I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes trying to think of the best or most appropriate or right thing to say (whatever those things mean). This video is a big deal, and I’m so happy you made it. And I want to mark it, as your friend, as best I can. And all I have, in the end, is that I just love you, Will. Whatever you are, whatever you want to be, I wish their was more of you. Whatever you are, the world needs more of it, so every step you take towards something that feels true is right and important and Good. But if I may, I also want to shout out Jess here, and how unbelievably beautiful she seems to have been through this journey. Deciding to wear heels in public for the first time can be scary; doing it in front of your partner, whose love and acceptance is so much more important, is ten times so. That she has been so supportive and loving and welcoming and encouraging speaks the world of her. That trust you two have is so incredibly special and she deserves so much credit for it, also. Two of my faves, always. ♥️💛💚🧡🤎
When I was in high school I told a girl I was dating that I wanted to get a tattoo on my 18th birthday. To this day, I still remember her tone when she said, "We'll see about that." Counter that with Jess, a partner who only ever wants me to be happy (and I do my best to reciprocate). I couldn't be me without her by my side and I love you for recognising her and the support she gives me. You're a very, very special man and I'm so happy to have you in my life xxx
Willow, it to me until 62 years old - that was 3-1/2 years ago - to figure out what you learned about yourself much sooner. I wondered why I bristled internally anyone called me Sir or Mr. Yes, I feel somewhere in the middle, still working out pronouns too. I wasn’t resistant to non-binary once I realized that was a possibility as opposed to either/or, however they/them seemed less easy to grasp. But your explanation they/them as being able to shift internally to reflect your multiple sides makes loads of sense. So a huge thank you!
I remember when I was first figuring my gender out I made no requests for a pronoun change for the same reason as you: being called a girl or woman was what bothered me. But once I was visiting my partner (he has a really diverse set of friends gender-wise and later told me he defaults to they if he is unsure) and he mentioned me in passing as ‘they’ to a friend in the pub with us - it was like a jolt of lightning through me. So, I tried it out, told my friends, and the next time I went to see him, all of his friends used they for me and I just felt bathed in this tranquility I hadn’t felt before. It’s important to share these stories, thanks for sharing yours.
Straight, cis woman here - just wanna say it takes a lot of courage to come on TH-cam and talk about your journey! Just be yourself, the best person you can be ! 😊
I hope I am not being too effusive, but there is something magic about you which makes me love your book reviews way more than all the others I read, however amateur or professional. I had a sense of what it was but couldn’t put it into words until this video. It’s that you speak from your heart in a completely open, undefensive way, saying what you think while admitting when you’re not sure about it, whether because of details you can’t quite remember or opinions you haven’t quite settled. Maybe a bit challenging at times, but very liberating (or at least so I’m imagining).
That is very, very sweet of you. Honestly, you've made my entire week, thank you. I do take pride in wearing my heart on my sleeve and hoping that works out for me. I get mocked by friends and strangers alike for having too much enthusiasm sometimes but I don't know how to be any different. I've also mostly left written reviews behind in an attempt to build this channel instead. Getting responses like yours have really made that decision worth it. So thank you again.
I know this is an older video, but I'm recently subscribed & love your channel. I am a Boomer & have never understood anything other than straight, gay, bi or lesbian terms. In my heart of hearts she/her & he/him are the only pronouns that were valid, and I know I've been ignorant, insensitive & wrong. There really is no excuse for being willfully ignorant. THIS video helps me so very much. I am determined to do better. I have to say thank you 1000+ times for explaining your journey because no amount of googling has helped me understand too much of anything. 💜 you for sharing & educating me and hopefully people like me that "don't get it". We're all a work in progress.
I am a 66 year old who was raised very conservatively. I have been on a journey of turning my beliefs upside down. Finding you today on TH-cam was wonderful! You are beautiful and I thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with me. I’m subscribing because I love your book choices and reviews, but mostly because you are an inspiring person and I appreciate you.
