Mentally, I'm not handling that well. You gave me the push I needed to call and get that help again. ❤️ thank you.
“Putting emotions on shelves”...wow I don’t think I’ve ever related to something as much as this
You are so brave to go theough what you have been through im 26 will be 27 this year in may and i wouldnt be able to make a decission like that to have a limb amputated i love how your so positive in your videos i just descovered your channle today and you have a new suscriber as of today 💕
You're really an inspiration!❤
Great video and share! Love the awareness and it makes a difference to those struggling! Subbed to your channel and found inspiration here for my channel! Keep doing you!
Beautiful video, embracing your emotions is the best way to process them, you have had so many changes in a short time and life has been unfair which it is sometimes, however it is ok to feel all of the emotions that go with it. Without emotions good or bad like would be pretty boring. So take the time to feel what comes and process them, after all you are writing a new chanter in your book of life.
Hey im a new sub and i just wanna say you are amazing im disabled myself (not amputee) but hearing a story like yours is awesome love the updates and everything
Hi Wig Flew welcome to my channel I’m so happy to have you here! Thank you for subscribing! 😊 I’m so glad that sharing my story can help in any way, thanks for being a part of my journey!!
I’m so glad I came across your channel. Even with all the struggles you’re going through, you still keep yourself together and stay really strong and optimistic. But even in general, It’s seriously so inspiring to me the way you handle situations.
I subscribed to you a couple of days ago, and you had 18K subscribers and now you have 23K! And I'm so glad people are following along with you; I think you're brilliant. I could listen to you speak all day long (and quite frankly, it seems like I have as I've binged your channel!), you're so well spoken and have so much to say on not just your experience with making the choice to amputate your leg, but on mental health and just life in general. And I love it. You also remind me of Lena Hall (actress, was in Kinky Boots and Hedwig and The Angry Inch, both on broadway!), but I can't pinpoint why just yet!
Again Jo...welcome to being human!! 😀 How are you feeling physically? Are you feeling better as time passes? Are you in a better physical position without the ankle? We all have issues with adjustment. It is just a fact of being human. As you think about the emotional and mental side, pay some attention to how you are feeling physically. Maybe that might help you navigate the mental/emotional side of your journey. Just another point to ponder. Again, many thanks for leading us all on this journey of self discovery. 🙏🙏🙏👏👏👏
In a few years, or months, you won't even notice people staring at you anymore. I have cerebral palsy and use a power chair, and people stare at me a lot in public. But I don't see it unless my friends or family mention it. Over the years, I've become much more confident in my right to exist as I am, and so I don't think as much about how other people react to me.
Also, I totally relate to the repressed emotions around trauma. The struggle is real. But I get better at feeling things all the time
I don’t know how I found your channel but I’m so glad I did. Your words hit me deep. I’m physically disabled from both a genetic disease and a spinal cord injury almost 4 years ago that took away my ability to walk, and it wasn’t til very recently that I started going back to my therapist. The past 3 and a half years I’ve genuinely been stuck in a rut and unable to process the emotional and physical trauma that I went through and am still going through. I have so much to learn about this but this video honestly makes me feel less alone. Our circumstances are different but mentally and emotionally there are many parallels. Thank you so much for not just this video, but your sincerity and openness about your situation 💜
When I see people like you I never ever think oh look at that weirdo. Not at all! I only think oh look at that weirdo when I'm at Walmart and it's truly a weirdo. 😂 In all seriousness, if I saw you in public with no foot and didn't know you from Eve I would honestly think, "there's a pretty girl that's been through something really difficult and even though I don't know her or what exactly she has been through she is awesome because she isn't letting that foot hold her back." Then I would be looking for any way to help you without insulting your independence and trying to think of the right thing to say.
On a separate note, your filming and editing skills are awesome. Keep up the good work! The camera, like us, loves you!
You are a beautiful, strong person, honestly I'm one of those people who is all in favor of shoving any and all emotions deep down inside and just never letting them out, I thought I was very good at it... Until I had an out of the blue mental breakdown. You keep doing you and taking those steps, working or your mind set and just keep going you are one strong as all hell individual and it's helpful for me to watch you/ listen to you process things because it helps me learn how to too 💙
A big thank you right back at you!! Keep up the good work!
