I have never had a routine and I have no idea how to create one either. I do some stuff in a specific pattern, but I'm always anxious, I think because there is no structure to anything. I have made millions of lists, but they don't work. Lol!🤫
Thanks for this video.My daily routine is: get off the bed, brush my teeth (always in the same direction), take my shower , my personal coffee. Make my breakfast if my husband didn’t do it. Get dressed and make my hair, take my glasses on, put my breakfast in my backpack and get my things for going out on. And then I get my dog ready. Then we take a little round for peeing and then to work. I start my computer always the same way and open the necessary programs in a certain routine.My todolist at work changes, that’s okay. Then after work I go home and there’s no plan.I get really nervous and a bit unfriendly if I can’t arrive at work as I planned for that day.My evening routine is fast explained. Put pajamas on, brush teeth, put clothes for next day, go to bed, take my medicine, kiss my husband. Put the nightlight on, set my alarm clock. Go to WC one last time and sleep. Saturday is for nails cutting and other things more than normal shower. I hate shopping, but most time I go with my partner. Coming home unpacking the bought things.Sunday is washingmashine day and vacuuming day. O try not to be upset, if I vant watch the Big Bang theory, because my better half wants to see something else. Weekend is regaining sleep, because my life sucks very much energy.
Thanks for another great video Ella! I thought I'd tell you what my husband and I do for weekends. I am autistic and my husband has some traits but is NT. We have a quarter chart where we put activities - the chart is divided up into high energy, low energy, good weather and bad weather and then depending on how we feel on the day we will pick a thing, e.g. if we are low energy but the weather is good we might just sit in a pub garden, or by the river. If we are high energy and the weather is bad we might go indoor climbing or something like that, whatever activities we have put in that quadrant. This way we havent got the stress of thinking of something to do at the time or worrying that we might have overplanned ourselves and when the day comes we are disappointed.
Thank you for sharing this advice and your routine. It took me a long time to realize that one of the reasons I struggled so much after graduating college was that I started a freelance career (acting and film crew) and no longer had external structure imposed on me like I had at school. Also, my partner has a sleep disorder and has very irregular sleeping patterns, which make it challenging to have a consistent evening and morning routine. I've been struggling to find a solution to this for years, but I know I did much better when I had the routine of school, so I believe a routine will really help me once I figure it out.
I love you Purple Ella! Hearing you speak of your experiences is so informative and assuring for me. I am learning DBT and that helps me a lot. I was diagnosed at age 40 with Bipolar 2, mixed. Then when diagnosed w/ celiac disease at age 51, my psychiatrist "retired" the BP2 dx. I wonder about autism and personality disorder, and until clarity around that arises, I feel better listening to your comments. Thank you.
For me its a problem in relationships. Even if I find someone I really connect with (feels like wishful thinking), I dont know how to make room for them.
This is my first time watching one of your videos. So glad someone else appreciates the Lists app! I’ve struggled with sticking to my routines, but I’ve been looking for information on this. I found your video and it was SO needed! It makes so much more sense now. And the end was very relatable lol! Thanks for your content
I've watched a couple of your videos now as I'm about to go through the process to get diagnosed with autism, and wanted to know about autistic people's experiences. I'm so glad I found your channel because it's made me feel so much more at ease as you just talk so clearly through everything, and the advice you give makes me so happy because it's making me understand all the things I've struggled with and that there are ways to help! Thank you so much!!
I step out of my comfort zone sometimes, but usually i stick to a plan i made, its really detailed since my memory is not very good and i forget basic stuff, i got stuff on there that goes as far as planning what to dress in, take with me on a given day and scedule times to eat, drink, etc.. I also have procedures for certain routine changes, so when something is not happening right i can default to something. I used to get very stressed and confused because of last minute changes my mother made, plans she did not tell me about beforehand and unexpected change in the school setting.
