1. Positivity - stay positive instead of thinking of the negative person 2. Values - get clear about the values that brought you together in the first place 3. Humility - the willingness to change, it's not about who's right but about what's right 4. Forgiveness - your willingness to allow others to change 5. Respect - respect people because you are a respectful person 6. Love - choose love; every interaction is either in love or hate, you get to choose 7. Compassion - it's like love but it adds kindness to the mix 8. Work - be ready for the hard work that it takes 9.Wholesome recreation - have some fun, elevate your own mood
There are several things for making improvements in your partnership Try to talk more Cooperate with each other more Try to give and take more (I read these and the reasons they work from Mirykal Marriage Plan website )
here's a few things for making improvements in your marriage Try to talk more Cooperate with each other more Try to give and take more (I learned these and why they work from Pavs partner pundit website )
#4, I can't even truly begin to explain how this truth, forgiveness, has set me free in my heart and mind especially towards myself. I didn't want to forgive myself for the things I've done to my life and others and it kept me in a perpetual cycle of misery, despair, regret, guilt, shame, condemnation, self sabotage and self hatred. I didn't want to "give up the demand towards myself for a better past and I didn't want to let go of holding myself hostage for the things I've done in my past." I was mad and bitter against myself and to my own hurt and detriment. But I see that the only way I can move on with my life is to just forgive myself and let me go so I can redirect my focus from what was to what it can be if I work towards a better future. And the real truth is, if I can't fully forgive myself then I can't expect to forgive someone else. So I really needed this. My heart was so heavy for so long but I feel like now I can see the light.
"This is about where people turn off the the video..." 😂 So unfortunate because this realization that you can only control YOU is sooo freeing! Enlightening, really. I've noticed my taking this approach has not just helped me let go of some issues, but my husband can't react how he normally might have because I won't participate in arguments how I used to (for the most part). We're both calmer and we are more often approaching problems with a mindset to solve them as best as possible rather than our old goal of persuading the other to "do the right thing" or "do the thing right". Keeping up with the normal daily considerations, such as making his coffee for him in the morning or offering to take the kids out every so often so he can have a break, also help him see me as a team member rather than an opponent, I feel. (Best part is, he has NO IDEA we're in counseling.) Thanks for this video and all the others, Dr. Paul!
@@daylilopez6350 I just meant that he has nothing to react to because I'm no longer feeding the negativity. No longer is my husband experiencing me trying to convince him that he is wrong. Now, it was really hard to start this process. Like REALLY hard. And I felt rather self-righteous for a while as I started to get it. But some of the hardest things are often the most rewarding and this was one of them. And yes, as you and Dr Paul both said, it WOULD be easier if my husband and I were able to agree on the division of labour or the style of parenting but obviously we disagree so strongly that we're no longer able to consider the other person's opinion as valuable enough and thus further discussion at this point is not helpful. We want the same thing but don't agree on how it's to be obtained. So I changed my midset, and again- so liberating to only have to work on ME. All those hacks Dr Paul discussed go along well with consciously creating one's own future by believing one will have it (and more importantly FEELING emotions one wants to have one's future filled with). My problems will forever change, and there's another stubborn, frustrating person or situtaion just around the corner. If I keep my heart and mind set on the wonderful possibilities of that wonderful future, I know I will make decisions that get me there. If I focus on every awful outcome that my husband's behaviour could levy on my life then I'm living in Fear and we should all know by now that that only creates more suffering. Change how you think and you change how you feel. But you have to REALLY BELIEVE IT. No doubting. No fear. I hope I was able to address your concern.
Dr, Jenkins, you saved my marriage. I used the 95:5; writting down 25 things i was greatful for; which led me to believe in my marriage; and practice possitive conflict resolution strategies. I struggled but hubby noticed and he started changing too. He just looked happier in general and was kind to me and actully apologieze when he was not. He is like a different person, better sweeter than when we firts met. I'm so happy with the results I gifted a copy of your book to a close friend that will be getting marry soon.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Katie Anderson, I hope you can figure this out. If you need to work with a coach you can find out what services we offer by making an appointment with one of our guides at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Well...honestly there is no limit to suffering. Even great religious texts say life is suffering. Pick up your suffering and bear it. If the one you want comes along with you your life is still your life. Be the best you for you. I'm in your corner and on your side.....human to human. We got this.
I feel like I've done each and every one of these for years so now what???? His defense is that he's not hitting me or abusing me in any way so I have no reason to leave but I'm unhappy and I've been clearly communicating to him that I have needs that he is not meeting. But, he doesn't hit me so here I am feeling trapped and surrendering into the role I'm assuming he's expecting of me: simply a mother and a housekeeper. That's it. If ignorance is bliss, I welcome it now. I still fold and put away his clothes, I still fix his coffee, I still make sure his shower is clean and his things are ready for work but now just with no emotion and I've told him this already that I'm gonna continue trying but now without trying. It just hurts too much. Cheers to you all going through the same thing.
Isela Mazelle, I hope you can find a counselor to help you sort this out. He doesn't deserve anything because he isn't hitting you. You are worth so much more.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
You know…. You’re silly, you’re goofy, and I’m sure it may turn people off, at times, but it honestly makes my wife and I laugh and smile. We love it. Don’t ever change, Dr. Jenkins! Thank you for your honestly, and always staying true to yourself. It’s very inspiring and encouraging. Much love! 🤟
Agreed. You can really insert anything into that line. Kindness begins with me. Forgiveness begins with me. Empathy begins with me. You are so right, Chiara G.
