As someone with a severe peanut allergy, the first one makes me so mad. Your home is the one safe space you can control where you don't have to worry about your allergen/s. Anyone who flouts that is a massive A-hole!
My uncle can’t even visit our house because of the risk of potentially being exposed to peanuts. His actually ended up getting worse over the years because his parents thought he was making it up. He now carries an epi-pen and has a tattoo on his arm with the Planter’s peanut in a 🚫.
@@hannahbradshaw2186 He was born in the 50’s so I think there was a more “suck it up” kinda view, which is insane to think about. I don’t have any food allergies, but I do have asthma and the thought of my parents not believing me is wild.
The lobster one - omg, so he wants her to leave her home, where she lives, because mommy fancies a lobster? I would be all "sure, fine, set the table In the drive way and tell them I won't be attending, because I don't want to die". The wedding/proposal one - are they insane? Fiance included? I noticed there is a bit of an age gap, that can change the power dynamic, maybe he is a momma's boy and the MIL thinks she can bully her into compliance? Huge red flag, who thinks it's ok to ask the bride to give her wedding dress to someone else during the wedding? What dobyou need to smoke to have such an idea?
Also, I’m assuming that they aren’t planning on bringing their own dishwear/ using disposable dishes. Unless they are being extremely careful (which given their behavior I highly doubt) the chance of cross contamination is pretty high.
@@someonewithazeldaprofilephotoNot to mention the repeat proposal idea sounds like total ass. The whole point of a proposal is to ask a question, how does that even make sense if she's *wearing* the answer when he does it? It would look like he's proposing to someone else's bride.
@@dragongirl7978it’s totally over the top. Wearing a wedding dress, with the flower girl. If this took place at a wedding I attended, my first through would be that it is a surprise double wedding, as two people are wearing a wedding dress.
@@s.a.4358With the level of manipulation happening in this family, I would not be surprised if the "proposal" spectacle was in fact intended to be a honey trap. "Oh, everyone thinks we're getting married today, ha ha... but it's so romantic! And we're engaged, maybe we just should!"
I was so angry at the "gave 9 month old dogfood" title until the story. When my son was learning to eat solids, I frequently gave him homemade dog treats. Ingredients for infants are absolutely the same thing as dog safe ingredients. Sweet potato, oats, carrot, peanut butter, banana. It's very efficient for a dog and baby home lol. However I see where the mom is coming from. I still had so many hormones whirling around at 9 months post partum. Still NTA, OP was just trying to be helpful and the treats are handmade. Kind of ridiculous for the mom to still be going on about it and refusing to talk properly.
I get being unreasonable because of hormones, but then be reasonable when you've calmed down though. Had a whole conversation with my spouse recently that some people are just unable to say sorry, he says I can't hold that against 'em. But I don't agree on that. It's totally okay and human to make a mistake, but only if you take accountability and learn from it.
Imagine having the audacity to ask if you can get proposed to at SOMEONE ELSE'S wedding, in THEIR dress, with THEIR flower girl in a super over-the-top way that would DEFINITELY take the attention off the bride. Which is bad enough and you remember WHY she wants this to happen and it's because she was ALREADY proposed to but she didn't like how she got proposed to so she wants a redo.
And I don't understand the logic of staging a proposal in which the woman is already in a wedding dress. In what head does that make sense? They were just trying to mess with the bride and with the SIL's fiancé. Break the will of the two new members of the family.
It's really scary that some people can develop an allergy to foods that they weren't allergic to in the past. The MIL is the definite ahole, she knows it could cause a reaction and still insists on bringing it. That's a bad guest in my opinion.
That happened to me with pineapple, I had it on the side for breakfast while out to brunch with my fiancee. A couple hours later I was covered in hives and had to go to the ER to get prescribed an antihistamine because the itching was so bad.
I didn't used to be allergic to almonds. Then I started drinking chocolate almond milk in the evenings and got a scratchy throat. I thought it was just dry air at night, that happens. Then I ate a whole almond in a chocolate and my throat swelled up (thankfully not dangerously so, a benadryl took it down). So I can't have almonds anymore.
I know people that have developed allergies to hair colour that they've been using for years. Not fun when you've got colour on your head and suddenly your entire scalp and face break becomes enflamed.
I had to laugh at the "lackluster" proposal bit. My spouse's proposal to me was literally sitting across from each other on the floor of his parents' family room in Malaysia at 3 AM the morning before I had to fly back home to the US and him going, "So, um... should we be engaged?" Also, he then temporarily un-proposed to me an hour later when his parents' confusion over what it meant to be engaged led them to oppose our engagement (they thought it would require us to do a bunch of legal paperwork in the few remaining hours before I left the country). Once we explained to his parents what we meant by being engaged, they were fully on board, and the proposal re-commenced with something along the lines of, "So... are we engaged again?" Honestly, as tumultuous as that proposal was, it was kind of perfect, because my spouse and I (now happily married for 15 years) have always had this thing about not beating around the bush and always speaking directly with each other. This helped us over the initial cultural barriers we occasionally faced in the early years of marriage, and it's still how we communicate to this day. Not all proposals need to be huge, fancy affairs. Simple and direct can be just as good, for some of us, anyway.
My proposal was us laying in bed one night, and having a discussion about, “we should get married” “when should we get married, before or after grad school” “okay, order a ring and let’s start planning a wedding” 😂
Lol, I planned to propose to my partner, had an anxiety attack when I was about to do it, then had to explain why I was having an anxiety attack. Once I’d calmed down, he said, “oh, by the way, yes.” 😆
We had decided not to get married, and then I got pregnant, still wasn’t sure about marriage. Then my SIL (also pregnant) had a bunch of complications. My husband came from work that day and said ‘make the appointment, I already filed the papers’ and I didn’t question it. 🤣
The allergy one. I have a kiwi allergy and I had told my partner (at the times) family about it. They thought I was joking or avoiding eating kiwis cause they are healthy or something? So they gave me a green smoothie and I asked "This doesn't have kiwi right?" and they said "No, of course not", so I drank it. Suffice it to say they knew I was being serious after that. Not sure why anyone ever goes "Oh, you SAY you're allergic? I don't think so" as if they know better than you somehow. 🙄😒
I finally learned last week that I am allergic to mango skin. It took a while to figure out because I often eat frozen mango and am fine, but noticed that I got an eczema like rash the last couple times I bought whole mangoes. This last time it was affecting my mouth and I read that it can become anaphylactic! So, needless to say, there will never be whole mangoes in my house again. Even "just the rash" has been horrible!
@@tkrause1116 yeah, people don't understand how uncomfortable ANY change to your body can be in regards to allergy. It doesn't have to be full on hospital visit for it to be a problem.
@@tkrause1116that's interesting, I wonder what makes the skin irritable for you but not the flesh. Could it be a pesticide? I'm very curious. I understand that some people can be specifically allergic to egg whites but can consume yolks fine as well (because of the proteins).
I had a look for an update for the last story and saw a few comments from OP. Her situation is much worse than we think because she realised she's in an abusive relationship and doesn't know how to get out. He isolated her from all her friends and any kind of support system she had, monitors her every move by checking her phone and controls her finances. She's in a very scary position and I hope she manages to get out :( Post-edit: Found an update "I've run away. Things got worse after he took my phone away. Much worse. I found an old phone of mine in a purse I had at the back of my closet. I walked until I couldn't anymore. Im scared to say where I am because he still has my phone. He deleted the app off of it so I assume that makes it so hes not logged in anymore but Im scared he'll at least be able to look up the account and see this post. I found a place with free wifi and Im charging this phone but I'm so terrified. I'm homeless now once again. I live in a suburban area so there isn't much place to hide, Im probably the only homeless person here in this area. I need to go somewhere in salt lake I think to blend in more but I don't know how to get there without being found. There might be a shelter or something I can show up to once I get to salt lake. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so fucking scared again I don't want to be sleeping with one eye open on benches again, constantly scared for my life but I can't be there anymore. He said if I left he would call the police and have them bring me back, can he do that? He said if Im mentally unwell they'll do it." jesus christ
My god, you sent me down that rabbit hole myself, and it is absolutely wild. They haven’t posted in a month, but hoping that’s because they are in a shelter now. Sending all love to OP, just looking at how young they are, the fact that this is the second time they’ve been homeless says a lot about how tough their life must have been so far. It takes so much courage to leave a “financially stable” situation, after even having history of homelessness in your youth, because of, at the very least, emotional abuse that prolly didn’t even register for so long. . . Sending them all the love, jfc. Some people aren’t worth the air they breath man. . .
1. NTA, and who tf thinks it's OK to confine someone to a single room in their own house, just so he can eat lobster?!? He and his mom can go to a restaurant. 2. NTA. I can understand the sister's new mom stress; some new parents really do overreact to stuff. But she needs to get over it, and the mom needs to support OP. 3. NTA, OMG, WTF?!?!? My initial reaction was, are you sure you want to marry into this family? Then I read a comment here saying how much worse the situation actually is, and I'm just glad she got away and hope she's safe now.
I feel sorry for the fiancé for being made to make a spectacle of himself in a really bonkers pantomime at someone else's wedding. You really don't want to marry into that family, mate. Ditto the poor fiancée. Ditch that dude, bab and run for the hills. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
That last one, O M G. No words. Family sounds like a terrible mix of thinking they’re Main Characters, being controlling, and being absolutely efing greedy and stingy. They’re treating her like some poor relation who’s lucky just to be included in their family.
Not to mention...IDK who decided future BIL's proposal was lack-luster, but that's pretty rude to him to be like "No, you must do it over in a public setting!"
@@emilymoran9152 "not good enough for me" "ok, then I'm out." My engagement was basically me telling my girlfriend I told someone at work I'd love to marry her someday and her saying "does this mean we're engaged now?" and me replying "Yeah, I think it does..." and us being super overjoyed about it. It was fun! I mean, if that isn't enough for someone, then they're not in it for love, they're in it for a big party. Buy the a fancy cake and get the hell out while there's still time.
story 3: The part that blew me away the most was 'using the bride's wedding dress to cut cost'. Not that the entire thing wasn't insane. I think OP needs to have a private chat with the sister-in-law's fiance and they, as the 3rd parties to this crazy family, can discuss the red flags. Because what is never even mentioned is how hurtful this whole plan probably is to the sister's SO who went through what he believed to be a sweet gesture just for them.
There's a comment somewhere above where she realized she's in a toxic relationship and he had isolated and abused her. She ran off and ended up homeless. (Hopefully before they married).
Not only that, but the "wearing bride's dress to cut cost" implies that they planned for her to wear equally extravagant dress when it is polite tradition not to out dress the bride. It sounds like they want their own wedding already, not a proposal. A proposal does not require a flower girl. I can only imagine how this potential bride and family might be about her actual wedding if they're this pent up about *THE PROPOSAL*
In the last one, he's a fiance, not a husband yet. With all the 🚩🚩🚩if I were her I'd rethink whether or not I want to marry him, because it will probably get worse after they marry. If he's taking his family's side against her before the wedding it doesn't bode well for a happy marriage. Run while you can 🙀
On the dog treat thing - we home make my dog‘s treats, which are basically just peanut butter cookies with gf flower and no sugar. Me and my family have all tried them, and snack a couple every time we bake a new batch. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t eaten a couple when we were out of “human” biscuits.
