I think the conversation feels more about "accepting that you're an introvert" than "you're not boring, you're just an introvert". People in general gravitate toward extroverted people because as we know, humans by nature are social creatures. It's not really a "society" thing and more of human nature and survival, as any species is better in a group than by themselves. Even if we didn't have societies, extroverted people in general would still be perceived as more valuable than introverted people. You can be a boring person whether you are introverted or extroverted. I remember being in high school and I could not make friends in general. I was introverted and didn't know how to navigate friendships(I have autism, PDD-NOS). I couldn't make friends because I didn't have much experience in socializing, didn't do much outside my home(though that was more due to where I grew up which, had lack of places to go), and genuinely just didn't have anything to say. Objectively speaking, I was a boring person. I've met extroverted people that were also boring. There are a lot of factors involved. Your ability to hold a conversation, your experiences in life, goals and hobbies, how you present yourself, your environment, the topics you generally discuss, etc. I know people don't like having negative traits but, some people can objectively be, a boring person. Also, while small talk can be annoying, it's the main way people come together and form relationships. Think of deep topics as an advanced social skill and small talk is the basics. It's really hard to get to advanced sections without knowing the basic sections and knowing how to utilize the basics to get to the advanced sections.
Ok it sounded like you were describing me, from start to finish 😂. I felt SO validated when you said that you thrive in 1:1 settings but not so much in groups. Until now, I thought that was only me. All this while I've been questioning myself, wondering what is it that is so wrong with me that I find groups so uncomfortable. I'm hardly ever anyone's "chosen one", and this video is giving me permission to be ok with that.
yeah i'm on MUTE the moment a group shows up 🤣 and ur right, it's okay if you're not chosen, other people's validation isn't even that fulfilling anyway, what matters most is you enjoying your own company + liking yourself ❤️❤️
Me too. I just feel like I either become quiet or I talk gibberish in a group. I either share something weird trying to be funny. Then I fail to explain and some things just makes me look like a clown. It's so embarassing that I want to bury myself sometimes. And my clumsiness is a cherry on the top. When it's just one to one it's more okay with the right people. I think my conversational skills is going down the drain almost as if I don't feel human, lol.
As an introvert, thank you so much. I've been feeling pressured lately and uncomfortable because I was convincing myself that there was something wrong with me. I am now working on accepting my introverted self and not being ashamed to say it out loud when I don't feel like being among people
I hate how constantly was told that I'll be alone or miserable if I don't want to fit in. ,,You have to do it because other do", no, that makes me hate this even more and I don't want it
Honestly, I don’t usually write comments, but your videos came to me at a time when I’m in a very bad place mentally. Everything you talk about resonates deeply with me, and I’ve never felt more understood. Your content gives me hope and motivation not to give up. It’s comforting to know there are others like me out there. I used to think that ‘just be yourself’ meant ‘speak your mind, even if it’s unpopular.’ It never occurred to me that it could also mean ‘if you don’t feel like speaking, it’s okay to stay quiet.’ I don’t know why I never realized this before, but you’ve opened up a whole new perspective for me. Now I feel like it’s okay to just be myself and that being quiet isn’t a bad thing. ❤
I’m an introvert but I do everything like working out, graphic design, photography and art. Plus I was told I was funny and charismatic personality. People love being around me. Honestly what I realized is a lot of people loves introverts because we have a chill aura to us and different from the people they’ve seen
Really validating video. I would like to add that, even as an introvert, you have to sometimes be a little upfront with your likes and dislikes, in order to find like minded people. Yes, you don’t have to be super energetic, confident and talkative, but if, for example, you disagree with something being said in a group setting, you should rather talk, even if your voice shakes and your hands feel sweaty. I think a bit of disagreeableness works like a filter for people you mesh or people you don’t mesh with
In the past years I was just trying to pretend I'm someone that I'm not so that people wouldn't assume me as a shy or boring person just as you mentioned in this video.And honestly your videos helped me a lot to be aware of these things and accept myself for who I really am. I really appreciate you ❤
My ex literally broke up with me and told me you have no friends. It’s great to hear I’m not the only one like this. I thought I was the problem for the longest time.
