Ibe been arrested for drunk driving 7 times. I quit drinking very suddenly 4 years ago. There is nothing whatsoever good about alcohol. I don't miss it at all, ever. I'm still living with the negative consequences. Lost time, lost opportunities and relationships that are irreparable. Not to mention the debt. All this still after 4 years sober. Good riddance to alcohol
Well done Chadalpha. Definitely keep up with that! I know it's so hard to do. One thing that helped me was this quote: Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything. Kept me on the straight and narrow. Best wishes from Australia
You can get your relationships back and time is only an illusion. You can live a full life at any age! I applaud your progress and I'm sending you love❤
One thing that helped me was this quote: Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything. Kept me on the straight and narrow. Best wishes from Australia.
@@karenjohnson6137 Some fall somewhere in between…I’ve never given up everything for one thing. It feels more like a constant recovery regardless of the “thing” that catches your attention. Kids, marriage, alcohol, food, diet, exercise…I’ve done it all excessively for a period of time. Balance is key for me!
Unless you are addicted to multiple things like I was. I am not saying hardcore drugs. But nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, and the one that I was unaware of was junk food. I was unaware because it is food so I didn't think it was so bad. I mean, we need food right? 😂 Turns out when I realized I had a problem with that and went on a strict diet it made everything else easier to quit. Excess junk food=depression=substance abuse to try and deal with the depression. That is simplified of course I had to deal with a lot of suppressed negative emotions but I was able too when I stopped suppressing them with that sh**. I am happier, free'er, lighter and healthier than I have been since who knows when.
Alcohol is like a narcissist. No contact is the only option. I listen this podcast because I need a solution for my drinking it’s damaging my life and gives me anxiety that I came to conclusions that anxiety itself can kill you in hangover state. Please pray for me to.🩸
#1. A person that doesn't have a problem with alcohol doesn't worry if they do. #2. I never got into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble, I'd been drinking!!! With the grace of God and a lot of AA people, on July 1st 2023 I've been sober 32 years.
Tradition Eleven talks about the importance of anonymity, stating "Here was something rare in the world". Truer words have never been spoken. We are so blessed to be a part of that "rare thing", that not only saved our lives, but gave us a "design for living", by which we live in abundance! Your 32 years is evidence that long term sobriety is not only possible, but probable "IF" we are WILLING! 🐪✌All the best to you...Mark
Ten days sober after 40 + years drinking. I like the great sleep, the feeling of freedom and I feel a lightness. I hope I don’t lapse but am confident that I feel better without than with alcohol 🙏
I just had my 9 year anniversary of zero alcohol. I was a daily drinker for 30 years. Wine or beer. People around me drank the same, so it never felt like a problem. It was fun and celebrating and connecting. Then in the 2008 financial meltdown, my life crashed financially. Honestly lost everything. The 10 or so years that I was trying to claw my way back was horrible, demeaning and I honestly lost relationships because I saw who turned their back on me. Drinking was no longer a celebration. It was a coping mechanism. I would polish off a bottle of wine a day. When I finally saw my life improving financially, I was at a doctors appointment because I had tingling in my feet. He named the possible causes, and I said bingo. It’s the drinking. I decided to not drink for a full month. 9 years later I haven’t had a drink. I still don’t tell myself I’ll never drink again, because my rebellious side will sabotage me. But, one day or situation at a time I just haven’t went back even though I felt anxiety when I sat at a restaurant table with people all drinking cocktails at times. And zero alcohol beer is my friend. They are served in most restaurants and bars, and they taste amazing. Not like they did 20 years ago. Super chilled mug, and I feel that same celebration and festive and belonging. With zero alcohol.
It does taste good, but it contains .03% alcohol. Shouldn't worry because a lot of foods have a little bit in them. Up to .05% ABV. Once I drove to a concert with a 6 pack of Coors Cutter in the passenger seat. I didn't know about that
Congrats on the 9 years. I am 61 years old and been a HEAVY drinker and drug user since I was 14 years old. Today is day 41 sober which is a major accomplishment for me. And you are so right. The few times I go out and have a zero alcohol beer it's almost a mental thing but I feel buzzed from the feeling of cold bottle, taste of beer, hanging with friends and that festive etc that I forget it's non-alcohol. The only downsize it messes with the stats on my sober app because it shows I have saved $1025 so far from quitting drinking ($25 a day) and those non alcoholic beers ironically cost a dollar more than the local home beer. Just joking of course but going to just stick to club soda. I like the weight loss that comes from quitting drinking because you pay attention to what you eat everyday. So it's crazy now that I am sober I care about empty calories when I used to eat at a 7-11 store for dinner.
I was actually addicted to alcohol since my teenage. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Yes he's Dr.benfungi. Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I was horrifically depressed since childhood. It was relentless. I assumed it would ultimately end me somehow. About twelve years ago I randomly accepted the offer from a friend of a few doses of mushrooms. I did them two consecutive nights alone. First night was pretty mild. The second night? Wow. I saw my depression from every angle, realized much. Next day: depression totally gone. Never came back, never coming back. It's like it's a forest far away I can remember, and could probably find again with enough effort, but it has zero impact on anything in my life or mind. They honestly saved my life and improved it immensely. I never did them again, either. I wish there was a good, organized way to administer them to people who would benefit from them.
Mel. You never duck and dive. You never hide. You never manipulate. You fess up. Your courage, honesty and integrity is truly inspiring. You more than belong. You are a centre. 🥰
Wow! This takes away the constant guilt of fighting with myself! I realize I need to treat not only others with kindness but myself as well. BTW, Rachel did not answer your question of whether or not she herself still drinks... Not that it really matters I suppose.
You don’t have to be an alcoholic or have a problem with alcohol to quit drinking. You can just come on over to the alcohol free healthy life style to feel wonderfully young again. As in feel like you are 12. Wake up feeling great. Watch the weight fall off. Feel healthy and confident. Come join the youthful again, Mel !!! Sleep better. Be a good role model to your kids. Wake up and feel like working out. Enjoy donating the money you no longer spend to your favorite charity. Lower your risk of breast cancer and colon cancer. Join the fun healthy club and come on over to the sober side !
When I was wondering if I was an alcoholic and should stop drinking, going back and forth, my counselor said the one thing that helped me make my decision; “people that are not alcoholics don’t ever think about quitting because they are not obsessing about it.” I have been sober ever since. 38 years.
Sober over 5 months now, best decision of my life. So much abundance has come to me since I quit. Alcohol keeps our vibrational frequency low, thats the whole point of it being legal still, keeps us down.
I appreciate Mel's honesty and feeling of "I deserve this because I work so hard " etc. The thing that I came to realize is that alcohol is not a gift to my health (in fact, it's the opposite) so it's impossible to view it as a 'treat' after a long day knowing how it will make me feel tomorrow, the health problems it will exacerbate. Sobriety is the gift to myself and my body thanks me for it! Cheers to that
I was sober for 8 years and for the past 5 have been drinking again, mostly wine. Now I'm 3 days sober and I'm excited to be back on the path of feeling clear-headed and amazing. Thanks Mel!
I can relate so hardcore to this Mel. Here’s what I’ve discovered recently.. I would never spend this much time debating ANY other relationship in my life as I have the relationship with alcohol. Anything or anyone who causes that much mental and emotional gymnastics in my life generally gets kicked to the curb. So that’s what i finally decided to do with that relationship. Undecided if we’ll ever speak again but for now and possibly long term, that trash is staying at the curb where I kicked it! 😀🙌🏻
Just to update…it’s now been 6 months no alcohol for me and I’ve never felt better. Zero desire for it. Zero days of debate or regret. 100000% increase in confidence. Improved skin, improved sleep, the list goes on and on. Productive weekends, more authenticity in relationships with everyone else and more importantly a more authentic relationship with myself. No more battles in my head. Zero hangovers, making better nutritional decisions and work performance 10000 times improved. I have zero negative effects to report. Not boring. Not difficult actually at all. I was not in a level of hardcore addiction though so I do not want to minimize anyone else’s struggles. I’m just speaking from my personal experience as a person who had the mental fatigue of wanting to cut back or quit but kept on that crazy path of cognitive dissonance surrounding alcohol. In my opinion, if you are constantly questioning it, that’s just too much precious energy wasted. There’s a whole life of peace for you on the other side of it.❤😊
I spent time in France and they really have it figured out. They allow themselves the pleasures of food and drink. They eat croissants, cheese, Baggett, and drink wine because of the pleasure of it, and savor it. They take 2 hour lunches and walk and bike alot for transportation. They don't overindulge because they don't feel guilty about pleasure. We have alot to learn.
Politely disagree. I am so glad that I do not drink. I have lived in Europe and seen too many people drink there, too. Alcohol really is a control thing.
Not my experience in rural France. Wine is super cheap and it's too easy to drink. For the locals who don't have anything else in their lives they start with a petit rosé at 7am..... And this continues throughout the day. I'm not saying this is everyone. In any event I got into the habit although not in the day and fortunately stopped drinking 11 months ago.
You need to talk with Annie Grace. I followed her alcohol experiment 30 days. She doesn’t ask you to quit drinking. She helps you retrain your brain. I quit drinking most a year ago and have no urges what so ever. Don’t miss it. No more cognitive dissidents
Just over 26 months alcohol-free over here. For me, it was more of a very lazy habit than a raging addiction. The past 5 years of my life became what I refer to as '3 Deaths and a Pandemic'. I let it get me down, and began to inhale a very tall nightly rum & coke. Make a significant investment in myself, to put my biz (and life, really) back together in early May 2021. Looked at the rum bottle that night and said: "Not today!" Have made that same decision every day since. Not always easy. There have been many times I've thought: "One of those would taste really good right now!" But, I'm much more dedicated to building the best version of myself (all all the exercise and positive thinking/actions) since making my decision. Am 20+ pounds down, and feeling great. Happier. Healthier. More clear-headed. It was the right decision!
Been on the same boat as you congratulations on your efforts. I have just recently feel off the track but will use your post to put me back on track. ❤
I have been considering quitting drinking. I have been watching you tube videos on the affects of alcohol on anxiety. Over the last two weeks of not drinking, I have noticed that my anxiety is at a way lower level. There’s absolutely no benefit of alcohol for me. Thank you for this episode, perfect timing for me.
It’s been 6 weeks for me this time and haven’t missed it at all. Saves so much money and feel so much better. I support you to keep up with this endeavor. 👏
Anxiety... Fear that I won't get what I think I deserve in the future. Depression... Fear that I didn't get what I thought I deserved in the past. Anger... I'm not getting what I think I deserve right now! The principles behind the 12 Steps help us deal with all of this! I hope you give 12 Step Recovery a chance. I got more from them, than any shrink!
Sober six months and I love it! I’m learning to do my life WITHOUT the alcohol “crutch”! Doing parties sober and surrounded by drinkers has been the biggest shocker. People that drink are VERY uncomfortable with non-drinkers….they just don’t understand. Hmmmm, maybe THEY need to look at their relationship with alcohol.