I made my dog a birthday cake one year which was peanut butter, ground oats, some pureed pumpkin, a small spoonful of local raw honey (she was a puppy at the time and had wicked seasonal allergies the previous summer and the vet said a tiny amount in of local raw honey in homemade dog treats could help in the same way it helps humans and the next year no allergies), an egg, and I forget what type of dog safe flour, but my husband and I definitely tried a slice when we gave it to her. Half of why we did it was in an attempt to give her the raw honey over about 2 weeks because we didn't want to have to buy our dog Zyrtec 😂 it was the blandest cake ever and she absolutely loved it.
Also my mother in law once bought us dog safe cookies that smelled exactly like nutter butters and I looked at the ingredients, they were 100% human safe. Apparently, a few of the dog safe cookies like that are wonderful for diabetics and people with certain food allergies. I remember reading a comment from someone who worked at a fancy pet store about cookies like that and occasionally they'd get a call from a people who had allergies asking them to order a bunch of them.
For those looking for dog safe flours: all-purpose is fine, and if you’re gluten free or need to work with a gluten free flour, rice or sorghum works perfectly well (just add a teaspoon of xanthan gum as a thickener).
@@bboops23 At least in Germany all pet food has do be safe for humans to eat or be labeled accordingly. As a child me and my friends would buy yoghurt drops for rabbits and eat them. We thought we were being funny. My parents were appalled but after checking the ingredients they just shook their heads and let us continue.
@@miralyse.3846 so I'm not going to say I'm an expert by any means on petfood but dog and cat food is all edible to humans in the US. There's also the WSAVA guidelines (World Small Animal Veterinary Association) which are guidelines for the recommended requirements for petfood. There are shockingly only 5 brands for food that follow them, though a lot more do for treats. With dogs in particular there's been an increase in heart attacks and it is most common in boutique pet food or pet food using exotic meats. In some regards I'd trust eating pet food in an apocalypse situation more than I would a lot of other foods because people adore their pets, myself included. I'd die before I let someone or something hurt my dogs. Pet food manufacturer's are also overall faster about recalls if there were issues on the production line. There's typically more issues with pet food not being cross species safe as cats can't eat dog food, though dogs can eat cat food safely and certain animals just don't really have any specifically formulated foods with the best food for ferrets actually being one really specific type of cat food (Stella and Chewy brand of you're curious). Raw pet food is also not safe for human consumption at least unless it is cooked.
Just FYI dog and cat food and treats are supposed to be human grade because children often accidently eat it because it is on the ground often and that is where young children are. So even actual store bought pet food should be safe.
The fact the husband in the first one checks restaurants shows he _knows_ how severe the allergy is and I can't imagine knowing that and thinking bringing it into your house is okay especially when it isn't even necessary. If you avoid it in a public space why would it suddenly be okay in a smaller, enclosed space in your home??
The audacity of the sister in law!! OP should come back and say only if the SIL would be ok with OP doing a pregnancy announcement at SIL’s wedding haha
A friend's BIL actually did that with no warning to anyone. He asked the DJ for the mic and we all thought he was going to give a toast or something, but, nope it was "I just want to add to this joyous occasion by announcing that we're having a baby!" I was flabbergasted. I swear my friend's jaw actually dropped.
I have a (suspected) dairy allergy that's untreated. My reactions can be anywhere between diarrhea and rashes to fevers and some throat swelling. Same with beef. One family member didn't get it until they fed me something with beef in (without telling me,) I was so violently ill in their bathroom that they needed it professionally cleaned. They never did it again and go to great pains to serve me vegan food.
@@saraha1514 tbh with food in my country putting isolated parts of dairy in things and not declaring what animal gelatine comes from, I found it easier just to go vegan. It was drastic but easier for my brain.
The lobster one: Sounds like it's coming from his mom. If you zoom out it looks like (probably unconsciously) the mom is making a play to exert dominance over or at least equal status with the wife. Putting her son in a position where he has to choose whom to please. Her need to indulge her son should not have priority over the physical safety or even comfort of the DIL. OMG the number of times I've seen MILs try to keep their grown sons responsible for MILs happiness.
The tasteful version of letting friends propose/announce their engagement at your wedding: In the moment where you throw the bouquet, pause and instead hand it to the person being proposed to/announcing their wedding with a cute little "Tag you're it".
OMG the third one is FUCKING INSANE. Why would you wear a wedding dress for a (redo) proposal??? Why would you expect the bride to let anyone else wear her gown??? Then... also inviting extra people to the wedding, at that late date? Nope, Nope, Nope! I hope the future groom to be RUNS THE HELL AWAY from the future Bridezilla and MIL!
the thing about the proposal at the wedding is so strange. You're ALREADY engaged! Why on earth do you have to take attention away from someone else's wedding to do it over? Just be happy and through a separate party to announce/celebrate your already existing engagement. You can just invite everyone for like a family bbq or sth and then bring out some cute little announcement gimmick like a themed cake or cupcakes (I like baked goods lol) or balloons or whatever. There is literally no need to do it over if you're happily engaged.
I wonder of they are happily engaged, since the fiance thought it was cute and the right to to do was to ask with just the two of them, and She wants an big spectacle and planned out in great detail how he should do it again.. I deffenitly trust my partner to know how I would like it and find a middle ground to how he and I would like it to happen.
I don’t think she is happily anything, as the proposal was apparently not good enough. If I proposed to someone and they deemed it not good enough, I would wonder if they even wanted to marry me.
I went to my friend's house and they said that I needed to try this dog treat which is similar to the ones in the second story. Oats, peanut butter, banana, that's it. They handed it to me with a slice of apple and omg it was so good. Those dogs were so lucky
the seafood allergy one hit very close, I didn't have a seafood allergy as a child. then when I was 16 I suddenly got anaphylaxis reaction while at a restaurant from eating mussels. Luckily, they did have epipens in case of emergency. We have tried (in a safe way) if it's just mussels, and it seems to be the case, but really if somebody has an allergy you don't bring the allergen into their house if it's triggered simply by them smelling the thing. Like really... what are those people thinking with to not consider the risks?!
The first one reminds me of my own situation. I developed a dairy allergy at 15, and for a really long time my dad did not believe I actually had a dairy allergy. My symptoms are pretty mild, like indigestion if I consume a little bit but I feel they could be worse because one time I did eat frosting that was made out of butter and it made my mouth itchy. It’s really inconvenient to have someone tell you your allergy isn’t real or valid and it even worse if it’s a parent or, in this case, a partner’s parent. It’s really hard to prove to these people that it’s real because they are not experiencing the full extent of your problems with you, and therefore don’t understand or think you might be overreacting.
I’m so with you on the proposal thing. I think if somebody has just achieved something (graduating, running a marathon, whatever) you should never propose to them unless you know they are ok with that. Let them enjoy their achievement and make the proposal a whole different special thing! However if the person doing the achieving wants to propose that’s entirely up to them! Just my opinion. If anyone tries to upstage me achieving anything by proposing to me I’d be so mad 🤣
Especially with graduations. It is often not just your day, but others too. There are often a whole bunch of people who are celebrating a wonderful achievement and proprosing to someone takes the focus away from all of them. If it doesn't it ends up taking away the focus from the proposal.
The one with the "dog" food I don't get the issue at all... like it's so cute? That the dog and the baby are sharing? I often share apples and carrots with my horse, it's such a cute and fun little thing to do!
I work at a vet office, and a client today was telling me about the homemade food he gives his dog every day. It was literally just low sodium beef stew, with carrots, potato, and celery, made from scratch. I'd be happy to be served that dog food.
The first one is wild to me. My husband doesn't like fish, not even an allergy he just doesn't like it. I'm not a big fish eater but I enjoy the occasional shrimp cocktail and I actually pre-plan eating it to make sure that he has another meal and that I can even minimize the smell by eating it in another room and usually I eat it on a day my garbage is going out which also reduces the risk of my dogs garbage picking. My husband literally stopped eating onions because I hate them so much. I have a few minor foid allergies and the man switched to soy milk for me without hesitation, he still has almonds around but it is again a minor allergy (I have a worse reaction to skin care with almond oil in it than I do eating almonds). And I've legit gone out of my way to remove every watermelon liquor from my liquor cabinet just to prevent anyone accidentally mixing a drink for a friend who has a minor watermelon allergy. He's very good about informing everyone, but it's usually just easier to put it in a bin before parties that ge attends to prevent him getting hurt. If any of these issues were life threatening you'd better believe all of these precautions would be a lot more intense.
As someone who hates the smell and taste of all seafood and have a sensitivity to it, I feel for her. I have learned over time to get over the embarrassment and just let people know before I go for dinner that I don't eat fish and seafood. Most people appreciate knowing ahead of time.
People out there not wanting to take allergies into consideration. Me who will take not only allergies into consideration, but also lifestyle choices and even dislikes. Because I want everyone to be able to take part in a good meal without feeling left out. I can't even imagine, being fine with someone having to leave the room. And yes, I think disliking a food is a valid enough, without needing further explanation.
I can tell you from personal experience a LOT of people, especially older people, think allergies are "all in one's head" and one is "just being picky." I've had medical professionals not believe me when I've told them I'm allergic to things like latex until they actually see me react to it.
Ugh. Yep. So many people thinking this sh*t is psychosomatic or made up for attention... Trust me, if we had a choice, we wouldn't choose to live with this crap!! 😭 It gets exhausting, eh. Really, really hope better availability of info about atopy & similar topics will help build better empathy in future...?
One of my best friends is allergic to cats. She also has asthma. I’ve seen her on multiple occasions in the ICU because of complications with pneumonia and pulmonia at a very young age, and it was honestly terrifying. I moved back to our hometown two years ago and I live with cats now, so I made extra sure to always see her away from home, as much as it pains me that she can never see my place. One day I went to see her without brushing my clothes and the cats hairs made her react. Now I refuse to see her without clean clothes and properly brushed just in case. Who the hell would want this for their loved one??? Like, for me it was a one time mistake and I felt so incredibly bad??? Over a damn lobster??? Nah girl, dump him.
This was such a spicy AITA episode! I know someone with a severe peanut allergy, who went into anaphylactic shock when someone opened a Reese's PB Cup around him and he just smelled it. Allergies are not something you mess with! The second one sounds like mum is showing favouritism to the other daughter and is a major AH and Oh MyLanta that last one! This seals it; I'm never getting married. I'm just gonna stay single and have a million Saint Bernards.
I'm so sorry but my friend and I used to ask each other if it was okay for one of our barbies to be proposed to at the other barbie's wedding. and we respected the answer, no matter what it was. the fact that grown adults cant manage this with a real life event is appalling. op i'm so sorry you're dealing with this
13:27 : I am engaged - I get married July 20th 2023, so I may even be married once this is read in the future - and my fiancé proposed to me in an unorthodox way. It was in the moment, rushed, and honestly something that I question “why” about a good portion of the time. But despite the ridiculousness that was his proposal to me, I have never and would never ask for another proposal. I have a fun and ridiculous story to tell whenever someone asks and I know that I’ll never forget the whole thing because it was so memorable. I think that it is ridiculous to essentially demand a re-proposal!! Also, WHY would you do it at a party meant to celebrate the love and union between two people that just stood up and promised to be committed to one another until death does them part. Weddings are meant to be Once in a Lifetime events, LITERALLY. Why would you want to propose at someone else’s wedding reception? Seems a little selfish and spotlight stealing to me. If you HAVE TO HAVE a re-proposal, then do it the following day. I am assuming that a number of the family and friends coming would be willing to have a breakfast/brunch the next morning. Especially if it isn’t going to be a dry wedding. OR you can have a brunch event during the wedding week in which the re-proposal could happen. Granted, this is just my opinion and view.