@@Notorious-AP Well he also said i dont like you anymore and you have no one besides me, then tried to come back 6 months later. I didnt reply to his messages but i liked him so much, still thinking about him idk whats wrong with me. Ive heard hes in a new relationship now
this video resonates so much with me! it's really been on my mind recently and although I accept myself I still find it difficult sometimes to not be alienated by the extroversion all around. being around people drains me SO MUCH but I like spending some time with people i like, I just know my limits and respect myself enough to set boundaries, thank you for this video
I have one close friend and she's the best we can both just sit in a room together in silence and it feels completely comfortable and we only see each other once a year and when we do it's like we where never apart and we get up to all kinds of crazy antics😂. Love this ho. 😊❤
I literally did that today, went to the climbing gym with two girl even though I wanted to be alone. I felt really excluded, and when that happens (which is often, low self esteem) it becomes very obvious I have mental illness which just pushes the bad feeling further. I guess I didn’t want people thinking I’m crazy or smth. But I’m okay now. Relatable, good video:)
Wow this channel is made for me. I really respect the topics you’re speaking about. I do feel seen, and it’s giving me a lot to think about. I think you should definitely be in psychology. And I do feel boring because I’m not extroverted, but I don’t want that to be an excuse to being uninteresting… how do we measure someone who’s interesting? I truly feel bored day to day and feel like I have nothing to say or do in my life.
although i've been trying to get out more and get involved in my community (going to music sessions, networking events) also doing craft fairs as a business owner helps, and generally catching up with friends--trying to feel less guilty when there are days that I just want to sit at home and rest, especially since im always busy at work anyways.
Hii, great video! Idk if you will see this but your words kinda hit me in heart rethinking all those moment. i felt lonely and the feeling that i "had" to talk to my "friends" but honestly i really did felt left out and ignored,whenever i tryed to talk to my friends idk it was my brain overthinking or my friends were really think i was boring talker i mean we all had same interest in anime/drawing/story making but when i wanted to do those stuff with them they would ALWAYS reject me and do all those stuff with themself and sometime forcing me to sit beside there chair in school and idk it just made me rethink all those moment :'> Wich is why i really don't like being in friend group because one person will get left out i just want a real friend who accept my real side and just be good friends who will have same interest as mine hopefully...new year school.....new ppl...hope i get new friends, and you know i feel like i'm kindish a better talker and iggg a a bit of a joker when talking online in chats? Because i think my brain has more time to think?? Idk is that weird? Bcs i have a online friend who even know i'm mostly a listener even through chatting lol💀 :'> again great video and have a lovely day :]💙❤️
I love this video! Well, I never personally mask but I do know someone who a mix of a introvert and extrovert (ambivert) and she usually puts on a mask to asked all loud and outgoing, but she’s a Tilley pretty quiet and reserved. And she’ll be herself when she’s with her friends.
I found your channel a month ago and I am so glad I did❤ Your videos are really eyeopening to me, I feel less alone about my struggles with social anxiety and I feel like I learn so much about social situations and friendships. Thank you so much❤
I absolutely LOVE my two hour YT binges! It's how I found this channel. I feel bad that people perceive me as extroverted and expect me to be a social butterfly 24/7. I do genuinely enjoy people, I find them to be fascinating. But I also enjoy my peace and quiet. There's strong evidence to support that I'm actually autistic and not introverted, and it makes more sense as I continue to research and complete some initial testing. I'm sure there are others who are similar. Thank you for sharing your perspective!
Would love to know your MBTI ! I’m an INFJ, and all my life, I’ve felt misunderstood and excluded by society. It seems that the more I try to blend in with everyone, the more I was pushed away. I’m a kind and empathetic person who loves to help others, so people often come to me to share their problems, but when I need someone, there’s no one. I’ve been told that I’m quiet and reserved, but in reality, small talk and casual friendships have never been my thing; I prefer deep conversations and meaningful relationships, although the idea of friendship that most people have doesn’t match mine. I’m not a club-goer type of person. I enjoy spending time alone, reading, watching series, or doing something creative, but people often perceive this as being boring. I understand everyone so well and always try to be a good and helpful friend, but no matter how much I give, it never feels like enough. People come into my life, praising my uniqueness and kindness, saying that I’m different from everyone else, only to take advantage of my good nature😔.It hurts so much when people you held so close to your heart betray you like that. Recently, due to some friendship and relationship failures, I was really depressed and felt completely alone. Your video came at the perfect time. Thank you so much, dear!❤ For the first time in a while, I felt seen and realized I’m not the only one who is like this, it gave me a lot of strength. It’s really hard when you understand everyone to their core, but no one seems to get you or even tries to understand you even a little bit in return.
