Crippling modern phenomenon keeping kids from school | 60 Minutes Australia
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ย. 2023
- 'School refusal' is a growing issue, impacting young, intelligent children who want to learn but can't get themselves into a classroom - a phenomenon worrying teachers and parents in the wake of COVID-19 lockdowns.
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Synopsis | School's Out (2023)
There’s a complex and confounding issue affecting an increasing number of Australian school students. They are pupils who want to learn but are refusing to go into the classroom. The reason? They feel physically unable to attend school because they are so overwhelmed by anxiety. It has nothing to do with wagging, and as Nine’s Sylvia Jeffreys reports, it’s not a case of them simply needing to toughen up. The reality is the phenomenon of school refusal is a problem that has many teachers and parents very worried.
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This story ignores the huge elephant in the room. What did all the kids do at home while in lockdown? I watched a TED talk where a neuroscientist and child psychiatrist spoke about how screen time is wiring kids brains into functioning optimally for 2D digital world. 2D social interaction, 2D spatial awareness etc. The area of the brain where this happens has only evolved to recognise one reality to function in and adapt to. Kids brains are literally unable to function in the real world with real interactions and tasks. It’s extremely stressful for them and causes high levels of anxiety.
When you take into consideration their dopamine systems are fried from constant stimulation then the real world also offers no rewards for them. It’s time we take the impact from screens seriously. We are ruining a whole generation
Humans are Cattle being conditioned and thier energy, mental, physical, is being harvested by the Holocust Machine know as “Civilization”. HUMANS ARE SLAVES TO MACHINES, MACHINES ARE THE METAL MASTER RACE 🦾🤖🔥☢️🏭💀
That was a very in-depth and logical explanation. It s so obvious that phones are ruining our lives, but the explanation of everything in 2D makes sense.
I will look up that TEDtalk.
Bullsh*t analysis.
I was born half blind and had narcissistic parents who sheltered me to the point of isolated between only home and school.
I can interact in a 3D world just fine. Function is a different story, however that's early life trauma wiring, not years of rewiring.
The government is always wanting more money for problems they helped create. We need to realign our relationships in our families and communities to our natural design. Nobody, including adults, is made to sit at a desk all day and or sit in front of a phone for hours a day. We need to fix the cultural rot destroying us by regaining the stability and joy of common purpose in God's order. There is much more to schooling than preparing for a "career". We need to think about preparing people for life--how to be resilient, how to learn anything, how to grow and preserve food, how to love, how to take care of ones body, how to care about people other than oneself. Soul sucking behavior like substance abuse, misuse of sexuality, worship of public figures, computers, tiktok all have to go and be replaced with activities that nourish our souls.
This is spot on. They're all addicted to dopamine. This is the smart phone generation. Social media also plays a huge role in causing an increase in anxiety in people who have grew up using it.
My daughter is now 30 but all through her schooling years she had many days when she just couldn’t go to school. Her attendance was about 2/3 red of the time. She was self taught because even the days she did go she couldn’t learn in a classroom setting. This is not a new problem, it is just being brought to life due to increased numbers. School is not a good environment for our children.
Thank you for sharing. I'm 30 too, and school destroyed me. Bullying and all that stress... made me hit a wall and fall into a deep dark pit... I'm still in that pit, even if it has gone more than 10 years since I graduated.
same here... I'm also 30.
27… I hated it there
This indeed.
Same with me you know what the difference is and why I am ok and my children because we did things at home to ensure they weren’t psychologically destroyed, many parents walked around with masks isolating their kids in sections of their very own homes, cleaning them making them terrified of neighbors , afraid to even sing a song in the shower. This isn’t school it’s what many people did to others by forcing fear and using isolation for “safety”
My son barely graduated high school, he ended up finishing his required courses online with his lowest grade being a D+ and I said good for you because a D+ is still a grade and he received his high school diploma. Now he works for the labour union making 34$ per hour.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I wish there were more parents who thought like you. That a D+ is still a grade. The pressure on some kids is insane.
A D is still a passing grade. You've done amazing Mumma work by recognising that for your son. My Mum was a teacher and she used to say that to me all the time, "You just need to pass!" Being a perfectionist I really needed her supporting me like that.
This happened to me at university. At first I couldn't enter the tutorials, crammed into tiny studies with strangers, then I couldn't enter the lecture halls, and in the end I couldn't get on the bus to go to uni. Worst time of my life. I was extremely suicidal. I had to drop out, enter therapy, and go back when I was well again. It was extreme social anxiety. I felt like such a failure. I would get all the way to the lecture hall, but could not walk through the door. Frozen. I feel traumatized just writing about it. Luckily I became well again and went on to lead a happy and full life.
These are clearly white people problems.
In West Africa, we think of what our kids will eat. After, the kid just fcuk off to school.
Thank you for sharing your story.
That's tough, I'm in uni now and always make myself attend class but am basically high anxiety the entire time.
It's called being a massive coward.
❤❤❤❤❤
It is happening in the US too. I'm a teacher (30+ years) and even though I've suffered from anxiety since I was a young child, I don't have an easy answer. As an adult, I've learned that cognitive-behavioral therapy is an effective approach. These scientists have learned that avoidance or calming/self-soothing strategies do NOT improve anxiety. Facing the fear and the situation that triggers it does. However, this requires support from professionals. It's such a tricky situation, when and how much do you push/demand. I've definitely been guilty of telling kids to participate and while I have even seen that they often come around and start enjoying themselves (sometimes I question my approach). In some ways, sensitive humans have always existed (read Bartleby the Scrivener). Now, with media-amplified "threats" (of school shootings, bullies, illness, etc.), it's not surprising that more humans feel so overwhelmed that they shut down for survival. We need to explore the best ways to deal with the complex causes and help people find healthy strategies.
Since school shootings are not a thing in Australia, we can rule those out.
As a pedagogue, who's helped many children with all kinds of problems, including anxiety, there's indeed only one way: help them face it. School is mandatory. When a child doesn't want to go for no good reason (like being bullied IS a good reason), then the child needs to be talked to and helped to, but still face the small 'giant'. Indeed, they will find out that they can. But catering to the anxiety is counter productive and producing much more of it. It's the worst thing one can do.
I see kids being disabled by parents, teachers, and health care professionals. They mean well, but are crippling the children.
@@really2345 But I think the mistake is to assume that school is a natural environment. School was literally created as a "feeder" to train kids for the factory environment. As in, that was the actual and explicit purpose set out by the original founders of school in the USA. The school bells were meant to mimic factory timers. It's unsurprising then that this might not mesh well with how a large portion of the human population is naturally wired.
Yes, Bartelby and the brick walls.
This mental health crisis is simply a result of the lack of self-reliance and personal responsibility that is no longer taught to or expected from children over the past few generations. They are coddled to the point of being completely unable to manage real life.
Homeschooling needs to be a choice in every country! Schools are unimaginably cruel and nasty places where to be 8 hours a day 5 days a week! To be forced to go somewhere where we are miserable is child abuse!
Where is it NOT a choice?
@@icankillbugs Turkey, some European countries, Brasil etc
@@ca4305 Well, those are shithole countries anyways so you've probably got bigger problems if you find yourself in such an unfortunate circumstance lol
@@icankillbugsin Germany for example
I partly agree with you, no child should be forced into something that makes him or her feel so bad. But I‘m asking myself: what’s wrong with the school system if a child gets panic attacks when entering the building?? That’s the real issue! Why is it okay that schools are „unimaginable cruel and nasty places“?? It doesn’t have to be that way!
Not all parents can offer home schooling. I am raising my daughter by myself, my husband died from CoVid. And I have to go to work to earn money. But in my country home schooling isn’t allowed anyway. Fortunately, my daughter’s public school is great. Though my daughter is „only“ an average student, she likes school a lot and engages in a lot of activities.
It appears most people struggled during lockdown. I personally thrived. I absolutely LOVED the peace and quiet, the lack of traffic and all the clean air, the wildlife reclaiming their homes with no dreadful human intervention. I literally watched the environment around me rebound back to supreme health. It was one of the most beautiful times of my life. Human influence weighs me down. Being fully immersed in nature without all the noise and litter healed my soul. I wish we could have annual lockdowns. ❤❤❤
The edit was a typo because autocorrect is a farce.
@TheINFJChannel I was with u then & am still with u now. Too much stimuli from the outside world is causing problems for these kids. The parents need to cancel some of that noise out. Quit blaming teachers!
Problem here is that kids are inside on tablets computers tv cell phones video games. They are not in nature.
I was built for this through years of being home 80% of the time before lockdown. I'm disabled and have chronic pain so it was already how I lived. I had to adjust to others being home all day every day, but the lockdown was a breeze for me.
The planet didn't suffer; it gained enormously. Only now am I gaining back my interpersonal skills. It was hard. I'm not a plant
Same, although I did struggle with class online which was pretty surprising considering I am actually quite introverted.
For me, kindergarten began in 1975. I didn't need to ride the bus, so every morning my mom waved as I walked off to school. I barely went. I walked the neighborhood until it was time to go home. Sometimes I showed up in class towards the end of the school day, wandering in with the rest of the kids from recess, but most days I didn't go at all. I hated school. Being with so many other children was overwhelming. I was in trouble all the time for not sitting still, talking, or not standing in line right. The lessons were mind-numbing. I hated it then. I still hate it now. Learning isn't the issue. I study and research things all the time on my own. It breaks my heart that children are still forced into this torture.
Have you ever considered that you may have ADHD?
@@fastronaut909Or be on the autism spectrum? Definitely some kind of neurodivergence going on. Knowing will make a lot more things make sense.
@@fastronaut909 I was thinking the same thing. But I was also thinking, most people have only ever had physical work for the majority of human existence. Now expect everyone to be sedentary for most of the day as children. I don't think it's so strange for people not liking to be controlled like some kind of domesticated animal. I think with strangers that there are quite a few people who are able to sit still as children for prolonged periods of time. Something about that has never seemed natural to me
Agree with fastronaut. Had the same thought: this might be ADHD. Which means your mind has more difficulty then that of most others, to filter not important impulses out. So you react and react and react. It's exhausting! You can't sit still, you need to talk, you're dancing outside of the line...