If alcohol was a problem for you, then being surrounded by drinkers is like playing Russian Roulette. I sincerely hope that you don't have to find out the hard way.
So true! I am an occasional drinker, sober curious I will say. I am often times around drinkers, sober and it’s kills me. It’s like I have a plague. So now I make it a game 😉 One friend always asks if I’m drinking. When I say no, she will say “oh saving up for tomorrow?” I say nope not drinking then either. She just sits there quiet! I love it. I feel great, I sleep great. My skin has never looked better. No joint pain, no ailments that’s I was noticing before. It’s amazing. Next step 100% sober.
I have stopped on and off at various times in my life. First drink was at 11 and I am now 63. The longer you are away from it the more it will smell like pure gasoline. It took me longer than 3 months to experience this; more like 9 months. The first year was interesting - the holidays were still stressful, but not nearly as bad. 😅 I picked it up again several times and each time is was harder to put it back down. I never got into trouble and no one would have said “oh she’s got a problem” - but I did. I am so happy that science is showing us just how bad it is once it enters the body and breaks down into a lethal substance - something that you would never ingest. Its why you pee so much- the body is trying to get rid of it by turning off a hormone that balances hydration. I pray that I have finally kicked it for good. ❤
Been off alcohol this time for 6 weeks and counting. Let’s urge each other to continue. Save money, feel so much better every day. Putting poison and sugar in our bodies. Let’s keep going.
I’ve been a pretty much a daily drinker all my life. Loved this podcast and Rachel’s work, especially figuring out what my urge was to drink. Then also thru Mel, I found the work of Dr Mindy Pelz. I’ve been able to combine a fasting life style with replacing alcohol with herbal tea, working out, walks, reading. It’s been 20 days and I’ve never felt sharper, stronger and happier! Going on 82 yrs old!! Thank you Mel, Mindy and Rachel!
"I can pour myself a drink....that's a whole lot easier than asking someone for what I need......holy shit!! That's the whole thing right there!!!! This was an absolute ah-ha moment truth bomb for me. I've just been trying to give myself a hug in the only way I know how 🍷.....for decades
I have reframed the way I feel sober from deprivation and self-pity to knowing that I am living smarter, wiser, healthier and superior even in that I have grown and matured not to mention have more money and peace of mind and real joy and fulfillment in ways I never thought possible. I am 55 and so grateful and proud to be sober without struggle.
Thank you for this. So much. Thankyou for everything you share actually but this is timely for me. 😏 at some point I’d like to share with you what’s happening in my life. Not because it’s interesting for either of us but because I think it’ll help me and others to share our stories. Every time someone has the courage to share vulnerably we help others do the same. And when we are vulnerable, we stop a lot of the fear we hold in ourselves and are often not even aware of it.
I started drinking water from a chilled glass at the pool hall. It wasn’t long before almost the whole pool team was drinking water. I am so glad that pool nights now are times I don’t have to question whether I am going to drink. What a relief. The bar maid even started fixing us pitcher of water and glasses ready to go
I had my last drink 41 years ago and this decision has made my life so much better. For me, the constant thinking about shall I drink? How much? Did anyone notice how much or how often I drank. It just wasn't worth the angst. I haven't had a drink since and haven't missed it one little bit. Honest!
I was exhausted negotiating with myself every day about drinking. I stopped drinking alcohol on 12/17/23. So far I’m at peace emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
When you start to question your relationship with alcohol, it means it’s time to change it or leave it altogether. It’s like when you have a toxic relationship with someone for a long time but then you start noticing things that didn’t bother you before but now you’re a bit older and wiser and your mind, body and spirit are telling you that it’s time to move on. Sometimes it’s a lot clearer for some of us because after we drink we wake up in the middle of the night with high heart palpitations and in a panic -this happened to me for 2-3 years before I decided to end my relationship with alcohol. If you liked the taste and created associations between it and fun, friends, etc. it’ll take a while to create new associations. I went through a mourning period and you may lose friends but I feel much better and I approve of this new version of myself. I no longer feel conflicted. On the contrary, I feel at peace about it.
Thank you for saying what you said it’s helped me because I feel like I’ve lost all my friends too😞🤨 hopefully I can make new better friends and a new life without alcohol
@@MrJacobss I’m happy to help! The most important thing is to become friends with yourself. Take your time to heal and then you’ll figure out who or what belongs in your life. Good luck!
Yes! I now remember long ago being underage and drinking alcohol and the good feelings getting away from my feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger… I actually had a thought (BIG FAT LIE) that once I’m of age, I can “get this whenever I want and I will never have to worry about ANYTHING again,” ohhh, how very wrong I was! I didn’t know it until 30 years later that it is quite the opposite. I ended up with more anxiety daily, eventually the sick feelings in the mornings with extreme anxiety and from there, needing a drink before getting out of bed to stop those physical and mental feelings. I wish I would’ve found this video earlier but I still found out some much needed info on how this happens to pretty much anyone who drinks alcohol for whatever you think reasons. It’s very important to know what most go through at just the thoughts of, “what will my life even be like without it? How will I ever have fun etc…” I also felt so guilty that I was doing wrong in Gods eyes. I am so happy to be free! I pray anyone else that is struggling to be set free, in Jesus’ name, amen ❤
What I appreciated most about the podcast was the absence of judgment or shame. You created a safe space for listeners to explore their feelings and experiences with alcohol without feeling condemned. That is incredibly empowering. I've learned so much from this episode, and it's inspired me to take a more intentional and mindful approach to my relationship with alcohol. Your podcast truly has a positive impact on people's lives, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to listen and learn from your wisdom.
I gave up alcohol more than 34 years ago and have been so happy since then. Once I put the plug in the jug, I have been able to face life ( all of its ups and downs) without the crutch of alcohol. I can celebrate very well without alcohol. Elizabeth Goodrich, Texas
I've been on a sobriety journey for the past 4 months and, out of all the literature I've read, all the videos I've watched, all the advice from others I've taken in, all the AA stuff, THIS VIDEO has had the most amount of useful perspective and vocabulary for me personally by far. I'm now an instant fan of Rachel Hart and look forward to absorbing more of her content.
Well done! Please never change your mind. I’ve given up heaps of times for months and months, especially during pregnancy, and always went back. This time I’m determined.
I was sober for a year and it was amazing. It's been 5 months that I started drinking again. I'm falling back to old habits. I do not like it or how it makes me feel. So I'm 4 days sober today again.. starting over!
I quit 3 years ago this October. I had been trying for few years to eat and fitness healthy. I starting having issues with my pancreas which was aggravated by sugars and included alcohol. It took me 1 month to decide to quit cold turkey and never regretted it. I have a all in, or all out personality and cutting back was not a option. Since then my health is better, more morning energy. You do start to see though how alcohol plays a part in may social situations. I now say with no hesitation I am alcohol free.
Mel is me… except I was wine. Oh my gosh the way Rachel is approaching this topic is mind blowing. My eyes have been opened. Feeling all the feels and diving into why you want to drink. I love this…. I have listened to hours of podcasts on this subject, this one is HANDS down the best so far and is literally changing my life. Thank you ❤
Mel, this is 💯 % exactly what’s going on with me too! Exactly; I also started drinking at 14🤦🏻♀️I have this nudge to explore this-and I’m going down the “sober curious” rabbit hole, but then I feel like I don’t want to quit, but then I totally want to quit and then I know it’s literally poison but then I want the wine. I am so excited to see this episode and cannot wait to watch the whole conversation 🙏🏻
Hey! I think I wrote this 😂😂 same exact scenario here. It is great knowing it’s a real thing. The struggle is def real. Ugh. Marketing rules us on so many levels 😮
Watching Young & the Restless was a starting point for a glass of wine in the afternoon back 30 years ago. After all, they’re all drinking. So glamorous! Been sober for 11 1/2 years. Grateful for every day!
Hi Mel, I was the same in total conflict when I drank, my thoughts were totally preoccupied with 'to drink or not to drink' and then when I caved and drank I was consumed with guilt and I felt weak. Then I read Allan Carr's book 'Easy way to control alcohol' and it changed my life. I stopped drinking initially for 9 months but then I started again. What the book did for me was change the control alcohol had over me. I no longer crave alcohol or need it to relax and unwind at the end of day and i no longer constantly think about it. I am currently sober again but have told myself that If I'm out and have a wine it's ok, which i haven't done as yet. Not making it forbidden takes away its power. I no longer constantly think about alcohol, Allan's book set me free, set my mind free and I am so much happier now. Good luck on your journey 😊❤
@@xannaz9226 it has happened to me before with her shorts, it was scary at first like girl, stop leaving me in the street with your truth, but also it has saved me a lot of work! The "let them be theory" is so freaking awesome
I was sober 9.5 years and went back out after 2020. Too many pour me’s that year. I regret it, it’s not worth it. If you’re sober stay sober and if you want to get sober, do it. You won’t regret it ❤
I've just entered 2024 soba, this is the start I needed. No looking back, only forward. I've had a problem with the drug for many years, alcohol had a hold on me. Not now, ive let go now and I'm done,,,,,,,🎉❤
I’m sober for almost 18 mo. My life instantly improved and I have been able to slowly let go of the guilt and shame I have carried. Life is such a glorious gift and I don’t ever want to waste another moment drinking.
I’ve been sober for 2 yrs 2 days. I cannot moderate. I cannot stop, when I start. I’m 50 and my body wasn’t metabolizing the alcohol like it did in my 20s. Now, I need to kick my sugar and spending addiction. I’ve transferred one addiction to another.
@sheilaryanamith this is so interesting and wise of you to notice... Alcohol will have been your ally to "silence" whatever need is being looked after by taking it. When the alcohol goes, your brain can of course replace it with sugar... then spending... and so many other things... I totally agree with you. So the question around noticing what's the need behind the urge... that's the interesting space for exploration... What's the need and what do I need to let go of, in order to be the "captain of my soul"... What's the real conflict or issue fueling the tendency for addiction? That's the interesting space...
I’m a total non drinker and this podcast has given me insights and a completely different non-judgemental understanding about alcohol and addictions in general. I wish I’d had this knowledge in my teens and not had to wait until my late sixties! However, better late than never and even now I feel so lucky to have heard this podcast. I feel set free.
This is great! 5 months sober & absolutely grateful! Feeling my emotions is a gift. I have learned so much about myself in the last 5 months. Having lists of writing the benefits of not drinking versus drinking, those lists will open your eyes to what’s possible. Then write a list of your why you don’t want to drink. Then read it that every few months! You’ll be amazed at how much you have accomplished.
