Having a Rough Week | Life After Stillbirth
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- I have been very positive and upbeat in some of my most recent videos, but I also go through days of intense sadness. Going into 2019 without my son was something that has been very hard on me. Please comment below if you have felt this way and what you do to bring your spirits up.
Check out my new website:
www.stillbraxtonsmama.com
IG: @Feli_urvana
Music by: Bensound.com
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I love how your videos remind mothers that having a child is a privilege and a miracle. I can see why getting back to work and school can feel overwhelming. It's always okay to be kind to yourself! Your body went through so much since pregnancy to the day that you lost a living baby and after of course. Hugs!
Hugs!
Hi Felly, I am so sorry for your loss.
For some reason your video popped up on my feed. I’m not sure why since most of the videos I watch are family vlogs or beauty related. But the title caught my eye, so I watched. It’s the one titled “for our son Braxton, born sleeping”. I had no idea what it would be about to be honest. I’ve had five sons and four of them are adults. Although I’ve heard of still birth, I had no idea it could happen to a healthy mom, baby, and pregnancy. I have been watching your videos for a few days now and I just have to tell you that even though I’m not pregnant or planning to be anymore, you have made me realize how precious life is. Although I am cherishing my last baby who is now six years old, I feel like I am trying even more so not to take anything for granted because nobody is promised tomorrow.
As difficult as it is to share your story, I commend you on your bravery. It helps not only those moms who are going through a similar experience but also other moms like myself, who don’t realize how much we take for granted.
Thank you. You are an amazing mom, and strong woman. Braxton’s memory will live on because of you.
👼🏼❤️
I'm a 60 year old woman who has 3 grown children and 11 grandchildren. I worked in a couple of Family Birth Centers. I saw more than my share of stillborn. Since I didn't go home with the patients, I had NO idea what happens to the couples. You are a strong and full of courage lady to make these beautiful videos for the grieving mom's and couples out there. Thank you for your honesty and love for others!
I lost my baby when I was 36 almost 37 weeks on 2/12/16, I gave birth to her 2/16/16. Watching your videos brings back all those feelings I had. Time really does heal, the hurt never ends and you’ll never stop missing him. But there will come a time when you don’t always cry when you think of him, and when you can talk about him without only feeling sadness. I think of my girl every single day and I always wish I could have her here with me. I hope you continue to heal, take your time.
Hello. I found your channel through a comment you left on another TH-camr’s channel. Although I’ve never been in your situation, I just wanted to say that your videos are very inspirational. You’re brave to come on camera and express emotions to the world. Sending prayers and well wishes your way. 💕
Thank you so much for that sweet message xo
I am only 14 and the whole idea of losing my child gives me horror, you are such a strong and amaze women and your courage is so unbelievably admirable. The fact that you put your story out their is brave. Braxton will always be with you and his daddy :( he is so loved and will always be in my head. I'm praying for you. Stay strong bby :(❤
Finally someone agrees with me that Baby Braxton will always be with his family and I prayed for god to bring baby Braxton back to life
Seeing the pain in your eyes made me heart broken, sending love and prayers you’ll get through this.💙
Hey mama! Im so so sorry for your loss. It is an unimaginable pain that no mother should have to live through. Unfortunately i have also and am also living through it. I lost my son at 24 weeks last august. I know exactly what you are going through. The firdt few months are the toughest, each day is different. And its okay to feel everything you feel. Go through it all. What helps me is i give a moment each day to my son. Whether its to cry, wallow, or talk to him. You are doing so great sharing him which is something i feel i would have loved to do as it keeps his memory alive. Please know you are not alone and 5 months on i can tell you that it hasnt gotten better but it has gotten easier to cope with. I find comfort in knowing im still a mom even though i can only mother my baby in heaven. Sorry for the long comment. Right here with you mama!
