My Japanese boyfriend doesn't text me often. Is it cultural thing?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.ย. 2020
- ■ Join Santi's Community
- Learn Japanese from Santi (one on one session)
www.onedayjapan.com/japanesef...
- Personal Coaching Session with Santi
www.onedayjapan.com/pcap
- Santi Radio Apparel
suzuri.jp/santiradio
- Santi's Company: One Day Japan Inc.
www.onedayjapan.com/
=====
■About Santi
- Founder, One Day Japan Inc.
- TH-camr: Japanese man Santi's Radio, Tokyo Class
- Trinity College Dublin MBA
- Business Consultant (Cross-cultural communication)
- Lecturer for Corporations and Universities
Santi has served as a business consultant and corporate lecturer for major companies. His area of expertise lies in cross-cultural communication between Japanese individuals and foreigners. His primary clients include Japanese expatriates preparing to live overseas and foreign workers employed at Japanese corporations.
#japaneseculture #japaneselanguage #japaneselanguageschool - บันเทิง
When you are in love with someone you want to talk to them at least once everyday. I find it hard to believe it healthy to be content with ignoring someone you supposedly love for days with modern access to instant messaging.
you just feel at the beginning like that, but you get used to it.
I have this problem with most Japanese friends I have. Even when they text first and I reply almost right away, it still takes them hours or days to text back and I find that very rude...
I agree. Is it something like their culture?
I’ve been talking to a guy who used to reply immediately then after a month of talking, he said it’s tiring to reply immediately. He is managing a business. He even said that he will turn off his phone because I accidentally dialed his line. I felt offended. It’s better to say “Im busy now” but he even said that smartphones make life inefficient.
Im surprised with his actions these past few weeks. Better he not said he likes and loves me. I mean we dont see each other, we only get to talk through to phone and chat.
But I invested too much time talking to him. So he does. I know it’s hard for him to google translate while talking on the phone. The fact that he is near 50’s 😅
Yes, western culture and countries heavily influenced by western culture are very straightforward. It’s gonna be a cultural difference thing when it comes to falling in love with a Japanese man. 難しいねー。
If you’re looking for loyalty and attention, don’t really get a Japanese man. I think Japanese men’s love language is giving gifts. So independent and capable women will not really look after it. Westerners and some asians are multitaskers
@@meetricia Yeah I think it's their culture... But I still don't understand how just texting back something short like "I'm busy right now, will reply later" is so difficult for them. Ok fine they're busy, they want to live their lives, etc but that does not mean they can be rude to other people. Or they don't think that's rude at all? Idk...
I don't want to be rude but I realized that Japanese people always want to make themselves busy or look/sound busy and they really enjoy that feeling. So even when they're free, most people would still make excuses not to reply to messages lol
And I'm just talking about friends in general here, not necessarily romantic relationships (and FYI most of my friends are in their 20s-30s). But still, because of their on-and-off behaviours, sometimes I feel like we're best friends and sometimes just strangers, which is super frustrating -.-
@@tr_thealien I agree. I gave up with the person I like. I like him but it’s torturing to deal with that kind of behavior. Only sees and talks to you when it’s convenient for them. It’s not that hard to reply. Haha
I even had this problem with boyfriend lol he just stopped replying without a reason and gone away and his last message was how he was interested in me. Ridiculous
this is true.. i have a friend that is in a relationship with a japanese.. they indeed prefer face to face convo than phone. and they are focused people if they want a certain dream they will reach for it. but it does not mean they do not love those people they love. they just have priorities.
