This was one of the most polished and outstanding presentations on the topic that I have heard. Actually, it's a model for how to give a clear presentation, period. Dr. Selby should be commended, as should the foundation for supporting his work and putting this online.
Yes! Great presentation, indeed. - Quite fascinating! And, Wonderful work. As, I work on a Masters, post 4.5 years, eXtremely,? severe Complex/ "c-PTSD". (STILL? Since, it sounds like it didn't make it in to the New, "DSM-5 TR!") A Life-long "Sci. kid," 💞 🐬 Former LPN, A. of Sc. + MHW. THANK YOU. ~ If, not Sub'd,* I will be! +Slight-mild Dysgraphia 💥 to 200+%, (If, that's possible.) so, Writing REHAB. For, an Old, SPL kid, too. Having had severe Dissociative Amnesia, from Over 1+ year of Nazi, 'Narcopathiic'' ABUSES; by 2 "Rt.W. Authoritarian"* bros.... Both, Cascading, that morning. And they enjoyed it! Oh, yeah, the Bocca Region for SP. & Lang, was 💥, too. + All 3 Nerv. Systems.
You can't really expect people to learn to react perfectly to bad environments, and that's how therapy fails so much I think. Therapy must be coupled with relocation services, job training and placement or at least temporary fast-tracked disability payments etc.
Yes you're right and therapy in UK on NHS is usually dbt and that's it DBT is not right for all but there's also MBCT but it's hard to get that in UK on nhs
I'm copying ur words down because they describe exactly how I feel in those moments this way I can explain it clearer and condensed to others when I need to thank you so much
This term borderline is misleading.Actually being a person who recently discovered that for 61 years I finally know what’s wrong with me.It is actually being born with no personality at all. That explains faking personalities .Being born with a unique personality is essential to living.People are born with physical challenges and emotional challenges.These conditions can be repaired,improved on or adapted .This is the same with a personality or a uniqueness that most people have.All the sociological problems(impulsiveness, drug use codependency or whatever)is simple.There is nothing in there bottomless pit to improve on.No foundation to build on.You fix something that never existed.you can’t possibly ever think that you can control your emotions if there is no foundation to return to.Actually the only practical way would be to inject an actual personality that any “normal “person was born with and then either depending on weather it was a good, or bad personality, Then you could use therapy on that if needed.
I really don’t know if the experts already realize this and is too hard to tell patients that that is what wrong or not.Any “normal person” who suddenly lost there personality that they were born with and perhaps developed and in some cases even changed throughout there life would act out in all these negative ways not having any choice when their very emotional soul suddenly ceased to exist.people can only interact with effectively if both parties have a “way”about them.BPD people can only invent a “way”.They can not change or improve something that never existed.For this reason, I am OUT!!!
As someone who's also been recently diagnosed with BPD, I agree completely... My whole life has been watching people take their internal source of guidance, their happy memories, and their values for granted. Then get angry at me for not being able to do things that come from those things. It's so sad to say, but I really am empty. I believe in treating people decently and with dignity and I love beauty. But that's all I have inside me and it's not enough.
This doesn’t apply to me personally, at least not in whole, not trying to offend you or anything. I had a personality up until I was 7-8, then for some reason things just went downhill from there. Before then I had been a happy child, brave, creative, curious, kind, no anger issues, loyal to friends. Right now I have no personality though or rather it changes as a function of my mood and environment
"A cascading failure is a failure in a system of interconnected parts in which the failure of one or few parts leads to the failure of other parts, growing progressively as a result of positive feedback. This can occur when a single part fails, increasing the probability that other portions of the system fail. Such a failure may happen in many types of systems, including power transmission, computer networking, finance, transportation systems, organisms, the human body, and ecosystems." May also be referred to as a downward spiral.
distract when upset isn't just bad advice, it's abysmal that this is as good as mental health professionals can come up with. MENTALIZATION of the painful content is the answer because NOT MENTALIZING is the issue that causes BPD! Find Peter Fonagy - He's a giant in this field
Yes. There's a wonderful set of rules. I had an addiction counselor back in the 1980s before DBT was even known about. She told me that a psychiatrist told her by following a 12 Step recovery plan is able to restore or train just about every type of psychic pain. Now that I've read a lot about DBT, 12 Steps are very similar.