Im struggling with an unexpected change in routine today and I came to this video wondering if there was anything I might be doing wrong and just to get another Autistic Adults opinions...turns out Ella and have the EXACT same system of laying out a daily routine around a skeleton, with flexible free time built in. (I find that if I don't mix up what I do that free time every few days they 'set' and the time becomes 'Warcraft time' for example). Its really reassuring to hear that im not alone in my routine structure and that it seems to be a good one. Thanks for the video Ella :)
Hello, I just watched this video today while waiting for my psychologist appointment. Low and behold today’s conversation was about routines and perfectionism. She is trying to get me to do a drastic change in my book (30 min only on my research topic for uni) and of course I’m resisting. I know she is trying to get me started and not to burn out but 30 min a day for a month is way too little. Yep, I’ve got all the excuses lined up in my book.
I have been for years, constantly changing in my routines, I had so much, things I do. Lost all of them on my phone this morning, exploded in anger, this his how I function
Is it possible to be autistic and not be super rigid with routines? I love routines, but I get at most annoyed when something has to change rather than distressed.
Me too, I get you on this! I get ready and changed (like clothing wise, in the morning) and sometimes if I’m in a rush or my mum tells me to do this before I do the other thing, i get a bit annoyed.
I’m Audhd and that seems to give me a bit more flexibility. In fact, with the work I do, I have a pretty regular schedule of randomness of what I do, which helps it not get too boring.
Good question! She has a newer video talking about mini routines and why you need the flexibility to keep from getting bored, or keeping from getting distressed with changes like appointments
What if you have a routine you want to stick to and your (or your husbands) friends come over unannounced, even when repeatedly asked to not show up randomly, without even calling first, and if I suddenly have to invite someone into my home and entertain guests, will pretty much make it so I’m unable to speak to them, while if I knew they were coming, I could plan for it. This causes me to shut down upon their arrival, and have a meltdown within a few days.. I prefer to not change my routine for unwanted guests..
There's nothing wrong with that. You should be able to have who you want in your home, when you want them in your home. If they keep not respecting your (you and your husband's) boundaries and their your husband's friends, he should put his foot down with them.
Our 10 year old daughter has recently be diagnosed with autism. I have no idea how to make her a routine. She would happily stay on her computer all day. We have tried to talk to her about autism she said nope don't want to talk about it. This is only the 3rd time I've tired to talk about it. The school have giving me information and a book to read with her but she has no interest. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you
I love Lists app too. And my calendar to tell me when things are. I do have a full on meltdown if my routines get messed with though. Myself and my partner know to stay out of each other's ways in the morning!
My parents need me to change my routine because of it starting too early in the morning(5:30) and interrupting their sleep. What should I do about this?
Is there any way you can avoid waking them? Otherwise if it won't make you late try waking up 5 minutes later every day until it doesn't bother them anymore.
i wrote a five year plan for personal development for the International Criminal Court 1. get a masters degree In internaitonal human right slaw 2. learn international human rights law 3. learn the rome statute 4. learn the six un languages thatw as sabina carlson' s assignment put omar al bashir in prison for the darfur genocide and that requires going to the International Criminal Court so i wrote a routine for the international criminal court
I don’t really rely on routines nor do I have a strict one, but I prefer them. (I only have routines on how I do things, shows I watch and loosely when I do things like homework or something like that.). I might be autistic but this is making me doubt myself. Could I still be autistic
I have never had a routine and I have no idea how to create one either. I do some stuff in a specific pattern, but I'm always anxious, I think because there is no structure to anything. I have made millions of lists, but they don't work. Lol!🤫
same!
Thanks for this video.My daily routine is: get off the bed, brush my teeth (always in the same direction), take my shower , my personal coffee. Make my breakfast if my husband didn’t do it. Get dressed and make my hair, take my glasses on, put my breakfast in my backpack and get my things for going out on. And then I get my dog ready. Then we take a little round for peeing and then to work. I start my computer always the same way and open the necessary programs in a certain routine.My todolist at work changes, that’s okay. Then after work I go home and there’s no plan.I get really nervous and a bit unfriendly if I can’t arrive at work as I planned for that day.My evening routine is fast explained. Put pajamas on, brush teeth, put clothes for next day, go to bed, take my medicine, kiss my husband. Put the nightlight on, set my alarm clock. Go to WC one last time and sleep.