Hey Shaaba, I moved into my first apartment yesterday!!! I'm finally becoming an adult 🎉 Sadly I dislocated a rib carrying boxes up the stairs, so I'm laying in the living room listening to you, while surrounded by boxes
Congrats on the indepedent space... and sympathy for the injury, ouch! Moving is generally exhausting anyway, so I hope you get a decent chance to recover- and heal up!! - before having to tackle stuff outside the house...
I just want to compliment your approach to this subreddit. I’ve recently watched AITA reactions on some other channels, and they often become very judgy and unkind, and I appreciate how open minded you are and how thoughtfully you approach these scenarios 💜
The "dog food" story reminded me of the cutest treat moment I had so I'm sharing :D It was the moment I had both a hamster (Charles) and a Guinea pig (Gribouille) wjen I was like, 9 years old. The first liked apples, the second was CRAZY about apples. And I had more than a half of an apple left from the apple pie preparation, so I cut a cube and a slice (proportional to what they could eat) and I gave them ! And I was so happy to see both my animals eating together so I joined them, I sat down in front of their two cages and ate my apple quarter with them :3 I probably used more words than I could've but imagine a kid sitting on the floor have a -tea- apple party with the smolest cutest creatures ^w^ Also my Gribouille was anormally shy, eating an apple slice was one of the 2 ONLY things he would do
As far as parental egg shells, my partner and I are lucky (unlucky?) enough to both have very difficult parents, so we both understand our duty to take our partner's side over the parents, no matter whose family is involved. Honestly, it helps so much when we leave a visit and I ask if I'm crazy or were my parents rude af, and my partner 100% validates my experience, just as I do for him.
Physician here with a PSA for the first case and anyone with similar allergies: hives plus nausea and/or difficulty breathing IS anaphylaxis, even if it doesn’t stop OP from breathing entirely. Absolutely a “legit” life threatening allergy.
Wow, there are some crazy arrogant people in the world! I'm sorry for the one whose partner dropped the ball, and failed to stand up to his mum over the lobster. Dogfood chick is just being precious, but it wouldn't hurt to apologize to her. She might come to realize her own foolishness eventually. The proposal people are all insane, and the OP should totally rethink this marriage.
Okay but the last one: What you could just do is make sure the bride-to-be catches the bouquet and then have the proposal. Then it's just a part of the wedding.
My wife also hates parsnips! I enjoy them very much, but rarely eat them because when I use them in cooking, it has to be for a meal that's all just for me. She also doesn't particularly like carrots, and I always pair parsnips with carrots.
I don’t get why people can’t be respectful about people’s allergies. Even if it isn’t severe, its never your place to tell someone when they should be willing to do something that will cause them discomfort by triggering their allergies.
As someone who has had a MILD allergic reaction before, the symptoms of allergic reactions like this are absolutely AWFUL, and no one has any right to make someone else risk them just because they want to have a specific food. Go eat it at a restaurant if you want it that badly. It's not hard!
I have a shellfish allergy. My husband is free to eat shellfish at work, at work dinners or basically anywhere I am not. He’s never once asked bring it home. My mother in law has acted like a typical mother in law about certain things, but thankfully never about this, heck she doesn’t even get moody over me not liking certain foods, although my husband doesn’t like it, but that’s mainly because he loves lasagna and is said that since I don’t like it, I won’t spend hours on a dish I don’t like lol (I like all the ingredients, I just don’t like the mush of it all).
ngl with the second story there's no problem with the ingredients in the treat given as far as "for human consumption", but I would say I'm kind of concerned that all of the adults thought it was appropriate for a 9mo. Usually when you have an infant and are exposing them to solid foods (especially before they have more mobility and more teeth have erupted) you don't 1. give them something solid and ball shaped that is a chocking hazard, or 2. Give them food with a high chance of allergic reaction (peanuts are a fairly common allergy). Food introduction with infants is a slow and careful process for a reason. Maybe it's all good and the thing was too big or the right shape not to cause a choking hazard, maybe they've already ensured peanut butter is safe with their child... those are just kind of the things that jumped out at me as someone who was trained in early childhood education
Fair enough, but the mother has no right to be upset since she was told the ingredients and shown the treat before giving it to her kid. Should the kid be eating it? I’m not a kid scientist, I don’t know. But the mother was given all the reasonable information to make that decision. The only thing upsetting her is that a dog also got to eat the same food.
for the marriage one: yeah I don't know anything about these people personally, but it... seems like she should really consider if this marriage is the right move. There sounds like there's probably a lot that she's been through if she's no contact with her family, and it worries me that he (the older person in the relationship) has a lot of people on his side to pressure her and make her doubt if she's being reasonable (which she most certainly is), where she doesn't seem to have the same support or sounding board to reach out to. It doesn't even sound like she's asked friends or anyone to weigh in on it, which is equally concerning.
I probably would have given it to one of my children. By 6 months old they were eating cereal based baby food, plus a variety of homemade pureed fruit and vegetables. By 9 months they had their front teeth, and I was mashing small quantities of the family meals for them, as well as giving them small pieces of soft fruit, and rusks. Frozen banana and peanut butter would melt very quickly in the mouth, so long as it wasn't too big, and we don't know the size of the dog it was made for, so that would be my only consideration.
If I was proposing to one of the in-laws in family 3, and was told my proposal was lackluster and cajoled into upstaging someone's wedding... I feel like I might retract my proposal.
The first one made me think of going to my inlaws and not realizing they marinated the chicken in teriyaki, at least I learned before eating. I often talk about my soy allergy, but a combination of people not remembering or not knowing teryaki is largely soy (plus an incredible number of people don't think soy sauce counts). I was apparently being over dramatic and aggressive because I was already on my way out of the house to read outside for a bit and was being dramatic, but I think I deserve to be dramatic, we've been together 7 years. They made me a steak, which I also don't eat much red meat, but at least it wasn't soaked in allergy, just likely cross contaminated as I still reacted to something.
Soy is in so many things! My brother has a soy allergy that I am aware of and I still will be like “try this no meat meatballs” that of course is made with soy!! (Luckily one of us always remembers before he eats it.)
@@jennifers5560 dude, it's a common one and it's sucks, I'm usually good reading labels but lately some foods have shifted to soy oil and are no longer ok. My Japanese coworkers are also so confused by the concept.
As someone who makes my own dog treats, the second story kind of blows me away. I mean, I save half of the broth (pretty much the only ingredient for this type of treat) I make and use for my bone broth jelly treats, So I can use the other half for soup dumplings. Only difference is, I pull that half out earlier. So it has less collagen and doesn't stay solid unless I want it too.
my parents' proposal could be considered "lackluster" my dad had a plan but it got dark so he just proposed in the car and guess what? THEY WERE FINE SHE SAID YES you don't need a redo the SIL is already engaged she's been proposed to ALREADY
I made homemade horse cookies for the horse I was riding once, and the only real difference between them and normal oatmeal type cookies was that they used molasses instead of sugar. I left them on the counter to cool, and my children ate them all.
Cookie-shaped tasty-smelling objects shall be consumed as soon as they are in visual range (I swear, people teleport to them just to gobble them up). Such is the way. Now I want to make molasses cookies...
💛 I used to cook Dog Biscuits for Delta, our Hungarian Sheepdog. 🐕 They had a bit of blackstrap molasses, garlic and some ground ginger and mustard. She adored them, and I used our many cookie cutters (flower, 🌸 heart, 🤎deer,🦌 maple leaf🍁, bunny🐇) Delta's favorite were bunny buscuits, though she liked the hearts, too. A friend came over for tea one afternoon, while I was finishing a batch of biscuits. We already had some homemade ginger snaps in a tin on the kitchen table...you can see where I'm going with this! I was carrying the tea tray (🫖☕️teapot, cups, saucers, lemon, half&half, stevia, sugar) out to the patio, and my friend brought the dessert plate piled with gingery, garlicky biscuits. She said "I snitched one in the kitchen, they smelled so good, kinda on the Savory Side!". (🐶🧄🍯🫚🍪 )Before I could reply, she said "I took a bunny one, so cute!"🐰 Delta walked by, and looked SO Sad! 🐶😔
Something people don't realize is that actual food particles/greases or such (I don't know the correct terminology for it exactly) can actually get into the air sometimes. Kinda like microscopic water droplets being carried on human breath. And depending on how sensitive a person's allergy is, even that little exposure could be harmful. And, yeah, even if she just doesn't like it without an actual allergy-that should still be respected.
The first thing I ask when finding out someone I'm close to has an allergy is to ask "How severe is it? Do I need to be extra careful around you?". Because I know allergies can be really bad. I'd hate to set off someone's allergy just because I wanted to eat something. I am pretty sure that if it is very severe then being around someone cooking with an allergen can cause issues due to molecules in the air.
I carry 2 epi pens with me at all times because my mom kept feeding me raspberry stuff, even though I'm allergic. I now have an allergy so bad that if someone has a bowl of raspberry ice cream 40 feet away from me on the other side of a large, well ventilated room, I will be in full blow anaphylaxis within 45 minutes, need to use both epi pens, a double dose of Benadryl, and an ambulance ride to the hospital while getting an albuterol nebulizer treatment. (Yes, I am referencing an actual event.) Oh, and the 45 minutes has gone down to 15 minutes, as I've had 2 reactions since then, and there's a concern that I may need a 3rd dose of epi at the hospital or intubation next time.
LGBTQtie, I love it! 🥰🏳🌈 I wish there were more decent humans out there like you! I have a person here in my apartment complex who, if you tell him you don't like something, he goes out of his way to put it in things to get you to eat it. He's also gone as far as to hide things in his dishes that people are allergic to to show them they "aren't allergic, it's all in your head". I'm not trusting of him of course! Why do people do that? Like you say, even if you don't like something, then a good person would think of something else to bring/eat! I think the comments people leave for the original post are just as witty/funny sometimes as the original post :)
ok I'm really concerned for that last OP. the age gap between her and her fiancée is one thing, but they're at least within a decade so whatever ig, but then the fact that he sees nothing wrong with unilaterally agreeing to something like this that should be a decision made together? feels very paternalistic and gross. not to mention the fact that she says she's NC with her family, I can't help but feel like she's in a potentially dangerous situation, depending on why exactly she went NC with them and how she ended up with her intended. I'm not usually the one to say "y'all need to break up" but in this case I think they at the very least need to pump the brakes because right now it sounds like she'd be marrying into a family whose primary occupation is manufacturing red flags. and if the reasons she went NC with her bio-fam are trauma related, I'd say therapy would be a better option than rushing into marriage. you can't be the best version of yourself or the best partner for someone else if you haven't done the work you need to heal first.
My parents have about the same age gap, and they're happy and healthy in their relationship; step-mom came into our lives when she was 25. So, the gap itself can be benign. But as you pointed out, combined with other factors where the husband isn't being supportive or protecting OP from emotional manipulation from the family-in fact, he's a part of it-this paints a really dangerous picture. I agree that OP should step back ASAP.
Someone else commented saying they read on Reddit that the OP figured out they were in an abusive relationship and they can't leave :( hopefully she can get out of the relationship safe and sound. Edit: she was able to run away but now she's homeless and abusive asshole is threatening to call the police to bring her back to him by saying she's mentally unwell. Hopefully things will turn around for her
@@Lucifersfursona it grosses me out too lol, I'm just trying to allow for the fact that it's worked for some. I wouldn't go any more than about 3 years either direction bc your lived experience and the power levels are just so wildly different when there's bigger age gaps.
@@artheenbyrogue804 jfc, I was hoping she was able to get out but that's a terrifying update. is she in a place where she can get to one of the DV shelters?