Thank you very much for this video !!! It can be useful not only for the marriage but for relationships with other people like family member or close relative Sometime you go to the line where you should choose and suddenly realise that the choice is love and you don’t want to loose them and there is something you can do and there is hope …. And it worth to try …
Yeah, the person who invests genuinely gets burnt out and hurt first .And then the other spouse who only invests 5% asks, "why the spouse who is invests genuinely is slacking."? And then the spouse who only invests 5% into the marriage makes it look like they're the one who invested genuinely and aren't the problem in the marriage.
Sir can you please make vedio on how to Handle Agressive partners how to be positive while handling them.your vedio really inspire me to be a Good Human
Could not disagree more one person can save a marriage Been trying this for over 5 years now and you need to have your spouse give some kind of effort Until that happens nothing will change
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for your video I have been following your steps for the last 3 days and I feel I'm in love with my husband all over again instead of telling him to change I'm focusing on what I can do better and its already made a big difference we were going to separate due to the constant argument but I feel hope I can't thank you enough may God always keep you blessed.
She told me she will go to couples counseling for the boys. But she doesn't know if she can love me like a husband only as a father to her kids but she said she will try but no promises. I don't know what to do.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV today I talked to a therapist about how feel and other things. It was the first time talking to someone that actually wanted to help me with my state of mind. I felt scared at first thinking I would be told I'm broken. But after talking to him I feel a bit better a bit more at peace.
Doctor Paul what if she says she is in love with her lover (and keeps seeing him and searches for a new apartment) and the ratio thus changes to 0 - 100? each time she leaves to spend time with him or to visit a new potential home for her and our children, most of the hacks (positivity, fun, hard work, kindness, forgiveness...) seem to go in vain and yet it makes her feel good to see me sad about it. should I rather focus on letting her go and get ready to live in separation and shared custody? thanks
Not really but at least It brings your stress level down to help you calmly figure out how long you can put up with their toxicity. It’s so challenging being in a relationship with a covert narcissist😢
Dr Paul your channel is so helpful in many ways. I have a question for you...how do you work with cheating/infidelity when your partner is the one who cheated and remains ambivalent? We have discussed “trying to work on things” but it’s so difficult. Please help?
Valerie Tabalno, It is hard to create trust when someone is ambivalent about cheating. You may need some one on one coaching. You can see what we offer by scheduling a no-cost appointment at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Dr. Paul Can i still save my marriage even my husband doesn't want to work with. His always going out with his friends his can't stand to stay at home anymore he said he doesn't love me anymore 😭 but still care about me and my to my kids i know why he become like that because of my attitude he tried to fix this marriage before now his already tired. Now that I'm loosing him now i realize how i love him and try to love me again. What i need to do to love me again ?
Jhoanna Estrada, we can control another person. They can see that we are making an effort and willing to work. Sometimes that is enough for the other person to agree to try, to talk, to communicate, I wish you luck.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
I got married 2 and a half months back and she’s 5 months pregnant, now she just wants to be friends with me and says we are gonna be co parents and friends and she doesn’t love me anymore. I wanna revive our marriage at any cost and want her back. Please help!!
Sandeep .Chakraborty, check out some of the other videos on our playlist and contact the office if you want to do some coaching. www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Great God-given principles-positivity, creativity, forgiveness n fun.Thank you do much. Possible, very possible, s'times hard to to n to be, but still very very possible-in time, in His time.There's a song I know that goes"In His time, in His time, He makes all things beautiful, in His time,...... may each song I have to sing, be to You a lovely thing, in Your time."
100% I came close to saving our marriage only to succumb to my wife’s terrible abuse 3 years after her affair. I just imploded and unloaded on her behavior, it took about 3 weeks she left with our daughter. The 3 years she was home I was doing everything in this video - but I just gave up too late. I exploded my anger and resentment. Before that I tested her either love replied to her mean messages calmly and with love. I was really proud of myself. But the last 4 months it all it took for me to nosedive us. I don’t see any hope now after she has left
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
My therapist said "why do you keep hitting your head against a brick wall? " (Two children! That's why.) 15 years now divorced after 20 years together. I like this 95% approach better...
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
My grandpa always tell me 100 100 because we ain’t always gonna come with 50 so we gotta cover for our partner or them for us when we or they are not all there. Cuz we are all human and we all go through things. God bless your marriage ❤️❤️❤️🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
My husband and I have been together for 5 years Close to 2 years being married We have 4 children 3 of them is his the oldest one that I have is a previous relationship and he hasn't been in her life at all We've been having a lot of Ups and Downs more Downs than ups How can you fix The marriage with 4 children and reconnect I need to know because I would really appreciate to save my marriage it's been not easy the past few years
Veronica Seegmiller, I believe it can happen. Having both people involved and wanting to have a good relationship leads to success faster. Get in touch with one of our coaches, www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Do you have any recommendations about this topic. Husband and wife pretty much playing the break up and make role many times and every time it gets hectic and we finally let all these emotions out. We start talking about what we will do to fix each other and say we’re gonna do this and that but truthfully neither one of us actually tried to change. What would you recommend to get past that and have both partners get to actually trying to bring back that old love that once sparked their relationship
Vextn, I would get a third party to help you learn the skills you need to break the cycle and hold you accountable for the change. Find someone who stretches you, the process should not be comfortable.
my wife said she loves me but it doesn't feel the same, she wants a divorce .how can i get her to reconnect? she said she is done. she doesn't want to try to work on the marriage .23 years together
inserter400, you don't really have control over her. I would begin working on yourself and hope that she can see the changes and be interested enough to join in. Either way, you can only control yourself and begin now to make positive changes.