I honestly have so much I wish I could talk to you about, I wish I lived closer so we could hang out. I hope you always obtain the confidence in your decision, I know you always will but I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Don’t let it hinder your experience here on earth
'I need to emotionally participate in this journey...I think that's what grief means'
Different experience, but I also struggle to express anger. Thank you for reminding me that it's there for a reason.
Take care,
Casey
Shady Wilbury thank you for sharing that with me Casey! It’s good to know that I’m also not alone in struggling to express anger...it’s a really hard one. But we definitely aren’t alone. We’ve got this. 💜
I have a tendon problems, four months of constant pain . I won’t even dare compare myself to any type of pain you’ve had to endure, it must have been excruciatingly unbearable ! Just suffering through this minor pain compared to yours , I mean there are days I have to say I wish I didn’t have the ankle, so yes , foot pain is real and horribly painful. I totally get where your coming from ..... the limb has rebelled .
This..this video REALLY hit home. Thank you so much for sharing this, I know it's a vulnerable thing to talk about.
8 years ago when my grandma died it was the first emotionally traumatic experience as a young adult (16). I didn't know anything about healthy coping skills or mental health. I saw that my family was putting on a tough face so that's what I did too. Since then I've had several emotionally traumatic experiences and every time my reaction has been to put it on the shelf as you said. In my experience this causes constant anxiety and insecurities, occasional meltdown when the shelf gets overloaded so to speak, and worst of all, my brain is trained to repress things I don't want repressed even if they cause only moderate stress. This means I forget important things I need to do both at work and home because when I go to sleep at night my brain reboots like a computer and throws all the stress into a junk bin. This slowly but ultimately took it's final toll on me in 2018 all but ruining my life, both at home and at work. I couldn't remember what I was doing as I was doing it if I was stressed at work. And at home bills were being totally forgotten.
Two things have helped, mostly it's YOU Jo! You have helped me see the need to get through things not over under or around. And you didn't teach me this skill just today, it's been a theme all along in your videos that I've been following. Today you just summed it up and put a bow on it. So with your help I'm making progress sorting through the stored up emotions and not storing new ones up anymore. But I still had issues with important daily things going to the 'junk bin'. So starting last week I bought a pocket sized note book and keep constant notes in it all day long both at work and home. I jot things down randomly as needed but the main thing I do is right Morning to-dos, Work to-dos, and After work to-dos and check them off as I go. In one week my life has completely changed. I have my short-term memory coming back already and I'm a productive member of society again. Thanks again for all your wisdom, kind words, and personal thoughts you bravely share. I sincerely love you Jo, you are my BEST cyber friend ever.
Oh my gosh, the memory thing - me too. There have been huge periods in my life (and lately) where I literally feel like my brain and/or memory is broken because I completely forget important things, conversations, bills, etc. Its like there's a giant gaping hole in my mind - but that's trauma brain. You're so right. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so many things, and experience the brain stress and trauma, too. And gosh I am so glad I could impact in any way! Sorting through the junk bin is so im[ortant. I keep a list in to-doist, which helps me sort through my brain to-do, and then I keep the bullet journal for everything! Thank you for all of your continual encouraging comments, and for sharing pieces of your life with me and this community!
@@FootlessJo you're welcome cyber sis. I'm here for the long haul. Often I binge watch a TH-cam channel and rarely or never come back to it. But how could I ever get tired or disinterested in you, I mean seriously! Watching your videos is literally therapy to me. A close family member the other day suggested I seek therapy and I told them about you. Then they said, sounds like you found just what you need. This channel is my medicine, if I disappear something must have happened.
Jo thank you for putting these videos out there. You are an inspiration and you are beautiful and not weird. You are a warrior in this battle of silly judgmental others!
@@skeetsmcgrew3282 danggggg itttt I hate auto correct
Alexa Martino oh my gosh Haha! First of all, autocorrect gets me all the time! Secondly, thank you Alexa, truly, so much. 😊💜
Your honesty dealing with this journey is so real. Thank for sharing it.
Ron Anderson thank you so much for listening 💜
Your editing skills are beautiful!