Look it up and do some internet tests. When they fit, seek medical assistance to get a diagnosis. With that diagnosis you get open doors to many resources to make your life more pleasant. If it's not ADHD, speak about this with a certified clinical (!) psychologist. That type of psychologist might help you figure it all out and help you optimize your chances to succeed in life. Plus it just feels good to be understood. And to understand yourself.
Thats because we had adhd but were never diagnosed so we learnt to deal with like we still do today. All our school reports were the same doesn't sit still doesn't pay attention.. we got used to it then we went to work where we learnt to mask everything and act normal.
This is real. Heartbreaking. Severe bullying ( by coaches/ teachers) seriously compromised my son's mental and physical health.
From South Africa 🇿🇦 ❤
wow this hits home, my sister struggled horribly with panic attacks all through our childhood due to school she was effectively mute! its hard for those who dont suffer to understand, but she would have about 6 a day during in school each 30min, and often could not breath during them (hyperventilation, and closing of her throat) from anxiousness. when she was not panic attacking she was crying or trying very hard not to cry she used drawing as a way to escape and calm herself but was bullied for this, she loved anime. she could talk to me as we were close and she trusted me, but she told me she could not talk to anyone she wasnt close with otherwise it would cause this extreme reaction to stress she had these from 7 years to 22 years, she was very suicidal in her late teenage years, always smart but so debilitated by her anxiety attacks she felt hopeless. She started flunking school at about 12yrs. But got more serious as it got close to GCSEs. Our parents were very success focused and frankly quite negligent, they told her she was being manipilative and was dong it on purpose, we went to private schools and our parents worked all the time, but they would just scream at her how much money they are paying for this, all she ever seemed to get dealt were people thinking she was stupid or mute from lack of intelligence. She was a very sweet soul and would draw as a means of escape, she had multiple teachers rip the drawings up in front of her or snatch them away as they were seen as a distraction, the kids as well were cruel to her and her inability to fight back meant she was a constant target for bullying espicalky once i became older and had to go to my next school. Really though she suffered everyday nobody really appriciated and knew. It makes me cry as an adult now, if my sister where my duaghter i would have taken her to a therapisst got anti anxiety meds and if she was still struggled homeschooled or online schooled her, with the occasional social club based around her interests, to try and get her to open up a bit. She killed herself at 22, she had no qualifications and in her eyes could never move on with her life. She was very depressed aswell as finically reliant on my parents who basically always saw her mental conditions as made up, she was scapegoated of all of us. Its been 7 years now, i dont speak to my family anymore and am scared of having kids. I have a boyfriend but never talk about my family. The only reason i post this is to warn parents of anxious disorder kids to please take it seriosuly and listen to their concerns, school is not the best enviorment for every child.
People would always say she was overractiving, i wish they would have just cared. My parents were tiger parents, they never talk about my sister now.
This doesn’t only happen to school kids. Adults are having the same issues since the pandemic.
True
Yup
Sorry but the F! Lock-Down myth is being brought into lots of Nonsense research by Academicians who need to B.S. about something
for Grants, or a mere Master's thesis. All World Civilizations, from small towns, Tribes, Eskimos, etc., for Millenia, even Modern days'
post Internet Era - does not KILL our Brains' adaptation ability for Language, & social systems, nor do 60 days in Jail, Ruin your Brain!
Yep. That was their plan.
Stop blaming being recommended wearing a mask into stores for a couple years for laziness
It’s comforting knowing the parents understand what their children r going through rather than pinning the blame on the kids for ‘coming up with excuses for avoiding school’
My father wouldn't have had a bar of it...stiff upper lip & all that
it starts here then they try do this for work....they will not learn and survive if you don't force them. You get strong by doing the uncomfortable.
It's actually discomforting that, instead of looking after their kids and finding solutions to their own problems, some parents chose to go to 60 Minutes and make their problems a national matter!
Anxiety can come at any point in our lives. Even with coping mechanisms, it’s still very hard for many people.
I'm telling you it's a silent killer😭😭😭
When I started high school I hated going I had really bad anxiety. But I pushed my way through and did good 😊 The government needs to put something in place to help these kids
@@janetemini5608 ❤️🤗
I don’t think it’s the government’s responsibility to teach/instill/raise the child/children u & every parent out there made the conscious decision to have. This starts at home.
@@artisthusnatalal3099 it really is..
In the 1980s I had very bad anxiety & didn't want to go to school, but my father forced me to go. I found it incredibly hard concentrating in such a busy noisy distracting classroom. I felt I learnt so much better at home on my own or one to one tuition. I hope this highlights the point that not all children should be taught in the same environment. Children have different personalities so there needs to be more varied options for how & where they are taught. This isn't just a fad or a weird generational thing.
wow this hits home, my sister struggled horribly with panic attacks all through our childhood due to school she was effectively mute! its hard for those who dont suffer to understand, but she would have about 6 a day during in school each 30min, and often could not breath during them (hyperventilation, and closing of her throat) from anxiousness. when she was not panic attacking she was crying or trying very hard not to cry she used drawing as a way to escape and calm herself but was bullied for this, she loved anime. she could talk to me as we were close and she trusted me, but she told me she could not talk to anyone she wasnt close with otherwise it would cause this extreme reaction to stress she had these from 7 years to 22 years, she was very suicidal in her late teenage years, always smart but so debilitated by her anxiety attacks she felt hopeless. She started flunking school at about 12yrs. But got more serious as it got close to GCSEs. Our parents were very success focused and frankly quite negligent, they told her she was being manipilative and was dong it on purpose, we went to private schools and our parents worked all the time, but they would just scream at her how much money they are paying for this, all she ever seemed to get dealt were people thinking she was stupid or mute from lack of intelligence. She was a very sweet soul and would draw as a means of escape, she had multiple teachers rip the drawings up in front of her or snatch them away as they were seen as a distraction, the kids as well were cruel to her and her inability to fight back meant she was a constant target for bullying espicalky once i became older and had to go to my next school. Really though she suffered everyday nobody really appriciated and knew. It makes me cry as an adult now, if my sister where my duaghter i would have taken her to a therapisst got anti anxiety meds and if she was still struggled homeschooled or online schooled her, with the occasional social club based around her interests, to try and get her to open up a bit. She killed herself at 22, she had no qualifications and in her eyes could never move on with her life. She was very depressed aswell as finically reliant on my parents who basically always saw her mental conditions as made up, she was scapegoated of all of us. Its been 7 years now, i dont speak to my family anymore and am scared of having kids. I have a boyfriend but never talk about my family. The only reason i post this is to warn parents of anxious disorder kids to please take it seriosuly and listen to their concerns, school is not the best enviorment for every child.
People would always say she was overractiving, i wish they would have just cared. My parents were tiger parents, they never talk about my sister now.
yes and for those tooting the old ipad lockdown flags, my sister was struggling with her anxiety disorder long before ipads youtube and covid. Listen to your kids, and leave whether this a ‘real’ condition or not up to our doctors and those who suffer everyday from it 🙄
@@citizenA-Zyou’re absolutely right. My daughter suffers from anxiety and she’s not interested in iPhones etc. My take on this through my own research is that we have a schooling system which focuses on the LEFT BRAIN activity, this is the part of the brain that is used for memorising, facts & figure’s & analysis. Very good for people who are left brained but these kids who have anxiety are wired differently. They are RIGHT BRAINED, this is the part of the brain which is used for CREATIVITY. Your sister was possibly wired this way. These are the artists, the writers, the poets, the dancers amongst us. This is how they express themselves best. Look at those famous people who flunked school or didn’t quite fit in…Einstein, Tesla etc. I’m sorry for your loss of your sister. It must have been very heart breaking for you. She should have been encouraged to follow her artistic interests. As a creative person I found school very boring as well. I hope people can learn how to help these children from reading your post.
exactly, except the newer gen is more open about it, and the older gen is more about toughening up and doing it, its not good that happened to you
Well, in the US, the school boards can't even handle the systems they have in place. A teacher with a classroom of 30 makes less than a line cook. How could they possibly customize a curriculum for each student, without privatizing all schools?
I was beginning to notice my 9 yo son really struggling with growing intense anxiety going to school. We signed up for online school this year and it has made a HUGE difference. I don’t think that this is the final answer, more of an emergency measure until the education system begins really addressing the reasons students would rather crawl into a hole than show up every day in an environment that feels completely at odds with their basic need to not feel like a cog in a toxic machine
Sooo your solution for his discomfort has been avoidance?! Great job! He's off to a great start! -__-
@@JulieDeuxFoisYes, he is MUCH better off online than in toxic environment in school. At least he won’t be as traumatized as the rest of the kids.
My daughter is doing great online school too, her mental health improved so much. She only attends 1 class in real seated school that she likes. A child can choose any class he or she wants to attend in seated school. Doesn’t have to be online full time. So she still sees kids every day and interacts with them.
@@JulieDeuxFoisin grade 4 my child was having severe anxiety (before lockdown).she would cry everyday after school, presenting with severe OCD. She went to therapy and they suggest we move schools While on a waiting list for the new school we decided to homeschool until they had space. We started homeschool - yes we took her out of the situation.
And then discovered homeschooling worked for her, she was happy, neighbours noticed the difference in her.
Today she is 15 , does singing and singing competitions. Because she has more time she is a drama student with a youth theatre. This year she was in multiple productions. They just finished 70 shows of Matilda Jr the musical on Saturday. - SHE would not have had the oppourtunity or time to take part in something so wonderful if she was not homeschooling.
Homeschooling lead her to the theatre.
If it wasn't for homeschooling she would not have found this wonderful activity and a whole new world.
I know you see this as a bad thing to take your child out of the situation... but as a parent we all want the best for our child.
When you work in corporate and it breaks your soul, you apply for new job or position.
How can we expect our children to sit 5 or 7 years in place that makes them feel worthless or breaks their spirit. As an adult we don't sit in those sort of situations - so why force a child to endure and "grow" through the trauma.
Has your son been evaluated for social anxiety or agoraphobia, and is he getting treatment. One of the big challenges of the pandemic is many people have lost the ability to interact with other people, which is a critical component of being human.
