Unbound: Getting The Narcissist Out Of Your Head
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- When you've had longstanding exposure to narcissistic influences, it's easy to be emotionally triggered. Dr. Les Carter discusses how it is possible to overcome those instant reactions by applying objective thinking. The more you see "behind the scenes," the more steady you can become.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his TH-cam channel, his videos have received more than 130 million views.
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Let’s take our self-Respect seriously and not let anyone dictate us who we are and what we are to be or do. We are responsible for ourselves and nobody else. It’s our birth right to be free and live our true authentic lives with integrity.
You make sense, Izabela.
AND SO i DO!
@@IzabelaWaniek-i1x perfectly stated.
Trauma bonds are powerful at the subconscious level !
...und Traumabindungen versetzen einen nicht nur in Todesängste, sondern wenn die Traumabindungen gezielt eingesetzt werden, fühlt man sich noch wie ein Idiot, obwohl die Person, die so etwas macht in das Gefängnis gehört
'For there is - urm - something very powerful about a feeling that - urm - directly links to the underlying neural circuitry'
Professor Jennifer Lerner HKS
Definitely needed this one today, Dr. C!! One thing I try to remember is real life doesn’t have Hollywood endings where the narc suffers some consequence for the injustice they’ve done to others. That’s Hollywood. Hard to accept that real life isn’t going to give us such a tidy resolution. We shall carry forward in spite of having been the victims of narc abuse … ✌️😘❤️
Ruminating is worst then drugs
Yes. I can be 👍
Yep, here too.
Bingo
It's terrible and so difficult to stop
@barbaramarshall3164 yes it is!
This is so spot on! 🤓 *Abusive people often subconsciously manipulate us into believing that their opinion matters more than our own and that we're not qualified/ALLOWED to validate our own worth, feelings, reality, etc. But that's a dirty lie!* And anyone who tries to peddle it has revealed their *unworthiness* to have an opinion about us! 🚫👿🛡😀 I still get triggered sometimes and have to journal my way through it ✍, but life is SO much easier and happier now that I'm able to actually like myself and *decide* whether someone's opinion matters to me or not! 🌈🌿🍀💖
Let's play "Weights and Measures", shall we?
Does THEIR voice, THEIR actions, THEIR presence Add or Subtract from your life?
Be More of Who You Want To Be, And Way, Way Less Of What THEY Want You To Be!
Put that on repeat.
Eventually, the scales will balance in favor of YOU!
Stay Healthy!!
So wise, Bara. Otherwise you will get consumed in no time flat, especially in these desperate times!
@@elcee7800 Thank you so much. If only we lived in a world where this wasn't a requirement! Here's to that day! 🧡🧡🧡🫂
@@BaraSchmidt ....my balance comes from staying away from them . I have one brother that I had hope for , I slowly introduced him to the knowledge of narc abuse and he told me I was crazy and cut me off completely . It broke my heart bc I had such hope for him . Then about a year later he showed up at my house and hugged me & cried and wanted to know more . I had been in treatment for 5 years at that point so I gently led him to resources to get him educated . We are best friends now , what an answered prayer 🤲🏻🫂🙏🏻❤️
And yes, it is a cycle of addiction of our brain chemistry as well (rollercoaster).
Abusing people, places and things is their life mission from their brainwashed playbook.
Ooh. Definitely needing this one. My daughter has finally been doing FB photo dumps of her newborn son, including one with visitors. Seeing a pic with her mom (my N-ex) holding my grandson put me in a spin where I needed to do another round of forgiving. The jealousy in me surprised me.
Another issue I’m now realizing, is that I’m STILL doing a safety hack habit I started, back when I was in the throes of devalue/discard. Any time I looked at my phone, my (now) N-ex would accuse me of all sorts of evil things I could be doing or seeing on that phone. So, I developed a habit of reading aloud any email or text message I was looking at, figuring that making up innocent work texts and emails while actually reading messages from a lover, would be too difficult for a man as simple as I. Lol. A lover. Anyway, that habit became ingrained, to the extent that I STILL do that, now almost 10 years after the discard.