Don't underestimate the rash. That is a full on allergic reaction. Continued exposure can eventually lead to anaphylaxis. There is a reason why when I was on IV antibiotics in the hospital and it gave me a rash they immediately changed the antibiotic to something else. A rash is a precursor to something worse.
It strikes me as odd in the first story that OP’s husband is usually very good at respecting her allergy, but as soon as his mother comes over, he brushes it off. It seems like the MIL convinced him that it wasn’t a big deal.
I can communicate my needs to my mum effortlessly. The reason i even exist is that my father met my mum's parents and realised you CAN have a relationship with your parents not build on authority. All that to say: it's not inevitable. Youre a good person trying your best and if you have kids I have little doubt that your relationship will be good. ❤
I agree with the first one, it's family walking on eggshells. I always get tense and snippy when my mom is coming to visit. Whereas I don't when my dad is because I've never had to walk on eggshells around him. Also the comment that allergies can get worse with repeated ingestion is absolutely true, they taught us this in the immunology lectures of vet school and the professor used his own allergy as an example where hives progressed to anaphylaxis by his third accidental ingestion.
I wondered why "dog food" was in quotes. Banana, oats, and peanut butter are all things a baby could eat, so long as they're not allergic. And Lucy obviously enjoyed it. Would she have freaked out if OP had offered some watermelon and she found out that the roommate's dog also loved watermelon?
The allergy one got me right in the feels. >< I am intolerant to caffeine/theobromides - so I can't eat/drink coffee, non-herbal tea, chocolate, etc. I can't even interact with it, like I've had reactions from hand soaps in public washrooms that had green tea extract. And it has definitely gotten worse over time. I appreciate that my roommate is very conscientious about it, too - we do sometimes have chocolate in the house but he'll make sure it's properly sealed, cleans up, even changes his clothes if necessary. But I can also understand the OP getting nauseated just from the smell of lobster, coffee smells do the same thing for me - if my roommate one day was like, PS my mom's bringing her coffeemaker over, hope you're okay being confined to your room, I'd think he'd been bodysnatched. What a flip to inconsiderate behavior. >< And also in regards to all the commentary about people not believing in allergies, I'm just like... okay, two major thoughts: 1. When people hear about my allergies, often their first response is "wow I've never heard of that." To which I say: try HAVING an unusual allergy, trust me, you'll hear about it a lot more often. It's kinda like, idk, it's just easier to talk about it with people who you KNOW will "get it." 2. To those who think we're lying about our allergies and feel the need to "test" us - wtf kind of gamble are you making? Oh, if I was lying and you had to observe allergy safety protocols for "nothing," you lost what, 5 extra minutes of time you were being paid for regardless? (Assuming this is a food service worker, and if it's not, then you lose LITERALLY NOTHING by believing us.) But if YOU are wrong and we're really allergic... enjoy your manslaughter charges I guess. >.> (Also do you know how many times I've exposed myself and ended up miserable and bedridden because I convinced myself y'all were right and I couldn't possibly really be allergic to this weird thing? It's like the same idea as people accusing gay, trans, disabled, or otherwise marginalized people of doing it for attention... yes SUSAN because hate crimes are the best kind of attention! >.>)
First one: I also have a seafood allergy, and have ended up in the ER because of it. I'm guessing here that hubs is a people-pleaser, and it's people-pleasing more than it is understanding that "allergy" here isn't just "I don't like it," but, "I could swell up, stop breathing, and die, seriously." In his mind, I think, pleasing Mom outranks pleasing his wife, so now he's yielding to Mom. Yikes. This is all about health and safety, not just deciding who he's going to make happy. And Mom, who is insisting on bringing a food that can kill her DIL -- grow up. Second one: Peanut butter, banana, and oats? How is this not just "food" in general? Just because it was made for the dog doesn't mean it's going to poison the baby or turn her into a dog or something. Baby's mom, grow up. Third one: Wait, what? SIL thinks her guy didn't propose to her well enough? Does she expect their entire relationship to be performance art? And worse, performance art that upstages other people's special moments? The selfish ones here are SIL and MIL for hijacking the wedding. SIL, grow up.
Is my SO told me my proposal was lacklustre and demanded a re-do where I sweep them off their feet in a wedding dress lol, I would break it off tbh. What an a-hole
I too make homemade dog treats especially for summer - most of them I make using baby food (veggie/fruit squeezy pouches), watermelon, Greek yogurt, all natural organic peanut butter, banana, frozen berries etc. All perfectly safe for humans and because with dogs you need to watch out for artificial sweeteners and added ingredients pretty much everything I make for my dog is WAY more healthy, limited essential ingredients only and usually organic or more ‘premium’ foods and brands than I would eat myself because those things tend to not have any preservatives or additives. Pretty much any recipe I make for my pup I taste first or even eat some ingredients while making it because it’s all just regular ingredients from the supermarket and if I do add any ‘dog specific’ ingredients like raw meat, organs or something that is advertised for animal consumption only then those things are put on different trays in a different freezer all labeled “dog food - do not eat”. One of my pup’s favourite treats of all time is a blend of watermelon and carrots frozen in ice - can’t say it tastes good to me - those oat peanut butter balls sound actually delicious as a human treat!
About making a big ask (like asking to propose at your reception), ALWAYS start with, “it’s ok to say no.” Give the person you’re asking “permission” to decline without being uncomfortable.
The proposal at the wedding one is ridiculous for both the lady getting married and the poor guy who already proposed to the future sister in law. They should both run another direction and get the hell away from that family.
I have a shellfish allergy myself and they escalate with every exposure. So it may not be anaphylactic yet, but having it in your home could be that escalation. Also I work at a dog daycare and we have scheduled 'treat days' that are dog safe human food that we make for the dogs. And I let my dogs eat some of my food often.
I can’t believe how delusional the family in the last story is. If that happened at a wedding I attended I wouldn’t be sitting there thinking, “oh, how romantic!” I’d be thinking, “what kind of tacky-ass spoiled brat has to hijack someone else’s wedding like this? She really can’t stand to have the spotlight off herself for a whole day, can she?” And then I’d be done with that person. The whole idea is so cringe.
For the last one she is honestly better dipping out of that "family" altogether tbh. Your wedding day is YOURS it is NOT for attention seeking arseholes to gate crash, really doesn't say much about the SIL "relationship" if she considers his proposal lack lustre. When you do something nice for someone, including if money is involved you know that the niceness is fake when they hold over you for ANY reason. She NEEDS to dump his behind and find someone else, not to forget about all these massive red flags and what they are and how to identify them she deserves better than these arseholes.
The only other potential issue with the teething/dog treats story is whether or not the baby has had peanut butter before, as that's something you want to pay attention to when you introduce into a baby's diet
Yes and no. I agree that there often is a power dynamic and trauma which makes it difficult to navigate close familiar relationships. However, I do not believe it has to be so. Gentle parenting is great! :) (Feel free to look it up yourself; I have no more energy currently to expand.)
When I was about 8, I was splitting time between mums and stepdads, and my little sister had some dietary requirements, but whenever I would try to speak up to not feed her certain foods, I would get in trouble. "Respect your elders" was thrown at me a lot, and at one point, I think a book was also thrown at me.
I'm allergic to pineapple. It started out super minor. to the point that I wasn't sure if it was actually an allergy. I'd have pineapple and get an uncomfortable tingle in my throat, but that was it. and I'd hear stories that pineapple is known to feel strange so I started to think maybe I just don't like pineapple. I'd avoid it but I wasn't as careful as I should have been. and each time I had it it got just a tiny bit worse until one time I ate a piece of celery that had been on the same plate as some hot wings that had pineapple in the hot sauce. Guess who had to take a trip to the hospital because that uncomfortable tingle in the throat had turned into my throat closing up to the point where I couldn't even swallow my own spit. But because I could breathe just fine still, the doctor didn't believe me. Luckily the nurse stood up for me and got him to order me a shot for the allergic reaction, which, surprise, fixed my issue! Now I try to be super careful about it because I don't want it getting any worse. I have had accidents since then. Discovered I can't trust some brands of pasta sauce because they use citric acid from pineapples as a preservative, for example. But my husband is with me on it. He double checks where I don't even think about checking. He's saved me from accidental pineapple many times. One time I put ham on my plate forgetting that ham is sometimes cooked with pineapple, and he immediately switched plates with me because he spotted pineapple bits around the ham, and I had just contaminated my whole plate of food. And he's stood up to my own dad who forgets all the time, then tells me to just "pick around" the pineapple bits. He thinks I'm just being picky when I say it doesn't work like that. He reminds his parents and siblings if they are cooking something that calls for pineapple. He'll mention it if I don't first, to friends when we order a pizza for the group. he has my back no matter who we are with. He would never bring pineapple into our home.
The wedding one: Why not when you are about to throw the bouquet, stop, and go to the proposer and say i think this is for you, and then make him go and propose to his girlfriend and let them have a little moment, with the DJ pumping up the energy, and then dance after! This i think could be a super cute way to do it instead!!
I had just had a baby, literally mere hours ago. I'm lying in the hospital bed, baby's asleep on my chest, and my husband's aunt comes bursting through the hospital door "have you heard the news?" Now I've been in labor for more than 24 hours, I'm in barely conscious baby bliss, and I think she's talking about our new little leaf to our family tree...nope! She's going on and on about how her own daughter (my husband's cousin) just found out she's pregnant and she must announce it to the world. Thanks!
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As someone with a severe peanut allergy, the first one makes me so mad. Your home is the one safe space you can control where you don't have to worry about your allergen/s. Anyone who flouts that is a massive A-hole!
My uncle can’t even visit our house because of the risk of potentially being exposed to peanuts. His actually ended up getting worse over the years because his parents thought he was making it up. He now carries an epi-pen and has a tattoo on his arm with the Planter’s peanut in a 🚫.
@@starparodier91 I'm sorry his own parents didn't believe him. That's awful and breaks my heart!
@@hannahbradshaw2186 He was born in the 50’s so I think there was a more “suck it up” kinda view, which is insane to think about. I don’t have any food allergies, but I do have asthma and the thought of my parents not believing me is wild.
The lobster one - omg, so he wants her to leave her home, where she lives, because mommy fancies a lobster? I would be all "sure, fine, set the table In the drive way and tell them I won't be attending, because I don't want to die". The wedding/proposal one - are they insane? Fiance included? I noticed there is a bit of an age gap, that can change the power dynamic, maybe he is a momma's boy and the MIL thinks she can bully her into compliance? Huge red flag, who thinks it's ok to ask the bride to give her wedding dress to someone else during the wedding? What dobyou need to smoke to have such an idea?
Also, I’m assuming that they aren’t planning on bringing their own dishwear/ using disposable dishes. Unless they are being extremely careful (which given their behavior I highly doubt) the chance of cross contamination is pretty high.
I feel bad for the boyfriend being told to redo their proposal.
I think the OP and the not good enough proposer should probably run off together and leave these toxic arseholes behind.
@@someonewithazeldaprofilephotoNot to mention the repeat proposal idea sounds like total ass. The whole point of a proposal is to ask a question, how does that even make sense if she's *wearing* the answer when he does it? It would look like he's proposing to someone else's bride.
@@dragongirl7978it’s totally over the top. Wearing a wedding dress, with the flower girl. If this took place at a wedding I attended, my first through would be that it is a surprise double wedding, as two people are wearing a wedding dress.
@@dees3179yasssss
@@s.a.4358With the level of manipulation happening in this family, I would not be surprised if the "proposal" spectacle was in fact intended to be a honey trap.