My Friend Mel- You are so hard on yourself!!! Ease up on the self criticism and just allow yourself to ENJOy a cocktail!!! Your internal conflict is working overtime!! Love you!!! ❤
This reminds me of someone saying to me one time that “ people are always trying to find a way to “get high” or get that Dopamine rush to your brain. It’s like spinning around until you were dizzy when you were a kid. “ so this is a great conversation to learn more about yourself. Learn why you do things. But that brain and the dopamine…. Almost everything gives the brain that rush. Sugar alcohol, eating, weed, even exercise. So it is a constant battle ..and we all go through it. It’s very hard.
This is exactly where I’m at with alcohol. My body doesn’t seem to process it the same since menopause in the last 2 years and I am coming to grips with the fact that a couple on a Saturday night just isn’t worth it.
Andrew Huberman's 2-hr podcast about the effects of alcohol on your brain and everything else convinced me that this dithering confusion is ridiculous. I'm now sober 25 days, expect to continue and find other ways to stimulate "fun".
This is an eye opener for me. I am a foodaholuc, and spendaholic. I've had a gastric bypass and have lost over 100 lbs. I still have to be ever vigilant about what I eat or what I'm buying.(I'm close to being a hoarder) Now I can see they are connected. Thank you for giving me a different way to look at it!
I love this, because I think everyday at the end of a stressful day, I say to myself I'm not stopping to pick up beer and I find myself stopping and picking up beer, because this is my stress relief.
Annie Grace explains this feeling. 'Cognitive dissonance.' We all wrestle with this feeling eventually. Then hopefully wake up. Coming up to 5 years sober, best decision ever. was a drinker for over forty years.
I applaud you for your openness and for having this frank dialogue with Rachel. I thought I was taking a break a year ago and felt so good- became alcohol free for good.
I don't know where you are spiritually, but I believe that the conflict is God's conviction. I too struggle. God is convicting me but I still go back to drinking because it is a habit when I do things like watching the sunset. Then I feel the guilt the next morning. Thank you for this talk! I am going to do the 30 days! Today is day 3! Love and prayers to you both and all those struggling with this 'habit'!
Day 57! I am very proud of myself! I went to a concert where I've never gone without drinking but had a fancy coffee instead ($2 vs $14 beer!)....just having the cup in my hand helped me. I realize I was no more, or had anymore, fun than when drinking alcohol and clear head the next morning without feeling guilty! Thank you so much for asking!!
Omg! I couldn't agree more with you here. The conflict for me started sometime last year. I would say toward the end of summer. I just had this thought come to me that I should consider quitting. I could not understand why I was having this thought. I am a responsible drinker. I'm 39, and so yes, I believe I can say I am definitely better with my alcohol. I don't drink to get drunk. Well, anyway.. I argued with the thought. And I told myself I would quit, but only after I finished up all the wine I still had left in my home. Didn't happen. I continued. Then, once again, the thought came back to me toward the end of the year. To QUIT! I was conflicted yet again. So here's what I did... I spoke to God. I asked him if this particular thought was one of spirit. Meaning.. God wants me to quit. OR is this my own personal thought suggesting I quit for whatever reason.. I petition to God, to please send me a message at church. To let me hear something that could validate it was from God. I went to church that following Sunday, and my pastor spoke on alcohol and shared this scripture.. Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; I was blown away! 😳 I felt the spirit testify to me that God does indeed hear our thoughts and prayers. I am 9 days sober.. and hope to continue on this new sober path. 🙏 😊
@@esiree9991 Oh amen, praise Jesus!! I am in love with Your testimony and I am so happy to hear this! VERY inspiring! 🫶🏻🙏🏼✨ I just knew as well and I couldn’t quit and just felt guiltier and guiltier. NO MORE! Praise our Holy Spirit!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I have been struggling to stop drinking and this podcast helped me realize that I have used alcohol as a numbing tool for all the sadness and depression I felt as a kid. As well as having undiagnosed adhd that has kept me from understanding what truly makes me happy. I’m grateful I came across this as it gives me the push to do the internal work.
I stopped drinking a few months ago. Stopped smoking just over a month ago. Ironic part….I work within the alcohol industry. Trying to get out of it. So far I’m running into roadblocks finding another job…..but I know it’s beyond time to move on. I can’t sell alcohol when I choose to not drink it due to my own reasons.
One reason I decided to quit drinking was that constant debate/guilt/shaming in my mind. I don’t think that’s unhealthy - I think it’s the intelligent brain fighting the very physical addiction. It took me two years to quit for good, because of the 20 year physical addiction - not because my will wasn’t strong enough. One of the reasons I love being sober is that I don’t have to keep having that stupid, nagging debate. It was very annoying. Nice lady, go ahead and quit, and you’ll become obsessed with how amazing you can feel. You’ll love the clarity. Quitting has changed my life in so many gorgeous ways, and I’ll never go back. FUCK ALCOHOL and the drinking culture. I was keeping up with the boys for a long time… now I’m beating them. Watch Huberman Lab’s talk on alcohol if you haven’t!
I quit drinking 5 years ago and realized pretty quickly that I didn't have much in common with my friends anymore. I decided to quit when I looked back on the money and time I spent on alcohol. It was a habit when I had a good day or a bad day so I was always running to the liquor store. Not to mention the health issues especially with the brain. I want to be healthy in my older age and now I feel liberated that I do not need to put poison in my body to have a good time. Think brain health the next time you want a drink.
I can’t even tell you how much I relate to this. I don’t drink much but every time I do I go through the same mind games that you do. I always regret it and always ask myself why I did it cuz I don’t enjoy it.
I quit the multiple drinks a day on 7/5/23 after years of drinking to get my health back up to optimum wellness. Just as an experiment yesterday 7/16/23...I had one drink. That was it and it was no big fun for me. No multiples. Not easy but I "want" to stay on my path of health and wellness at 65. I've cut out sugar and only eating Carnivore which is helping my arthritic pain go away. Love and best wishes to those who choose to quit or cut back. ❤🙏
I am so grateful that this podcast was a “God-incidence” for me today😢😮💨🤗. I’ve drinking daily starting when I wake up…I have Barrett’s Esophagus & I know alcohol & cigarettes are contributing factors. I do both. Had to have an endoscopy month ago & was told it’s now turned into precancerous cells (w/ablation). Last week had another endoscopy & the doc went in & burned the cells which is very uncomfortable now. I haven’t stopped drinking or smoking & tell me self “ I CANT STOP, I’m a self serving fucking idiot & I guess I’ll let it kill me because I CANNOT STOP” the madness of my lower brain😫😭! Since watching this I pray I will do the 30 day challenge & “work the tools” to the best of my ability. I need to notice how I feel before I drink knowing it’s fear motivated. Fear won’t kill me if I notice it & make note…my condition will be exacerbated &WILL KILL ME if I choose not to try. Grateful to have listened today💕
I love this conversation. I believe our soul nudges us when it is time to reflect around our substance use. Sometimes taking a 30 day break can help guide us forward and give us the clarity we need IMHO. ❤
YOU hit the nail on the head, Mel, when you realized the final choice to drink wins, just because you are sick of the "I shouldn't have a drink/I really want a drink" ping pong conversation happening at the moment. And the toddler analogy works perfectly here. Reasoning with your lower brain that you won't drink doesn't work, just like a toddler, you have to replace the "No" with a distraction. I can't get behind quitting. But I'm going to see, tonight, what happens when I delay for 30 minutes, and don't get the beer until 5:30. I'm really going to note what happens in the two brains. I'll probably clean out a drawer for half an hour or something.
I can attest to the delay analogy - heard something similar on a different podcast about how if we delay indulging in our craving, eventually the craving will stop and keeping yourself distracted or busy is definitively key. It worked for me, you got this too!!!!
Wow! This hits home. I do the same back and forth talk , feel like when am I going to grow up talk. I drink to turn my brain off, hangover turns my brain off further and I get a break. It’s unhealthy and yes socializing, dopamine plays a big part.
Hi Mel, I drank for 40 years. At least 2 to 3 beers a day (more on the weekends). Always at the end of the day...as my reward for dealing with stress. 5 years ago, I stumbled upon the Wim Hof breathing technique. Changed my life. I did try to quit drinking, I just quit enjoying it. Nothing felt better than the vitality the breath work brought me. You may find it useful. Thank you for relentless courage and generosity, Mel. Sending you energy.
Thank you both so very much for this! I have been sober for 4years. Last fall I suddenly couldn’t make myself call myself an alcoholic ever again. And now I am happily bumping and bumbling from insight to insight. This podcast is adding so much to this journey.
Life coaching at its best to all of us. As the saying goes, when the student is ready the teacher appears. Thanks, this comes at a moment when I am deeply conflicted
I have stopped for a year and introduced it back in my life only to control my drinking!! I had my son who was an alcoholic and stopped drinking and goes to AA meetings and has not stopped!! Because I know he is sneaking it around!! ❤
You have to WANT to NOT drink… To be that person that just doesn’t. I stopped drinking a few months ago and my god…it’s been tough. My story is similar to these ladies, drank quite a bit in my teens (party gal), 20s and early 30s… it’s only when I started hitting the gym 2 years ago that I found it counterintuitive to be drinking regularly while I was eating healthy, changing my diet and habits, trying to be healthy and getting in shape (I also stopped smoking at this time and came off all my meds gradually). It’s been the toughest road EVER and it’s still not easy but I’m committed and want to be a NON- drinker.. I’m trying to find and discover that FUN, CAREFREE, CONFIDENT me WITHOUT the alcohol. And I also accept and know deep down that alcohol isn’t the best for my body or brain. I, too, enjoyed the taste of, and loved my wine and cocktails and all my friends and family still drink regularly to this day in their lives and around me…it’s really hard not to want to revert back, but I remind myself every time about all the hard work I’ve put into the gym and into changing my habits, for the good - I look at what I’ve accomplished and achieved and see that hard work pays off (stopped smoking and lost 15 kgs in the gym, maintained, gained muscle, feel strong, confidence in the gym etc) I HAVE to remind myself of these things constantly to KNOW I CAN do whatever I set my mind to. I’m gaining ‘just one more’ alcohol free day, EVERYDAY ❤ and it’s been about six months now… the ‘urges’ are passing, and I’m not making excuses for myself and working through my emotions myself. Definitely not easy!! I was the first to pick up some wine when I was feeling anxious or any uncomfortable feeling..or wanting to celebrate, relax, etc, but now I just will not. I’m very strict with myself. Because I do believe you can create a life long habit and stick to it and it becomes easier the longer you practice it. I believe it will become second nature to me to just NOT think about alcohol at all - I’m really almost there.
Mel actually gets it. She gets the struggle with cognitive dissonance and how we may be on this journey to be sober but often have a back n forth on what is wrong with just having a couple. I appreciate Rachel’s input and appreciate even more Mel’s rebuttals, not just agreeing for agreement sake.