If we are dealing with narcissistic people in life something is not aware, healed, in balance or understood in ourselfes, otherwise we would not let them in. It is our responsibility to learn and heal from something that a narcissist cuts in deep and painful and makes it aware so we can´t ignore it (anymore). Take it as a chance to learn, heal and get aware what backdoor is open in your life. It is sad and very painful, but a chance to find our wounds, unmet needs, and wrong definition of things in order to be able to correct them. Don´t lose yourself in blaming and victimhood. I had parents like that (both of them, many partners are narcissistic enablers as well even if they see themselfs as the empath that they not always are) and covert partners after that. I was not in my inner healthy balance and I had to see, heal and learn. Today I see what they are in the very first encounter, am healed that I can say goodbye right there, not think about them anymore. Cycle closed. Yes letting go is forgivness without ever going back, seing the truth what they are and that they will never change. It is a journey, a good one. Good luck to you!
🫂 Sorry Aaron. It can hurt but it's easy to have a knee jerk reaction, imo. You had hoped for more for your family. It's understandable.
I am witnessing your pain, for whatever it's worth.
@@aaronkwolfeTotally get it Aaron. My mother tried to speak to me Monday after no contact for 3 years at my request. Since Tuesday morning iced had IBS . It's hard to believe the impact can be so profound, isn't it?
I’m so sorry you had to experience this. Is it jealousy or just a flat out insult…..again?
When I find myself thinking over the same old conversations/events like a hamster in a wheel, I ask myself, "What do I need to know/learn from this?" I believe we keep going over stuff because there were lessons or knowledge that we did not get and are still looking for. What are we trying to resolve? Are there unanswerable questions like, "Why didn't he love me enough to not do that?" or "What kind of parent/sister/brother would do that to their brother/sister?" There are a lot of questions you can flush out simply by asking yourself what you are looking for that keeps this person so present in your life. "Is he still going to hurt me?" "Am I going to marry someone else that does the same thing to me?"
Once we can narrow down our own questions/fears, we may realize that it can be answered simply by knowing these people were narcissists and that is how they operate. Period. There is nothing else to know. It's like asking why your pet snake bit you. Because that is what snakes do. Did you believe that your "snake" was going to go against creation and be different?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from a narcissist, a bi-polar, an alcoholic, or anyone, can leave lifelong programming on our brain's computer, which seems to want to have that program running in the background even though we try to keep closing the page.
I have found that sometimes the only way to let it go is to pull the plug and forgive them. Release them to God, the universe, fate, whatever works for you. But forgive them and know it had nothing to do with you. A boulder comes crashing down a hillside onto the highway and you run into it. Then you see it keep rolling off the cliff and continue down the hillside, destroying houses, cars, whatever it hits. Do you blame yourself? Do you blame the boulder? Of course not. It's what boulders do.
Forgive those who you need to release. Journal it if it makes you feel better. But know also that holding onto the memories doesn't serve you. Only letting go, and knowing that what we learned from it is important, and carry that forward. In your mind (journal) say, "Thank you for teaching me what narcissism looks like, so I can teach others. Thank you for strengthening me in my knowledge that I am fine just the way I am, and to be able to recognize how people like you can affect people like me, so I can help others."
A big part for us is learning to accept "uncertainty" and not having all the answers at once. To move forward into love and faith.
This has been a life long battle for me. The narcissistic family who does this with harsh judgemental put downs are so unqualified and sometimes ridiculously clownish. They cause so much harm and suffering. One thing that helps with rumination is to exchange the image of their false power with how clownish they really are. It is like seeing the wizard of oz behind the curtains..
Yes!! Removing your own emotional perspective for a more subjective one, is what is needed. It removes the hold the narcissistic situation has on you!!
@elizabethy2912 Another thing I have learned that arguing back with them is useless energy and they like confrontation. One I read this from a PhD that a narcissist withers and dies without your constant attention.
After a 29 year marriage to a generational Cluster B Narc fam. This is for my daughter and I.
Codependency is my underlying issue & strongly relying on myself in big or small ways has delivered me from narcissistic abuse. Listen to your intuition because your body cannot lie to you! Gut instinct takes us to a safer & better place if we learn to trust ourselves first 💟✨☮️
@@caroleminke6116 ...you know what Carole , maybe that's my underlying issue , I'm not comfortable trusting myself yet . I've lived in abuse for over 60 years and this doom I've been in is still difficult to see through . I am so much clearer than in the past but Sooooo much time in that pressure cooker has taken a large toll on me physically and emotionally . Thanks for your insight ❤️
@@caroleminke6116 Right ✅️ 👌! Listen to your body. I took care of my Narcissistic cousin when ahe had a knee replacement. I had to put up with her barbs and jabs and incessant criticisms, but as I left Florida driving to Colorado, I felt the knots in my stomach unwind and felt like I could breathe again. My body had been warning me that I was in the presence of a toxic person.