"Oh, everyone thinks we're getting married today, ha ha... but it's so romantic! And we're engaged, maybe we just should!"
I was so angry at the "gave 9 month old dogfood" title until the story. When my son was learning to eat solids, I frequently gave him homemade dog treats. Ingredients for infants are absolutely the same thing as dog safe ingredients. Sweet potato, oats, carrot, peanut butter, banana. It's very efficient for a dog and baby home lol. However I see where the mom is coming from. I still had so many hormones whirling around at 9 months post partum. Still NTA, OP was just trying to be helpful and the treats are handmade. Kind of ridiculous for the mom to still be going on about it and refusing to talk properly.
I get being unreasonable because of hormones, but then be reasonable when you've calmed down though. Had a whole conversation with my spouse recently that some people are just unable to say sorry, he says I can't hold that against 'em. But I don't agree on that. It's totally okay and human to make a mistake, but only if you take accountability and learn from it.
Imagine having the audacity to ask if you can get proposed to at SOMEONE ELSE'S wedding, in THEIR dress, with THEIR flower girl in a super over-the-top way that would DEFINITELY take the attention off the bride. Which is bad enough and you remember WHY she wants this to happen and it's because she was ALREADY proposed to but she didn't like how she got proposed to so she wants a redo.
And I don't understand the logic of staging a proposal in which the woman is already in a wedding dress. In what head does that make sense? They were just trying to mess with the bride and with the SIL's fiancé. Break the will of the two new members of the family.
It's really scary that some people can develop an allergy to foods that they weren't allergic to in the past. The MIL is the definite ahole, she knows it could cause a reaction and still insists on bringing it. That's a bad guest in my opinion.
I would say it's the husband actually who is planning to eat the lobster in their home! He should be telling the MIL not to bring the lobster.
That happened to me with pineapple, I had it on the side for breakfast while out to brunch with my fiancee. A couple hours later I was covered in hives and had to go to the ER to get prescribed an antihistamine because the itching was so bad.
I didn't used to be allergic to almonds. Then I started drinking chocolate almond milk in the evenings and got a scratchy throat. I thought it was just dry air at night, that happens. Then I ate a whole almond in a chocolate and my throat swelled up (thankfully not dangerously so, a benadryl took it down). So I can't have almonds anymore.
I'm one of those very people who developed an allergy as an adult.
I know people that have developed allergies to hair colour that they've been using for years. Not fun when you've got colour on your head and suddenly your entire scalp and face break becomes enflamed.
I had to laugh at the "lackluster" proposal bit. My spouse's proposal to me was literally sitting across from each other on the floor of his parents' family room in Malaysia at 3 AM the morning before I had to fly back home to the US and him going, "So, um... should we be engaged?" Also, he then temporarily un-proposed to me an hour later when his parents' confusion over what it meant to be engaged led them to oppose our engagement (they thought it would require us to do a bunch of legal paperwork in the few remaining hours before I left the country). Once we explained to his parents what we meant by being engaged, they were fully on board, and the proposal re-commenced with something along the lines of, "So... are we engaged again?"
Honestly, as tumultuous as that proposal was, it was kind of perfect, because my spouse and I (now happily married for 15 years) have always had this thing about not beating around the bush and always speaking directly with each other. This helped us over the initial cultural barriers we occasionally faced in the early years of marriage, and it's still how we communicate to this day. Not all proposals need to be huge, fancy affairs. Simple and direct can be just as good, for some of us, anyway.
My proposal was us laying in bed one night, and having a discussion about, “we should get married” “when should we get married, before or after grad school” “okay, order a ring and let’s start planning a wedding” 😂
@@lucialma Love it. Straight to the point.
Lol, I planned to propose to my partner, had an anxiety attack when I was about to do it, then had to explain why I was having an anxiety attack. Once I’d calmed down, he said, “oh, by the way, yes.” 😆
@@Redthreadwitchomg that's actually so sweet and romantic! I could totally imagine it written in a novel or film or smth...
We had decided not to get married, and then I got pregnant, still wasn’t sure about marriage.
Then my SIL (also pregnant) had a bunch of complications. My husband came from work that day and said ‘make the appointment, I already filed the papers’ and I didn’t question it. 🤣
The allergy one. I have a kiwi allergy and I had told my partner (at the times) family about it. They thought I was joking or avoiding eating kiwis cause they are healthy or something? So they gave me a green smoothie and I asked "This doesn't have kiwi right?" and they said "No, of course not", so I drank it. Suffice it to say they knew I was being serious after that. Not sure why anyone ever goes "Oh, you SAY you're allergic? I don't think so" as if they know better than you somehow. 🙄😒
What is it with some people??
I finally learned last week that I am allergic to mango skin. It took a while to figure out because I often eat frozen mango and am fine, but noticed that I got an eczema like rash the last couple times I bought whole mangoes. This last time it was affecting my mouth and I read that it can become anaphylactic! So, needless to say, there will never be whole mangoes in my house again. Even "just the rash" has been horrible!
Wtf. That makes me seethe with rage as a fellow allergy sufferer (anaphylaxis). That kind of shit could actually kill me.
@@tkrause1116 yeah, people don't understand how uncomfortable ANY change to your body can be in regards to allergy. It doesn't have to be full on hospital visit for it to be a problem.
@@tkrause1116that's interesting, I wonder what makes the skin irritable for you but not the flesh. Could it be a pesticide? I'm very curious.
I understand that some people can be specifically allergic to egg whites but can consume yolks fine as well (because of the proteins).
I had a look for an update for the last story and saw a few comments from OP. Her situation is much worse than we think because she realised she's in an abusive relationship and doesn't know how to get out. He isolated her from all her friends and any kind of support system she had, monitors her every move by checking her phone and controls her finances. She's in a very scary position and I hope she manages to get out :(
Post-edit: Found an update
"I've run away. Things got worse after he took my phone away. Much worse. I found an old phone of mine in a purse I had at the back of my closet. I walked until I couldn't anymore. Im scared to say where I am because he still has my phone. He deleted the app off of it so I assume that makes it so hes not logged in anymore but Im scared he'll at least be able to look up the account and see this post.
I found a place with free wifi and Im charging this phone but I'm so terrified. I'm homeless now once again. I live in a suburban area so there isn't much place to hide, Im probably the only homeless person here in this area. I need to go somewhere in salt lake I think to blend in more but I don't know how to get there without being found. There might be a shelter or something I can show up to once I get to salt lake. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so fucking scared again I don't want to be sleeping with one eye open on benches again, constantly scared for my life but I can't be there anymore.
He said if I left he would call the police and have them bring me back, can he do that? He said if Im mentally unwell they'll do it."
jesus christ
Holy fuck!
I am lost for words.
My god, you sent me down that rabbit hole myself, and it is absolutely wild. They haven’t posted in a month, but hoping that’s because they are in a shelter now. Sending all love to OP, just looking at how young they are, the fact that this is the second time they’ve been homeless says a lot about how tough their life must have been so far. It takes so much courage to leave a “financially stable” situation, after even having history of homelessness in your youth, because of, at the very least, emotional abuse that prolly didn’t even register for so long. . . Sending them all the love, jfc. Some people aren’t worth the air they breath man. . .
OP done good getting out but oh dear that sounds so hard. Really, really hoping she is safe now
@@nuvuv1I feel you so much! I'm horrified too.
1. NTA, and who tf thinks it's OK to confine someone to a single room in their own house, just so he can eat lobster?!? He and his mom can go to a restaurant.
2. NTA. I can understand the sister's new mom stress; some new parents really do overreact to stuff. But she needs to get over it, and the mom needs to support OP.
3. NTA, OMG, WTF?!?!? My initial reaction was, are you sure you want to marry into this family? Then I read a comment here saying how much worse the situation actually is, and I'm just glad she got away and hope she's safe now.
I feel sorry for the fiancé for being made to make a spectacle of himself in a really bonkers pantomime at someone else's wedding.
You really don't want to marry into that family, mate.
Ditto the poor fiancée. Ditch that dude, bab and run for the hills. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
That last one, O M G. No words. Family sounds like a terrible mix of thinking they’re Main Characters, being controlling, and being absolutely efing greedy and stingy. They’re treating her like some poor relation who’s lucky just to be included in their family.
yes!! This is exactly how I felt about it too. I feel so bad for her, I hope she reconsiders this awful family.
Not to mention...IDK who decided future BIL's proposal was lack-luster, but that's pretty rude to him to be like "No, you must do it over in a public setting!"
@@emilymoran9152both OP and future BIL should run away from that deranged family as fast as they possibly can. 😂
@@emilymoran9152 "not good enough for me" "ok, then I'm out." My engagement was basically me telling my girlfriend I told someone at work I'd love to marry her someday and her saying "does this mean we're engaged now?" and me replying "Yeah, I think it does..." and us being super overjoyed about it. It was fun! I mean, if that isn't enough for someone, then they're not in it for love, they're in it for a big party. Buy the a fancy cake and get the hell out while there's still time.
@@luishp3- Given what someone was saying about updates on the post, that is actually happening and it’s *bad*. 😳
story 3: The part that blew me away the most was 'using the bride's wedding dress to cut cost'. Not that the entire thing wasn't insane.
I think OP needs to have a private chat with the sister-in-law's fiance and they, as the 3rd parties to this crazy family, can discuss the red flags. Because what is never even mentioned is how hurtful this whole plan probably is to the sister's SO who went through what he believed to be a sweet gesture just for them.
To be fair, life is all about money, and this is a clever way to save some.
There's a comment somewhere above where she realized she's in a toxic relationship and he had isolated and abused her. She ran off and ended up homeless. (Hopefully before they married).
Not only that, but the "wearing bride's dress to cut cost" implies that they planned for her to wear equally extravagant dress when it is polite tradition not to out dress the bride. It sounds like they want their own wedding already, not a proposal. A proposal does not require a flower girl. I can only imagine how this potential bride and family might be about her actual wedding if they're this pent up about *THE PROPOSAL*
@@Kimmie6772 Grand theft weddings? Now that's a moral offense! Reminds me of Mordecai from Regular show.
In the last one, he's a fiance, not a husband yet. With all the 🚩🚩🚩if I were her I'd rethink whether or not I want to marry him, because it will probably get worse after they marry. If he's taking his family's side against her before the wedding it doesn't bode well for a happy marriage. Run while you can 🙀
On the dog treat thing - we home make my dog‘s treats, which are basically just peanut butter cookies with gf flower and no sugar. Me and my family have all tried them, and snack a couple every time we bake a new batch. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t eaten a couple when we were out of “human” biscuits.
I made my dog a birthday cake one year which was peanut butter, ground oats, some pureed pumpkin, a small spoonful of local raw honey (she was a puppy at the time and had wicked seasonal allergies the previous summer and the vet said a tiny amount in of local raw honey in homemade dog treats could help in the same way it helps humans and the next year no allergies), an egg, and I forget what type of dog safe flour, but my husband and I definitely tried a slice when we gave it to her. Half of why we did it was in an attempt to give her the raw honey over about 2 weeks because we didn't want to have to buy our dog Zyrtec 😂 it was the blandest cake ever and she absolutely loved it.
Also my mother in law once bought us dog safe cookies that smelled exactly like nutter butters and I looked at the ingredients, they were 100% human safe. Apparently, a few of the dog safe cookies like that are wonderful for diabetics and people with certain food allergies. I remember reading a comment from someone who worked at a fancy pet store about cookies like that and occasionally they'd get a call from a people who had allergies asking them to order a bunch of them.