This has been in my playlist to watch for a few days now and I was so surprised to see you start the video talking about Laura Jane Grace! I'm reading her book right now and it's so good! I heard about her book from an interview with Trevor Noah that she did. I wasnt familiar with her music but I was so excited to see you mention her in your video. Thanks so much for sharing your story and your journey!!❤
Thanks so much for letting us hear your journey. It feels very affirming and validating to me when I can listen to other's questioning the gender status quo. As a baby boomer child, there were and are standards of behavior to follow and it took me until my 40s to challenge them and identify as a lesbian. I would love a gender-fluid world with no gender rules. I believe we are heading in that direction thanks to those who speak up and speak out.
Really appreciated this video. Really important discussions to be having. Your discussion about finding it hard to talk about these kind of topics with people outside your partner really resonated with me. The general public don't understand queerness and gender fluidity and it feels shit to open up to people about your identity and have them ask you a million intrusive questions that you are still trying to figure out for yourself. Much love.
That's exactly it. In the internet space, especially Twitter, it's pretty easy. But if Gary down the pub calls me a bloke, I'm not going to feel comfortable correcting and explaining myself to him. I have to express myself in the best way I can, but I'm still figuring that out. It's a fun journey!
@@WillowTalksBooks hoping in my lifetime it will be that way, millennials and gen z have definitely grown up having these conversations out in the open which is amazing. Watching drag race UK on bb3 this week and two contestants had a conversation about being non binary, don't think I've ever seen it talked about on mainstream tv before so that's fantastic.
Freedom to be ourselves is a person choice and no-one should judge another. Some have to fight bigotry to be free unfortunately. It's lovely to see an open personality speak their own truth
Thank you so much for this video. It was so uplifting. It felt like you were answering all the questions i've had swimming in my head this past year. This late in life, i've felt awkward to even acknowledge the fact that I feel different and why I do so more now. But then I realise that i have always felt out of place where gender is concerned because of the very things you talk about. Like you said, it's a journey and likewise for me the destination is not as important as the road to re-self- discovery I am in. For me, it was someone very close to me being nonbinary that really got me into realising that all my life i have been told I should behave in a certain way based on the gender I was assigned at birth and although i've hated all that talk, I have never really questioned it.
Isn't it amazing how things we've always felt can only be put into words or fully explored once we see it in other people or find some outside connection? This is why representation matters. So many of us now are getting to find ourselves and it's like a quiet revolution. I love it. I'm glad you're on this journey as well; it really warms my heart!
It's interesting looking back and seeing all the times part of me was aware of my gender when the majority of me was wearing blinders. It's how I ended up with both a non-binary and a they/them pronoun pin over a year before I actually consciously realised what I was struggling with genderwise. Online forms were also a big clue. I found myself getting more distressed when only male/female options were given.
Thank you for your honesty, this video is so inspiring! I discovered your channel a few days ago after a really exhausting and sometimes even crappy day - and watching you talk so eloquently and passionately about books really made my day. Now I found this video and I really admire your courage to tell your story so openly on TH-cam. Thanks for everything! :-)
I'm so glad that my videos brought you some joy on a bad day! And I hope that wearing my heart on my sleeve occasionally will inspire and bring comfort to a few other people, too.