I found something. Here it is:
Co-dependency is a loss of self-hood and the reason why women will compromise their values with narcissistic men. We don't feel good enough and we've been subconsciously programmed to seek approval of those who exploit the need to feel loved.
My question is , how do you get past the total & complete comfort of self isolation ? I have no desire to be around people or interact with anyone . I used to be so invested in having friends around & enjoyed camaraderie , this is no longer true for me . I'm feeling so content being alone , yet I'm wondering if this is unhealthy for me in the long run . 🤷 I do understand that the feeling of such peace that I have with just me & my dog is something I never had before , but how long will this be my comfortable norm ??
I look forward to a day for isolation and choosing who I will associate with. Becoming our authentic selves I believe is the goal for self fulfillment. Not being manipulated. Developing talents and interests- learning about truths that have been covered up, and recently are coming to light. If I may share one truth - in a lab we can petrifi Wood in one day. Not millions of years. All you need is pressure and sand. Take the time to grow intellectually- broaden your horizons.
For me it will be into infinity lol.
Patty, you make good baby steps by your frequent appearance in chat streams and comment threads. You put your genuine self out there among virtual strangers. You decide if that’s enough, or if it’s just a good start.
Alone can be dangerous. So can poor relationships. Your duty is to find the best for yourself. Heal, grow, serve. In that order. But there is no timeline. You get to decide that, too.
@@aaronkwolfe ..I do enjoy being an encouragement to others , I also like to be helpful as well , but this usually lands me in a situation that I regret . It's very difficult for me to find a happy medium in this area . Maybe it's just "this area " that is so distressing for me . I have ONE good friend ( lady ) that I can enjoy & count on but we live miles away from each other and spend very little time together . We text & talk frequently but she works full time and her days off are so full ( caring for an aging mom ) that I feel guilty if we go anywhere by ourselves . I guess I'll just hang out with TH for the time being , it's a safe space for me & I like the group we have , thx Aaron 👍🏻
@@Hatbox948..... wow 😳
I agree with all of this! I have experienced the battle between the voice in my head that tells me the truth and the noise of the mean people who attempted to program me to think I was stupid and unworthy of love. On the reverse side I was judged as harsh by attempting to instruct my children while my husband was coddling them, negating my rules and siding with the children when they were in need of instruction. To this day the children dislike me and like him, but I have never treated them badly but they think so.
@@gwendolynwehage6336 ....😞
To me getting triggered by narcissistic people is always a wake up call to get out of there, because it will never get better. I ended up emotionally dysregulated and with burnout many times. I take these triggers now very seriously that something is wrong. Many self proclaimed coaches here in YT give horribly wrong advice like don´t trust your intuition or your triggers, quite the contrary actually - trust them!
Yes. If you feel something is wrong, it's wrong. I don't buy into those toxic-positive coaches.
@@yukio_saito Exactly. We should all learn to finally trust ourself and intuition again. Narcissists don´t want you to trust your gut so it is easy for them to manipulate and control people.
A coach's job is never to give you advice, but rather to help you find your own answers.
@@roxymovie3938 Agree.
Yes. Trust your gut 👍
How about an unbound on the Narcissist behind the wheel: disregard for rules of the road, tailgating, cut-offs and even road rage. Menace to society.
That describes our President. Menace to society. Hell bent on total destruction
It’s about power… if a narc has control of anything from a car to a home to a job, dominance is the result! Think Ted Bundy, then think again about the person at the wheel
@@bills2814 ..being trapped in the car with a narc is often terrifying . They think they can control the road & everyone on it , but when that reality becomes fictional to them , it's time to take it out on the passengers in the car with them . Heaven help us all !! 😲😲😲
I experienced this is with a narcissist ex-friend. Horrible road rage. The last time I drove with her and she started honking her horn at someone, I told her that I liked my life and that she probably shouldn't do that because they might have a gun. That didn't go over well, but she did stop. I'm surprised she didn't include it in the email list she sent to me of things that were wrong with me when she lost her mind a few weeks ago.
