Destiny Opens Up About His Divorce
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
- Video From ►”Destiny on Debating Ben Shapiro, Toxic Wokeism and Getting Divorced”
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Defending open relationships after your wife left you for her side man is a insane level of disconnect.
He had a "I'm just so much smarter and enlightened and other people just don't get open relationships" attitude and I was curious if this would be a reality check for him.. but nope. He'll probably do another open relationship with the same result, and another one after that with the same result, and maybe even another and he'll learn. He's either a very slow learner or he wont ever learn and be in an endless loop like that.
Where it say she left for her side guy?
But it makes sense for him. When he wants to explore something with someone else sexually he wants to do it without restrictions
@@westword6558do you mean, "how do people know?"? If so, because its a open story to anyone familiar with his channel
@@westword6558dude, were you not following the story last 2 months?
Hey I don't care what anyone says, his ex wifes boyfriend is proud of him
His ex wifes bf probably has a bigger 8====D
I would hope so, bro said he was gonna kill himself if they didn’t break ties, her current boyfriend is incel behavior 💀
Which one? She has many
@@Garrillagamerwell that guy’s getting laid a lot for an incel then 😂
@@Garrillagamer and she chose that over destiny lmao
I dont trust young people who act like they have nothing left to learn
You talking about the hosts of the show? Destiny is not necessarily a young guy...
@@keepingitreal5533 30s is young and yes im talking about Destiny.
He acts like he has nothing left to learn and he has an answer for everything. A tell tale sign of stupidity
Exactly this. Grew up on the internet and have an answer for everything.
1.:47 i believe he talks about what he learned
The video is literally about what he learned...bruh lol.
He projects his sadness and insecurity without realizing it. Hes a sad man.
You sound pretty sad yourself
@@JT-cx2evI’m a sad man
His whole vibe is depressing af
Don't take any relationship advice from this man, seriously
Bruh he doesn’t give anybody tips to follow after him relationship wise. Do u even watch him?
@@carlospthedonthey don't. He does give relationship advice but it's the most basic advice of respect your partner and be compatible. They always ignore the fact that he's said a million times that he doesn't recommend his lifestyle to people.
He doesn’t give any tips to follow what he does.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
@carlospthedon I do watch him, he defends people that have loose morals all the time while being super judgemental towards people that promote healthy monogomous relationships. He even has said he thinks its insecurity.. I don't think that's a good influence personally
Saying “most relationships fail and statistically speaking my next one will fail too” is exactly why they keep failing. He’s not even trying when the going gets tough. Really a sad way to live life. No commitment at all
I understand where you're coming from, I'm a big proponent on going into things with the proper mindset, but let's put things into perspective. Not all relationship last that's just a fact, if every relationship on earth always worked out the idea of divorce would cease to exist, but it does, and the tuth is, it really doesnt matter who you are, your background your religion your bank account your statues your genetics it does not matter, you can get divorced/dumped/cheated on too, Now thinking that this Does Not apply to you or this would never happen to you may comfort oneself in the moment, but it can lead some men down a very dark path If & When it does questioning who they've been with for X amount of years, thinking how could this happen, we were just fine etc.. I say go into things with the right intentions, work things out best you can, communicate with each other, put in the effort, but always know there's a chance things may not work and you should be okay with either outcome without being overly pessimistic
@@Goldenslaya117 oh I totally agree, divorce can happen to anyone and will continue to happen because people change and life happens, I’m not saying I’m void of that chance but I just think Destiny’s mindset is more of a passive one than active. I haven’t been in a relationship with him haha but it FEELS like he kinda thinks “well if it doesn’t work then oh well” and that he never really fights for them. Thats all I’m saying. I think a lot of people have a passive mindset about it and it raises the chances of it failing. But totally get what you’re saying
Is being honest with yourself and others a sad way to live life? Is stating obvious basic statistical facts a sad way to live life? He said his next one will PROBABLY fail, and that's just true. If those type of truths really scare you so much that you have to pretend it's not true, then you must have a hard time living your life. That is what's sad.
@@lelidawi2446pretending you do not know why it failed is whats delusional in his case. Not most relationships fail because ur partner finds a different person, what was the reaosn in his case
@lelidawi2446 well, Destiny seems to also have a mindset where improving yourself equals changing your personality/ideals.
When really, you can still be you and put the effort in.
A person shouldn't like and be with you because you're you. A person is being with you because they thought it was worthwhile to invest their futures with you.
Not to say Melina had no part, but Destiny's lack of effort is just an universal L regardless of what dating philosophies you hold.
Hats off to Jack for continuing on a line of questioning even when things got uncomfortable. Takes some guts.
you mean jack the cat? the one with a deep voice?
It’s not uncomfortable when you can see through somebody’s shtick.
@@willpower3317 Destiny isnt uncofortable with answering those questions, whats the «sthick»😂
@@Cashout95 idk probably pretending he isnt bothered or uncomfortable with the fact his wife left him for a total beta
@@alrightsure9941 Mind reader in the house! I'm one too. I'm sure you're pretending you aren't bothered that you're asexual
The reason his relationship failed is because he is going in with the idea that “most relationships fail”. You must go into a marriage knowing both partners are willing to go to war for each other. This world is challenging and if you don’t go willing to work at it and become one you shouldn’t be married.
Exactly. People are so fickle and weak.
@@Cheeseburger33333 If going into a marriage expecting divorce is "realistic" then I guess I am unrealistic.
@@Cheeseburger33333another internet commenter talking about relationships in an on paper manner, when they realistically don’t have the real life experience to back it up and it shows. In real life, shit isn’t so black and white. You shouldn’t ever go into a relationship thinking about all these statistics. You go into it because you’re sure that person is worth going to war for and you will make it work regardless of hardships. Fuck all that bs about “oh its realistic so its good to go into it expecting it to end in divorce” my friend please, if you aren’t so experienced on a topic, stop trying to give your take on it to sway other’s opinions. 🥱
All of this ❤❤❤❤❤
Love is not in the honeymoon stage. Love is recognizing all the flaws your partner has and choosing to push through it and love them anyways.