For those looking for dog safe flours: all-purpose is fine, and if you’re gluten free or need to work with a gluten free flour, rice or sorghum works perfectly well (just add a teaspoon of xanthan gum as a thickener).
@@bboops23 At least in Germany all pet food has do be safe for humans to eat or be labeled accordingly. As a child me and my friends would buy yoghurt drops for rabbits and eat them. We thought we were being funny. My parents were appalled but after checking the ingredients they just shook their heads and let us continue.
@@miralyse.3846 so I'm not going to say I'm an expert by any means on petfood but dog and cat food is all edible to humans in the US. There's also the WSAVA guidelines (World Small Animal Veterinary Association) which are guidelines for the recommended requirements for petfood. There are shockingly only 5 brands for food that follow them, though a lot more do for treats. With dogs in particular there's been an increase in heart attacks and it is most common in boutique pet food or pet food using exotic meats. In some regards I'd trust eating pet food in an apocalypse situation more than I would a lot of other foods because people adore their pets, myself included. I'd die before I let someone or something hurt my dogs. Pet food manufacturer's are also overall faster about recalls if there were issues on the production line. There's typically more issues with pet food not being cross species safe as cats can't eat dog food, though dogs can eat cat food safely and certain animals just don't really have any specifically formulated foods with the best food for ferrets actually being one really specific type of cat food (Stella and Chewy brand of you're curious). Raw pet food is also not safe for human consumption at least unless it is cooked.
That last story is why I refused any and all financial offers when wedding planning. Can't try to control the event if you didn't contribute 💜
Just FYI dog and cat food and treats are supposed to be human grade because children often accidently eat it because it is on the ground often and that is where young children are. So even actual store bought pet food should be safe.
The fact the husband in the first one checks restaurants shows he _knows_ how severe the allergy is and I can't imagine knowing that and thinking bringing it into your house is okay especially when it isn't even necessary. If you avoid it in a public space why would it suddenly be okay in a smaller, enclosed space in your home??
The audacity of the sister in law!! OP should come back and say only if the SIL would be ok with OP doing a pregnancy announcement at SIL’s wedding haha
A friend's BIL actually did that with no warning to anyone. He asked the DJ for the mic and we all thought he was going to give a toast or something, but, nope it was "I just want to add to this joyous occasion by announcing that we're having a baby!" I was flabbergasted. I swear my friend's jaw actually dropped.
I have a (suspected) dairy allergy that's untreated. My reactions can be anywhere between diarrhea and rashes to fevers and some throat swelling. Same with beef. One family member didn't get it until they fed me something with beef in (without telling me,) I was so violently ill in their bathroom that they needed it professionally cleaned. They never did it again and go to great pains to serve me vegan food.
You might have an allergy to whey protein, my aunt has one and it sounds a lot like that
@@saraha1514 tbh with food in my country putting isolated parts of dairy in things and not declaring what animal gelatine comes from, I found it easier just to go vegan. It was drastic but easier for my brain.
The lobster one: Sounds like it's coming from his mom. If you zoom out it looks like (probably unconsciously) the mom is making a play to exert dominance over or at least equal status with the wife. Putting her son in a position where he has to choose whom to please.
Her need to indulge her son should not have priority over the physical safety or even comfort of the DIL.
OMG the number of times I've seen MILs try to keep their grown sons responsible for MILs happiness.
The tasteful version of letting friends propose/announce their engagement at your wedding: In the moment where you throw the bouquet, pause and instead hand it to the person being proposed to/announcing their wedding with a cute little "Tag you're it".
OMG the third one is FUCKING INSANE. Why would you wear a wedding dress for a (redo) proposal??? Why would you expect the bride to let anyone else wear her gown??? Then... also inviting extra people to the wedding, at that late date? Nope, Nope, Nope! I hope the future groom to be RUNS THE HELL AWAY from the future Bridezilla and MIL!
the thing about the proposal at the wedding is so strange. You're ALREADY engaged! Why on earth do you have to take attention away from someone else's wedding to do it over? Just be happy and through a separate party to announce/celebrate your already existing engagement. You can just invite everyone for like a family bbq or sth and then bring out some cute little announcement gimmick like a themed cake or cupcakes (I like baked goods lol) or balloons or whatever. There is literally no need to do it over if you're happily engaged.
literally though. could even make it a potluck to limit costs if that's a concern!
I wonder of they are happily engaged, since the fiance thought it was cute and the right to to do was to ask with just the two of them, and She wants an big spectacle and planned out in great detail how he should do it again.. I deffenitly trust my partner to know how I would like it and find a middle ground to how he and I would like it to happen.
I don’t think she is happily anything, as the proposal was apparently not good enough. If I proposed to someone and they deemed it not good enough, I would wonder if they even wanted to marry me.
I went to my friend's house and they said that I needed to try this dog treat which is similar to the ones in the second story. Oats, peanut butter, banana, that's it. They handed it to me with a slice of apple and omg it was so good. Those dogs were so lucky
3rd story: i really hope both OP and sil's fiance run away as far as they can. this family is such a huge red flag
the seafood allergy one hit very close, I didn't have a seafood allergy as a child. then when I was 16 I suddenly got anaphylaxis reaction while at a restaurant from eating mussels. Luckily, they did have epipens in case of emergency.
We have tried (in a safe way) if it's just mussels, and it seems to be the case, but really if somebody has an allergy you don't bring the allergen into their house if it's triggered simply by them smelling the thing. Like really... what are those people thinking with to not consider the risks?!
The first one reminds me of my own situation. I developed a dairy allergy at 15, and for a really long time my dad did not believe I actually had a dairy allergy. My symptoms are pretty mild, like indigestion if I consume a little bit but I feel they could be worse because one time I did eat frosting that was made out of butter and it made my mouth itchy. It’s really inconvenient to have someone tell you your allergy isn’t real or valid and it even worse if it’s a parent or, in this case, a partner’s parent. It’s really hard to prove to these people that it’s real because they are not experiencing the full extent of your problems with you, and therefore don’t understand or think you might be overreacting.
I’m so with you on the proposal thing. I think if somebody has just achieved something (graduating, running a marathon, whatever) you should never propose to them unless you know they are ok with that. Let them enjoy their achievement and make the proposal a whole different special thing! However if the person doing the achieving wants to propose that’s entirely up to them! Just my opinion. If anyone tries to upstage me achieving anything by proposing to me I’d be so mad 🤣
Especially with graduations. It is often not just your day, but others too. There are often a whole bunch of people who are celebrating a wonderful achievement and proprosing to someone takes the focus away from all of them. If it doesn't it ends up taking away the focus from the proposal.
I agree with you, but then I hate public proposals entirely and I'm not fond of engagement rings either.
The one with the "dog" food I don't get the issue at all... like it's so cute? That the dog and the baby are sharing? I often share apples and carrots with my horse, it's such a cute and fun little thing to do!
I work at a vet office, and a client today was telling me about the homemade food he gives his dog every day. It was literally just low sodium beef stew, with carrots, potato, and celery, made from scratch. I'd be happy to be served that dog food.
The first one is wild to me. My husband doesn't like fish, not even an allergy he just doesn't like it. I'm not a big fish eater but I enjoy the occasional shrimp cocktail and I actually pre-plan eating it to make sure that he has another meal and that I can even minimize the smell by eating it in another room and usually I eat it on a day my garbage is going out which also reduces the risk of my dogs garbage picking. My husband literally stopped eating onions because I hate them so much. I have a few minor foid allergies and the man switched to soy milk for me without hesitation, he still has almonds around but it is again a minor allergy (I have a worse reaction to skin care with almond oil in it than I do eating almonds). And I've legit gone out of my way to remove every watermelon liquor from my liquor cabinet just to prevent anyone accidentally mixing a drink for a friend who has a minor watermelon allergy. He's very good about informing everyone, but it's usually just easier to put it in a bin before parties that ge attends to prevent him getting hurt. If any of these issues were life threatening you'd better believe all of these precautions would be a lot more intense.
That last one.....Who the hell would ever think that was okay to do at someone else's wedding?!
As someone who hates the smell and taste of all seafood and have a sensitivity to it, I feel for her. I have learned over time to get over the embarrassment and just let people know before I go for dinner that I don't eat fish and seafood. Most people appreciate knowing ahead of time.
People out there not wanting to take allergies into consideration. Me who will take not only allergies into consideration, but also lifestyle choices and even dislikes. Because I want everyone to be able to take part in a good meal without feeling left out. I can't even imagine, being fine with someone having to leave the room. And yes, I think disliking a food is a valid enough, without needing further explanation.
I can tell you from personal experience a LOT of people, especially older people, think allergies are "all in one's head" and one is "just being picky." I've had medical professionals not believe me when I've told them I'm allergic to things like latex until they actually see me react to it.
Ugh. Yep. So many people thinking this sh*t is psychosomatic or made up for attention... Trust me, if we had a choice, we wouldn't choose to live with this crap!! 😭 It gets exhausting, eh. Really, really hope better availability of info about atopy & similar topics will help build better empathy in future...?
One of my best friends is allergic to cats. She also has asthma. I’ve seen her on multiple occasions in the ICU because of complications with pneumonia and pulmonia at a very young age, and it was honestly terrifying.
I moved back to our hometown two years ago and I live with cats now, so I made extra sure to always see her away from home, as much as it pains me that she can never see my place. One day I went to see her without brushing my clothes and the cats hairs made her react.
Now I refuse to see her without clean clothes and properly brushed just in case.
Who the hell would want this for their loved one??? Like, for me it was a one time mistake and I felt so incredibly bad??? Over a damn lobster??? Nah girl, dump him.
One of my best friends is allergic to onions and garlic, her husband ignored that repeatedly... he's now her exhusband
Not trying to be controversial or anything but, I like cheese
Cheese?! How dare you?
I like cheese too 😊
@@celticphoenix2579 omg it's so good right?
As a displaced Wisconsinite, I fully agree. Cheese is amazing!
Cheese? The best dairy product to exist
Fun fact, cheese in Swedish is called ost, and I use it as one of my vocal stims (I’m autistic) 😌
This was such a spicy AITA episode! I know someone with a severe peanut allergy, who went into anaphylactic shock when someone opened a Reese's PB Cup around him and he just smelled it. Allergies are not something you mess with! The second one sounds like mum is showing favouritism to the other daughter and is a major AH and Oh MyLanta that last one! This seals it; I'm never getting married. I'm just gonna stay single and have a million Saint Bernards.
I'm so sorry but my friend and I used to ask each other if it was okay for one of our barbies to be proposed to at the other barbie's wedding. and we respected the answer, no matter what it was. the fact that grown adults cant manage this with a real life event is appalling. op i'm so sorry you're dealing with this
13:27 : I am engaged - I get married July 20th 2023, so I may even be married once this is read in the future - and my fiancé proposed to me in an unorthodox way. It was in the moment, rushed, and honestly something that I question “why” about a good portion of the time. But despite the ridiculousness that was his proposal to me, I have never and would never ask for another proposal.
I have a fun and ridiculous story to tell whenever someone asks and I know that I’ll never forget the whole thing because it was so memorable. I think that it is ridiculous to essentially demand a re-proposal!!
Also, WHY would you do it at a party meant to celebrate the love and union between two people that just stood up and promised to be committed to one another until death does them part. Weddings are meant to be Once in a Lifetime events, LITERALLY. Why would you want to propose at someone else’s wedding reception? Seems a little selfish and spotlight stealing to me.