Great topic thank you for tackling it. ❤Hey Gus.
Surrounded by toxic relationships is so hard.
This video really,really hit a lot of people hard. Not in a bad way, just helping understand why you have been pumped years off crap.
I found hypnosis helpful to heal from the abuse.
This was pure gold DR Le's, Thank you so much for this, Great advice, This is my life, We have choice, Free will, No one has the right to dictate what we think, feel behave, No one has the right to tell me what my reality is, I know what it is, I'm not backing down, Peace, love and respect to you , Gus and all, All glory smiles to the most high :-) smile for miles :-)
Thank you for what you do. It really resonates and is validating.
Dr. Carter; you're the best!
Thank you.
Thank u so much Doctor Carter
This is my biggest challenge Doc!
My heart goes out to all of you. This narc stuff is ABUSE! I know a couple who also abuse drugs. So theres another reason for their craziness!
THE HARDEST PART OF THE NARC. SITUATION IS THAT THEY ARE LEAVING, CLAIM THEY ARE LEAVING, RANT ABOUT LEAVING & IT GOES ON & ON & ON & THYE ARE STILL AROUND. MY EX WAS LEAVING OVER & OVER & OVER & EVEN AFTER HE LEFT, HE WAS NOT GONE!
NOT FOR MORE THAN (3) YRS.! HE WAS NOT GONE - WE HAD NO CHILDREN! THERE WAS NO REASON FO RHIM TO STICK AROUND BUT HE DID FOR YEARS!
Thank you for helping me progress! Your voice and comments are so calming I want to curl up on your couch with your dog!
When I worked with domestic violence victims I suggested that when they heard the abuser’s voice in their head and saw an image of them in their mind to make them smaller and smaller until they were tiny and their voice was high pitched like a chipmunk (a la Mike TeeVee in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. ) This worked for me in my relationship with a family member too.
Right. It took years for the "ear worm" of the Religious Narcissist who once plagued my life, to cease tormenting me. She said so many unkind, cruel words to me, and it took forever for me to stop replaying her words. However it was like a bell that the rope has been pulled. At first the clanging is fast and furious, and then as time goes by, flashbacks come less and less until there's no memory at all. It's been 10 years now since I told her never to contact me again, and she never even comes to mind now.
That's called spiritual abuse! God gave us a choice to follow Him, or not follow him. X
Wow! I think you've met my family, Dr. C! 🤪
It hard to do I not doing what he wants I’m living my life I don’t have many years left . I have heart failure so I’m just trying to help my daughter get free of my husband before I die . It all projection. Everything my husband say about me is what he is doing, I gave faults but he doesn’t know them because he didn’t bother to ever get to know me in 40 years.
I think many of us are struggling with this.
@@Hatbox948 Absolutely. God help us 🙏 ❤️🫂
So grateful for your channel - it's helped me feel so much better practically after being discarded by a narcissist
Question: When listening to your videos about narcissism, my life with narcissist husband all made sense. It was painful to look back but I clearly saw what had happened to cause me to spend most of my time alone. I knew why I fell apart on jobs because I did not have enough self confidence to be strong enough to work. I knew why I was running on extreme fear. I could go back with the help of your information to put my life in perspective of living with a narcissist husband and make a lot of progress toward healing.
However, I have been unable to do the same with my mother. Lately, more than ever, her words haunt me. For example, one time I worked hard to win a 4-H club contest and indeed won the contest.. My mother's words were, "Well, I guess this will just make a little fool out of you!" Other times she would say things like, " I went through so much pain having you and every woman goes through the valley of the shadow of death to give birth and now you don't even appreciate it. You don't know how to do anything. Plenty of girls you age, cook, sew, and clean and make straight A's and look at you! being lazy and just stupid and you don't even appreciate what I went through to have you." As soon as I start to try to deal with all the caustic words she said, and put it perspective I can't do it. Instead, I make excuses for her. I still feel sorrowful that she said how bad her life was and that after she had children she was tied down and was no longer free. Why do I defend my mother and make excuses for the caustic, hurtful, devastating things she said to me while I have been able to do see my husband's for the narcissist he is and and know it was so wrong of him to do those things to me that took away the last bit of self confidence I had and caused me to even stop trying to have a life. But I can see that my mother's words and actions set me up for finding a narc and why I allowed so much abuse. But I feel guilty trying to think that she was a huge part of my anxiety filled, depressed life.