These things hurt so Much i can barley watch them anymore and trying to think of attempting figuring out exactly whats going whats wrong with my head and how to better deal with my emotional cascades that cause me all kinda of stress and grief
I feel the same way. Their getting all this attention for being horrible human beings. Plain and simple “Treat people how you want to be treated”. Now everyone Has BPD like it’s a “cool thing”. People with BPD will drive a “Normal” person nuts.
My adult daughter is 21 and refuses to believe she needs help. She was diagnosed with BPD w/ narcissistic traits & behavioral problems at the age of 13 . She believes that I am the one who needs help and that everyone else is the problem. She has sabotaged all her relationships in life & most people don’t want to be around her, including family members. I have no idea what else to do.
@@G3.9-6 Can you spare energy? Can you give her time where she dictates what you will be doing? I played with an Autistic child... and from the happiness and connection... and the child giving direction... his agency developed. But it took lots of my energy. And he is in a better place. It was mostly worth it. It wasn't perfect... but since then I advocate PLAY...incase there is virtue. *with BPD I think... for someone I was not available emotionally... because I was focussed on the child in seemingly more need ... but others were neglected. And it is NOT EASY being there for this person. Still thinking on my strategy... But the person is "grownup" now... ... What now?!
@@G3.9-6 @Ma I watch reparenting self by Tim Fletcher, and videos by Dr. Gabor Maté... and connection & authenticity. We don't have a rulebook to life. We make it up as we go. We are not perfect... but that is the part of perfection... we create. Can be good to do it together... as family... *see if you can manage... and then come back and tell me how... because ir having a hard time with it ... too. **Still wishing you luck. -perhaps that was my only neccessary message, but now I've added three.
I wish people who didn't have BPD weren't allowed to "teach" about it. I felt either invalidated, insulted, or directly triggered by most of this presentation and it offered very little useful information in return.
@@mikestain5963 I have BPD and disagree with the original comment. BPD folk are some of the least self aware people in existence. They blame everything and never take any responsibility
Charlie Angkor If you hold down the ‘home’ button and tap the quit button you can save the charts to your pictures folder, ( its called taking a screen shot) When you look at your pictures use two fingers to zoom in, too much zoom and it gets too fuzzy.
I started cutting moved into burning cuz it felt better for longer if that makes any sense. I usually burned myself or lit myself on fire or tried to dye by driving recklessly so i hopefully didn’t have to physically kill myself cuz im to much of a coward to do it. And it was always to escape feelings of emotional distress. Ive had all my issues from probably infancy as far as i can remember cuz i cant but anyways. around kindergarten grade one ish or grade two somewhere in there i have a series of memories from kindergarten and i think grade one or two. Im not even sure but the very few and only pieces of evidence i have to try and piece any of my life together at all and why i feel how i do and what might of caused these deep seeded life effecting issues.
This is from 6 years ago... Yet, here we all are... keep working ou yourselves, ppl, there IS a way to not be like this! At least, that's I'm trying to remind myself of lol
No one knows whether it's genetic or learned behavior. Not all experts agree on this. Some believe it isn't curable and some do. Some experts believe it all has to do with a borderline learning at an early age that they can get a reward if they manipulate the reward giver.
Many factors to concider. Emotional dysregulation is biologically in the brain. There's some miscommunications between the different regions of the brain that controls impulsitivity, mood and emotions. What can cause the emotional dysregulation can be be a mix of factors such as trauma, genetic disposition, stress-vulnerability disposition and more.
How much research is compiled of each scientist that is pro forming the research and the theory perspectives taken into consideration? What are their backgrounds in relationship to the study? Have algorithms patterns been used to find correlation to pattern development of the causes of emotions. Such as historical emotions Epigenetics coupled with being reintroduced to an event? Is Mindfulness, doing puzzles, exercises another way of teaching how to distract the person from addressing an unresolved trigger event(s)?
Don't waste your time 😂 BPD is rooted in "mommy" using abandonment to repress a child's anger provoked by maltreatment from her side. It's that easy. Only "professionals" can't see it because they love mommy too much. Yeah, poor women 😂
Aaha...you just described the past 48 hours. so grateful I didn't lose the plot. At one point I sensed a pseudoseizure possibly percolating. Couple of days ago was Labor Day. Not surprised.
