@@blondymonk1535 I was going to say the say thing. He voice is a beating drum in this song. Along with the aggressive tone and anger he holds through this song - makes it so powerful.
The evolution of understanding this song in particular (however there are many) for me is so moving. I listened to this as a naive preteen, relating to it in my own way but still understood his aggression and vulnerability... then to grow up and hear it again later in life and truly empathize with his life in that moment, the way he was able to lyrically and technically put this song together is masterclass. Truly a classic for so many reasons.
His mother was actually 15 when she got married to the man who would eventually be EMINEM’s father to help her escape an abusive stepfather. He left before EM was even a year old and his mom met another man when EM was in his teens his mom got pregnant and gave birth to his half brother Nate when he was 14 and there was a whole thing about them in and out of foster care growing up. EMINEM also has another brother Michael and a half sister Sarah. EMINEM adopted Nate after he became famous and raised him since he was a teenager and he lived with EM through his 20s before settling down with a girl and having kids. Most don’t know about Michael or Sarah because they are fairly distant and don’t talk at all. They weren’t even mentioned in his autobiography. Virtually nothing is known about Michael, his whole life is a mystery and the only things we know about Sarah are that she maybe works as a waitress and lives in California and that she didn’t know she was related to him until last year when she was 23 when they finally told her. Nate is 36 now. No clue how old Michael is, just that he is older than Nate, but younger than EM. Anyway, as EM got famous and everything his mother made an album going after him for the things he was saying about her and sued him for $10 million for defaming her in his song Cleaning Out My Closet. He then made a song with a section calling out and dissing her lawyer. He threatened to sue so the label had to bleep out his name, even in the explicit version of the song. In December 2007 he overdosed and almost died. This put him in a coma and when he woke up and got out of the hospital he voluntarily went back into rehab where he began writing his Relapse album. Most of the songs off of that album and the unreleased sequel that was supposed to come out later that same year were written and recorded while he was detoxing. In Marshall Mathers LP 2 he made the song Headlights apologizing to his mother and squashing that feud. In 2022 EM was inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame and his mother was interviewed about it saying that she was very proud of him and said that he did it all on his own. His father once did an interview saying he was proud of EM and it absolutely pissed him off that this man he never knew would talk about how proud he is like he did something to help him accomplish it. His dad died a while back and in his most recent album he made the song Leaving Heaven just going all out and tearing his father to shreds saying that this was it, he’s said his piece and he isn’t going to let it weigh on him anymore. His father’s new family tried and failed to sue him because he said in the song how he wanted to go down to hell and beat the crap out of him and dig up his body to spit in his face.
I think this is the best rap song I've ever heard. It has everything, rithm, flow, lyric, real content... Dude, I don't think anybody has done something like that before or after.
This song is -in my books- a perfect one. You can really hear the frustration and anger in Em's voice in this. Combined with the flow and cadence (together with the awesome beat that he himself made), it's just perfection
Fun Fact: the chorus for this song is based on a line from the Eric B. & Rakim track “As The Rhyme Goes On” off their classic 1987 album Paid in Full. The original line: “I’m the R, the A, to the K-I-M / If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?”
I think you audience would love to see you react to "Kim". It is very hard and sad and traumatic song by Em, but who is better qualified to react than psychotherapist... I would love to hear your ideas about the mental state that you have to be in to write that type of song and even go and record it in the studio... P.S. as I know Em even does female sound in that song.
Yep. It's from way back. It and the album it's on, the MMLP, dropped in 2000. It also happens to be the first official (lead) producing credit that Em ever received on a song. It was actually before he wholly learned how to operate all the relevant producing equipment. And before he even entirely understood what producing was. So he did not intentionally set out to earn said producing credit. During a conversation he was having with the Bass Brothers, he casually mentioned to them that he knew what he wanted the music/beat to sound like for 'The Way I Am.' He wanted it to sync up with the rhythm and cadence he planned to use in his delivery. And because he had no other means to demonstrate it to them. He hummed it out for them with as much detail as he could. After hearing Em's impromptu demonstration, one of the Bass Brothers congratulated him on essentially producing his first track. To Em's pleasant surprise.
been waiting for this one it’s such a classic and one of his best songs ever imo, don’t know if you already reacted to my dad’s gone crazy or sing for the moment but if you didn’t, you should🧡
One of my favorite Emm song its so raw and from the heart. Music is my medicine as well and i use my writing to vent and stay sane. Witch at the moment i am needing to start doing again thank you guys at reaction therapy and thank you to Marshall Mathers for coing from the heart on this one it has helped me get threw a lot of hard times just listening to it and feeling his energy cond threw reminds me that everyone has their own struggle but i can be overcome. Emm is definitely One of the best lyrical geniuses of our if not all time. Brilliance and insanity is a fine line i find my self slaloming often.