I can relate to this, but I also know how busy he is. He's 34 and is a writer/editor/content creator and also produces music outside of work. I've seen him work and it's crazy. 😅 He's also said to me he's the type who can't express himself well in words, so he shows it in other ways (matching hair colours/items, or makes music in genres I like). But it does get frustrating sometimes because of the difference in cultural understanding. I'm looking forward to when international borders open so we can finally see each other again.
literally i met this guy here in japan. his friends told me he’s crazy about me and talks about me often but when we text, i reply maybe like 30 minutes after but he reply’s like a WHOLE DAY after and it drives me INSANE. i don’t want to sound weird and be like “um why does it take you forever to reply” because it could just be a japanese thing but as an American, i still have my own culture that i’m used to and i find it rude :/
I started a relationship with a Japanese guy recently and it's the same thing for me cept I don't know if he talks bout me often to his friends like yours did😢 he texts me tells me he loves me misses me but doesn't really reply fast or tells me he wants to call or Facetalk first
I had a Japanese boyfriend too we were just started flirting and met last month online (not met each other yet) But he saw my face from video and he was always saying I’m soo beautiful
Even our last talking were so nice (last Friday) but suddenly he stopped talking and never replying my messages. I really don’t know what to do… Is it me who is guilty or Japanese men don’t take Western women seriously?
Santi is correct,. My husband does call when he gets to work, and when he getting off from work. when you love someone everything is worth it. every move is worth it to me, possibility BF either have someone or may not love you enough. If he really loves you he will make time for you..
having texts unreplied or them dragging on replies is one thing, but what annoyed me is when they do that but still manage to watch my instagram story during what’s supposed to be their "busy time". i have compromised on these men being busy a lot that i am now built to just live my life without looking for them, but when they do the aforementioned i just wanna flip off because if you have time to open instagram, why not your LINE!! happened to me twice already 😤
Thank you for this video,so others could understand japanese culture about relationship.
I'm liking your channel now... and you as well because of your explanations about Japanese culture. Cheers!
Not having to text 24/7 is why I think healtiest relationship I have ever had is with a Japanese man. (Still going strong). I am a Turkish woman who is a software engineer in a major company and I am extremely busy with my schedule most days with wanting to have some personal time in few hours I get to have to myself, people constantly texting or wanting to meet up etc has always worn me off so much because of that (in Turkey as well) because I don’t want my already very little free time to be stolen for more human interraction. In Turkey, if you turn off status screen or if you don’t reapond in like 2 seconds, some people create fights out of that even if its the second day of flirting or getting to know eachother, it freaks me out and wears me off even before anything turned serious.
Never became an issue in Japan, I get the people of this country I think.
Face to face communication is just faster and more fun really, it feels much less like a chore to me.
I respond immediately if he texts in Turkish for me using Japanese emoticons though, that for some reason is just so funny and cute to me lol so he does it when he wants to cheer me up.
We generally text about the meeting locations though lol. Like which station and what time etc.
Your expressions are very close to filipino expressions 😁 really enjoyed watching this. Realistically, it's not only Japanese men are doing this. Well... filipinos are not ignorant to this, there are those who are doing worst like "Ghosting" 😁😁😁
You make a really good point. Regardless of the reason for the infrequency, she has to decide if that is enough for her b/c--whatever the reason--he is not likely to change his communication style. It took me many years to learn that. One has to accept (or not) how someone is rather than hope for change (ultimately, I think).
Communication is definitely something I'd recommend most Japanese people improve on. I see this all the time when I ask them a question while they're doing something they can't talk and concentrate on something else. It's something you can adapt and improve on! I see this as one of the reasons romance is pretty dead here in Japan compared to Western countries. Don't get me started on that though
I don’t think it’s their lack of ability. Ignorance is their cultural choice I think. And mostly of them don’t care about people’s feelings (sad but true) especially they don’t take foreigners seriously.
Hello Santi-san😊 i really love watching your videos and i like your advices too☺ all the videos i watched, this is the videos that i really like the most because i can relate this videos with my (japanese bf) 😁 and now i'll keep all your advices in my mind😘 arigatou guzaimasu santi-san.