Saturday is for nails cutting and other things more than normal shower. I hate shopping, but most time I go with my partner. Coming home unpacking the bought things.Sunday is washingmashine day and vacuuming day.
O try not to be upset, if I vant watch the Big Bang theory, because my better half wants to see something else. Weekend is regaining sleep, because my life sucks very much energy.
Thanks for another great video Ella!
I thought I'd tell you what my husband and I do for weekends. I am autistic and my husband has some traits but is NT. We have a quarter chart where we put activities - the chart is divided up into high energy, low energy, good weather and bad weather and then depending on how we feel on the day we will pick a thing, e.g. if we are low energy but the weather is good we might just sit in a pub garden, or by the river. If we are high energy and the weather is bad we might go indoor climbing or something like that, whatever activities we have put in that quadrant. This way we havent got the stress of thinking of something to do at the time or worrying that we might have overplanned ourselves and when the day comes we are disappointed.
That's such a great idea, thanks for sharing. I will definitely be using that to help us plan our leisure time.
Thank you for sharing this advice and your routine. It took me a long time to realize that one of the reasons I struggled so much after graduating college was that I started a freelance career (acting and film crew) and no longer had external structure imposed on me like I had at school. Also, my partner has a sleep disorder and has very irregular sleeping patterns, which make it challenging to have a consistent evening and morning routine. I've been struggling to find a solution to this for years, but I know I did much better when I had the routine of school, so I believe a routine will really help me once I figure it out.
ive got my ruteane in a note book on my living room table
I love you Purple Ella! Hearing you speak of your experiences is so informative and assuring for me. I am learning DBT and that helps me a lot. I was diagnosed at age 40 with Bipolar 2, mixed. Then when diagnosed w/ celiac disease at age 51, my psychiatrist "retired" the BP2 dx. I wonder about autism and personality disorder, and until clarity around that arises, I feel better listening to your comments. Thank you.
For me its a problem in relationships. Even if I find someone I really connect with (feels like wishful thinking), I dont know how to make room for them.
This is my first time watching one of your videos. So glad someone else appreciates the Lists app! I’ve struggled with sticking to my routines, but I’ve been looking for information on this. I found your video and it was SO needed! It makes so much more sense now. And the end was very relatable lol! Thanks for your content
I've watched a couple of your videos now as I'm about to go through the process to get diagnosed with autism, and wanted to know about autistic people's experiences. I'm so glad I found your channel because it's made me feel so much more at ease as you just talk so clearly through everything, and the advice you give makes me so happy because it's making me understand all the things I've struggled with and that there are ways to help! Thank you so much!!
Extremely helpful. Thank you very much. What you’re doing is definitely worth doing! ❤️
I step out of my comfort zone sometimes, but usually i stick to a plan i made, its really detailed since my memory is not very good and i forget basic stuff, i got stuff on there that goes as far as planning what to dress in, take with me on a given day and scedule times to eat, drink, etc..
I also have procedures for certain routine changes, so when something is not happening right i can default to something. I used to get very stressed and confused because of last minute changes my mother made, plans she did not tell me about beforehand and unexpected change in the school setting.
Im struggling with an unexpected change in routine today and I came to this video wondering if there was anything I might be doing wrong and just to get another Autistic Adults opinions...turns out Ella and have the EXACT same system of laying out a daily routine around a skeleton, with flexible free time built in. (I find that if I don't mix up what I do that free time every few days they 'set' and the time becomes 'Warcraft time' for example).