You are amazing. I think you're handling this so much better than I would. Have you, I know it sounds goofy, tried primal scream therapy? Just get off into the woods, light a fire and let it ALL out. Dig out the anxiety, pain, fear and roar. Bellow it out cry your eyes dry then tell it to stay away. It was very cathartic.
Hawk 1966 wow that actually sounds amazing. I need to give this a try
Omgoodness...I so do this!!!! It's awesome (unless an unsuspecting hiker is near)... lol
Very good idea!!
I did this exactly once and it felt more like a crack in my mental health rather than a release. I did, however, one time smash an old broken television with a board. That was the most empty I've ever felt, it was like every emotion I had poured out onto that TV. It's a hella big mess tho
Hawk 1966 ironically my counselor literally suggested something like that haha!! It sounds amazingly therapeutic...but yeah. Really hope no hikers are around 🤣
Hi Jo! I just found your channel!! And I already feel that you are my friend!! Thanks for being so strong but so real at the same time, thanks for being helpful with your words and your experience. Your way of seeing life just inspires me. Thanks darling! Greeting from Panamá 💗🌴
Awh thank you so much Monica! Hi back from Colorado!!! You are so sweet and I'm so glad you're here :-)
Omg! You replied! 😭 Girl, I just want to tell you that you are an awesome woman. For Real
Good to see you getting out solo. Keep doing it, especially to the same haunts. People will see you over and over and break past the awkwardness of 'How do I say HI to an amputee?' Be open to saying "Hi, How are you doing today?" When they ask you how you are doing, you can answer, "Every day is getting better." How can anybody not respond in a positive way to your wonderful smile? Those interactions with others will flood your body and mind with good chemistry.
Normal is not just walking smoothy with a prosthetic leg. Normal is getting out and seeing people, both acquaintances and strangers. We love engaging the children who cannot help but stare. They break down barriers quickly.
btw, You look great, with or without make-up. Keep smiling.
Recently discovered your channel and subbed immediately! LOVE YOUR CONTENT! I actually have a question. I’m wondering your feelings on people calling you an “inspiration”. I’ve heard mixed thoughts on that particular subject from those with physical challenges, and you are always so thoughtful about things that I’m curious what you think. I really, genuinely feel so inspired by your ability to be so open and honest about all your experiences, but I feel weird saying that because I totally know you’re just a normal human!!! Sending love from a total stranger 💕
I had almost a month of waiting to get my leg cut it was hard not to get into head i wish it was just two weeks. You are doing so well getting out and doing stuff that makes you uncomfortable. Glad you have such a wonderful husband you are blessed. I still want to know how you walk in snow because i would be flat on my face every 5 seconds lol. You getting out has helped me a lot getting me out of my house because i hate the looks or stares from people when i am wheeling around.
You should be proud. You will overcome this Jo.
You are so so so brave. Thank you. You give me the strength to accept and feel through my own emotions.
I love your vids sooooo much #Notificationsquad
Having time to process emotions is so very important indeed. I had three weeks between my thyroid cancer diagnosis and my removal surgery. For three weeks I was busy figuring out work details and telling everyone how OK I was. After this less visible, but life changing surgery, after cancer, the hospital did not offer mental support. It took three years and a lot of struggles with my hormones for my doctor to send me to a therapist saying that it looked like I had developped a form of PTSD. Shortly after I started therapy, I had another sad event in my life and we had to focus on that, and then, before we could really tackle the matter of health, I moved back to my country and left my therapist behind, with a lot of health related anxiety.
So where everyone would say "be strong", I'd say don't. Don't even try. By feeling down, crying, feeling angry or sad, you allow yourself to process a trauma. It can't be processed the same way we process a paper cut, it's a major event and it is important to acknowledge it. And you can see it as a learning experience, where you learn about yourself. Who are we in the face of anger, pain, loss?
It also takes away all of the guilt of feeling happy when you're really happy.
Anyway, long ramble, also have pizza sometimes 😊
Hey there! I think you're amazing for sharing your journey. In no way do I think this suggestion can heal all the emotions that you're dealing with - but reading this book has helped me to reframe how I think about emotions, self esteem etc. I hope it doesn't come off condescending to suggest a book...but anyways, its titled "How Emotions are Made" by Lisa Feldmann Barrett :)
Sometimes it's easier to process Big Shit when you're further away from it, and feel secure enough to break down or deal with it. And it'll seem like a depression, but it's actually just (emotional) digestion.