Mel this is for me...I deal with all the same. I'm on day 19 and so thankful for the new tools. I will keep you posted and will listen to this another 10 times. Thank you Mel I love you ❤
What an incredible conversation. I had a thought to share. . . When we tell ourselves and draw the line that I can’t do something, we often slip into a child/parent relationship based around rules and ‘have to’s’ that most of us want to rebel against. It unleashes that rebel inside us that says ‘you are not going to tell me what to do.’ Instead of giving ourselves the freedom to choose to do this thing because of a greater purpose for us. When we can utilize the higher brain that is the ‘captain of our own soul’ brain, and choose to do and be who we really want to be, it allows us to cling to that higher commitment to ourselves. If we end up choosing against what we really want for ourselves, we simply learn from ourselves and move forward with who we really want to be. If we don’t know what we really want for ourselves, we will tend to fall for the ‘path of least resistance’ which is how our brains are designed to function. Thank you so much for this. So so good.
For me it's food (sometimes spending, collecting) - and the "I deserve" message has been there since childhood (I'm 70). But what I *deserve* is to love myself and not make food fill the gap of others' conditional love and criticism (ironically, often about my weight - vicious cycle).
You nailed it kiddo! ADHD …loved that podcast because it cemented what I thought about myself for a long time. I actually discovered that alcohol was a tool as a coping mechanism for me. Yes I loved the taste….but i could no longer deny that what I really liked was the feeling that you get when drinking that alcohol. So 10 years ago..I challenged myself to set down the alcohol and learn to cope on my own…new ways….that didnt numb or soften my brain…but to awaken it to new possibilities of management. ADHD and Alcohol…for me…not good.
Mel! When you said "I need a hug".. . Yes! It triggered me. Because like you I can pour my own drink.....😢 it's hard after divorce, and now my youngest off to University....I don't drink every day, but it is Friday night tequila night. 1 Tequila and a club soda to unwind from my week. Or going out on weekend with a friend and having a glass of wine. It is the need to have some sort of pleasure. And you are right it carries over into buying stuff. Love the conversation and enlightenment.!!! THANK YOU ❤️ ❤
This is so relevant to my life! Every day, I have the same urges. I also had my first drink very early on. Now, I have some tools to make a difference for myself. I appreciate so much that I can start to let go of the shame, understand what is happening, and change my own narrative. W, W, W, W, W, & H. Very motivational and inspirational.
I had all of the same thoughts you had about alcohol, shame and how destructive it is to my health, both mentally and physically. That’s why I did the hardest thing in my life and quit alcohol 9 years ago! Admitting you have a problem is the hardest part. I’m a total badass for quitting bc it’s not easy - no excuses and whining! Look at Women for Sobriety- that worked beautifully for me! No shame.
Thank you for your content. I can say I have successfully quit drinking before 5pm and mornings, which is progress and instead of two glasses I am now only having 1. I am thankful for Rachel sharing her experience, as a young African working in an international corporate environment, my workload was my anxiety and from your video, I can now name my craving and desire. It has been 2weeks now I am good, I have the knowledge and am empowered to achieve zero alcohol (if I want).
Thanks to you and Rachel for making this video about alcohol. I’ve been moving towards decreasing and hopefully stopping consuming alcohol. The problem with most other channels that deal with this issue is that they treat wanting to drink as a failure of character and will. Your approach also acknowledges the reasons for why we also enjoy drinking and we shouldn’t feel shame for wanting to, even though we know it’s not good for us. Other channels that have focussed on stopping drinking are hosted by men whose approach is all about stoicism, and dropping facts about what alcohol does to you. But noone I know drinks because they’re looking forward to being poisoned on Friday night. They drink because they want to disassociate or feel free. Without acknowledging the positive reasons for why we drink, we can’t actually move away from it. Thanks again!
❤Thanks for your vulnerability Mel. I have been in this same cycle for about 3 years. Ironically the shame and self criticism has increased use and not decreased it. And, snowballed the shame and self criticism anxiety, and depression and eroded my confidence. These tools are way more supportive of sobriety than shame. ❤😊
I was heavy drinker for 18 years and got sick and tired of it in the last 2, but never got around to quit because it was just a habit of spending time. Until my breast cancer diagnosis last year, which finally made me quit for good. With the medical research and lots of information, I know that my cancer is the result of my drinking. I think what is really missing is complete and visual information of how alcohol works in the body, what systems and organs it influences and how, and short- and long-term consequences. There is no need to learn this on own experience. It'll be exactly 1 year sober next week and I have to say it's the best year of my life though I'm on cancer treatment. I'm in full control of my life and enjoy every day without the stupid haze. In that sense, cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me and made me to finally turn my life around and quit the nasty dangerous habit.
Imagine if it was absolutley normal to have these open conversations with children, and we simply grew up understanding our urges, desires, needs, wants, and how to clearly see and innerstand them correctly. What a gift…
What do I need when I'm about to pour myself a glass of wine? I need to stop caring what other people think of me, because that's all I think about all day, every day. I need to stop giving a shit about all that right now, I deserve a break from that and this drink is going to help me be okay with myself just the way I am. And then I ultimately drink too much and feel like shit in the morning, both physically and emotionally. I haven't had a drink in over a week. This video is very timely. On word and upward! 😊 Go Mel!
Mel… I started watching this video, and then I did my own take on it and took notes, and I came to the same conclusion. You don’t like to be told what to do even by yourself. Also, when you go to do the hard thing, your lower brain is telling you to just take it easy and relax you don’t need to be doing that hard thing. But then your higher brain is telling you that you need to do the hard thing and take action. Then you get mad at your higher brain, because Something with ADHD, or a childhood trauma makes you not want to do what people say. Even if the other person is actually you. But the dopamine that you get from taking the action, will override the little bit of dopamine that you get from the Sunset gin and tonic. The reason you don’t wanna take the action is because you’re afraid you might make mistakes because when you try something new, you make mistakes because it’s requiring practice. But then you’re conflicting because you know you wanna do the hard thing and get through it, but until you actually do the action and take the steps towards, the hard thing, you’re gonna feel terrible every time. I know because that’s how I’ve been feeling conflicted. I quit drinking back in 2017, and that’s been amazing! But it’s still hard for me to take action on what I really want to do. Even though I’m the one setting myself up to do all of these things, I still, when it comes time to take the action, look towards the lower brain thing. Because it is so out of my comfort zone!
Congratulations! I quit 12+ years ago and one thing that helped me was (is) to be curious about my feelings rather than critical. It was particularly helpful if I was around people who were drinking alcohol as those conversations can get a little ridiculous😂 It gave me something to occupy my ever-busy mind (ADHD). It’s a lot easier to be kind and patient with yourself when you are curious🙏🏼
I know I have a bad RELATIONSHIP with alcohol. I kept hidden and started speaking of it to my doctor friend I guess bring to light. I dont like the taste...i love the warm buzz I get. My body is telling to stop. Once i take that first drink my brain says more! It is now affecting my productivity. I started an increase after a cervical injury and I refused pain pills. This is very helpful. Thank You
Moderation is the key....when you did the podcast about HABITS... A lot of things in moderation become habits which then can become bigger and out-of-control very easily...❤❤
No problem with alcohol per se. After seeing this, I realize that this effects every part of my life, and makes me want to give up, instead of learning, as I go. It's about not seeing things as black or white, and then shaming myself for them. This was very helpful.
I have debated...gone to AA but never felt it was an "addiction" either. I now understand!! Thank you lawd!!! I can move on and address the ...urges and roots of them. Haha... 😂 I too was diagnosed with ADHD @ 50 & now have realized much of my extraordinary stress is also related to "mentalpause"!! Pellets are in for that. I'm ready to ease into my new life!!❤❤❤ ty
Ibe been arrested for drunk driving 7 times. I quit drinking very suddenly 4 years ago. There is nothing whatsoever good about alcohol. I don't miss it at all, ever. I'm still living with the negative consequences. Lost time, lost opportunities and relationships that are irreparable. Not to mention the debt. All this still after 4 years sober. Good riddance to alcohol
💯% agree 👍👍👍👍
Congrats on 4 years. Very inspiring 🙌
How true is that. To the point. Wasted time. And more
Well done Chadalpha. Definitely keep up with that! I know it's so hard to do. One thing that helped me was this quote: Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything. Kept me on the straight and narrow. Best wishes from Australia
You can get your relationships back and time is only an illusion. You can live a full life at any age! I applaud your progress and I'm sending you love❤
One thing that helped me was this quote: Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything. Kept me on the straight and narrow. Best wishes from Australia.
@@karenjohnson6137 Some fall somewhere in between…I’ve never given up everything for one thing. It feels more like a constant recovery regardless of the “thing” that catches your attention. Kids, marriage, alcohol, food, diet, exercise…I’ve done it all excessively for a period of time. Balance is key for me!
Unless you are addicted to multiple things like I was. I am not saying hardcore drugs. But nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, and the one that I was unaware of was junk food. I was unaware because it is food so I didn't think it was so bad. I mean, we need food right? 😂 Turns out when I realized I had a problem with that and went on a strict diet it made everything else easier to quit. Excess junk food=depression=substance abuse to try and deal with the depression. That is simplified of course I had to deal with a lot of suppressed negative emotions but I was able too when I stopped suppressing them with that sh**. I am happier, free'er, lighter and healthier than I have been since who knows when.
Good one !
@jackroberts416 Exactly! I know what you’re talking about.
I’ve always loved this one!
Alcohol is like a narcissist. No contact is the only option.
I listen this podcast because I need a solution for my drinking it’s damaging my life and gives me anxiety that I came to conclusions that anxiety itself can kill you in hangover state. Please pray for me to.🩸
#1. A person that doesn't have a problem with alcohol doesn't worry if they do.
#2. I never got into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble, I'd been drinking!!!
With the grace of God and a lot of AA people, on July 1st 2023 I've been sober 32 years.
This was good. Especially #2. Thanks for sharing!!
WOW! CONGRATULATIONS!!
Excellent. If you don't have peace, don't do it. We all know it's deadly.
Tradition Eleven talks about the importance of anonymity, stating "Here was something rare in the world". Truer words have never been spoken.
We are so blessed to be a part of that "rare thing", that not only saved our lives, but gave us a "design for living", by which we live in abundance! Your 32 years is evidence that long term sobriety is not only possible, but probable "IF" we are WILLING! 🐪✌All the best to you...Mark
❤❤❤
Ten days sober after 40 + years drinking. I like the great sleep, the feeling of freedom and I feel a lightness. I hope I don’t lapse but am confident that I feel better without than with alcohol 🙏
10 days is a great start. Think of how much you’re saving 💰 and your health will just keep improving. ♥️
Well done! Keep going, it will only get better and easier.
Keep going, I hope you managed to hold on since your post
That two week mark is a really hard bump to get over - I hope you busted through it!
How are you going?
I just had my 9 year anniversary of zero alcohol.
I was a daily drinker for 30 years. Wine or beer.
People around me drank the same, so it never felt like a problem. It was fun and celebrating and connecting.
Then in the 2008 financial meltdown, my life crashed financially. Honestly lost everything.