This content is a revelation. I read a book on a similar subject that drastically altered my life. "Mindful Mastery: Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World" by Kyle Ash
Family members of one with BPD cannot stop hurting the person with BPD, because it does not matter what the family members do or say. The person with BPD will ALWAYS feel hurt. That's the nature of the disorder. Often the only thing that they can ultimately do is to walk away.
@@teddmented Wrong. If you bother to learn their triggers, and care about them enough to try your best to avoid them, you can have a great relationship with them.
It's been a while since I watch this but I have been unfortunately, around borderlines. If you've ever listen to what a borderline is telling others it's all about manipulation. Whether a borderline is aware of it or not, manipulation hurts the borderline in the long run it also hurts the people they are manipulating. Most borderlines are aware that they are manipulating someone, and being aware means that they are choosing their illness over choosing to get well.
Sorry about that, it was an I Pad typo I didn't catch. You asked how self injury was always rewarded. The reward is attention. Hurting your self distracts the mind and as you hurt yourself your attention is on the hurt or hurting rather than what ever it is in your mind that is bothering you. Hurting yourself is also used to gain sympathy from others, which is also attention. Attention is the answer to your question. I spoke of manipulation because this self hurting is a manipulation, however one looks at it. These negative manipulations only harm... they do not serve the best interests of anyone or anything.
radical acceptance of personal responsibility why radical? start practicing that you will tell yourself whatever the problem trauma or unexpected outcome is... that it is your fault of course a small percentage isn't but for this instance that isn't the point the point is to 'workout' the ability for personal responsibility with practice it will become stronger think of it in terms of moving on from crawl to be able to walk and then run
Could people who are scuentists please empthaise that all famial causes if BPD are not always problem childhoods or abuse trauma is different fir all. Inmy case it was verbal bullying all through school. Also as a child back in the 1970s when if you were in hospital parents couldnt stay at night. They ciuldnt go into anasethic room with you or in recovery. Ut dudbt seem tobither ne but caused issues maby years later. I was verbally bullued from say seven right through to age 16 I was also felt iut of place as i couldnt throw, or catch a bal,l skip ,tie ny shoe laces , or balence on a beam. Aged nine my dad died from a massive cardaric arrest within minutes Myself and friends who were in free school meals at middle school stuck out as our dinner raffke tickets were different colour to ithers plus we gad to go to front if foid queue that emotional well abuse by a school eouldnt ve allowed nowadays you wouldnt get away with it but ut made us feel humilated distressed So as you cansee there was trauma vut a different trauna to usual trauma
It’s unfortunate this speaker advocates for managing the emotional cascades instead of helping them get to the root of the emotional issues via a more effective therapy modality
This was one of the most polished and outstanding presentations on the topic that I have heard. Actually, it's a model for how to give a clear presentation, period. Dr. Selby should be commended, as should the foundation for supporting his work and putting this online.
}
Yes! Great presentation, indeed. - Quite fascinating!
And, Wonderful work.
As, I work on a Masters, post 4.5 years, eXtremely,? severe Complex/ "c-PTSD". (STILL? Since, it sounds like it didn't make it in to the New, "DSM-5 TR!")
A Life-long "Sci. kid," 💞 🐬
Former LPN, A. of Sc. + MHW.
THANK YOU. ~ If, not Sub'd,* I will be!
+Slight-mild Dysgraphia 💥 to 200+%, (If, that's possible.) so, Writing REHAB. For, an Old, SPL kid, too.
Having had severe Dissociative Amnesia, from Over 1+ year of Nazi, 'Narcopathiic'' ABUSES; by 2 "Rt.W. Authoritarian"* bros.... Both, Cascading, that morning. And they enjoyed it!
Oh, yeah, the Bocca Region for SP. & Lang, was 💥, too.
+ All 3 Nerv. Systems.
Thank you for your hard work and support.
Question #1 why do ppl engage in self injury w/o suicidal intent
ANSWER- #4 to escape from the feelings emotional distress!!!!
It releases endorphins.
You can't really expect people to learn to react perfectly to bad environments, and that's how therapy fails so much I think. Therapy must be coupled with relocation services, job training and placement or at least temporary fast-tracked disability payments etc.