I really enjoyed this video 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👍👍
The pros and cons of having an LDR (long-distance relationship) I had been in that situation, a year and a half ago to a middle eastern guy, but it really didn't work. But well, that's what meant to happen. And now I'm doing fine somehow without any relationship, I just want to prioritize first my dream before having it again😊. I don't want to make things in a hurry for now😂
Story of my previous relationship with a Japanese guy. We never communicated. Had weekend day-long dates, but never spoke on the phone. It was very frustrating. He still keeps in touch but I knew it wasn't going to work out. I am Latina (Peruvian). He lives here in the US and still struggles with dating.
i'm filipino and i have japanese boyfriend we actually met by online app i'm glad that he always text me and chat me everyday 🥰
2024 Latest Santi's Video →Santi's Seminar #2 : How to Understand Japanese men and women th-cam.com/video/n6Gkz7PqXiA/w-d-xo.html
Oh god. I'm so lucky that my Japanese friend and crush always replies to me everyday. I've watched some of your videos, Santi and you mentioned that college students in Japan are not so serious when it comes to relationships but I think I'm quite lucky with the guy I'm talking to online right now. We're both college students and is still in this so called "situationship" since we've only known each other for only 2 months (and hopefully still counting) plus he just recently got out of a committed relationship 4 months ago so even though we both confessed that we like each other, I know for sure that he's not ready yet because of those two main reasons plus the fact that he's honest enough to tell me that he's not ready for an LDR since that's also the same reason why he broke up with his last ex-girlfriend. Not only that but my friend is also 2 years older than me. He's currently a third year and has a lot of things in his plate right now. He got 3 part time jobs, internship but still taking good care of his body by going to gym everyday. Then right now, he's also busy with job hunting too and yet, he would still message me everyday and not just the literal 2 messages of just "good morning" or "good night" but also he would literally even ask me how am I during that day or what I'm doing. He would sometimes even update me that he's in university or he's currently doing workouts. He also would sometimes say "I'm home" after going to gym, university or internship. He even would go as far telling me if he's watching netflix or that he just got out of a shower, is eating or napping. Even sometimes telling me that he's about to do his part time job too. He would literally update me every free time he got in his life and I'm so glad that he's like that because I feel like he really does care about me and is putting effort to communicate with me daily. Although, I sometimes wish that we could at least video call so that I can talk to him face to face but, I'm perfectly fine with the way things are right now. Just knowing that he's making the efforts to make time with me everyday even though we're only just friends is enough because I know how hard working my guy is towards building his career and I'm there to fully support him
Scrolling through google looking for an answer why my Japanese crush just read my messages (and I gave him a question too in my messages )and then I found this video! He always gives me good signals about our relationship (even tho we aren’t dating yet, but I hope soon hahaha). He sent me some pictures when he went to a trip to Hiroshima, always telling me what he do during the day and what is his plans for tomorrow, and some other good things. Last night he said that he will go to Hokkaido today because he will do a baito there for a month and he will send pics. I responded it and put a question also but he just read it until now, no replies yet. I’m afraid at first, “ah here we go again. Another failure with another japanese guy” i thought. I’m trying to be positive and think that he is still busy or maybe still in the way t Hokkaido, but my negative mind is just too strong😅 then I found this and thank you for this video my mind starting to be calm and more positive 😬 I think it’s right that long distance relationship is all about trust hoho.
You are pretty good as an agony uncle! Perhaps this may be an idea for a weekly format 🙃
Your English is very good
My Japanese boyfriend and I are your followers, Santi-san. Just a moment ago, we watched this video together on messenger using share screen. I asked his opinion about this and he agreed with you. We don't have problems in communication because he always gives time for me in the morning and before we go to bed, we do video calls no matter how busy and tired he is from work. BTW, we are in an LDR too. My guess is that maybe her boyfriend is busy with someone else (but I hope not) or busy with his studies and part time jobs. But if her boyfriend cares about her, sending messages twice a day, in the morning and before bed is easy.
I also agree with you, she has to ask him and open up with her feelings. No need to worry about her boyfriend's response. At least, she will be able to get an answer.
How did you get your boyfriend?
Hello, we parted ways already for a very important reason. Anyway, he was my student 3 years ago. 😊@@aya_desu57
@@mariahappiness9180 Hi, sorry to ask, but why po nagbreakup? Friends pa rin po ba kayo? May hope pa rin po ba na magkabalikan?
@@alexd8243 because we are in an LDR, he got married na this month and I am engaged and will get married also this year.
We broke up on good terms. And I decided not to retain our friendship, so he can find someone else there who is near, and yes he found one. And I am happy for him. 😊
That's very sad 😌
You said well santi san!