We need to do more work identifying deal breakers in relationships before we get married. Marriage is a commitment that should not be treated as something that is bound to fail.
I mean it's true, denying it doesn't change the fact.
I think Destiny is trying to appear strong but it is okay to be sad marriage ended.
He's not sad because they never actually cared about each other that much. It's like when you never see a work friend ever again.
Or maybe he just truly has come to accept that it's over and is focusing on work and moving on with his life without having to project sadness for everyone else to be satisfied 🙄
@@overman2306 cope
@@keepingitreal5533letting other dudes fck your wife means you never really cared that much to begin with. It’s simple.
He could be sad the relationship ended, probably doesn't care about the marriage
Destiny's relationship behaviors are because of avoidant attachment style. Until he deals with it, he will continue to have relationships fail.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 The man cannot commit because he does not WANT to commit.
He doesn't have avoidant attachment. He has said multiple times he enjoys having intimacy, cuddling, and the whole lot frequently if he has the opportunity. He is a very driven person, streams around 9 hours a day, so he doesn't partake in this often. For his other relationships, the circumstances are different but still not avoidant.
@@WhiskersTC I don't think you know what avoidant attachment is
@ConceptHut people who want closeness and or intimacy, but when given, push it away or dismiss it. All attachment styles are a result of the parenting growing up.
You said destiny has avoidant attachment tendencies, which I denied because he doesn't push away closeness or intimacy.
@WhiskersTC Avoidant Attachment folks LIMIT and CONTROL intimacy by various strategies. It does NOT mean they do not want it or accept it in certain amounts. It's not an all or nothing thing.
Please learn more than a blurbs worth about Attachment Theory.
Destiny's limiting strategies are working as much as he does, open relationships, sleeping around a lot. He also shows his Attachment issues by his views about how people go to eachother with their feelings.
That's just some of it.
It’s very on brand for Destiny to not examine why his relationships keep failing and to just pass it off as “most relationships fail” lol
He literally explained that it was due to a break down in communication during the interview and casually admitted to neglected his partners emotional needs.
@@goddessrick8734 dont bother they dont like facts
1:47 what do you call this then?
@@goddessrick8734 break down in communication.... hmmm yah. Especially the part where his wife's communication was interrupted by another man's shmeat in her mouth
@@folv6631you can act like a child if you want 🤷♂️. But the original commenter is incorrect and everyone showed this.
Maybe they all failed because of him
That’s certainly possible, but most relationships I’ve been in or seen have failed so it seems to be pretty universal.
A lot of them failed because of him but a relationship is a two-way street odds are some of them were both party where they were just incompatible
@@cameronpeterson5961 Are you a regular Destiny viewer ?
Possible. At some point, the question has to come up if 6 the problem. Besides, he lost her the same way he got her. Also, his relationships will always fail if he desires the open relationship path. This will always be his fate. If he doesn't want to die alone, then he would have to aquire a loving wife who is faithful to him and him to her.
@@xx_HI_xx7you have absolutely no idea if that's true. People are not nearly that universal. He lost his wife the same way thousands of people lose their marriage. Your partner is unfaithful and lies. Monogamy may reduce your chances of that but it's not even close to zero. And you never look at another human being like a pile of statistics.
Never take marriage advice from someone who is divorced ❤
Don’t take advice from people in toxic relationships either. Pick a married couple you want to be like and ask them.
He learned jackshit from his failed marriage, he can't see the problem he had from the start, that he had no boundaries for her so she had no respect for him. He is even saying in the interview "if I said something to her it would be the end of the world". Well daaah, that is because you don't impose respect by acting like a pussyyy with pants. No respect = no attraction = no love!
He was divorced twice
Well. Divorced people have advice too. Advice on what not to do. Don’t be at work all day, your wife will get bored and your children need you.
Don’t act on the lust you have for your coworker, it will destroy your s/o.
Don’t forget about date night
Don’t stop practicing conflict resolution and understanding the ways you escalate fights.
Understand your s/o love languages.
Learn to compromise. Never stop being intimate. Not the act of sex.
These are reasons people divorce.
@@Chewy_GarageBandDad sure, but I bet that advice is only one side of the story. Unless you’re speaking with a very humble person you won’t get solid advice from a divorcee.
I’d rather not take my chances and stick to listening to those who ARE doing the work and succeeding.
Divorced people have a lot of advice to offer, to say never take advice from them is so crazy.
There's no getting through to him, he's too far gone. Man can't comprehend not wanting your partner to sleep with other people, even after he lost his wife because she was sleeping with other people...
He comprehends, he just doesn't want it for himself
How he's describing a marriage sounds more like a roommate
Which is precisely why they are so short-lived.
Just because most relationships fail, doesnt mean its ok to just let it happen or just to expect it to
Why would it not be ok to let your relationship fail?
yes! that is exactly what he said.
Dude if the relationship isn't working then it's not working. You should absolutely let it fail if it's no longer working. Why would you want to keep someone around that doesn't want to be around you or why would you want to be around somebody you don't want to be around?
Relationships don't have to be successful if it's not working let it Go
The point is, why expect it to fail. If you expect it to, there's a higher chance of having it fail.
@@VitalPolymath it's being realistic. You're not expecting it to fail.
Let's take this a different way.
Most people cannot land a kickflip on a skateboard the first time trying. Should I I go into this with the expectation that I'm going to fall on my ass and hurt myself??? Yes yes I should I should not have a higher expectation than what is realistic. I should be reasonable.