If you HAVE TO HAVE a re-proposal, then do it the following day. I am assuming that a number of the family and friends coming would be willing to have a breakfast/brunch the next morning. Especially if it isn’t going to be a dry wedding. OR you can have a brunch event during the wedding week in which the re-proposal could happen.
Granted, this is just my opinion and view.
Shaaba, as you said, everyone should eat home made, yummy 'dog' treats... except my kid1 who has a peanut allergy. Uniting 2 of the stories in 1.
Hey Shaaba, I moved into my first apartment yesterday!!! I'm finally becoming an adult 🎉 Sadly I dislocated a rib carrying boxes up the stairs, so I'm laying in the living room listening to you, while surrounded by boxes
oof, get well soon!
Congrats on the indepedent space... and sympathy for the injury, ouch! Moving is generally exhausting anyway, so I hope you get a decent chance to recover- and heal up!! - before having to tackle stuff outside the house...
I just want to compliment your approach to this subreddit. I’ve recently watched AITA reactions on some other channels, and they often become very judgy and unkind, and I appreciate how open minded you are and how thoughtfully you approach these scenarios 💜
I don't understand proposing at someone else's wedding AT ALL.
The "dog food" story reminded me of the cutest treat moment I had so I'm sharing :D
It was the moment I had both a hamster (Charles) and a Guinea pig (Gribouille) wjen I was like, 9 years old. The first liked apples, the second was CRAZY about apples.
And I had more than a half of an apple left from the apple pie preparation, so I cut a cube and a slice (proportional to what they could eat) and I gave them ! And I was so happy to see both my animals eating together so I joined them, I sat down in front of their two cages and ate my apple quarter with them :3
I probably used more words than I could've but imagine a kid sitting on the floor have a -tea- apple party with the smolest cutest creatures ^w^
Also my Gribouille was anormally shy, eating an apple slice was one of the 2 ONLY things he would do
So many of these issues seem like products of weaponized incompetence on the part of husbands or fiancés
As far as parental egg shells, my partner and I are lucky (unlucky?) enough to both have very difficult parents, so we both understand our duty to take our partner's side over the parents, no matter whose family is involved. Honestly, it helps so much when we leave a visit and I ask if I'm crazy or were my parents rude af, and my partner 100% validates my experience, just as I do for him.
Physician here with a PSA for the first case and anyone with similar allergies: hives plus nausea and/or difficulty breathing IS anaphylaxis, even if it doesn’t stop OP from breathing entirely. Absolutely a “legit” life threatening allergy.
Wow, there are some crazy arrogant people in the world! I'm sorry for the one whose partner dropped the ball, and failed to stand up to his mum over the lobster. Dogfood chick is just being precious, but it wouldn't hurt to apologize to her. She might come to realize her own foolishness eventually. The proposal people are all insane, and the OP should totally rethink this marriage.
So my mother makes dog food sometimes that...well...add a little seasoning and it's not only "people food," but actually really good!
That last one...just WTF?! Girl, RUN
Okay but the last one:
What you could just do is make sure the bride-to-be catches the bouquet and then have the proposal. Then it's just a part of the wedding.
And don't make the bride give her dress to SIL or even her flowergirl
My wife also hates parsnips! I enjoy them very much, but rarely eat them because when I use them in cooking, it has to be for a meal that's all just for me. She also doesn't particularly like carrots, and I always pair parsnips with carrots.
I don’t get why people can’t be respectful about people’s allergies. Even if it isn’t severe, its never your place to tell someone when they should be willing to do something that will cause them discomfort by triggering their allergies.
As someone who has had a MILD allergic reaction before, the symptoms of allergic reactions like this are absolutely AWFUL, and no one has any right to make someone else risk them just because they want to have a specific food. Go eat it at a restaurant if you want it that badly. It's not hard!
I have a shellfish allergy. My husband is free to eat shellfish at work, at work dinners or basically anywhere I am not. He’s never once asked bring it home. My mother in law has acted like a typical mother in law about certain things, but thankfully never about this, heck she doesn’t even get moody over me not liking certain foods, although my husband doesn’t like it, but that’s mainly because he loves lasagna and is said that since I don’t like it, I won’t spend hours on a dish I don’t like lol (I like all the ingredients, I just don’t like the mush of it all).
ngl with the second story there's no problem with the ingredients in the treat given as far as "for human consumption", but I would say I'm kind of concerned that all of the adults thought it was appropriate for a 9mo. Usually when you have an infant and are exposing them to solid foods (especially before they have more mobility and more teeth have erupted) you don't 1. give them something solid and ball shaped that is a chocking hazard, or 2. Give them food with a high chance of allergic reaction (peanuts are a fairly common allergy). Food introduction with infants is a slow and careful process for a reason. Maybe it's all good and the thing was too big or the right shape not to cause a choking hazard, maybe they've already ensured peanut butter is safe with their child... those are just kind of the things that jumped out at me as someone who was trained in early childhood education
Fair enough, but the mother has no right to be upset since she was told the ingredients and shown the treat before giving it to her kid. Should the kid be eating it? I’m not a kid scientist, I don’t know. But the mother was given all the reasonable information to make that decision. The only thing upsetting her is that a dog also got to eat the same food.
for the marriage one: yeah I don't know anything about these people personally, but it... seems like she should really consider if this marriage is the right move. There sounds like there's probably a lot that she's been through if she's no contact with her family, and it worries me that he (the older person in the relationship) has a lot of people on his side to pressure her and make her doubt if she's being reasonable (which she most certainly is), where she doesn't seem to have the same support or sounding board to reach out to. It doesn't even sound like she's asked friends or anyone to weigh in on it, which is equally concerning.
I probably would have given it to one of my children. By 6 months old they were eating cereal based baby food, plus a variety of homemade pureed fruit and vegetables. By 9 months they had their front teeth, and I was mashing small quantities of the family meals for them, as well as giving them small pieces of soft fruit, and rusks. Frozen banana and peanut butter would melt very quickly in the mouth, so long as it wasn't too big, and we don't know the size of the dog it was made for, so that would be my only consideration.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY THIS PERSON?
If I was proposing to one of the in-laws in family 3, and was told my proposal was lackluster and cajoled into upstaging someone's wedding... I feel like I might retract my proposal.
The first one made me think of going to my inlaws and not realizing they marinated the chicken in teriyaki, at least I learned before eating. I often talk about my soy allergy, but a combination of people not remembering or not knowing teryaki is largely soy (plus an incredible number of people don't think soy sauce counts). I was apparently being over dramatic and aggressive because I was already on my way out of the house to read outside for a bit and was being dramatic, but I think I deserve to be dramatic, we've been together 7 years. They made me a steak, which I also don't eat much red meat, but at least it wasn't soaked in allergy, just likely cross contaminated as I still reacted to something.
Soy is in so many things! My brother has a soy allergy that I am aware of and I still will be like “try this no meat meatballs” that of course is made with soy!! (Luckily one of us always remembers before he eats it.)
@@jennifers5560 dude, it's a common one and it's sucks, I'm usually good reading labels but lately some foods have shifted to soy oil and are no longer ok. My Japanese coworkers are also so confused by the concept.
As someone who makes my own dog treats, the second story kind of blows me away. I mean, I save half of the broth (pretty much the only ingredient for this type of treat) I make and use for my bone broth jelly treats, So I can use the other half for soup dumplings. Only difference is, I pull that half out earlier. So it has less collagen and doesn't stay solid unless I want it too.
my parents' proposal could be considered "lackluster" my dad had a plan but it got dark so he just proposed in the car and guess what? THEY WERE FINE SHE SAID YES you don't need a redo the SIL is already engaged she's been proposed to ALREADY
I made homemade horse cookies for the horse I was riding once, and the only real difference between them and normal oatmeal type cookies was that they used molasses instead of sugar.
I left them on the counter to cool, and my children ate them all.
Cookie-shaped tasty-smelling objects shall be consumed as soon as they are in visual range (I swear, people teleport to them just to gobble them up). Such is the way.
Now I want to make molasses cookies...
💛 I used to cook Dog Biscuits for Delta, our Hungarian Sheepdog. 🐕 They had a bit of blackstrap molasses, garlic and some ground ginger and mustard. She adored them, and I used our many cookie cutters (flower, 🌸 heart, 🤎deer,🦌 maple leaf🍁, bunny🐇) Delta's favorite were bunny buscuits, though she liked the hearts, too.
A friend came over for tea one afternoon, while I was finishing a batch of biscuits. We already had some homemade ginger snaps in a tin on the kitchen table...you can see where I'm going with this! I was carrying the tea tray (🫖☕️teapot, cups, saucers, lemon, half&half, stevia, sugar) out to the patio, and my friend brought the dessert plate piled with gingery, garlicky biscuits. She said "I snitched one in the kitchen, they smelled so good, kinda on the Savory Side!".
(🐶🧄🍯🫚🍪 )Before I could reply, she said "I took a bunny one, so cute!"🐰 Delta walked by, and looked SO Sad! 🐶😔
@blaireshoe8738 my son's review of the cookies was "those were good, but they were kind of hard." That's the result of the molasses.
Something people don't realize is that actual food particles/greases or such (I don't know the correct terminology for it exactly) can actually get into the air sometimes. Kinda like microscopic water droplets being carried on human breath. And depending on how sensitive a person's allergy is, even that little exposure could be harmful.
And, yeah, even if she just doesn't like it without an actual allergy-that should still be respected.
The first thing I ask when finding out someone I'm close to has an allergy is to ask "How severe is it? Do I need to be extra careful around you?". Because I know allergies can be really bad. I'd hate to set off someone's allergy just because I wanted to eat something. I am pretty sure that if it is very severe then being around someone cooking with an allergen can cause issues due to molecules in the air.
I carry 2 epi pens with me at all times because my mom kept feeding me raspberry stuff, even though I'm allergic. I now have an allergy so bad that if someone has a bowl of raspberry ice cream 40 feet away from me on the other side of a large, well ventilated room, I will be in full blow anaphylaxis within 45 minutes, need to use both epi pens, a double dose of Benadryl, and an ambulance ride to the hospital while getting an albuterol nebulizer treatment. (Yes, I am referencing an actual event.) Oh, and the 45 minutes has gone down to 15 minutes, as I've had 2 reactions since then, and there's a concern that I may need a 3rd dose of epi at the hospital or intubation next time.
A proposal do-over! Stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Proposal don't need to be a big show. Wow!
LGBTQtie, I love it! 🥰🏳🌈
I wish there were more decent humans out there like you! I have a person here in my apartment complex who, if you tell him you don't like something, he goes out of his way to put it in things to get you to eat it. He's also gone as far as to hide things in his dishes that people are allergic to to show them they "aren't allergic, it's all in your head". I'm not trusting of him of course! Why do people do that? Like you say, even if you don't like something, then a good person would think of something else to bring/eat!
I think the comments people leave for the original post are just as witty/funny sometimes as the original post :)
ok I'm really concerned for that last OP. the age gap between her and her fiancée is one thing, but they're at least within a decade so whatever ig, but then the fact that he sees nothing wrong with unilaterally agreeing to something like this that should be a decision made together? feels very paternalistic and gross.
not to mention the fact that she says she's NC with her family, I can't help but feel like she's in a potentially dangerous situation, depending on why exactly she went NC with them and how she ended up with her intended.
I'm not usually the one to say "y'all need to break up" but in this case I think they at the very least need to pump the brakes because right now it sounds like she'd be marrying into a family whose primary occupation is manufacturing red flags. and if the reasons she went NC with her bio-fam are trauma related, I'd say therapy would be a better option than rushing into marriage. you can't be the best version of yourself or the best partner for someone else if you haven't done the work you need to heal first.