Hey Christina i stumbled across your channel and now i got into "your" rabbithole :D i wanna send a big thanks and a hug to you! You sharing your thoughts and experiences really is of great benefit for me and i think for many others aswell
Hello and good day, great video like always thank you. I have a question is it possible that the meaning or even definition of introvert needs to change or be reevaluated? Because you as the hostess of the video or anyone else that's in the comments reading this if you consider yourself an introvert to the point where you find a lot of social situations and interactions to be very difficult and challenging, I can understand that. However, to be able to make a 20 to 30 minute video and to have a following on the internet where you're able to talk so freely and open and put yourself out there for the entire world not a city, town, or college campus to see and observe on top of taking constructive criticism, I would think that that would be the opposite of an introvert. Please anyone reading this correct me if I'm wrong but it's part of the understanding of an introvert is making yourself uncomfortable and vulnerable to some degree, especially on a socialized setting. Is one not doing that when you use social media as a platform of any kind? It just appears that what we considered an introvert in the 70s, '80s, and '90s the meaning and definition has changed for 2010, 2020, even 2024 today.
Am an INFJ too, it's really hard right always being this all kind, loving and giving person but in return getting alienated from society. It feels like as if no one gets us😔
lol honestly I just stopped caring to make friends, majority of my friends leave - so I'm not trying any more, eventually I might find some friends that reciprocate. just people pleasing atp
Same, at the moment Idc for friends anymore. Just trying to understand my unhealthy coping mechanisms and peaple pleasing so I can be more authentic as a person.
I'm so grateful for this video Is this year I passed to my new school and and now in new class I'm feeling pretty lonely like is this days at school I don't have anyone do deep talk with, and my friends from and as her places are busy too Actually I'm an extrovert, but when I surrounded by new people or when l have not enough energy and confident... I think I seem is an introvert But it's not me Especially thanks for the last block of this video, because it's so me 🫠 Literally a couple of days ago I was going out with my classmates. I was communicating with such cute and interesting girl, but when her friends came, for no reason I felt so bad. It's crushed all our atmosphere, and I didn't have any topics to talk to all these people I started to blame myself like I could be better I could go to this people, talk about something stupid, maybe find some place near them and keep going wearing my mesk But now I think i did pretty well. And I should be more kind to myself and and give more time to this situation Also sorry for my English, I didn't think I wrote everything correct but at least I tried 🫠
“You like deep talk, not small talk” I like that
irk small talk is just exhuasting 😒
The “you’re not boring…” series is a masterpiece. So ready for this new installment
thank you! i'm already planning the next one hehe
At this point Christina should write a self-acceptance book called “You’re Not Boring”
I think the conversation feels more about "accepting that you're an introvert" than "you're not boring, you're just an introvert". People in general gravitate toward extroverted people because as we know, humans by nature are social creatures. It's not really a "society" thing and more of human nature and survival, as any species is better in a group than by themselves. Even if we didn't have societies, extroverted people in general would still be perceived as more valuable than introverted people.
You can be a boring person whether you are introverted or extroverted. I remember being in high school and I could not make friends in general. I was introverted and didn't know how to navigate friendships(I have autism, PDD-NOS). I couldn't make friends because I didn't have much experience in socializing, didn't do much outside my home(though that was more due to where I grew up which, had lack of places to go), and genuinely just didn't have anything to say. Objectively speaking, I was a boring person. I've met extroverted people that were also boring.