Exactly your still a mother ! This is also one thing that kept me going and proud
Oh sweet sweet love...I do not know you but you are and always will be your precious baby boy's mommy. There is a thread we cannot see that attaches your heart to his. It's an invisible bond that will link you both together forever. Those soft subtle pitter patters of rain drops falling...the butterfly that flutters in your garden...the wind kissing your cheek...just close your eyes and see Braxton smiling and hear him whisper "I love you Mommy!"
I just went through this last week Thursday. I almost died after everything and had to be rushed back to the hospital. This is really hard to process!
I was moms first survivor baby. She lost my 3 older brothers to stillbirth. Now mom has also gone. She left us Jan 15th this year and I pray she's with my 3 brothers, who are with your dear Jaxx. May God bless you and comfort you continually. Watching your videos in a good way reminded me of mom telling me about my older heavenly brothers. I never realized how many families are touched by stillbirth. My love and prayers are with you. 🇨🇦🌹🏵💐🌸🦄🐩
This was so beautiful. I loved how you showed and explained the lows you go through. Your vulnerability is beautiful. It is so helpful to moms who might have just lost a baby, or who even lost one longer ago. it’s okay to grieve and grieving has no timeline like you said. You are so strong. The way that you take your grief and help the world even when you’re in a dark place. Like I always tell you.. you are a light in this world.
I was shopping at Target and Marshall’s today and you & Brax were on my mind frequently. He will always be remembered and loved.. because you are still his mama & he is forever loved. Tomorrow is the 12th of Jan. 4 months ❤️
Thank you, Liz.. Thank you for always remembering his day :) xo
I am so sorry for your loss. I have had miscarriages and I know how hard that was. I can't even imagine what you are going through. My heart breaks for you and Jonathan. Braxton will always be with you and watching over you. He is a beautiful little boy. This is a topic that should be talked about. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with all of us..💙💜💚❤💛💞
Ur Angel Braxton is proud of you, ur a strong mom, Thank you for sharing ur videos.
I just had a stillbirth and I’m devastated. I hope your videos help me. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this either.
Theres no rule how to heal, just take your time and have faith. Xxx 1 year one and i feel the same loss as I did but things do pick up with time.
Your baby is in a safe and better place x
I’ll pray to God that he’ll give you twins next time
There is no god
@@strangelillas appalling!
@@strangelillas omg there is a God that is hearing your ignorant comment well then who created us once god comes us for his people you will suddendly know the truth
@@anamedina4383 If there is a God he is a narcissist.
Wow it's amazing how certain feelings you had I did also. I thought I was the only one with those feelings and thoughts.
Especially not knowing what colour his eyes are ....I used to feel when would I stop crying... felt like that's all I knew how too.
Faith and knowing one day God willing we will unite keeps me going. Xx
I tried to avoid this video because I knew it would break my heart. I don’t know you but I wish so bad that your situation was different. There is nothing that any of us can say to take your pain away but I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
I know this video was 2 years ago but I just discovered your channel yesterday. I’m 22 weeks pregnant with a little boy & your story reminds me to cherish every single second of this pregnancy & also made me much more aware of still birth & infant loss. I want to say I’m so sorry for your loss. Your grace & strength are so inspiring. I’ll be praying for you & your beautiful family. Sending love & peace ♥️
Have faith in God... Everything will be alright... I will surely pray to god for you
uttam borthakur 🙄
My heart breaks for you. I will pray for your peace and strength. You are stronger than you think by doing these videos and helping others.
I love you 💕 your so real and this video I’m sure was very encouraging and helpful to those moms who have “bad days” and feel like they are at square one. I’m sure crying with you and seeing that there is hope and you managed to get through the day comforts those moms who are feeling exactly what your feeling.
Braxton’s tree is so beautiful - the name of the tree definitely suits the beautiful location and view and I’m so thankful you brought us along to such a special place. I love your videos and I’m so thankful that even through your sorrow God is using you. 💜🤗 Your in my prayers 💓🌸
Ohhhhh honey my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry you're facing such tragedy! I also thank you for being SO BRAVE to tell your story. Im sure there's many mama's relating to your story. You're giving a gift to others and healing at the same time. I like your stories about what you envisioned Braxton to be like. They make me smile and I picture those things happening right along with you. You ARE a great mama!!! Much love and peace to you dear. Braxton is beautiful ♥️
I love your videos ! It takes a lot of courage ! It’s a beautiful way to keep your baby boys memory alive . Your baby boy is touching a lot of peoples lives.
