“And your descendants shall be simps” Sayeth the Lord your God “And upon them, I shalt inflict punishment for arguing over which chipmunk gets the most head!”
not even joking there's a bible thats written in a minecraft style, there's the action bible, there's probably an anime bible too. Bible stores are hard core
"All because he hit a rock with a stick?" It wasn't even that. God told him to hit the rock with the stick three times so water would come out. When he hit the rock three times, no water came out. So he hit it again, I guess assuming he'd fucked up hitting the rock one of the other times. The water came out, but god was angry because moses didn't do what he said.
Blackrain7070 think its 6 days straight if you dont sleep. so if they get around 12 hrs of sleep it would be 12 days. and you have old people and babies to take care of in like a group of hundreds. but for 40 years?
I was raised as an Orthodox Jew (Shemot was my parsha so I read up a lot on the Exodus...) Watching this film was kind of cringey but Charlie made it a lot funnier at least
@@disparatebroom7705 lol no kidding man haha were you as disappointed to find out that the book of bay blade wasn't made cannon during the Nicaean creed?
@@hunterofdarkness8329 Satan has no power without God allowing him, in the end of time God will eliminate Satan's grip on his chosen ones, the ones who are true christians.
By the way, in reality, most of the workers were not slaves, but well paid farmers who were working during the time when the corps were already harvested, and the time to plant new ones din't come yet.
Mike Zotov they were well paid farmers beaten by their masters. Exodus - 21:20-21 “Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property.”
@@ineedabetterpfp2485 But you gotta love the fact that the Bible isn't going against slavery and even saying that it's okay to physically harm someone in the name of God.
The Tower of Babel was a bit different. They tried to make a giant tower cause they wanted to get to heaven using cheat mode so God just kinda said no.
Oh god we watched this in school back then Our teacher accidentally played Prince of Egypt at first so everyone was like "Ok this is cool," but after a few minutes he said "wait no wrong movie" and switched to this.
I genuinely struggle to imagine anyone surpassing Prince of Egypt in terms of visuals or storytelling. Hell, I have trouble understanding why people even bother making new ones. Were there really people working on this project that either didn't see Prince of Egypt or thought to themselves, "Yeah, alright, but I think I can do ya one better?"
I just wanna throw it out there, being an Egyptian deity myself, that I wasn't cool with any of that shit pharaoh was doing. He was being a total chode. Me and Jehovah are bros now. He comes over on Sundays to play poker with me and Ra. Allah shows up too sometimes, but he doesn't play much, just sits in the corner smoking weed and playing gamecube. He's pretty chill though.
@Wail Pal21hail Endorsement? The babies from the daoughters' pregnancies were the Ammon and Moav, the ancestors of the nations of Ammon and Moav, which were the bad guys. I don't think it's endorsing anything about incest
@@wafers4595 It was in my school library back in secondary school. Probably the coolest portrayal of biblical characters that I have ever seen. Somehow, they managed to make Jesus Christ look like an absolute chad.
If I remember correctly, Moses doesn't actually die. He's just taken to heaven. He's supposed to be one of two witnesses that come back for Revelation. The bible would make an epic movie arc tbh.
@@holdencole5740 Enoch was picked up in a chariot of fire, avoiding death. I don't think the Bible really mentions him after that. Like, no real part in the grand plan of the universe but he got some chapters for being a good egg.
Holden Cole That is actually really vague. All the Bible has to say about Enoch is that he lived 365 years and walked with God. It is assumed that his lack of being mentioned of having died implies he got the same treatment as Elijah did but that is left to speculation. The Ethiopian Bible contains the Book of Enoch which is essentially a prequel to the Noah story but scholarly opinion is divided on whether it is as old as the rest of Genesis or whether it was essentially fanfiction.
"Aww man, what are you afraid of?" "Um, the wrath of the guy that we literally saw split an entire sea in half the other day, and then re-seal it to wipe out an entire army in an instant? That's what we're afraid of."
@@conanrose1182 Guess Satan must be pretty damn special too then, since God is willing to give him the power to basically fuck with all of humankind as long as its existed lmao
Young City Bandit and? Why would a god allow such an act who’s supposed to be all loving kind of narcissistic to allow your followers to kill anyone just because they follow isn’t it, what a fucking joke imo
Here let me blow your mind. Everything God had abraham do to his son was a representation of what he was gonna do for the world through his son Yeshua.
The Bible is surprisingly badass. Especially once you get to the part where Jesus' body parts get scattered across America and a guy makes bees explode.
I love how every bible movie has all white characters..........in the Middle East. Edit: I’m not being a blm shill calm down. I just find it a funny trope
Egypt was mostly Greek during this time. Alexander the Great's empire collapsed after his death, and many independent nations rose up in it's place. Edit: I understand looking through the rest of the replies to see if I said anything else is annoying. So I'm putting this here. The events of this story in the Bible take place before Alexander the Great's time. You can stop correcting me now.
As pointed out, the Tower of Babel bit Pen mentioned was wrong. Well, some of it. God didn't make the tower, the people did, and they did it to prove that they can reach heaven and were better than God. God told them to go different ways and populate the earth and they didn't do that, then he sees them making a tower to try and prove their better than him, so he confuses the language of the people. This resulted in them going different ways because what good does living in a city where not a single soul understands you and you being unable to understand them? After they scattered from the city, God destroyed the tower. Basically it.
the wrong description of the tower made me laugh though. Massive tower pops out of the ground spontaneously and then starts emitting language-altering electromagnetic waves or some shit
@@therealgeneralMacArthur nah its more than that because everything in this world is “gods plan” so all deaths that have ever happened are under his name
Tatu Juntunen why would he? He knew that people would follow him no matter what, and if people stop worshiping him he would just kill all of them like the great flood. At this point I’m pretty sure god is just fucking with us bc he can, not bc it’s the right thing to do
@@biscuit4705 He is a loving God, given us free will and even told Adam and Eve to not eat the Tree of Life but didn't listen and look where it got us, God is giving us a chance to be turn away from our sinful lives and towards Christ who has died for our sins to gain a chance in Heaven, if he wanted to control all of us then He should've made robots then.
