Me and my wife are starting counseling next week I am hoping the no secrets policy plays out in my favor as my wife loves to talk I may possibly find out more than my wife ever told me? Even if it hurts I want to know anything she may be holding back? It will be the only way to move forward or make the ultimate decision to call it quits
@@Timetimetimelo So far good we will cover much more specific issues in the weeks to come my wife has already lied about 1 or 2 things I will cover with the counselor my next session
Hello Gabriel, your video was very helpful, what training/certification will you recommend to a therapist to equip them to provide effective couples therapy. thanks
Hi thank you. Glad it was helpful! :) When it comes to couples training, anything with the Gottman Institute is great and a renowned standard when it comes to couples treatment. :)
That is a tough one. Therapy definitely only works if the person in treatment is willing to do the work. Are they wanting to work on things within the relationship and identify that something can change regardless if they think it's on them or not?
@@soaringfamiliescounseling He said he would go to counseling if I paid for it. I know he is controling when he doesn't mean to probably or doesn't realize, and criticizes me. I'm walking on eggshell with him, because I don't know when he will lose his temper. Or get frustrated. So this is why getting a therapist will help this situation. So I feel safe when talking to him.
@@superviper Understandable. I would definitely recommend vetting your therapist to see who would be the best fit to help support and advocate with you and feels comfortable working with these personalities. Definitely take your time and find the best fit for your needs. :)
@@superviper Get a therapist for *you*... If he doesn't want to go, you go. Trust me, the therapist will help you a lot whether he's there or not. And if you're paying for it, it's just as well that you are investing in your own mental health. I wish you the best with your relationships
I wholeheartedly agree with no secrets. I made decisions based on secrets that were kept from me. My whole life would be different now if I knew everything. Keeping secrets takes away the one person’s right to make decisions with the same knowledge that the other person has.
Im a little confused what he meant by "no secrets". Does he mean do not bring up things that are considered "secrets" during the couples therapy session?
@@Haruzumakiimeans the therapist isn't a participant in the relationship, he's a judicature. For example you and I are the couple, I upset you multiple ways and I apologised for only a specific parts I felt myself at fault for (not all of it). You're still upset but can't talk to me because I'll get mad at you "But I already said sorry" so you text the therapist your point. The "no secrets" would be you asked him to not say anything to avoid confronting me about it as we're already fighting all the time and you want peace. He won't keep that to himself and help you challenge me on how I apologised and only took partial responsibility. Maybe the therapist will find I was wrong, maybe the therapist would have a different view that I was right because I wasnt responsible for some things. The third party can't hold secrets because their job is to help me and you talk and withholding information and feelings means we'd both hurt each other more often and way more deeply than either had thought they were.
Comment below with any questions regarding couples counseling. :)
Hello Gabriel, what trainings or certification will you recommend to a new therapist to equipment them in providing couples therapy
@@naamautahiru4395 Hello,
Anything from the Gottman institute is a good option for training. :)
Thank you ,I appreciate you.
@@soaringfamiliescounseling I answered one of my own volition, sorry about that. I think I kept in the spirit of the process though
Me and my wife are starting counseling next week I am hoping the no secrets policy plays out in my favor as my wife loves to talk I may possibly find out more than my wife ever told me? Even if it hurts I want to know anything she may be holding back? It will be the only way to move forward or make the ultimate decision to call it quits
How did it go
@@Timetimetimelo So far good we will cover much more specific issues in the weeks to come my wife has already lied about 1 or 2 things I will cover with the counselor my next session
Thank you!
Hope it helped. :)
Hello Gabriel, your video was very helpful, what training/certification will you recommend to a therapist to equip them to provide effective couples therapy. thanks
Hi thank you. Glad it was helpful! :) When it comes to couples training, anything with the Gottman Institute is great and a renowned standard when it comes to couples treatment. :)
What do you do for people who have a partner that has anger issues? And can't admit he does?
That is a tough one. Therapy definitely only works if the person in treatment is willing to do the work. Are they wanting to work on things within the relationship and identify that something can change regardless if they think it's on them or not?
@@soaringfamiliescounseling He said he would go to counseling if I paid for it. I know he is controling when he doesn't mean to probably or doesn't realize, and criticizes me. I'm walking on eggshell with him, because I don't know when he will lose his temper. Or get frustrated. So this is why getting a therapist will help this situation. So I feel safe when talking to him.
@@soaringfamiliescounseling Also he thinks it's a waist of time, but I feel like this could really help the situation. As long as I pay for it.
@@superviper Understandable. I would definitely recommend vetting your therapist to see who would be the best fit to help support and advocate with you and feels comfortable working with these personalities. Definitely take your time and find the best fit for your needs. :)
@@superviper Get a therapist for *you*... If he doesn't want to go, you go. Trust me, the therapist will help you a lot whether he's there or not. And if you're paying for it, it's just as well that you are investing in your own mental health. I wish you the best with your relationships
No secrets thing is pretty bs, this ensures most sessions stay extremely superficial and no one has a real overview of the relationship.
I wholeheartedly agree with no secrets. I made decisions based on secrets that were kept from me. My whole life would be different now if I knew everything. Keeping secrets takes away the one person’s right to make decisions with the same knowledge that the other person has.
Im a little confused what he meant by "no secrets". Does he mean do not bring up things that are considered "secrets" during the couples therapy session?
@@Haruzumakiimeans the therapist isn't a participant in the relationship, he's a judicature. For example you and I are the couple, I upset you multiple ways and I apologised for only a specific parts I felt myself at fault for (not all of it). You're still upset but can't talk to me because I'll get mad at you "But I already said sorry" so you text the therapist your point. The "no secrets" would be you asked him to not say anything to avoid confronting me about it as we're already fighting all the time and you want peace. He won't keep that to himself and help you challenge me on how I apologised and only took partial responsibility. Maybe the therapist will find I was wrong, maybe the therapist would have a different view that I was right because I wasnt responsible for some things. The third party can't hold secrets because their job is to help me and you talk and withholding information and feelings means we'd both hurt each other more often and way more deeply than either had thought they were.
Get your divorce papers ready