I have a lot to say, but I'll save it, just to let you know I'm listening to this while doing a back workout.
Where did you come from? Where did you go? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM FOOTLESS JO
Now I have that song in my head. Awesome song
When I first became disabled I hated seeing people ad they would ask what had happened. It got to the point when I was sick of having to tell the story. Slowly I began to realise that this was me and started to love myself again. I did get really depressed as my daughter was pregnant, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do things with the baby, but when he came along I managed. Keep smiling and remember that the person you were is still here just a bit different. There is light at the end of the tunnel xxxx
I live in Colorado Springs too!
This may sound weird, but do u have any xrays of your leg for the amputation? I’m studying osteology, and am super curious of the bones and how they looked before and after! If you’ve already shown, please let me know!
Yes then
Be proud Jo! You just ticked some of those goals 💪🏻 going out especially with the wheelchair but it’s the safest way with that slushy snow 🙌🏻You’re right in not putting emotions and feelings in boxes instead of working thru them, that why going to counselling is so important even on good days - I always go in not knowing what to say too then end up really getting into it. It takes a good couple days to work thru those sessions as it brings up things you weren’t focusing on. The lack of sleep and sleepless nights are the worst though I’m still working on that now, there’s nothing more frustrating than watching the sun rise - set - then rise again and only being able to cat nap and not have a proper nights sleep 🤦🏼♀️ Ive found that an electric blanket can help calm 👻 pains and muscle cramps (if your hubby doesn’t like them there are those pads that cover a smaller area) sending 🤗🤗🤗
thank you for this.
I’ve been dealing with the snow/ice stuff also. With crutches it’s very scary. Fortunately I’ve been receiving lots of assistance from kind strangers. Some help I accept but sometimes I just want to try and do things on my own. I think it’s difficult for others to understand what it’s really like living with a “handicap”...I know I didn’t before my accident. I’m surprised how isolated and helpless I feel right now.
Had no idea you're an artist! Very cool!! I love to doodle but that's about it lol
Made me think of opening invisible, even metaphorical doors. Another amazing video. I hope you get (if you aren't already) to do counseling, support work.You would be terrific at it.
Have to say I get angry, and have realized it serves a great purpose. It's a way of resetting emotions, some sort of reset button. I really hope you don't hold back on all the amazing, great, new possibilities that could only happen because of the surgery. Not sure if that's a kind of repression? Thanks for the amazing, thought provoking videos, Jo.
I know what you mean about needing to deal with your emotions when things happen and not just shove it to the side. A little back story. 2 years ago I got diagnosed with a very rare brain disease and it was making me go blind. I almost lost all my vision but with medication it kept things at bay and I was able to get better. I had a child, a job and a husband to worry about so I just didn’t really let myself feel anything and I put all those emotions away. Well after my 2nd child was born my condition came back very aggressively and stopped responding to medicine and the only way to save my vision was with emergency brain surgery. I finally had to face everything. And it was HARD. I’m much better now but having to face the most terrifying thing ever but act like I was ok to everyone else was even harder to bare. I finally excepted that I could go blind, and that this is my life now. It’s kind of freeing when you finally let yourself feel again.
I think I know what I'd tell nosey folk...
but I'm "purposely" kinda strange.
I'd tell'em "I can't stop biting my toenails"!
(gotta cause you to smile when I can)
I've had surgery to my arm and nerves were cut, i lost a lot of ability and sensation in my hand, but over a few years i got everything back.
Never do that, let them always out!
Eduardo Padilla so true. Life is much better that way! 😊
@@FootlessJo great you believe it now! keep going your way! :)
When i made a paper about depression, i intervieuwed a pshychiatrist who said that the good days where you feel like you don't need to go to therapie are the most important once. Because on a bad day you often just deal with the emotions of that day. Where as on good days you can work better on the emotions that you stored away in your closet. this prevent the closet from baking down because you overfilled it with unprocesd emotions.
So pleas, i beg you, never skip a therapie sesion because you are having a good day !!
Dries Brosens it’s so true and that makes so much sense! I’ve definitely seen and experienced that over and over myself!