7:00 They supposed survived off of what they called "mana" In modern day, scientists think it was a type of algae (we can live an entire life off algae alone) and with some speculation that it may have produced a hallucinogenic chemical in the algae. Which also explains why they spent 40 years on a journey that should have finished in 1 year.
Except it says mana is bread. explicitly. This is like how scientists try to explain away all the other stuff in the bible. Take something the bible describes specifically and just make up their own explanation to fit what they think is the only thing possible. They will never take into consideration it could just be telling the truth. That alone makes these "scientists" nonscientific because they have a clear bias already
@@TheLastApostle yeah and dont forget all the made up rules that the government made up to control people. Since no one but the church could read Latin so they could make up anything.
look mans, i came here for a family friendly discussion on people tripping balls in the desert, but now i gotta read people talking abut scientists and the government because some guy mentioned eating some sick ass algae.
How come no one talk about how an entire tribe of Israel gang raped the wife of a member from the priest class. She legit got up walked in the door and died after.
@@enricopucci7205 he literally hardened pharaohs heart when moses was coming over to ask him to let his people go god was out for blood he didnt give a shit about his people
God: *Frees the Hebrews from Egypt* Also God: *Sends the Hebrews to wander the desert for 40 years, killing the rest of the generation that he saved from Egypt*
@loliquatsch here's the thing right? no God = no one can accomplish anything worth accomplishing. there can't be more than one God (since God is perfect and two perfect beings share goals you can consider them both one God). therefore, if we matter there is one God. (since our existence mattering depends on whether we can accomplish something worth accomplishing) if we don't matter then, for the same reasons, truth doesn't matter and you may as well believe in a God anyway. therefore denying monotheism is the only silly thing a person can do. All of that to say, it doesn't matter whether or not God has proved or will prove his (i use that pronoun loosely) existence, it is worth believing in him regardless. Note: I'll elaborate on the one point a casual reader may disagree with. Our existence mattering. basically, whether or not you are good, bad, wise, foolish, knowledgeable, idiotic, hard-working, lazy, prideful, humble, etc. the end of the universe will be the same. you will die, your friends will die, all memories of you and yours will disappear one day when everything ends. Your actions produce no difference, thus your existence does not matter. All of that is presuming there is no God/afterlife etc. Clearly, the existence of a God/afterlife brings meaning and impact to your decisions. therefore, i restate my conclusion that not believing in monotheism of some sort is the only silly choice you can make.
@@thejedisonic67 God was having then roam around the desert as a prank. Egypt wasn't that far from Jerusalem and he was just fucking with them until they started panicking. Epic prankster God.
@@brici7164 i'll make sure its twenty minutes or more, i have a massive sigh at the start and i cry all the way through whilst making it worse, crying and being a hypocrite.
Dude, I need some tips for playing Goliath. I’m trying to get past this part where I fight David and it’s supposed to be an easy boss fight, but I take 999 damage when I get hit by a rock. Is this a glitch?
Do u complete the game? Im playing as king david in part 5 where u can choose to kill a woman husband and fuck her or just remain still whatever i choose its always the one where u fuck her and kill her husband i read the game walkthrough in church and it said that the canon one is to fuck her but i dont want king david to have sin so i choose the other one but somehow my king david always fuck her and get sinned pls help is this happen to everyone?
@@adamplentl5588 i dunno, being the first book to document bacteria, ice age, the fact that matter itself shouldnt exist, and did and still is making and fullfilling prophecies. Its scary how accurate its actually coming around, i remember when i said that pedophilia and beastiality would never be legal or supported. Boi was i wrong....
@@reddyforlenny9389 " i remember when i said that pedophilia and beastiality would never be legal or supported. Boi was i wrong...." 'member when God nuked Sodom and Gomorrah?
The people built the tower of babylon trying to reach heaven, but then god looked down upon them and scrambled their languages, being forced to spread out. but you're right about Beyblade, that was 100% accurate
"hey! Remember that scene in the dreamworks version where the sea parted and it was tense and breathtaking? Well, here's 2 ugly whales and a turtle, hope you like it!"
I like how Charlie actually has a really good understanding of all of it and isn’t just like those other youtubers who’d be like “yeah this never happened”
@Mermaids love dick The bible is metaphorical, myths have been used in several societies to convey the deeper truths without the expectance that they necessarily actually happened. It’s not religion’s fault that people are illiterate and disconnected from the meaning of the tradition of mythology, people act elitist and in their own hubris against religion because they have no ideas what those stories mean or what they are there for.
But he did actually enter heaven. God only forgives you if you are sorry for what you did, you will try to never do it again and you ask for forgiveness. Anyways, bye.
He went to heaven he wasn’t aloud into the holy land though in Israel when he died he went to heaven but wasn’t aloud in the holy land as he shouldn’t have whacked the rock when he need to give it a nice rub and give it a good speech so it could let all of its water out like a good rock
@@Fostermoving54 it was him just doing it out of wrath and anger. Moses was tired of everyone's bitching for water since it was only supposed to be a 4 day trip.
The most intense bible chapter is when the veggies start talking.
Cain was the Bible's first vegetarian.
That spooksmcgee guy is hella annoying and I’d bet my left nut that his music is fucking garbage
@@YoungAlienBoy this has nothing to do with the comment
@@Theotherguy963 it was and dont watch unless you want an extra chromosome.
@@YoungAlienBoy WTF was that
“Jesus Christ” no Charlie he’s in the sequel
Spoiler alert: He dies.
@@exponent2316 Spoiler alert: He dies twice.