You don't want to have your hopes so high that they get absolutely demolished when something that is likely to happen happens.
This guy is annoying after 10 minutes Some people are best to live alone
Didn't some of Destiny's monogamous relationships fail because he cheated on them?
Yes
Yeah, that's his reasoning for the open relationship stuff. He says he doesn't consider monogamous sex as an essential part of a functioning relationship. He considers the act as an physical accessory to love, but not love itself. I guess like a kiss on the cheek or a hug?
I gave up monogamy almost 30 years ago. Never got cheated on since!
I live far better as a result too. While all my married friends whine about how they haven't gotten any in years, I just shake my head. A dry spell for me is like three days.
@@kenofken9458 wow dude, so happy for you. I’m glad you prioritize your penis in life!!!!
You’re my hero
@@kenofken9458 you pay for s8x every 3 days?
“My relationships keep failing, but definitely not because I’m a piece of shit”
Eh he seems like a decent guy. If anything Melina is the terrible person sleeping with others when she was married. She knew Destiny couldn't get any other play.
Whatever anyone thinks…. Take no relationship advise from this guy!
The main reason for the relationship failing is that the relationship didn’t come from a discerning search for a compatible, lifelong partner but rather a physical and mental attraction with no regard to the potential longevity.
The claim is that your relationship with Melina failed because it was open. Which is obviously true. Saying "most relationships fail" is a non answer.
True. It's the sense of trying to explain away the bad outcomes to, 'Everything is bad so why expect this not to be?' From observing his body language, one can read he is insecure about the question, talking confidently and fast serves as a concealment method.
These streamer debater types cannot have genuine conversations with people. Everything is reduced to rhetorical and debate tactics. You can easily tell they operate like that to hide and cope not wanting to face the reality that their perspective and way of life are damaging. I bet they know they are full of shit when they are alone.
Very true. Dude has such a massive ego that he could never admit he was wrong about something that he so strongly defended.
the problem with that logic is that the relationship would never of even started if it was not open. I would never do an open relationship and think it would only work for sub 5% of people at most but that's not a good argument. IMO either Destiny is not able to have a non open relationship like he says or he's a sex addict and would be able to if he addressed that issue somehow. Either way a non open relationship would have obviously never worked or even started in the first place
even if he is partly right, i am not sure MOST fail either - but the ones that succeed are NOT open ones
It's not obviously true at all
Destiny is a different breed of weirdo
Destiny is the perfect example of why so many with autism fail in their analyses. Austistic people tend to hyper focus on something, and miss the forest for the trees. The argument about 'sacrifice' is such an example. He says he polyamorous relationships do not need to be any less intimate or worthy. The host says they do. He then responds there doesn't need to be any extra sacrifice than necessary. But, he didn't account for the very basic and simple fact in polyamory you LITERALLY split your time, attention, and ENERGY between multiple people, thus diluting your relationships. Thus he's a fool, despite all the high regard he puts himsefl as.
I've said it once and I'll say it again, getting into an open relationship because you can't stop yourself from cheating is the problem. That's like an alcoholic getting a job at brewery, your finding something that allows the bad behavior instead of fixing it in order to cope/ignore/not acknowledge it.
Edit: Can't believe this needs to be said but I guess reading comprehension is dead. I don't care if someone wants to be in an open relationship, if that works for you then go for it. Nor do I think an open relationship = cheating, obviously it doesn't. The issue is getting into an open relationship as a loophole for cheating. If you've cheated in every other relationship that's not a "sign" that an open relationship is right for you, it's a sign you're a shitty partner. Go ahead and cope but that's just true. It's a sign that most people would see and say "wow I really need to work on myself and figure this out" but that's not what happened here. If you take time to watch/listen to any of Destiny's opinions on cheating (which are hot fucking garbage) then it would become clear he has an issue.
So, thats not true, and my first job was at large bar and restaurant where the owner who was in AA, hosted the AA meetings there.
@@maniac50ae14 Being in AA means you’ve accepted and are actively working on the issue. Not the same thing to what I said.
@@supergingerr ok, i think i understand you better because of something i read in another comment which was, destiny cheated in his previous monogamous relationships and so he felt the answer was to have an open relationship.
Youre saying that destiny never fixed the part that allowed him to disrespect his previous partners. Right? That he was going to inevitably disrespect his partner in the open relationship somehow, because thats the flaw that hasnt been corrected, right?
It’s actually better for him to pursue an open relationship or casual relationships if he wants to sleep around or if he doesn’t care about his partner sleeping around.
@@maniac50ae14 Yes. I think there is probably more as we don't see everything bts so I don't think that's the only issue, but I think it kinda sets Destiny up for failure. I also probably should have mention in my og comment that my thoughts on this stem from how Destiny views/talks about cheating as a whole. Like for example he's said that he doesn't think cheating has anything to do with trust being broken, which is wild to me. Who knows I could be totally wrong but it just seems like he has a blind spot or something when it comes to this issue.
Destiny is the most self centered morally bankrupt person there is
Which moral code?
Facts. Glad to see someone other than myself just all a spade a spade.
@@Dan16673 oh you are one of those that doesn't believe in objective morality. Well that's fine, it's just that you shouldn't expect people to answer your question or discuss, because I believe most people just find people like that meaningless to talk with.
@@OneWithinn Then where is your objectively derived? Dont tell me old book, because we know thats gibberish
Destiny is the most intelligent human that has ever existed. Don’t think so? Ask him. He’ll tell you.
jesus......get out more
@@leegrant7333he's being sarcastic lol
@@WicketJA Nah, hes being spiteful. Only somebody who hasn't watched Destiny's content would think this.
@@fukumeiso you actually watch his content? Are you some no life virgin? Lmao
This a fascinating line of reasoning. What he's really saying is since most relationships fail, there is no need to make an effort.