Please react to *_“Eminem - Kim”_* - I thought for sure as a psychotherapist touching on a lot of rap, and other genres, that you would have for sure made a video on Eminem’s song _”Kim”_ … So I was genuinely surprised when I seen you didn’t do it yet. And from the other Eminem titles you listed, lots of people would love to see that reaction! Appreciate the breakdowns! ~
One of the early rappers and one of ems biggest influences, Rakim, has a bar where he says “if I didn’t then why would I say I am” so eminem is paying homage to him by using some of the same lyrics
Another insightful similar song is "don't approach me" feat xzibit, you should definitely try that, it also has a music video. x is one of the most underrated rappers in my humble opinion. dope lyrics, nice flow, clean voice, gangsta 'ttude. By the way, if Em has a music video for a track, make sure to do that (dirty version) instead of a lyrical video, this one had one too and although it was more of a simple video, his attitude on it really enhances the vibe of the song.
8:06 I was watching this video thinking anybody could figure that out, until this part. I thought he was just trying to get a rhyme, but I never noticed the double entendre. Great catch.
I am fighting a little against panic attacks, i also drink alot because that helps, but i also know that it makes it harder actually, but i you dude alot, nice to watch these :) And Eminen has been my favorite since when i was 13 years old, like ,twenty years ago..
You should listen to Under The Influence by Current Joys or 2014. they’re a different kind of genre that you usually listen to but, they’re an amazing band with deep powerful messages in their songs!!
I don’t know if people remember how on The Slim Shady LP and The Marshall Mathers LP the songs ran into each other like a record with the sound and all hahaha
This track is more catchy cause of the style of poetry he wrote this in. It was Dr. Seuss's style which besides this verse i only kmow of 3stacks did a similar style in rap
Fame is a tough thing - I would like to be that guy who wouldn't walk up and bother someone I admired, but at the same time, it could be your only opportunity in your life to meet this person that has had an effect on you. I get it - everyone feels that way and that is the problem - the dogpile effect it has on a celebrity - again, that's what makes it so hard. Indecently, it's also the reason I never want to be famous - I'll take the money, but you can keep the fame!
i always loved blasting this out of my del sol in places like church parking lots as I waited for my friends lil brother to get out of sunday school lol. other times i would play some marilyn manson antichrist superstar, gotta mix it up lol ahh to be young again. o wait, id still do that hahaha.
Sorry, you said this sounds like fighting music, but Eminem actually has a song from when he was with his group called D12 which is titled 'Fight Music' which you should check out.
Bro, I'm been going to therapy since I was a kid....... I'm getting annoyed/angry at just trying to schedule the 🤬cking thing and I'm not going to forget the drive with gas prices and I'm not turning my HOME, the one place I'm supposed to be safe from the world and you want me to invite someone I've never seen before in???? No way.
“You can say what you say n we can reframe it so you’re able to go out n tolerate some more of it” Eminem aside, this is really important. We’re in an era of conservative redpill n one of the things they preach is be a man n man up because you don’t need to see a therapist n how therapy is a grift n a scam n how therapists can’t fix you n that’s why you gotta keep going back n they hustle money from you…your quote is the best response to that. Sometimes you can’t fix it. But a therapist can walk you through the things you bottle up n show you healthy ways to get it out so it doesn’t mold you into something toxic to yourself or others.
Maybe not so known fun fact is that the "cocky Caucasians" line is actually aimed directly at Howard Stern for an interview he did previously, Stern was just being a complete A-Hole the entire time and never letting Em speak.