@@Alex-mc7qj Like Avdol?
@@_chew_ no, like stroheim
@@cedrick25 I thought only shadows died twice
and God said unto his people:
*"Lol."*
I love the way he says it or the world dies lmao
"Thou was cringey" the lord said to his people.
that's actually accurate from wxhat i've read in the manga
And God sent the wicked and guilty into his cringe comp
Dont mock god
mosses was tech genius, he was the first man to download files from the cloud on a tablet...
Yeah, Noses is my favourite Bible character in the Old Testament
@@affinityxs idk man, Samson was pretty sick as well
@@charliehigginson7990 yeah ngl he's pretty good too. Even David was pretty dope
@Sherlock Whole mess that's the joke, cos the person who sent this comment misspelled Moses as mosses, so I thought I might play along with it
@@charliehigginson7990 dunno man, I think Genesis is the best.
"Lol cringe" The lord said to his people
"Let there be big chungus"-god
"And for my final blight upon Egypt" said the Lord "I shall cancel every egyptian firstborn, and that's on me. Periodt"
he left because we were all too cringe for him to handle
“And your descendants shall be simps” Sayeth the Lord your God “And upon them, I shalt inflict punishment for arguing over which chipmunk gets the most head!”
Thats what he is probably saying now lol
“It’s been a while since I read the manga, but the Bible is hardcore”
Does he need to say anything else?
Sanity Thief wait i thought the bible is the manga
The Old Testament was the webcomic and the New one was the manga
not even joking there's a bible thats written in a minecraft style, there's the action bible, there's probably an anime bible too. Bible stores are hard core
Castlehair there are manga versions of the bible
@@castlehair Wait, in all seriousness, is there a Bible made into a manga?!
The entire movie looks like an Age Of Empires cutscene
That's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time...
Wololo
Still a dozen time better than Joshua and the promised land.
@@J0hnHenrySNEEDen wololo to you my fellow aoe player
Age of Mythology is still the best AoE game
"All because he hit a rock with a stick?"
It wasn't even that. God told him to hit the rock with the stick three times so water would come out. When he hit the rock three times, no water came out. So he hit it again, I guess assuming he'd fucked up hitting the rock one of the other times. The water came out, but god was angry because moses didn't do what he said.
Old Testament God couldn't take a G-check
Moses officially stole the idea from god
@@hotpikachu Moses fucking reposted for karma
@@epicm999 he didnt credit
Because moses doubted Gods abilities and arrogantly hit the rock three times
The town they live in looks like a battlefield 1 map
Nice hollow knight profile pick
Sinai Dessert and Suez Canal
How does this shit look worse than toy story which came out almost 15 years earlier
I was totally gonna say that lol.
@NagMan32 The soldiers are leaving the town thinking: "Yeah, we have this," but then they hear, "Enemy armoured train is en route."
It takes 6 days to walk from ciaro to Jerusalem. All those people wandering the desert for 40 years were crazy lost
Blackrain7070 think its 6 days straight if you dont sleep. so if they get around 12 hrs of sleep it would be 12 days. and you have old people and babies to take care of in like a group of hundreds. but for 40 years?
Lord KaBlamo yeah the Bible retcons itself
it was enough time for people travel from china to jerusalem.
loliquatsch True, but definitely not 40 years more difficult.
Oh shiiiiiit
As an orthodox jew, I can confirm that Moses did in fact use a bayblade.
Now THAT is a religion I would follow!
I ain't hearing no Jesus denier. We all know he used his chad super powers
I was raised as an Orthodox Jew (Shemot was my parsha so I read up a lot on the Exodus...)
Watching this film was kind of cringey but Charlie made it a lot funnier at least
Ye olde beyblade, let thou RIP!
Surrender to Krishna you jew
The Manga: **the bible**
The anime: **The Prophet**
The Netflix Adaptation:
God : "Whaddup pranksters, today we have an absolute banger of a video"
"Smash that like button like the nun helped 5 priests to smash deaf children! #ChristianitySquadGoals"
Oh god, what if God is actually the biggest douchetuber ever?
Dont think i put that in the bible but i approve.
@Wagon Master Reptiles.
Lots, and lots, of reptiles.
Time to SMITE that like button!
Moses: *hits a rock*
God: That wasn't very cash money of you, friendo.
Hits a rock *twice
This needs more likes
*Uses ZA HANDO on the Rock instead*
Now you gotta go to hell with Hitler sorry bud
@@bendercats9599 I found a fellow S T A N D O user
i left my youtube on one night while i was going to sleep and I woke up at like 4 in the morning and this shit was playing
That’s an accomplishment
This is why you turn off autoplay
@@samt3412 thats why you *dont*
Its a sign. God wanted you to find penquinz. Feel blessed
It's a sign of God
Penguinz0: “The Bible is hardcore.”
Me a Christian: “ *Yes* .”
Well the likes count is perfect.
“That’s a lame god... it’s a cow with a big magnifying glass?”
Me a pagan: honestly not even the weirdest concept I’ve heard of
Me as an atheist: “meh”
Haha, we’re friends ❤️
Me a catholic: god damn grandma wasn’t kidding when she was reading me the Bible
@@disparatebroom7705 lol no kidding man haha were you as disappointed to find out that the book of bay blade wasn't made cannon during the Nicaean creed?
“Here comes the genocide”
- a quick summary of the Old Testament
@loliquatsch too bad they ended up getting a taste of their own medicine
@@dilestvegenerate5294 lol
As a Christian, I'll say this:
*you're not wrong*
And don't forget the stones... so many stones...
@@annaalexandra8715 If God can essentially nuke a city from just farting on it, I'll do whatever the fuck he wants.
God was the super active admin in chat before he got demoted and left the server
This is best comment I ever saw on youtube.
God: okay see you tomorrow
Satan: Ok
One eternity later...