This video helps me a angel mom find comfort. It really does makes me feel like everything I went through was ok . And other women understand me and I’m not alone in my feelings .
It’s been almost two years for me since losing my girls. And your videos are still helping me . Keep doing it mama! You’re making your angel proud!
Hi darling
I understand you soooo so much. I lost my baby girl 2 and half months at 38 weeks pregnant. I feel exactly the same. I can't comprehend this still. The pain is extremely strong. I miss her every day, hour, minute, second. I don't know what to do. I dont want to do nothing. I want life to stand still.
You WILL get to feel a kiss from him. You WILL hear him call you mommy. I cannot imagine the pain you went through and still going through because I have only had miscarriages.. I still feel the loss but nothing compared to giving birth. What keeps me going is thinking that one day we will get to see our babies. They're with our heavenly Father waiting for us until we reunite 💓 I'm sure as soon as he sees you, he's gonna run to you and hug you. I'll be praying for you mama!
Waves and periods of sadness are very normal darling girl. Do not scold yourself for them. Just know that they will become farther apart and of shorter duration until your memories of Braxton are all good ones. Life will get better, will go back to normal, but you are right, you are forever changed by the little angels that came into your life. I've been through this, I know. May God bless you on this journey.
You will look back, and know that sharing this, will not only show your strength, but it will help others. I had a miscarriage between my daughters, who are now 17 and 15. I could not have known then, that because I had experienced that loss, I have been able to help family and others who have experienced a miscarriage, find hope. Also, my now 15 year old daughter, would not be here, had I not miscarried. She is worth the pain I went through, because she is absolutely amazing. I will always miss my baby who waits in Heaven for me.💖💖💖💖
I'm so glad I stumbled onto your videos. You are obviously such a wonderful person. Seeing someone so kind suffer like you are is heartbreaking. I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times before but I'm so sorry for your loss.
This breaks my heart. I pray for you and your family. You’re so strong❤️🙏.
I am so sorry you both (and your families) have lost Braxton. It breaks my heart. You will have good & bad days, just take things 1 day at a time. Give yourself permission to feel good (or bad). Your heart & soul needs this. I love Braxton's tree, it's such a beautiful spot and loving tribute! Sending you lots of healing thoughts!!
U r too strong... Be strong for braxton... He feels proud of his mamma...
Anything you feel is absolutely justifiable. Feel however you feel and don’t ever think that you have to apologize for it. You WILL be happy again but I do believe that that pain will always be there. There’s really nothing I could say that would make any sort of difference but I think about you literally daily. I will be praying for you and your family.
Sending you so much love. Thank you for making this video. I am going through a pregnancy loss and my heart is broken... and I am just struggling and searching for other mamma's stories who have felt this type of paint
Never been threw this I had my first child at 19 and I just look up too you because of your ability to share your story I’m deeply sorry for your loss please keep up with your TH-cam channel just show us how strong your goin to continue to be your rainbow baby needs you
I said a prayer for your strength and healing. 😔 You’re going through such heartbreak and still are able to be so strong. As weak as you may feel....I don’t think I could handle that as gracefully as you are.