Mayte, remember when we used to play gay chicken and just kiss? You were always someone that campaigned for the alternative to the norm. I really appreciate your perspective, as it helps me to understand mine, which I've been reflecting on a lot in the last few years. I completely relate to the idea of having a male and female inside you, and moving fluidly between those ideas. However, I feel I have embraced it differently; rather than ruminating on which pronouns I'd prefer to identify with, I like to think that I'd like to destablise how those pronouns are perceived, purely because I want to move past the terms masculine and feminine. I think that you are a great example for this kind of thought. You differentiate clearly between sexuality and gender, and see that there is a beyond to the typical limits of those terms, whereas many people seem to get wrapped up in the two as a linked concept. Like you, I wear makeup and clothing marketed towards women, but I would happily identify as "a man" just as much as I would "a woman". I don't embody the stereotypical masculine values of what perceive perceive as "manliness" (and you know I have never tried to), but I don't feel that I have to answer to that calling. It was our friendship in college - although I didn't understand it at the time - where those distinctions between what society had conditioned and perpetuated as male and female, masculine and feminine, men and women all seemed to slip between each other and become superfluous to what a person is. Of course, this is only my experience with the topic, and I appreciate that mine interpretation in over seven billion. It's really great to hear your perspective on this, and to hear you speak openly about your personal non-binary journey. Thank you for the video. Shout-out to 'The Goldfinch' too. x
Hi there, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey as it is so far. I’m currently questioning my own gender identity and hearing your story thus far was encouraging. 🏳️🌈
Im afab i thought I was trans at first but the more i thought about it it just started not to clique especially when i found out about non binary cause I do still like the feminin side of my voice when i do impressions and pretty clothes but I perfer my more masc side. Its weird to try to sort it out
Thank you Will for this video. Thank goodness for you. Thank goodness that my children have access to videos and media like this. I hope you feel the love.
Thanks for this video, congratulations! It's great to hear your story of self-discovery and personal freedom, your thoughts on gender and how our prejudices are often rooted in ignorance and rules which we can break down and overcome, and how books helped you learn about your own identities and other identities - keep being yourself, doing what you want and being brilliant
If I may ask about your opinion: what do you think is the difference between gender identity and gender expression? How to tell whether your cis but just have a nonbinary gender expression and when you are just nonbinary?
That's an interesting question, with probably a lot of different takes. One perspective that jumped to mind is that gender is just expression. Gender is nothing more than how we choose to (or are expected to) dress, walk, and talk. Or maybe the difference simply comes down to how you feel, on a case-by-case basis. I certainly don't have a solid answer but I do think confidence is important. Asserting your gender identity clearly is important when it comes to non-cis people being taken seriously, if that makes sense.
@@WillowTalksBooks Thank you for your reponse. I'm wodering because I know that there are for example cis-women whose gender expression is masculine. So that got me wonder.
I have a question. for the past two years I've been in between thinking I am 100% non-binary, and the next day kicking myself for thinking that, and telling myself I'm cis. and I still can't tell what the heck I am. and I really want to experiment by wearing more masculine clothes, and having my hair shorter, but I'm really uncomfortable asking permission (because I am young and live with my parents) to shop in the men's section, or to experiment like this... because what if I'm wrong? on one hand, I wake up some days and berede myself in my head and tell myself I'm just a girl and that's it, but on the other hand, I've been feeling out of place for like two years and I'm starting to lose my mind over this. if it's this hard to tell, does it mean I'm just questioning and I'm not non-binary??? I'm lost...
I was going through the exact same cycle of feelings. My partner pointed out that cis people don't tend to have these thoughts, and if the thoughts aren't going away then you have your answer. Basically, if you constantly wonder if you're NB, you're probably NB. But also, it's chill. Nothing has to change. There are no rules. All you're trying to do is feel good and comfortable in your own skin. Coming out as NB helped me tackle gender dysphoria and feel some actual self-love. I hope this helped!
Being no binary is serious and coming out about it can have large implications on your life, changing the way people see you. You need to take a long time to think about it. Other people are less likely understand it if you haven't take the time to understand and accept it yourself.
Here to say that you are seen and appreciated! I feel very similarly. I don’t mind she/her pronouns, but very much don’t like being called a woman, and feel euphoric if someone calls me he/him/sir, etc. Have to say, though, that I’ve grown progressively uncomfortable with she/her pronouns as the cultural obsession around pronouns has grown - I’m deeply bothered that notions of masculine or feminine (or perceived gender) be placed front and center of identity (ie, on email signatures, Twitter handles, etc.). For that I nearly feel agender.
I couldn't feel more similarly! When I see other cultures (Japan is a good example) using genderless honourifics like -san it really makes me feel angry at our gender-obdessed societal structure.