Correct
Yes you're right and therapy in UK on NHS is usually dbt and that's it DBT is not right for all but there's also MBCT but it's hard to get that in UK on nhs
I'm copying ur words down because they describe exactly how I feel in those moments this way I can explain it clearer and condensed to others when I need to thank you so much
Thank you for posting this presentation.
thank you. the "emotional cascade" research has been useful for me. I am so glad I found this! Great metaphors too. :)
Excellent talk with easy to understand explanations and examples.
This has been very helpful, thank you
this helped me so much to understand this problem
This term borderline is misleading.Actually being a person who recently discovered that for 61 years I finally know what’s wrong with me.It is actually being born with no personality at all. That explains faking personalities .Being born with a unique personality is essential to living.People are born with physical challenges and emotional challenges.These conditions can be repaired,improved on or adapted .This is the same with a personality or a uniqueness that most people have.All the sociological problems(impulsiveness, drug use codependency or whatever)is simple.There is nothing in there bottomless pit to improve on.No foundation to build on.You fix something that never existed.you can’t possibly ever think that you can control your emotions if there is no foundation to return to.Actually the only practical way would be to inject an actual personality that any “normal “person was born with and then either depending on weather it was a good, or bad personality, Then you could use therapy on that if needed.
I really don’t know if the experts already realize this and is too hard to tell patients that that is what wrong or not.Any “normal person” who suddenly lost there personality that they were born with and perhaps developed and in some cases even changed throughout there life would act out in all these negative ways not having any choice when their very emotional soul suddenly ceased to exist.people can only interact with effectively if both parties have a “way”about them.BPD people can only invent a “way”.They can not change or improve something that never existed.For this reason, I am OUT!!!
I think you're on to something. Take care.
As someone who's also been recently diagnosed with BPD, I agree completely... My whole life has been watching people take their internal source of guidance, their happy memories, and their values for granted. Then get angry at me for not being able to do things that come from those things. It's so sad to say, but I really am empty. I believe in treating people decently and with dignity and I love beauty. But that's all I have inside me and it's not enough.
@Benny Pickerel Thank you. Your words are beacons of truth in a sea of sh*t.
This doesn’t apply to me personally, at least not in whole, not trying to offend you or anything. I had a personality up until I was 7-8, then for some reason things just went downhill from there. Before then I had been a happy child, brave, creative, curious, kind, no anger issues, loyal to friends. Right now I have no personality though or rather it changes as a function of my mood and environment
Thank you, Dr. Selby. This presentation was very helpful and gave me a much better understanding (personal & professional) of bpd.
"A cascading failure is a failure in a system of interconnected parts in which the failure of one or few parts leads to the failure of other parts, growing progressively as a result of positive feedback. This can occur when a single part fails, increasing the probability that other portions of the system fail. Such a failure may happen in many types of systems, including power transmission, computer networking, finance, transportation systems, organisms, the human body, and ecosystems."
May also be referred to as a downward spiral.
Great content on the channel, especially this video. So helpful, congratulations to Dr Selby
distract when upset isn't just bad advice, it's abysmal that this is as good as mental health professionals can come up with. MENTALIZATION of the painful content is the answer because NOT MENTALIZING is the issue that causes BPD! Find Peter Fonagy - He's a giant in this field
thanks for the presentation
Very good
12 step program works for me for all 'symptoms'
Yes. There's a wonderful set of rules. I had an addiction counselor back in the 1980s before DBT was even known about. She told me that a psychiatrist told her by following a 12 Step recovery plan is able to restore or train just about every type of psychic pain. Now that I've read a lot about DBT, 12 Steps are very similar.
These things hurt so Much i can barley watch them anymore and trying to think of attempting figuring out exactly whats going whats wrong with my head and how to better deal with my emotional cascades that cause me all kinda of stress and grief
The real question should be what can a person with BPD do for family members. No one seems to care about their victims
call 911
I feel the same way. Their getting all this attention for being horrible human beings. Plain and simple “Treat people how you want to be treated”. Now everyone Has BPD like it’s a “cool thing”. People with BPD will drive a “Normal” person nuts.
@@lani2894 "nuts" is an understatement of the year. Hah. I literally almost killed myself.