Wish you would've touched on the "when a dudes getting bullied and shoots up a school and they blame it on Marilyn (Manson) and the heroin" and then he said they blame him. This was back when the columbine shooting had happened and the media was blaming everything that shouldn't have anything to do with it. Music (rock and rap music in particular) video games, drugs, contributing all those those to causing the violence. I love how he asked "where were the parents at?" Like yeah why were they able to fly under the radar like that? Why did no one keep an eye on them after they were arrested for stealing computer equipment and threatening to kill another student and talking about making pipe bombs? Why were they able to stash weapons and ammo in their rooms without being detected by their families? "Let's just blame music and video games for what they did" that's horseshit. Oh and the "now it's a tragedy, now it's so sad to see a upper class city having this happening" like yeah it's sad what happened that innocent kids were shot up in a school but why don't we keep that same energy for violence in lower class neighborhoods? Why doesn't the gun violence in the projects matter as much to the media and the rest of middle and upper class america? Why does it have to be a predominantly white and middle-upper class city full of well of people with well of kids that get shot for it to be paid attention. This song is so deep it's insane. Fire reaction though Tom.
No disrespect but this song was released 23 years ago! Check it! People just catching up with it now? Where you been!? When I first heard it back then it was a favorite. I didn't get the impression that it was that well liked. 23 years later everyone loves it! What's up wit that!?
Eminem was always on drugs. It got real bad around that time when Proof got killed. But he was always on drugs. 😂you’re not gonna make a song like “my fault” and be a sober human being lol
Just came across this guy today, he’s obviously religious! WHY NO RECOMMENDATIONS FOR -- BEST FRIEND ft Yellawolf? 🤷🏻♂️ come on - real Em fans know that’s the verse 😉🐐
![F.HERO Ft. JSPKK x ลำไย ไหทองคำ x M-PEE - ไม่สนิทบิดหมด (Thai Riders Anthem) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kPJZ0UihBfk/mqdefault.jpg)
One of my favorites for its classic flow. This is iconic.
yeah, it's impossible not sing along or try it in instrumental
Cadance is the craziest ever
@@blondymonk1535 It's insane!
@@blondymonk1535 I was going to say the say thing. He voice is a beating drum in this song. Along with the aggressive tone and anger he holds through this song - makes it so powerful.
I'm not sure he's ever been to therapy but Em has said music is his therapy..... and he meditates a lot.
Drug rehabilitation is mostly therapy, and he's gone a few times.
This is and will always be my favorite song by EM
Me too. At 47, still my go to track when I'm angry af. Something bout rapping along on the way home from work ETc.
My anger is lowered at the end
The evolution of understanding this song in particular (however there are many) for me is so moving. I listened to this as a naive preteen, relating to it in my own way but still understood his aggression and vulnerability... then to grow up and hear it again later in life and truly empathize with his life in that moment, the way he was able to lyrically and technically put this song together is masterclass. Truly a classic for so many reasons.
His mother was actually 15 when she got married to the man who would eventually be EMINEM’s father to help her escape an abusive stepfather. He left before EM was even a year old and his mom met another man when EM was in his teens his mom got pregnant and gave birth to his half brother Nate when he was 14 and there was a whole thing about them in and out of foster care growing up. EMINEM also has another brother Michael and a half sister Sarah. EMINEM adopted Nate after he became famous and raised him since he was a teenager and he lived with EM through his 20s before settling down with a girl and having kids. Most don’t know about Michael or Sarah because they are fairly distant and don’t talk at all. They weren’t even mentioned in his autobiography. Virtually nothing is known about Michael, his whole life is a mystery and the only things we know about Sarah are that she maybe works as a waitress and lives in California and that she didn’t know she was related to him until last year when she was 23 when they finally told her. Nate is 36 now. No clue how old Michael is, just that he is older than Nate, but younger than EM. Anyway, as EM got famous and everything his mother made an album going after him for the things he was saying about her and sued him for $10 million for defaming her in his song Cleaning Out My Closet. He then made a song with a section calling out and dissing her lawyer. He threatened to sue so the label had to bleep out his name, even in the explicit version of the song. In December 2007 he overdosed and almost died. This put him in a coma and when he woke up and got out of the hospital he voluntarily went back into rehab where he began writing his Relapse album. Most of the songs off of that album and the unreleased sequel that was supposed to come out later that same year were written and recorded while he was detoxing. In Marshall Mathers LP 2 he made the song Headlights apologizing to his mother and squashing that feud. In 2022 EM was inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame and his mother was interviewed about it saying that she was very proud of him and said that he did it all on his own. His father once did an interview saying he was proud of EM and it absolutely pissed him off that this man he never knew would talk about how proud he is like he did something to help him accomplish it. His dad died a while back and in his most recent album he made the song Leaving Heaven just going all out and tearing his father to shreds saying that this was it, he’s said his piece and he isn’t going to let it weigh on him anymore. His father’s new family tried and failed to sue him because he said in the song how he wanted to go down to hell and beat the crap out of him and dig up his body to spit in his face.