While I’m glad your children are thriving in online school, I hope they are still getting out to see other people, and not just people they know. If they develop crippling social anxiety or agoraphobia, it will be much harder to eventually enter the adult world.
The usual caveat: sometimes therapy sucks, in which case you get a different therapist. Not every therapist is great with every patient.
I really appreciate that the narrator started with “No, they don’t need to toughen up.” I definitely remember feeling this “school anxiety.” I had many melt downs, anxiety attacks and blow outs with my parents before school days when I was in high school. I don’t blame my parents for not giving in and letting me stay home. I often found ways to skip. However that was back in 2009 before we had so much social media, online bullying and access to all these apps. We didn’t live on our phones yet. I think a lot of social media and society is to blame. My senior year I ended up going to a a charter school and graduated early. It was an amazing opportunity for a kid like me.
This happened to my daughter too,she was a social butterfly but after the COVID lockdown and school was opened again she found it very hard to go back to school. She was getting social anxiety.
As a schoolboy in Australia myself, I feel exactly this. May it be noted that a lot of it also comes from mental and physical trauma caused by bullying which I personally believe is the biggest thing. I straight up refused to go for most of term 3/4 in year 8 and term 1 in year 9 simply because they weren't doing anything about bullies. Once action was taken, it was pretty much too late, I had become an absolute mess and I still haven't fully recovered - my attendance is still only in the 60-70% range. There's no actual policy that dictates what the bullies get in punishments and what the victims get in compensations. I think a system should not be left up to the schools because ultimately they're the ones doing bugger all. Yes, lockdown had an effect but I don't think that's the worst of it from a students' POV. School refusals are a lot worse than it seems and "suck it up" isn't all it takes. Another idea is to lower the year at which you can drop out as many kids would benefit from already having stable jobs which most do by 14-16. Those who want to continue schooling should be allowed to, but not forced or made to.
Keep pushing through. It gets so much better outside of school!!! You got this.
here in the United States many kids are feeling the same way as you..... my own nephew was bullied around and expelled when he fought back and then the next year went right back to it and now he's no longer in that school in that town and he is doing so horrible because of all the bullying in his past..... as far as being able to drop out whenever you want and having the Dropout age lowered.... in the United States if you aren't 18 years old and an adult you can't make that decision because you're not an adult to make that decision.... the only reason you can drop out early at all is if you get your GED or signed off by an adult
@@lulugust8140homeschool is also an option......some of these kids at school are just horrible....
100%!!! My daughter has such trauma that she just can’t bring herself and as her mother??! I can’t. I can’t forced her somehow and worry what that next step will be after just terrible anxiety and depression. In America, I am met with such resistance. Threatened. Bullied too by the school themselves! Years of torture. Then Covid happened. We were home. Bullying torture stopped. She went sporadically and then got soo physically sick from going- she lost 30% of her weight and spent almost 2 months in the hospital. I’ve been bullied And threatened by principals- . They’ve showed up at my house! Then kicked her out in April for being “too sick and a liability “. She has not returned to in school. I well NOT make her endure that. Much to their dismay, but her physical And mental health are too important I can’t do that to her
@christinesullivan8977 I'm actually thinking about it myself. I really don't care to have my daughter around some of these dysfunctional children. Homeschooling will be just fine for her. She's in 8th grade and some of the things she has told me that goes on at school is absolutely disgusting. School isn't what it used to be.. These kids have no parental guidance and run absolutely wild!!!
I'm 38 but I'm going through the same thing right now. I do not want to leave my house and have horrible Panic attacks. This didn't start until the pandemic and we had to stay at home😢
Please read my comment above. Trust me, my friend, I know what I’m talking about. I’m hearing a lot of theoretical, academic talk from these clinicians. This is not helpful.
I'm 51 and have extreme panic attacks to the point of passing out I've even tried coping methods but the body is stronger than the mind.
I would imagine the pandemic made people associate outside with an extreme amount of danger, and even more so in places outside the US that literally controlled what people did outside and not just in businesses. But this does mean there are LOTS of people experiencing this and you are not going to shock or confuse a therapist in the slightest if you get help. ❤️ You deserve help to live in the healthier way you clearly want to.
@@FranklyAussie I hope you can get hold of a doctor to help. I know how immensely frustrating that is!! The right meds made a massive difference and finally let me fully leverage all the coping mechanisms I’d developed over the years.
@FranklyAussie that is scientifically incorrect sorry mate u need counseling & mayb meds but definitely counseling. Hav u seen a professional?
School destroyed me.. the bullying, all the pressure and the stress. I'm an adult scandinavian, and school burned me out completely. I never even had the chance to get into the adult worklife. My life is ruined.
Mind over matter. Do you think you’re a special case? When I was a kid, I had a schizophrenic mom and absentee, rage filled dad at home to contend with. I still went to school, where I was bullied for being a shy/awkward kid. But I kept going, even after my mom committed suicide (by kneeling before a speeding train), because going to school is what you do in order to go on to college. Even at 15, I knew the only way to a better life would require school. My bullying was physical too, not just mental. My point to you is, there is always someone who has had it worse than you did, and they didn’t succeed onto University because they were ‘lucky’, they did it because they endured a terrible home life, to the point where school bullies are not the worst thing they’re dealing with.
@@falconeddie4109 I have the right to talk about my hardships just as much as you. I don't need to compare with anyone!
@@elin_ while comparison is the thief of joy, you really do need to grow a backbone
@elin never heard of such a poor excuse to escape the pressures of being an adult
@@susanleslie4809 ok Susan
Over 20 years ago 3 of my daughters experienced this anxiety daily. It was due to terrible bullying which nothing was done about it through the school. The girls were afraid of being bullied.
This is where im at with my daughter. She is 7. It is heartbreaking to see how sad, depressed even, she is. She is on the spectrum, literally off the charts intelligent and is most kind hearted little girl ever. and she is bullied seemingly every day. The teachers will only do something if i escalate the situation. Home school is not an option right now. I'm at a loss. My stomach is in knots every day because I feel like I'm failing. Even though at home she is surrounded by family that loves her and would do anything for her. And all this after she was so sick when she was a baby we didn't know if she would make it some days. Now i have developed heart problems, high blood pressure and all the rest. I don't expect any advice or response. I guess I can just relate to what you said and needed to talk. Thanks for listening.
@@OptometristPrime11235 hey I can't tell you that I understand what you're going through but this is one of my biggest worries that one of my sons may need adjustments to be made that I will not be able to provide then. I have nightmares about it... I also would love to be able to just drop it all and homeschool them but I can't :( I still remember when I was working with my older one during the first lockdown, he made astonishing progress as compared to when he's a part of a big group. Also worried about one of them being bullied as I know how that feels. I'd give anything to be able to make them happy and carefree - they deserve it...
@@OptometristPrime11235homeschool
I understand the parents' pain and frustration. For us, it's the bullying and the lack of intervention. The constant worry about your child, the threats from the school after only 3 missed days (all year not consecutive) to send family services to your home, after 10 missed days the letter threatens to fail the child for the year despite their grades. Even jail time for the parents and fines. I'm in America, Louisiana, to be exact. It's awful and heartbreaking.
This EXACT thing happened to my daughter last year. My husband and I are both teachers and did all we could. What worked for this year was (1) medication as her anxiety was extreme (!) and (2) switching schools to a very particular program run parallel to the school board that blends basic academics with therapy (group, individual, etc). It has been life changing for her!
Keeping cool as one family has done is so important…otherwise you “feed the anxiety monster”. When/if we could get her into a car it would take eons for that to happen, and it was a toss-up if she would go in once she was in the parking lot.
I’m in Canada so it’s definitely not exclusive to Australia either.
Maybe you should stop drugging your kid. Creep.
Had an absolutely awful time in US schools all around the country in the 80s and 90s with bullying. If I ever have kids I will NEVER send them to a public school. Even if I had to become a full-time homeschool teacher for my kid I would do that.
Same!😔👍
Let’s not pretend homeschooled kids don’t lack a lot of skills socially. That’s just not the answer. Better parenting is the answer. Don’t raise a bully
@@brebrown5338 If you don’t bring your kid around other kids, yeah. That said nowadays there are a lot more options where homeschoolers may have some classes together with other kids doing the same curriculum. And of course there are extracurriculares too, like clubs and sports.
But agreed that all parents should work not to raise bullies!!!
And private schools have zero bullying? Try again. Public Schools aren’t a monolith, it always depends on the district, the neighborhoods, the resources…Public Schools are NOT all the same-I went to arts public schools in the 80s and 90s and wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.
@@toriwatson7132 Private schools do still have some bullying but the teachers have a lot more authority to deal with it appropriately instead of having their hands tied behind their backs like in the public schools.
I'm a teacher, as is my partner, and we both deal with students who have this condition every term.. One thing to note, though, is that it only seems to apply to middle-class kids in developed countries, kind of like the peanut allergies. I am not making light of this. It is a big issue in Japan where we teach.
Yes middle-class children surrounded by tech 24/7. And the peanut allergis came from vaccines.
That may be a hint that extreme social media and lack of going outside and exercising are part of the problem. While obviously there are problems in the developing world there are other aspects where people in those countries are living better and we need to learn how to balance that much more appropriately than we do.
I second that this usually is in developed country thing. Our problem in a third world country at about same age is wanting to go to school to take a test and you’re not even sure if you can take the test depending if you can get promissory note to pay fees late to be approved. My parents struggled to pay $10 and it was a requirement to get paid to take the test. Nevertheless, i studied still. I am now an engineer and aspiring scientist. Also, i have to wake up 5am to cook breakfast and lunch at the same time. While, cooking, i study if there is test 😂 so yes no room for anxiety for us too busy
I wonder if lower class families don’t have the financial option to keep their children at home, who may still be experiencing a high level of social/school based anxiety, so the kids have no choice but to attend. While high income families can afford to send their kids to private schools with more resources and lower student to teacher ratios, private tutors and nannies. In both cases, the root cause of the issue of school avoidance, which is the children’s need for physical and psychological not being met, are hidden from view - whether it’s by the children masking their pain (sometimes not well, because it’ll come out as disruptive behaviour, poor attention etc in school) or by not being enrolled in public schools. So the problem is out of sight, out of mind. Whereas middle class families may be able to afford to keep their kids home for short periods of time by sacrificing the income of one parent in order to not force trauma onto their kids who can’t attend these one-size-fits-all schools, but cannot afford to send them to private schools or move to suburbs with better schools or pay for a private tutor/nanny to educate them at home.
