im a woman and i totally can relate to 20:10 i grew up needing to surpress my emotions cuz my mom is narcissist and only she can feel sad. im not allowed to be sad cuz "whats there to be sad about i gave u a good life" so i shut down my emotional sad side and developed anger and frustrations instead. It's been a toll on me.
i can relate to nicholas, but we really gotta improve! i think this is more prevalent in Singapore where not only are men raised to not speak about their feelings, many of us grew up with both parents working too and basically left to tend to our own emotions. do not underestimate the importance of parental presence and care during one's childhood and youth! but identifying it is the first step to resolving/improving it as adults. in moderation, being stoic helps men to become independent and strong, but too much of not addressing it becomes "avoidant". for a time, i also didnt relate to "sadness", but over time I realized it was my way of "avoiding" or "suppressing" that negative feeling. Meditation and therapy helped.
To help answer Joie question, one's attachment style can change over time despite how tragic the childhood is and depending on who one is with. So it's not uncommon for you to have a secure attachment style with your husband if he is different from your parents who result in an anxious or avoident style.
0:25: 💑 The hosts discuss the transition from crush to love and the difference between infatuation and crush. 4:07: 💔 The speaker discusses the difference in how men and women operate in relationships, with women being able to operate on love alone while men need to be in love to function in a family nucleus. 8:14: 💑 The speaker realizes that their previous dates were only dinner dates and emphasizes the importance of doing activities together for compatibility. 11:37: 🖼 The speaker got a tattoo of their online friend's drawing as a symbol of commitment. 15:41: 🗣 The speaker discusses the idea of swapping souls with someone and talks about attachment styles and their influence on love and relationships. 19:30: 💬 The way society expects men to have it all together and not show emotions affects how boys are raised. 23:38: 😔 The speaker discusses the challenges of understanding and navigating relationships in different cultures and attachment styles, as well as the difficulties of dating in the modern age. Recap by Tammy AI
Q, I really relate to you.. I'm also your age and I feel it's rough and tough to find someone that fits :( At one point I think to myself should I lower my standards to get someone and regret? Or should I keep it and accept the fact that I won't have a life partner? (This is coming from a standpoint where I don't wish to be single forever, I'm not saying if you wish to be single you're wrong)
Well there are many couples who marry after 1 to 3 years of courtship, it's about expectations and knowing if you want to settle down cos there's no perfect mate, you learn to compromise with each other for commitment.
I can relate to Q though. It's good to take your time getting to know a person well enough before you "fall in love". I recommend 6 months. Google trauma bonding/love bombing and you'll understand. Don't lower your standards!!
im a woman and i totally can relate to 20:10 i grew up needing to surpress my emotions cuz my mom is narcissist and only she can feel sad. im not allowed to be sad cuz "whats there to be sad about i gave u a good life" so i shut down my emotional sad side and developed anger and frustrations instead. It's been a toll on me.
i can relate to nicholas, but we really gotta improve! i think this is more prevalent in Singapore where not only are men raised to not speak about their feelings, many of us grew up with both parents working too and basically left to tend to our own emotions. do not underestimate the importance of parental presence and care during one's childhood and youth! but identifying it is the first step to resolving/improving it as adults. in moderation, being stoic helps men to become independent and strong, but too much of not addressing it becomes "avoidant". for a time, i also didnt relate to "sadness", but over time I realized it was my way of "avoiding" or "suppressing" that negative feeling. Meditation and therapy helped.
I don't fall in love, I step into love.
I love your podcast, it's like listening to conversations between best friends! love from KL
Thank you for the love! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Really enjoyed this episode!! Love the dynamics of the team!
To help answer Joie question, one's attachment style can change over time despite how tragic the childhood is and depending on who one is with. So it's not uncommon for you to have a secure attachment style with your husband if he is different from your parents who result in an anxious or avoident style.
0:25: 💑 The hosts discuss the transition from crush to love and the difference between infatuation and crush.
4:07: 💔 The speaker discusses the difference in how men and women operate in relationships, with women being able to operate on love alone while men need to be in love to function in a family nucleus.
8:14: 💑 The speaker realizes that their previous dates were only dinner dates and emphasizes the importance of doing activities together for compatibility.
11:37: 🖼 The speaker got a tattoo of their online friend's drawing as a symbol of commitment.
15:41: 🗣 The speaker discusses the idea of swapping souls with someone and talks about attachment styles and their influence on love and relationships.
19:30: 💬 The way society expects men to have it all together and not show emotions affects how boys are raised.
23:38: 😔 The speaker discusses the challenges of understanding and navigating relationships in different cultures and attachment styles, as well as the difficulties of dating in the modern age.
Recap by Tammy AI
Q, I really relate to you.. I'm also your age and I feel it's rough and tough to find someone that fits :( At one point I think to myself should I lower my standards to get someone and regret? Or should I keep it and accept the fact that I won't have a life partner?
(This is coming from a standpoint where I don't wish to be single forever, I'm not saying if you wish to be single you're wrong)
Me like Joie's look in this episode
omg thank u 😭🤍
if i cant find a decent man, im going to be single till i die. not going to get divorce and worst case scenario have a kid and ruin my life
yes same
Well there are many couples who marry after 1 to 3 years of courtship, it's about expectations and knowing if you want to settle down cos there's no perfect mate, you learn to compromise with each other for commitment.
Tenks Joie for lending me your pink shirt
what are your MBTIs!!!!!
What's their horoscope?
gruh, so you fell in love in him, made him fell in love, then you are disgusted by his love for you? wtf
1st
I can relate to Q though. It's good to take your time getting to know a person well enough before you "fall in love". I recommend 6 months. Google trauma bonding/love bombing and you'll understand. Don't lower your standards!!
Yesssss!