Satan:...welp, time to spread some demons
@@hunterofdarkness8329 Satan has no power without God allowing him, in the end of time God will eliminate Satan's grip on his chosen ones, the ones who are true christians.
Sounds like me.
God: aight bro ill see you tomorrow
Humanity: aight see you man
*last online centuries ago*
"It's been a while since I've read the manga, but goddamn the bible is nuts!"
manga bible would be dope
@@vlmpapc ikr?
@@AzumarillConGafasBv it exists
@@9051team Oh my god it does.
@@asnailwithpizza9724 I have a comic version of the Bible and damn every frame looks like something out of a Rated R DC Graphic Novel
And thus the lord our God said unto Moses
*”Lmao get pranked noob”*
And the lord speaketh upon the peoples, “haha lol, it was just a prank bro get over it”
"Take a joke nerd"
"GET DUNKED ON!
LMAOOOO HE ALMOST WENT THROUGH WITH IT! HAHAHA"
Jesus Christ is king ✝️🙏😊
@@3z3Oamen 🙏
"mom I want prince of egypt!"
"we have prince of egypt at home"
prince of egypt at home:
@Benjamin Puljak wait what year did this come out??
@@waterlily7075 2009
Cpt Ace Welt what. This shit looks like 99
@@noosewayne8867 it looks like it was made in MS paint
@Benjamin Puljak *15
Category: Gaming
Is this some sort of game to you, TH-cam? This is a matter of life and death.
It's trending in gaming #23
Isn't this a compilation of God's most insane plays ?
@@Barry864 21
@@tylerblubaugh5549 back to 23
Name not found or
Gotta love how those slaves were beaten and starved, but remained absolutely units
By the way, in reality, most of the workers were not slaves, but well paid farmers who were working during the time when the corps were already harvested, and the time to plant new ones din't come yet.
Mike Zotov they were well paid farmers beaten by their masters.
Exodus - 21:20-21 “Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property.”
An Atheist Well, with all due respect that only applies to slaves, as is said in that excerpt. It doesn’t apply to the well paid workers.
@@ineedabetterpfp2485 But you gotta love the fact that the Bible isn't going against slavery and even saying that it's okay to physically harm someone in the name of God.
@@waterhigh Tis but a scratch
The Tower of Babel was a bit different. They tried to make a giant tower cause they wanted to get to heaven using cheat mode so God just kinda said no.
not cheating they wanted to come together to reach their creator who said fuck you
yuh.
@@saiyanfang1047 No, they wanted to become as gods themselves.
When God turns on anti cheat
@@forgottobreathe.5331 💀 you're pathetic
Oh god we watched this in school back then
Our teacher accidentally played Prince of Egypt at first so everyone was like "Ok this is cool," but after a few minutes he said "wait no wrong movie" and switched to this.
Top ten anime betrayals
Lol, should have went with the first one, it's a much better movie.
"wAiT nO wrONg MoVIe"
This hurt my soul.
*Top ten bible betrayals
If only Bibleman was there to help Moses and the slaves. Pharaoh would be running
*Pulls out piss-colored lightsaber*
Bibleman
Bibleman and Yugi fight the Pharoah in the manga
PoliticallyIncorrect Videos no. They need Bible Dude from Mad TV
In the Netflix edition, Pharaoh is beaten by the same goons that veat GayStation
Animation looks like a deformed Sims 3 remake. Prince of Egypt > Any other 'Bible' movie honestly.
Yeah... as a Christian myself i find this deformed.
Looks more like civ 6 imo
I genuinely struggle to imagine anyone surpassing Prince of Egypt in terms of visuals or storytelling. Hell, I have trouble understanding why people even bother making new ones. Were there really people working on this project that either didn't see Prince of Egypt or thought to themselves, "Yeah, alright, but I think I can do ya one better?"
Passion of the Christ is pretty good
Cynthia Rowley excuse me, veggietales would like to talk to you
I just wanna throw it out there, being an Egyptian deity myself, that I wasn't cool with any of that shit pharaoh was doing. He was being a total chode. Me and Jehovah are bros now. He comes over on Sundays to play poker with me and Ra. Allah shows up too sometimes, but he doesn't play much, just sits in the corner smoking weed and playing gamecube. He's pretty chill though.
ayo Allah is a gamer? epic gamer moment
Cool
@@arjuna3221 Yeah bro, he only plays Smash and smokes blunts tho
Friendship ended with Pharaoh. Jehovah is my new best friend.
Allah and Jehovah are both the same person tho
Little did he know that he was watching gameplay for the next Assassins creed game
Assassins creed: BIBLE EDITION
smh I hate the roman level where you have to go to all that effort to kill that Jewish guy and then he just respawns
@@dylang1138 They should fix that bug.
8:20 nobody gonna ask why Clone Wars Obi Wan Kenobi is here?
A suprise for sure, but a welcome one.
The real questions is what John Wick doing there 3:30
@@amirafif3465 I'm sorry, but the real question is why isn't his face melting? 7:01
This is a Star Wars prequel
Well Obi-Wan Kenobi is literally Jesus
This animation feels like a failed pixar movie from 2002
@@YoungAlienBoy fuck off, stop spamming your links everywhere
Shrek 5 failed...
@@dweep9546 looks like comments were deleted.
JerryBoi YT good good very gooodd
Pixar has never failed
Yea I can confirm killer bean was the first prophet.
Thanks guys for 1.4k likes that's the most I've ever received ♥️
9Wekkeleowldoor
Peepeepoopoo
@@ftsataros25 🖖
We knew it all along
@@GOD-lf7vg hi
I loved it in the Bible when Killer Bean unleashed his stand
Remember when bible man fought killer bean and beat him becoming a true super sayain??