I think this is the best rap song I've ever heard. It has everything, rithm, flow, lyric, real content... Dude, I don't think anybody has done something like that before or after.
One of the best flows, and perfect syllable hitting songs I’ve ever heard in my life!
This song is -in my books- a perfect one. You can really hear the frustration and anger in Em's voice in this. Combined with the flow and cadence (together with the awesome beat that he himself made), it's just perfection
Fun Fact: the chorus for this song is based on a line from the Eric B. & Rakim track “As The Rhyme Goes On” off their classic 1987 album Paid in Full. The original line: “I’m the R, the A, to the K-I-M / If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?”
I think you audience would love to see you react to "Kim". It is very hard and sad and traumatic song by Em, but who is better qualified to react than psychotherapist... I would love to hear your ideas about the mental state that you have to be in to write that type of song and even go and record it in the studio...
P.S. as I know Em even does female sound in that song.
I mean it's a tough one but he also needs to do 97 Bonnie and Clyde.
*_THIS._* A psychotherapist’s reaction to that just makes so much sense. That song was deep/personal for Em, and I’d love to see the breakdown by RT.
Yep. It's from way back. It and the album it's on, the MMLP, dropped in 2000. It also happens to be the first official (lead) producing credit that Em ever received on a song. It was actually before he wholly learned how to operate all the relevant producing equipment. And before he even entirely understood what producing was.
So he did not intentionally set out to earn said producing credit. During a conversation he was having with the Bass Brothers, he casually mentioned to them that he knew what he wanted the music/beat to sound like for 'The Way I Am.' He wanted it to sync up with the rhythm and cadence he planned to use in his delivery. And because he had no other means to demonstrate it to them. He hummed it out for them with as much detail as he could. After hearing Em's impromptu demonstration, one of the Bass Brothers congratulated him on essentially producing his first track. To Em's pleasant surprise.
eminem's therapy is his songs and lyrics
Apologies, 25 to life, Stay wide awake, Beautiful.............. The list is to long and he's still making absolute Gems 😅👌
There’s to many to name, that’s a fact!
been waiting for this one it’s such a classic and one of his best songs ever imo, don’t know if you already reacted to my dad’s gone crazy or sing for the moment but if you didn’t, you should🧡
One of my favorite Emm song its so raw and from the heart. Music is my medicine as well and i use my writing to vent and stay sane. Witch at the moment i am needing to start doing again thank you guys at reaction therapy and thank you to Marshall Mathers for coing from the heart on this one it has helped me get threw a lot of hard times just listening to it and feeling his energy cond threw reminds me that everyone has their own struggle but i can be overcome. Emm is definitely
One of the best lyrical geniuses of our if not all time. Brilliance and insanity is a fine line i find my self slaloming often.
Please react to *_“Eminem - Kim”_* - I thought for sure as a psychotherapist touching on a lot of rap, and other genres, that you would have for sure made a video on Eminem’s song _”Kim”_ … So I was genuinely surprised when I seen you didn’t do it yet. And from the other Eminem titles you listed, lots of people would love to see that reaction!
Appreciate the breakdowns! ~
been waiting for this one!
Yes I needed this . I've been so stressed lately. Absolutely splendid 😃 💯
Em has been sober for about 14 years 🙌🏼🙌🏼
You should react to Eminem careful what you wish for next
Definitely 👍
And definitely rhyme or reason
One of the early rappers and one of ems biggest influences, Rakim, has a bar where he says “if I didn’t then why would I say I am” so eminem is paying homage to him by using some of the same lyrics
Em is so awesome. Sort of a poet through rap.
One of my favorite Eminem songs. Thank you for this reaction!