It seems like a weird decision to marry someone with the expectation that it will fail. At the very least, the pygmalion effect would make it more likely to fail...
Yeah you see this alot in atheist women. There's 100% a kind of "give up if I don't get my way" attitude that contributes to when things go wrong. People without spiritual beliefs often just are entirely happy to abandon true love when things get tough. It's an ugly quality in a woman (or man)
Pretty sure they only married so she could move to the US not necessarily because they saw eachother as lifelong partners
@@MultiAsdag so you think women are property and should have to remain in a relationship that they're not happy being in anymore?
Look just because you think imaginary friends are real doesn't mean any of us should care about that
@@Garrillagamershe immediately left the U.S. bro. They both talk about how she didn't want to be here very much. She wasn't from a third world country.
Well the point of the marriage was for her to be able to live with him in the US. He's said as much. The marriage part doesn't really mean much to him.
This guy is an interesting psychological case -
-He fidgets a lot
-He says he's very independent and self-reliant.
-Very pragmatic/logic/detail oriented.
-Very quick to become defensive.
-He is very matter of fact and does not have much (if any) emotional variance and says he feels fine about it.
-He prefers not to be monogamous.
-Doesn't care for having a partner who desires only him (as he says "it's never a thought in my head").
-He deals with people in a non-confrontational manner (via internet by banning/unbanning people).
This was interesting to observe and hear his responses to their questions.
It almost seems he is somewhat on the spectrum (high functioning autism or asperger's)
This just shows that people all have a different way of mental functioning which doesn't surprise me when I hear about people similar to him. People don't often take into account that not everyone's mental functioning is the same. His brain is just wired differently.
As someone with Asperger's, I read him as being on the spectrum as well, but I would add that the figeting reads more like ADD/ADHD than Autism spectrum.
great observation without being a judging nelly
Is it just me or does he tend to fidget a lot when he’s being confronted
Destiny answered these like job interview questions lol. What are your weaknesses? “Oh I’m just too career-motivated which lends to my great success/wealth, and also I’m super chill and understanding and blame myself too often when it was actually my partner’s fault.” Then saying “I made mistakes too” but not elaborating on what those mistakes were i.e lying, cheating, etc. He was unable to maintain the trust and rules of an OPEN relationship because he’s basically a coomer/sex addict and it created a resentment loop that ultimately contributed to poisoning their marriage. Which is the exact thing that destroyed his first marriage.
Yes most relationships fail… and open relationships fail *significantly* more often.
There's not any data to support a higher failure rate bc the relationships aren't common enough or just not public enough. Studies or surveys lean towards it probably not affecting the chance of failure.
Why would anyone be in an open relationship when you could just be single and have these "micro relationships" with no chance of a divorce and a lot less chance of heartbreak. I'm way way way too jealous to know my wife or gf is getting plowed and going out with other men. I think deep down people that prefer open relationships have some type of cuckhold kink
Destiny doesn't realize it's about team work. He views relationships purely through what he'll get out of it, mainly sex. It's not purely transactional. It's gotta be projection that he calls so many other people delusional all the time too.
You didn't listen to a thing he said. To say Destiny views relationships as just sex tells me you didn't listen at all
Relationship shouldn't be transactional at all
All relationships are transactional..
If you have a friend > you clearly like them for something > if they stopped doing that thing and were a d*ck to you then you would > not be interested in that relationship > that’s based on something transactional
@@allelitememesaem3916 Except I've heard him speak for _years_ on his channel and almost every podcast imaginable. All he does is try to push or justify high time preference lifestyle choices while not seeing any amount of chess moves ahead or the collateral damage it causes to people who engage in that kind of behavior ad nauseam or to society. His defense mechanism _(which is a massively overweight Rationalization Hamster)_ is usually to gisp gallop a bunch of insults back sometimes against a strawman of what is even being debated.
@_APG_ gotta stop you right there lmao he doesn't push for his lifestyle at all. Literally AT ALL. To say all he does is push for high time preference lifestyle is demonstrable false. Actually, the opposite. He makes it very clear on every podcast that he wouldn't recommend his lifestyle to anyone. So I know you're either fabricating how much you've watched Destiny, or you actually did watch that much but listened to and understood none of it.
I wish someone would challenge the main thought in open relationships that one person cannot fulfill your needs. The moment you accept that, you stop trying to meet your spouse’s needs. This is what I believe is dangerous. We stop trying.
If I need something from the husband, I communicate that to him and he either obliges, or we compromise, or we get to the root of why I say I need it. He never just expects me to get that need fulfilled by someone else.
It isn't even worth the discussion girl. it is just degeneracy for losers. By its own definition, there is no "relationship" if it is an "open relationship".
I will never understand how in one breath he mentioned statistics, then in the next breath argue indirectly open relationships are effectively the same as monogamous relationships in terms of failure rate.
Just Destiny mental gymnastics logic. The dude is sick he doesn't even know if he likes women or men
When you have the mentality that all relationships will fail, you set yourself up for failure and never learn to work for it to succeed
The reality is you can work hard to improve yourself but you can't change your partner no matter what. That's why most relationships fail. Don't get me wrong. Destiny is a loser for sure.
His line of thinking reminds me of "Notes from the Underground" . Society has clearly forgotten the divine nature of marriage. We have an intuition that monogamy is good, cheating is bad .. but we can't really explain why. Love is just a "feeling", after all, so anything goes. We're reaping what we sow.
THIS
I like this podcast, the hosts are so thoughtful and genuinely curious
It's like watching two guys explain being human to a robot.
He's clearly not experiencing love and emotions. Perhaps on a superficial level yes but not deeply. And this may be a protection because it does require you to put someone else above you and for that to happen you have to be willing to sacrifice yourself. I dont see destiny willing to sacrifice anything he actually cares about
This may sound weird, though, also - it could be his diet.
