We need a TH-cam doctor like doctor Mike or someone like him to make a videos interview with you to help destroy this issue with intersex erasure and other issues like it.
An aquaintance of mine is also intersex, the doctors did surgery to her without conscent of the parents, they told the parents "bladder problems" Imagine being mutilated in childhood and you dont even have the correct paperwork to prove it. It's basically institutional gaslighting.
I'm calling BS on that. Laws about informed concent are very strick in the United States. Very very few doctors are willing to through away there license away like that. What kinda of surgery did they have, because if it's true and informed concent wasn't given you could easily lawyer up and win big.
42:17 Bruh she LITERALLY had to self diagnose. That is an insane amount of work for someone to have to do all because no doctors would help her. Minus the one place that actually did help her. What a story dude. I hope more intersex people come out and share their stories too.
Considering that about 1.7% of people in the US have her condition, if not less if you start getting into the exact specifics of her case (1.7% just refers to the blanket biological intersex condition, her case is likely much lower), it's not something that a doctor could really expect to see in their lifetime. Doctors may learn about the various conditions in medical school, but unless it's something they specifically specialize in, you can't really expect them to know what's going on. It's not that the doctors wouldn't help her, but rather they were dealing with something that they may have only read about in passing in medical school, or had a lecture on; but had never actually seen in their practice. She notes that it's rare enough that unless the doctor was an endocrinologist (which is a glandular specialist), they wouldn't know what they were looking at to begin with.
@@KibuFox See the funny thing is about that whole "doctors may learn about various conditions but they won't know unless they're specialized", that's why my condition (EDS) is symbolized with zebra stripes. There's a saying in med school that is "if you hear hoofbeats, don't expect a zebra". But here's the thing that makes the whole thing fall apart. My condition might be more common then how it is portrayed. It's just doctors, even specialized doctors, misdiagnose it as something else. Hell I had to get a blood test for my EDS diagnosis.
@@KibuFox 1.7% is fully something that a doctor could expect to see in their lifetime. Especially because it's not "1.7% of people will get [thing], it's 1.7% of people have [thing], and will always have [thing]." for reference, 0.0592% of the UK population died of covid. 1.7% is fucking massive.
She had to face discrimination at home, church, school, and medical facilities, even Planned Parenthood, just to be able to say, "this is what I am!" Self conviction is a thing I give my respects to. She should be proud of herself for being able to stand up and fight for what she believes in, and bringing to light the unconventional nature of what individuals such as herself have to deal with on a daily basis.
It's really fucked up how people are actually lied to by thier doctors. So infuriating. I can just hope that our generation and younger doctors will do better and people like her don't have to go through shit like this.
Kinda hope that as more kids are brought up to accept more things, the less people with awful mindsets will be present… It’s disappointing to know that that probably won’t happen in my lifetime though, if at all
@@evewhoo I mean... a lot kids in Europe (highschool and further in education) have right mindsets and want to do that but they need to gain the majority of votes for elections because of many old people being selfish senile pricks voting for their own comfort and outnumbering younger people with votes for now but in 2-3 decades it will likely be fixed
@@evewhoo many of them still can't vote or are too scared to vote but once they get a little push for help and support then it will cause Domino effect as they often help eachother nowadays and there aren't as many situations of bullying anymore because other kids stand up for eachother
@@TheRealNiktWazny No, those old senile people thought the same things when they were young. The young of today will inevitably be the elderly pricks of the future. That and with the rise of far left extremists painting all of their detractors as far right and LiTerAlLy nAzIs it is also possible they swing the pendulum to the other extreme ruining what little progress has been made since the early 2010s. I despise both sides but if I had to pick one it definitely wouldn't be the side that's pro sexualizing minors.
here, in Ukraine and other post-soviet countries, doctors won't only tell you the truth, they will often recommend the most redical treatment there is. For example, in the West, people with silent gallstones are not sent for the surgery since the chance of them getting symptomatic is very low (1% a year), here they usually recommend a surgery right away (ofc except the cases when doctors studied abroad or read a lot of western literature), in the west, acute apendicitis is sometimes being treated with antibiotics so a bit more than a half of the patients will never have an appendectomy and all the stress that comes with the surgery. Here, the antibiotical treatment of that is not even a thing, only surgery, which is still very safe, but at least trying antibiotics would've saved a lot of people from mental stress
I respect the fuck out of this woman, because I would fold like a chair. Having to work so hard with the whole of existence basically gaslighting her? Fucking incredible, and disheartening that she had to do her own medical stuff. 'Tooth and Nail' is this entire story.. Thanks for sharing!
This had some similarities with Evie's story, which was also very interesting because doctors just didn't want to accept that fact that she was clearly intersex. Intersex seems like a condition to which doctor's don't want to admit to. I feel so bad for people with an intersex condition, and I hope this becomes more accepted by doctors (did I just have to say that I hope a condition gets accepted by medical staff?)
She would make a great doctor/ advocate for intersex patients. Going as far as learning medical stuff to do research on your own body is something a future prodigy doctor would do. Also investigating to find your biological parents would make you a good investigator too! You would think doctors would have all the answers and can separate themselves from their obsessions and biases but sadly that isn't true.
Bro, this woman is literally a main character. She literally bought medical equipment and learned how to use it on her own and looked at her own cells and then tracked down her parents by looking at names of ppl in the entire US. Absolute gigachad behaviour
Has she though of going into private investigation? Or medical school? Or other medical/science studies? Good lord. She is her own hero, and an inspiration to many people.
I went to college for mechanical engineering and microbiology with the intent to go to johns hopkins for medical school. Unfortunately the brain surgery and covid right after ruined that.
Doctors: "You need several notes from us and years of healthcare with us before we even consider letting you transition. We don't want to do unnecessary surgery when it's not right for you." Also Doctors: "Lol this 5 minute-old baby looks weird lets perform surgery to make them normal." Sometimes the Medical Scientific community can be beyond pig headed, and much love to @54653blob for sticking up for herself and getting the care she needed.
Personally I'm intactivist... I believe all non-medically necessary surgeries should be illegal for children, and 'not normal' should not automatically count as a medical emergency. I don't support medically transitioning children, but I also don't support 'fixing' intersex children or doing purely cosmetic alterations like circumcisions. Children can not consent and should be kept whole so that they can decide what is best for themselves as young adults.
@@ANPC-pi9vu I mostly agree, though puberty blockers are totally worth it for the number of suicides they prevent, if we think a kid can't consent to cosmetic surgery then who boy can they not consent to jumping off a bridge. But also there are a lot of *""not medically necessary""* surgeries that are very necessary to the quality of life of children, things like knee surgery, limb extension for people with dwarfism, and other bits of stuff like removal of skin growths and other things.
Lets not forget they routinely circumcise males at birth based on faulty and ancient practices and dubious medical science. This is completely normalized. Children are basically slaves.
@@atashgallagher5139 Personally if we say we want "kids to be intact" I think puberty blockers is the only real way to do that. Letting a child go through puberty, whether a trans or cis puberty, is changing their body in ways they may not want. If you have any doubts about what they may want, giving them extra time to make sure before they undergo irreversible change is the most humane way to do it. Overall though, any conversation about what's "too much" transitioning for kids is unrealistic, because we're not dealing with a world of overly-transitioning youth. We're in a world that forces children to _not_ transition, or judges them harshly if they do. When we get to the point where kids can freely transition and the regret rate is even over 0.5%, I'd consider it, but right now if people are more concerned about a kid transitioning too early they're missing mountains and obsessing over molehills.
Sometimes, but very rarely, intersex people or animals can end up dying... which is why they do that, but its not justified to cut off a working organ!
Doctors drive me up the wall man I swear. I'm trans and disabled and Im only 2 years younger than this girl. I too walk with a cane because I have osteoarthritis that was caused by a STILL UNKNOWN CONDITION. It took medical professionals 10 YEARS of in and out visits, MRIs, XRAYS, bloodtests etc to actually believe that I had been suffering for so long. This still unknown condition has crippled me since I was 10 years old and by the time Im around 25-30 there is a high chance I wont really be able to walk anymore. Im on a waiting list for a specialist (FINALLY) and for some stupid reason, they have labeled my case as not an urgency. The waiting time is looking to be around a year if Im lucky. This makes me so mad because not even my parents have to wait that long for anything like that and they have better movement than I do. And in terms of hormone stuff, so far have been waiting about 8 months or so and keep being denied because every time they test my blood they find the slightest anomaly (that is NEVER an actual concern because they tell me so) and have to keep retesting. so far I've had 6 or so and my 7th will be next month. And they are also denying me because my depression/anxiety levels are too high when 90% of the time Im depressed because Im NOT on T yet. Im not intersex as far as I know, but hearing that stuff about doctors not telling you anything and actively denying intersex conditions just makes me so mad. Hopefully the younger generation of doctors come through soon and the old ones retire. Sorry I know this is a long post, hearing all this stuff just makes me so mad with the medical system haha
In your case you should look into medical tourism. You might be able to see someone way sooner and at lower cost in a developing country where your money will go farther and there are hospitals built with medical tourists in mind, so usually language services available. In the First World there's an aging population of the baby boomer population with declining birth rates after the baby boom ended leading to a shortage of young people going into the medical field. Some types of specialists are too scarce to meet demands and of course the asshole boomers hog it all for themselves.
You should strongly consider looking into hormone treatment. I'm 17 and have been hobbling around with a cane since I was 14 and it took years to get a doctor to actually do the goddamned blood test because they were worried it would come back positive for a deficiency and that it still wouldn't be my problem and even if it did they wouldn't treat it. I have the blood tests scheduled for three and a half hours from now and a doctor that uses medicine in their medicine and I cannot believe I'm going to be able to walk again and exercise and all of that stuff. I'm getting put on growth hormone, IGF-1, and possibly Testosterone.
My mom went through something similar, she’s not trans or anything but she had hard time getting doctors to believe she has a condition (right now it’s fibromyalgia, which might be arthritis in the future) and it took her so long to finally get a doctor to get a look at her and believe her once and for y’all that she did, in fact, had a condition. It sucks honestly, the entire medical system sucks major ass and it’s horrible the amount of pain my mom has been through-
@@atashgallagher5139 If a doctor was refusing you simple blood tests, report them for malpractice to the board and also leave them negative reviews on any platforms for finding doctors so that other people know to avoid them. They aren't doing the bare minimum of their job which is testing and giving referrals to see the correct specialists for possible problems. That is insane.
The way she became more of a doctor than the doctors she tried to get help and answers from. Without a degree obviously. Like what the actual hell Also, I honestly admire how hard she fought and worked to get the answers and results she wanted for her own body and to find her biological parents because I’ve heard how freaking hard that is, and I know finding my own would take years of almost fruitless searching. Mad respect for her. Truly
As a trans person myself this video was really interesting to watch and those last minutes were really important, thanks to the girl in the video and to you Azeal to give her a place to talk about her story ❤❤.
Looking at her own DNA? Doing her own colonoscopy? Damn she's a badass Huge respect for how she refused to just accept a shitty situation and worked and researched to find answers and change it. Doing all that research ain't easy. (Of course, she shouldn't have to be in this situation in the first place with how often the doctors lied and dismissed her conditions)
I love the age of information, I'm so glad there's resources online for intersex people like that. And by god, she's a genius! I couldn't do anything like what she's done for herself. All the research, all the time spent. So determined, truly an inspiring woman! I'm very glad you shared this with all of us.
my favorite parts of the video was when the bully said "oh sorry" and completely left them alone, and when their uncle said "how's my neice doing?" it really warmed my heart :)
Doctors: we really don't wanna tell you your a little weird because we don't know what you'll do Also Doctors: yup, you have Terminal 7, you have 5 weeks to live, hav fun telling everyone that even though it might be a miss diagnosis.
Blood test doctor: "The tests came back, and you are a perfectly normal **flips coin - edge** **flips coin - edge** **flips coin - edge** **flips coin - edge** **tips coin** man." X-ray doctor: "Perfectly normal male parts, perfectly normal female parts, and a nickle-sized tumor on the brain." Death: "How tough is she? I give up."
I can understand the doctors initially denying hormones with the chance on what it could do to the tumor but god that sucks. Everything involved in that just seems like a horror situation. I hope her life has gotten better.
The ending got me tearing up. It's terrible what young trans people have to deal with, while people are barely edjucated on it and barely anyone cares. As a trans person myself, I was also very depressed between ages 11 (or 12?) to early 14 because of all of the dysphoria, which I did not know how to put into words because I still barely knew anything about it. All I knew is that "I hated myself, the way I look, and the fact people put me with my AGABs." and I still do, but it has gotten much better thanks to my amazing best friend who is the reason I didn't have the courage to KMS during that time.
Ik... I'm non-binary, and EVERYONE still assumes that I'm a girl immediately. Sometimes, they just forget that I'm non-binary. GOD it is so infuriating.
I feel you about having to pay for stuff myself and also doing your own research. I had suspected my tinnitus was due to blood flow in my neck as I found on my mri and ct that the right and left internal jugular veins were compressed (even though it wasn't noted on the report). So I went to a vascular doctor and asked that they check my ijv's with ultrasound. They checked and said everything was fine. So I said, did you check the internal jugular veins like I asked? No, they said only the arteries. So, I said can you please check my internal jugular veins? And did another appointment. And the techs were panicked. They were scared and were going to refer me to the ER but the doctor said I'm fine. So then the results come a week later (the techs can't tell me what they see) and the doctor says I'm fine. I know I'm not fine. I go pay out-of-pocket myself and I get a ctv head and neck and they find I have no blood flow in my right ijv and a little in the left. So blood is barely draining from my brain. And 70% of people with this condition have tinnitus. So I find out a month after that on my original report, my ultrasound techs had written that I definitely have a problem and I need a CT. And the doctor had read that and told me I was fine. And I had multiple doctors also tell me that it doesn't matter if your ijv's are compressed. It does matter. Depending on how compressed, it cuts of blood flow from your brain. So obviously a problem. And multiple neurovascular surgeons agree with me. But it's a god damned nightmare to get tested and to question doctors and getting any doctors to be honest with me. Like god help anyone that doesn't have a run-of-the-mill condition. Hell I went to the ER last weekend because my mouth was so swollen and in pain that I couldn't eat. They had no idea what to do. Went to a nurse the next week and yeah it's a yeast infection. And guess where I got the yeast infection - from a doctor! I had an endoscopy and immediately after I got the yeast infection. And guess what the doctor said? I probably already had that. Oh yeah, I never had a yeast infection my whole life and suddenly after you doing stuff in my mouth I get one, but it's just a coincidence? Sure. Sure. And I've got a dozen more stories like this. I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. I know the dismay, the heart break. I know what it's like when everyone who is supposed to love you looks at you like you are crazy for persisting in proving doctors wrong. Also you are tough as hell, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for going into detail and saying everything you did. 🥺😢 I haven't started with going on my medical check up route yet because I'm trying to set things up mentally. But I've had people doubt me and gaslight me so many times So hearing just how much you get it and have had to fight it is really important to me 🥺😢 I hope you're okay and I wish you the best 🧡 Thank you again
So an interesting portion of their condition, Chimerism, is how it all works. The person is two people; while developing in the womb, one fetus absorbs another, and because their immune systems are functionally suppressed or nonexistent while developing, the two fetuses grow together into one individual, now with two strains of DNA. I've heard examples of Chimeras who live their entire lives with only some mild immune system problems - the two groups of DNA don't fight each other because they've always been together - but perhaps that's atypical. If I remember correctly, there's a point where the immune system of the one will finally turn on the other, but immunosuppressants help. When that point is, is different for each Chimera, but from what I've researched years ago, it does usually happen eventually.