The 10 or so years that I was trying to claw my way back was horrible, demeaning and I honestly lost relationships because I saw who turned their back on me.
Drinking was no longer a celebration. It was a coping mechanism. I would polish off a bottle of wine a day.
When I finally saw my life improving financially, I was at a doctors appointment because I had tingling in my feet. He named the possible causes, and I said bingo. It’s the drinking.
I decided to not drink for a full month.
9 years later I haven’t had a drink.
I still don’t tell myself I’ll never drink again, because my rebellious side will sabotage me.
But, one day or situation at a time I just haven’t went back even though I felt anxiety when I sat at a restaurant table with people all drinking cocktails at times.
And zero alcohol beer is my friend. They are served in most restaurants and bars, and they taste amazing. Not like they did 20 years ago.
Super chilled mug, and I feel that same celebration and festive and belonging.
With zero alcohol.
It does taste good, but it contains .03% alcohol.
Shouldn't worry because a lot of foods have a little bit in them. Up to .05% ABV.
Once I drove to a concert with a 6 pack of Coors Cutter in the passenger seat.
I didn't know about that
@@Mrs.S-UKYes, I have this same question.
Congrats on the 9 years. I am 61 years old and been a HEAVY drinker and drug user since I was 14 years old. Today is day 41 sober which is a major accomplishment for me. And you are so right. The few times I go out and have a zero alcohol beer it's almost a mental thing but I feel buzzed from the feeling of cold bottle, taste of beer, hanging with friends and that festive etc that I forget it's non-alcohol. The only downsize it messes with the stats on my sober app because it shows I have saved $1025 so far from quitting drinking ($25 a day) and those non alcoholic beers ironically cost a dollar more than the local home beer. Just joking of course but going to just stick to club soda. I like the weight loss that comes from quitting drinking because you pay attention to what you eat everyday. So it's crazy now that I am sober I care about empty calories when I used to eat at a 7-11 store for dinner.
"I still don’t tell myself I’ll never drink again, because my rebellious side will sabotage me." Thank you for this!! I am the same way.
Did your tingling in your feet 🦶 go away?
I was actually addicted to alcohol since my teenage. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey! Yes Dr.benfungi
Yes he's Dr.benfungi. Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I was horrifically depressed since childhood. It was relentless. I assumed it would ultimately end me somehow. About twelve years ago I randomly accepted the offer from a friend of a few doses of mushrooms. I did them two consecutive nights alone. First night was pretty mild. The second night? Wow. I saw my depression from every angle, realized much. Next day: depression totally gone. Never came back, never coming back. It's like it's a forest far away I can remember, and could probably find again with enough effort, but it has zero impact on anything in my life or mind. They honestly saved my life and improved it immensely. I never did them again, either. I wish there was a good, organized way to administer them to people who would benefit from them.
He ships discreetly to your location. If you're worried about that. He has been my supplier for over a year now. No problems
Mel. You never duck and dive. You never hide. You never manipulate. You fess up. Your courage, honesty and integrity is truly inspiring. You more than belong. You are a centre. 🥰
I love Mel. She is always real! I appreciate her
OMG!!! You used the words I’ve had in my head
The honesty and a genuine wake up call!!!
Agreed. Thank you so much for being real and allowing us to follow. ❤
Wow! This takes away the constant guilt of fighting with myself! I realize I need to treat not only others with kindness but myself as well.
BTW, Rachel did not answer your question of whether or not she herself still drinks...
Not that it really matters I suppose.
Well said 🫶
You don’t have to be an alcoholic or have a problem with alcohol to quit drinking. You can just come on over to the alcohol free healthy life style to feel wonderfully young again. As in feel like you are 12. Wake up feeling great. Watch the weight fall off. Feel healthy and confident. Come join the youthful again, Mel !!! Sleep better. Be a good role model to your kids. Wake up and feel like working out. Enjoy donating the money you no longer spend to your favorite charity. Lower your risk of breast cancer and colon cancer. Join the fun healthy club and come on over to the sober side !
No better way to live!💖
Yes!
When I was wondering if I was an alcoholic and should stop drinking, going back and forth, my counselor said the one thing that helped me make my decision; “people that are not alcoholics don’t ever think about quitting because they are not obsessing about it.” I have been sober ever since. 38 years.
Well said
Yes but when I was an active alcoholic I didn't think I had a problem either lol
Sober over 5 months now, best decision of my life. So much abundance has come to me since I quit. Alcohol keeps our vibrational frequency low, thats the whole point of it being legal still, keeps us down.
Also, a low frequency is an invitation for disease.. and the government keeping us sick… the profit off of keeping us down..
You are soooo right. I am trying to quit right now and I am looking at it as an experiment to see the amazing energetic changes that happen.
@@JasmineJohnsonPsychicMedium I went to AA. Sober 16 months! Best decision I ever made.
down and dumber to the people like sheeps to the slaughter. Just how the government wants the people to be.
I quit 6 years ago....WILL NEVER GO BACK...my life is getting better and better...and I'm reaching my goals finally..
Thanks for talk😊
Congratulations! You’ve given yourself a true gift.
I quit 7 years ago,, best decision ever 👍
Your Y's are perfect
I appreciate Mel's honesty and feeling of "I deserve this because I work so hard " etc. The thing that I came to realize is that alcohol is not a gift to my health (in fact, it's the opposite) so it's impossible to view it as a 'treat' after a long day knowing how it will make me feel tomorrow, the health problems it will exacerbate. Sobriety is the gift to myself and my body thanks me for it! Cheers to that
I was sober for 8 years and for the past 5 have been drinking again, mostly wine. Now I'm 3 days sober and I'm excited to be back on the path of feeling clear-headed and amazing. Thanks Mel!
I can relate so hardcore to this Mel. Here’s what I’ve discovered recently.. I would never spend this much time debating ANY other relationship in my life as I have the relationship with alcohol. Anything or anyone who causes that much mental and emotional gymnastics in my life generally gets kicked to the curb. So that’s what i finally decided to do with that relationship. Undecided if we’ll ever speak again but for now and possibly long term, that trash is staying at the curb where I kicked it! 😀🙌🏻
Great point!! Thank you!😊
THANK YOU! YES! Totally true of me too. Why do we do it!?
Just to update…it’s now been 6 months no alcohol for me and I’ve never felt better. Zero desire for it. Zero days of debate or regret. 100000% increase in confidence. Improved skin, improved sleep, the list goes on and on. Productive weekends, more authenticity in relationships with everyone else and more importantly a more authentic relationship with myself. No more battles in my head. Zero hangovers, making better nutritional decisions and work performance 10000 times improved. I have zero negative effects to report. Not boring. Not difficult actually at all. I was not in a level of hardcore addiction though so I do not want to minimize anyone else’s struggles. I’m just speaking from my personal experience as a person who had the mental fatigue of wanting to cut back or quit but kept on that crazy path of cognitive dissonance surrounding alcohol. In my opinion, if you are constantly questioning it, that’s just too much precious energy wasted. There’s a whole life of peace for you on the other side of it.❤😊
So true...great way to put it...
I spent time in France and they really have it figured out. They allow themselves the pleasures of food and drink. They eat croissants, cheese, Baggett, and drink wine because of the pleasure of it, and savor it. They take 2 hour lunches and walk and bike alot for transportation. They don't overindulge because they don't feel guilty about pleasure. We have alot to learn.
I feel the same regarding the Spaniards
Politely disagree. I am so glad that I do not drink. I have lived in Europe and seen too many people drink there, too. Alcohol really is a control thing.
Not my experience in rural France. Wine is super cheap and it's too easy to drink. For the locals who don't have anything else in their lives they start with a petit rosé at 7am..... And this continues throughout the day. I'm not saying this is everyone. In any event I got into the habit although not in the day and fortunately stopped drinking 11 months ago.
You need to talk with Annie Grace. I followed her alcohol experiment 30 days. She doesn’t ask you to quit drinking. She helps you retrain your brain. I quit drinking most a year ago and have no urges what so ever. Don’t miss it. No more cognitive dissidents
Just over 26 months alcohol-free over here. For me, it was more of a very lazy habit than a raging addiction. The past 5 years of my life became what I refer to as '3 Deaths and a Pandemic'. I let it get me down, and began to inhale a very tall nightly rum & coke. Make a significant investment in myself, to put my biz (and life, really) back together in early May 2021. Looked at the rum bottle that night and said: "Not today!" Have made that same decision every day since. Not always easy. There have been many times I've thought: "One of those would taste really good right now!" But, I'm much more dedicated to building the best version of myself (all all the exercise and positive thinking/actions) since making my decision. Am 20+ pounds down, and feeling great. Happier. Healthier. More clear-headed. It was the right decision!
Been on the same boat as you congratulations on your efforts. I have just recently feel off the track but will use your post to put me back on track. ❤
You can’t be perfect coming out of the gate first time 😊
I was also into Rum and Coke and now have a Roy Rogers instead. Coke, grenadine, ice and a cherry and find it just as nice.
I have been considering quitting drinking. I have been watching you tube videos on the affects of alcohol on anxiety. Over the last two weeks of not drinking, I have noticed that my anxiety is at a way lower level. There’s absolutely no benefit of alcohol for me. Thank you for this episode, perfect timing for me.
It’s been 6 weeks for me this time and haven’t missed it at all. Saves so much money and feel so much better. I support you to keep up with this endeavor. 👏
Anxiety... Fear that I won't get what I think I deserve in the future.
Depression... Fear that I didn't get what I thought I deserved in the past.
Anger... I'm not getting what I think I deserve right now!
The principles behind the 12 Steps help us deal with all of this!
I hope you give 12 Step Recovery a chance.
I got more from them, than any shrink!
@@barbararichnow7780 I went 67 days no alcohol, which was easy, but one occasion that I gave in, and it was all over.
Attend AA to deal with the feelings. You are not alone.
Sober six months and I love it! I’m learning to do my life WITHOUT the alcohol “crutch”! Doing parties sober and surrounded by drinkers has been the biggest shocker. People that drink are VERY uncomfortable with non-drinkers….they just don’t understand. Hmmmm, maybe THEY need to look at their relationship with alcohol.
If alcohol was a problem for you, then being surrounded by drinkers is like playing Russian Roulette. I sincerely hope that you don't have to find out the hard way.
Oh I ALWAYS have an exit strategy LOL
When the music stops I go HOME😎
so true , drinkers do not like nondrinkers ; it's weird but they feel threatened in some way ; most drinkers overdrink ; social drinker is bs
Yes! Since getting sober in recovery, I have noticed that! I don’t need alcohol or drugs to have a good time!
So true! I am an occasional drinker, sober curious I will say. I am often times around drinkers, sober and it’s kills me. It’s like I have a plague. So now I make it a game 😉
One friend always asks if I’m drinking. When I say no, she will say “oh saving up for tomorrow?” I say nope not drinking then either. She just sits there quiet! I love it. I feel great, I sleep great. My skin has never looked better. No joint pain, no ailments that’s I was noticing before. It’s amazing. Next step 100% sober.