did you ever find out what happened? could it have been prevented? sorry for your loss :(
I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but it will be okay. God will be your strength and everyday you will feel that little bit stronger, even if it’s just 1%. You will think of Braxton everyday and that’s okay 💙 but you will learn how to be happy again. I promise. 💙
I lost my son D’Andre 10 months ago . The pain of never seeing or holding your baby will always be their you just learn to live with the pain. I take it a day at a time and I can tell you that my days are like a roller coaster one minute I can be fine and the next sad and crying. All the emotions you feel are normal and acceptable. My anxiety lately has been tough because my son should have been turning 1yr old in March and the thought of knowing he won’t be here to celebrate kills me 👼💙😭. A huge hug to you mommy 💖
Yes, a roller coaster is the best way to describe it.. Sometimes that roller coaster stays at the very bottom and it takes so much effort and energy to raise your spirits again. When is D'Andre's birthday? My birthday is in March too xo
Felly - Still Braxton’s Mama My little baby boy was born 03/03/18 at 4:22pm ... I would love to send you a bday card if you don’t mind if you want to message me your mailing address dkpoohbear78@gmail.com ....keep your sons memory alive by doings in his name... I’ve been doing that and it helps... so sorry we have to go through this pain
Did you ever record the video of your birth story? Or did you decide against doing that? Im sure that will take alot out of you, but maybe it could also help you feel better
I’m praying for u sweetie my daughter go threw the same thing every week just take things easy n know he’s in a better place. God bless u honey he’s always around u n in ur heart ❤️
You’re such an amazing person 💙 keep your head held high. Don’t think negative. Your little Brax is looking down at his amazing mommy. & you will be happy .. it will take time, and I’m sure one day you will have another blessing & Brax is always going to be proud of you girl... 💙
I am so sorry for your loss my dear, I will pray for you. Many blessings to come your way💝💝
Yes I believe Braxton waits for you in Heaven I lost my not yet born baby girl in 2004 and she comes to me in my dreams every few years- changing with every visit 🦋
Hey mama I'm so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine not having a baby that u cared for nine months. You are a strong and beautiful woman. Braxton is always is in are hearts forever 💕💕💕💕💙
You still are a wonderful mother to him💙 GOD BLESS YOU 💛 i admire You so much✨
Hi Felly, I don't think the video negative at all. I think it's up to us to grieve and grieve honestly, and that's exactly what you're doing. That is the nature of the beast now, unfortunately sometimes it can ambush and make us feel like we're back to Day 1. This was me on Mon and Tues, exactly one month from losing our angel Ava. I made it through her due date (1-3) just fine and then it just hit me on Jan 7th that she should be here with us. The one thing I will say that is helping me is keeping a journal and sharing those thoughts with my inner circle. It is also something I hope to look back on and know that there was force bigger than me propelling me to put one foot in front of the other, day by day.
Thanks for posting.
Thank you. Yes, honestly it has been such a roller coaster of emotions.. I never know what I'm going to get. I have that same feeling of the "future me" that will be full of life and happiness again. Sending you hugs xo
I’m so sorry for your lost 😞 I will never fully understand that feeling but just know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. And this is something that you will never get over 100% but just know you are strong! Always keep God by your side. And your baby is by your side too and although you won’t know how he would of been know he is a beautiful angel that you will see one day. Keep strong and know your not the only one going through this. Sending you sooooo much love & Hugs 💙
ive been watching your videos for a while and I. am really sorry for you loss may he rest in peace x it time u will heal and always have him in your heart now it seems hard don't let negativity poison your mind u will be ok in time and god will bless you with an other angel while little Braxton will watch u be the best mum u was gone be for him x
My heart aches for you and your pain. You will always miss him, but I believe there will come a time that you will be happy. You will have good days and bad days. Such a beautiful baby. I think sharing your feelings will help you deal with this loss. You are beautiful and brave and strong. Praying for you and your family. 🙏🏼🌹🥰🥵💔
This made me cry..... I am praying for you!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel your pain so much. We lost our baby Isaac at 39 weeks on May 5th and everything you say I feel too. I sit in his room just like you have and think and talk about him.
You are so strong mama, bless your heart 😔❤️
What a beautiful place to cry though! 😢 I’m so sorry for your loss, it will be better someday.
Ho hunny I wish I could hug you, I lost my daughter Samantha over 20 yrs ago and I still think and miss her still. My advice is to give your self time and talk and let your feelings out.i tried to hold everything in for the sake of others and it eventually made me ill.i did have another child 2 yrs after Samantha and that was a game changer for me.It really help me move on and keep me occupied, I never stopped thinking of Samantha but now I like to think she living through my 2nd daughter eyes. You never forget him I believe you will see him again. Xxx
Don't hurt yourself so much....it a healing process! Only with time!