Killer Bean's stand would beat Sex Pistols Requiem.
ultimate killer bean bites the bean requiem act 4 love train over heaven
It was pretty sick when shrek got all the infinity stones and he turned super saiyan and fought lord chungus with the epic theme song
Was killer beans stand killer QUEEN
🩸😀🩸🔫
this is just a straight up Prince of Egypt bootleg starring Howie Mandel
A man of culture eh?
I want to know who played Pharoah Hitler.
Wu-Oh It's me Cat fuckin gold comment
@@xenodirt Howie Mandel's shadow clone jutsu
Y e a h, geh
Best part of the YuGiOh anime is definitely when Yugi convinces Pharoah Hitler to commit suicide
Back on on the shadowrealms batllefield?
Yea. Good times
I’m about to send you to the shadowrealm bimbo
“Les Dix Comandants” (French for The Ten Commandments)
Charlie: That’s a stupid name
Hon hon hon hon le dix
The pp rules
French is a stupid language
I dont speak baguette
the French don't exist.
You didn't even get to the chapter where lot sleeps with his daughters lmao.
WAT
@@EveTheRaviolo yeah look it up.
@Wail Pal21hail Endorsement? The babies from the daoughters' pregnancies were the Ammon and Moav, the ancestors of the nations of Ammon and Moav, which were the bad guys. I don't think it's endorsing anything about incest
lmao how didnt i hear of somin like this before
@@chumincoomim it's not exactly a widely told story.
God:it was just a prank bro its a prank bro chill chill there's the camera bro
*points* *to* *hell*
Just a prank bro
Accurate
They never saw the prank coming!
666 likes atm
Heheheheh 690
“Soon, our people will see the promised land,”
“They won’t,”
lmao
U mean the anime
SUPREME HOKAGE I like your midoriya icon good taste
A Poinsettia I was about to change it ahaha
SUPREME HOKAGE wow I feel betrayed
If *SUPREME HOKAGE* sees this hes gay
Edit: he saw it
7:03 Moses successfully summons his persona, God
thou art i... and i am thou...
No no if you actualy read the manga jesus was the first jojo so in theory moses was the first stand user
GOD: "I created man in my own image"
CriTIKal was born
@@YoungAlienBoy No
Zeus.
Spooky Filmz Ent. No
Spooky Filmz Ent. Ok
Spooky Filmz Ent. Isn’t it your own video?
The Prince of Egypt is the superior Bible movie. You can't really beat it.
The Life of Brian is the best.
Honestly, it's Dreamworks best movie to date.
@Miscellaneous Mind I prefer the Holy Grail, but the Life of Brian is indeed a great film.
DELIVER US
LET MY PEOPLE GOOOOOOOOO
"Do they sustain themselves off of faith?"
Actually.... yeah kinda
My immediate thought when he said that in the video.
Didn't they get bread from the sky or something... It's been years since I read the manga, I don't remember anymore.
Mana fell from the sky each day except for Saturday so on Friday they would take 2 portions of Mana
Seems legit
@gamewizard I yup, God give them manna from sky, at least its written like that, but that word in oldjew mean rich, live food
Thing is charlie, there's an actual bible manga.
Yeah and it's fucking lit.
@@davidsoyele7829 yeah. I remember borrowing it from my friend years ago.
@@wafers4595 It was in my school library back in secondary school. Probably the coolest portrayal of biblical characters that I have ever seen. Somehow, they managed to make Jesus Christ look like an absolute chad.
You're fucking kidding me?
Really?
Y'all ever just see a video at 11 seconds after upload
@@VarietyJoe Stevens
Jup
yup
Hey Can Yall Dislike This Music Video 🏳️🌈🙏🏽th-cam.com/video/I--rRfdoWEI/w-d-xo.html
Ya
If I remember correctly, Moses doesn't actually die. He's just taken to heaven. He's supposed to be one of two witnesses that come back for Revelation. The bible would make an epic movie arc tbh.
No lol Moses absolutely dies. He’s forbidden from entering the Promised Land by God, and he climbs up a mountain and dies
Where does Enoch fit into this? Didn’t he walk off with God into the aether or something?
@@holdencole5740 Enoch was picked up in a chariot of fire, avoiding death. I don't think the Bible really mentions him after that. Like, no real part in the grand plan of the universe but he got some chapters for being a good egg.
Enoch & Elijah were the only ones to go to heaven directly
Israelites cursed Moses to death
Holden Cole That is actually really vague. All the Bible has to say about Enoch is that he lived 365 years and walked with God. It is assumed that his lack of being mentioned of having died implies he got the same treatment as Elijah did but that is left to speculation. The Ethiopian Bible contains the Book of Enoch which is essentially a prequel to the Noah story but scholarly opinion is divided on whether it is as old as the rest of Genesis or whether it was essentially fanfiction.
"Aww man, what are you afraid of?"
"Um, the wrath of the guy that we literally saw split an entire sea in half the other day, and then re-seal it to wipe out an entire army in an instant? That's what we're afraid of."
It's a good thing to be afraid of. If God is willing to give that kind of power, you are special.
Cooper Spence kinda a dick move to be able to wipe out an army because they don’t follow a god
@@conanrose1182 Guess Satan must be pretty damn special too then, since God is willing to give him the power to basically fuck with all of humankind as long as its existed lmao
@@dadeee7776 didnt they want to kill the other people?
Young City Bandit and? Why would a god allow such an act who’s supposed to be all loving kind of narcissistic to allow your followers to kill anyone just because they follow isn’t it, what a fucking joke imo
God: "wait don't kill your son"
Abraham: "Huh?"
God: "You just, walked the prank"
Here let me blow your mind. Everything God had abraham do to his son was a representation of what he was gonna do for the world through his son Yeshua.
@@HyPhYx420 I know I was just making a joke lol
@@gabbro5817 oh okay cool maybe somebody else that didnt understand it will have their minds blown lol!
@@HyPhYx420 Yeshua being a pronunciation/translation of Joshua.