I have stopped on and off at various times in my life. First drink was at 11 and I am now 63. The longer you are away from it the more it will smell like pure gasoline. It took me longer than 3 months to experience this; more like 9 months. The first year was interesting - the holidays were still stressful, but not nearly as bad. 😅 I picked it up again several times and each time is was harder to put it back down. I never got into trouble and no one would have said “oh she’s got a problem” - but I did. I am so happy that science is showing us just how bad it is once it enters the body and breaks down into a lethal substance - something that you would never ingest. Its why you pee so much- the body is trying to get rid of it by turning off a hormone that balances hydration. I pray that I have finally kicked it for good. ❤
Been off alcohol this time for 6 weeks and counting. Let’s urge each other to continue. Save money, feel so much better every day. Putting poison and sugar in our bodies. Let’s keep going.
I’ve been a pretty much a daily drinker all my life. Loved this podcast and Rachel’s work, especially figuring out what my urge was to drink. Then also thru Mel, I found the work of Dr Mindy Pelz. I’ve been able to combine a fasting life style with replacing alcohol with herbal tea, working out, walks, reading. It’s been 20 days and I’ve never felt sharper, stronger and happier! Going on 82 yrs old!! Thank you Mel, Mindy and Rachel!
"I can pour myself a drink....that's a whole lot easier than asking someone for what I need......holy shit!! That's the whole thing right there!!!! This was an absolute ah-ha moment truth bomb for me. I've just been trying to give myself a hug in the only way I know how 🍷.....for decades
I hug you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
🤗🤗🤗
Wow. Yes
I honestly got it when it was said that drinking was a replacement for an unmet emotional need. Holy cow, that really was my answer.
@MsYingyang2 how old are yoy? Just curious
I have reframed the way I feel sober from deprivation and self-pity to knowing that I am living smarter, wiser, healthier and superior even in that I have grown and matured not to mention have more money and peace of mind and real joy and fulfillment in ways I never thought possible. I am 55 and so grateful and proud to be sober without struggle.
52 and can't see myself getting out of this without feeling pitying the few years I have ahead
Thank you for this. So much. Thankyou for everything you share actually but this is timely for me. 😏 at some point I’d like to share with you what’s happening in my life. Not because it’s interesting for either of us but because I think it’ll help me and others to share our stories. Every time someone has the courage to share vulnerably we help others do the same. And when we are vulnerable, we stop a lot of the fear we hold in ourselves and are often not even aware of it.
I started drinking water from a chilled glass at the pool hall. It wasn’t long before almost the whole pool team was drinking water. I am so glad that pool nights now are times I don’t have to question whether I am going to drink. What a relief. The bar maid even started fixing us pitcher of water and glasses ready to go
I had my last drink 41 years ago and this decision has made my life so much better.
For me, the constant thinking about shall I drink? How much? Did anyone notice how much or how often I drank. It just wasn't worth the angst.
I haven't had a drink since and haven't missed it one little bit.
Honest!
I was exhausted negotiating with myself every day about drinking. I stopped drinking alcohol on 12/17/23. So far I’m at peace emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
When you start to question your relationship with alcohol, it means it’s time to change it or leave it altogether. It’s like when you have a toxic relationship with someone for a long time but then you start noticing things that didn’t bother you before but now you’re a bit older and wiser and your mind, body and spirit are telling you that it’s time to move on. Sometimes it’s a lot clearer for some of us because after we drink we wake up in the middle of the night with high heart palpitations and in a panic -this happened to me for 2-3 years before I decided to end my relationship with alcohol. If you liked the taste and created associations between it and fun, friends, etc. it’ll take a while to create new associations. I went through a mourning period and you may lose friends but I feel much better and I approve of this new version of myself. I no longer feel conflicted. On the contrary, I feel at peace about it.
Very well said. 👍👍
Thank you for saying what you said it’s helped me because I feel like I’ve lost all my friends too😞🤨 hopefully I can make new better friends and a new life without alcohol
@@MrJacobss I’m happy to help! The most important thing is to become friends with yourself. Take your time to heal and then you’ll figure out who or what belongs in your life. Good luck!
Great way to put it!
Yes! I now remember long ago being underage and drinking alcohol and the good feelings getting away from my feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger… I actually had a thought (BIG FAT LIE) that once I’m of age, I can “get this whenever I want and I will never have to worry about ANYTHING again,” ohhh, how very wrong I was! I didn’t know it until 30 years later that it is quite the opposite. I ended up with more anxiety daily, eventually the sick feelings in the mornings with extreme anxiety and from there, needing a drink before getting out of bed to stop those physical and mental feelings. I wish I would’ve found this video earlier but I still found out some much needed info on how this happens to pretty much anyone who drinks alcohol for whatever you think reasons. It’s very important to know what most go through at just the thoughts of, “what will my life even be like without it? How will I ever have fun etc…” I also felt so guilty that I was doing wrong in Gods eyes. I am so happy to be free! I pray anyone else that is struggling to be set free, in Jesus’ name, amen ❤
What I appreciated most about the podcast was the absence of judgment or shame. You created a safe space for listeners to explore their feelings and experiences with alcohol without feeling condemned. That is incredibly empowering. I've learned so much from this episode, and it's inspired me to take a more intentional and mindful approach to my relationship with alcohol. Your podcast truly has a positive impact on people's lives, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to listen and learn from your wisdom.
Hope you end up in a better place. Gave it up 23 years ago and so glad I did.
I gave up alcohol more than 34 years ago and have been so happy since then. Once I put the plug in the jug, I have been able to face life ( all of its ups and downs) without the crutch of alcohol. I can celebrate very well without alcohol. Elizabeth Goodrich, Texas
I've been on a sobriety journey for the past 4 months and, out of all the literature I've read, all the videos I've watched, all the advice from others I've taken in, all the AA stuff, THIS VIDEO has had the most amount of useful perspective and vocabulary for me personally by far. I'm now an instant fan of Rachel Hart and look forward to absorbing more of her content.
You should read Annie Grace This Naked Mind. Really helped me get sober. She also has you tube videos.
This episode is GOLD! Thank you so much! I’ve been sober for 4 months and is one of the best decisions I’ve made. ❤
Same here.
Well done! Please never change your mind. I’ve given up heaps of times for months and months, especially during pregnancy, and always went back. This time I’m determined.
Congratulations!!
I was sober for a year and it was amazing. It's been 5 months that I started drinking again. I'm falling back to old habits. I do not like it or how it makes me feel. So I'm 4 days sober today again.. starting over!
Been sober since 12/07/18 and my life has improved tenfold! I’m saving so much money too!!! Also, hangovers suck!
Amen girl! So happy for you!
I quit 3 years ago this October. I had been trying for few years to eat and fitness healthy. I starting having issues with my pancreas which was aggravated by sugars and included alcohol. It took me 1 month to decide to quit cold turkey and never regretted it. I have a all in, or all out personality and cutting back was not a option. Since then my health is better, more morning energy. You do start to see though how alcohol plays a part in may social situations. I now say with no hesitation I am alcohol free.
Mel is me… except I was wine. Oh my gosh the way Rachel is approaching this topic is mind blowing. My eyes have been opened. Feeling all the feels and diving into why you want to drink. I love this…. I have listened to hours of podcasts on this subject, this one is HANDS down the best so far and is literally changing my life. Thank you ❤
Mel, this is 💯 % exactly what’s going on with me too! Exactly; I also started drinking at 14🤦🏻♀️I have this nudge to explore this-and I’m going down the “sober curious” rabbit hole, but then I feel like I don’t want to quit, but then I totally want to quit and then I know it’s literally poison but then I want the wine. I am so excited to see this episode and cannot wait to watch the whole conversation 🙏🏻
I started way too early too. it was a coping thing and a cry for help, but nobody was listening. so glad we survived to now and we have these tools!!
Same. Gemini here arguing for both sides as well Mel. Can't wait to listen
Hey! I think I wrote this 😂😂 same exact scenario here. It is great knowing it’s a real thing. The struggle is def real. Ugh. Marketing rules us on so many levels 😮
Omg. 1 million percent agree with Mel. She spoke exactly my thoughts
Watching Young & the Restless was a starting point for a glass of wine in the afternoon back 30 years ago. After all, they’re all drinking. So glamorous! Been sober for 11 1/2 years. Grateful for every day!
Mel, I can't tell you how much we all needed this conversation.
22 Months Sober here! ❤ Best decision I’ve ever made was saying goodbye to alcohol. Every aspect of my life has improved since cutting it out. 💥🚫🍺🍷
Congratulations that’s amazing I’m on day 7 I want to be at 22 months too I bet your hole life has turned around for the better❤️🙌🙂X
@@MrJacobss Thank you! Yes my life is so much better now! ❤️🩹 Way to go on 7 days!!! Keep it going!!🙌🙌💕💕
Congratulations on 2 years!!!
@@sir4word Thank you!!🩷🩷
Congratulations! Keep up the great work!
Hi Mel, I was the same in total conflict when I drank, my thoughts were totally preoccupied with 'to drink or not to drink' and then when I caved and drank I was consumed with guilt and I felt weak. Then I read Allan Carr's book 'Easy way to control alcohol' and it changed my life. I stopped drinking initially for 9 months but then I started again. What the book did for me was change the control alcohol had over me. I no longer crave alcohol or need it to relax and unwind at the end of day and i no longer constantly think about it. I am currently sober again but have told myself that If I'm out and have a wine it's ok, which i haven't done as yet. Not making it forbidden takes away its power. I no longer constantly think about alcohol, Allan's book set me free, set my mind free and I am so much happier now. Good luck on your journey 😊❤
Yesterday I was talking about how I want to quit drinking and now this appears!! Amazing
that's a sign
@@anastasiagerasimova2260 I know 😭
her podcasts are like that in my life all the time; it's freaking uncanny!!!
@@xannaz9226 it has happened to me before with her shorts, it was scary at first like girl, stop leaving me in the street with your truth, but also it has saved me a lot of work! The "let them be theory" is so freaking awesome
The same is true for me…I notice so many synchronicities lately.
I was sober 9.5 years and went back out after 2020. Too many pour me’s that year. I regret it, it’s not worth it. If you’re sober stay sober and if you want to get sober, do it. You won’t regret it ❤
I've just entered 2024 soba, this is the start I needed. No looking back, only forward. I've had a problem with the drug for many years, alcohol had a hold on me. Not now, ive let go now and I'm done,,,,,,,🎉❤
I’m sober for almost 18 mo. My life instantly improved and I have been able to slowly let go of the guilt and shame I have carried. Life is such a glorious gift and I don’t ever want to waste another moment drinking.