Another insightful similar song is "don't approach me" feat xzibit, you should definitely try that, it also has a music video. x is one of the most underrated rappers in my humble opinion. dope lyrics, nice flow, clean voice, gangsta 'ttude.
By the way, if Em has a music video for a track, make sure to do that (dirty version) instead of a lyrical video, this one had one too and although it was more of a simple video, his attitude on it really enhances the vibe of the song.
I am admire how Eminem use his voice to say how he feels about whole difficult situation and I have no doubt he is incredibly talented rapper 😊
8:06 I was watching this video thinking anybody could figure that out, until this part. I thought he was just trying to get a rhyme, but I never noticed the double entendre. Great catch.
I signed up for better help. My therapist told me I needed drugs, not therapy. Lol wtf
One of my favorite songs by EM
Honestly, my favourite Em music video
1 of very few reaction channels i have subbed to. love your content dude.
You absolutely need to react to River by Eminem and Ed Sheeran it's right up your alley
Once an addict by J Cole! You’ll love the deep and raw lyrics !
the "i am" is paying homage to Rakim from his song "its the R" and it goes "im the r the a to the k,i,m if i wasnt then why would i say i am"
One of eminems best
You are such a positive person ! Inspiring ❤
His song fine line goes into the way his fame has him trapped inside on his own. A real juxtaposition if that’s the right word 😂
I am fighting a little against panic attacks, i also drink alot because that helps, but i also know that it makes it harder actually, but i you dude alot, nice to watch these :) And Eminen has been my favorite since when i was 13 years old, like ,twenty years ago..
You should listen to Under The Influence by Current Joys or 2014. they’re a different kind of genre that you usually listen to but, they’re an amazing band with deep powerful messages in their songs!!
That cadence tho!
The way I am
GOAT REACTION TO ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVER MADE
"It seems the media immediately points a finger at me" sums up most of the media's responses to tragedies in america
More eminem in this reaction, please!
I don’t know if people remember how on The Slim Shady LP and The Marshall Mathers LP the songs ran into each other like a record with the sound and all hahaha
Ive been watching you whenever you come up for id say about a month or 2 and i gotta say your a unique reactor in a good way keep it up
Em's therapy is hiphop.
The way i am is my favourite of all time from em
Such a masterpiece
This track is more catchy cause of the style of poetry he wrote this in. It was Dr. Seuss's style which besides this verse i only kmow of 3stacks did a similar style in rap
Fame is a tough thing - I would like to be that guy who wouldn't walk up and bother someone I admired, but at the same time, it could be your only opportunity in your life to meet this person that has had an effect on you. I get it - everyone feels that way and that is the problem - the dogpile effect it has on a celebrity - again, that's what makes it so hard. Indecently, it's also the reason I never want to be famous - I'll take the money, but you can keep the fame!
i always loved blasting this out of my del sol in places like church parking lots as I waited for my friends lil brother to get out of sunday school lol. other times i would play some marilyn manson antichrist superstar, gotta mix it up lol ahh to be young again. o wait, id still do that hahaha.
2:45
Please react to more Eminem. He is just so poetic with his raps.
Before when he was using lol hes been using since u can first hear him
Sorry, you said this sounds like fighting music, but Eminem actually has a song from when he was with his group called D12 which is titled 'Fight Music' which you should check out.
Classic Slim Shady 💯 🔥 💐 💐. 🤘🏻
Bro, I'm been going to therapy since I was a kid....... I'm getting annoyed/angry at just trying to schedule the 🤬cking thing and I'm not going to forget the drive with gas prices and I'm not turning my HOME, the one place I'm supposed to be safe from the world and you want me to invite someone I've never seen before in???? No way.
I hear you and I get it👍
After 3 months he reacts to it thank you
You gotta do Joyner Lucas I’m Sorry music video. It’s so incredibly candid about Joyner’s cousin committing suicide.
A psychotherapist going thru a rap lyric.... It do not get any better.
Eminem- Marshall mathers song from Marshall mathers lp
“You can say what you say n we can reframe it so you’re able to go out n tolerate some more of it”
Eminem aside, this is really important. We’re in an era of conservative redpill n one of the things they preach is be a man n man up because you don’t need to see a therapist n how therapy is a grift n a scam n how therapists can’t fix you n that’s why you gotta keep going back n they hustle money from you…your quote is the best response to that. Sometimes you can’t fix it. But a therapist can walk you through the things you bottle up n show you healthy ways to get it out so it doesn’t mold you into something toxic to yourself or others.