That was pretty bad. My mom was similar. She'd been a nun before marriage, and perhaps should have remained one. I think she hated her children and hated having had four of us.
@@surlif ...I get it , my mom just flat out told me she wished she NEVER HAD KIDS (5) . Why do it then ? Her husband was a narc & demanded those kids yet wanted no part of financially or emotionally supporting any of us . Five damaged kids now 5 damaged adults .... I'm so glad I went No Contact ... it's a life saver for me .
She doesn't deserve to be defended. She sounds absolutely despicable. I am so sorry you had to go through that. She will one day stand before God and have to give an account for abusing the gift of you.
I find it very difficult to release the mental grip my mother has had on me. I am 61 years old. I have finally gone no contact with her. Yes, she is frail and elderly, but is still NARCASSISTIC and caustic and insincere. I've given myself permission to go forward, without guilt, and live my life without her harsh judgment. It is liberating. I told a friend about my transformation. She replied with "oh Jayne, let her into your life, she loves you"
Well, that's just not going to happen🎉
People just don't understand what it's like. The way she treats you is not love. My mother was still criticizing me on her death bed. It never ends.
@Cologal60 i guess the only way to end it (for me) is to walk away. I think about the day she passes, and if I'll feel better, or different. I'm sorry to hear that you were served your mom's disdain to the very end.
I always think they might soften as they depart. I worry I've been too harsh to my kids along the way.
So many feelings & worries.
Thank you for sharing.💓
.. When all you can do is all you can do 😐
You tried for 61 years! You deserve peace & happiness.
I have just been released from my mother’s abuse she passed at 95 , I’m 63. Even a few days before she died even in her fragile state still managed to judge, criticise and put me down.
I'll hear what other individuals say, but I have the final authority of who I am and I have healthy control over who I choose to be. I act responsibly and let my actions speak for themselves. Other people do not have the final say over who I am. I release them and there is no need to defend myself or be afraid of what they say, twist, or might do. Healthy people will see who I am and will be interested in truth. Those are my true friends and family. God is also with me and sees my heart in secret (Taking this in).
'I release you' as my judge.
@@well_weathered That's right.
I'm at work. Looking forward to this.
5 days in. God answered my prayer to end the marraige. Yes he is an abusive narc. But as a "great man of music," brilliant and handsome, and therefore irreplaceable, the good, which rises to memory now I am in safety, causes deep grief. It grates the soul to have to rehearse the abuse in order to stay away. Prayers please. I must stay strong now.
My prayers are with you. Keep learning about who this person is. Narcissists are very hard to reconcile in our minds because they use intermittent reinforcement, being really love bombing/doing nice deeds and then turning around and doing really coercive, manipulative and aggressive things on the other side. They are a Jekyll and Hyde personality Which can be Extremely confusing. This is part of their coercive control to keep us off balance. If you look at the whole pattern of their behaviour it is nothing short of controlling, manipulative, dominating and abusive with a heck of a lot of brainwashing chucked in to create confusion, euphoric recall, dependence, submission and taking onboard their views and perspectives contrary to our own needs. Stay away you’ve done a great job keep taking step-by-step and learning as much as possible to preserve your mental health at this vulnerable stage in your steps towards Freedom.
You’re not his mother anymore & your care is now only for YOU 💔❤️🩹♥️
Our brains seem programmed to remember the good. I reread my old journals and in doing that I am starting to realize the severity of the abuse and how long it went back....I spent years constantly thinking about how I should change/act to try and get this man to treat me as well as he treated his friends and siblings.
@@melindalemmon2149
I know how you feel… my bf… well I will say ex… is handsome… loves music … we both went out a-lot and enjoyed each others company… as soon as we get into a difference of opinion thats where things go crazy !!! Today we argued and he put his hands around my neck … and quickly caught himself… however the incident didn’t call for that response. Im in day 0 … I have to try and be strong. So I can relate to you
@@TheDaraghis why giving children lots of happy memories is important for future survival
Thank you. This is excellent and good timing for me. From Alabama
Glad it was helpful!
@ Dr. C, your videos have been a major source of help for me for the past 7 years.😎Thank you
Thank you, Lord, for answering my heart cry 😢 this is so hard. 19 years I dealt with this.
Excellent video.