This is how people begin feeling more and more important. Just keep pouring into an empty cup eventually you people NEED to start being honest about some people who are forcing ppl to carry a marriage in a 95%-5% ratio are users who don’t plan on loving anyone or they aren’t empathetic as well as unable to absorb. This is dangerous advice that doesn’t work AT ALL.
It helps us to see if the other person is going to decide to put anything into the marriage. They may not, this just gives us more information and we can decide what to do next based upon that.
I've been doing 90% for years. I guess I should increase it an extra 5% then it'll get better. I suspect that if we are at this level the chances of success are minimal. Sorry, broke rule #1 there goes the positivity.
Steel Ridge, we do this to try to get the other partner to engage, it is tough when only one person is trying. You get to decide if there will be any give from the other person and if you are o.k. with that.
Dinma Obiekwe, I'm sorry to hear you are frustrated. I hope the video helped. We have more on our "How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged" playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg.html. Thanks for watching.
We do all we can until there is nothing else to do, ashmara Brader. Hopefully the other person will realize the marriage is worth saving, but sadly, sometimes that does not happen.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Oh my, now I feel embarassed 😅 Hey, I'll take this chance to thank Dr. Paul for all the amazing advices. I've subscribed and been watching them all since 3 months ago! I started practicing the Considerations instead of Affirmations that Dr. Paul suggested a couple of videos ago. Love your work!💎
It really does take two people to make a marriage work, AmykinsVlogz. We are just trying to hang in there until the other person sees the value in trying again. It has happened. Thank you for commenting.
It will not work on marriage when you have a cheating husband.. my husband is cheated on me 4x , and he chooses his mistress over our family... that's why I give him what he wants, he wants his freedom to be with his mistress and they are together and building their own family...
My wife of 5 years filled for divorce I cheated the entire marriage and want to work on it but she’s beyond done. She says she’s in love with another man and I don’t know how to save this. I was not a good husband and now I’m being served and don’t know if I should fight or flight.Its messy and ugly PLEASE HELP!!!
Fedelis Tucker, thank you for being at Live on Purpose TV. Please remember that you can only control yourself, not your wife or anyone else's choices. Take some time and think about why you want to stay with your wife. Then write a letter or email expressing a sincere apology and tell her why you want to remain married to her. Ask if she is willing to have some marriage counseling with you. Right now we have a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches available. If you would like to take advantage of that, please go here to schedule: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
But if I do it all by my own...and receive nothing good back, than what's the point in having a relationship at all? I might find out oh, I'm good on my own after this 😂
Myra Myra, you might find you are better off on your own. It is important before a relationship ends to know that we did what we could to improve and save the relationship.
I do like your videos Dr. I wonder if it is actually worth saving a marriage if only one is trying. I might as well become his mommy by doing an extra 5%. :( No offense.
I think I know what you are saying. We do want the other person to contribute more but it is a way to keep the marriage going until the other person trusts again and realizes they want the marriage to continue. Sometimes we need to let go but usually we want to know we did everything we could, S Lee. Thank you for commenting.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you so much for replying Dr. Appreciated! I'd love to be in a marriage where I only contribute 5% and be OK about it. Who doesn't. And there are many who does the 5% thinks that's the way it is and not letting go of the marriage when the 95% gets tired and disappointed. When the 5% are constantly in their 5% zone, is it time for the 95% to stop and break up?
I like the idea, but I honestly think gender divides become very apparent in these situations, the man usually will be more logical and generally the woman deals with all of this emotionally. I think being on either side of it, but us being the 95% have to take that into consideration too. If you run a relationship logically, like a boot camp it wont always work, and vise versa, there has to be an understanding of the desires and needs of the other person.
That is a hard question to answer, S Lee. Most people want to feel as though they did everything they could before ending a marriage and this is a way that they can do that. Hopefully they save the marriage.
This is where my head is at also. I have been the only person who has done a dam thing to change, adjust, improve, go along with whatever he is asking of me but I'm getting angry and feel like I'm just the "help" he hardly looks at me so actual physical touch/kissing, compliments, I love you's and thank yous are non existent. I'm struggling to wrap my head around the fact that he fell in love or loves another woman who flat out wanted to be a side chick and manipulated him and his thoughts and since then he hasnt looked at me in the way he once did and Ive heard how I'm not attractive to him because of my body changes from weight loss. I am fighting and trying so hard for something that I'm not even sure is remembered and doesn't seem to be wanted at all. So why not just get the mind set that I feel like I don't have any help ever so what's the difference between single and "married"
What does he mean when he says, “You’re going to have to work.”? 95% of what exactly? Like just being a genuine kiss ass and servant to her needs? I’m so lost and not just on this video.
Work in words and actions that show you want to relationship to thrive. You will see if the other person is interested or not and can make your next decisions based on the information you receive.