There are a lot of factors involved. Your ability to hold a conversation, your experiences in life, goals and hobbies, how you present yourself, your environment, the topics you generally discuss, etc. I know people don't like having negative traits but, some people can objectively be, a boring person. Also, while small talk can be annoying, it's the main way people come together and form relationships. Think of deep topics as an advanced social skill and small talk is the basics. It's really hard to get to advanced sections without knowing the basic sections and knowing how to utilize the basics to get to the advanced sections.
thank for sharing
Ok it sounded like you were describing me, from start to finish 😂. I felt SO validated when you said that you thrive in 1:1 settings but not so much in groups. Until now, I thought that was only me. All this while I've been questioning myself, wondering what is it that is so wrong with me that I find groups so uncomfortable. I'm hardly ever anyone's "chosen one", and this video is giving me permission to be ok with that.
yeah i'm on MUTE the moment a group shows up 🤣 and ur right, it's okay if you're not chosen, other people's validation isn't even that fulfilling anyway, what matters most is you enjoying your own company + liking yourself ❤️❤️
Me too. I just feel like I either become quiet or I talk gibberish in a group. I either share something weird trying to be funny. Then I fail to explain and some things just makes me look like a clown. It's so embarassing that I want to bury myself sometimes. And my clumsiness is a cherry on the top. When it's just one to one it's more okay with the right people. I think my conversational skills is going down the drain almost as if I don't feel human, lol.
As an introvert, thank you so much. I've been feeling pressured lately and uncomfortable because I was convincing myself that there was something wrong with me. I am now working on accepting my introverted self and not being ashamed to say it out loud when I don't feel like being among people
I've literally been beating myself up about this topic for a couple of days, this came at the right time ❤
so glad it found you :)
I hate how constantly was told that I'll be alone or miserable if I don't want to fit in. ,,You have to do it because other do", no, that makes me hate this even more and I don't want it
Honestly, I don’t usually write comments, but your videos came to me at a time when I’m in a very bad place mentally. Everything you talk about resonates deeply with me, and I’ve never felt more understood. Your content gives me hope and motivation not to give up. It’s comforting to know there are others like me out there.
I used to think that ‘just be yourself’ meant ‘speak your mind, even if it’s unpopular.’ It never occurred to me that it could also mean ‘if you don’t feel like speaking, it’s okay to stay quiet.’ I don’t know why I never realized this before, but you’ve opened up a whole new perspective for me. Now I feel like it’s okay to just be myself and that being quiet isn’t a bad thing. ❤
I see you ❤ There are so many of us like this, you're not alone xo
I’m an introvert but I do everything like working out, graphic design, photography and art. Plus I was told I was funny and charismatic personality. People love being around me. Honestly what I realized is a lot of people loves introverts because we have a chill aura to us and different from the people they’ve seen
I really need this video, cause tomorrow its going to be my first day in a new class, with new mates and honestly I'm so scared
You got this!
Really validating video. I would like to add that, even as an introvert, you have to sometimes be a little upfront with your likes and dislikes, in order to find like minded people. Yes, you don’t have to be super energetic, confident and talkative, but if, for example, you disagree with something being said in a group setting, you should rather talk, even if your voice shakes and your hands feel sweaty. I think a bit of disagreeableness works like a filter for people you mesh or people you don’t mesh with
In the past years I was just trying to pretend I'm someone that I'm not so that people wouldn't assume me as a shy or boring person just as you mentioned in this video.And honestly your videos helped me a lot to be aware of these things and accept myself for who I really am. I really appreciate you ❤
My ex literally broke up with me and told me you have no friends. It’s great to hear I’m not the only one like this. I thought I was the problem for the longest time.