I’ve been sober for 2 yrs 2 days. I cannot moderate. I cannot stop, when I start. I’m 50 and my body wasn’t metabolizing the alcohol like it did in my 20s. Now, I need to kick my sugar and spending addiction. I’ve transferred one addiction to another.
@sheilaryanamith this is so interesting and wise of you to notice... Alcohol will have been your ally to "silence" whatever need is being looked after by taking it. When the alcohol goes, your brain can of course replace it with sugar... then spending... and so many other things... I totally agree with you. So the question around noticing what's the need behind the urge... that's the interesting space for exploration... What's the need and what do I need to let go of, in order to be the "captain of my soul"... What's the real conflict or issue fueling the tendency for addiction? That's the interesting space...
@@orlahasson2184 thank you so much! I really appreciate your words.
Yes take up a hobby
Congrats, you're still obsessing over alcohol if you're counting days 👌
I’m a total non drinker and this podcast has given me insights and a completely different non-judgemental understanding about alcohol and addictions in general. I wish I’d had this knowledge in my teens and not had to wait until my late sixties! However, better late than never and even now I feel so lucky to have heard this podcast. I feel set free.
It’s never late. This is ideal timing.
You and me both!!!🙏🥳👑
I stopped consuming alcohol back in 2016.. I learned it slows me down physically. I don't need it period!
Been sober for 19 years--best, the BEST decision I have ever made
This is great! 5 months sober & absolutely grateful! Feeling my emotions is a gift. I have learned so much about myself in the last 5 months. Having lists of writing the benefits of not drinking versus drinking, those lists will open your eyes to what’s possible. Then write a list of your why you don’t want to drink. Then read it that every few months! You’ll be amazed at how much you have accomplished.
My Friend Mel- You are so hard on yourself!!! Ease up on the self criticism and just allow yourself to ENJOy a cocktail!!! Your internal conflict is working overtime!! Love you!!! ❤
This reminds me of someone saying to me one time that “ people are always trying to find a way to “get high” or get that Dopamine rush to your brain. It’s like spinning around until you were dizzy when you were a kid. “ so this is a great conversation to learn more about yourself. Learn why you do things. But that brain and the dopamine…. Almost everything gives the brain that rush. Sugar alcohol, eating, weed, even exercise. So it is a constant battle ..and we all go through it. It’s very hard.
This is exactly where I’m at with alcohol. My body doesn’t seem to process it the same since menopause in the last 2 years and I am coming to grips with the fact that a couple on a Saturday night just isn’t worth it.
Andrew Huberman's 2-hr podcast about the effects of alcohol on your brain and everything else convinced me that this dithering confusion is ridiculous. I'm now sober 25 days, expect to continue and find other ways to stimulate "fun".
This is an eye opener for me. I am a foodaholuc, and spendaholic. I've had a gastric bypass and have lost over 100 lbs. I still have to be ever vigilant about what I eat or what I'm buying.(I'm close to being a hoarder) Now I can see they are connected.
Thank you for giving me a different way to look at it!
This episode can definitely be used with food also!!
I love this, because I think everyday at the end of a stressful day, I say to myself I'm not stopping to pick up beer and I find myself stopping and picking up beer, because this is my stress relief.
Annie Grace explains this feeling. 'Cognitive dissonance.'
We all wrestle with this feeling eventually. Then hopefully wake up.
Coming up to 5 years sober, best decision ever. was a drinker for over forty years.
Annie Grace (This Naked Mind) helped me, too!
I applaud you for your openness and for having this frank dialogue with Rachel. I thought I was taking a break a year ago and felt so good- became alcohol free for good.
I don't know where you are spiritually, but I believe that the conflict is God's conviction. I too struggle. God is convicting me but I still go back to drinking because it is a habit when I do things like watching the sunset. Then I feel the guilt the next morning. Thank you for this talk! I am going to do the 30 days! Today is day 3! Love and prayers to you both and all those struggling with this 'habit'!
Amen, Kathy! I agree with you. How are you doing a whole month later?
Day 57! I am very proud of myself! I went to a concert where I've never gone without drinking but had a fancy coffee instead ($2 vs $14 beer!)....just having the cup in my hand helped me. I realize I was no more, or had anymore, fun than when drinking alcohol and clear head the next morning without feeling guilty! Thank you so much for asking!!
@@LivinthedreamkindaOh that is awesome!! Keep it up 🥰🙏🏼
Omg! I couldn't agree more with you here. The conflict for me started sometime last year. I would say toward the end of summer. I just had this thought come to me that I should consider quitting. I could not understand why I was having this thought. I am a responsible drinker. I'm 39, and so yes, I believe I can say I am definitely better with my alcohol. I don't drink to get drunk. Well, anyway.. I argued with the thought. And I told myself I would quit, but only after I finished up all the wine I still had left in my home. Didn't happen. I continued. Then, once again, the thought came back to me toward the end of the year. To QUIT! I was conflicted yet again. So here's what I did... I spoke to God. I asked him if this particular thought was one of spirit. Meaning.. God wants me to quit. OR is this my own personal thought suggesting I quit for whatever reason.. I petition to God, to please send me a message at church. To let me hear something that could validate it was from God. I went to church that following Sunday, and my pastor spoke on alcohol and shared this scripture..
Ephesians 5:18
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
I was blown away! 😳 I felt the spirit testify to me that God does indeed hear our thoughts and prayers. I am 9 days sober.. and hope to continue on this new sober path. 🙏 😊
@@esiree9991 Oh amen, praise Jesus!! I am in love with
Your testimony and I am so happy to hear this! VERY inspiring! 🫶🏻🙏🏼✨ I just knew as well and I couldn’t quit and just felt guiltier and guiltier. NO MORE! Praise our Holy Spirit!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I have been struggling to stop drinking and this podcast helped me realize that I have used alcohol as a numbing tool for all the sadness and depression I felt as a kid. As well as having undiagnosed adhd that has kept me from understanding what truly makes me happy. I’m grateful I came across this as it gives me the push to do the internal work.
I stopped drinking a few months ago. Stopped smoking just over a month ago. Ironic part….I work within the alcohol industry. Trying to get out of it. So far I’m running into roadblocks finding another job…..but I know it’s beyond time to move on. I can’t sell alcohol when I choose to not drink it due to my own reasons.
It never gets old how relatable Mel is.
Touché
One reason I decided to quit drinking was that constant debate/guilt/shaming in my mind. I don’t think that’s unhealthy - I think it’s the intelligent brain fighting the very physical addiction. It took me two years to quit for good, because of the 20 year physical addiction - not because my will wasn’t strong enough. One of the reasons I love being sober is that I don’t have to keep having that stupid, nagging debate. It was very annoying. Nice lady, go ahead and quit, and you’ll become obsessed with how amazing you can feel. You’ll love the clarity. Quitting has changed my life in so many gorgeous ways, and I’ll never go back. FUCK ALCOHOL and the drinking culture. I was keeping up with the boys for a long time… now I’m beating them.
Watch Huberman Lab’s talk on alcohol if you haven’t!
I quit drinking 5 years ago and realized pretty quickly that I didn't have much in common with my friends anymore. I decided to quit when I looked back on the money and time I spent on alcohol. It was a habit when I had a good day or a bad day so I was always running to the liquor store. Not to mention the health issues especially with the brain. I want to be healthy in my older age and now I feel liberated that I do not need to put poison in my body to have a good time. Think brain health the next time you want a drink.
So awesome. You are very very very wise
I can’t even tell you how much I relate to this. I don’t drink much but every time I do I go through the same mind games that you do. I always regret it and always ask myself why I did it cuz I don’t enjoy it.
Mel, if alcohol is causing problems, then it’s a problem! Pure and simple. No bullshitting around
It’s NOT the taste - that’s bullshit. It’s the way it makes you feel that most people like. If it’s the taste, have an ice cream!!!
I quit the multiple drinks a day on 7/5/23 after years of drinking to get my health back up to optimum wellness. Just as an experiment yesterday 7/16/23...I had one drink. That was it and it was no big fun for me. No multiples. Not easy but I "want" to stay on my path of health and wellness at 65. I've cut out sugar and only eating Carnivore which is helping my arthritic pain go away. Love and best wishes to those who choose to quit or cut back. ❤🙏
@POLLACKSHARMANGMAIL No worries and thank you so much for your kind words but I am married. Best Wishes.
@POLLACKSHARMANGMAIL Thanks again...I am happy. 😊
🤦♀️ Drinking & low carb diets do NOT mix. Dumbest thing you could do is drink and mess the diet up...
I am so grateful that this podcast was a “God-incidence” for me today😢😮💨🤗. I’ve drinking daily starting when I wake up…I have Barrett’s Esophagus & I know alcohol & cigarettes are contributing factors. I do both. Had to have an endoscopy month ago & was told it’s now turned into precancerous cells (w/ablation). Last week had another endoscopy & the doc went in & burned the cells which is very uncomfortable now. I haven’t stopped drinking or smoking & tell me self “ I CANT STOP, I’m a self serving fucking idiot & I guess I’ll let it kill me because I CANNOT STOP” the madness of my lower brain😫😭!
Since watching this I pray I will do the 30 day challenge & “work the tools” to the best of my ability. I need to notice how I feel before I drink knowing it’s fear motivated. Fear won’t kill me if I notice it & make note…my condition will be exacerbated &WILL KILL ME if I choose not to try.
Grateful to have listened today💕
I love this conversation. I believe our soul nudges us when it is time to reflect around our substance use. Sometimes taking a 30 day break can help guide us forward and give us the clarity we need IMHO. ❤
YOU hit the nail on the head, Mel, when you realized the final choice to drink wins, just because you are sick of the "I shouldn't have a drink/I really want a drink" ping pong conversation happening at the moment. And the toddler analogy works perfectly here. Reasoning with your lower brain that you won't drink doesn't work, just like a toddler, you have to replace the "No" with a distraction. I can't get behind quitting. But I'm going to see, tonight, what happens when I delay for 30 minutes, and don't get the beer until 5:30. I'm really going to note what happens in the two brains. I'll probably clean out a drawer for half an hour or something.
I can attest to the delay analogy - heard something similar on a different podcast about how if we delay indulging in our craving, eventually the craving will stop and keeping yourself distracted or busy is definitively key. It worked for me, you got this too!!!!
Wow! This hits home. I do the same back and forth talk , feel like when am I going to grow up talk. I drink to turn my brain off, hangover turns my brain off further and I get a break. It’s unhealthy and yes socializing, dopamine plays a big part.
Hello, sober for 3 years 2mouths . After 2 years things get better. Be radical, resist the first sip. My life is so much better now
Hi Mel, I drank for 40 years. At least 2 to 3 beers a day (more on the weekends). Always at the end of the day...as my reward for dealing with stress. 5 years ago, I stumbled upon the Wim Hof breathing technique. Changed my life. I did try to quit drinking, I just quit enjoying it. Nothing felt better than the vitality the breath work brought me. You may find it useful.
Thank you for relentless courage and generosity, Mel. Sending you energy.