Damn intersex medical earsure ! She almost DIED due to not having her hormonal imbalance diagnosed... I _still_ don't understand why doctors lack so much curiosity about this subject, but I'm happy she told one of the main reasons for it, though that's such a dumb reason given the circumstances (like, wouldn't most patients self-diagnose all those symptoms ?!). Also, Goddess that endrocrino was blind. She sees someone with a "male" dossier, a d... and _C-cups_ and says dead to their face "you don't look intersex". She should have her licence revoked, and same with that urologist. Wait scratch that (seeing 41:00), she was openly malicious and needs jail time, or at least indefinite revocation due to willingly breaking the Hippocratic Oath. Also, holy f..k... the fact that the center for intersex disorders were kid mutilators is insane. They get _taxpayer money_ to _protect_ intersex people from those barbaric practices, and it all goes into financing those practices. This is so absurdly heinous and has to be stopped ! However, props to the family for ranging from dismissive to actually accepting. She got so lucky there even though a better one would've be more supportive, but she still dodged a lot of bullets there too. And _anti-props_ to Planned Parenthood for somehow being interphobic despite being trans allies ! They need to be told about the Struggle for Alterity and its universality.
dumbasses will even claim intersex is made up and woke culture, they are that ignorant, they are that unhinged. The hatred and dismissal towards not everyone fitting their insanely narrow definitions of sex and gender feels like some sort of extremely specific cluster B personality disorder
bro i think this helped me a lot. idk whats really goin on in me or in my head, but it helps me out to know that people with even stricter families can live in coexistence, and even love each other. i was really worried about that, and im feeling a lot more confident with this story. thank you.
I worked for a while in a tube feeding private medical practice and we had a male in his 70s that had to suddenly change treatment because they had abnormal bleeding after trying to connect the feeding tube. Apparently, the location the tube was placed pierced a hidden, fully formed uterus and then the patient had internal bleeding, as they started having periods. They were in such shock at the time and I really hope they are doing better now. Intersex is more common than you might think. Thank you for sharing you story.
@@Dice-Z actually, many people probably don’t know their are intersex because it’s only obvious in their chromosomes. Intersex is more than just people with abnormal reproductive biology
@@Dice-Z but doctors denying hard evidence to say you’re “normal”, performing surgeries lying that they are necessary when they actually are gender reassignment surgeries, all to say you aren’t intersex and brushing it off as rare ain’t it. That contributes to restriction on finding real reflections of the number of intersex people that exist. Also causes harm to the patient.
@@Dice-Z 1.7% of people worldwide are intersex. 1-2% of all people worldwide are ginger haired. Just some perspective that we basically have the same amount of intersex people as we do red heads.
Like the others who replied to your comment, I also agree that it's not rare to be intersex. There is SO much erasure, it's honestly depressing. I also want to add, I hate how people are comfortable with things just because they think they're "normal" Men being able to walk around at night relatively safely while women are literally risking their lives, or their bodies, (and people may even Blame them for being attacked) is considered normal. Also, just because something may not be as common as something else, doesn't make it "abnormal," "weird," OR "unnatural" either. I'm not really saying this for you specifically i just want to throw it out there for anyone to think about
I've been trying to get on HRT for 2 years now, endlessly stuck on waiting lists and doctors that simply deny it. Maybe I should just start DIYing it because dysphoria is getting to a point where I have daily mental breakdowns, shaking and crying for hours at times
2 years?! Wow thats messed up. so far for me its been maybe 8 or so months or something like that. Idk how it works where you are, but in my country they wont give you hormones until after bloodtests are normal (they will keep retesting even if a slight anomaly is found. Ive had about 6 bloodtests so far and 7th will be next month) and when your depression and/or anxiety levels are low enough. The second part of that can be so stupid because majority of the time the other trans ppl from my country that I know r severely depressed BECAUSE they can't get hormones. One of my trans friends tried to take her life so many times in the time it took for her to get on E because she didn't yet have access to HRT. I am also considering going the DIY route because Im getting pretty desperate but I have no clue what I'd be doing haha. Anyways, stay strong my friend! I hope everything eventually comes through for you! ♥
@@BRAETONIXX it should normally only take about a year where I live. You have to go to a psychiatrist (usual waiting time about 6 months) and do a 6 month long therapie to get diagnosed. Once you get the diagnosis everything goes quite fast. The problem is that you have to find a therpist that actually does that diagnosis. I had to wait 7 months for the first one and he just said to me that he doesn't know how to do these therapies and that I have to search another one. That were 7 months waiting for nothing. Then for the next one I didn't have to wait as long (only 4 months) but for some reason I still don't know to this day, he fucking ghosted me after we had 3 sessions. And now I'm on the waiting list for the third one in the hope that I can finally start an unnaccesary therapie so that the medical system has a prove that I'm actually trans. The therapie itself consists of trying to convince you that you're not trans, so further mental torture ontop of everything. and the most fucked up thing about everything. informed consent clinics are illegal regarding that topic in my country. So I can't even pay for the treatment myself. Welcome to german burocracy
@@sorakoyo2673 Being questioned is uncomfortable but it's far from torture. It's to keep transtrenders and people who are confused from fucking up their body irrevocably. In the end it's still only cosmetic surgery. If there is something deeply wrong with your mental health it won't work and will only cause you physical pain in return for a band-aid for your psychological pain.
@@KopitioBozynski, you're a bigot, and you know it. According to people like you, I'm a transtrender, but hrt and surgeries have been my lifesaver. I hope you wake up someday and realize to be a better person and support people even though you don't understand their pain. I used to think like you. It was the most miserable time of my life sincerely from a transmasculine non-binary Xenogender that's living its best life two years on testosterone and not joking, almost 4 weeks post-op from hysterectomy and Top surgery.
I’ve only watched the first bit, because I’m currently at church, but what she’s saying about the LDS church is accurate. (I’m technically Mormon, I can’t leave until I’m 18) It’s bad. I go to 8 hours of church a week, which I don’t really see as normal. I hold 2 callings. I’m in charge of the youth for organizing events. I’m 17. It’s hard to leave. I’ve been put in charge of so so much.
17, in charge of youth? You ARE YOUTH. I've heard you also got stereotypes when it comes to activities. Boys get the cool trips while girls barely leave the place and activities have to do with how to be a housewife, etc.
My parents left after my dad got back from his mission. IF you want to keep in touch with family, theres this thing you can do which is sort of like Indefinat leave. You don't practice, but you don't technically leave the church, so people can still talk to you. Only problem is that missionaries will drop by every once in a while to try to get you to become practicing again. I don't remember much more but I could ask my parents more about it. Hope this helps in someway.
Also, of that 1% of people who Detransition the number of people who detransitioned because it wasn't right for them less than 1% of that number. Most people who detransition do so due to social pressures, life issues, marital problems, et cetera. And it is quite common detransitioners re-transition later. Needs to also be said that the study used in the UK to block trans healthcare for teens, didn't even have any trans people in it. Sudden Onset Gender Dysphoria is a condition not coined form study of trans people, but rather their confused narcissistic parents who have obviously poor relationships with their children. This study has been used in Texas and the UK to block trans healthcare several times now. Also, there was 4600 new cases of trans teens starting trans related healthcare, and the GOP in the US spent 50 MILLION dollars to convince parents these kids represent some kind of evil agenda. Needs also be said that trans healthcare has less regret than all other kinds of surgery. Funny enough, rhinoplasty (nose surgery) has a higher rate of regret than trans surgeries. Funny how trans regret only matters when it applies to healthcare conservatives and TERFs don't agree with.
these stories need to be more out there. Doctors pull this sort of bs way too often. I had a chronic illness that basically made it so i could barely exist or stay awake, and for four-five years of having a half-life, losing connections with everyone, all my friends and not being able to go out snd have fun through basically all of high school, and getting told 'he's doing it for attention" or 'to get out of school' or the worst one, 'it's all in his head' if it's all in my head, if this thing in my head is ruining my life, FIX. MY. HEAD. Turns out it wasn't in my head, but my spinal chord. Great. Took five years of going to every single type specislist in existence (even acupuncture and a few nutjobs who had EMF scanners which i never want to speak to again) in to figure out 'yeah, maybe your heart beating as hard as running a marathon from you simply standing up isn't normal' also the alternative school i went to has it's entire system set pretty much built around fat, high blood pressure, and depressed people. I was critically underweight, with a low blood pressure (made rediculously low because of the illness) and (fucking somehow, i have no idea how) not depressed or with anxiety (as in not unreasonable anxiety. i was anxious ofc). Maybe that has something to do with extreme adhd. either way there was this 'how would you feel if you lowered your blood pressure and lost 30 lbs thing' I was 6', under 100lbs, with very low blood pressure. I'm pretty sure 'dead' was a fair answer, but somehow I still had to explain that to the schoom that no, that was not a suicide threat, the reason I am in this alternative school in the first place was that I was very underweight with super low blood-pressure, magnified by a pots dysautonomia (the illness). If you're feeling really, really shit at anywhere in puberty age, to the point where it's debilitating, google pots dysautonomia. Please.
I'm not the best wordsmith, so I'll just say: thank you for telling us your story! I'm also very glad to hear things are starting to go in a better direction for intersex people (in terms of medical professionals having to acknowledge that they exist).
This person has had the worst childhood/teenage-hood simply because people have been denying her being... Nonetheless she has been fighting with all her power to proof that she is who she is. Hopefully she'll be able to live her life happily. Stay strong!
as a trans girl who is yet to receive hrt cause my dad is super transphobic and homophobic, this gives me so much hope about developing a body that doesn’t make me dysphoric and dysmorphic and it she gives me so much inspiration :D
I hope you can get on hrt in the near future! It's your idiot father's loss to miss out on having wonderful daughter. Go and thrive living your own life the way you want to. You can drop off nasty people out of your life (if you're an adult I mean. If you're underage, then you might maybe try to find a relative who's supportive of you and live with them until adulthood, if you can.) Remember to be careful too, there's really horrible people out there too. Wishing you the best! ✨
I am a preteen trans man and it was really hard growing up in Texas and being trans, I hated being called “daughter, sister, beautiful, sweetheart, mija, Mattea(what my mom calls me sometimes, she calls my brother Matteo meaning it’s clearly gendered name)” I came out as trans 2 years ago I think, I’ve had these thoughts since I was 6. I surround myself with many people who support or are like me and are trans and gay, heck my first lover was gay and I didn’t even know till I obviously dated them. (we’re not together anymore I just wanted to mention that) I wish I had access to safe hormones and a transition therapist because in Texas trans kids are being taken away from their parents, I’ve heard many have killed themselves because of Texas’ harsh views and laws on Lgbtq kids. My parents said they will move out of this state if it gets worse for me and I’m glad they will do that, however my mom, she is a doctor and she knows about everything. Binders, hormones, etc but she doesn’t consider how it will help me if I take it. Testosterone is reversible, binders aren’t permanent, I’ve done research and found ways to not hurt myself if I have a binder but she still won’t consider it. The suicidal rate for trans kids is high, I know that, and I’m on of those kids too. I’m struggling to accept myself but I can’t accept myself if people can’t accept me first.
This sounds really tough 🥺 I'm sorry you're in a really bad environment. I hope you can move out as Soon as you're legally allowed to, I'd guess 18. Tbh if they're already doing horrible things like kidnapping trans people in texas that should be reason enough for your parents to move. Your life is just more at risk there. I would honestly tell your parents that. Because people can be really cruel. I live in Pennsylvania, and I'm very obviously androgynous (I'm nonbinary) I have gotten a lot of comments on my appearance since i realized i was NB, but i still got hired at a job by a boss who's accepting of me being not strictly cishetmono, AND being disabled. Sadly I gotta find a new job But there's hope in some places. I'm glad your parents aren't super hostile or denying of you at least. I really hope things go well for you 🧡 One thing that kinda helps my dysphoria that i actually just now realized, is instead of hugging something (person, stuffed animal, whatever) or Imagining hugging, I sorta zoom in and just focus on like, my head being wrapped up (in someone's arms, or blankets, or touching my forehead to someone's, real or imagined) I think this is a useful idea for people who have dysphoria with their chest, which hugging usually involves lol. Dunno if this is helpful but i hope so 🤘 I wish you the best 🧡
One of the strongest and wisest people I've ever heard, and a powerful story about fighting for a comfortable, happy life even through all the adversities you've faced. I hope you can live a fulfilling life and things keep getting better for you!
Former LDS Missionary here, served in a tricky part of Chicago. Can confirm, no weapons allowed. I did get training on how to deal with muggers, but it generally boiled down to give up your valuables, and report ASAP. Safety check ins happened twice a day, too.