Also, and speaking from my own childhood experience, in families where severe domestic violence and neglect are present, despite how awful school was for me, it was still safer than the hell at home. If I didn’t attend, if I was even late, I would get beaten. That doesn’t mean that I was magically more ‘resilient’ as lots of people mistaken it to be, I was severely traumatised and developed a very low self esteem and attitude towards school. That would make one guess I might have gone on to fail subjects, get into a life of drugs, crime etc, but it was the opposite - I was a scholarship student with multiple university degrees and a successful career in IT with a 6 figure salary. But the problem is that childhood trauma, at home AND at school (because I wasn’t safe at school, my needs weren’t met, I was severely bullied) isn’t something you just grow out of. Pain has to go somewhere, has to be dealt with. It either stays in the person and literally eats them alive (many studies have shown a strong causal link between trauma and negative mental and physical health outcomes), or the person passes it on other people (via domestic abuse, workplace bullying, ‘Karen’-like behaviours). Now I have multiple disabilities, had to quit my job and career, and spent the last few years living off my life savings and trying to regain my ability to function by undergoing intensive trauma therapies.
I've been experiencing this since I was a kid, I'm 31 now. It's had an ENORMOUS effect on my life's trajectory. I feel very looked down upon and defensive about it, like I'm lazy or faking it. It's very difficult to stand up for myself and ask for help when I get impostors syndrome about my symptoms, even though I feel them acutely. I don't feel like anyone has ever been able to properly diagnose, treat, or even understand what's going on with me.
I feel terrible for these kids, and very fearful for their futures. While it's awful that it's increasing, I truly hope with more observable cases something can be figured out to help them.
Hey.. I just want to tell you that you're not alone. School messed me up too.. I'm in my 30s. I often feel like a fraud. I wish I was like everybody else.. being able to have a job and a life..
@elin I feel like saying school is solely responsible for u not being able to hav a job & I would dare say u likely hav some form of a life is a bit of a far stretch & someone needs to tell u to get off the pity bus & take a good deep look into urself. For once stop pointing the finger at everyone & everything else. Quit putting the blame on everyone & everything. STOP it all & START with what u can do differently right now. Put it in the past. They r not hurting now. They can’t hurt u any longer. Why do u want them hurting & controlling u any longer? Seems like u enjoy playing the victim role. U r an ADULT now. Time to move past, move on, move forward. Plain & simple GET OVER IT! If it has affected u that much I would hav imagined u would hav gone into counseling straight away & by now that means u should hav been in counseling nearly as many yrs as u were in school. So between that & meds if u r truly that bad I would think u would b in an institution.
@@susanleslie4809 it is NOT plain and simple, Susan....
congratulations, your comment is one of the most moronic things I have ever suffered reading@@susanleslie4809
same thing happened to me@@elin_, if it were not for a few lucky turns my life took, I shudder to think about how shitty my life would be thanks to the utterly pitiful level of support I received when I was going through this as a teenager. People whose take is simply 'get over it and snap out of it' should count themselves fortunate that they can't personally empathize, as well as avoiding any and all roles in life that require any form of empathy.
Yeah I had the same issue back in the 70s/80s in the UK, which ultimately led me to having a truancy officer appointed, he understood and couldn't really do anything apart from attending the appointments, the first time I bunked off school was when I was 7 year's old, it was all due to bullying and then the teachers bullied me more for not participating in stuff where it was happening!😔✌️
I don’t think anyone else in Australia quite understands how much damage those 262 days in lockdown did to us in Melbourne. It was absolutely traumatic. To be cruelly separated from your friends and family, to completely lose your freedom and the life you took for granted. It’s been a huge struggle for a lot of us to readjust to normal life.
Your government did that, you never allow a government of power obsessed individuals control an unarmed country of citizens. The American Forefathers knew what they were doing when they wrote the Constitution. Without arms, we cannot defend ourselves from tyrant governments.
The other hurdle the students face is lack of experience. Seniors like me have been through some shit in our lives and survived. We learned that it's the ebb and flow of life. Downs and ups. Don't get too comfy; things can change overnight. My panic attacks came back the first day we started to WFM. WTF? It just got worse from there. Currently back on meds again. 😉
In our case itwasn't so much the social separation from friends but the embedded fear of catching co, spreading it and possibly dying. The social distancing, thanks to a certain politician, has been embedded into my child's brain that they are still struggling with ppl not social distancing. Politicians have no idea the effects of rule-making (temporary placement) on certain people.
@@emilyvickery8081 That’s so true. He did instil such a feeling of fear and suspicion. He turned people against each other and, together with Scomo’s poor response, they divided Australia and pitted state against state. It was shocking. I haven’t had Covid yet and I am still frightened. I still wear a mask in crowded places and avoid going to things like the movies or planes where I have to sit next to a stranger for hours. That’s the psychological effect it’s had on me.
It wasn't just Melbourne, mate. It was most of Victoria.
My daughter is unable to even go inside any classroom setting. She has severe anxiety, complex ptsd and has developed severe OCD. Her special education teacher increased the anxiety by the emotional and verbal abuse she created within the class. The public school system in the USA has destroyed the mental health of kids of ALL ages, and school administrations back up bad teachers, doing absolutely nothing to help the kids. Parents are ignored, and even a child's treating mental health providers are not being listened to, allowing teachers to follow the rules only on paper. Its frustrating and detrimental to the kids who want and need a quality education.
Definitely agree US schools need a major do-over. Coming from a public school teacher in special ed, it’s a lose/lose battle ground. Our hands are tied by admin who don’t care. We need parents to make noise in order for things to start changing.
My daughter was like this 2 yrs ago she loves learning and then she just couldn’t cope when she got to the school grounds she froze had panic attacks abs came hone … I caught for her to graduate she failed but got there she spent the next yr in bed .. she’s 19 now and finally back into in the world working and 98% back to herself ..
Brick & mortar is loud and chaotic and for some kids, it's just torture. Wayyyyy too much stimulation for them to handle. I was one of those kids. Not sure how I made it thru but I can tell you, the day I graduated high school was the best day of my life. I still remember the RELIEF of not having to sit in those classes anymore, and that was 37 years ago!
@@suzanneweaver7579 Same, the lunch room especially was awful so I often went to the library or bathroom
my sister struggled horribly with panic attacks all through our childhood due to school she was effectively mute! its hard for those who dont suffer to understand, but she would have about 6 a day during in school each 30min, and often could not breath during them (hyperventilation, and closing of her throat) from anxiousness. when she was not panic attacking she was crying or trying very hard not to cry she used drawing as a way to escape and calm herself but was bullied for this, she loved anime. she could talk to me as we were close and she trusted me, but she told me she could not talk to anyone she wasnt close with otherwise it would cause this extreme reaction to stress she had these from 7 years to 22 years, she was very suicidal in her late teenage years, always smart but so debilitated by her anxiety attacks she felt hopeless. She started flunking school at about 12yrs. But got more serious as it got close to GCSEs. Our parents were very success focused and frankly quite negligent, they told her she was being manipilative and was dong it on purpose, we went to private schools and our parents worked all the time, but they would just scream at her how much money they are paying for this, all she ever seemed to get dealt were people thinking she was stupid or mute from lack of intelligence. She was a very sweet soul and would draw as a means of escape, she had multiple teachers rip the drawings up in front of her or snatch them away as they were seen as a distraction, the kids as well were cruel to her and her inability to fight back meant she was a constant target for bullying espicalky once i became older and had to go to my next school. Really though she suffered everyday nobody really appriciated and knew. It makes me cry as an adult now, if my sister where my duaghter i would have taken her to a therapisst got anti anxiety meds and if she was still struggled homeschooled or online schooled her, with the occasional social club based around her interests, to try and get her to open up a bit. She killed herself at 22, she had no qualifications and in her eyes could never move on with her life. She was very depressed aswell as finically reliant on my parents who basically always saw her mental conditions as made up, she was scapegoated of all of us. Its been 7 years now, i dont speak to my family anymore and am scared of having kids. I have a boyfriend but never talk about my family. The only reason i post this is to warn parents of anxious disorder kids to please take it seriosuly and listen to their concerns, school is not the best enviorment for every child.
People would always say she was overractiving, i wish they would have just cared. My parents were tiger parents, they never talk about my sister now.
Happening in America as well my daughter was a top grade student then after covid she hates school, and suffers from severe anxiety, with the help of 2 counselors an IEP and a therapeutic mentor she goes every day. (IEP is an agreement with the states department of education, to help her in school when she feels overwhelmed.)