Thanks, Doc! ❤️🩹☮️
That is exactly what most people do they point out the actions you did but cannot look at themselves. I learned from a therapist "focus on yourself" that was strong direction rather than concerning yourself with others work on your personal emotions about past events. I notice that when family or friends bring up a past event they struggle to look at their own actions. It can be very disturbing when they have no compassion about traumatic events and blame you instead of understanding the underlying emotions that were difficult. The bottom line is compassion is challenging for most people, they talk about it but actually having compassion takes inner strength. Compassion is considering how others feel, and caring for them, sensory awareness.
THANK YOU for your videos and especially this one. I don't say this lightly but seriously GOD got me out of a very toxic situation over a decade ago! 🙌🏼 There are times where I still find myself getting "triggered" by some of the stuff that he did & I honestly HATE it
I wish you the best!
I struggle to get the narcissist out of my mind because I ruminate on past interactions where I faced injustice, significant losses, and frustration due to their lack of empathy and understanding. Despite exhausting all attempts to communicate my thoughts and feelings and seeking assistance to improve our communication, I’ve had to agree to disagree. My mind incessantly revisits these scenarios, trying to reconcile the relationship for my part and theirs and piece things back together, leaving me angry, disappointed, and shocked by their lack of care.
I’ve tried meditating and acknowledging that it’s unhealthy to hold onto the hurt. I tell myself to be empathetic, to forgive, and to let go. Sometimes I find peace, but more often than not, when it’s time to sleep, these thoughts keep me awake and tense, affecting my heart, stomach, and overall health. I don’t know how to consistently find peace and let go of the pain that grips me.
This passage pertains to my mother, father, and my mother’s extended family. I have no communication with them now and fear losing the imagined happy and healthy relationship I wish we had. Being with them is more painful than being without them. It’s a lose-lose situation because I’m heartbroken whether I’m with them or without them. They don’t try to understand and expect me to accept their abusive behavior. While I have accepted who they are, I will not subject myself to their behavior.
I feel EXACTLY the same as what you described, with my sister. She is now on hospice care and her time is expected to be short. I was hoping she would want to reconcile, especially since she professes to be a Christian. I don't want to have to wonder for the rest of my life why she rejects me....and I want her to be able to stand before God with a pure heart. It's very difficult to listen to friends and family sing her praises (she IS wonderful...to them) when I know how cold and indifferent she is to me. I try very hard to forgive. Writing this down has helped me see that I'm probably projecting MY desire to stand before God with a pure heart onto her. That IS what I want, but I can't control her heart. I have to respect her free will to choose to do whatever she wants, and trust God regarding the consequences. I feel so hurt and so sad, and I even wonder if I should attend the funeral.
I miss when you did questions on Wednesday.. I miss going through each question..
As an Adult Child of Alcoholics/Narcissists I can relate to fear of authority figures.. The root of it for me is that I could not trust my authority figures..
What to do? I'm just bursting into sobs randomly.
In my opinion, intellectual analysis is useful---but it isn't enough. There needs to be some form of "emotional unwinding" technique to reprogram one's electrical system (so to speak). The abusive behavior which instigates the responses start so young, it gets hard-wired in. Mindful exercises and techniques must be out there that would help with this, surely.
Hi Dr. C, I hear a lot of people say extreme narcissism. Is there such a thing? At what point does the dark triads come into play? Thank you and Gus for sharing. Have a good weekend
Mother of alcoholic narcissistic daughter who clings to me like a tic and I can't let her drown ,I need to escape.
I'm so sorry 😢 Try to get some help & take good care of yourself. ❤
Thank you dear Lord, this is peace, my community
just ask peace 2022
Without the accurate description of Mom you recently gave, I'd be a lot more stuck. What she became later in life was blocking my recognition of her essence, visible in her youth.
Dr Carter,
I discovered Dr Ruth Cohn yesterday and mentioned her in chat.
Lishmah had the suggestion that perhaps you would do a collaborative video with Dr Cohn.
This is a wonderful idea. I hope you will consider it.