I just can't comprehend why some people find it so hard to understand that not all humans are the same. It's such a simple thing and yet they don't get that. I never experienced anything absolutely terrible, but I do have my own little bit of input on this. I am genderfluid, so I don't really identify as either gender. Growing up I was told I'm a girl, and I was just like "ok then" until I entered around middle school. In middle school I started to feel a little off. I couldn't really relate to "girl things" that much, so I thought maybe I feel more like a boy. I tried acting a little more masculine(according to stereotypes), for example walking like my dad, being a little more sporty, and trying to lift heavy things (failed miserably). For unrelated reasons however, I got really depressed throughout 8th grade and the summer afterwards. Then come highschool, I decided to stop acting like that, and just acted more like I naturally would. I took a philosophy class in 9th grade, which really sparked a new thinking process for me. I started looking at things with deeper thoughts, and it was also around that time I really afirmed that I am an atheist. Then later on, there was what is called a "spirit week" that happens sometimes at my school. One of the days was basically crossdressing. I was pretty excited for this at first, but then when I thought about how I was going to dress, I felt this sharp pain in my heart (mental). I had no idea what I was feeling, but all I could tell was just that it hurt so badly. The pain only subsided when I admittedly, hurt myself (not enough to draw excessive amounts of blood). The next day, I didn't change my usual outfit at all, and just went to school wearing my normal uniform. Then finally, in later years, I learned more about the genders, and realized genderfluid fit me the most. I felt really repulsed whenever I was referred to as a girl, but I also didn't really feel like a boy either. I realized later on that this was the very reason why I felt so in pain for that spirit week day, basically because it felt like I was denying who I am and admitting I am one or the other gender. And then came the time where I wanted to come out to my parents. With my mom, it went very smoothly. She was a little bit confused at first, but was very accepting of me (albeit she still calls me a she, I can't really blame her since it does feel awkward to refer to me as they all of a sudden). My dad however, he denied it completely. He's someone who is more stubborn than a mule. When he decides something is so, he will not let up. Especially when it comes to this type of thing. But at least I'm lucky he doesn't decide to disown me. The thing he said that made me feel the worst, however, was "I love you anyway." Keyword, "anyway." Basically, he sees me "deluding myself to believe I am genderfluid due to the misleading internet" to be a flaw. Let me tell you, I wouldn't have harmed myself in literal agony at my own identity if my feelings weren't true. I know I do sound like I am complaining, but really, I am soooo grateful by how lucky I was. My mom doesn't treat me any differently, my dad completely wiped from his memory that I came out (i guess its better than him degrading me?), and I live a relatively stable life. For those of you who are legit struggling, I want you to know that you are valid, and should never just give up on living the way you want to. It may be tough, but I think it may be even tougher on you in the long run if you deny your own feelings. Please don't give up.
Thank you 🥺🧡🧡🧡 You are Not complaining. Everything you feel, including your pain, is completely valid. I suppose it is better if your father just ignores you rather than directly oppose you violently, but i would definitely not stay near him whenever you get the chance to get away. Even if someone is in passive opposition or denial, they're still othering you and hurting you. You deserve Way better than that. At some point your father should Want to question himself. He may not do that, but that's what a parent Should do. I think your mom having difficulty Starting is completely understandable. But over time she should definitely make an effort to change. Just because something is easy to keep doing doesn't mean it's right. I feel you so hardcore on so much of this. Including on suddenly feeling a sharp emotional pain and not realizing what it is until later I get that pretty often actually (to varying degrees with all the parts that make up the experience) because I struggle with dissociation. I also feel you on the painful simple yet important wording. I have two trauma inducing memories like that that immediately jump to mind. Chronologically, I had to move away all of a sudden from my parents house when i realized just how much time i was stuck being oppressed and just.. Not Dying (croods reference) When i blocked my father he said something like that but not as similar. But it was a lie because love is mutual and he can't love me if he can't accept me and actually love Me, instead of his Idea of me. The other time was with my brother. He basically said the same thing your dad said, "i love you anyway" but more like "i still see you as the same person even if you change so it doesn't matter to me" I'm dead tired now so kinda just dipping, might come back later. But thanks for saying what you did 🧡🧡🧡
I understand aspects of her experience because of having a genetic disorder that didn't show signs of existing until I was 15. When I started showing signs and my health suddenly took a massive turn for the worse no doctor could figure out what was going on. I am currently dealing with bone decay at 23 and I already have EDS so my shits a goddamn nightmare. I had to self diagnose the EDS until I was 18 and then I finally found a doctor who looked me over, listened to all my symptoms and went "Yeah you have EDS". It's wild how often doctors will hear you say what you're symptoms are and they get very defensive or refuse to acknowledge the issue is outside of their expertise. I saw so many neurologists who thought my issues were in their wheelhouse, but the neurological and nerve pain issues i struggle with come from the EDS. I can't necessarily relate to being intersex, but I'm a transman (FtM) so I understand a lot of that medical wheelhouse too. I'm really glad she got to talk about all of this and tell her story! It's nice to hear someones story, especially one that might never have been spread otherwise.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with your comment 🥺 I don't know if you're interested but I read this autobiographical memoir by someone who's also a trans man, and I just figured I'd recommend it to you cuz of that Could be interesting for you, or something you could like, pass on to someone as a piece of content worth referencing Also because I liked it and I had some big things in common with some of the authors experience It's called A Year Without A Name by Cyrus Dunham 🧡
i was there for the stream, this was amazing, thank you this was really helpful, i had never heard of intersex people before, and this taught me o much, thank you
that ending made me cry. this was such a emotionally moving story, thank you for sharing with us. hopefully a lot of aspiring doctors watch this and decide to do better than their elders. and hopefully, we as a society can just become better at believing people about their problems
And me over here unable to even get someone to see what kind of arthritis I have or what causes the 10- 40 lbs of swelling in my body(and that may be low because that only goes based on weight fluctuations at different times of day). Took waaaaaay too much effort to even get an autoimmune disorder tested for let alone diagnosed and it was my mental health care CNA(I have c ptsd and in the past few years depression was recognized: that took longer because of my history and how the auto immune disorder is: I have yet to find someone who will help figure it out so untreated it plays absolute havoc and takes my thyroid for a wild ride), who also had stuff she had trouble getting medical doctors to help figure out, took one look at me and said ‘something is up’ asked a question, heard the answer, and ordered a test. Had to take the test to a doctor to confirm it meant what we knew it did and lo and behold… it did. Another doctor later confirmed(years after the fact and only when dealing with a life threatening complication) that I didn’t have other autoimmune disorders at this time. Nothing they could justify testing for anyway. I’ve even had a doctor try to justify over treating it to try to induce weight loss, without consulting or even telling me(did not work btw because I didn’t eat myself this way and something is clearly wrong but who’s going to listen to me even though my history points to there being multiple things that could cause specific issues nobody tested for that would explain a lot). And as far as I know I’m not intersex. If I was though, I’d feel robbed. I decided not to transition because my current relationships but also because it wouldn’t be enough for me considering I’ve wondered for a long time(some of my health issues and even the type of hip displatia I had before radiation destroyed those joints entirely so you can’t even see enough left to tell anything but that I don’t have them anymore, was the kind boys normally get). I would not surprise me but it would appall me. Mind it also wouldn’t surprise me if I wasn’t intersex. At some point there is so many odd things with your health being told something isn’t the answer or having doctors who don’t check anything and the lack of resources to check becomes something you become kinda desensitized to answers one way or another because you kinda have to in order to maintain sanity. A doctor who lies to me once is a doctor I leave because I have dealt with that before and my healthcare was even negatively effected because I didn’t know something important. Fuck doctors who decide lying and sneaking or using people as Guinea pigs is okay. Fuck em. I wonder how many people are intersex but don’t know it and end up gaslit and called mental cases for feeling as they feel and just never know. I wonder how many trans or non-binary people were born intersex and just never know. For reference I just use female pronouns for simplicity’s sake and because It’s too exhausting to make social interactions more complicated. I am already intensely socially anxious. Note: My mental health providers were not at any point aware I had any issue with my physical gender beyond a long ass time ago when I was told it was because I’d been sexually assaulted. While I’ve got my issues from that it existed before and persisted long after. I’ve avoided since then because it’s not anything I go to them to deal with and I’d prefer not to talk about it with providers and I feel like we don’t tell people enough that you can opt to leave it out if you feel like you’ll be pressured one way or another about it or just don’t want to deal with whatever perceptions people have about it or have the ‘what do you prefer to be called’ or being told ‘you are just confused’ etc. I decided it wasn’t worth dealing with. Unlike my cptsd it doesn’t negatively effect my life. I came to terms with the body I was born in, even if I will never be happy with it, a very long time ago. At some point it’s okay to decide what is and is not worth what efforts and what you have the energy to deal with. I could never deal with that many specialists at once, considering my history involved medical abuse, both with and without outside prompting, being raised by someone who was clearly making me sick and making crap up to get me treated for(which fucked my body up in all sorts of ways just by itself), and all many of things… it’s already a lot to go to a doctor, especially new ones but in general, in the first place. I have a rule of thumb. If they give me the runaround a certain number of times I stop engaging with them. Like this one I had last year who refused to deal with the testing I could have after the test they preferred caused me serious side effects in the first place and made me horrendously sick. Normally it would be fine but some people are not fine and I am just one of those people. They refused to acknowledge it and tried to set me up to have that test anyway, which I refused. Then refused to discuss it or have an appointment to discuss it until I got the test but then required seeing them for an appointment to get a different test instead, but then required I go get the test that walked back function of my kidneys among other things and side effects while I’d been dealing with a kidney injury btw and most def could not afford that side effect, and it just kept going in circles so I gave up and just stopped engaging. Nothing got done but then nothing was getting done while they pulled that repetitive ‘wear you down’ bullshit. Too many do that. My thing is at some point you just have nothing left to spare to deal with even one more helping of bullshit or just stuff to deal with period, so you decide what to trim or just not deal with in the first place. Deciding what matters most for one’s own wellbeing is rather a personal decision no one else should be making but you. It’s a necessary skill. I can’t even get that stuff handled though but she is over here spending a fortune to do her own lab work and even perform her own tests herself. I don’t have the money nor the mental energy to spare. I operate in a deficiency in both areas as it is. Props to her. Very proud of her.
There is no middle ground here. No peace of mind, no moments of respite, this woman just hops from the unluckiest circumstances to the greatest of lucky breaks, only to be struck by more unlucky circumstances.
That 2nd mass sounds like an aneurysm. Or given her chimerism, a serious risk of autoimmune complications. I hope she and her doctors keep an eye on it.
I'm mtf trans pre transition. I've only really just begun to deal with this but hearing this kind of story feels like I'm breathing fresh air for the first time in a long while in a time when I feel like I can't imagine the future or how wonderful it would feel to be look like a woman anymore. This story was so relatable. It's been really hard to live with this and even though I'd known in some way since I was 12 I wasn't able to admit it to myself until I was 20 and I wasn't able to come out to anyone until this year. My brother and sister were accepting of it, but when I first tried coming out to my mom I wussed out and told her I was gay instead and she took it horribly and told me that I ruin everything, so I just don't bother talking with her about it and she pretends like it never happened and continues to live in a fantasy world where I'm her perfect handsome son who'll bring home a pretty girl someday. Hearing this kind of story gives me hope for the future. And DAMN! Growing triple Ds in a MONTH!? What a fucking dream
@@luifernando4002 there are certainly a lot of problems and erasure in the medical field when it comes to trans people, but there are so many positives to transitioning. I'm still a teen but I am on T, the medical side of things was a true nightmare but once it was over it got so much better. I believe in you, and you deserve to be happy and yourself. If your mother doesn't respect who you are, then you don't owe her anything. Be yourself!
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother not accepting you :( I had to move away from my parents. They were so oppressive that I barely had room to think. I spent so much time escaping out of necessity, that after i moved out and my emotions started opening up, i realized i was queer/nombinary-trans in some ways. I don't know what the legal age for being able to move out is where you are, but definitely look it up, and do all you can to accrue savings. Moving out as soon as you are able is really important for your safety and mental health. If you still like your mom you can just keep her phone number or Facebook or something. But if someone's at that level of denial, it's not a good idea to live with them. I've sorta made it to the other side in that regard so i can tell you that it's definitely worth it I also recommend making as many connections as possible. Including online acquaintances- and make sure you can hear their voice so you know they're genuine. You deserve to find people who are safe for you to be around. And you can do it. 🧡
I think "saccade" is the name for the eye movements. Its so frustrating to have to go to 8 different specialists, and then they don't necessarily talk to one another.
It baffles me how often doctors and medical practices will lie or purposefully ignore some medical conditions. Even IF there's some who fake it, even IF it looks to be unlikely, I don't understand why they would rather take the chance of ignoring someone who is in genuine need of help. I have a chronic condition that is pretty unnoticeable from the outside, and while luckily I have a nurse mom and have been fairly lucky with medical care, I have had some experiences with doctors dismissing it. Hopefully the attitude of medical fields in general will improve in the future and will be more open-minded.
Stories like this really make me want to have a job in the medical field where I can be the type of person who accepts you for who you are and tells you what conditions you have, even if they're rare. I want to be the type of person that doesn't do 4 different tests and lies that there was nothing wrong just to deny your condition.
I'm willing to bet a lot of doctors, generalists and nurses started out like this, but got so fed up with idiots and the ammount of bs they have to deal with and study that they stopped trying, got pessimistic and became the very thing they swore to destroy.
At the same time, complacency is an insidious killer, and it especially has NO PLACE in medicine or science. And don't get me started on the complete lack of empathy.
I swear you don't even know how angry it mades me when they said "I woke up and my adoptive dad said "are you still trans?"" your child literally has just fucking woke up from the most riskiest surgery ever and the first thing that comes to your mind is if they are still trans, not even how are you feeling, are you alive, are you safe and sound or I'm so happy you're still here?
jfc the depths those doctors went to, to do nothing at all. and I thought the trouble I was having just trying to get a decent therapist or a doc that doesn't immediately fat shame was a nightmare. I can't imagine what the years and years of waiting and eventually getting screwed over by the people who's literal **jobs** it is to help people was like.
I love your videos, they really help to shine a light on the things others have to deal with that I as a straight white man does not have much insight on. I've always been very liberal and accepting of others for who they are, but it is still really great getting to learn about what others have to deal with and it gives me the ability to emphasize better with their struggles. Thank you for doing these and please continue making them, they are an awesome resource.
I would heavily advise speaking to a lawyer skilled in malpractice law. If you don’t have at least a handful of viable cases I would be utterly surprised. Good luck in life ❤
I know that this condition is not fun to live with (especially with the medical erasure of intersex as a condition), but getting to say “I’m a chimera” is kind of badass. I hope that in the future intersex conditions just get more understanding and acceptance as a reality so these auto-immune issues are able to be more easily dealt with without having to jump through so many hoops. But I’m super proud of you for taking the initiative to get yourself the help you *need*.
As a non-binary person, i learned a lot about doctors and more into medical stuff just from this one video. Its pretty f^cked up on what these Doctors do. And currently now going into severe dysphoria since i’ve found out last year(that i was non-binary) its hard with these feelings and just this was a really huge help, I’d personally want to say thank you for this.