Thats not a good reason to break up with someone they are probably just finding any old reason
@@Notorious-AP Well he also said i dont like you anymore and you have no one besides me, then tried to come back 6 months later. I didnt reply to his messages but i liked him so much, still thinking about him idk whats wrong with me. Ive heard hes in a new relationship now
this video resonates so much with me! it's really been on my mind recently and although I accept myself I still find it difficult sometimes to not be alienated by the extroversion all around. being around people drains me SO MUCH but I like spending some time with people i like, I just know my limits and respect myself enough to set boundaries, thank you for this video
I have one close friend and she's the best we can both just sit in a room together in silence and it feels completely comfortable and we only see each other once a year and when we do it's like we where never apart and we get up to all kinds of crazy antics😂. Love this ho. 😊❤
I literally did that today, went to the climbing gym with two girl even though I wanted to be alone. I felt really excluded, and when that happens (which is often, low self esteem) it becomes very obvious I have mental illness which just pushes the bad feeling further. I guess I didn’t want people thinking I’m crazy or smth. But I’m okay now. Relatable, good video:)
I just lost all my friends today and I really needed this. Thank you❤
I’ve also lost friends because I’m introverted I just don’t want to fit into that lifestyle cause it’s not me
Wow this channel is made for me. I really respect the topics you’re speaking about. I do feel seen, and it’s giving me a lot to think about. I think you should definitely be in psychology. And I do feel boring because I’m not extroverted, but I don’t want that to be an excuse to being uninteresting… how do we measure someone who’s interesting? I truly feel bored day to day and feel like I have nothing to say or do in my life.
although i've been trying to get out more and get involved in my community (going to music sessions, networking events) also doing craft fairs as a business owner helps, and generally catching up with friends--trying to feel less guilty when there are days that I just want to sit at home and rest, especially since im always busy at work anyways.
hey gang
Hii, great video! Idk if you will see this but your words kinda hit me in heart rethinking all those moment. i felt lonely and the feeling that i "had" to talk to my "friends" but honestly i really did felt left out and ignored,whenever i tryed to talk to my friends idk it was my brain overthinking or my friends were really think i was boring talker i mean we all had same interest in anime/drawing/story making but when i wanted to do those stuff with them they would ALWAYS reject me and do all those stuff with themself and sometime forcing me to sit beside there chair in school and idk it just made me rethink all those moment :'>
Wich is why i really don't like being in friend group because one person will get left out i just want a real friend who accept my real side and just be good friends who will have same interest as mine hopefully...new year school.....new ppl...hope i get new friends, and you know i feel like i'm kindish a better talker and iggg a a bit of a joker when talking online in chats? Because i think my brain has more time to think?? Idk is that weird? Bcs i have a online friend who even know i'm mostly a listener even through chatting lol💀 :'> again great video and have a lovely day :]💙❤️
I really relate to almost everything you're saying, great video!
I love this video! Well, I never personally mask but I do know someone who a mix of a introvert and extrovert (ambivert) and she usually puts on a mask to asked all loud and outgoing, but she’s a Tilley pretty quiet and reserved. And she’ll be herself when she’s with her friends.
I found your channel a month ago and I am so glad I did❤ Your videos are really eyeopening to me, I feel less alone about my struggles with social anxiety and I feel like I learn so much about social situations and friendships. Thank you so much❤
I love videos like that because they make me understand myself more, love you
just started watching your videos and you have great insight keep it up!
I absolutely LOVE my two hour YT binges! It's how I found this channel.
I feel bad that people perceive me as extroverted and expect me to be a social butterfly 24/7. I do genuinely enjoy people, I find them to be fascinating. But I also enjoy my peace and quiet. There's strong evidence to support that I'm actually autistic and not introverted, and it makes more sense as I continue to research and complete some initial testing. I'm sure there are others who are similar.
Thank you for sharing your perspective!
So glad I found your channel. Definitely feeling like less of a social weirdo haha. Thank you for what you're doing! 🙏
I am an introvert and i Love small talk
They are simple short and nice
And that’s it
12:01 this is me! & i learned its true, just be authentic
New subscriber here from jamaica..I like it here, looking forward to watching all the videos...I love smart ppl..yay!🎉❤
i feel like alot of this girl's videos are just her gaining more and more self awareness as she grows older
Christina is amazing!
So many gems💎💎💎
Thank you Christinaaa!!!!😭
Thats really all i can say🥹🤍🫶🏾
Would love to know your MBTI ! I’m an INFJ, and all my life, I’ve felt misunderstood and excluded by society. It seems that the more I try to blend in with everyone, the more I was pushed away. I’m a kind and empathetic person who loves to help others, so people often come to me to share their problems, but when I need someone, there’s no one. I’ve been told that I’m quiet and reserved, but in reality, small talk and casual friendships have never been my thing; I prefer deep conversations and meaningful relationships, although the idea of friendship that most people have doesn’t match mine.