I cut out high fructose corn syrup, and almost all corn derivatives two years ago, while upping my beef intake - I began to develop both physical and emotional sensations that were either completely numb, or highly blunted.
I was incredibly emotionally shallow (meaning, I just didn’t have a wide range; and I had difficulty identifying what I did feel).
Like, I legit didn’t understand that the emotion to move could be felt and what that felt like.
Now, I understand why people place such high value in their emotions, and the way they feel about other people, and vice versa.
I experienced a lot of abuse, growing up - and have several mental disorders, which, cause a person’s emotional capacity to shut down.
However, I can tell the difference between something my brain is doing as a protectant - and something that happens, because of my diet changes.
And Destiny don’t look very well nourished or healthy, in my opinion.
I believe much of today’s modern diet has a lot to do with people’s difficulties connecting intimately with others.
I mean, lol at the rise of asexuality, gender confusion, failing relationships, isolation, extensive online relationships vs. in real life..
It’s just another piece of the puzzle.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 it’s not destiny’s diet-it’s destiny’s character. He just doesn’t really have values.
The guy is a robot, you can see by the way he answers these questions that he simply does not understand the depth of emotion that a normal human feels.
I love the way you honor and respect people with your genuine curiosity. Thank you.
He seems very detached. It's kind of sad. I think he's just managed to avoid any feelings of vulnerability. I think he has already coped with the girl leaving by the time they are serious. He views it as "open", but its really just breaking the bond before it ever forms.
Destiny is just really weird dude.
10:49 really was insightful
He's an oofy doofy. What do you expect
He's way more creepy than he is weird.
@@reggiejenkins6458he’s autistic and uncompromising
He is a beta
As long as Destiny holds the same view about relationship, he'll always fail.
It’s my absolute favorite when people say “When she had an issue, it was prompted by my mistake.” But then also say, “when I had an issue it was a big problem and couldn’t be heard.” BUT then says well I don’t speak up when I have a problem with people and then just cut them off and they are surprised. Sir, the problem is YOU. Your lack of direct communication is hugely problematic. People are not mind readers. My boyfriend is like this and we are desperately working on it. He spends so much time in his own head instead of talking to me about his thoughts. This allows him to build up resentment and bitterness toward me for something he most of the time misheard, misunderstood, or just flat out never addressed so I remain none the wiser until he blows up. By the time that happens, we are so far removed from the issue that he can’t tell me specifically what happened, he misremembers, or the problem is so big when it wouldn’t have been an issue at all if he’d just talked to me right away.
All the salty people in the comments here are pretty funny. Most heterosexual relationships also fail, yet here comes the anti-open relationship brigade blaming Destiny's marriage failure on the open component alone. lol
Most of the hard critics of open relationships are guys who can't even maintain one.
@@kenofken9458 I've maintained a relationship for over 6 years, I still have no problem with the idea of open relationships provided I like the additional persons and they aren't actively trying to sabotage what we've already established.
The rhetoric that people who prefer open relationships are "defective" in some sense is just wrong, some people are a lot more variable and interesting than you think. Personally, I don't see a reason to stress over another human beings sexuality so long as we adhere to basic hygiene standards.
As for kids, villages raised children for millennia this isn't new. You just need to vet people. People with extreme jealousy and controlling tendencies don't make the cut.
@@shin-ishikiri-no Honestly, I never saw issues with open relationships but I think it's not for everyone. It was always clear to me that Melina had monogamous tendencies; she was just socialized to be poly and grew up with these kinds of relationships. A few years ago, she once cried about wanting a closed marriage. It's clear that she isn't a fit for a poly lifestyle and clearly craves for emotional connection. On other hand, Destiny has poly tendencies. So it makes sense why his marriage failed. Emotional complexity is one of the main components most people fail to take into account in relationships. Open relationships only work for people who are actually poly and are comfortable with it.
@@morbidgirl6808 Melina ”craving for emotional connection" isn't the issue here, it's the desire to monopolize another human being, which is a very common desire in humans.
This guy never experienced actual love
I really like Destiny. I just dont understand his stance with relationships. Just say you’ll date and not commit because thats all an open relationship is. When you truly love someone, you both commit to each other. Im guessing he just hasn’t met that person yet that makes him feel that way.
Why can't you commit to each other while still having sexual relationships with other people?
Don't get me wrong, I understand why people value that commitment, but equally I can see why others don't.
@@colamity_5000 "Why can't you commit to each other while still having sexual relationships with other people? "
You can't have your cake and eat it too. It's complete nonsense that anyone with commonsense intuitively understands. There is no real commitment, separating sex from emotion is a meme and only a moron would believe it. Why do you think all these relationships fail?
I'm not sure that there is "that special person" for some people. Some people aren't into those kind of relationships and that's ok.
@@bganonimouse2754 The question is if they're really ok with it or is it just cope
@@salman6254 The bigger question is whether we understand that not everybody is the same. The other question is whether its our business what other people do in their relationships.
Who cares?
Bro literally got advice from myron about what hes complaining about
At that point, why even call it a relationship or marriage? You're seeing other people. You're dating around. Kind of the antithesis of a committed relationship/marriage. Which works for some, but own what it actually is.
Bro wants all the pros of an actual relationship without any of the emotional or personal work he needs to put in it
He is too married to his own politics and ideology that his wife left him lol
A romantic relationship is defined by its boundaries, ergo an "open" relationship doesn't really exist. While it's true that most relationships have a high chance of failing, so-called "open" relationships will fail 100% of the time.
ehh, open relationships still can have boundaries so this isn't really good logic. Also there's no stats that say 100% fail
@@marcomarin1196 the primary boundary in all romantic relationships is monogamy. It's what defines it and dictates how each partner should behave within its framework. It's a very clear boundary. In open relationships the boundaries are vague, and as a result confusion takes over and roles are blurry. I stand by what I said: relationships are hard enough with just one partner..add a second or third partner and it's a recipe for disaster. I don't know what the data is on the open approach, but I can point to many successful long term monogamous relationships, whereas I can't point to even one successful long term "open" relationship.