Wife does not value the marraige.sadly we have 4 kids having being married for 13 years ... she is narcissist.. Divorce is very very expensive, along with the baggage..so decide and act ..
1. Positivity - stay positive instead of thinking of the negative person
2. Values - get clear about the values that brought you together in the first place
3. Humility - the willingness to change, it's not about who's right but about what's right
4. Forgiveness - your willingness to allow others to change
5. Respect - respect people because you are a respectful person
6. Love - choose love; every interaction is either in love or hate, you get to choose
7. Compassion - it's like love but it adds kindness to the mix
8. Work - be ready for the hard work that it takes
9.Wholesome recreation - have some fun, elevate your own mood
Coach Eve, thanks.
Is posibile for non cresthin narcissist husband who left God to be changed with those??
“Forgiveness is giving up your demand for a better past”
That’s so beautiful!
Yep, let's move forward and not look back, Jennifer M. Thank you for watching.
There are several things for making improvements in your partnership
Try to talk more
Cooperate with each other more
Try to give and take more
(I read these and the reasons they work from Mirykal Marriage Plan website )
here's a few things for making improvements in your marriage
Try to talk more
Cooperate with each other more
Try to give and take more
(I learned these and why they work from Pavs partner pundit website )
@@abenaabeasi1745 PLUS... forgiveness is mainly forgiving yourself and not holding yourself hostage.
th-cam.com/video/rZsMJJ74X38/w-d-xo.html
#4, I can't even truly begin to explain how this truth, forgiveness, has set me free in my heart and mind especially towards myself. I didn't want to forgive myself for the things I've done to my life and others and it kept me in a perpetual cycle of misery, despair, regret, guilt, shame, condemnation, self sabotage and self hatred. I didn't want to "give up the demand towards myself for a better past and I didn't want to let go of holding myself hostage for the things I've done in my past." I was mad and bitter against myself and to my own hurt and detriment. But I see that the only way I can move on with my life is to just forgive myself and let me go so I can redirect my focus from what was to what it can be if I work towards a better future. And the real truth is, if I can't fully forgive myself then I can't expect to forgive someone else. So I really needed this. My heart was so heavy for so long but I feel like now I can see the light.
yup, sounds like a turning point for you where you can make something better everyday. Thank you for sharing.
You are so right, Dr. Paul!
I can only control how I am going to react, never how others act
A truth that when really learned frees us.
Great video!! I just love your expressions...you get the point across while making me laugh! You are very helpful, as always...thank you Dr. Paul!!
Thank you, Patricia Schexnaildre. Glad you found the video helpful.
"This is about where people turn off the the video..." 😂
So unfortunate because this realization that you can only control YOU is sooo freeing! Enlightening, really.
I've noticed my taking this approach has not just helped me let go of some issues, but my husband can't react how he normally might have because I won't participate in arguments how I used to (for the most part). We're both calmer and we are more often approaching problems with a mindset to solve them as best as possible rather than our old goal of persuading the other to "do the right thing" or "do the thing right". Keeping up with the normal daily considerations, such as making his coffee for him in the morning or offering to take the kids out every so often so he can have a break, also help him see me as a team member rather than an opponent, I feel.
(Best part is, he has NO IDEA we're in counseling.) Thanks for this video and all the others, Dr. Paul!
spacecoyote55, you get it! The change won't happen overnight but will happen subtly. Keep up the positivity.
Don't that bother u if he can't react bc ur trying then that's just u trying not him ?
Men are very tricky
@@daylilopez6350 I just meant that he has nothing to react to because I'm no longer feeding the negativity. No longer is my husband experiencing me trying to convince him that he is wrong. Now, it was really hard to start this process. Like REALLY hard. And I felt rather self-righteous for a while as I started to get it. But some of the hardest things are often the most rewarding and this was one of them.
And yes, as you and Dr Paul both said, it WOULD be easier if my husband and I were able to agree on the division of labour or the style of parenting but obviously we disagree so strongly that we're no longer able to consider the other person's opinion as valuable enough and thus further discussion at this point is not helpful. We want the same thing but don't agree on how it's to be obtained. So I changed my midset, and again- so liberating to only have to work on ME.
All those hacks Dr Paul discussed go along well with consciously creating one's own future by believing one will have it (and more importantly FEELING emotions one wants to have one's future filled with).
My problems will forever change, and there's another stubborn, frustrating person or situtaion just around the corner. If I keep my heart and mind set on the wonderful possibilities of that wonderful future, I know I will make decisions that get me there. If I focus on every awful outcome that my husband's behaviour could levy on my life then I'm living in Fear and we should all know by now that that only creates more suffering. Change how you think and you change how you feel. But you have to REALLY BELIEVE IT. No doubting. No fear.
I hope I was able to address your concern.
What you mean by normal daily considerstionsv
Dr, Jenkins, you saved my marriage. I used the 95:5; writting down 25 things i was greatful for; which led me to believe in my marriage; and practice possitive conflict resolution strategies. I struggled but hubby noticed and he started changing too. He just looked happier in general and was kind to me and actully apologieze when he was not. He is like a different person, better sweeter than when we firts met.
I'm so happy with the results I gifted a copy of your book to a close friend that will be getting marry soon.