@@mikestain5963 Trust me, I understand. I Never felt so unstable in my life.
Id love for one these doctors to reach out to me and figure out my brain.....i can assure you im quite odd
What behaviors separate BPD and PTSD(excluding self-harm/suicide)
@@Ceekeyz people with BPD can definitely be cruel. They frequently are, if they think someone will abandon them.
My adult daughter is 21 and refuses to believe she needs help. She was diagnosed with BPD w/ narcissistic traits & behavioral problems at the age of 13 . She believes that I am the one who needs help and that everyone else is the problem. She has sabotaged all her relationships in life & most people don’t want to be around her, including family members. I have no idea what else to do.
Doesn't sound easy. Hope she finds some good friends. Or one. And someone that meets her... where she is. Peace to both of you...
@@playsavedthechild.2848 thank you!
@@G3.9-6 Can you spare energy?
Can you give her time where she dictates what you will be doing?
I played with an Autistic child...
and from the happiness and connection... and the child giving direction... his agency developed.
But it took lots of my energy.
And he is in a better place. It was mostly worth it.
It wasn't perfect... but since then I advocate PLAY...incase there is virtue.
*with BPD I think... for someone I was not available emotionally... because I was focussed on the child in seemingly more need ... but others were neglected.
And it is NOT EASY being there for this person. Still thinking on my strategy...
But the person is "grownup" now...
...
What now?!
@@G3.9-6 Busy doing some homework on BPD : eg th-cam.com/video/Pstv6FZZlQw/w-d-xo.html
If you have suggestions please pass on this way...
@@G3.9-6 @Ma I watch reparenting self by Tim Fletcher,
and videos by Dr. Gabor Maté... and connection & authenticity.
We don't have a rulebook to life.
We make it up as we go.
We are not perfect... but that is the part of perfection... we create.
Can be good to do it together...
as family...
*see if you can manage... and then come back and tell me how... because ir having a hard time with it ... too.
**Still wishing you luck.
-perhaps that was my only neccessary message, but now I've added three.
Thank you!
I wish people who didn't have BPD weren't allowed to "teach" about it. I felt either invalidated, insulted, or directly triggered by most of this presentation and it offered very little useful information in return.
@@mikestain5963 do you feel better now?
@@tiffanysparkz2757 kinda
@@mikestain5963 extremely insensitive. Don't comment on what you don't understand
@@aurusha7250 you are right. Sorry
@@mikestain5963 I have BPD and disagree with the original comment. BPD folk are some of the least self aware people in existence. They blame everything and never take any responsibility
the audio is kinda weak and difficult to understand. the letters on the graph so tiny I can’t read them even fullscreen on a retina display.
Charlie Angkor If you hold down the ‘home’ button and tap the quit button you can save the charts to your pictures folder, ( its called taking a screen shot) When you look at your pictures use two fingers to zoom in, too much zoom and it gets too fuzzy.
I started cutting moved into burning cuz it felt better for longer if that makes any sense. I usually burned myself or lit myself on fire or tried to dye by driving recklessly so i hopefully didn’t have to physically kill myself cuz im to much of a coward to do it. And it was always to escape feelings of emotional distress. Ive had all my issues from probably infancy as far as i can remember cuz i cant but anyways. around kindergarten grade one ish or grade two somewhere in there i have a series of memories from kindergarten and i think grade one or two. Im not even sure but the very few and only pieces of evidence i have to try and piece any of my life together at all and why i feel how i do and what might of caused these deep seeded life effecting
issues.
This is from 6 years ago... Yet, here we all are... keep working ou yourselves, ppl, there IS a way to not be like this! At least, that's I'm trying to remind myself of lol
12 steps
can anyone explain the difference between gentically and biologically... the difference in BPD.
No one knows whether it's genetic or learned behavior. Not all experts agree on this. Some believe it isn't curable and some do. Some experts believe it all has to do with a borderline learning at an early age that they can get a reward if they manipulate the reward giver.
Many factors to concider. Emotional dysregulation is biologically in the brain. There's some miscommunications between the different regions of the brain that controls impulsitivity, mood and emotions. What can cause the emotional dysregulation can be be a mix of factors such as trauma, genetic disposition, stress-vulnerability disposition and more.