No not whatever you guess, it’s gross, you were right the first time
My parents have about the same age gap, and they're happy and healthy in their relationship; step-mom came into our lives when she was 25. So, the gap itself can be benign. But as you pointed out, combined with other factors where the husband isn't being supportive or protecting OP from emotional manipulation from the family-in fact, he's a part of it-this paints a really dangerous picture. I agree that OP should step back ASAP.
Someone else commented saying they read on Reddit that the OP figured out they were in an abusive relationship and they can't leave :( hopefully she can get out of the relationship safe and sound.
Edit: she was able to run away but now she's homeless and abusive asshole is threatening to call the police to bring her back to him by saying she's mentally unwell. Hopefully things will turn around for her
@@Lucifersfursona it grosses me out too lol, I'm just trying to allow for the fact that it's worked for some. I wouldn't go any more than about 3 years either direction bc your lived experience and the power levels are just so wildly different when there's bigger age gaps.
@@artheenbyrogue804 jfc, I was hoping she was able to get out but that's a terrifying update. is she in a place where she can get to one of the DV shelters?
OP 3 needs to RUN!!!!
Don't underestimate the rash. That is a full on allergic reaction. Continued exposure can eventually lead to anaphylaxis. There is a reason why when I was on IV antibiotics in the hospital and it gave me a rash they immediately changed the antibiotic to something else. A rash is a precursor to something worse.
It strikes me as odd in the first story that OP’s husband is usually very good at respecting her allergy, but as soon as his mother comes over, he brushes it off. It seems like the MIL convinced him that it wasn’t a big deal.
I can communicate my needs to my mum effortlessly. The reason i even exist is that my father met my mum's parents and realised you CAN have a relationship with your parents not build on authority. All that to say: it's not inevitable. Youre a good person trying your best and if you have kids I have little doubt that your relationship will be good. ❤
I agree with the first one, it's family walking on eggshells. I always get tense and snippy when my mom is coming to visit. Whereas I don't when my dad is because I've never had to walk on eggshells around him. Also the comment that allergies can get worse with repeated ingestion is absolutely true, they taught us this in the immunology lectures of vet school and the professor used his own allergy as an example where hives progressed to anaphylaxis by his third accidental ingestion.
What kind of guest brings a host a gift that they know is not liked or even dangerous to the host? That's just horrible manners and beyond rude
I wondered why "dog food" was in quotes. Banana, oats, and peanut butter are all things a baby could eat, so long as they're not allergic. And Lucy obviously enjoyed it. Would she have freaked out if OP had offered some watermelon and she found out that the roommate's dog also loved watermelon?
I had a similar thought--we had a cat who loved corn. Would I be accused of feeding the child cat food?
I’m so happy now
Thank you for always making my day with your videos
Ah so that's why Jamie has his spuds and not parsnips!
It all makes sense now! lol
The allergy one got me right in the feels. >< I am intolerant to caffeine/theobromides - so I can't eat/drink coffee, non-herbal tea, chocolate, etc. I can't even interact with it, like I've had reactions from hand soaps in public washrooms that had green tea extract. And it has definitely gotten worse over time. I appreciate that my roommate is very conscientious about it, too - we do sometimes have chocolate in the house but he'll make sure it's properly sealed, cleans up, even changes his clothes if necessary. But I can also understand the OP getting nauseated just from the smell of lobster, coffee smells do the same thing for me - if my roommate one day was like, PS my mom's bringing her coffeemaker over, hope you're okay being confined to your room, I'd think he'd been bodysnatched. What a flip to inconsiderate behavior. ><
And also in regards to all the commentary about people not believing in allergies, I'm just like... okay, two major thoughts:
1. When people hear about my allergies, often their first response is "wow I've never heard of that." To which I say: try HAVING an unusual allergy, trust me, you'll hear about it a lot more often. It's kinda like, idk, it's just easier to talk about it with people who you KNOW will "get it."
2. To those who think we're lying about our allergies and feel the need to "test" us - wtf kind of gamble are you making? Oh, if I was lying and you had to observe allergy safety protocols for "nothing," you lost what, 5 extra minutes of time you were being paid for regardless? (Assuming this is a food service worker, and if it's not, then you lose LITERALLY NOTHING by believing us.) But if YOU are wrong and we're really allergic... enjoy your manslaughter charges I guess. >.>
(Also do you know how many times I've exposed myself and ended up miserable and bedridden because I convinced myself y'all were right and I couldn't possibly really be allergic to this weird thing? It's like the same idea as people accusing gay, trans, disabled, or otherwise marginalized people of doing it for attention... yes SUSAN because hate crimes are the best kind of attention! >.>)
On the topic of pets eating human food, one of the family cats enjoys eating cooked vegetables from our plate.
You are looking extra stunning in this video.
First one: I also have a seafood allergy, and have ended up in the ER because of it. I'm guessing here that hubs is a people-pleaser, and it's people-pleasing more than it is understanding that "allergy" here isn't just "I don't like it," but, "I could swell up, stop breathing, and die, seriously." In his mind, I think, pleasing Mom outranks pleasing his wife, so now he's yielding to Mom. Yikes. This is all about health and safety, not just deciding who he's going to make happy. And Mom, who is insisting on bringing a food that can kill her DIL -- grow up.
Second one: Peanut butter, banana, and oats? How is this not just "food" in general? Just because it was made for the dog doesn't mean it's going to poison the baby or turn her into a dog or something. Baby's mom, grow up.
Third one: Wait, what? SIL thinks her guy didn't propose to her well enough? Does she expect their entire relationship to be performance art? And worse, performance art that upstages other people's special moments? The selfish ones here are SIL and MIL for hijacking the wedding. SIL, grow up.
Wow these were all so frustrating!
Is my SO told me my proposal was lacklustre and demanded a re-do where I sweep them off their feet in a wedding dress lol, I would break it off tbh. What an a-hole
I too make homemade dog treats especially for summer - most of them I make using baby food (veggie/fruit squeezy pouches), watermelon, Greek yogurt, all natural organic peanut butter, banana, frozen berries etc. All perfectly safe for humans and because with dogs you need to watch out for artificial sweeteners and added ingredients pretty much everything I make for my dog is WAY more healthy, limited essential ingredients only and usually organic or more ‘premium’ foods and brands than I would eat myself because those things tend to not have any preservatives or additives. Pretty much any recipe I make for my pup I taste first or even eat some ingredients while making it because it’s all just regular ingredients from the supermarket and if I do add any ‘dog specific’ ingredients like raw meat, organs or something that is advertised for animal consumption only then those things are put on different trays in a different freezer all labeled “dog food - do not eat”.
One of my pup’s favourite treats of all time is a blend of watermelon and carrots frozen in ice - can’t say it tastes good to me - those oat peanut butter balls sound actually delicious as a human treat!
About making a big ask (like asking to propose at your reception), ALWAYS start with, “it’s ok to say no.” Give the person you’re asking “permission” to decline without being uncomfortable.
The proposal at the wedding one is ridiculous for both the lady getting married and the poor guy who already proposed to the future sister in law. They should both run another direction and get the hell away from that family.
I have a shellfish allergy myself and they escalate with every exposure. So it may not be anaphylactic yet, but having it in your home could be that escalation. Also I work at a dog daycare and we have scheduled 'treat days' that are dog safe human food that we make for the dogs. And I let my dogs eat some of my food often.
My parents modelled such amazing in-law relationships that I can’t imagine shaming them by treating an in-law poorly.❤
I can’t believe how delusional the family in the last story is. If that happened at a wedding I attended I wouldn’t be sitting there thinking, “oh, how romantic!” I’d be thinking, “what kind of tacky-ass spoiled brat has to hijack someone else’s wedding like this? She really can’t stand to have the spotlight off herself for a whole day, can she?” And then I’d be done with that person. The whole idea is so cringe.
That bride needs to call off that wedding right away!
10:19 thank you for validating that it (confrontation) is not in fact simple lol ❤ but also yeah OPs mum was mega unhelpful.
For the last one she is honestly better dipping out of that "family" altogether tbh.
Your wedding day is YOURS it is NOT for attention seeking arseholes to gate crash, really doesn't say much about the SIL "relationship" if she considers his proposal lack lustre.
When you do something nice for someone, including if money is involved you know that the niceness is fake when they hold over you for ANY reason.
She NEEDS to dump his behind and find someone else, not to forget about all these massive red flags and what they are and how to identify them she deserves better than these arseholes.
The only other potential issue with the teething/dog treats story is whether or not the baby has had peanut butter before, as that's something you want to pay attention to when you introduce into a baby's diet
Yes and no. I agree that there often is a power dynamic and trauma which makes it difficult to navigate close familiar relationships. However, I do not believe it has to be so.
Gentle parenting is great! :)
(Feel free to look it up yourself; I have no more energy currently to expand.)
When I was about 8, I was splitting time between mums and stepdads, and my little sister had some dietary requirements, but whenever I would try to speak up to not feed her certain foods, I would get in trouble. "Respect your elders" was thrown at me a lot, and at one point, I think a book was also thrown at me.
I legit cracked up when you explained the “dog food” situation by comparing it to “dog air”😭
I'm allergic to pineapple. It started out super minor. to the point that I wasn't sure if it was actually an allergy. I'd have pineapple and get an uncomfortable tingle in my throat, but that was it. and I'd hear stories that pineapple is known to feel strange so I started to think maybe I just don't like pineapple. I'd avoid it but I wasn't as careful as I should have been. and each time I had it it got just a tiny bit worse until one time I ate a piece of celery that had been on the same plate as some hot wings that had pineapple in the hot sauce. Guess who had to take a trip to the hospital because that uncomfortable tingle in the throat had turned into my throat closing up to the point where I couldn't even swallow my own spit. But because I could breathe just fine still, the doctor didn't believe me. Luckily the nurse stood up for me and got him to order me a shot for the allergic reaction, which, surprise, fixed my issue! Now I try to be super careful about it because I don't want it getting any worse. I have had accidents since then. Discovered I can't trust some brands of pasta sauce because they use citric acid from pineapples as a preservative, for example. But my husband is with me on it. He double checks where I don't even think about checking. He's saved me from accidental pineapple many times. One time I put ham on my plate forgetting that ham is sometimes cooked with pineapple, and he immediately switched plates with me because he spotted pineapple bits around the ham, and I had just contaminated my whole plate of food. And he's stood up to my own dad who forgets all the time, then tells me to just "pick around" the pineapple bits. He thinks I'm just being picky when I say it doesn't work like that. He reminds his parents and siblings if they are cooking something that calls for pineapple. He'll mention it if I don't first, to friends when we order a pizza for the group. he has my back no matter who we are with. He would never bring pineapple into our home.
OMG YOUR DAD 😢 I have a friend who had a similar trajectory with her pineapple allergy.
The wedding one:
Why not when you are about to throw the bouquet, stop, and go to the proposer and say i think this is for you, and then make him go and propose to his girlfriend and let them have a little moment, with the DJ pumping up the energy, and then dance after!
This i think could be a super cute way to do it instead!!
I had just had a baby, literally mere hours ago. I'm lying in the hospital bed, baby's asleep on my chest, and my husband's aunt comes bursting through the hospital door "have you heard the news?" Now I've been in labor for more than 24 hours, I'm in barely conscious baby bliss, and I think she's talking about our new little leaf to our family tree...nope! She's going on and on about how her own daughter (my husband's cousin) just found out she's pregnant and she must announce it to the world. Thanks!