Thanks for letting me and others know, Julie. It is worth trying and I am glad your husband responded.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
boy.. its tough and im so tired, so hurt!!! theres a limit of my suffering
Katie Anderson, I hope you can figure this out. If you need to work with a coach you can find out what services we offer by making an appointment with one of our guides at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Text him via WhatsApp❤❤❤
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Almost name twin! Hope things are going better for you!
Well...honestly there is no limit to suffering. Even great religious texts say life is suffering. Pick up your suffering and bear it. If the one you want comes along with you your life is still your life. Be the best you for you. I'm in your corner and on your side.....human to human. We got this.
I feel like I've done each and every one of these for years so now what???? His defense is that he's not hitting me or abusing me in any way so I have no reason to leave but I'm unhappy and I've been clearly communicating to him that I have needs that he is not meeting. But, he doesn't hit me so here I am feeling trapped and surrendering into the role I'm assuming he's expecting of me: simply a mother and a housekeeper. That's it. If ignorance is bliss, I welcome it now. I still fold and put away his clothes, I still fix his coffee, I still make sure his shower is clean and his things are ready for work but now just with no emotion and I've told him this already that I'm gonna continue trying but now without trying. It just hurts too much. Cheers to you all going through the same thing.
Isela Mazelle, I hope you can find a counselor to help you sort this out. He doesn't deserve anything because he isn't hitting you. You are worth so much more.
Sorry for being nosey but did he finally change? If so, what did he do?
Hope you are ok.
Great timing per usual. Keep the videos coming. You have great insight and a beautiful execution of explaining situations.
Thank you Michelle Smith. Honored to be on your team.
I love number 9 have fun even if you have to do it by yourself !!!
Christine Razo, live on purpose.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
You know…. You’re silly, you’re goofy, and I’m sure it may turn people off, at times, but it honestly makes my wife and I laugh and smile. We love it. Don’t ever change, Dr. Jenkins! Thank you for your honestly, and always staying true to yourself. It’s very inspiring and encouraging. Much love! 🤟
Thank you, Baldman5k. Guess I can't change, because this is how I am. Vicki has to put up with a lot! She is great.
Thank you Dr Paul, great timing really ...I was about to give up!! But you gave me a light ...
Honored to be on your team.
Everything begins with you (me) 😁 Be the change you want to see in the world.
Agreed. You can really insert anything into that line. Kindness begins with me. Forgiveness begins with me. Empathy begins with me. You are so right, Chiara G.
I love listening to this guy! He's so relatable and funny
Honored to be on your team.
Thank you very much for this video !!! It can be useful not only for the marriage but for relationships with other people like family member or close relative Sometime you go to the line where you should choose and suddenly realise that the choice is love and you don’t want to loose them and there is something you can do and there is hope …. And it worth to try …
Thank you for recognizing there are principles in here that can be widely applied.
4. Forgiveness - giving up your demand for a better past. Whoa! 👍 ☑️ thank 🙇 🌺 you.
You’re welcome 😊
Hello and thank you for this great sharing. I appreciate the
My pleasure.
I love your expressions. You really remind me of my eldest son, he's ten. He's just as expressive:) Love your video's !
Maybe he will have his own TH-cam channel someday, Alberta de la Guerre. Thanks for commenting, you made my day.
Yeah, the person who invests genuinely gets burnt out and hurt first .And then the other spouse who only invests 5% asks, "why the spouse who is invests genuinely is slacking."? And then the spouse who only invests 5% into the marriage makes it look like they're the one who invested genuinely and aren't the problem in the marriage.
I agree one is trying the other isn't.😞
Hopefully we can get the other person interested in trying again by them seeing out effort.
Totally agree it's about humility vulnerability and faith
Yes, Mo on the Go. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV!
Text him via WhatsApp❤❤❤
+ 2 3 4 8 0 7 3 4 0 0 6 9 4❤❤❤
Thank you so much! Im going to take these tips to heart and have continued faith that it’ll help my marriage🤍
You got this!
Thanks Dr Paul you’re doing a great job
You’re so gifted
Thank you kindly, Jorge Casas.
You are doing here some serious work for God Sir🥰❤️ Thank you!❤️
So nice of you, have a great day.
Sir can you please make vedio on how to Handle Agressive partners how to be positive while handling them.your vedio really inspire me to be a Good Human
Gloria Ovung, I will add your idea to the topic list. Thank you for watching, honored to be on your team.
One blame another, no one take attitude... well that's why many aspects of our lives aren't working. Thank God there are still humans like him.
BGL white, honored to have you at the channel.
Could not disagree more one person can save a marriage
Been trying this for over 5 years now and you need to have your spouse give some kind of effort
Until that happens nothing will change
David Gordon, I hear you. Hopefully the other person sees what you are doing and decides that it is worth a try. You have hung in there a long time.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Amen..preach the word brother..loved the video..great help
Glad it was helpful!
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What an amazing job man!!!
I love your work inhere!
Thank you, Petru Papuc. Honored to be on your team.
I love his expressions and his down to earth
Ashley Bibi, honored to be on your team.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for your video I have been following your steps for the last 3 days and I feel I'm in love with my husband all over again instead of telling him to change I'm focusing on what I can do better and its already made a big difference we were going to separate due to the constant argument but I feel hope I can't thank you enough may God always keep you blessed.
Each day is different and has its own challenges due to a partner who changes depending on alcohol intake.
Tricia Simon, that is a tough one. I don't do business with people who are under the influence.