Thank you both so very much for this! I have been sober for 4years. Last fall I suddenly couldn’t make myself call myself an alcoholic ever again. And now I am happily bumping and bumbling from insight to insight. This podcast is adding so much to this journey.
Life coaching at its best to all of us. As the saying goes, when the student is ready the teacher appears. Thanks, this comes at a moment when I am deeply conflicted
I have stopped for a year and introduced it back in my life only to control my drinking!! I had my son who was an alcoholic and stopped drinking and goes to AA meetings and has not stopped!! Because I know he is sneaking it around!! ❤
You have to WANT to NOT drink… To be that person that just doesn’t. I stopped drinking a few months ago and my god…it’s been tough. My story is similar to these ladies, drank quite a bit in my teens (party gal), 20s and early 30s… it’s only when I started hitting the gym 2 years ago that I found it counterintuitive to be drinking regularly while I was eating healthy, changing my diet and habits, trying to be healthy and getting in shape (I also stopped smoking at this time and came off all my meds gradually). It’s been the toughest road EVER and it’s still not easy but I’m committed and want to be a NON- drinker.. I’m trying to find and discover that FUN, CAREFREE, CONFIDENT me WITHOUT the alcohol. And I also accept and know deep down that alcohol isn’t the best for my body or brain. I, too, enjoyed the taste of, and loved my wine and cocktails and all my friends and family still drink regularly to this day in their lives and around me…it’s really hard not to want to revert back, but I remind myself every time about all the hard work I’ve put into the gym and into changing my habits, for the good - I look at what I’ve accomplished and achieved and see that hard work pays off (stopped smoking and lost 15 kgs in the gym, maintained, gained muscle, feel strong, confidence in the gym etc) I HAVE to remind myself of these things constantly to KNOW I CAN do whatever I set my mind to. I’m gaining ‘just one more’ alcohol free day, EVERYDAY ❤ and it’s been about six months now… the ‘urges’ are passing, and I’m not making excuses for myself and working through my emotions myself. Definitely not easy!! I was the first to pick up some wine when I was feeling anxious or any uncomfortable feeling..or wanting to celebrate, relax, etc, but now I just will not. I’m very strict with myself. Because I do believe you can create a life long habit and stick to it and it becomes easier the longer you practice it. I believe it will become second nature to me to just NOT think about alcohol at all - I’m really almost there.
Mel actually gets it. She gets the struggle with cognitive dissonance and how we may be on this journey to be sober but often have a back n forth on what is wrong with just having a couple. I appreciate Rachel’s input and appreciate even more Mel’s rebuttals, not just agreeing for agreement sake.
Mel this is for me...I deal with all the same. I'm on day 19 and so thankful for the new tools. I will keep you posted and will listen to this another 10 times. Thank you Mel I love you ❤
Encouragement! 💯🙏👑
What an incredible conversation. I had a thought to share. . . When we tell ourselves and draw the line that I can’t do something, we often slip into a child/parent relationship based around rules and ‘have to’s’ that most of us want to rebel against. It unleashes that rebel inside us that says ‘you are not going to tell me what to do.’ Instead of giving ourselves the freedom to choose to do this thing because of a greater purpose for us. When we can utilize the higher brain that is the ‘captain of our own soul’ brain, and choose to do and be who we really want to be, it allows us to cling to that higher commitment to ourselves. If we end up choosing against what we really want for ourselves, we simply learn from ourselves and move forward with who we really want to be. If we don’t know what we really want for ourselves, we will tend to fall for the ‘path of least resistance’ which is how our brains are designed to function. Thank you so much for this. So so good.
I relate to this so much. Every time I drink (even just a drink or two) I think ‘it’s just not worth it’ after.
For me it's food (sometimes spending, collecting) - and the "I deserve" message has been there since childhood (I'm 70). But what I *deserve* is to love myself and not make food fill the gap of others' conditional love and criticism (ironically, often about my weight - vicious cycle).
You nailed it kiddo! ADHD …loved that podcast because it cemented what I thought about myself for a long time. I actually discovered that alcohol was a tool as a coping mechanism for me. Yes I loved the taste….but i could no longer deny that what I really liked was the feeling that you get when drinking that alcohol. So 10 years ago..I challenged myself to set down the alcohol and learn to cope on my own…new ways….that didnt numb or soften my brain…but to awaken it to new possibilities of management. ADHD and Alcohol…for me…not good.
PS….I always need a hug..because they are so welcoming, healing,accepting,loving. Sending you a hug Mel!
Quit six months ago… nothing drastic, just felt finished. I feel so much more myself and happy and healthy. ❤
Same here!! Everyday I feel more and more like myself again!💖 God bless you!
Mel! When you said "I need a hug".. . Yes! It triggered me. Because like you I can pour my own drink.....😢 it's hard after divorce, and now my youngest off to University....I don't drink every day, but it is Friday night tequila night. 1 Tequila and a club soda to unwind from my week. Or going out on weekend with a friend and having a glass of wine. It is the need to have some sort of pleasure. And you are right it carries over into buying stuff. Love the conversation and enlightenment.!!! THANK YOU ❤️ ❤
Enjoy it. In moderation..
This is so relevant to my life! Every day, I have the same urges. I also had my first drink very early on.
Now, I have some tools to make a difference for myself. I appreciate so much that I can start to let go of the shame, understand what is happening, and change my own narrative. W, W, W, W, W, & H. Very motivational and inspirational.
I love the idea of having a picture of my four year-old self available to look at often and asking, what does SHE need right now?
I had all of the same thoughts you had about alcohol, shame and how destructive it is to my health, both mentally and physically. That’s why I did the hardest thing in my life and quit alcohol 9 years ago! Admitting you have a problem is the hardest part. I’m a total badass for quitting bc it’s not easy - no excuses and whining! Look at Women for Sobriety- that worked beautifully for me! No shame.
Thank you for your content. I can say I have successfully quit drinking before 5pm and mornings, which is progress and instead of two glasses I am now only having 1. I am thankful for Rachel sharing her experience, as a young African working in an international corporate environment, my workload was my anxiety and from your video, I can now name my craving and desire. It has been 2weeks now I am good, I have the knowledge and am empowered to achieve zero alcohol (if I want).
Thanks to you and Rachel for making this video about alcohol. I’ve been moving towards decreasing and hopefully stopping consuming alcohol. The problem with most other channels that deal with this issue is that they treat wanting to drink as a failure of character and will. Your approach also acknowledges the reasons for why we also enjoy drinking and we shouldn’t feel shame for wanting to, even though we know it’s not good for us. Other channels that have focussed on stopping drinking are hosted by men whose approach is all about stoicism, and dropping facts about what alcohol does to you. But noone I know drinks because they’re looking forward to being poisoned on Friday night. They drink because they want to disassociate or feel free. Without acknowledging the positive reasons for why we drink, we can’t actually move away from it. Thanks again!
❤Thanks for your vulnerability Mel. I have been in this same cycle for about 3 years. Ironically the shame and self criticism has increased use and not decreased it. And, snowballed the shame and self criticism anxiety, and depression and eroded my confidence. These tools are way more supportive of sobriety than shame. ❤😊
Hvala!
I was heavy drinker for 18 years and got sick and tired of it in the last 2, but never got around to quit because it was just a habit of spending time. Until my breast cancer diagnosis last year, which finally made me quit for good. With the medical research and lots of information, I know that my cancer is the result of my drinking. I think what is really missing is complete and visual information of how alcohol works in the body, what systems and organs it influences and how, and short- and long-term consequences. There is no need to learn this on own experience. It'll be exactly 1 year sober next week and I have to say it's the best year of my life though I'm on cancer treatment. I'm in full control of my life and enjoy every day without the stupid haze. In that sense, cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me and made me to finally turn my life around and quit the nasty dangerous habit.
Imagine if it was absolutley normal to have these open conversations with children, and we simply grew up understanding our urges, desires, needs, wants, and how to clearly see and innerstand them correctly. What a gift…
What do I need when I'm about to pour myself a glass of wine? I need to stop caring what other people think of me, because that's all I think about all day, every day. I need to stop giving a shit about all that right now, I deserve a break from that and this drink is going to help me be okay with myself just the way I am. And then I ultimately drink too much and feel like shit in the morning, both physically and emotionally. I haven't had a drink in over a week. This video is very timely. On word and upward! 😊 Go Mel!
Mel… I started watching this video, and then I did my own take on it and took notes, and I came to the same conclusion. You don’t like to be told what to do even by yourself. Also, when you go to do the hard thing, your lower brain is telling you to just take it easy and relax you don’t need to be doing that hard thing. But then your higher brain is telling you that you need to do the hard thing and take action. Then you get mad at your higher brain, because Something with ADHD, or a childhood trauma makes you not want to do what people say. Even if the other person is actually you. But the dopamine that you get from taking the action, will override the little bit of dopamine that you get from the Sunset gin and tonic. The reason you don’t wanna take the action is because you’re afraid you might make mistakes because when you try something new, you make mistakes because it’s requiring practice. But then you’re conflicting because you know you wanna do the hard thing and get through it, but until you actually do the action and take the steps towards, the hard thing, you’re gonna feel terrible every time. I know because that’s how I’ve been feeling conflicted. I quit drinking back in 2017, and that’s been amazing! But it’s still hard for me to take action on what I really want to do. Even though I’m the one setting myself up to do all of these things, I still, when it comes time to take the action, look towards the lower brain thing. Because it is so out of my comfort zone!
Congratulations! I quit 12+ years ago and one thing that helped me was (is) to be curious about my feelings rather than critical. It was particularly helpful if I was around people who were drinking alcohol as those conversations can get a little ridiculous😂 It gave me something to occupy my ever-busy mind (ADHD). It’s a lot easier to be kind and patient with yourself when you are curious🙏🏼
Brilliant. Nailed it
I know I have a bad RELATIONSHIP with alcohol. I kept hidden and started speaking of it to my doctor friend I guess bring to light. I dont like the taste...i love the warm buzz I get. My body is telling to stop. Once i take that first drink my brain says more! It is now affecting my productivity. I started an increase after a cervical injury and I refused pain pills. This is very helpful. Thank You
Moderation is the key....when you did the podcast about HABITS... A lot of things in moderation become habits which then can become bigger and out-of-control very easily...❤❤
No problem with alcohol per se. After seeing this, I realize that this effects every part of my life, and makes me want to give up, instead of learning, as I go. It's about not seeing things as black or white, and then shaming myself for them. This was very helpful.
Sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised.
I have debated...gone to AA but never felt it was an "addiction" either. I now understand!! Thank you lawd!!! I can move on and address the ...urges and roots of them. Haha... 😂 I too was diagnosed with ADHD @ 50 & now have realized much of my extraordinary stress is also related to "mentalpause"!! Pellets are in for that. I'm ready to ease into my new life!!❤❤❤ ty
One of the best episodes. Seriously life changing.