Thanks for sharing your journey Will. My understanding of the non binary community grew, when you used the words sometimes. I really also appreciated that you are in the middle of an exploration of what is right for you and this may mean that things will change in the future. I follow your channel because of the thoughtful way you negotiate the world. You challenge my ideas with grace and integrity and I am grateful to have found your voice.
Thank you for sharing this! If you wouldn't mind, I would be interested to hear your thoughts about, how you probably might feel, if the definition of masculinity or being male, wouldn't be as bad as they are in our society right now. Do you think the current one also plays a role in you feeling so uncomfortable in being called a man? Of course you don't have to answer this.
That's actually something I've thought about a lot! Like, hypothetically, if the definition of masculine or the general attitude towards masculinity was more healthy, would I be more comfortable simply being a man? Maybe! I don't know. That's why this is an ongoing journey. It feels like self-discovery never ends.
Your relationship with pronouns is sort of like mine. I feel like I may be non binary but I don't get all messed up when people refer to me as she, and I refer to myself as female. However I don't like being called a girl and pushed towards "other girls" socially. I don't feel as though I am one of them. I don't hate them, I'm friends with them, but I feel inherently different. It deeply upsets me when I feel as if I'm being invalidated by males, because I gravitate more towards them naturally. I just want to be viewed as "one of the guys" even if i'm a little different. I appreciate the so called "female body" I was born with other than maybe the size of my chest. Everything else is fine by me. Honestly I'm still working it out but your story helped me feel less alone
It's a complicated journey, isn't it? And we all come to different conclusions. Your attitude sounds a lot like my partner's. She's happy with her pronouns, loves to dress 'androgynously', and can't stand the size of her chest. But she doesn't feel like the non-binary label fits her. I feel like it fits me more and more as time passes. Maybe you'll feel the same, maybe you won't. No story is invalid.
The fuss about this is movement getting very tedious and people will start to distance themselves soon. Be ready with a fall back option when this trend falls out of favour.
@@WillowTalksBooks Disc golf is a much more accessible fall back option. I’ll teach you everything I know when this tedious trend of ours falls out of favour.
@@WillowTalksBooks 😂 shhhhh. Don’t let the old white golf men hear you say that. We can’t have our fall back option seen as tedious and fussy too! ...though we might still be good. It’s hard to imagine something as dull as golf ever falling out of favour.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes trying to think of the best or most appropriate or right thing to say (whatever those things mean). This video is a big deal, and I’m so happy you made it. And I want to mark it, as your friend, as best I can. And all I have, in the end, is that I just love you, Will. Whatever you are, whatever you want to be, I wish their was more of you. Whatever you are, the world needs more of it, so every step you take towards something that feels true is right and important and Good. But if I may, I also want to shout out Jess here, and how unbelievably beautiful she seems to have been through this journey. Deciding to wear heels in public for the first time can be scary; doing it in front of your partner, whose love and acceptance is so much more important, is ten times so. That she has been so supportive and loving and welcoming and encouraging speaks the world of her. That trust you two have is so incredibly special and she deserves so much credit for it, also. Two of my faves, always.
♥️💛💚🧡🤎
When I was in high school I told a girl I was dating that I wanted to get a tattoo on my 18th birthday. To this day, I still remember her tone when she said, "We'll see about that." Counter that with Jess, a partner who only ever wants me to be happy (and I do my best to reciprocate). I couldn't be me without her by my side and I love you for recognising her and the support she gives me. You're a very, very special man and I'm so happy to have you in my life xxx
Willow, it to me until 62 years old - that was 3-1/2 years ago - to figure out what you learned about yourself much sooner. I wondered why I bristled internally anyone called me Sir or Mr. Yes, I feel somewhere in the middle, still working out pronouns too. I wasn’t resistant to non-binary once I realized that was a possibility as opposed to either/or, however they/them seemed less easy to grasp.
But your explanation they/them as being able to shift internally to reflect your multiple sides makes loads of sense. So a huge thank you!