This is very interesting and also heart wrenching to hear from from someone who is taking classes to be a medical profesional. I felt the anger, disbelief and icredulous and am thoroughly apalled by the actions of these professonals. The whole video, I was thinking about how my genetics teacher had taught my class that gender isnt fluid its more nuance and gray. This was the first time I've beem told this by anyone who is not only older than me, but also an acredited source whos not only flunt in doing her own reasearch. She encourages us to do our own from ONLY peer reviwed sorces. When talking about medical/scientific subjects and how to understand that something like gender isnt black and white. I thought it seemed obvious, but the more she broke it down to the chromosome level. I learned in depth how your genitals don't equal your gender, how chromosomes can act any way they want and how your body can react to that in tandem... Above all, she encouraged us to be kind to each other and to always keep an open mind. I'm so sorry you had to deal with these interactions and i hope things get better for the future for you 💝
A lot of people get arthritis when they are young. Some when very young. However, typically, very young to midteens, don't have anything quite like the hell you are going through. Hipdisplsia, has got to be yet another hell, of it's own. And you're still among us. I am properly impressed by your strength and resolve. I don't think I could have done that without failing, and falling apart. You are an awesome example for the world at large. Keep it up. You have more than proven you are worth great and deep respect.
A big part of what keeps my from ending it all is that the thought of being buried under my deadname and forever being remembered as a woman just deeply brings me discomfort, even though I wouldn't have to be around to see this.
speaking as a Holiness Christian Mormonism sounds so outrageous to me, I can't bring myself to respect a sect that has so little faith in their faithful that they would groom them that aggressively and I certainly cannot understand the ridiculousness of going to a third world country and asking the people you are trying to convince of your beliefs they should be the ones paying you 10% of their earnings. and before the bible-burners lay into me please understand that holiness Christianity is the actual poorest kind (to the best of my knowledge), no political or monetary gain to be made from it, it's basically the religious equivalent of someone building a town library for people to gather at and learn if they so wish, except it's a church. (typically built and maintained by a community of Holiness Christians so their families can have an opportunity to learn about our faith and traditions, make prayer requests and seek some kind of human empathy from their fellow believers and participate in community events and just network and meet others in the community like them.)
I’m so sorry you had to go through all that to just figure yourself out honestly there needs to be more doctors who acknowledge that intersex people exist and thank you for bringing awareness to this also your the fma reference was great
I have a genetic condition called EDS. I've had so many similar experiences myself. In fact, we think my bipolar is actually an adrenaline issue, with the glands releasing more than they should be, mimicking Bipolar. It's been prohibitively expensive to get any real testing done, and I'm an anomaly, sometimes even in the EDS community. At least the doctor who wanted to study me asked first and was amazing and upfront the whole way and great to work with. My understanding is I'm actually in her textbook on EDS.
Great video Azeal. Thanks for giving Vixie a space to talk. I want to start by saying I'm from an Evangelic Christian home. My dad is a biologist, but teaches science in highschool and college. We both saw some videos about intersex people around 5 months ago because I got curious, about the topic. It's very common for people to judge everyone just by looking at them, when in reality you should pay care and attention and learn what is going on with them. It is incredible the little information you are given on ED class about this stuff, and even on books there really isn't anything if you don't search for it. I believe, people have the RIGHT to be diagnosed and treated correctly to help them and their bodies be in more harmony with gender affirming care. My dad was really sad hearing everything Vixie went through and sends much love to her, as do I. We hope she gets better and has a fulfilling life 💕 Thanks for sharing your story Vixie!
You are one of the strongest people I have ever heard of. Your story is absolutely incredible and inspiring, and your message to trans people at the end made me cry, it means so much. Hearing your story of medical abuse and refusal of care, then researching and getting the tools to figure it out yourself is incredible! I’m in a really rough place right now, as a trans person stuck in Florida, so hearing your story is immensely inspiring. Thank you
Still in the beginning of the video but I relate so much. I'm transmale and knew I didnt identify with my birth gender from a really young age. Probably 4 or 5, like the speaker. My earliest memory of me realizing was when I was once clothes shopping with my mom. I asked my mom if I could shop in the boys section, giving the reason "boys clothes are more comfortable" but that wasn't the full reason. Mainly, I felt like a boy and wanted to present myself as such. My mom sternly told me no, it hurt. Couple years later, perhaps 10 at the most, I figured I was a tomboy, emphasis on "boy." At the time it was my word for "transgender" but I didnt yet know of that. I asked my friends if they thought I was a tomboy, they told me yes and it made me happy. Later I asked my mom, she said no and I cried. I think the biggest realization, now that I'm older and understand what I was feeling, was when I was in 4th grade and learning about puberty. The boys and girls were separated and made to watch a video. I deadass did not pay attention because 1) I felt I was in the wrong room and 2) I thought I would somehow be a boy by the time any of that would happen. You can probably imagine my horror when I didnt magically become male. I learned at 14 that I'm trans. I'm 19 now, still have yet to come out to my parents. I know they arent supportive though, so I'm waiting till I move out. I started college last year and have slowly been telling people I go by he/him. It makes me extremely nervous, because I've had a number of bad experience, but also very happy. Since I have yet to finish the video I'm not sure where the speaker is on her path, but I hope she's doing well and in a place where she's happy.
I'm so sorry you have to walk on eggshells all the time, especially with your own parents 🥺🥺 i hope you can move away from them safely, find people who accept you, and do what you have to do to be comfortable in your own body. 🧡🧡🧡
I’m glad she’s doing well and has such supportive friends and family. She had to deal with a body that caused her so much confusion and pain, had a brain tumor which caused her so much distress, and dealt with medical practitioners that kept lying to her and she shouldn’t have needed to go through that when all she wanted was to get an accurate report.
Gosh this is so fascinating and she's so incredibly informed. I'm really impressed! She could be her own provider. She's so young, too, she could be a really big advocate for intersex with that amount of intelligence.
Oh my god, if i had to go through this stuff i wouldn't know what to do. congrats on her though for sticking through with life and all the problems it gave her. In the end she's stronger than at the start of all that shit, if not physically but mentally.
I'm sorry to hear that she had to go through this shit in medicine but I was surprised how unique she is and it amazes me I hope she's going to solve her health issues and live a happy life
Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so sorry for the hardships you've gone through but hearing what you've been through and how you've come out on the other side gives me a lot of confidence with my own struggles so thank you for that!
I’m not intersex so I can imagine all the shit she went through but as someone who’s trans, the medical community treats us like garbage. I consider myself lucky to have been able to get HRT. Granted that was only after getting denied, so I went to an informed consent clinic. I can’t imagine having to treat yourself! Just trying to understand my own treatment is a lot for me and I have people to explain things. It’s incredibly fucked up how people can so easily disregard a person’s humanity and make them into an unwilling lab rat. Just… thank you for sharing!
A lot of this hit hard and I’m not intesex, but I am trans, I’m usually pretty good at managing my dysphoria but its coming back with a vengeance recently and I’ve kind of fallen back into the depressive state again, I’m not suicidal though, still it hurts. My mother thinks I’m trans because of the internet, truth is that is not the case, though I’ve had depression since I was in elementary school and always kinda felt different from the other boys in my class but never knew why but I wanted to please people so I wanted to be more of a boy and all of that, but I couldnt and while now I’ve been able to fall into more masculine roles as a person I’m still trans, came to me in my teens and since then after realizing it its been quite the ride, normally dont talk much about it but the vid kind of made me want to at least a little bit.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🥺 I hope you can talk about it with more people and feel safe enough to open up. I'm struggling with another dysphoria and depression wave myself rn Please don't be afraid to reach out and try connecting to new people and see if they'll accept you for who you really are 🥺 there are people out there. And I'm sure you're a beautiful person worth talking to, even if you don't see it yet. I hope the best for you 🧡
@@jaggedjaws1586 oh don’t worry, I have people in my life who I enjoy their company and enjoy mine, and I’ve definitely been making sure to work through harder parts of my life too, I’ve even struggled with the question of “Am I really trans” which plagued my mind a lot over the years, I’d say I’m more confident in myself than I have ever been and hopefully more humble too, I’ve definitely been wanting to be more humble
@@jaggedjaws1586 oh sorry I was being rude, I hope things do improve for you, sometimes I’m bad with social graces and forget to also mention the stuff with others
When I was 6, I had a friend from school who had brain cancer. Hospitalized in September, died the end of that year. Unrelated to that event, I'm not really in a good place right now. A couple of weeks ago my friends mother (we have minimal contact) emailed my folks and asked if I wanted to say a few words for the fundraiser she would be doing later. I just... didn't know what to say. At all. My mind was a blank void. And we had a mutual friend from kindergarted, first grade. I'm still friends with him I didn't think to call my friend to make sure he got the email or he knew about it. That's how fucked up I am right now. Anyway Great video! I spent like, hours today binging your content.
While i'm not intersex, its amazing what I learned today. I already knew the struggles intersex people go through and I wish things would get better. I am trans, though, and I recently started hormones and unfortunately its not happening as quickly as i want it to. I'm ftm, so my experiences are different from a trans woman, especially an intersex trans woman. I hope i can get a higher dose of testosterone eventually
As someone in the medical field, (not a doctor or a nurse but some bizarre thing that is trusted to be a primary provider but not trusted to administer tylenol), Doctors are some god damn idiots. I've had to help one do the basic math of mg per ml on my own prescription dosage. My own advice is to trust but verify. Wait until the initial panic subsides and start attacking the issues of why decisions are made. Patients with specific conditions are almost* ALWAYS more informed on their conditions than any general care provider. *exemptions for initial diagnosis window of a few months/ those that participate in willing ignorance.
To add on to the ending notes of this video, the most dangerous part of trans healthcare is the waiting lists, at least in the UK. Even when knowing you are going to get care, its still too much for some.
These stories are always equal parts empowering, and blood-boiling. Transgender and Intersex people truly are some of the most resilient individuals I've ever seen, and we can all learn from them. I can't imagine being shamed for who I am, or for having the audacity to say "I'm not what you want me to be. I'm me" Stronger people than I, that's for sure.
Yo I'm intersex and trans too! I'm XY afab, externally I look pretty much normal female, maybe slightly hairier with thicker but sparse body hair. A single ovoteste that calcified in my body and now just sits there, left side(too expensive to remove and it's harmless). My remaining overy is doughnut shaped and has nonviable "eggs", my body loves making testosterone but doesn't know how to really use it. I have a really bad imbalance of hormones, including terrible serotonin and dopamine deficiencies that make all my brain issues worse. My body basically doesn't know when to stop making neutrophils, so even when I'm not sick my white blood cell count is absurdly high, have issues recognizing hunger and I get migraines that basically blind me. Body also built my bones exceptionally thick with teeny tiny thornlike protrusions that wear down my cartlidge faster. The human body is weird as hell. I don't know if I will ever be able to go through hormone therapy, one because my body may not respond to it, and two it might fuck me up worse. Thank you for sharing!!!
Honestly, I feel so disappointed that doctors won't tell patients that they're intersex out of fear that they may hurt themselves (I also believe part of it is due to prejudice and just not wanting to accept that intersex exists). It is very difficult to communicate such news, but it's a part of the job. We (medical professionals) are taught how to do so and how to comfort our patients. Even more so, we have resources to give to our patients to help them process such information. But withholding health information from the patient? Making that decision for them?? I can't wrap my head around it. This is information that the patient has a right to know, ESPECIALLY, when it will affect them their entire lives. I hope that as the years go by, we will be able to have more open-minded, patient, kind, and ethically moral doctors.
I just want to say that this was an amazing video to watch. I had never even known that being intersex existed and I have a bi-gender twin sister and her bf is trans and now that I know all of this information I feel like I understand the situations with anything that has to do with gender, even if it's not intersex. You learn something new everyday
There's definitely a lot more to learn. This video IS great don't get me wrong. But it's still only one person's perspective. Some others i would recommend on TH-cam are Ash Hardell, echoisweird, Evie Lupine, Chris Stuckmann, Philosophy Tube, Contra Points, Kat Blaque, Dimitria Sparrow, Jammidodger.
as a trans person i really liked this story, i was able to connect with allot of thing and the part at the end for advice for trans people is just amazing and made me soo happy
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you all for listening and supporting!!! Hopefully there are more stories to come from me.
You’re a very interesting person with a harrowing story. I wish you luck in everything you do from here on out
We need a TH-cam doctor like doctor Mike or someone like him to make a videos interview with you to help destroy this issue with intersex erasure and other issues like it.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
@@HexJayBun I would love to participate in that
I have some mad fucking respect for you after listening to you
An aquaintance of mine is also intersex, the doctors did surgery to her without conscent of the parents, they told the parents "bladder problems"
Imagine being mutilated in childhood and you dont even have the correct paperwork to prove it. It's basically institutional gaslighting.
That should be so extremely illegal. It's insane.
I'm calling BS on that. Laws about informed concent are very strick in the United States. Very very few doctors are willing to through away there license away like that. What kinda of surgery did they have, because if it's true and informed concent wasn't given you could easily lawyer up and win big.
@@sambo669 Ahh 'Murica
@@JakubKas It's not unique to America by a long shot. If so the intersex demographics from other countries would reflect that.
also btw its consent not conscent
42:17 Bruh she LITERALLY had to self diagnose. That is an insane amount of work for someone to have to do all because no doctors would help her. Minus the one place that actually did help her. What a story dude. I hope more intersex people come out and share their stories too.
Considering that about 1.7% of people in the US have her condition, if not less if you start getting into the exact specifics of her case (1.7% just refers to the blanket biological intersex condition, her case is likely much lower), it's not something that a doctor could really expect to see in their lifetime. Doctors may learn about the various conditions in medical school, but unless it's something they specifically specialize in, you can't really expect them to know what's going on. It's not that the doctors wouldn't help her, but rather they were dealing with something that they may have only read about in passing in medical school, or had a lecture on; but had never actually seen in their practice. She notes that it's rare enough that unless the doctor was an endocrinologist (which is a glandular specialist), they wouldn't know what they were looking at to begin with.
@@KibuFox true, but most of them flat out lied when there was physical proof.
@@KibuFox There are nearly the same amount of intersex people as people with red hair
@@KibuFox See the funny thing is about that whole "doctors may learn about various conditions but they won't know unless they're specialized", that's why my condition (EDS) is symbolized with zebra stripes. There's a saying in med school that is "if you hear hoofbeats, don't expect a zebra". But here's the thing that makes the whole thing fall apart. My condition might be more common then how it is portrayed. It's just doctors, even specialized doctors, misdiagnose it as something else. Hell I had to get a blood test for my EDS diagnosis.
@@KibuFox 1.7% is fully something that a doctor could expect to see in their lifetime. Especially because it's not "1.7% of people will get [thing], it's 1.7% of people have [thing], and will always have [thing]."
for reference, 0.0592% of the UK population died of covid. 1.7% is fucking massive.