Im a senior and i feel the same way at times..the world doesn't seem a safe place anymore if its not violence or theft its catching a virus that you dont want to get so it makes people isolating alot of times alone😢
That sounds like my daughter . Panic attacks, headaches… plus friends and teachers not believing she is honestly struggling . To the extend to post in social media how terrible is my daughter and me as a parents . Health and struggle is real and hurts more how people use this to hurt you
wow this hits home, my sister struggled horribly with panic attacks all through our childhood due to school she was effectively mute! its hard for those who dont suffer to understand, but she would have about 6 a day during in school each 30min, and often could not breath during them (hyperventilation, and closing of her throat) from anxiousness. when she was not panic attacking she was crying or trying very hard not to cry she used drawing as a way to escape and calm herself but was bullied for this, she loved anime. she could talk to me as we were close and she trusted me, but she told me she could not talk to anyone she wasnt close with otherwise it would cause this extreme reaction to stress she had these from 7 years to 22 years, she was very suicidal in her late teenage years, always smart but so debilitated by her anxiety attacks she felt hopeless. She started flunking school at about 12yrs. But got more serious as it got close to GCSEs. Our parents were very success focused and frankly quite negligent, they told her she was being manipilative and was dong it on purpose, we went to private schools and our parents worked all the time, but they would just scream at her how much money they are paying for this, all she ever seemed to get dealt were people thinking she was stupid or mute from lack of intelligence. She was a very sweet soul and would draw as a means of escape, she had multiple teachers rip the drawings up in front of her or snatch them away as they were seen as a distraction, the kids as well were cruel to her and her inability to fight back meant she was a constant target for bullying espicalky once i became older and had to go to my next school. Really though she suffered everyday nobody really appriciated and knew. It makes me cry as an adult now, if my sister where my duaghter i would have taken her to a therapisst got anti anxiety meds and if she was still struggled homeschooled or online schooled her, with the occasional social club based around her interests, to try and get her to open up a bit. She killed herself at 22, she had no qualifications and in her eyes could never move on with her life. She was very depressed aswell as finically reliant on my parents who basically always saw her mental conditions as made up, she was scapegoated of all of us. Its been 7 years now, i dont speak to my family anymore and am scared of having kids. I have a boyfriend but never talk about my family. The only reason i post this is to warn parents of anxious disorder kids to please take it seriosuly and listen to their concerns, school is not the best enviorment for every child.
People would always say she was overractiving, i wish they would have just cared. My parents were tiger parents, they never talk about my sister now.
My now 29 year old went through this torment from the early 2000s. We went through hell until she had a massive breakdown aged 16. We eventually got her referred to CAMHS where she had months of counselling and she was diagnosed with Pure O OCD. All those years of suffering came together at that moment, and with hindsight I realised why I thought something wasn’t right just before her 2nd birthday and how much she had silently suffered. This condition will never go away, but at least it is now under control. I suspect that there will be lots of children suffering with this, but may slip through the net and be treated for something else because it is extremely hard to spot and diagnose.
I'm surprised this isn't happening more with American kids. I say this as a former American student. From middle school through high school I always made plans and found hiding spaces in my school in case of a school shooting. It was always on my mind but just like an accepted 'what if' I had to live with.
Our kids are being homeschooled after our son went to 2 schools and came back very anxious. Now they are 2 years ahead of their age groups.
and they will be anxious for life or on anxiolytic drugs to cope, nice one
I had this issue with school in the early 2000's. I had very poor attendance due to my depression and anxiety and was given regular detentions until I was 16 and they gave up trying to punish me. When I was forced to go to school, I would become disassociated from my body. It felt like my mind and body had become detached. I would space out and as a result, my grades were affected. My school eventually got tired of me and just told me the courses I needed to graduate were "full" and I had to go to an alternative school. The alternative school was extremely easy compared to mainstream school and I was able to graduate, despite my poor attendance. I was very unhappy about being sent there in my last semester but I would not have graduated that year, had I not gone.
We did this to them. We taught them if they are anxious, they should hide in the basement. Take their phone, streaming videos and video games away and you might be surprised at their ability to go out into the world and live their lives again. Everyday you let them hide, is a step in the wrong direction.
Agoraphobia exists, just saying
I'm in my junior year now in the U.S. and I can definitely relate to this. Only this year did I start really trying because I was tired of hating myself everyday for not getting out of bed, dreading school but at the same time wanting to go to do well, and I always claimed to like school. I used to get straight A's and got into Gifted and Talented, but after covid I just stopped everything. At first, I did well with the online school, but I was so easily distracted in my room and over time I saw what other kids were doing and after being able to even nap without consequence, I started paying less and less attention to the point where I even just skipped some classes alltogether to avoid being called on. It got better when we first started going back to school in waves, I was going most days and doing my work most of the time. Then, I started skipping again because I can just "log in online" but didn't really end up going. When I started going to high school, it kind of felt a lot like people were expecting us to be at full speed again and it became really overwhelming to do the classes normally like I used to do before covid. I got really overwhelmed with feelings of being helpless, or hopeless like there was no point in trying to do anything. I still felt terrible about all that because I had a lot of friends who were doing amazingly, and I felt embarrassed about struggling. For me, it was never a content issue, it was always just getting myself to go, so I never understood why it was so difficult for me to get up or complete assignments, when I could understand everything just fine. Eventually all this kept building up and up and I got tired of doing nothing and hating myself. I didn't want to hate myself and I wanted to feel healthy and functional. Over the summer, I became really suicidal and I did attempt multiple times, but what came out of that summer, were new goals and a clear understanding of what I wanted to accomplish. Reminding myself of these goals and dreams helped get me to start doing work and going to school. Now, I have a lot of hours I have to make up, which is fine because I could use the extra time being in a school environment to do my homework. It's a lot easier to do homework at school than at home because there are less distractions, and there's not a constant thought of wanting to relax. When I'm at school, I don't often think about wanting to go home. I'm usually thinking about my next class, and due dates, or something in my social life. When I'm at home, I think often about youtube, webtoons, anime, games, and so on. I think I've definitely been conditioned this way, but scheduling after and before school hours is so helpful. I didn't really reach out to anyone about how I felt, because I was scared of being ridiculed or not heard. I think a lot of my teachers would have liked to help though. It feels a lot better and it's still really hard to adjust, but I can definitely feel my strength, resilience, endurance, whatever you want to say building up. I've been doing discipline exercises that I could find anywhere and just trying to get used to doing things I'm uncomfortable with or doing small things I don't like to do. Those have also helped me take care of my hygeine everyday, and get out of bed even when I don't feel like it. So yeah, it gets better. It's not easy but it's definitely rewarding to look back and see progress. Thinking about how I used to be is a big motivator for me to keep going when I feel like falling back.
Knowing someone who had to deal with two teens who out-rightly refused to go to school, the parent did research and found other ways to engage in a form of education that got their kids engaged. They found that the ultimate goal is by pass the traditional idea of needing to go to school but to expose their child in all sorts of skills, careers and trades. Let the child find what they like and dislike and from there work out a way to learn and get employed in a job they love to do.
BTW, both teens are successfully employed in jobs that they love now. There is no more school or job refusal here.
There are many overwhelming things nowadays. Anxiety is real. I hope they work through it and begin to feel safe & enjoy their accomplishments. I’m glad to know they are doing their schoolwork.
I wonder how much this has increased since the pandemic. I remember how hard i found it to go to school, back in the 60s and 70s, even though I made good grades and graduated with academic honors. I feel so bad for these kids and I'm glad this is being recognized as a psychological problem instead of just saying these are bad and lazy and need tough love. I have a feeling that tough so called love would pusg some of these kids into killing themselves.
I think assignments are harder now, do kids are scared and terrified. Schools are harder now.
hardly anything modern here. I was fight or flight pretty much the entire time i was at school - being around people, being tested, having homework and not sleeping all added up to my brain dumping almost all of it because it was just straight trauma. i was so glad school was over when it was. now im almost 40 and im ready to learn.
Im one of these families. Single parent of 15 yr old girl, who worked thru anxiety by being in a special needs class within K to 12 School.
Next 17 year old boy, who couldnt get out of the car at beginning of Yr 8 due to anxiety, which was increased by COVID lock down. Now he is doing laboring jobs for minium pay in a rural setting, he regrets not going to school but wasnt able to.
Last 20 year old son who has been in his room for 10 yrs. He fell thru the cracks in the system. We get services even in the country but they fall through due to Govt funding cuts before they have begun.
It has been a constant cycle of battling to meet my children's needs in 2023 and over the past 10 years. It has also been a privilige.😊
This problem is everywhere and is just a symptom of never teaching kids as well as young adults their own method for dealing with feelings of uncertainty.
It's quite literally an emotional stunting in not being able to deal with these situations.
Never facing adversity prevents people from developing methods of dealing with it. Here in the US we pander to it. We create 'safe spaces' and other groups and environments that are without adversity, it does more harm than good. If you have anxiety so debilitating that you can't do simple daily routines, you lack the emotional toolkit you should have been given and forged throughout your early years. And the only way to regain that toolkit is to be put in those situations. This idea that we can have people walking around that have never faced trials of any kind emotionally or socially yet still expect them to function in a society doesn't compute. These are skills you need to learn in order to exist in our civilization.
Unless you have a actual structural issue with your brain that prevents you from learning or exhibiting/controlling emotions then we need to change the mindset we instill in kids from "there is a unique problem I have" to "if someone else can do it, I can do it"
This is happening over here in UK too. My 15 year old Grandson gets to the door ready to leave but literally cant go any further .
This is crazy, I was more concerned about the consequences at home if I didn't follow the rules. Of course my Parents didn't allow the lunatics to run the asylum.
What do you mean? Mentally ill people aren't lunatics.
True that! 🤣😂🤣😂🤪😜🤪🥸
This is what happens when the youth is mollycoddled. The future is doomed
100%
have you looked outside lately? the world is a bloody mess. There is wayyy more stress and events happening now thats causing out of control anxiety in many people then here use to be.
@@TaraZsunIt has always been a mess, everyone just has a voice and instant social media access. Shut the screens off and watch how much most perceived issues don't actually matter.
@@mmmd3429This is the real truth.
blinkered view
The man that runs the alternative school is absolutely correct. Many children these days are raised in an easy button world from early on. Many parents in the current generation overly cater to their kids. In doing so they fail to let their kids have natural consequences on their choices. Ya give a kid 50 things to choose from they cant make up their minds, you give them 3 choices they then can make a more confident choice. Also the lack of letting kids always have an out when they dont want to do basic lifeskills tasks is definitely a form of abuse. The worl caters to no one, and life is not fair. So when we dont teach our kids to wait to get something, that it must be earned vs keeping their basket always full, they never learn to be resilience, have coping skills, nor their place and purpose in life. Kids need to be raised with resilience, to have a role no matter their age, and be involved in community.
How does this alternative teacher accommodate a neurodivergent child? I’m curious about that it wasn’t covered.
Some could argue that public school as we know it is abuse for a child with an already low-dopamine mind and constant sensory overload. Without lots of help, they are set up to fail. They do actually need more rewards and downtime and even be allowed more dopamine fixes. Many must even take speedlike medications to have normal dopamine levels for at least part of the day.