She told me she will go to couples counseling for the boys. But she doesn't know if she can love me like a husband only as a father to her kids but she said she will try but no promises. I don't know what to do.
She is trying, now is time to show her how you have been working on yourself.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV today I talked to a therapist about how feel and other things. It was the first time talking to someone that actually wanted to help me with my state of mind. I felt scared at first thinking I would be told I'm broken. But after talking to him I feel a bit better a bit more at peace.
So thankful for this! Presented so eloquently
21090483, thank you!
Doctor Paul what if she says she is in love with her lover (and keeps seeing him and searches for a new apartment) and the ratio thus changes to 0 - 100? each time she leaves to spend time with him or to visit a new potential home for her and our children, most of the hacks (positivity, fun, hard work, kindness, forgiveness...) seem to go in vain and yet it makes her feel good to see me sad about it. should I rather focus on letting her go and get ready to live in separation and shared custody? thanks
Sounds like she has made up her mind. You should probably seek legal counsel.
Sounds like she has made up her mind. You should probably seek legal counsel.
Am I going to apply this 95:5 today.
I wish you well.
Great video as always! Thank you!!🤗
You are welcome, patimascarenhas. Honored to be on your team.
Does this work with a covert narcissist? I've been getting the silent treatment for 2 months.
Wondering this as well....
You can always give it a try, Darloonie. That is all we can ever do.
Not really but at least It brings your stress level down to help you calmly figure out how long you can put up with their toxicity. It’s so challenging being in a relationship with a covert narcissist😢
No. It does not work on a narcissist. Been married to one for 43 years. But if you feel better about yourself, he can not hurt you as bad.
Dr Paul your channel is so helpful in many ways. I have a question for you...how do you work with cheating/infidelity when your partner is the one who cheated and remains ambivalent? We have discussed “trying to work on things” but it’s so difficult. Please help?
Valerie Tabalno, It is hard to create trust when someone is ambivalent about cheating. You may need some one on one coaching. You can see what we offer by scheduling a no-cost appointment at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
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Can you do all this if your wife is pregnant and she chose to leave? Thank you. Love this channel. NZ❤God bless
A For Jesus, I don't know if it will work for you, but it sounds like it is worth a try if you are expecting a child.
@Olaide Temiloluwa careful who send it to..did they ask for money?? Thanks again for saying..🙏🤝
Love the points! Great video!
Thanks so much!
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Amazing video and actual advice and help.
Glad it was helpful!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Respect
Values
Forgiveness
Positivity
Cooking like a star, that is a marriage that will thrive.
Dr. Paul
Can i still save my marriage even my husband doesn't want to work with. His always going out with his friends his can't stand to stay at home anymore he said he doesn't love me anymore 😭 but still care about me and my to my kids i know why he become like that because of my attitude he tried to fix this marriage before now his already tired. Now that I'm loosing him now i realize how i love him and try to love me again. What i need to do to love me again ?
Jhoanna Estrada, we can control another person. They can see that we are making an effort and willing to work. Sometimes that is enough for the other person to agree to try, to talk, to communicate, I wish you luck.
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get in touch with baba olu Ogaga returns my wife to me in three days ..... whatsapp Him for help
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I wish I would have found this sooner. She's moving out on Monday or Tuesday. I don't know if this would work after she leavs
Sergio Sanchez, if you make changes and she sees that happening, it could make her decide to try again.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I am making changes. And she sees that. But I feel like it will be too late. But I'm not giving up
@@sergiosanchez7278 that good don't give up okay❤
@@sergiosanchez7278 text him via WhatsApp❤❤❤
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Portable positivity download link broken in description. If this is abailable, please reply with link.
LT, here you go, d2saw6je89goi1.cloudfront.net/uploads/digital_asset/file/595423/Pathological-Positivity-6X9-Print-Format-14-06-07-0513-pj.pdf
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Do I send her my list daily? Or is that only for my own mind? Cus I've already sent day one and two and planning on sending day three in the morning.
Travis Atkinson, it is for you only but if you want to share you can.
I got married 2 and a half months back and she’s 5 months pregnant, now she just wants to be friends with me and says we are gonna be co parents and friends and she doesn’t love me anymore. I wanna revive our marriage at any cost and want her back. Please help!!
Sandeep .Chakraborty, check out some of the other videos on our playlist and contact the office if you want to do some coaching. www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Hello
I recommend this man who helped me
Get back my husband in the bricks of divorce
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Great God-given principles-positivity, creativity, forgiveness n fun.Thank you do much. Possible, very possible, s'times hard to to n to be, but still very very possible-in time, in His time.There's a song I know that goes"In His time, in His time, He makes all things beautiful, in His time,...... may each song I have to sing, be to You a lovely thing, in Your time."
What a wonderful comment, Grace Bock. Glad to have you in the Live On Purpose Family.
Wow...for sure he will keep doing what his been doing .
I'm staying 🙇
Sonia Chetty, thank you for watching.
100% I came close to saving our marriage only to succumb to my wife’s terrible abuse 3 years after her affair. I just imploded and unloaded on her behavior, it took about 3 weeks she left with our daughter. The 3 years she was home I was doing everything in this video - but I just gave up too late. I exploded my anger and resentment. Before that I tested her either love replied to her mean messages calmly and with love. I was really proud of myself. But the last 4 months it all it took for me to nosedive us. I don’t see any hope now after she has left
Time to ask yourself how you want to live and what you want that to look like.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsapp...☝️☝️
Really nice 🙂
Thank you! 😊
Very interesting video
Thank you, Johaina BEN. I appreciate you watching the videos!