She had to face discrimination at home, church, school, and medical facilities, even Planned Parenthood, just to be able to say, "this is what I am!" Self conviction is a thing I give my respects to. She should be proud of herself for being able to stand up and fight for what she believes in, and bringing to light the unconventional nature of what individuals such as herself have to deal with on a daily basis.
It's really fucked up how people are actually lied to by thier doctors. So infuriating.
I can just hope that our generation and younger doctors will do better and people like her don't have to go through shit like this.
Kinda hope that as more kids are brought up to accept more things, the less people with awful mindsets will be present… It’s disappointing to know that that probably won’t happen in my lifetime though, if at all
@@evewhoo I mean...
a lot kids in Europe (highschool and further in education) have right mindsets and want to do that but they need to gain the majority of votes for elections because of many old people being selfish senile pricks voting for their own comfort and outnumbering younger people with votes for now but in 2-3 decades it will likely be fixed
@@evewhoo many of them still can't vote or are too scared to vote but once they get a little push for help and support then it will cause Domino effect as they often help eachother nowadays and there aren't as many situations of bullying anymore because other kids stand up for eachother
@@TheRealNiktWazny No, those old senile people thought the same things when they were young. The young of today will inevitably be the elderly pricks of the future.
That and with the rise of far left extremists painting all of their detractors as far right and LiTerAlLy nAzIs it is also possible they swing the pendulum to the other extreme ruining what little progress has been made since the early 2010s. I despise both sides but if I had to pick one it definitely wouldn't be the side that's pro sexualizing minors.
here, in Ukraine and other post-soviet countries, doctors won't only tell you the truth, they will often recommend the most redical treatment there is. For example, in the West, people with silent gallstones are not sent for the surgery since the chance of them getting symptomatic is very low (1% a year), here they usually recommend a surgery right away (ofc except the cases when doctors studied abroad or read a lot of western literature), in the west, acute apendicitis is sometimes being treated with antibiotics so a bit more than a half of the patients will never have an appendectomy and all the stress that comes with the surgery. Here, the antibiotical treatment of that is not even a thing, only surgery, which is still very safe, but at least trying antibiotics would've saved a lot of people from mental stress
I respect the fuck out of this woman, because I would fold like a chair. Having to work so hard with the whole of existence basically gaslighting her? Fucking incredible, and disheartening that she had to do her own medical stuff. 'Tooth and Nail' is this entire story.. Thanks for sharing!
This had some similarities with Evie's story, which was also very interesting because doctors just didn't want to accept that fact that she was clearly intersex. Intersex seems like a condition to which doctor's don't want to admit to. I feel so bad for people with an intersex condition, and I hope this becomes more accepted by doctors (did I just have to say that I hope a condition gets accepted by medical staff?)
We make them listen with force then.
I think its more of the conservative old doctors fault and people's way of thinking that older means wiser which well is proven wrong
@@electrifiedbathbomb7383 Yeah, sadly
@@cykes5124 it’s a joke but i see how it could be taken seriously. Sorry for making you seethe with anger. Also respect on the research.
@@cykes5124 I’ve been trying just my humor is more broken than the American healthcare system
She would make a great doctor/ advocate for intersex patients. Going as far as learning medical stuff to do research on your own body is something a future prodigy doctor would do. Also investigating to find your biological parents would make you a good investigator too! You would think doctors would have all the answers and can separate themselves from their obsessions and biases but sadly that isn't true.
Bro, this woman is literally a main character. She literally bought medical equipment and learned how to use it on her own and looked at her own cells and then tracked down her parents by looking at names of ppl in the entire US.
Absolute gigachad behaviour
@@Bonkezz EXACTLY
@@Bonkezz gigachad and protagonist definitely describe her. She inspires me to be better, to finish anything I put my mind to.
@@Bonkezz got the sigma grindset
Has she though of going into private investigation? Or medical school? Or other medical/science studies?
Good lord.
She is her own hero, and an inspiration to many people.
I went to college for mechanical engineering and microbiology with the intent to go to johns hopkins for medical school. Unfortunately the brain surgery and covid right after ruined that.
@@blob-hp1oe well, wherever your path leads from here, I wish you the best.
@@blob-hp1oe you would make an amazing doctor
Doctors: "You need several notes from us and years of healthcare with us before we even consider letting you transition. We don't want to do unnecessary surgery when it's not right for you."
Also Doctors: "Lol this 5 minute-old baby looks weird lets perform surgery to make them normal."
Sometimes the Medical Scientific community can be beyond pig headed, and much love to @54653blob for sticking up for herself and getting the care she needed.
Personally I'm intactivist... I believe all non-medically necessary surgeries should be illegal for children, and 'not normal' should not automatically count as a medical emergency. I don't support medically transitioning children, but I also don't support 'fixing' intersex children or doing purely cosmetic alterations like circumcisions. Children can not consent and should be kept whole so that they can decide what is best for themselves as young adults.
@@ANPC-pi9vu I mostly agree, though puberty blockers are totally worth it for the number of suicides they prevent, if we think a kid can't consent to cosmetic surgery then who boy can they not consent to jumping off a bridge. But also there are a lot of *""not medically necessary""* surgeries that are very necessary to the quality of life of children, things like knee surgery, limb extension for people with dwarfism, and other bits of stuff like removal of skin growths and other things.
Lets not forget they routinely circumcise males at birth based on faulty and ancient practices and dubious medical science. This is completely normalized. Children are basically slaves.
@@atashgallagher5139 Personally if we say we want "kids to be intact" I think puberty blockers is the only real way to do that. Letting a child go through puberty, whether a trans or cis puberty, is changing their body in ways they may not want. If you have any doubts about what they may want, giving them extra time to make sure before they undergo irreversible change is the most humane way to do it.
Overall though, any conversation about what's "too much" transitioning for kids is unrealistic, because we're not dealing with a world of overly-transitioning youth. We're in a world that forces children to _not_ transition, or judges them harshly if they do. When we get to the point where kids can freely transition and the regret rate is even over 0.5%, I'd consider it, but right now if people are more concerned about a kid transitioning too early they're missing mountains and obsessing over molehills.
Sometimes, but very rarely, intersex people or animals can end up dying... which is why they do that, but its not justified to cut off a working organ!
Doctors drive me up the wall man I swear. I'm trans and disabled and Im only 2 years younger than this girl. I too walk with a cane because I have osteoarthritis that was caused by a STILL UNKNOWN CONDITION. It took medical professionals 10 YEARS of in and out visits, MRIs, XRAYS, bloodtests etc to actually believe that I had been suffering for so long. This still unknown condition has crippled me since I was 10 years old and by the time Im around 25-30 there is a high chance I wont really be able to walk anymore. Im on a waiting list for a specialist (FINALLY) and for some stupid reason, they have labeled my case as not an urgency. The waiting time is looking to be around a year if Im lucky. This makes me so mad because not even my parents have to wait that long for anything like that and they have better movement than I do. And in terms of hormone stuff, so far have been waiting about 8 months or so and keep being denied because every time they test my blood they find the slightest anomaly (that is NEVER an actual concern because they tell me so) and have to keep retesting. so far I've had 6 or so and my 7th will be next month. And they are also denying me because my depression/anxiety levels are too high when 90% of the time Im depressed because Im NOT on T yet. Im not intersex as far as I know, but hearing that stuff about doctors not telling you anything and actively denying intersex conditions just makes me so mad. Hopefully the younger generation of doctors come through soon and the old ones retire. Sorry I know this is a long post, hearing all this stuff just makes me so mad with the medical system haha
In your case you should look into medical tourism. You might be able to see someone way sooner and at lower cost in a developing country where your money will go farther and there are hospitals built with medical tourists in mind, so usually language services available. In the First World there's an aging population of the baby boomer population with declining birth rates after the baby boom ended leading to a shortage of young people going into the medical field. Some types of specialists are too scarce to meet demands and of course the asshole boomers hog it all for themselves.
You should strongly consider looking into hormone treatment. I'm 17 and have been hobbling around with a cane since I was 14 and it took years to get a doctor to actually do the goddamned blood test because they were worried it would come back positive for a deficiency and that it still wouldn't be my problem and even if it did they wouldn't treat it.
I have the blood tests scheduled for three and a half hours from now and a doctor that uses medicine in their medicine and I cannot believe I'm going to be able to walk again and exercise and all of that stuff.
I'm getting put on growth hormone, IGF-1, and possibly Testosterone.
Same, screw those assholes doctors adn waiting times.
My mom went through something similar, she’s not trans or anything but she had hard time getting doctors to believe she has a condition (right now it’s fibromyalgia, which might be arthritis in the future) and it took her so long to finally get a doctor to get a look at her and believe her once and for y’all that she did, in fact, had a condition.
It sucks honestly, the entire medical system sucks major ass and it’s horrible the amount of pain my mom has been through-
@@atashgallagher5139 If a doctor was refusing you simple blood tests, report them for malpractice to the board and also leave them negative reviews on any platforms for finding doctors so that other people know to avoid them. They aren't doing the bare minimum of their job which is testing and giving referrals to see the correct specialists for possible problems. That is insane.
The way she became more of a doctor than the doctors she tried to get help and answers from. Without a degree obviously. Like what the actual hell
Also, I honestly admire how hard she fought and worked to get the answers and results she wanted for her own body and to find her biological parents because I’ve heard how freaking hard that is, and I know finding my own would take years of almost fruitless searching. Mad respect for her. Truly
As a trans person myself this video was really interesting to watch and those last minutes were really important, thanks to the girl in the video and to you Azeal to give her a place to talk about her story ❤❤.
Looking at her own DNA? Doing her own colonoscopy? Damn she's a badass
Huge respect for how she refused to just accept a shitty situation and worked and researched to find answers and change it. Doing all that research ain't easy. (Of course, she shouldn't have to be in this situation in the first place with how often the doctors lied and dismissed her conditions)
I love the age of information, I'm so glad there's resources online for intersex people like that. And by god, she's a genius! I couldn't do anything like what she's done for herself. All the research, all the time spent. So determined, truly an inspiring woman! I'm very glad you shared this with all of us.
This is why I’m becoming a doctor, some others won’t believe something because it’s “a rare condition”.
@@cykes5124 Or "i never heard about this, therefore you're making it up"
Good luck with that 😂 probably every doctor's dream that just ends up a primary care. Hopefully you're a 1/10000000000000000 but realism is key
my favorite parts of the video was when the bully said "oh sorry" and completely left them alone, and when their uncle said "how's my neice doing?" it really warmed my heart :)
Doctors: we really don't wanna tell you your a little weird because we don't know what you'll do
Also Doctors: yup, you have Terminal 7, you have 5 weeks to live, hav fun telling everyone that even though it might be a miss diagnosis.
Blood test doctor: "The tests came back, and you are a perfectly normal **flips coin - edge** **flips coin - edge** **flips coin - edge** **flips coin - edge** **tips coin** man."
X-ray doctor: "Perfectly normal male parts, perfectly normal female parts, and a nickle-sized tumor on the brain."
Death: "How tough is she? I give up."
Yeah this whole medical gaslighting could be turned into a Simpson episode
She's a wonderful person to talk to. I'm glad I got to meet her.
I can understand the doctors initially denying hormones with the chance on what it could do to the tumor but god that sucks. Everything involved in that just seems like a horror situation. I hope her life has gotten better.
The ending got me tearing up. It's terrible what young trans people have to deal with, while people are barely edjucated on it and barely anyone cares. As a trans person myself, I was also very depressed between ages 11 (or 12?) to early 14 because of all of the dysphoria, which I did not know how to put into words because I still barely knew anything about it. All I knew is that "I hated myself, the way I look, and the fact people put me with my AGABs." and I still do, but it has gotten much better thanks to my amazing best friend who is the reason I didn't have the courage to KMS during that time.
Ik...
I'm non-binary, and EVERYONE still assumes that I'm a girl immediately. Sometimes, they just forget that I'm non-binary.
GOD it is so infuriating.
Just a question, what made you realise you are trans at the age of 11 or 12?
Just curious.
@@DsiPro1000 I honestly have no idea, but I'm guessing it's because puberty started to hit me?
@@jupiter9064 so it is like "yeh i think im this now" over time or is it like
"fuck im the oppisite gender know" in like a snap moment
@@DsiPro1000 For each person it's different but in my experience it was more like signs that start to show over time, then the dots suddenly connected
I feel you about having to pay for stuff myself and also doing your own research. I had suspected my tinnitus was due to blood flow in my neck as I found on my mri and ct that the right and left internal jugular veins were compressed (even though it wasn't noted on the report). So I went to a vascular doctor and asked that they check my ijv's with ultrasound. They checked and said everything was fine. So I said, did you check the internal jugular veins like I asked? No, they said only the arteries. So, I said can you please check my internal jugular veins? And did another appointment. And the techs were panicked. They were scared and were going to refer me to the ER but the doctor said I'm fine. So then the results come a week later (the techs can't tell me what they see) and the doctor says I'm fine. I know I'm not fine. I go pay out-of-pocket myself and I get a ctv head and neck and they find I have no blood flow in my right ijv and a little in the left. So blood is barely draining from my brain. And 70% of people with this condition have tinnitus. So I find out a month after that on my original report, my ultrasound techs had written that I definitely have a problem and I need a CT. And the doctor had read that and told me I was fine. And I had multiple doctors also tell me that it doesn't matter if your ijv's are compressed. It does matter. Depending on how compressed, it cuts of blood flow from your brain. So obviously a problem. And multiple neurovascular surgeons agree with me. But it's a god damned nightmare to get tested and to question doctors and getting any doctors to be honest with me. Like god help anyone that doesn't have a run-of-the-mill condition. Hell I went to the ER last weekend because my mouth was so swollen and in pain that I couldn't eat. They had no idea what to do. Went to a nurse the next week and yeah it's a yeast infection. And guess where I got the yeast infection - from a doctor! I had an endoscopy and immediately after I got the yeast infection. And guess what the doctor said? I probably already had that. Oh yeah, I never had a yeast infection my whole life and suddenly after you doing stuff in my mouth I get one, but it's just a coincidence? Sure. Sure. And I've got a dozen more stories like this. I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. I know the dismay, the heart break. I know what it's like when everyone who is supposed to love you looks at you like you are crazy for persisting in proving doctors wrong. Also you are tough as hell, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for going into detail and saying everything you did. 🥺😢
I haven't started with going on my medical check up route yet because I'm trying to set things up mentally.