And I think there are a lot more of them statistically than people want to acknowledge because it’s so much work to deal with. Some people even other parents who have normal children, don’t understand what it’s like. It’s easier to blame the parents of the neurodivergent child and expect parents should’ve had a PHD before having this neurodivergent child, and somehow should’ve magically “fixed” their child before sending them to school.
My daughter was having a rough time from bullying in primary school. Starting at middle school (year 7) I was lucky in that a small private girls' school (grades 7-12 about 180 girls) moved into our neighborhood- conservative Catholic private school but I welcomed it, sent her there where she was supremely happy. Quiet lunchroom, orderly environment, no bullying, teasing, nothing. I had had a large suburban awful school experience as a child (3000 kids, grades 10-12 only, actual traffic jams in the hallways utter nightmare) and was willing to do anything to get her out of that. Wasn't intereted in letting her stay home or such- still have to go to school, just find a decent one. She could easily have gone down this path but didn't and also made it through uni/college. Did give her the choice of this school or the public one and she was keen to go to this one.
anxiety disorder is a real condition, and is different from anxiety as an emotion
my sister struggled horribly with panic attacks all through our childhood due to school she was effectively mute! its hard for those who dont suffer to understand, but she would have about 6 a day during in school each 30min, and often could not breath during them (hyperventilation, and closing of her throat) from anxiousness. when she was not panic attacking she was crying or trying very hard not to cry she used drawing as a way to escape and calm herself but was bullied for this, she loved anime. she could talk to me as we were close and she trusted me, but she told me she could not talk to anyone she wasnt close with otherwise it would cause this extreme reaction to stress she had these from 7 years to 22 years, she was very suicidal in her late teenage years, always smart but so debilitated by her anxiety attacks she felt hopeless. She started flunking school at about 12yrs. But got more serious as it got close to GCSEs. Our parents were very success focused and frankly quite negligent, they told her she was being manipilative and was dong it on purpose, we went to private schools and our parents worked all the time, but they would just scream at her how much money they are paying for this, all she ever seemed to get dealt were people thinking she was stupid or mute from lack of intelligence. She was a very sweet soul and would draw as a means of escape, she had multiple teachers rip the drawings up in front of her or snatch them away as they were seen as a distraction, the kids as well were cruel to her and her inability to fight back meant she was a constant target for bullying espicalky once i became older and had to go to my next school. Really though she suffered everyday nobody really appriciated and knew. It makes me cry as an adult now, if my sister where my duaghter i would have taken her to a therapisst got anti anxiety meds and if she was still struggled homeschooled or online schooled her, with the occasional social club based around her interests, to try and get her to open up a bit. She killed herself at 22, she had no qualifications and in her eyes could never move on with her life. She was very depressed aswell as finically reliant on my parents who basically always saw her mental conditions as made up, she was scapegoated of all of us. Its been 7 years now, i dont speak to my family anymore and am scared of having kids. I have a boyfriend but never talk about my family. The only reason i post this is to warn parents of anxious disorder kids to please take it seriosuly and listen to their concerns, school is not the best enviorment for every child.
People would always say she was overractiving, i wish they would have just cared.
it’s a medical disorder
White Kids: I can’t go to school not enough Fortnite memes
Brown Kids: *hike 3 miles shoeless through the jungle and zip lines over a river filled with hungry crocodiles to learn in an not air conditioned 1 room school house with a shared thirty year old text book* I am blessed to be given such opportunities
I feel for these kids. I’m going through something similar as a grown adult in school.
Had the same problem back in the 60's and was kicked in the back side and pushed into the classroom vomiting 🤢. People like me were told to toughen up this is the real world
This is such an important thing, that needs to be sorted out now! I was a victim of this in high school and the school system failed me! I struggled to go to school because of bullying of what the teachers think of me even when I make a mistake, just the fact that I didn’t feel safe in a environment I’m supposed to be surrounded by 6 hours a day 5 day a week for years! It severely damaged me and I never got the help because no one knew I existed! We need services more of them! We need to get rid of waiting lists and we need to actually listen to what these kids need and not what we adults think they need! I’m now 20 and i still live with problems! Had I had a normal school life i probably would be a completely different person! This needs to change.
This isn't a new phenomenon. My son would also shut down and not be able to go to school years before covid. There were many families going though the same thing but no one ever talked about it. Smart, good kids often labeled as troublemakers if their parents don't stand up for them.
If I was a kid today, I would learn online and not even step foot in today's school rooms. I was born in 1961 and school was safe and fun back then, not today, today's schools are NOT a learning experience like it used to.
I urge the parents to have their children tested for autism. The extra stress of the pandemic could trigger stronger reactions to environmental factors.
This is not a new phenomenon, my husband and I are in our 60's, and both had this in our school years. We both did and still do prefer learning on our own. These kids need home school.
Good job Australian Parents 👍 You need the media to tell you that outside time and physical activity is needed for children.
I'm 37 yo. Female. I live in Texas. I am struggling with this same problem. It's negatively affecting every part of my life. I can't even focus enough to read or organize anything most days. I am scared of ending up homeless. Getting help is extremely difficult.
Have you tried eliminating all caffeine from your diet? See the book 'Caffeine Blues' about the detrimental health effects of caffeine.
I understand. My legs used to get stuck while I was walking into the classroom. I felt like I wanted to run out the classroom. My voice didn’t come out when the teacher asked me something. I spent most of the time worrying about the teacher asking me questions in front of class or if other children were going to make fun of me. I’m now 62 years old, I am a registered nurse and I even though I work with a lot of patients, in the beginning, it was difficult for me to get used to talking to my patients, it took some time to get used to having all people around me. However I still don’t have many friends and I avoid any form of social gatherings unless it’s part of my employment. I hope the new generation finds a good solution to their problem. In my time, the solution would have been a slap, or a belt.
I can relate ...
.
UGH....Yes they do need to toughen up.
You dont ask what they want to do, , you tell what will be. . You're the parents. The pandemic is OVER.
Take their social media away. That will help.
"He bangs his head against the seat"? Oh well, give him a helmet. He'll, be fine. Show them how strong they really are instead of engraining and setting them up for problems as adults.
"Whats wrong"?
"Nothing, I really just dont want to go to school that day".....
I think that sums this up really well.
Can you imagine in the 60s saying, "I can't go to school" and our parents saying okay? Give me a BREAK.
No one has ever died from a panic attack and as someone who's had them, the more you're forced to do something that causes the panic, the more they are decreased with each event.
Start slow, 15 mins at a time, until you work back up to all day.
Everyone is enabling these kids. And they're our future?......giant eye roll.
And YES you CAN PHYSICALLY do it.
Theres a really great phrase for us,
"DO IT AFRAID"...Nothing terribke will happen but when you have pampering parents, they'll never get better and live with mommy and daddy all theur lives because they didn't learn how to push past hard things
We were taught "Feel the Fear, do it anyways. In all things in life.
TikTok really is the devil. I’m grateful that social media didn’t exist when I was a kid and that the internet was in its infancy because it meant ACTUAL privacy at home where the bullies couldn’t get to me after hours and I could actually recharge. Yes, my anxiety came to a head in my 30s and I finally did have to get help for it but I feel like it could have been even worse if the internet had been then what it is now.
You need to get educated about mental illness. You have no idea what it's like to be a kid in 2023... neither do I.
@@elin_ I do think social media makes mental illness worse. Comparing my experience without it to what kids deal with now with it…yikes. 😬
In the past (perhaps still), phobias were treated by gradually increasing exposure to the anxiety provoking situation - not by allowing avoidance. It did work, and I've done it myself.
I’m 43 now. I felt always like that going to school. Just in that time you had to suck it up, was like a mandatory thing. That you couldn’t say no
some days I really didn’t want to be there. Couldn’t sleep the night before because of the anxiety
We had truant officers and police would arrest the parents when a child refused to attend. What kids would rather stay home rather than go to school? ALL of them.
wow this hits home, my sister struggled horribly with panic attacks all through our childhood due to school she was effectively mute! its hard for those who dont suffer to understand, but she would have about 6 a day during in school each 30min, and often could not breath during them (hyperventilation, and closing of her throat) from anxiousness. when she was not panic attacking she was crying or trying very hard not to cry she used drawing as a way to escape and calm herself but was bullied for this, she loved anime. she could talk to me as we were close and she trusted me, but she told me she could not talk to anyone she wasnt close with otherwise it would cause this extreme reaction to stress she had these from 7 years to 22 years, she was very suicidal in her late teenage years, always smart but so debilitated by her anxiety attacks she felt hopeless. She started flunking school at about 12yrs. But got more serious as it got close to GCSEs. Our parents were very success focused and frankly quite negligent, they told her she was being manipilative and was dong it on purpose, we went to private schools and our parents worked all the time, but they would just scream at her how much money they are paying for this, all she ever seemed to get dealt were people thinking she was stupid or mute from lack of intelligence. She was a very sweet soul and would draw as a means of escape, she had multiple teachers rip the drawings up in front of her or snatch them away as they were seen as a distraction, the kids as well were cruel to her and her inability to fight back meant she was a constant target for bullying espicalky once i became older and had to go to my next school. Really though she suffered everyday nobody really appriciated and knew. It makes me cry as an adult now, if my sister where my duaghter i would have taken her to a therapisst got anti anxiety meds and if she was still struggled homeschooled or online schooled her, with the occasional social club based around her interests, to try and get her to open up a bit. She killed herself at 22, she had no qualifications and in her eyes could never move on with her life. She was very depressed aswell as finically reliant on my parents who basically always saw her mental conditions as made up, she was scapegoated of all of us. Its been 7 years now, i dont speak to my family anymore and am scared of having kids. I have a boyfriend but never talk about my family. The only reason i post this is to warn parents of anxious disorder kids to please take it seriosuly and listen to their concerns, school is not the best enviorment for every child.
People would always say she was overractiving, i wish they would have just cared. My parents were tiger parents, they never talk about my sister now.