100%? You're saying not once in the entirety of the world has a relationship lasted until either person died from old age? Not to mention that, you know, open relationships DO have boundaries? I dont even DO open relationships and I know this stuff. Takes less than 2 minutes of critical thinking to acknowledge these things.
@@janah6473 Whatever boundaries an open relationship has are irrelevant because the one boundary that defines romantic relationships is absent (exclusivity). Do you think it would really matter if you went into an open relationship and established a "boundary" that said your partner could have 4 extra partners but not 5? Or 3 but not 4? Its irrelevant. The moment you expand beyond 1 all boundaries dissolve. It just becomes silly.
@@MikeKnittel-ve3wd There is things that are exclusive in open relationship. Sex is not the end all be all for everyone.
Wait. This guy was married to a female?
9:00 it sounds like he loves people, but never in love with that person. I wonder if he even knows the difference. It’s also why I think Destiny might actually be a sociopath. He logically understands love, but I wonder if he actually feels it. He should get an MRI scan of his amygdala. 😂
Sounds more like you have an understanding of love (there is no universal understanding, it's all subjective) and anything that falls outside of it you're not able to comprehend so you write it off
@allelitememesaem3916 love is subjective, but it can be categorized. His path seems purely sexual since the problem is that he's far to into himself since the majority of the time you'll find he's very condescending even when he's showing what might be perceived as kindness since he usually follows an interaction with an insult.
@xx_HI_xx7 if his path was purely sexual he wouldn't be in a relationship at all. He's spoken at length about the benefits of a partner that go beyond sex and the things he's looks for.
@@allelitememesaem3916 it can still be relationship with the main reason for being there is you have shelter while only needing to spread em once and a while. Destiny simply has acquaintances that he sleeps with. Are they relationships? Yes, but they will never become true bonds? No. His relationships are almost designed by his path to be forever breif and temporary. I've heard him speak about those benefits or how he mentioned Ben Shapiro as a gold standard for a great relationship between two people. Unfortunately for destiny he won't find happiness. Only satisfaction.
@xx_HI_xx7 Forever brief and temporary? He's had several long term relationships. Also, I don't think you've done a deep dive into his dynamic with not only his previous exes but also current ex wife if you believe they were simply acquaintances lmao. He literally got married so that he could actually BE with Malena as he would describe long distance the way you just did... as simply being acquaintances.
Speaking fast and connecting ideas doesn’t mean such ideas have meaning. Whenever they questioned him, he would reply quickly with something ridiculous or a tangent. But you could hear his pitch and speed rose because he was bothered by the question.
Maybe I'm closed minded but "open relationship" is an oxymoronic phrase to me.
"Well I was married to my H.S GF" Dude, destiny next to zero no principles. he just said a few days ago he only married his H.S GF to get a loan for school. he is just trying to make it seem like that marriage ended just because "All relationships end" so... my bad decisions are actually GOOD right??…
he does this a lot to make these lil points, hoping it'll make him sound smarter than he really is(sadly it words).. when you realize this guy just changes his "reason" for his varies actions or opinions; in that current argument, just to win a small point. for "optics", it really makes you wonder how delusional this man has really become; from all the yes men.
open relationships are fine, do you. Just like, I think destiny looks so bad dying on hills like this. its just feels sometimes like a grifting type beat, to me at least.
I know this will just get downvoted by his gits. its okay I go outside. also I'm not a fan or whatever of whoever DDG is currently hating(the true ULT of discrediting opinions). I watch destiny, I just hate ego contradictory arts; especially, when he acts like he has such a moral understanding of things.
Well WASN'T he married to his H.S GF?
I feel like most of the comments here miss the fact that Destiny explicitly states that the average person shouldn't try open relationships. All of the other advice he gives is general dating advice, which seems to be better than, like, redpill advice, which he's extensively debated against on his channel (I would say convincingly).
I believe he's said in the past that he can only do open relationships because he has cheated in previous monogamous relationships, and wishes to sleep around (which he considers a fun thing personally) without hurting whoever he's in a relationship with.
Hope this clears some things up for those unaware. He's obviously not advocating for people to do open relationships.
What specific redpill advice do you disagree with?
Lol the idea of destiny “sleeping around” is a novel one ha
Well he ex wife cheated on him in a open relationship. Things get a full circle
My take: He shouldn't 'try relationships' ever. He sucks at them. Sleep around. Be 'that' guy. Stop pretending.
@@LickaTruth One of the most common "arguments" that redpillers make is that despite women retaining value by remaining virgin or having a low body count, that it is perfectly reasonable and/or desirable for men to have a high body count and that this somehow does not weaken their pair-bonding impulses or similar. This is rather silly. High value in men is not just about material attributes but emotional ones as well, like commitment and gentility.
Another common redpill argument is about allocating blame for a relationship failure where a woman cheats. The typical redpill answer is that a woman functions more-or-less like an instinctual animal, unable to continue her commitment the moment she sees a better option (with better always being defined materialistically - such as more wealth, more social prestige, etc.) and this phenomenon is called hypergamous monkey-branching. This is rather silly. There are many cases where women leave relationships without a "branch" to land on or the "branch" she lands on is worse from a materialistic perspective -- this latter case being what happened between Destiny and his ex-wife. And, conversely, there are many cases where women are actively seduced by men who are better from a materialistic perspective than their partner and refuse the possibility. All of these cases demonstrate that women are not operating purely on instinct but, if operating on instinct, it is somewhat moderated by rational thinking. This means that actual relationship issues arise which may cause the woman to seek contentment away from the relationship. This is not to say that the man is fully responsible for the woman cheating but that the man has some degree of culpability (along with the woman's culpability).