I’m not a club-goer type of person. I enjoy spending time alone, reading, watching series, or doing something creative, but people often perceive this as being boring. I understand everyone so well and always try to be a good and helpful friend, but no matter how much I give, it never feels like enough. People come into my life, praising my uniqueness and kindness, saying that I’m different from everyone else, only to take advantage of my good nature😔.It hurts so much when people you held so close to your heart betray you like that.
Recently, due to some friendship and relationship failures, I was really depressed and felt completely alone. Your video came at the perfect time. Thank you so much, dear!❤ For the first time in a while, I felt seen and realized I’m not the only one who is like this, it gave me a lot of strength. It’s really hard when you understand everyone to their core, but no one seems to get you or even tries to understand you even a little bit in return.
I feel this comment on a deeper level, thank you so much for watching. I was an INFJ for many years but recently took the test and I am ENFJ ❤
@@ChristinaAaliyahthanks for sharing 😄 lots of love❤
You have great content. Hope you can get the balance as a 40 year old the balance comes over time and experiences.
Have you ever thought about a career in psychology? As a psychologist, I must say you articulate thougts/feelings of others so well!
looking forward to your live christina!!
see u there
Hey Christina i stumbled across your channel and now i got into "your" rabbithole :D i wanna send a big thanks and a hug to you! You sharing your thoughts and experiences really is of great benefit for me and i think for many others aswell
I think I can relate to this video
Thank you for TH-cam video ❤️🌆 lonely night
Eagles always fly alone.
🍇
No that’s definitely being boring but there is nothing wrong with that
Hello and good day, great video like always thank you. I have a question is it possible that the meaning or even definition of introvert needs to change or be reevaluated? Because you as the hostess of the video or anyone else that's in the comments reading this if you consider yourself an introvert to the point where you find a lot of social situations and interactions to be very difficult and challenging, I can understand that. However, to be able to make a 20 to 30 minute video and to have a following on the internet where you're able to talk so freely and open and put yourself out there for the entire world not a city, town, or college campus to see and observe on top of taking constructive criticism, I would think that that would be the opposite of an introvert.
Please anyone reading this correct me if I'm wrong but it's part of the understanding of an introvert is making yourself uncomfortable and vulnerable to some degree, especially on a socialized setting. Is one not doing that when you use social media as a platform of any kind? It just appears that what we considered an introvert in the 70s, '80s, and '90s the meaning and definition has changed for 2010, 2020, even 2024 today.
Are you an INFJ by any chance because you literally described me in a nutshell!
Am an INFJ too, it's really hard right always being this all kind, loving and giving person but in return getting alienated from society. It feels like as if no one gets us😔
lol honestly I just stopped caring to make friends, majority of my friends leave - so I'm not trying any more, eventually I might find some friends that reciprocate. just people pleasing atp
Same, at the moment Idc for friends anymore. Just trying to understand my unhealthy coping mechanisms and peaple pleasing so I can be more authentic as a person.
SECONDD
I know you changed the thumbnail of this video
i'm trying out 2 of them for the next few hours
I need to read your birth chart I am sure it’s pretty interesting
omg tell me 4th jan 2001
@@ChristinaAaliyah birth time so I can know your rising sign and I am going to dm you your birth chart
thank you soo much for this video, i really needed to accept all of those things to myself and stop pretending to be someone who im not 🩷
I'm so grateful for this video
Is this year I passed to my new school and and now in new class I'm feeling pretty lonely
like is this days at school I don't have anyone do deep talk with, and my friends from and as her places are busy too
Actually I'm an extrovert, but when I surrounded by new people or when l have not enough energy and confident... I think I seem is an introvert
But it's not me
Especially thanks for the last block of this video, because it's so me 🫠
Literally a couple of days ago I was going out with my classmates. I was communicating with such cute and interesting girl, but when her friends came, for no reason I felt so bad. It's crushed all our atmosphere, and I didn't have any topics to talk to all these people
I started to blame myself like I could be better
I could go to this people, talk about something stupid, maybe find some place near them and keep going wearing my mesk
But now I think i did pretty well.
And I should be more kind to myself and and give more time to this situation
Also sorry for my English, I didn't think I wrote everything correct but at least I tried 🫠