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My therapist said "why do you keep hitting your head against a brick wall? " (Two children! That's why.) 15 years now divorced after 20 years together. I like this 95% approach better...
7777bren, I am glad you are still there for your children. They need you.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I kept being told "children are adaptable..." No, children notice everything. They need both parents whenever possible.
So kind of you to reply. You give such great tips!@@LiveOnPurposeTV
My grandpa always tell me 100 100 because we ain’t always gonna come with 50 so we gotta cover for our partner or them for us when we or they are not all there. Cuz we are all human and we all go through things. God bless your marriage ❤️❤️❤️🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
So wise.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
@@victorifebuche4683what helped the most?
My husband and I have been together for 5 years Close to 2 years being married We have 4 children 3 of them is his the oldest one that I have is a previous relationship and he hasn't been in her life at all We've been having a lot of Ups and Downs more Downs than ups How can you fix The marriage with 4 children and reconnect I need to know because I would really appreciate to save my marriage it's been not easy the past few years
Veronica Seegmiller, I believe it can happen. Having both people involved and wanting to have a good relationship leads to success faster. Get in touch with one of our coaches, www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Hello dear Veronica, let me recommend you to someone who can help you fix your marriage.
He helped me fix mine too
Reach him on WhatsApp
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Dr Paul, is there some element of Dr James Dobson's "Love must b Tough" in the 95 v 5 percent strategy???
I am not really sure, Grace Bock. We might both be using the same principle. How it is put to use can differ. Thank you for watching.
Do you have any recommendations about this topic. Husband and wife pretty much playing the break up and make role many times and every time it gets hectic and we finally let all these emotions out. We start talking about what we will do to fix each other and say we’re gonna do this and that but truthfully neither one of us actually tried to change. What would you recommend to get past that and have both partners get to actually trying to bring back that old love that once sparked their relationship
Vextn, I would get a third party to help you learn the skills you need to break the cycle and hold you accountable for the change. Find someone who stretches you, the process should not be comfortable.
my wife said she loves me but it doesn't feel the same, she wants a divorce .how can i get her to reconnect? she said she is done. she doesn't want to try to work on the marriage .23 years together
inserter400, you don't really have control over her. I would begin working on yourself and hope that she can see the changes and be interested enough to join in. Either way, you can only control yourself and begin now to make positive changes.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV CHEERS , I AM DEALING WITH HER MIDLIFE CRISIS. NOT EASY BUT DONT WANT TO GIVE UP ON OUR RELATIONSHIP .
@@inserter400 Love your attitude - keep it up!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV ITS NOT ATTITUDE ITS FOR THE LOVE OF A GOOD WOMAN BUT THANK YOU.
inserter400
Hello
This is how people begin feeling more and more important. Just keep pouring into an empty cup eventually you people NEED to start being honest about some people who are forcing ppl to carry a marriage in a 95%-5% ratio are users who don’t plan on loving anyone or they aren’t empathetic as well as unable to absorb. This is dangerous advice that doesn’t work AT ALL.
It helps us to see if the other person is going to decide to put anything into the marriage. They may not, this just gives us more information and we can decide what to do next based upon that.
I am here and I am single because I am not sure how a real relationship goes.
sarah robinson, you might consider some coaching to get clear on where you want to go in your life.
I've been doing 90% for years. I guess I should increase it an extra 5% then it'll get better. I suspect that if we are at this level the chances of success are minimal. Sorry, broke rule #1 there goes the positivity.
Steel Ridge, we do this to try to get the other partner to engage, it is tough when only one person is trying. You get to decide if there will be any give from the other person and if you are o.k. with that.
Thank you 🙏
You are welcome, MagycArwen.
I know this will work.
Way to stay positive, Hello, Hannah. Thank you for watching the video.
Hello
Probably a good idea if you live with a faily normal person, But wouldn't this be extremely dangerous if you happen to be married to a Narcissist?
It could be. Only you know the history and the person so decide wisely and safely.
It's really frustrating
Dinma Obiekwe, I'm sorry to hear you are frustrated. I hope the video helped. We have more on our "How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged" playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg.html. Thanks for watching.
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thank u😘
You are welcome, glad you enjoyed the video, ritz25 winters.
Well how about 100%?
Even better.
Doesn’t work with persons who are egoistic. My bf would do even less for the relationship.
We do all we can until there is nothing else to do, ashmara Brader. Hopefully the other person will realize the marriage is worth saving, but sadly, sometimes that does not happen.
Live On Purpose TV does it work with people who are somewhat autistic?
Wow that shirt...!
Thank for watching, Flavio Ferreira.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Oh my, now I feel embarassed 😅 Hey, I'll take this chance to thank Dr. Paul for all the amazing advices. I've subscribed and been watching them all since 3 months ago! I started practicing the Considerations instead of Affirmations that Dr. Paul suggested a couple of videos ago.
Love your work!💎
Good luck I'm trying and nothing
Keep trying and you will know when you have given your all, nectarios lafharis.
If anyone is in a marriage where only ONE person gives a crap, it's time to be single. Or just accept it's all a sham.