Why does he talk so fast? I feel like he's trying to blitz every conversation with so many words that he overwhelms the people asking the question. It works on people who are less intelligent because they get overwhelmed, but when talking to intelligent people it's like waves crashing against rocks, it does nothing, and they still continue to challenge him and he gets defensive.
I thought the video was on 2x for a minute
When you are in an open marriage- dont be suprised if the person is acting weird or leave you one day. Its an invitation ffs
Theres no surprise, hes feminine. She wanted masculinity.
I'm just going to say this and hope that people really understand it, Destiny is not somebody you should watch and take any relationship advice from what so ever and this also applies to any man that is a materialist giving relationship advice. Our body is made up of spirit and flesh, people like Destiny completely neglect spirit as he doesn't seem to believe in the metaphysical but this is exactly why he cannot figure out a relationship to work.
He can not overcome is fleshly desires of f*ing multiple women or pr0n.
If you want to truly love a woman and have that woman truly love you then you must overcome these issues so you can truly connect to each other.
S*x is so powerful and you have no idea but materials will just say it's abit of fun but if that veil was lifted and you could see the negative influences following you around from messing with 100s of broken women you'd soon realise how much harm you are doing to yourself.
Please don't watch it, if you start behaving like them and holding their views you will sink into the abyss and that is just not going to feel good.
The nihilist world view is the most depressing state a human could possibly fall into.
We all have purpose in this world you must first seek it.
Honestly anybody who reads this I wish you well, take care and no man or woman is perfect but we can all try to do better.
Your “fleshly” desires, directly impact your mental homie, your body needs to eat for your brain to function both physically and mentally, everyone is different, if you feel like you are missing on something in life, it will hit you differently than someone else
@@Garrillagamer Your reply shows you don't understand.
Eating is not a desire.
Rethink what I wrote please to understand it
No spirits don't exist. You are made up of nothing but molecules. No spirits no energy no nothing just molecules.
S3x is not powerful, it is just a bodily function. There's nothing special about it.
No, we do not have purpose in this world. Our purpose is whatever we make of it because there is nothing to give us purpose in the first place.
This is not being nihilistic this is being realistic. Spirits and the supernatural do not exist and you cannot provide any evidence to demonstrate that it does. Everything you just stated is absolutely just a bunch of unsubstantiated nonsense
@@rs-uz7tq your comment shows us that you don't live in reality
@@UlexiteTVStoneLexite Your comment shows you are a materialist who rejects reality.
I cannot show you a thought, yet it exists.
I cannot show you my dreams, yet they exist.
You show me that you seem to think limited to materialism and are incable of thinking outside of it.
what the actual fuck is the point of getting married if you have no intentions of not being with that person till the end of your life
This is what happens when a terminally online drone (with a girl's name) tries to have a relationship with a human.
Facts. Lol...priceless.
That was NEVER a marriage. That was a mockery of marriage. Seek counseling if you need help understanding what marriage is.
bro trynna rationalize why his ex-wife cooked him
My gf of almost 10 years and I were recently going through some issues, the past 2 years really have been a rocky road but we're on a better path now. I love her and she's always supported me. Whenever we talked about problems we have, the idea of open marriage was instantly dismissed by both of us because we know it's akin to running away from the problem, NOT fixing it. You can start a relationship open if you want to, but opening it up once things start breaking down is a surefire way to ruin things entirely and it's likely to be a slow and horrible process one of you two is going to go through.
The only one who didn't see this coming was him
it is true that most relationships fail, but this is why i try to be more concious of me and my partner and try to make it work, and not let things just happen and end up in the same place. because i know most of them fail, and ive failed before, each time im trying to do something new or different , in hopes i can make one last. i dont think i would ever give up on love
The guy is wrong about everything but still seems convinced that he’s a genius.
It seems like he views relationships as purely for pleasure/ enjoyment. It’s just about what makes you happy. There’s no commitment or compassion for his parter. He acts like if there’s a problem, just leave, there no point in trying to work it out because it doesn’t make me happy.
Destiny is an egocentric and sheltered child. I’m not surprised by any of the event in his life. Is anyone?
destiny will never be honest and just say that "maybe letting my wife sleep with other men was a bad idea"
There are plenty of people who don't have failed relationships. You just failed. Get over it.
There is only one common denominator, it's him. She was way out of his league
This man doesn't set boundries for his women, so they steam roll him. The literal definition of beta.
The reason why he is nonchalant is because it was never a real relationship in the first place. People who love each other want to be exclusive.
Poly marriages can work between 2 people who are both very wealthy and have known each other for a long time imo, but I don't see what the point is
@@michaelangst6078 Do you know their names? Are they famous?
@@michaelangst6078funny enough a lot of very wealthy couples/power couples never rlly lasted
I always found that little interesting
He's such a good litmus test of what opinions NOT to have and how to NOT be. All his personal opinions needs to be put to the test when your personal life is such a failure. You can also tell just by his mannerisms and speech that he's deeply insecure and uncomfortable in himself.
He is so emotionally disconnected.
“Most relationships will fail”, that’s why you ought to take every inch of stability when you can.
Most marriages fail.... in MURICA. Destiny is joke of a man. Man take notes, what not to do or be. Destiny is prime example of one big fail in epic proportion.
This guy had the nerve to debate people on relationship stabdards. Lmao its a clown world.
Destiny is such a baby. He quickly gets hostile when his shitty lifestyle gets challenged even slightly.
Is "even slightly" really happening?