@@danielmaster8776 man you're too active on youtube
"How dare you disrespect my Pokemon collection! Consider your children and their children banished to hell."
Why's Charlie watching a documentary about himself
Hes vain
He only comes in the sequel (New Testament)
This happened 2000 years ago he probably forgot
@@iamsatire2883 LMAO
His origin story. The l o r e
As moses once said to the pharaoh while crossing the red sea "i have the high ground now!"
He's a real chad
“YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER, MOSES!!”
@@Arualiaa "You were my brother pharaoh and I loved you!"
It's over Yugi, I have the high ground!
As a PSA, don’t get molested
All molestation in the world dropped to 0
ah if only that could happen
@@affinityxs whaddaya mean? I haven't been molested since this came out, a new record for me!
The Bible is surprisingly badass. Especially once you get to the part where Jesus' body parts get scattered across America and a guy makes bees explode.
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Jesus's body is then sought after in a transcontinental race by the U.S. President all the while a cripple rides to assassinate him
N00BSYBORG I sense a jojo reference
Why This whole thing is a JoJo’s reference
SBR was amazing indeed
I love how every bible movie has all white characters..........in the Middle East. Edit: I’m not being a blm shill calm down. I just find it a funny trope
Idk they do look like they could be Arab lmao
Egypt was mostly Greek during this time. Alexander the Great's empire collapsed after his death, and many independent nations rose up in it's place.
Edit: I understand looking through the rest of the replies to see if I said anything else is annoying. So I'm putting this here. The events of this story in the Bible take place before Alexander the Great's time. You can stop correcting me now.
@@walnzell9328 This is way before Alexander the Great.
@@_chew_ Really? When was this?
@@walnzell9328 It's hard to say exactly, but probably somewhere around 1279-1213 BC, since it's assumed to be during the reign of Ramses II.
Lol. I remember the Rugrats episode that re-enacted this.
Hahaha wow. I do too.
Thomas Terbanc those were the days, amirite?
Yeah, I remember crying when chucky got devoured by that swarm of locusts.
Ya know, if Adam and Eve got into a fight, it'd be a world war.
How?
@@danielmaster8776 they were the only people in the world... so world war
@@justsomegoosewithinterneta4199 Bruh.
Would it be tho? They were both created by the same person sooooo?
Why. That was pointless.
Pharaoh: *walks his army across the Red Sea*
God: I’m about to end this whole man’s career
This made my day
Cheekychief22 this man’s whole career
I like how he is just freely memorizing these Bible stories off the top...
Most house born religious people can.
@@YoungAlienBoy I did, now get yo spamming ass outta here
I mean, the tower of Babel part is wrong, to be fair
As pointed out, the Tower of Babel bit Pen mentioned was wrong. Well, some of it. God didn't make the tower, the people did, and they did it to prove that they can reach heaven and were better than God. God told them to go different ways and populate the earth and they didn't do that, then he sees them making a tower to try and prove their better than him, so he confuses the language of the people. This resulted in them going different ways because what good does living in a city where not a single soul understands you and you being unable to understand them? After they scattered from the city, God destroyed the tower.
Basically it.
the wrong description of the tower made me laugh though. Massive tower pops out of the ground spontaneously and then starts emitting language-altering electromagnetic waves or some shit
As a Jew myself, I can confirm that Moses split the sea by flexing his beyblade
It’s four in the morning and at first I read that as “spilt the tea” and I was like “damn, Moses, what’s the tea, sis?”
@@Bubbles-od2zm i officially cannot breath thanks to laughter
@@Bubbles-od2zm The Lord of Comedy
@@Bubbles-od2zm funni
He had a cool tablet
Dude imagine what God's K/D must be
like a billion to one ikr
its gotta be like 130 billion to one or something
201,092,106-1
@@therealgeneralMacArthur nah its more than that because everything in this world is “gods plan” so all deaths that have ever happened are under his name
As high or as low as he pleases.
God: *gives human free will*
Human: *disobeys god*
God: *confused pikachu face*
Wait I thought human only gain free will after they ate the fruit in the garden of Eden? God didn’t give them free will
@@biscuit4705 well i mean why didnt god just take it off then?
Tatu Juntunen why would he? He knew that people would follow him no matter what, and if people stop worshiping him he would just kill all of them like the great flood.
At this point I’m pretty sure god is just fucking with us bc he can, not bc it’s the right thing to do
@@biscuit4705 Idk about that haha.
@@biscuit4705 He is a loving God, given us free will and even told Adam and Eve to not eat the Tree of Life but didn't listen and look where it got us, God is giving us a chance to be turn away from our sinful lives and towards Christ who has died for our sins to gain a chance in Heaven, if he wanted to control all of us then He should've made robots then.
I actually remember watching this for my Christian Ed class when I was 12 and absolutely losing it in the fight scene at the start
Christian Ed class.
Tbh the only good Christian class to go to as a child was vacation bible school lmao
Wtf? You guys have religion in school? What country?
mega oof vacation Bible School was always so much to me, I never went to church as a kid except for during the summer
@@Rspsand07 i donno about them but in canada we have catholic schools or public schools.
8:17 The guy to the right looks like Obi-Wan from the Clone Wars series.
Ian Yazzie Well I’ll let you find Anakin then.
GENERAL KENOBI!
Obi wan be out here lookin like Jesus before Jesus
Hello there
He has the high ground!
Moses used the holy beyblade to create a riptide, allowing the people to pass
7:00
They supposed survived off of what they called "mana"
In modern day, scientists think it was a type of algae (we can live an entire life off algae alone) and with some speculation that it may have produced a hallucinogenic chemical in the algae.
Which also explains why they spent 40 years on a journey that should have finished in 1 year.