Hey Teresa, here I am. Trying to write from old pc because the other account on the phone is cutoff again from youtube comment sections 😑. Anyway, I've just listened to the video that went "viral" from Academy of Therapy Wisdom, the talk of dr Ruth summarizing her work on neglet-trauma... the "all about nothing"... the invisible children . In my opinion, that's a huge part of many upbringings by narcissistic parents and families. Meaning, not only they do active abusive actions or passive-aggressive actions, but many "narc systems" make us feel exactly like objects also by making us literally invisible / non existant when this attitude is more functional for them. I don't know the perspective of dr Ruth Cohn but definitely this point has something to do with serious narcissistic abuse.
And btw... as I already told you, you brought me to discover 2 doctors with the same name. And both these women did an amazing work in psychology field . And both of them have personal stories related (someway) to the topic we were dealing with in our chat with you and Roxy in the last hours. Just an incredible timing 🙂 . Thank you so much for telling me. I hope Roxy will read this too , because I think she can be very interested.... also in the work of the other dr Ruth Cohn (dead 2010 in Germany) who studied and worked in the US as well. Now, I'll try to send this message 🤔
@Franc-Italy Yes, Thank you. I had started listening to 'Trauma of Childhood Neglect Ruth Cohn interview about Course Too Much of Nothing Live Stream' EEGer and haven't been able to get back to complete the video.
Particularly found it interesting at 13:59. I remember after having my first child reading that the best gift I could give my daughter very early on was my smile. I was just amazed and she responded immediately. That might sound terribly simple but it was incredible to me that I had something to give and it was out of joy. Her well-being was so important I found strength in it and when I left that relationship I went on to university and took up psychology and child development.
I can't wait to look into all of this again. ✨️
@Franc-Italy ❤️🔥
Can you discuss the difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism?
OK, Dr. C., I see Mom's insecurity now. I can see it at the point where things really began to go haywire; and, it's likely that's what really drew me in. We're a family of fixers, both my immediate and my extended family. Ugh, what a mess. Fixers are good though.
01:18 Gus moved
What's Up Doc..........?
Parents...........
Olden days HAhahah.
And Yo........I was checking your Bicep Dude, are you working out?!?
I get the impression that I have to be adopted, the math is not math-ing.
Any Waaay.. I'm doing me and that's the jumble.
Thanx
C
What would you say about people who sit on the fence?
My sister still talks to my ex-narc friend after I told her how he emotionally abused me. Should I cut her off as well? or just go low contact? I feel like I can't trust her now, since she's still communicating with the enemy even after I showed her proof of how disgusting and vile that person is.
Dr. Carter, question: how do I get unbound from a marriage when I have been abandoned, no contact from my spouse. What is imprisoning me is breaking a promise to death do we part, remaining love, and quitting on what I think God wants me to do. ( Yet I am a good person deserving of love). I feel dumped on by grown daughter still at home and even my brothr has dumped our elderly Mom at my home, I just can't get a break to find freedom to enjoy life. I still work full-time and have a teen son to support (he has limited contact w his dad. I believe my husband has some real mental, narc issues.
I could not click fast enough.
I really wish to see a video about how a covert narcissist triangulates your family members against you. How they can create conflict and then make them believe they are the victim. With examples of phrases or situations they can use. Mine would create fights between me and my sister. Examples: I can’t believe she treats you that way, I was really upset by that. You should say something. I can’t believe after all we’ve done that she doesn’t put in any effort for us. I’m sorry your sister doesn’t care about you. That must hurt so much….She does that to me too, she’s so mean. I don’t know what to do about it. Oh she’s all crazy again (after he created the fight and pushed you into an emotional reaction) and I can’t talk to her, can you call her and calm her down? Thanks so much, please don’t tell her I called you, she will get mad at me…all while sympathizing with and validating us separately.
I wonder if the one parent watche's the other parentifying the child and does nothing. However, if one parent say's I used to be a bad parent, but now that I believe in God, I'm ok now.❤😂😂
Yea drugs dont mix, with lieing to me, big time, hec im already tripping,
Hi, have you encountered 2 narcisist arguing? Who will win?
No one.
Why do npd's believe that they're movie star's and take ask, what movie star do you want to be, choose the movie!
my nigga forsen
Thank you for showing your Canine Companion 🩵🐶💚
I have been having reoccurring nightmares involving my Narc ex husband for the last year or more.. they are extremely vivid and detailed and all seem to have the same theme.. I wake up re-traumatized every morning.. how can I make these nightmares stop?? 🥹
02:05 Gus moved
He's been known to move occasionally.
@@SurvivingNarcissism 😆