Schools should develop small groups for children. Create groups to work on something fun and interactive. So, they can develop once again the joy of wanting to go to school again. After the pandemic closed down schools, most children lost connection to others and friendships were not able to be created. This is the biggest reason kids love to go to school. It doesn’t cost money, kids should be able to come up with good ideas as well, themselves.
that’s a good suggestion
wow this hits home, my sister struggled horribly with panic attacks all through our childhood due to school she was effectively mute! its hard for those who dont suffer to understand, but she would have about 6 a day during in school each 30min, and often could not breath during them (hyperventilation, and closing of her throat) from anxiousness. when she was not panic attacking she was crying or trying very hard not to cry she used drawing as a way to escape and calm herself but was bullied for this, she loved anime. she could talk to me as we were close and she trusted me, but she told me she could not talk to anyone she wasnt close with otherwise it would cause this extreme reaction to stress she had these from 7 years to 22 years, she was very suicidal in her late teenage years, always smart but so debilitated by her anxiety attacks she felt hopeless. She started flunking school at about 12yrs. But got more serious as it got close to GCSEs. Our parents were very success focused and frankly quite negligent, they told her she was being manipilative and was dong it on purpose, we went to private schools and our parents worked all the time, but they would just scream at her how much money they are paying for this, all she ever seemed to get dealt were people thinking she was stupid or mute from lack of intelligence. She was a very sweet soul and would draw as a means of escape, she had multiple teachers rip the drawings up in front of her or snatch them away as they were seen as a distraction, the kids as well were cruel to her and her inability to fight back meant she was a constant target for bullying espicalky once i became older and had to go to my next school. Really though she suffered everyday nobody really appriciated and knew. It makes me cry as an adult now, if my sister where my duaghter i would have taken her to a therapisst got anti anxiety meds and if she was still struggled homeschooled or online schooled her, with the occasional social club based around her interests, to try and get her to open up a bit. She killed herself at 22, she had no qualifications and in her eyes could never move on with her life. She was very depressed aswell as finically reliant on my parents who basically always saw her mental conditions as made up, she was scapegoated of all of us. Its been 7 years now, i dont speak to my family anymore and am scared of having kids. I have a boyfriend but never talk about my family. The only reason i post this is to warn parents of anxious disorder kids to please take it seriosuly and listen to their concerns, school is not the best enviorment for every child.
People would always say she was overractiving, i wish they would have just cared. My parents were tiger parents, they never talk about my sister now.
Yet she could sit in front of cameras and be asked questions
Well, there are always options. Nowadays we have homeschooling. If kids don't want to go to school, apply this alternative. Simple.
My daughter left school in jr high for good after 3 years of this. Getting dressed, cooperating, even making it through am hour of class before having a panic attack. And this was BEFORE covid. she reads and works constantly. Does chores. Its not laziness. Something is wrong with the public school system we have to figure out.
I feel for these kids. I struggled bad with social anxiety during my school years and back then teachers would put it off as being “shy.” This was before smart phones and the pandemic. Now at 30 my social anxiety is still a daily struggle and it’s difficult to find mental health care that targets just the social anxiety. We need more focused mental health care and research when it comes to this crippling disorder.
Covid may have triggered it, but this is social-anxiety and depression. Plain and simple. I had it (and still battle it at 30+) at around the same age as them. I couldn't bare go to school for two years, flunk a year, and only after that I started therapy. Unfortunately, at that time (even therapy but specially) medication was very frowned upon even by myself because I didn't want to «be a robot» or «be emotionless», but those sayings come from a time where medication was really heavy and mental health was not taken seriously. All people wanted was to numb the patient and/or keep them hooked on the drugs. So please, always ALWAYS seek for professional help: therapy with GOOD and qualified professionals + psychiatry for the meds, and make them work together so you can find the right balance of meds and therapy. Always, both, together (if therapy alone does not work - but do not be scared of medication please).
Anyway, my experience then was only therapy (which in my case was good because it helped me create multiple coping mechanisms* to deal with anxiety and the pressure depression made me fell). I do however see it now that I should have started medication earlier (this is my personal experience - everyone is different), and that my parents didn't help much with their way of thinking. But, oh well... the important thing is: I survived school, and work, and all other social gatherings and obligations that life throws at you. And every time I think I am at my worst or back to the start, there's always tomorrow to start fresh. The key here is to always keep on trying to get up.
* Coping mechanisms: my therapist back then made me analyse the physical symptoms I experienced every time I was having panic attacks, so I could counterattack (if that makes sense ahaha).
So, in and in my case, I would feel SUPER hot all of the sudden, sweating a lot = so I started always caring with me a fan in my bag ahaha; I would sometimes also experience feeling like I would faint, because I was feeling so weak = started always having with me a packet of salt, another one of sugar, and if possible, some crackers (those rice crackers you know? because the taste is very mild, and I would try to calm down while eating a bit, and thinking «i will not faint cause I am eating, I am good, I am outside - I would excuse myself from class a lot, and try as much as possible to not run back home which was right across the street! - and I have my fan with me» hahaah); then every time I would feel nauseous, I would chew some mint gum (but now you have ginger flavoured ones and I do recommend those); and finally, I would always have with me a bottle of water, because when you get anxious, sweating, etc , your mind just because a bit irrational so I would carry with me water so I could trick the brain by thinking that I wouldn't faint from dehydration and so on). in conclusion: it was all tricks that made me see the racional side everything I was feeling physically. And that helped... little by little I started managing things by myself, and never skipping therapy to keep on treating everything else that was happening «inside».
sorry for any typos or grammatical mistakes but English is not my mother tongue. probably nobody will read this but in case you got this far and the video resonated with you I can assure you that if you keep on trying, you will succeed. There's no such thing and doing things at a right or wrong speed, so do not compare yourself to others and get up and try again. you are so much stronger than what you think :) trust me!
ps: it has nothing to do with technology, soft parenting, and so on. Like I said, there's a trigger - I had mine and these kids seemed to have had theirs with covid lockdown. So, stop demonizing tech, therapy (by saying that it is only for weak people or «crazy» people), meds (same thing - lost count how many times I've heard things like «crazy pills»), etc. Yes, getting out of the house, fresh air, physical excise, helps but it is NOT the solution. Therapy, feeling support from people we love and ultimately meds.
So, just keep supporting these people with their struggles, and try to find ways of helping them in the short and long run. And if you can't or you don't believe in any of these things, then step out of their way or redirect them to someone that does believe in mental health.
And if you are the one surrounded by toxic people and you can't get out, try to find ways to not take it to heart what they say. Remember: it's all based in ignorance and fear! You keep doing you!
And lastly: the final question the journalist did to the kid, referring to «lost time» ... that was ridiculous. I know it is a topic that is often brought up but it's another one of those stupid questions to not ask or bring up to someone that is going through this. They already feel enough anxiety as it is - do not add more sh*t for them to cling on to.
And remember: TIME WAS NOT WASTED, IF YOU ARE WORKING ON YOURSELF! 💛
@@serenepeacefulrelaxingmusi3874 No, but I do know what it is and i didn't need to get/stand up to feel any of those symptoms ;) but thanks. It's all good now
I’m a special education teacher. I know this anxiety is very real for students, but if the adults give into letting students run from their fears….we are essentially telling the child that we don’t believe in their ability to overcome this obstacle. This vote of “no confidence” from the parents turns into a self-fulfilling downward spiral into more and more days of school refusal, which only makes it more difficult when the child finally does go to school. Nipping the problem
In the bud right at the beginning by making staying home from school unless you are ill, NOT an option is key. It won’t fix every case, but it will resolve the majority of them.
As an adult with anxiety I jumped out of a moving car being driven by my husband. We worked together. He was afraid of looking bad and losing income. I told him I couldn’t do it but he was making me out of fear. So I jumped.
I was brought up in UK. As a child I was terrified of going to school. Literally terrified ! I came from a highly dysfunctional family. An abusive, antisocial father and a mother who had no idea what the needs of children were. I had no food, my clothing consisted of my school uniform. 1 set. I had absolutely NO possessions. Literally zero. I was lucky. I had a bed with a sheet. I did have a large plate fungus growing out of the bedroom wall, I suppose you could call it a possession of some sorts.
I always went to school starving and only just about made it home. I had one meal a day. Being a young female at the time and having my first period was absolutely unbearable. I had nothing to use. My mother’s reaction was always “ when you start working you can buy what you need yourself. I was 13 years old !!!
There can be many reasons why a child doesn’t like going to school. For me my life was just too much for a young person to cope with. Adding school to my already very stressed mental state was just too much for me. I would think of any excuse not to go. The times I did go, which was more often than not, I cried most of the day. It would have been so obvious to someone that something serious was going on at home. Sadly no one noticed. I suppose if they had I would have denied anything was wrong.
I think it’s important not to put all young people who refuse to go to school in the same category.
The wonderful thing that came out of my experience was that I married a wonderful man, had 3 beautiful children that thankfully will never experience what I went through and who all 3 absolutely loved school, went on to University and all have fantastic careers.
This is sad - and I strongly suspect it's NOT just a phenomenon in Australia. No one in the US seems to be even admitting this is happening.
If I ever have kids/a kid (which would probably be via adoption), I would like to not allow them to have any mobile phone with internet connection (or any smartphone) until they’re at least 15. I didn’t have my first iPhone until I was around that age (millennial, born in 1995, good times). Should this be made law? Should kids not be allowed mobile phones with internet, or smart phones, until they’re at least 15? There would be no pressure against the kids who don’t have one, as, hopefully, most people their age wouldn’t have one. They would get to enjoy their childhood more, like I did. They would be less exposed to the dangers of the internet and the inappropriate things online. They would be less addicted to their phones in their childhood. It could have great mental health benefits for them. What do you folks think of this idea?
I´m not a kid anymore but I still study university. I usted to lově beeing with people (I never really like to talk to them but crowds were one of my favourite places)...since COVID this changed and often if I get to crowds (without an easy and visible escape route) I more often than not get a panic attack. Acording to my therapist this is the result of lockdowns and remote learning (I was home more or less for 2 years). So many people suffer results of lockdowna and I´m so glad we are finally talking about this because now we have traumatised generation of kids and I´m afraid we still have no idea of the scale of problems caused by lockdowns.
The lack of resiliency in today’s society is astounding.