Much respect for listening to the dirty version :D
Tom, Eminem- My darling
Do Kim do KIM PLEASE! ITS his most disturbing song to date
It’s shocking that a psychotherapist hasn’t done “Eminem - Kim” yet. I’m baffled.
@@ghoulishtheories7979 ikrr
Maybe not so known fun fact is that the "cocky Caucasians" line is actually aimed directly at Howard Stern for an interview he did previously, Stern was just being a complete A-Hole the entire time and never letting Em speak.
Another great vid ❤
This song tops "my name is"
4:15 you were goin' well hahahahhaha
Tom, Eminem- My Darling
I remember the massacre in 99'
We lost 13 angels.
Hey !!!!! MMLP going old school! 2000 !
Classic. Love it. Please react to Eminem - Book Of Rhymes, you won't be disappointed, he speaks about bipolar borderline disorder too :P
Wish you would've touched on the "when a dudes getting bullied and shoots up a school and they blame it on Marilyn (Manson) and the heroin" and then he said they blame him. This was back when the columbine shooting had happened and the media was blaming everything that shouldn't have anything to do with it. Music (rock and rap music in particular) video games, drugs, contributing all those those to causing the violence. I love how he asked "where were the parents at?" Like yeah why were they able to fly under the radar like that? Why did no one keep an eye on them after they were arrested for stealing computer equipment and threatening to kill another student and talking about making pipe bombs? Why were they able to stash weapons and ammo in their rooms without being detected by their families? "Let's just blame music and video games for what they did" that's horseshit. Oh and the "now it's a tragedy, now it's so sad to see a upper class city having this happening" like yeah it's sad what happened that innocent kids were shot up in a school but why don't we keep that same energy for violence in lower class neighborhoods? Why doesn't the gun violence in the projects matter as much to the media and the rest of middle and upper class america? Why does it have to be a predominantly white and middle-upper class city full of well of people with well of kids that get shot for it to be paid attention. This song is so deep it's insane. Fire reaction though Tom.
You should check out walk on water
No disrespect but this song was released 23 years ago! Check it! People just catching up with it now? Where you been!? When I first heard it back then it was a favorite. I didn't get the impression that it was that well liked. 23 years later everyone loves it! What's up wit that!?
Please do kill you by Eminem, or Criminal. Those songs will scare hell out of you.
It’s a way of telling everyone screw you
Leave me alone
Stop with the autographs
Stop fallowing me
No cameras
This came in 2000. As far as I know he wasn't a drug addict at the time, only a few years later.
Eminem was always on drugs. It got real bad around that time when Proof got killed. But he was always on drugs. 😂you’re not gonna make a song like “my fault” and be a sober human being lol
I'd love for you to react to slipknot it would be interesting to hear your take on the aggression from my plague or disaterpiece
Ok ... I still love watching....
Love the insight in your videos would you be able too react too five finger death punch
Wrong side of heaven
u should try eminem our house
Can u do Kim?
1,000% needs to be done!
He is still the best ❤😂🎉😢😮😅
Yahweh: "I Am."
Jesus: "if it were not so, would I have told you?"
Eminem: "if it wasn't, why would I say I AM?"
Could you react to castle by Eminem or also skillet
His 3rd album 💿 although I count it has his 2nd one I don’t really count infinite
Hi everyone
could u react to "Rammstein - Deutschland" please, it has such a great video film and music
People will still tell me this channel isn’t a business even though there are literal in video product placement ads now
Thirteen by Johnny Cash?
❤
Just came across this guy today, he’s obviously religious! WHY NO RECOMMENDATIONS FOR -- BEST FRIEND ft Yellawolf? 🤷🏻♂️ come on - real Em fans know that’s the verse 😉🐐
eminem jay z blueprint
Please react to Joan Osborne’s song One Of Us ❤
Kinda like the myth that Jesus sat on the temple throne. The voodoo that said I AM was blasphemy. Monty Python dealt with that fodder.
Listen to killshot
Pls do Cadet
Man do young boy again pls
Dude , why did i stop celebrating my birthday at 8 y.o.????
Annything works just help figure it out