Its really reassuring to hear that im not alone in my routine structure and that it seems to be a good one. Thanks for the video Ella :)
I had a big change in my routine till school is back on and I’m stressed
Thank you it is nice and reassuring to know other people have routines too
Hello, I just watched this video today while waiting for my psychologist appointment. Low and behold today’s conversation was about routines and perfectionism. She is trying to get me to do a drastic change in my book (30 min only on my research topic for uni) and of course I’m resisting. I know she is trying to get me started and not to burn out but 30 min a day for a month is way too little. Yep, I’ve got all the excuses lined up in my book.
I have been for years, constantly changing in my routines, I had so much, things I do. Lost all of them on my phone this morning, exploded in anger, this his how I function
Is it possible to be autistic and not be super rigid with routines? I love routines, but I get at most annoyed when something has to change rather than distressed.
Me too, I get you on this! I get ready and changed (like clothing wise, in the morning) and sometimes if I’m in a rush or my mum tells me to do this before I do the other thing, i get a bit annoyed.
I’m Audhd and that seems to give me a bit more flexibility. In fact, with the work I do, I have a pretty regular schedule of randomness of what I do, which helps it not get too boring.
Good question! She has a newer video talking about mini routines and why you need the flexibility to keep from getting bored, or keeping from getting distressed with changes like appointments
I loved your video on routines.I learned was autistic way late in life and was always very into routines.
What if you have a routine you want to stick to and your (or your husbands) friends come over unannounced, even when repeatedly asked to not show up randomly, without even calling first, and if I suddenly have to invite someone into my home and entertain guests, will pretty much make it so I’m unable to speak to them, while if I knew they were coming, I could plan for it. This causes me to shut down upon their arrival, and have a meltdown within a few days.. I prefer to not change my routine for unwanted guests..
There's nothing wrong with that. You should be able to have who you want in your home, when you want them in your home. If they keep not respecting your (you and your husband's) boundaries and their your husband's friends, he should put his foot down with them.
Our 10 year old daughter has recently be diagnosed with autism. I have no idea how to make her a routine. She would happily stay on her computer all day. We have tried to talk to her about autism she said nope don't want to talk about it. This is only the 3rd time I've tired to talk about it. The school have giving me information and a book to read with her but she has no interest. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you
At 7:40 when you said “I may meet up with a friend; go wild!” I laughed out loud cause that’s literally me
I love Lists app too. And my calendar to tell me when things are.
I do have a full on meltdown if my routines get messed with though. Myself and my partner know to stay out of each other's ways in the morning!
I love your videos. Thank you so much!
anna w thank you.
You are great. Helpful. Thanks
I have an autistic 18 yr old daughter and I love your video because you a female. Keep posting!
Thank you
I absolutely love your channel! 🙋♀️💜💜💜
OMG.. it’s in words..
I have free times too and I check what I have to do omg yes I do that to !
My parents need me to change my routine because of it starting too early in the morning(5:30) and interrupting their sleep. What should I do about this?
Get them earplugs and eye covers (?)
Is there any way you can avoid waking them? Otherwise if it won't make you late try waking up 5 minutes later every day until it doesn't bother them anymore.
I love your Wall-E In the back!!!
i wrote a five year plan for personal development for the International Criminal Court
1. get a masters degree In internaitonal human right slaw
2. learn international human rights law
3. learn the rome statute
4. learn the six un languages
thatw as sabina carlson' s assignment put omar al bashir in prison for the darfur genocide and that requires going to the International Criminal Court so i wrote a routine for the international criminal court
This was so helpful!
I need my routeins
Thanks for video
How did you get diagnosed. I believe i am asd and so are my two kids
I don’t really rely on routines nor do I have a strict one, but I prefer them. (I only have routines on how I do things, shows I watch and loosely when I do things like homework or something like that.). I might be autistic but this is making me doubt myself. Could I still be autistic
I don’t understand why I half to change stuff bc I like it and when I get upset I will just find some way to cope
I learned new things
Can't do flexible
I need to pen down each and everything from hour to hour or I go 🤯
P