This is a world wide phenomenon that doctors started reporting after COVID hit world wide. I suffered from post COVID anxiety myself and struggled to go to work every day for fear of catching COVID. That fear kept me from going anywhere except to work and back for several years. It is real and I can understand this happening to teens as their body is changing and becoming flooded with hormones along with being isolated with family only for such a long period of time.
It’s a different world with many complexities that older generations have never experienced or have any real concept of!
I'm glad that some older people realize this and don't do the "in my time..." "when I was a little boy/girl..."
My son barely attended high school and suffered from crippling depression and social anxiety. Fortunately, he had the ability to pass his matric despite his low attendance
He then found work in a traditional office environment and said to me if this is my life I will kill myself ( he was very serious )
In desperation I enrolled hin in a diving program (a complete shot in the dark as he had never expressed any interest in the ocean / diving).
5 nearly 6 years in, he is a changed person happy , healthy and supremely confident
He has made friends with people from all over the world and writes presents programs on marine life / the ocean to marine biologists, among others
All Im trying to say is we need to listen to our kids, be as flexible as possible and do not lose hope there is a place for everyone in this world we just have to figure out where that is
The problem i see alot these days in parents are giving kids "choice" and they cant make there minds up and if they choose the wrong thing they want the other thing and will crack it if they cant have it.
I bet that kid has a xbox in his room so staying home he gets to do what he wants to do.
Doesnt understand that when ur old enough you need to work and earn money which they have no concept of until they are there!
Also the reason why 18+ already have huge debts because there concept of spending they have no idea or what "saving" actually means.
Again to much choice they dont want to choose they just buy everything.
Ita the opposite for my daughter. She felt crippling anxiety goi g to school pre pandemic and thrived during the pandemic. There is way to much pressure put on kids in school, its cruel. Im a high earner and my most stressful part of life by far was high school. Thats messed up. Nobody i work with is pressured and scutinized like kids are in primary school. Its sick and unproductive. I think norway has the best educated and they dont even test the kids there...they focus on learning rather than cramming for tests.
It's almost like actively destroying the mental health of an entire generation of children was a bad idea. Who could have guessed. 🙄
When my younger brother was forced into school against his will, he would sit in his chair all day and do nothing. After a couple of weeks, he started pulling out his hair. When he got disciplined for the hair pulling he started punching himself in the head to resist the urge to hair pull.
And yet, no one thought to have him see a psychiatrist. So long as he wasn’t bothering anyone else, nothing was done.
He stayed in school until he was 21 years old. He got his GED and became an otr truck driver. He’s had a rough life.
Wow I’m an American and when he was in high school his senior year before college he used all 10 tardies and they called and scolded me. So I had to drag him out of bed every morning and take him to school. So are these kids are allowed to pass on to the next year?
In America parents would be in jail for how many days kids miss in Australia.
I’m concerned about these children. Unfortunately, many times it’s hit or miss with getting the appropriate care. These kids need to go to school, and if they are allowed to stay home, they will never have the opportunity to validate the fact that they are safe and they will be OK. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the way to go, this therapy should not be done by a therapist who does not have expertise in this approach. It requires work, but it is highly successful. You do not want these children to be housebound.
until they are bashed up.... With my children, one had anxiety from fear of bullies, the other has significant bullying and social distancing/pandemic overall. With the second child, will not go through school gates, let alone classroom. Would not get out of car, initially. Sometimes will state they want to stay in the car. Still after psychologist visits (cognitive therapy). It also doesn't help that they are more advanced than peers. Other social occasions are a struggle and we make use of 'quieter' times and take the child's lead. In theory, it sounds good but not so simple in practice.
Can you imagine when those kids will refuse to go to work? Poor parents!!
That's how I feel about going to my job. The stress is crippling.
Learning to cope with anxiety is something that we all learn, not all of us experience it at the same points of life or to the same extent but at the end of the day, it is an opportunity to learn and should be used that way.
It doesnt have to happen overnight but learning to cope in situations we dont enjoy is just life. School attendance is necessary so we cant just say its ok to refuse.
You sound like someone who has not experienced debilitating anxiety. If you dont have the support around you, or have other problems combined with that anxiety its not a simple fix. I even experience anxiety in situations that i should enjoy. Its alot more complicated then you think.
Anxiety disorders are not something you simply power through. It's like saying just power through your suicidal depression or your cancer.
@@hwhackI did for many years because I am really bullheaded but did eventually get to such a bad place in my early 30s that I finally had to go get help. The right meds made a HUGE difference.
@@TaraZsun it was worded poorly but I just mean that if you tell yourself something is a flat no all because you are experiencing anxiety around it then you won't get that experience. I understand having mental health days but to miss out on large chunks of your education when you're so young still is detrimental in more ways than not.
Sorry if you were offended by my original comment.
@@apriladelewhyteI have to make myself push through my anxiety (medicated!) most days. The relief after I do push through is rewarding. I understand your comment. It only happens with support and understanding.
If you can't make your child go to school than you are responsible for home schooling them. If you can't teach your child to do the small things in life they sure won't be able to cope with big things.
I'm from the UK, I have had 3 fines because my daughter has felt too ill to go to school, I have continually asked her school for support but have had no help, they were meant to be getting my daughter seen sooner for therapy, it has been 2 years and I have heard nothing. Two weeks ago she made an attempt on her life, the mental health workers we saw in the hospital the day of her attempt told us the list for mental illness is at an all time high, I just wish her school were more understanding and
helpful.
They should make school 2 days a week self teaching is very good .. going daily waste allot of time and effort .. we aren't meant to waste our time and effort doing stuff that doesn't help us in the long run .. they can provide daily education but make it mandatory to attend just 2 days it would be much more productive and saves energy and stress and make kids focus on themselves better and its more natural for kids to grow in peace without much uneeded stress
Going every single day is really unhealthy it waste allot of time and cause stress .. now kids are growing more peacefully and coping better with boredem .. school cause a lot of distraction and weight on the mind and mental health and even their grades can improve better when they stay more at home and depend on themselves but also go to school to keep motivation
I feel Hope for my 14 yr old son. He went to School today!! After almost one year. In 2023 he unexpectedly suffered with much loss. 6 months later He is healing. ❤️🩹 & slowly re entering the Mind field ( High School ). Have hope folks ☘️
You need to make your kids goto school…. I’m sorry but” I just don’t want to go”.
Leave the at the gate and tell the principal and start taking them to a GP/psych to treat anxiety.
I was forced to go to school with anxiety as a kid. Told to toughen up. We are babying the kids so much now that any tiny trigger and they crack. Blame the parents who let their kids decide whatever they want. Sometimes you just have to do hard things to learn how to cope otherwise all you will end up with is a future generation of people who can't cope with everything.
pulled my daughter to do cyber school in 2018, after many days of picking her up and in a heap of tears.
I’m 31 , through out my schooling I struggled with a lot of things making friends and doing certain things. But I pushed through , the education wasn’t that great back then but you could see that the teachers I had an encountered were really dedicating them time to help and intervene when needed to support there kids.
Maybe create a class with 5 students only.
Crazy times! The era off entitlement . We could not pull off this crap with the oldies years ago. We would get our arse kicked by both parents and teachers, our anxiety would disappear real bloody quick.
"this crap"
you seem to have no idea of the full on firehose of stimuli that theyre dealing with, and the world and global solidarity appearing ever more bleak. How about helping find a solid and practical solution rather than saying it's their fault for not growing up in whatever utopia you did
@@turnpikesteven9554 how about chat with them about screen time limits? You know, actual discipline. Not "smack the child, or let them walk all over you". Actually instill a routine, teach accountability and responsibility, ensure they have the tools, time and space to concentrate, keep in mind the way you speak to yourself as your child is learning how to accept themselves. And most importantly: encourage them. Not praise, not pushing. Nurturing.
I developed a method of both learning and modelling discipline, called RACECAR:
Routine
Accountability
Consistency
Encouragement
Concentration
Acceptance
Responsibility
That is your solution
You can't compare to when you went to school back in the days. The world has changed rapidly and you have no idea what it's like being a kid in today's day and age.
It’s more stress in schools now than before
im 35 now i born and raised in the usa. i had that issue once i hit highschool, first year. no one believed me but mom. id throw up and shake because i would have intense pain from gas in my digestive track, from stress. I would even make it to school and just vomit and be sent home. no medications fixed it. doctors didnt know what to do or what the underlying issue was other then i was stressed. I didnt feel stressed through but when i would sleep i would shake like i was scared. i couldnt sleep properly. after the school tried to throw my parents into jail i took teleclasses in the am when the pain was the worst and after lunch I would go to school for afternoon classes. I eventually had to drop out of school at 15 got my ged and went to college asap and only took classes after noon. I continued to take college slow half the speed of everyone else and eventually had to leave my architecture degree because of health and financial issues. I am out of school without my degree, in a ton of debt, working at a grocery store, but im pain free and can even do morning shifts now, which I couldn't before.
My daughters experience this anxiety daily partially due to terrible bullying which nothing was done about it through the school. The girls are afraid of being bullied and have social anxiety/panic attacks.
As a special education teacher and a parent of a neurodivergent child in the U.S., I was shocked to see how students act in school these days. I first started teaching in 2012 and was shocked at the differences from when I went to school in the late 70s - early 90s. From what I can tell, it seems to be a social problem in the U.S. It's absurd that for a student to make it through the school day, they have to endure all sorts of taunting, teasing, and abuse. It's like the norm here! I did not raise my kids that way, and my kids don't act like the majority, so they don't fit in. The way so many people act and treat each other in this country is appalling! My child is now thriving in online school and tests several grades above compared to other students in our state. Does virtual school exist in Australia? This video seemed to show that students were willing to do the school work but just couldn't handle the school environment. This video did not talk about if there was a bullying problem in Australian schools.
We do online school too and my kids are thriving. Honor societies and everything! Former teacher here and I just couldn;t torture my kids at school everyday with the school environment in the USA. it's a nightmare.
Best thing I ever did was to leave school early and continue my education online. Much teaching is substandard and bullying is rife. I received distinctions and went to university. School is not for everyone.