But I've had people doubt me and gaslight me so many times
So hearing just how much you get it and have had to fight it is really important to me 🥺😢
I hope you're okay and I wish you the best 🧡 Thank you again
So an interesting portion of their condition, Chimerism, is how it all works. The person is two people; while developing in the womb, one fetus absorbs another, and because their immune systems are functionally suppressed or nonexistent while developing, the two fetuses grow together into one individual, now with two strains of DNA. I've heard examples of Chimeras who live their entire lives with only some mild immune system problems - the two groups of DNA don't fight each other because they've always been together - but perhaps that's atypical. If I remember correctly, there's a point where the immune system of the one will finally turn on the other, but immunosuppressants help. When that point is, is different for each Chimera, but from what I've researched years ago, it does usually happen eventually.
Damn intersex medical earsure ! She almost DIED due to not having her hormonal imbalance diagnosed...
I _still_ don't understand why doctors lack so much curiosity about this subject, but I'm happy she told one of the main reasons for it, though that's such a dumb reason given the circumstances (like, wouldn't most patients self-diagnose all those symptoms ?!).
Also, Goddess that endrocrino was blind. She sees someone with a "male" dossier, a d... and _C-cups_ and says dead to their face "you don't look intersex". She should have her licence revoked, and same with that urologist. Wait scratch that (seeing 41:00), she was openly malicious and needs jail time, or at least indefinite revocation due to willingly breaking the Hippocratic Oath.
Also, holy f..k... the fact that the center for intersex disorders were kid mutilators is insane. They get _taxpayer money_ to _protect_ intersex people from those barbaric practices, and it all goes into financing those practices. This is so absurdly heinous and has to be stopped !
However, props to the family for ranging from dismissive to actually accepting. She got so lucky there even though a better one would've be more supportive, but she still dodged a lot of bullets there too. And _anti-props_ to Planned Parenthood for somehow being interphobic despite being trans allies ! They need to be told about the Struggle for Alterity and its universality.
dumbasses will even claim intersex is made up and woke culture, they are that ignorant, they are that unhinged.
The hatred and dismissal towards not everyone fitting their insanely narrow definitions of sex and gender feels like some sort of extremely specific cluster B personality disorder
50:05 "my dad is Lutheran"
Oh god. the chills i got from that...
Hope things keep getting better for you!
bro i think this helped me a lot. idk whats really goin on in me or in my head, but it helps me out to know that people with even stricter families can live in coexistence, and even love each other. i was really worried about that, and im feeling a lot more confident with this story. thank you.
I worked for a while in a tube feeding private medical practice and we had a male in his 70s that had to suddenly change treatment because they had abnormal bleeding after trying to connect the feeding tube. Apparently, the location the tube was placed pierced a hidden, fully formed uterus and then the patient had internal bleeding, as they started having periods. They were in such shock at the time and I really hope they are doing better now. Intersex is more common than you might think. Thank you for sharing you story.
Uhh, it's still pretty rare though, especially on a relative level, and one person you've met doesn't suddenly make it common.
@@Dice-Z actually, many people probably don’t know their are intersex because it’s only obvious in their chromosomes. Intersex is more than just people with abnormal reproductive biology
@@Dice-Z but doctors denying hard evidence to say you’re “normal”, performing surgeries lying that they are necessary when they actually are gender reassignment surgeries, all to say you aren’t intersex and brushing it off as rare ain’t it.
That contributes to restriction on finding real reflections of the number of intersex people that exist. Also causes harm to the patient.
@@Dice-Z 1.7% of people worldwide are intersex. 1-2% of all people worldwide are ginger haired. Just some perspective that we basically have the same amount of intersex people as we do red heads.
Like the others who replied to your comment, I also agree that it's not rare to be intersex.
There is SO much erasure, it's honestly depressing.
I also want to add, I hate how people are comfortable with things just because they think they're "normal"
Men being able to walk around at night relatively safely while women are literally risking their lives, or their bodies, (and people may even Blame them for being attacked) is considered normal.
Also, just because something may not be as common as something else, doesn't make it "abnormal," "weird," OR "unnatural" either.
I'm not really saying this for you specifically i just want to throw it out there for anyone to think about
I gotta be honest, this is one of my new favorite episodes, Azeal keeps on being amazing
🧡🧡
I've been trying to get on HRT for 2 years now, endlessly stuck on waiting lists and doctors that simply deny it. Maybe I should just start DIYing it because dysphoria is getting to a point where I have daily mental breakdowns, shaking and crying for hours at times
2 years?! Wow thats messed up. so far for me its been maybe 8 or so months or something like that. Idk how it works where you are, but in my country they wont give you hormones until after bloodtests are normal (they will keep retesting even if a slight anomaly is found. Ive had about 6 bloodtests so far and 7th will be next month) and when your depression and/or anxiety levels are low enough. The second part of that can be so stupid because majority of the time the other trans ppl from my country that I know r severely depressed BECAUSE they can't get hormones. One of my trans friends tried to take her life so many times in the time it took for her to get on E because she didn't yet have access to HRT. I am also considering going the DIY route because Im getting pretty desperate but I have no clue what I'd be doing haha. Anyways, stay strong my friend! I hope everything eventually comes through for you! ♥
@@BRAETONIXX it should normally only take about a year where I live. You have to go to a psychiatrist (usual waiting time about 6 months) and do a 6 month long therapie to get diagnosed. Once you get the diagnosis everything goes quite fast. The problem is that you have to find a therpist that actually does that diagnosis. I had to wait 7 months for the first one and he just said to me that he doesn't know how to do these therapies and that I have to search another one. That were 7 months waiting for nothing. Then for the next one I didn't have to wait as long (only 4 months) but for some reason I still don't know to this day, he fucking ghosted me after we had 3 sessions. And now I'm on the waiting list for the third one in the hope that I can finally start an unnaccesary therapie so that the medical system has a prove that I'm actually trans. The therapie itself consists of trying to convince you that you're not trans, so further mental torture ontop of everything.
and the most fucked up thing about everything. informed consent clinics are illegal regarding that topic in my country. So I can't even pay for the treatment myself.
Welcome to german burocracy
That is long could be an insurance problem. Although I thought it stood for the fbi hostage rescue team ( sorry r6 siege player here).
@@sorakoyo2673 Being questioned is uncomfortable but it's far from torture. It's to keep transtrenders and people who are confused from fucking up their body irrevocably.
In the end it's still only cosmetic surgery. If there is something deeply wrong with your mental health it won't work and will only cause you physical pain in return for a band-aid for your psychological pain.
@@KopitioBozynski, you're a bigot, and you know it. According to people like you, I'm a transtrender, but hrt and surgeries have been my lifesaver. I hope you wake up someday and realize to be a better person and support people even though you don't understand their pain. I used to think like you. It was the most miserable time of my life sincerely from a transmasculine non-binary Xenogender
that's living its best life two years on testosterone and not joking, almost 4 weeks post-op from hysterectomy and Top surgery.
I’ve only watched the first bit, because I’m currently at church, but what she’s saying about the LDS church is accurate. (I’m technically Mormon, I can’t leave until I’m 18)
It’s bad.
I go to 8 hours of church a week, which I don’t really see as normal. I hold 2 callings. I’m in charge of the youth for organizing events. I’m 17. It’s hard to leave. I’ve been put in charge of so so much.
Geez man, hope you can get out soon... :/
17, in charge of youth? You ARE YOUTH. I've heard you also got stereotypes when it comes to activities. Boys get the cool trips while girls barely leave the place and activities have to do with how to be a housewife, etc.
@@aaron-gz Yeah its pretty true unfortunately
My parents left after my dad got back from his mission. IF you want to keep in touch with family, theres this thing you can do which is sort of like Indefinat leave. You don't practice, but you don't technically leave the church, so people can still talk to you. Only problem is that missionaries will drop by every once in a while to try to get you to become practicing again. I don't remember much more but I could ask my parents more about it. Hope this helps in someway.
Hey I was the first assistant to my priest’s quorum too, if you want to talk to someone about it I’ve been in a very similar spot
Also, of that 1% of people who Detransition the number of people who detransitioned because it wasn't right for them less than 1% of that number. Most people who detransition do so due to social pressures, life issues, marital problems, et cetera. And it is quite common detransitioners re-transition later.
Needs to also be said that the study used in the UK to block trans healthcare for teens, didn't even have any trans people in it. Sudden Onset Gender Dysphoria is a condition not coined form study of trans people, but rather their confused narcissistic parents who have obviously poor relationships with their children.
This study has been used in Texas and the UK to block trans healthcare several times now. Also, there was 4600 new cases of trans teens starting trans related healthcare, and the GOP in the US spent 50 MILLION dollars to convince parents these kids represent some kind of evil agenda.
Needs also be said that trans healthcare has less regret than all other kinds of surgery. Funny enough, rhinoplasty (nose surgery) has a higher rate of regret than trans surgeries. Funny how trans regret only matters when it applies to healthcare conservatives and TERFs don't agree with.
these stories need to be more out there. Doctors pull this sort of bs way too often. I had a chronic illness that basically made it so i could barely exist or stay awake, and for four-five years of having a half-life, losing connections with everyone, all my friends and not being able to go out snd have fun through basically all of high school, and getting told 'he's doing it for attention" or 'to get out of school' or the worst one, 'it's all in his head'
if it's all in my head, if this thing in my head is ruining my life, FIX. MY. HEAD.
Turns out it wasn't in my head, but my spinal chord. Great. Took five years of going to every single type specislist in existence (even acupuncture and a few nutjobs who had EMF scanners which i never want to speak to again) in to figure out 'yeah, maybe your heart beating as hard as running a marathon from you simply standing up isn't normal'
also the alternative school i went to has it's entire system set pretty much built around fat, high blood pressure, and depressed people.
I was critically underweight, with a low blood pressure (made rediculously low because of the illness) and (fucking somehow, i have no idea how) not depressed or with anxiety (as in not unreasonable anxiety. i was anxious ofc). Maybe that has something to do with extreme adhd.
either way there was this 'how would you feel if you lowered your blood pressure and lost 30 lbs thing'
I was 6', under 100lbs, with very low blood pressure. I'm pretty sure 'dead' was a fair answer, but somehow I still had to explain that to the schoom that no, that was not a suicide threat, the reason I am in this alternative school in the first place was that I was very underweight with super low blood-pressure, magnified by a pots dysautonomia (the illness).
If you're feeling really, really shit at anywhere in puberty age, to the point where it's debilitating, google pots dysautonomia. Please.
And EDS as well. POTS is a comorbity of EDS.
Also research gastroporesis and MCAS.
I'm not the best wordsmith, so I'll just say: thank you for telling us your story!
I'm also very glad to hear things are starting to go in a better direction for intersex people (in terms of medical professionals having to acknowledge that they exist).
This person has had the worst childhood/teenage-hood simply because people have been denying her being... Nonetheless she has been fighting with all her power to proof that she is who she is. Hopefully she'll be able to live her life happily. Stay strong!
Bro wtf she's like absurdly smart. From self diagnosis to tracking down her family is so crazy!!
as a trans girl who is yet to receive hrt cause my dad is super transphobic and homophobic, this gives me so much hope about developing a body that doesn’t make me dysphoric and dysmorphic and it she gives me so much inspiration :D
I hope you can get on hrt in the near future! It's your idiot father's loss to miss out on having wonderful daughter. Go and thrive living your own life the way you want to. You can drop off nasty people out of your life (if you're an adult I mean. If you're underage, then you might maybe try to find a relative who's supportive of you and live with them until adulthood, if you can.) Remember to be careful too, there's really horrible people out there too. Wishing you the best! ✨
@@Sgtvalentini and you should get one
I hope you succeed in this, good luck through your life ^^
@@Sgtvalentini yeah you have a good point
Sorry for being rude to you
@@Sgtvalentini its no problem :]
I am a preteen trans man and it was really hard growing up in Texas and being trans, I hated being called “daughter, sister, beautiful, sweetheart, mija, Mattea(what my mom calls me sometimes, she calls my brother Matteo meaning it’s clearly gendered name)” I came out as trans 2 years ago I think, I’ve had these thoughts since I was 6. I surround myself with many people who support or are like me and are trans and gay, heck my first lover was gay and I didn’t even know till I obviously dated them. (we’re not together anymore I just wanted to mention that) I wish I had access to safe hormones and a transition therapist because in Texas trans kids are being taken away from their parents, I’ve heard many have killed themselves because of Texas’ harsh views and laws on Lgbtq kids. My parents said they will move out of this state if it gets worse for me and I’m glad they will do that, however my mom, she is a doctor and she knows about everything. Binders, hormones, etc but she doesn’t consider how it will help me if I take it. Testosterone is reversible, binders aren’t permanent, I’ve done research and found ways to not hurt myself if I have a binder but she still won’t consider it. The suicidal rate for trans kids is high, I know that, and I’m on of those kids too. I’m struggling to accept myself but I can’t accept myself if people can’t accept me first.
This sounds really tough 🥺 I'm sorry you're in a really bad environment. I hope you can move out as Soon as you're legally allowed to, I'd guess 18. Tbh if they're already doing horrible things like kidnapping trans people in texas that should be reason enough for your parents to move. Your life is just more at risk there.
I would honestly tell your parents that. Because people can be really cruel.
I live in Pennsylvania, and I'm very obviously androgynous (I'm nonbinary)
I have gotten a lot of comments on my appearance since i realized i was NB, but i still got hired at a job by a boss who's accepting of me being not strictly cishetmono, AND being disabled.
Sadly I gotta find a new job
But there's hope in some places.
I'm glad your parents aren't super hostile or denying of you at least. I really hope things go well for you 🧡
One thing that kinda helps my dysphoria that i actually just now realized, is instead of hugging something (person, stuffed animal, whatever) or Imagining hugging, I sorta zoom in and just focus on like, my head being wrapped up (in someone's arms, or blankets, or touching my forehead to someone's, real or imagined)
I think this is a useful idea for people who have dysphoria with their chest, which hugging usually involves lol.
Dunno if this is helpful but i hope so 🤘
I wish you the best 🧡
One of the strongest and wisest people I've ever heard, and a powerful story about fighting for a comfortable, happy life even through all the adversities you've faced. I hope you can live a fulfilling life and things keep getting better for you!
Former LDS Missionary here, served in a tricky part of Chicago. Can confirm, no weapons allowed. I did get training on how to deal with muggers, but it generally boiled down to give up your valuables, and report ASAP. Safety check ins happened twice a day, too.
I just can't comprehend why some people find it so hard to understand that not all humans are the same. It's such a simple thing and yet they don't get that.