Hey 👋 Santi I have a crush on my classmate but it’s always me to text him first and we don’t talk that much in the class . What should I do so that he talks to me and texts me first sometimes.I will be glad if you reply thanks 🙏😊
Yup man your correct 😊
I find this to be very common among Japanese men (I lived in Japan for 5 years). Doesn't matter if they were friends or more than friends, with the exception of one really serious relationship (that guy to this day still replies at least within the same day). It is NOT common however among Japanese women. Every Japanese female friend I have responds not only same day, but pretty much immediately.
Love doc mr santi-chan
Thanks Cheese!
Do you know what really love is and the word like? There's a big difference between that two words.
LOVE IS AFFECTION AND LIKE IS JUST LIKE NO MEANING IN OTHER WORDS SELFISHNESS 🤨🙂
Love guro! Cultural difference/s is hard..😭😭😭😭
Thank you!!! 🤗 will definitely talk with him - Btw I’m 18, he’s 23
😁👍
Same✌✌
Bless you for taking the time to sit down and give us advice on japanese men- as its a complete different world and there's do's and don'ts (which I love), in England it's just a "wing it" attitudes🤦♀️, my mother is Indian but I am whiter than most English people the type of white that struggles to find a white enough foundation 😭 my mother has beautiful darker skin and my father is incredibly white - (so I was already raised with two cultures and I know 3/4 languages like Greek, Spanish and of course Indian with some French) I want to learn Korean before I even think of going there! Anyways I have always, and I mean ALWAYS! ever since I liked guys I only liked Korean men (my first partner was a Korean/ English "boyfriend" in primary school till he moved away) I do Not like English men as partners because they don't respect people older than them they wouldn't usually take care of their own parents/family (send them to care homes) and they have no respect in general! We have no Culter to celebrate and they don't believe in spirits or ancestors!! And wouldn't show respect to them anyway!! I want my child to have something they can be proud of and to be part of a beautiful race! With so much to learn from them! I won't to give my child an understanding of respect to there elders and to always bow in instead of just saying thank you (I think everyone should bow its the most genuine way of saying thank you, sorry, hello and goodbye) also no matter what I do or say to your people I will never be one of them but my child would be!! And he/she has the choice to live there, Indian or England! God I wish I had the actual choice so if I can't, my child will have everything I couldn't have! Oh thank you for reading this if you got this far 🥰 anwyay thank you for using your time to help us 🙏❤ you are amazing!! I am for ever a subscribers!
I think this video answer my question as to shy Japanese, okay thanks, although he is not my boyfriend, thanks 😉
Hi santi yeahhhh i had experience japanese friend he is very rare to message me unless its something happened or important matter but kind of message regularly no. i think they aren’t fond of messaging or texting they don’t have time.? and he always said he is very busy to his work ..but i’m curious about is the japanese aren’t sweet or affectionate .?
Or they just feel shy ..?
Yes, I'm confused too
Youre so cuuuuuteeee
I met a Japanese guy and dated (friendly date) when he's here. He chose Manila to study English to meet me. I like him but I maintained a friendly distance when he's here. I felt that he liked me too. He mentioned that he'll visit again before we depart but COVID happened so neither of us can get out of our country. But when he returned to Japan he didn't message me. He mentioned he was busy with work and I believe him. We sometimes chat but mostly I'm the one initiating it and it's just 1 message, 1 reply. I'm now used to it and I'm not that hopeful anymore that we can be more than friends. I'm 32 and he's 46. :D
Just forget about the japanese he didnt have interest on you i think👍
be careful maybe he is a married guy. so better check before fall in love so no problem in the fuure😁👍
Hello may I talk to you about my relationship? I’m dating a Japanese guy now but I really need advice I’m really confused :/ how can we reach you if we have any questions?
here, unless you want to buy my time (see descriptions of videos)
Just ask him directly
Wising you have a happy life with him 😘
Hahahaha you’re funny 😆 😂 your sarcastic comments 🤣
Nice 🙂
That’s difficult not talking to parents for a year? That is. No no.. for me ...
you are right ! Maybe that guy has someone already... move on
That's pretty darned charming in a youthful innocent way: Asking a girl's parents for their blessing before a relationship. When I was in Uni I was having so much fun partying and smashing *ss I would have never thought of asking a girls parents for approval before I started a love relationship with their daughter. Back then I useto call my mum and dad once a month or so just to ask them how they are doing. In Nisei culture you never say "I love you" to your relatives. You say that in code. For example I would on those phone calls ask if they needed anything or wanted me to do anything for them. That was code for I love you. I also do not like talking on a phones for very long. By the time sansei and yonsei and come around all that disappears and it becomes alot more American.