It really does take two people to make a marriage work, AmykinsVlogz. We are just trying to hang in there until the other person sees the value in trying again. It has happened. Thank you for commenting.
Not effective
Jovan Ala, did you try? It is difficult depending on where the marriage is.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yah i tried it
@@jovanala4463 Hello, if you need real and sure solutions, I can refer you to the man that worked for me
@@jovanala4463 get in touch with baba olu Ogaga returns my wife to me in three days ..... whatsapp Him for help
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i’m filing for divorce and i’m the one watching this video 😢 my marriage is so lonely
It will not work on marriage when you have a cheating husband.. my husband is cheated on me 4x , and he chooses his mistress over our family... that's why I give him what he wants, he wants his freedom to be with his mistress and they are together and building their own family...
Jocelyn, I am glad you have been able to move on. I hope you find someone better or the life you want.
My wife of 5 years filled for divorce I cheated the entire marriage and want to work on it but she’s beyond done. She says she’s in love with another man and I don’t know how to save this. I was not a good husband and now I’m being served and don’t know if I should fight or flight.Its messy and ugly PLEASE HELP!!!
Fedelis Tucker, thank you for being at Live on Purpose TV. Please remember that you can only control yourself, not your wife or anyone else's choices. Take some time and think about why you want to stay with your wife. Then write a letter or email expressing a sincere apology and tell her why you want to remain married to her. Ask if she is willing to have some marriage counseling with you. Right now we have a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches available. If you would like to take advantage of that, please go here to schedule: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
I can recommend you to a powerful man who help me get back me husband
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get in touch with baba olu Ogaga returns my wife to me in three days ..... whatsapp Him for help
+.2.3.4.9.0.6.9.3.1.3.9=5=5.
there is no reason for two people to get married
That is one viewpoint.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsapp...☝️☝️
But if I do it all by my own...and receive nothing good back, than what's the point in having a relationship at all? I might find out oh, I'm good on my own after this 😂
Myra Myra, you might find you are better off on your own. It is important before a relationship ends to know that we did what we could to improve and save the relationship.
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He's trying to sell you something.
I do like your videos Dr. I wonder if it is actually worth saving a marriage if only one is trying. I might as well become his mommy by doing an extra 5%. :(
No offense.
I think I know what you are saying. We do want the other person to contribute more but it is a way to keep the marriage going until the other person trusts again and realizes they want the marriage to continue. Sometimes we need to let go but usually we want to know we did everything we could, S Lee. Thank you for commenting.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you so much for replying Dr. Appreciated! I'd love to be in a marriage where I only contribute 5% and be OK about it. Who doesn't. And there are many who does the 5% thinks that's the way it is and not letting go of the marriage when the 95% gets tired and disappointed. When the 5% are constantly in their 5% zone, is it time for the 95% to stop and break up?
I like the idea, but I honestly think gender divides become very apparent in these situations, the man usually will be more logical and generally the woman deals with all of this emotionally. I think being on either side of it, but us being the 95% have to take that into consideration too. If you run a relationship logically, like a boot camp it wont always work, and vise versa, there has to be an understanding of the desires and needs of the other person.
That is a hard question to answer, S Lee. Most people want to feel as though they did everything they could before ending a marriage and this is a way that they can do that. Hopefully they save the marriage.
This is where my head is at also. I have been the only person who has done a dam thing to change, adjust, improve, go along with whatever he is asking of me but I'm getting angry and feel like I'm just the "help" he hardly looks at me so actual physical touch/kissing, compliments, I love you's and thank yous are non existent. I'm struggling to wrap my head around the fact that he fell in love or loves another woman who flat out wanted to be a side chick and manipulated him and his thoughts and since then he hasnt looked at me in the way he once did and Ive heard how I'm not attractive to him because of my body changes from weight loss. I am fighting and trying so hard for something that I'm not even sure is remembered and doesn't seem to be wanted at all. So why not just get the mind set that I feel like I don't have any help ever so what's the difference between single and "married"
This is good but not very helpful if only one person is acting this out.
I wouldn’t say the title of the video & the content accurately line up.
We want to try to get the other person interested in the marriage and if they don't, that tells us a lot.
He literally said 95:5.
What does he mean when he says, “You’re going to have to work.”? 95% of what exactly?
Like just being a genuine kiss ass and servant to her needs? I’m so lost and not just on this video.
Work in words and actions that show you want to relationship to thrive. You will see if the other person is interested or not and can make your next decisions based on the information you receive.
Do you think that marriage can be saved when your spouse is an alcoholic and he is in denial?
It helps when both partners are working on the relationship. You get to decide what you want to do.
tricky😂😁😂
Yes, yes, and yes, Val Nicols. Hope better days are ahead for you.
Wife does not value the marraige.sadly we have 4 kids having being married for 13 years ... she is narcissist.. Divorce is very very expensive, along with the baggage..so decide and act ..
O, I feel so bad for you. Remember to keep the kids first, always.
Hello dear O. Let me recommend you to someone who can help you solve your marriage issues.
Reach him on WhatsApp
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how to get a divorce after bearing the marriage load for too long, and do it… all alone lol
harris shob, that is an option if you see it as one.
Hey talks like he has taken a red pill at a peer counseling meeting
?
💩💩💩💩💩💩💩
What a load of B.S