I never experienced anything absolutely terrible, but I do have my own little bit of input on this. I am genderfluid, so I don't really identify as either gender. Growing up I was told I'm a girl, and I was just like "ok then" until I entered around middle school. In middle school I started to feel a little off. I couldn't really relate to "girl things" that much, so I thought maybe I feel more like a boy. I tried acting a little more masculine(according to stereotypes), for example walking like my dad, being a little more sporty, and trying to lift heavy things (failed miserably). For unrelated reasons however, I got really depressed throughout 8th grade and the summer afterwards. Then come highschool, I decided to stop acting like that, and just acted more like I naturally would. I took a philosophy class in 9th grade, which really sparked a new thinking process for me. I started looking at things with deeper thoughts, and it was also around that time I really afirmed that I am an atheist. Then later on, there was what is called a "spirit week" that happens sometimes at my school. One of the days was basically crossdressing. I was pretty excited for this at first, but then when I thought about how I was going to dress, I felt this sharp pain in my heart (mental). I had no idea what I was feeling, but all I could tell was just that it hurt so badly. The pain only subsided when I admittedly, hurt myself (not enough to draw excessive amounts of blood). The next day, I didn't change my usual outfit at all, and just went to school wearing my normal uniform. Then finally, in later years, I learned more about the genders, and realized genderfluid fit me the most. I felt really repulsed whenever I was referred to as a girl, but I also didn't really feel like a boy either. I realized later on that this was the very reason why I felt so in pain for that spirit week day, basically because it felt like I was denying who I am and admitting I am one or the other gender. And then came the time where I wanted to come out to my parents. With my mom, it went very smoothly. She was a little bit confused at first, but was very accepting of me (albeit she still calls me a she, I can't really blame her since it does feel awkward to refer to me as they all of a sudden). My dad however, he denied it completely. He's someone who is more stubborn than a mule. When he decides something is so, he will not let up. Especially when it comes to this type of thing. But at least I'm lucky he doesn't decide to disown me. The thing he said that made me feel the worst, however, was "I love you anyway." Keyword, "anyway." Basically, he sees me "deluding myself to believe I am genderfluid due to the misleading internet" to be a flaw. Let me tell you, I wouldn't have harmed myself in literal agony at my own identity if my feelings weren't true. I know I do sound like I am complaining, but really, I am soooo grateful by how lucky I was. My mom doesn't treat me any differently, my dad completely wiped from his memory that I came out (i guess its better than him degrading me?), and I live a relatively stable life. For those of you who are legit struggling, I want you to know that you are valid, and should never just give up on living the way you want to. It may be tough, but I think it may be even tougher on you in the long run if you deny your own feelings. Please don't give up.
Thank you 🥺🧡🧡🧡
You are Not complaining. Everything you feel, including your pain, is completely valid.
I suppose it is better if your father just ignores you rather than directly oppose you violently, but i would definitely not stay near him whenever you get the chance to get away.
Even if someone is in passive opposition or denial, they're still othering you and hurting you.
You deserve Way better than that.
At some point your father should Want to question himself. He may not do that, but that's what a parent Should do.
I think your mom having difficulty Starting is completely understandable. But over time she should definitely make an effort to change. Just because something is easy to keep doing doesn't mean it's right.
I feel you so hardcore on so much of this.
Including on suddenly feeling a sharp emotional pain and not realizing what it is until later
I get that pretty often actually (to varying degrees with all the parts that make up the experience) because I struggle with dissociation.
I also feel you on the painful simple yet important wording.
I have two trauma inducing memories like that that immediately jump to mind.
Chronologically,
I had to move away all of a sudden from my parents house when i realized just how much time i was stuck being oppressed and just.. Not Dying (croods reference)
When i blocked my father he said something like that but not as similar. But it was a lie because love is mutual and he can't love me if he can't accept me and actually love Me, instead of his Idea of me.
The other time was with my brother.
He basically said the same thing your dad said, "i love you anyway" but more like "i still see you as the same person even if you change so it doesn't matter to me"
I'm dead tired now so kinda just dipping, might come back later. But thanks for saying what you did 🧡🧡🧡
@@jaggedjaws1586 Thank you so much for the kind words.
I understand aspects of her experience because of having a genetic disorder that didn't show signs of existing until I was 15. When I started showing signs and my health suddenly took a massive turn for the worse no doctor could figure out what was going on. I am currently dealing with bone decay at 23 and I already have EDS so my shits a goddamn nightmare. I had to self diagnose the EDS until I was 18 and then I finally found a doctor who looked me over, listened to all my symptoms and went "Yeah you have EDS".
It's wild how often doctors will hear you say what you're symptoms are and they get very defensive or refuse to acknowledge the issue is outside of their expertise. I saw so many neurologists who thought my issues were in their wheelhouse, but the neurological and nerve pain issues i struggle with come from the EDS.
I can't necessarily relate to being intersex, but I'm a transman (FtM) so I understand a lot of that medical wheelhouse too.
I'm really glad she got to talk about all of this and tell her story! It's nice to hear someones story, especially one that might never have been spread otherwise.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with your comment 🥺
I don't know if you're interested but I read this autobiographical memoir by someone who's also a trans man, and I just figured I'd recommend it to you cuz of that
Could be interesting for you, or something you could like, pass on to someone as a piece of content worth referencing
Also because I liked it and I had some big things in common with some of the authors experience
It's called A Year Without A Name by Cyrus Dunham 🧡
its so refreshing to finally see other intersex people get their stories out
i was there for the stream, this was amazing, thank you this was really helpful, i had never heard of intersex people before, and this taught me o much, thank you
Omg i can't believe how many difficulties life can throw at just one person. I'm happy it's better now
that ending made me cry. this was such a emotionally moving story, thank you for sharing with us. hopefully a lot of aspiring doctors watch this and decide to do better than their elders. and hopefully, we as a society can just become better at believing people about their problems
And me over here unable to even get someone to see what kind of arthritis I have or what causes the 10- 40 lbs of swelling in my body(and that may be low because that only goes based on weight fluctuations at different times of day).
Took waaaaaay too much effort to even get an autoimmune disorder tested for let alone diagnosed and it was my mental health care CNA(I have c ptsd and in the past few years depression was recognized: that took longer because of my history and how the auto immune disorder is: I have yet to find someone who will help figure it out so untreated it plays absolute havoc and takes my thyroid for a wild ride), who also had stuff she had trouble getting medical doctors to help figure out, took one look at me and said ‘something is up’ asked a question, heard the answer, and ordered a test. Had to take the test to a doctor to confirm it meant what we knew it did and lo and behold… it did. Another doctor later confirmed(years after the fact and only when dealing with a life threatening complication) that I didn’t have other autoimmune disorders at this time. Nothing they could justify testing for anyway.
I’ve even had a doctor try to justify over treating it to try to induce weight loss, without consulting or even telling me(did not work btw because I didn’t eat myself this way and something is clearly wrong but who’s going to listen to me even though my history points to there being multiple things that could cause specific issues nobody tested for that would explain a lot).
And as far as I know I’m not intersex. If I was though, I’d feel robbed. I decided not to transition because my current relationships but also because it wouldn’t be enough for me considering I’ve wondered for a long time(some of my health issues and even the type of hip displatia I had before radiation destroyed those joints entirely so you can’t even see enough left to tell anything but that I don’t have them anymore, was the kind boys normally get). I would not surprise me but it would appall me. Mind it also wouldn’t surprise me if I wasn’t intersex. At some point there is so many odd things with your health being told something isn’t the answer or having doctors who don’t check anything and the lack of resources to check becomes something you become kinda desensitized to answers one way or another because you kinda have to in order to maintain sanity.
A doctor who lies to me once is a doctor I leave because I have dealt with that before and my healthcare was even negatively effected because I didn’t know something important. Fuck doctors who decide lying and sneaking or using people as Guinea pigs is okay. Fuck em.
I wonder how many people are intersex but don’t know it and end up gaslit and called mental cases for feeling as they feel and just never know. I wonder how many trans or non-binary people were born intersex and just never know.
For reference I just use female pronouns for simplicity’s sake and because It’s too exhausting to make social interactions more complicated. I am already intensely socially anxious.
Note: My mental health providers were not at any point aware I had any issue with my physical gender beyond a long ass time ago when I was told it was because I’d been sexually assaulted. While I’ve got my issues from that it existed before and persisted long after. I’ve avoided since then because it’s not anything I go to them to deal with and I’d prefer not to talk about it with providers and I feel like we don’t tell people enough that you can opt to leave it out if you feel like you’ll be pressured one way or another about it or just don’t want to deal with whatever perceptions people have about it or have the ‘what do you prefer to be called’ or being told ‘you are just confused’ etc. I decided it wasn’t worth dealing with. Unlike my cptsd it doesn’t negatively effect my life. I came to terms with the body I was born in, even if I will never be happy with it, a very long time ago. At some point it’s okay to decide what is and is not worth what efforts and what you have the energy to deal with.
I could never deal with that many specialists at once, considering my history involved medical abuse, both with and without outside prompting, being raised by someone who was clearly making me sick and making crap up to get me treated for(which fucked my body up in all sorts of ways just by itself), and all many of things… it’s already a lot to go to a doctor, especially new ones but in general, in the first place. I have a rule of thumb. If they give me the runaround a certain number of times I stop engaging with them. Like this one I had last year who refused to deal with the testing I could have after the test they preferred caused me serious side effects in the first place and made me horrendously sick. Normally it would be fine but some people are not fine and I am just one of those people. They refused to acknowledge it and tried to set me up to have that test anyway, which I refused. Then refused to discuss it or have an appointment to discuss it until I got the test but then required seeing them for an appointment to get a different test instead, but then required I go get the test that walked back function of my kidneys among other things and side effects while I’d been dealing with a kidney injury btw and most def could not afford that side effect, and it just kept going in circles so I gave up and just stopped engaging. Nothing got done but then nothing was getting done while they pulled that repetitive ‘wear you down’ bullshit. Too many do that.
My thing is at some point you just have nothing left to spare to deal with even one more helping of bullshit or just stuff to deal with period, so you decide what to trim or just not deal with in the first place. Deciding what matters most for one’s own wellbeing is rather a personal decision no one else should be making but you. It’s a necessary skill.
I can’t even get that stuff handled though but she is over here spending a fortune to do her own lab work and even perform her own tests herself. I don’t have the money nor the mental energy to spare. I operate in a deficiency in both areas as it is. Props to her. Very proud of her.
There is no middle ground here. No peace of mind, no moments of respite, this woman just hops from the unluckiest circumstances to the greatest of lucky breaks, only to be struck by more unlucky circumstances.
That 2nd mass sounds like an aneurysm. Or given her chimerism, a serious risk of autoimmune complications. I hope she and her doctors keep an eye on it.
I'm mtf trans pre transition. I've only really just begun to deal with this but hearing this kind of story feels like I'm breathing fresh air for the first time in a long while in a time when I feel like I can't imagine the future or how wonderful it would feel to be look like a woman anymore. This story was so relatable. It's been really hard to live with this and even though I'd known in some way since I was 12 I wasn't able to admit it to myself until I was 20 and I wasn't able to come out to anyone until this year. My brother and sister were accepting of it, but when I first tried coming out to my mom I wussed out and told her I was gay instead and she took it horribly and told me that I ruin everything, so I just don't bother talking with her about it and she pretends like it never happened and continues to live in a fantasy world where I'm her perfect handsome son who'll bring home a pretty girl someday. Hearing this kind of story gives me hope for the future. And DAMN! Growing triple Ds in a MONTH!? What a fucking dream
Also really useful to know the kinds of problems I might have to deal with someday
@@luifernando4002 there are certainly a lot of problems and erasure in the medical field when it comes to trans people, but there are so many positives to transitioning. I'm still a teen but I am on T, the medical side of things was a true nightmare but once it was over it got so much better. I believe in you, and you deserve to be happy and yourself. If your mother doesn't respect who you are, then you don't owe her anything. Be yourself!
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother not accepting you :( I had to move away from my parents. They were so oppressive that I barely had room to think. I spent so much time escaping out of necessity, that after i moved out and my emotions started opening up, i realized i was queer/nombinary-trans in some ways.
I don't know what the legal age for being able to move out is where you are, but definitely look it up, and do all you can to accrue savings. Moving out as soon as you are able is really important for your safety and mental health. If you still like your mom you can just keep her phone number or Facebook or something. But if someone's at that level of denial, it's not a good idea to live with them.
I've sorta made it to the other side in that regard so i can tell you that it's definitely worth it
I also recommend making as many connections as possible. Including online acquaintances- and make sure you can hear their voice so you know they're genuine. You deserve to find people who are safe for you to be around. And you can do it. 🧡
I think "saccade" is the name for the eye movements.
Its so frustrating to have to go to 8 different specialists, and then they don't necessarily talk to one another.
I am so happy that this video is out! i'm intersex and i've been quiet about it, but this inspired me.
it makes me mad doctors deny testing and treatment
It baffles me how often doctors and medical practices will lie or purposefully ignore some medical conditions. Even IF there's some who fake it, even IF it looks to be unlikely, I don't understand why they would rather take the chance of ignoring someone who is in genuine need of help. I have a chronic condition that is pretty unnoticeable from the outside, and while luckily I have a nurse mom and have been fairly lucky with medical care, I have had some experiences with doctors dismissing it. Hopefully the attitude of medical fields in general will improve in the future and will be more open-minded.
Stories like this really make me want to have a job in the medical field where I can be the type of person who accepts you for who you are and tells you what conditions you have, even if they're rare. I want to be the type of person that doesn't do 4 different tests and lies that there was nothing wrong just to deny your condition.
I'm willing to bet a lot of doctors, generalists and nurses started out like this, but got so fed up with idiots and the ammount of bs they have to deal with and study that they stopped trying, got pessimistic and became the very thing they swore to destroy.
At the same time, complacency is an insidious killer, and it especially has NO PLACE in medicine or science. And don't get me started on the complete lack of empathy.
I swear you don't even know how angry it mades me when they said "I woke up and my adoptive dad said "are you still trans?"" your child literally has just fucking woke up from the most riskiest surgery ever and the first thing that comes to your mind is if they are still trans, not even how are you feeling, are you alive, are you safe and sound or I'm so happy you're still here?
jfc the depths those doctors went to, to do nothing at all.
and I thought the trouble I was having just trying to get a decent therapist or a doc that doesn't immediately fat shame was a nightmare. I can't imagine what the years and years of waiting and eventually getting screwed over by the people who's literal **jobs** it is to help people was like.
I love your videos, they really help to shine a light on the things others have to deal with that I as a straight white man does not have much insight on.