How much research is compiled of each scientist that is pro forming the research and the theory perspectives taken into consideration? What are their backgrounds in relationship to the study? Have algorithms patterns been used to find correlation to pattern development of the causes of emotions. Such as historical emotions Epigenetics coupled with being reintroduced to an event? Is Mindfulness, doing puzzles, exercises another way of teaching how to distract the person from addressing an unresolved trigger event(s)?
Don't waste your time 😂
BPD is rooted in "mommy" using abandonment to repress a child's anger provoked by maltreatment from her side.
It's that easy.
Only "professionals" can't see it because they love mommy too much.
Yeah, poor women 😂
Aaha...you just described the past 48 hours. so grateful I didn't lose the plot. At one point I sensed a pseudoseizure possibly percolating. Couple of days ago was Labor Day. Not surprised.
This content is a revelation. I read a book on a similar subject that drastically altered my life. "Mindful Mastery: Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World" by Kyle Ash
Can I donate a brain for study? It's not mine though. And does it by law have to be removed after death only?
Lmao
Haaaaaaaa 🤣🤣🤣
Somehow, the average person manages to live without one.
4
What can family members do? Stop hurting people.
lol, this made me laugh but it's also accurate lol.
Family members of one with BPD cannot stop hurting the person with BPD, because it does not matter what the family members do or say. The person with BPD will ALWAYS feel hurt. That's the nature of the disorder. Often the only thing that they can ultimately do is to walk away.
It’s literally impossible not to trigger someone with severe bpd
@@aristotleemerson3248 That's not true at all.
@@teddmented Wrong. If you bother to learn their triggers, and care about them enough to try your best to avoid them, you can have a great relationship with them.
Best way to get money for research is to promise you'll try to find a way to utilize one of those g-d cell phones in your solution.
Self injury is always rewarded though.. self responsibility is not. This is screwed up.
It's been a while since I watch this but I have been unfortunately, around borderlines. If you've ever listen to what a borderline is telling others it's all about manipulation. Whether a borderline is aware of it or not, manipulation hurts the borderline in the long run it also hurts the people they are manipulating. Most borderlines are aware that they are manipulating someone, and being aware means that they are choosing their illness over choosing to get well.
A attention
Sorry about that, it was an I Pad typo I didn't catch. You asked how self injury was always rewarded. The reward is attention. Hurting your self distracts the mind and as you hurt yourself your attention is on the hurt or hurting rather than what ever it is in your mind that is bothering you. Hurting yourself is also used to gain sympathy from others, which is also attention. Attention is the answer to your question. I spoke of manipulation because this self hurting is a manipulation, however one looks at it. These negative manipulations only harm... they do not serve the best interests of anyone or anything.
They analyze things to death.... enough already. We need a cure.
radical acceptance of personal responsibility
why radical?
start practicing that you will tell yourself
whatever the problem trauma or unexpected outcome is...
that it is your fault
of course a small percentage isn't
but for this instance
that isn't the point
the point is to 'workout' the ability for personal responsibility
with practice it will become stronger
think of it in terms of moving on from crawl to be able to walk and then run
Could people who are scuentists please empthaise that all famial causes if BPD are not always problem childhoods or abuse trauma is different fir all.
Inmy case it was verbal bullying all through school.
Also as a child back in the 1970s when if you were in hospital parents couldnt stay at night.
They ciuldnt go into anasethic room with you or in recovery.
Ut dudbt seem tobither ne but caused issues maby years later.
I was verbally bullued from say seven right through to age 16
I was also felt iut of place as i couldnt throw, or catch a bal,l skip ,tie ny shoe laces , or balence on a beam.
Aged nine my dad died from a massive cardaric arrest within minutes
Myself and friends who were in free school meals at middle school stuck out as our dinner raffke tickets were different colour to ithers plus we gad to go to front if foid queue that emotional well abuse by a school eouldnt ve allowed nowadays you wouldnt get away with it but ut made us feel humilated distressed
So as you cansee there was trauma vut a different trauna to usual trauma
Yes, it's not always the parents or primary caregivers.
It’s unfortunate this speaker advocates for managing the emotional cascades instead of helping them get to the root of the emotional issues via a more effective therapy modality