Sweet girl, I am so sorry for your loss.
You will see him again in heaven and know that he is an Angel of God and he is always watching over you till you see him again 💙😊💙🙏🙏🙏
All of the things that you said you were wondering about, are things I have enjoyed with my children, as they have grown up. They are teenagers now. I know you are busy with Briza, (I hope you are getting some sleep at least!!), but maybe keeping a journal of the things that you want to share with your son. Many people, myself included, find writing out their feelings and thoughts to be a release and therapeutic thing to do. You will be able to go back and read the things you thought, and you will be able to share with your daughter someday. 💖💖💖💖
P.S. I should have kept watching, as I now see you said you do write to your son. Thank you for sharing Braxton’s Tree, and that beautiful view.
When I am sad I read God’s word. And write in my journal. Listen to music.
I’m so so so sorry for what you’re going through 💔😢
I'm feeling this way right now about my McKenzie. My heart feels like it's lifeless now. I'm not sure of my purpose right now because McKenzie is my world. 💔
Those days are so hard. Necessary to go through them, but they are actually the worst. I’ve had a stillbirth as well and I’ve been there. It’s so so so hard to get through those days. Sending love
Yes, it's so weird because people keep telling me that time helps to heal, but sometimes I just feel like it's day 1 all over again. Sometimes it's really hard to stay positive.
Months 6-9 were really really bad for me. I’m a week away for a year and just now starting to maybe feel like I can survive through it. Hang tight momma
I know how you feel, because my cousin told me that her mom had a baby girl Kimberly but she was a stillborn in 2 days that she couldn’t breathe and she turned purple that my whole family was heartbroken but the only one who is still sad about my cousin’s death is my aunt that she only grounds her sons because she has another daughter who is the only daughter my aunt has left so I need help to make my aunt happy.
My friend lost her baby on the day of her own birthday..the cord was wrapped around her sons neck did u ever know the reason as to why you lost your son?
Girly my prayers go out to you and your husband...
Happy Mother’s Day! 💐
I am so sorry for your lost. While I didnt go through a still birth. I did lose a baby due too a late term misscarriage. I was 18 weeks. It has been 2 years ans three months since I lost my Angel. These moments of sadness happen. They are normal. You will be fine for awhile and then all the sudden out of nowhere you are crying. It happens less and less as you get better at coping with your lost.
You are hurting so much god well bless you again with another precious baby 👶 🍼 so sorry
I’m so sorry for your loss😢but why his heart stop beating ? What exactly happened ?
You are helping other mothers have a dia bendecido mi nina
You are so brave... ❤
Currently going through this 😢💔
Such a beautiful peaceful place
Sry for your loss 💔😢
Im so sorry mama!
So brave 💗
I'm sorry, but maybe you should go to counseling..you need to be happy💜😥
Would you try having a baby again ?
This is exactly how I feel right now.. ): I lost my baby boy Isaac February 22nd 2021
Same here..
I lost my baby Bella at 39 weeks💔
Last feb 21,2021..
My heart is completely broken into million pieces.
I’m so sorry for your loss ♥️
❤️
I love you so much ❤️
I wish I could reach out and hug you. I'm so very sorry.
He is always your son
❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️
If this is not enough to know that God doesn´t exist l don´t now what it is. Life is a f.. lottery , you have to focus in your emotions right now, you and only you knows how difficult this sh.. is.
You will be able to have more children's you can keep Braxtons memory alive but is not healthy for you to stay like think about your husband's feelings because hes suffering as much as you do The Lord JESUSCRIST will give you straight to give going think about it your LIFE is Not over♥️
As a mother of a still birth child, we will have another children Yes, but it will NEVER be the one we lost. I know you mean it good but this kind of comments hurts more than you think. Life is not over, but for us it feels that way when we loose our baby.