I've always been very liberal and accepting of others for who they are, but it is still really great getting to learn about what others have to deal with and it gives me the ability to emphasize better with their struggles. Thank you for doing these and please continue making them, they are an awesome resource.
🧡
I've been seeing the videos from you in my recommended section a lot lately and I never would have thought they were so informative.
Glad you clicked one, welcome! :)
Incredible story and guest, really influenced me a lot. This kind of stuff needs to be heard by as many people as possible.
I would heavily advise speaking to a lawyer skilled in malpractice law. If you don’t have at least a handful of viable cases I would be utterly surprised. Good luck in life ❤
I know that this condition is not fun to live with (especially with the medical erasure of intersex as a condition), but getting to say “I’m a chimera” is kind of badass. I hope that in the future intersex conditions just get more understanding and acceptance as a reality so these auto-immune issues are able to be more easily dealt with without having to jump through so many hoops. But I’m super proud of you for taking the initiative to get yourself the help you *need*.
As a non-binary person, i learned a lot about doctors and more into medical stuff just from this one video. Its pretty f^cked up on what these Doctors do. And currently now going into severe dysphoria since i’ve found out last year(that i was non-binary) its hard with these feelings and just this was a really huge help, I’d personally want to say thank you for this.
I'm new to learning that I'm nonbinary too 👏 going on 2 years for me soon
My heart goes out to you 🥺🧡🧡🧡
Loved this stream, her story is cool af.
agreed
This is very interesting and also heart wrenching to hear from from someone who is taking classes to be a medical profesional. I felt the anger, disbelief and icredulous and am thoroughly apalled by the actions of these professonals.
The whole video, I was thinking about how my genetics teacher had taught my class that gender isnt fluid its more nuance and gray. This was the first time I've beem told this by anyone who is not only older than me, but also an acredited source whos not only flunt in doing her own reasearch. She encourages us to do our own from ONLY peer reviwed sorces. When talking about medical/scientific subjects and how to understand that something like gender isnt black and white. I thought it seemed obvious, but the more she broke it down to the chromosome level. I learned in depth how your genitals don't equal your gender, how chromosomes can act any way they want and how your body can react to that in tandem... Above all, she encouraged us to be kind to each other and to always keep an open mind.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with these interactions and i hope things get better for the future for you
💝
Wow that technician must've been really surprised: 34:43
"Okay, that's your bladder, that's your prostate, and that's your uterus? what?"
probably one of the best fine ill do it myself stories really taught those doctors a lesson
A lot of people get arthritis when they are young. Some when very young. However, typically, very young to midteens, don't have anything quite like the hell you are going through. Hipdisplsia, has got to be yet another hell, of it's own. And you're still among us. I am properly impressed by your strength and resolve. I don't think I could have done that without failing, and falling apart. You are an awesome example for the world at large. Keep it up. You have more than proven you are worth great and deep respect.
A big part of what keeps my from ending it all is that the thought of being buried under my deadname and forever being remembered as a woman just deeply brings me discomfort, even though I wouldn't have to be around to see this.
speaking as a Holiness Christian Mormonism sounds so outrageous to me, I can't bring myself to respect a sect that has so little faith in their faithful that they would groom them that aggressively and I certainly cannot understand the ridiculousness of going to a third world country and asking the people you are trying to convince of your beliefs they should be the ones paying you 10% of their earnings.
and before the bible-burners lay into me please understand that holiness Christianity is the actual poorest kind (to the best of my knowledge), no political or monetary gain to be made from it, it's basically the religious equivalent of someone building a town library for people to gather at and learn if they so wish, except it's a church. (typically built and maintained by a community of Holiness Christians so their families can have an opportunity to learn about our faith and traditions, make prayer requests and seek some kind of human empathy from their fellow believers and participate in community events and just network and meet others in the community like them.)
I’m so sorry you had to go through all that to just figure yourself out honestly there needs to be more doctors who acknowledge that intersex people exist and thank you for bringing awareness to this also your the fma reference was great
I have a genetic condition called EDS. I've had so many similar experiences myself. In fact, we think my bipolar is actually an adrenaline issue, with the glands releasing more than they should be, mimicking Bipolar. It's been prohibitively expensive to get any real testing done, and I'm an anomaly, sometimes even in the EDS community. At least the doctor who wanted to study me asked first and was amazing and upfront the whole way and great to work with. My understanding is I'm actually in her textbook on EDS.
Great video Azeal. Thanks for giving Vixie a space to talk. I want to start by saying I'm from an Evangelic Christian home. My dad is a biologist, but teaches science in highschool and college.
We both saw some videos about intersex people around 5 months ago because I got curious, about the topic. It's very common for people to judge everyone just by looking at them, when in reality you should pay care and attention and learn what is going on with them.
It is incredible the little information you are given on ED class about this stuff, and even on books there really isn't anything if you don't search for it. I believe, people have the RIGHT to be diagnosed and treated correctly to help them and their bodies be in more harmony with gender affirming care. My dad was really sad hearing everything Vixie went through and sends much love to her, as do I. We hope she gets better and has a fulfilling life 💕
Thanks for sharing your story Vixie!
You are one of the strongest people I have ever heard of. Your story is absolutely incredible and inspiring, and your message to trans people at the end made me cry, it means so much. Hearing your story of medical abuse and refusal of care, then researching and getting the tools to figure it out yourself is incredible! I’m in a really rough place right now, as a trans person stuck in Florida, so hearing your story is immensely inspiring. Thank you
Still in the beginning of the video but I relate so much. I'm transmale and knew I didnt identify with my birth gender from a really young age. Probably 4 or 5, like the speaker. My earliest memory of me realizing was when I was once clothes shopping with my mom. I asked my mom if I could shop in the boys section, giving the reason "boys clothes are more comfortable" but that wasn't the full reason. Mainly, I felt like a boy and wanted to present myself as such. My mom sternly told me no, it hurt.
Couple years later, perhaps 10 at the most, I figured I was a tomboy, emphasis on "boy." At the time it was my word for "transgender" but I didnt yet know of that. I asked my friends if they thought I was a tomboy, they told me yes and it made me happy. Later I asked my mom, she said no and I cried.
I think the biggest realization, now that I'm older and understand what I was feeling, was when I was in 4th grade and learning about puberty. The boys and girls were separated and made to watch a video. I deadass did not pay attention because 1) I felt I was in the wrong room and 2) I thought I would somehow be a boy by the time any of that would happen. You can probably imagine my horror when I didnt magically become male.
I learned at 14 that I'm trans. I'm 19 now, still have yet to come out to my parents. I know they arent supportive though, so I'm waiting till I move out.
I started college last year and have slowly been telling people I go by he/him. It makes me extremely nervous, because I've had a number of bad experience, but also very happy.
Since I have yet to finish the video I'm not sure where the speaker is on her path, but I hope she's doing well and in a place where she's happy.
I'm so sorry you have to walk on eggshells all the time, especially with your own parents 🥺🥺 i hope you can move away from them safely, find people who accept you, and do what you have to do to be comfortable in your own body.
🧡🧡🧡
@@jaggedjaws1586 Thank you ❤
Today I learned that Cognito-Hazards are in fact an actual thing and not something just from the SCP wikis
yep lol
I’m glad she’s doing well and has such supportive friends and family. She had to deal with a body that caused her so much confusion and pain, had a brain tumor which caused her so much distress, and dealt with medical practitioners that kept lying to her and she shouldn’t have needed to go through that when all she wanted was to get an accurate report.
Gosh this is so fascinating and she's so incredibly informed. I'm really impressed! She could be her own provider. She's so young, too, she could be a really big advocate for intersex with that amount of intelligence.
Oh my god, if i had to go through this stuff i wouldn't know what to do. congrats on her though for sticking through with life and all the problems it gave her. In the end she's stronger than at the start of all that shit, if not physically but mentally.
I'm sorry to hear that she had to go through this shit in medicine but I was surprised how unique she is and it amazes me
I hope she's going to solve her health issues and live a happy life
Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so sorry for the hardships you've gone through but hearing what you've been through and how you've come out on the other side gives me a lot of confidence with my own struggles so thank you for that!
I’m not intersex so I can imagine all the shit she went through but as someone who’s trans, the medical community treats us like garbage. I consider myself lucky to have been able to get HRT. Granted that was only after getting denied, so I went to an informed consent clinic.
I can’t imagine having to treat yourself! Just trying to understand my own treatment is a lot for me and I have people to explain things.
It’s incredibly fucked up how people can so easily disregard a person’s humanity and make them into an unwilling lab rat.
Just… thank you for sharing!
A lot of this hit hard and I’m not intesex, but I am trans, I’m usually pretty good at managing my dysphoria but its coming back with a vengeance recently and I’ve kind of fallen back into the depressive state again, I’m not suicidal though, still it hurts. My mother thinks I’m trans because of the internet, truth is that is not the case, though I’ve had depression since I was in elementary school and always kinda felt different from the other boys in my class but never knew why but I wanted to please people so I wanted to be more of a boy and all of that, but I couldnt and while now I’ve been able to fall into more masculine roles as a person I’m still trans, came to me in my teens and since then after realizing it its been quite the ride, normally dont talk much about it but the vid kind of made me want to at least a little bit.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🥺
I hope you can talk about it with more people and feel safe enough to open up.
I'm struggling with another dysphoria and depression wave myself rn
Please don't be afraid to reach out and try connecting to new people and see if they'll accept you for who you really are 🥺 there are people out there. And I'm sure you're a beautiful person worth talking to, even if you don't see it yet.
I hope the best for you 🧡
@@jaggedjaws1586 oh don’t worry, I have people in my life who I enjoy their company and enjoy mine, and I’ve definitely been making sure to work through harder parts of my life too, I’ve even struggled with the question of “Am I really trans” which plagued my mind a lot over the years, I’d say I’m more confident in myself than I have ever been and hopefully more humble too, I’ve definitely been wanting to be more humble
@@jaggedjaws1586 oh sorry I was being rude, I hope things do improve for you, sometimes I’m bad with social graces and forget to also mention the stuff with others
We certainly need more doctors to make medical advancements toward proper care for intersex people.
I have no idea where my comment went. 😭 But thanks for sharing your story.
DO NOT REMIND ME OF FULL METAL ALCHEMIST I CRYED SOOOOO HARD AT THE CHIMERA PARTTTTTTT
When I was 6, I had a friend from school who had brain cancer. Hospitalized in September, died the end of that year.
Unrelated to that event, I'm not really in a good place right now. A couple of weeks ago my friends mother (we have minimal contact) emailed my folks and asked if I wanted to say a few words for the fundraiser she would be doing later. I just... didn't know what to say. At all. My mind was a blank void. And we had a mutual friend from kindergarted, first grade. I'm still friends with him
I didn't think to call my friend to make sure he got the email or he knew about it. That's how fucked up I am right now.
Anyway
Great video! I spent like, hours today binging your content.
While i'm not intersex, its amazing what I learned today. I already knew the struggles intersex people go through and I wish things would get better. I am trans, though, and I recently started hormones and unfortunately its not happening as quickly as i want it to. I'm ftm, so my experiences are different from a trans woman, especially an intersex trans woman. I hope i can get a higher dose of testosterone eventually
As someone in the medical field, (not a doctor or a nurse but some bizarre thing that is trusted to be a primary provider but not trusted to administer tylenol), Doctors are some god damn idiots. I've had to help one do the basic math of mg per ml on my own prescription dosage.
My own advice is to trust but verify. Wait until the initial panic subsides and start attacking the issues of why decisions are made.
Patients with specific conditions are almost* ALWAYS more informed on their conditions than any general care provider.
*exemptions for initial diagnosis window of a few months/ those that participate in willing ignorance.
The way she joked about the chimera, fucking killed me! 😆
To add on to the ending notes of this video, the most dangerous part of trans healthcare is the waiting lists, at least in the UK.
Even when knowing you are going to get care, its still too much for some.
Yep :/
These stories are always equal parts empowering, and blood-boiling.
Transgender and Intersex people truly are some of the most resilient individuals I've ever seen, and we can all learn from them.
I can't imagine being shamed for who I am, or for having the audacity to say "I'm not what you want me to be. I'm me"
Stronger people than I, that's for sure.
I’m absolutely sorry if this isn’t on topic but I really love her voice!
Me too!! :)
God hearing the pain in her voice at the end while talking about losing friends to suicide, literally made me cry
Yo I'm intersex and trans too! I'm XY afab, externally I look pretty much normal female, maybe slightly hairier with thicker but sparse body hair. A single ovoteste that calcified in my body and now just sits there, left side(too expensive to remove and it's harmless). My remaining overy is doughnut shaped and has nonviable "eggs", my body loves making testosterone but doesn't know how to really use it. I have a really bad imbalance of hormones, including terrible serotonin and dopamine deficiencies that make all my brain issues worse. My body basically doesn't know when to stop making neutrophils, so even when I'm not sick my white blood cell count is absurdly high, have issues recognizing hunger and I get migraines that basically blind me. Body also built my bones exceptionally thick with teeny tiny thornlike protrusions that wear down my cartlidge faster. The human body is weird as hell. I don't know if I will ever be able to go through hormone therapy, one because my body may not respond to it, and two it might fuck me up worse. Thank you for sharing!!!
Honestly, I feel so disappointed that doctors won't tell patients that they're intersex out of fear that they may hurt themselves (I also believe part of it is due to prejudice and just not wanting to accept that intersex exists). It is very difficult to communicate such news, but it's a part of the job. We (medical professionals) are taught how to do so and how to comfort our patients. Even more so, we have resources to give to our patients to help them process such information. But withholding health information from the patient? Making that decision for them?? I can't wrap my head around it. This is information that the patient has a right to know, ESPECIALLY, when it will affect them their entire lives. I hope that as the years go by, we will be able to have more open-minded, patient, kind, and ethically moral doctors.
I just want to say that this was an amazing video to watch. I had never even known that being intersex existed and I have a bi-gender twin sister and her bf is trans and now that I know all of this information I feel like I understand the situations with anything that has to do with gender, even if it's not intersex. You learn something new everyday
There's definitely a lot more to learn. This video IS great don't get me wrong. But it's still only one person's perspective. Some others i would recommend on TH-cam are Ash Hardell, echoisweird, Evie Lupine, Chris Stuckmann, Philosophy Tube, Contra Points, Kat Blaque, Dimitria Sparrow, Jammidodger.
such a brave woman
Indeed!
as a trans person i really liked this story, i was able to connect with allot of thing and the part at the end for advice for trans people is just amazing and made me soo happy
good thing you had a friend to help you, not having anyone is very mentally taxing. especially with none supportive parents