So they tripped balls in the desert? Sounds like burning man
Except it says mana is bread. explicitly. This is like how scientists try to explain away all the other stuff in the bible. Take something the bible describes specifically and just make up their own explanation to fit what they think is the only thing possible. They will never take into consideration it could just be telling the truth. That alone makes these "scientists" nonscientific because they have a clear bias already
@@TheLastApostle yeah and dont forget all the made up rules that the government made up to control people. Since no one but the church could read Latin so they could make up anything.
look mans, i came here for a family friendly discussion on people tripping balls in the desert, but now i gotta read people talking abut scientists and the government because some guy mentioned eating some sick ass algae.
@@TheLastApostle exactly. And it's all symbolic anyway
God- the original TH-camr.
His vlogs must have been off the chain. Wonder what his social blade is looking like these days. Cant be great.
Jesus christ has over a million subs. But his views are low so meh
God vs PewDiePie vs T-Series
He said the n word on raid and now his vids are getting demonitized
The views are low, he only have ghost followers, millions of them.
*Patrolling the Bible almost makes you wish for a Nuclear Jesus*
Patrolling the Winter almost makes you wish for a nuclear wasteland.
Youre the reason i joined the Legion
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Nuclear Jesus is my favorite incarnation of the Hulk
NCR Trooper I can make that happen
I could see that “Dix commandments” joke coming from a mile away😂
He doesn't become nightwing you nerd. He becomes Moonknight, obviously.
Hey Can Yall Dislike This Music Video Lol 🏳️🌈🙏🏽th-cam.com/video/I--rRfdoWEI/w-d-xo.html
I appreciate this
I remember that time Jesus and Buddah hang out in Japan
Hi one wryyy man
Saint onee san haha
That isn’t cannon in the Bible
@@Honestry_ Yes it is.
And they were roommates
*When I read Cain killed his brother Abel*
I knew by then the Bible is quite hardcore
*with a fucking rock*
Because Cain was jealous of him
@@martymcfly9338 oh yeah I kill people because I'm jealous all the time
When will they bring the bible to Xbox I can't wait
How come no one talk about how an entire tribe of Israel gang raped the wife of a member from the priest class. She legit got up walked in the door and died after.
Disappointed. I was waiting for Moses to yell "No. Nooooooooooooooo"
A fellow man of culture...i know where that comes from
“trending on gaming” is proof that jesus was a gamer
He invented the respawn button
Fun Fact: There is a manga based on the life of Jesus. I've only laid eyes on it twice in my classes.
The one about Jesus and Budda in modern-day Japan?
@@ethann6573 Nah, it was a historical work but that does sound wild tho
I own a copy
that manga messiah thing?
Steel ball run?
Remember kids always say no homo or else God will disown you
Hey Can Yall Dislike This Music Video Lol 🏳️🌈🙏🏽th-cam.com/video/I--rRfdoWEI/w-d-xo.html
No gods no masters.
it's 2019, we say pro-homo bro
The Hottest Of the Garbages ur pfp makes it all the better
Honestly, biblical lore-wise, god is one of the most wrathful and spiteful beings of all time, despite claiming to rail so hard against it.
To defeat evil you have to think evil.
@@enricopucci7205 fair
I was marathoning bible and i was like "wtf God!?"
@@EricSyz what did you expect? Him just asking tyrants to free his people?
@@enricopucci7205 he literally hardened pharaohs heart when moses was coming over to ask him to let his people go god was out for blood he didnt give a shit about his people
Abrham: "has to kill son because god said so"
God: "jk"
Abrham: "cries"
God: " *It was just a prank bro!* "
angels:" that was so fucking lit dude!"
@@benharira1626 Devil: "Imma say, it was kinda evil ......... I love it ! "
then god wanting to calm down Abraham said "here eat this lamb with your family you'll love it"
in a parallel universe, Abraham's brain was lagging and God's message reached him 4 seconds after he killed his son
Abraham*
Joshua looks like The Clone Wars version of Obi Wan Kenobi.
I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING 😂😂😂
God: *Frees the Hebrews from Egypt*
Also God: *Sends the Hebrews to wander the desert for 40 years, killing the rest of the generation that he saved from Egypt*
God don't f*ck around with sinners.
When those same people decide to worship a golden cow statue just cause, maybe they shouldn't free loaf
@@thejedisonic67 maybe god shouldnt play these bullshit santa clause games and prove his existence, thatd make too much sense ya know?
@loliquatsch here's the thing right? no God = no one can accomplish anything worth accomplishing. there can't be more than one God (since God is perfect and two perfect beings share goals you can consider them both one God). therefore, if we matter there is one God. (since our existence mattering depends on whether we can accomplish something worth accomplishing) if we don't matter then, for the same reasons, truth doesn't matter and you may as well believe in a God anyway. therefore denying monotheism is the only silly thing a person can do.
All of that to say, it doesn't matter whether or not God has proved or will prove his (i use that pronoun loosely) existence, it is worth believing in him regardless.
Note: I'll elaborate on the one point a casual reader may disagree with. Our existence mattering. basically, whether or not you are good, bad, wise, foolish, knowledgeable, idiotic, hard-working, lazy, prideful, humble, etc. the end of the universe will be the same. you will die, your friends will die, all memories of you and yours will disappear one day when everything ends. Your actions produce no difference, thus your existence does not matter. All of that is presuming there is no God/afterlife etc.
Clearly, the existence of a God/afterlife brings meaning and impact to your decisions. therefore, i restate my conclusion that not believing in monotheism of some sort is the only silly choice you can make.
@@thejedisonic67
God was having then roam around the desert as a prank. Egypt wasn't that far from Jerusalem and he was just fucking with them until they started panicking. Epic prankster God.
I want Charlie to rewrite the bible but in his words, that'd be some top tier shit. I think that'd make me enjoy the manga a whole lot more
the manga is dark as sh*t i agree
*"as a PSA, don't get molested"* Where was this information during my parents custody hearing 😭
Human: builds golden cow
God: *that's some tea right there, sis! Just wait until I cancel you🤡*
I said that?