I think you are truly amazing and a very strong woman. Your husband sounds like a really good guy. I never thought about how much needing someone else to be around was a big deal, now I totally understand. My husband even checks things beforehand to see how the handicapped assistance is before we go, so we know if I need my walker, wheelchair, cane or all of the above. I can't imagine going into the post office would be easy on crutches (plus your packages) and it's icy out. I think it's fantastic to be seeing a counselor and you are open about talking about your feelings. I really need to find one that deals with chronic pain. Or maybe it doesn't even matter, just a regular counselor could help. Do you see one that deals with pain or is a regular kind?
Yeah, that old adage about how the only way out is through....hate that one. Really sucks sometimes but I agree that it is true. Realistically, as a trauma survivor yourself, in more than one way, perhaps you developed that 'non-reaction' to circumstances like I did, and yeah, it makes sense that the emotions show up in other ways. Sigh. Doesn't mean you can't hate that fact. Been there, done that.
Cristin Watts I think non-reaction is the best way to describe my reaction to many things - thank you for that description. Going cold is much easier than feeling the heat of emotions - for some reason that is much less safe. I’m sorry that you too have been there, done that. We aren’t alone. 💜
I have a question.. besides therapy I’ve seen that you’ve taken a lot of time to care for yourself, and to prepare yourself for what was to come. In your other videos you talked about talking to other amputees and asking them questions. It seems like you allowed yourself to feel your fear even before your amputation. Did your family and friends help facilitate the support and resources you needed in order to process and recover, or do you feel that those efforts were mostly of your own independent desire to go through this journey in an emotionally and mentally healthy way? Where do you think that courage and that dedication to yourself came from, and how can someone who is going through their own personal journey foster that same kind of dedication to their own self care?
(I’m sorry if I made this question too complicated!)
When people look at you it’s because they see an amazingly strong, courageous person that they respect and admire. Not the negative things you think they do. Be proud, be strong. Your amazing!
Laurie Welch For real tho. Humans are naturally curious, seeing a beautiful woman in a wheelchair just makes people wonder how and why and what she went through. Especially when she is by herself, I would be thinking "Wow, what a badass"
Skeets McGrew I totally agree!
This is true for some people but I have overheard some of the most horrible things that people could say. I've had people smirk and laugh at me. It's very hard to take somedays
Are you amputating your leg?
Proud of you!!! .....and it sounds like you’re blessed with an awesome husband like I have!!!!
Hi you are amazing. I suffer from Pain everyday, I have chronic pain syndrome due to an injury I received in the military, I also go to counseling every two weeks. One of the things I have to overcome is the image of myself that I think people see.
Weird question but does anyone know if that's Utah
Its Colorado! :-)
@@FootlessJo oh ok nice
fiecare dată trebuie să ai curaj să te ridici nu contează când ai picioare sau nu ai altceva în schimb trebuie să ai curaj cu cât ai curaj cu Atâta îi putea să mergi mult mai repede peste traumele pe care le ai avut în viață trebuie să înțelegi că trebuie să te ridici în fiecare dată cu câte litigii cu atâta vei putea ajunge la nivel cât trage varul fier care poate să ajungă în situația asta fiecare dintre noi trebuie să ajutăm pe fiecare persoana respectivă cu câte ajutăm cu atâtea se poate ridica
do you ever get the feeling like your foot is still there? i remember my great aunt used to tell me she felt ‘itchy toes’ do you experience that? if you do what’s it like?❤️❤️
I have a question if someone opens the door for you is that ok?
Marilyn Scull oh here is your question! 😊 Sorry I missed it before! The short answer is absolutely. I struggle to actually ask for help from strangers right now even if I need it. Humbling myself and not trying to “look” independent is hard so if someone does simple things like open the door I appreciate it. If it’s more intrusive things like trying to get a wheelchair for me when I say I don’t need one, I don’t like that, but courteous things like door opening is lovely.
you can t run why you amputed your leg
Why couldn't you just have the nerves cut to your foot? Thats basically what you did having your foot cut off?
Fellings can be overrated, however, they can help you gauge your response. Trust God, and remind satan he has no claim on you. Btw, I, for one, see how good you look. So take that and run with it. Btw2, your husband knows it well also
Uribe Lauren hill basketball player
No one cares