He said its his habit to reply someone message for days, cuz he is not into phone, dunno
I'm so lucky my boyfriend call me everyday he always videocall me for hours after his work until he fell asleep
You are funny ~
I don’t know why I’m here I don’t have a Japanese boyfriend, but I watched the whole video.
Please what does it mean . He txt See you in the future 😩😩 please. Haven't see him in months . My bad 😔
Just started dating a guy for so far 3 dates. But, so far, he hasn’t been asking me out. I kept trying to ask him why he’s slow to respond and he keeps saying he’s “busy with work. It’s not that I’m ignoring you.” I also asked him, “do you want a serious relationship?” and he goes, “yup”. Note, he works at home. This one time, I thought we were going to have plans but he never even asked me out.
Update on this, it’s still happening. I was also concerned about certain things and I needed to ask his help. But, he doesn’t even respond on the weekends. Can someone please help me out with this for how I can get him to see me as a priority? I have a very deep feeling that he only cares more about his friends and work than does he care about me. He suggests future plans to see me at my home but, I don’t know if he feels the same. He seems to treat me as less of a priority regarding texting when I have something important to say. I cannot be waiting like this for over 6 hours for him to reply on the weekends. He responded to everything on a Saturday but nothing on a Sunday. Thank you for liking my comment. But, if possible, I would like a response back. Thank you very much. There’s no need to make a video about this. I’d rather keep this private and only in the comment section.
To note: I am sorry my message is so long.
Maybe he means he want a serious relationship with other girl and he lose interest in you. He just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so he was pretending that he is not ignoring you.
Just move on and be yourself. No pressures to be someone else to attract him. If he really like you then he would ask you out for a relationship. You can try ask him about being your boyfriend.
Maybe I am late in giving you advice, I’ve dated several Japanese men, all of them with different personalities, one thing in common: work. But what I’ve learned so far is first: You need to think about their actions as their own, not a cultural thing, I’m not saying it’s not but just to think of their actions as unique; then you have two options: 1) be direct, tell him what you do think about his actions or 2) just accept it’s not meant to be. i know it’s hard to understand when we are so into one person, but sometimes is just not right for you and you need to accept it. Telling you from past experiences that hurt a lot. Now if you asked him about being in a serious relationship but wasn’t clear if that relationship was with you then, you already have your answer.
Also, his age is 23 and I’m 21.
Is it normal just texting in LINE with Japanese man, ...... i feel like a hidden girlfriend, no social media no phone number?
But he has 3 Phone 2 laptops 😐
😂😂😂 sometimes i complain cause he doesn't reply me until a week or more over a week... And he always explain he is so busy, so many works 😭😭, but sometimes i overthinking he cheating there... I hope its not true.. communication is very important in relationships to know deeper each other right?
I will answer on Live tonight! Please watch that! ^^ cheers
@@japaneseman ook thanks 🥰🙏
no wonder why he dosent reply to the memes i sent him......
I LIKE YA CUT G
I would love to met Japanese woman 😁
Santi san ! My japanese crush told me he likes me too. A day before he went back to japan.. there is no clear. He just said byeee.... he doesn't want to give me his line number... so i am not sure if he really likes me
Santi san ! He block me on viber after coming back to japan.. why the hell is that happening..is that a japanese thing? After saying i like you..then he said he wont forget me... but now he doesnt seem he will contact me ....he said goodbye already. Why the heck is that!!!
he lied to u clearly
if i choose to date some one i probably find a japanese man 😂😂😂😂yooo...
I kinda thought some japanese men are avoidant attachment style...