You can see that he goes into relationships and doesn't invest himself, cause "they will fail statistically" - yeah bro, with that mindset they will
I like Destiny but It doesn't make sense to me how for him it's such a huge sacrifice to not be able to have sex with however you want and just have sex with your partner. Like you clearly find your partner sexually attractive, and on top of that have a connection with them that supersedes any one night stand. How is that not enough for sexual needs?
A big problem that people have with understanding open relationships is conflating romance with sex. Wanting sexual exclusivity in a romantic relationship is understandable, but why would you assume it's required if neither person cares about that? That's his point about sacrifice. If you like eating chips but you stopped and said it was for your partner, but your partner said they don't care if you eat chips, then what's the point in doing it. What he valued was honesty and openness and being a priority in her life. All things that can be given with or without sex, and all things that can be betrayed, with or without sex.
@CordaroBlu nah the problem is open relationships
@@apap4950 oh
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽☝️☝️☝️☝️
@@CordaroBlu A big problem people have with open relationships is not understanding the value placed upon sex and exclusivity, or why it is important in a relationship and it's usually the core component of what defines a relationship. People learned a long time ago not eating chips leads to a healthier overall relationship. That persons opinion (yes, even in their own relationship) on the importance of chips being ate is irrelevant. All it means is that they are too egocentric to stop eating chips because they taste good, so spend the majority of their time rationalizing why eating chips shouldn't really matter. They fool naive impressionable people with their thought process when in reality they are babby's first thoughts and destiny has fallen at the first hurdle. His thought's haven't really progressed passed teen years on this topic.
Meanwhile, that person's relationship breaks down because their partner found another chip more tasty that the structure of their relationship allowed them to indulge in. Which, when your relationship allows to it happen, is of course going to inevitably happen.
While monogamous relationships can also fail, and sometimes for the same reason of infidelity, that isn't due to the structure of a monogamous relationship - it's due to the individual not adhering to it. But the same thing cannot be said for open relationships. It IS due to the structure. You cannot really blame the person if they end up developing more intense feelings with one of the people they end up intimate with. There is no boundaries or value placed on exclusivity. Play with fire enough, eventually someone is going to end up burned. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out.
It doesn't matter what else that person values, not all things are considered equal. Some things are better than others. This extends to relationship structures as well. That's the core problem Destiny and other faux intellectuals have with this. Trying to equalize and make everything relative and subjective.
Bruh my parents have been together for 30 years. My grandparents for 50. Just stick together dude. It’s not hard.
I’m impressed with how Destiny handled this conversation, I would definitely have a hard time talking about this stuff I think or at least not showing how I feel about it
It's not a good thing man, your relationship should be protected. I would avoid getting any relationship advice from destiny, including putting his ex girlfriend on blast
He's numb.
@@moonbeam54321his ex girlfriend put him on blast and straight up lied about the situation, he got triggered, made an immediate response revealing too much, apologized, she continued lying, so he posted receipts
@@moonbeam54321 He rarely gives advice and he actively avoided putting her on blast until she put him on blast, and as a public figure, he has a reputation to protect. If your ex told your friends and family things about you that you disagreed with, you would want to set the record straight. She told the whole world those things and that affects his livelihood as a public figure.
@@CordaroBlu People just look on ways to dunk on destiny, im not even a lefty or an avid destiny watcher but the cope people try to use to shit on him just MAKES me defend him. Like bro makes money off his NAME he has to protect his reputation.
Destiny is obviously not a smart person …. I could never respect or listen to a man that allows this kinda relationship shows he dosent respect himself …. So how could any other man respect you?
Someone who truly loves you won’t feel like it’s a sacrifice not to be with someone else. They’ll just want to be with you, these open relationships people have issues
Lol "loving" someone doesn't magically make you cock-blind to hot women
If an open relationship doesn't doesn't instantly concern you then you habe serious commitment issues. Huge red flag stay clear
I feel for him, he'll never have what so many of us were lucky to find.
Most men won’t lol.
Usually if you use the same screw to screw something up. And it keeps falling apart it might be the screws fault.
it's okay for relationships to end
Depends on how.
Only if you're 20 with nothing to lose. Women's market value declines steadily with age, so wasting too much of your youth with the wrong partner, is not without permanent consequences.
Not marriages
because they enrich your life@@AetheriusComics
@@AetheriusComics because relationships with others are a beautiful part of life, go out and live
He said that most relationships fail but that wasn't the point. It is more likely for a relationship to fail when it's open. I know he even admitted that on one of his streams but still. They should not have let him get away with that line of argumentation. Yes most relationships fail but old couples that have been together for decades are rarely in an open relationship. I am not aware of a single one that made that model work long time.
She didn’t respect him as a man
And you probably don't respect women at all. She doesn't need to respect him as a man she needs to respect him as a person because what gender you are has absolutely no bearing on the conversation. Men and women are equal we should not respect another individual just because of what gender they are
He didn't act like a man worthy of respect
I do not buy that he is emotionally sort of like stable and does not experience things intensily. If someone bothers him, he does not even adress it..but let it build up, like in a passive agressive way and then suddenly throws people out. To me it sounds like he keeps his emotions to himself to protect himself. If he was not so emotional, he would not sound so mad and irritated the whole time, but rather more rational and neutral in terms of emotion.
A few mins later he admits he bans people if he forgot to eat and apparently regretts how he just acted or felt. How emotionally stable does that seem?
Oh we all saw that one coming. It's Destiny
Open marriages need so many more explicit rules to even have a prayer of working. In the end Destiny's ex had a relationship that violated, in his mind, the rules of their open marriage. Nothing involving divorce is that simple, but I do think it was inevitable if two people didn't really agree to the rules of the open marriage.
It is like any marriage where they never agreed on having kids or where to live etc...
I actually felt myself getting less intelligent the more this guy kept talking