@@seb5542 make an apology video
on that
@@brici7164 whyyyyyyyy
@@brici7164 im so sorry did i offend you. Are your feelings alright? Im Sorry dont want those facts of it being a story to hurt your feelings. Lol
@@brici7164 i'll make sure its twenty minutes or more, i have a massive sigh at the start and i cry all the way through whilst making it worse, crying and being a hypocrite.
#26 on trending for gaming
Yes my favorite game the bible
21
Dude, I need some tips for playing Goliath. I’m trying to get past this part where I fight David and it’s supposed to be an easy boss fight, but I take 999 damage when I get hit by a rock. Is this a glitch?
@@Pigninjius no itsnintentional it's supposed to be the hardest boss and make them easyier
@@Pigninjius hmmm maybe someone should do a bible game.. i bet i could get some christians to fund it to lol
Do u complete the game? Im playing as king david in part 5 where u can choose to kill a woman husband and fuck her or just remain still whatever i choose its always the one where u fuck her and kill her husband i read the game walkthrough in church and it said that the canon one is to fuck her but i dont want king david to have sin so i choose the other one but somehow my king david always fuck her and get sinned pls help is this happen to everyone?
Everyone forgets the B-Side commandments
“Don’t boil a baby goat in its mother’s milk” is a real banger
The 11th commandment everyone forgot about:
- Do not disecrate corpses hanging from trees in Japan
Spooky Filmz Ent. No fuck off stop promoting your shitty video here
In Every other country it's allowed tho...
Desecrate?
Get out of her stalker
@@chipskylark5500 he's referencing Logan Paul
Wait till The Book Of Revelations. That's when it really gets nuts.
Its literally nonstop insane bullshit from beginning to end.
@@adamplentl5588 i dunno, being the first book to document bacteria, ice age, the fact that matter itself shouldnt exist, and did and still is making and fullfilling prophecies. Its scary how accurate its actually coming around, i remember when i said that pedophilia and beastiality would never be legal or supported. Boi was i wrong....
I have no idea what they were smoking when they wrote it, but I kinda want some.
Who is The Milkman? Oh yeah dude that’s some crazy stuff, the prophecies really fuck me up
@@reddyforlenny9389 " i remember when i said that pedophilia and beastiality would never be legal or supported. Boi was i wrong...."
'member when God nuked Sodom and Gomorrah?
The people built the tower of babylon trying to reach heaven, but then god looked down upon them and scrambled their languages, being forced to spread out. but you're right about Beyblade, that was 100% accurate
In beyblade at one point they show moses separating the sea with a beyblade
It’s the tower of BABEL, not BABYLON!!!!
@@catchifyoucan232 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@@KFCGAMING55 yes
This taken out of context is beautiful
"The bible is hardcore." People often forget that.
I have never felt more strange about something associated with my religion
Why lol
nickolie flippo I can eat your religion dude. I don't find much solace in that.
Jelly Bingey what’s your religion
nickolie flippo lmao no one cares
@ you have a serious problem, seek help.
They forgot the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt watch thy streams at twitch.tv/moistcr1tikal
I have my own stream! A stream, where I can do what I want!
*gets struck by lightning*
"hey! Remember that scene in the dreamworks version where the sea parted and it was tense and breathtaking? Well, here's 2 ugly whales and a turtle, hope you like it!"
“Jesus reacts to the Bible and how his dad is a prankster”
"Kill some baby lambs or I'll throw frogs at you" - Old Testament Prankbro Revlations 4:17
This almost killed me. Thank you for waking up my family
You got that entirely wrong
I will, dont fuck with me nigga.
@@noahgoodman1237 No that's exactly what the bible says, lol
This looks like the budget Dreamworks Prince of Egypt from some Chinese company
The reboot of Joshua and the Promised Land looks less than promising.
imagine if charlie said, "this movie has such bad writing."
Technically, since nothing can measure up to the way the stories are presented in the Bible.
I like how Charlie actually has a really good understanding of all of it and isn’t just like those other youtubers who’d be like “yeah this never happened”
@Just Elijxh bruh sound effect 3
Flyingshark111 I mean he knows abt it but yeah we don’t really know if it happened or not
@Mermaids love dick this nigga’s replying to every single comment on some Reddit atheism shit😂
@Mermaids love dick Christians forcing others into their religion is the same as atheists such as you talking down on peoples beliefs
@Mermaids love dick The bible is metaphorical, myths have been used in several societies to convey the deeper truths without the expectance that they necessarily actually happened. It’s not religion’s fault that people are illiterate and disconnected from the meaning of the tradition of mythology, people act elitist and in their own hubris against religion because they have no ideas what those stories mean or what they are there for.
Moses: There, I did everything you asked me, may I enter Heaven now?
God: Hmmmm.... no.
*Top 10 Anime Betrayls*
Moses: Why not?
God: You hit a rock with a stick when I told you to talk to it.
But he did actually enter heaven. God only forgives you if you are sorry for what you did, you will try to never do it again and you ask for forgiveness. Anyways, bye.
He went to heaven he wasn’t aloud into the holy land though in Israel when he died he went to heaven but wasn’t aloud in the holy land as he shouldn’t have whacked the rock when he need to give it a nice rub and give it a good speech so it could let all of its water out like a good rock
@@Fostermoving54 it was him just doing it out of wrath and anger. Moses was tired of everyone's bitching for water since it was only supposed to be a 4 day trip.
Micah Ellis I know my mans I’m just memeing
This is the only reaction to videos youtube channel I can put up with.
Because he's pretty much the only actually funny one
He is literally mocking the BIBLE.
@@advisorsuccess Exactly it's amazing lmao
My guy keep hammering the *S A N D*
0:36