I remember when I was first figuring my gender out I made no requests for a pronoun change for the same reason as you: being called a girl or woman was what bothered me. But once I was visiting my partner (he has a really diverse set of friends gender-wise and later told me he defaults to they if he is unsure) and he mentioned me in passing as ‘they’ to a friend in the pub with us - it was like a jolt of lightning through me. So, I tried it out, told my friends, and the next time I went to see him, all of his friends used they for me and I just felt bathed in this tranquility I hadn’t felt before.
It’s important to share these stories, thanks for sharing yours.
My god, what an uplifting story! I can see that being a step I take in the near future. Thank you!
Straight, cis woman here - just wanna say it takes a lot of courage to come on TH-cam and talk about your journey!
Just be yourself, the best person you can be ! 😊
Thank you very, very much! 💜
I hope I am not being too effusive, but there is something magic about you which makes me love your book reviews way more than all the others I read, however amateur or professional. I had a sense of what it was but couldn’t put it into words until this video. It’s that you speak from your heart in a completely open, undefensive way, saying what you think while admitting when you’re not sure about it, whether because of details you can’t quite remember or opinions you haven’t quite settled. Maybe a bit challenging at times, but very liberating (or at least so I’m imagining).
That is very, very sweet of you. Honestly, you've made my entire week, thank you. I do take pride in wearing my heart on my sleeve and hoping that works out for me. I get mocked by friends and strangers alike for having too much enthusiasm sometimes but I don't know how to be any different. I've also mostly left written reviews behind in an attempt to build this channel instead. Getting responses like yours have really made that decision worth it. So thank you again.
I totally agree.
Completely ❤️
I know this is an older video, but I'm recently subscribed & love your channel. I am a Boomer & have never understood anything other than straight, gay, bi or lesbian terms. In my heart of hearts she/her & he/him are the only pronouns that were valid, and I know I've been ignorant, insensitive & wrong. There really is no excuse for being willfully ignorant. THIS video helps me so very much. I am determined to do better. I have to say thank you 1000+ times for explaining your journey because no amount of googling has helped me understand too much of anything. 💜 you for sharing & educating me and hopefully people like me that "don't get it". We're all a work in progress.
I am a 66 year old who was raised very conservatively. I have been on a journey of turning my beliefs upside down. Finding you today on TH-cam was wonderful! You are beautiful and I thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with me. I’m subscribing because I love your book choices and reviews, but mostly because you are an inspiring person and I appreciate you.
This has been in my playlist to watch for a few days now and I was so surprised to see you start the video talking about Laura Jane Grace! I'm reading her book right now and it's so good! I heard about her book from an interview with Trevor Noah that she did. I wasnt familiar with her music but I was so excited to see you mention her in your video. Thanks so much for sharing your story and your journey!!❤
Thanks for watching and enjoying! Grace and her music mean the world to me
Thanks so much for letting us hear your journey. It feels very affirming and validating to me when I can listen to other's questioning the gender status quo. As a baby boomer child, there were and are standards of behavior to follow and it took me until my 40s to challenge them and identify as a lesbian. I would love a gender-fluid world with no gender rules. I believe we are heading in that direction thanks to those who speak up and speak out.
Really appreciated this video. Really important discussions to be having. Your discussion about finding it hard to talk about these kind of topics with people outside your partner really resonated with me. The general public don't understand queerness and gender fluidity and it feels shit to open up to people about your identity and have them ask you a million intrusive questions that you are still trying to figure out for yourself. Much love.
That's exactly it. In the internet space, especially Twitter, it's pretty easy. But if Gary down the pub calls me a bloke, I'm not going to feel comfortable correcting and explaining myself to him. I have to express myself in the best way I can, but I'm still figuring that out. It's a fun journey!
@@WillowTalksBooks hoping in my lifetime it will be that way, millennials and gen z have definitely grown up having these conversations out in the open which is amazing. Watching drag race UK on bb3 this week and two contestants had a conversation about being non binary, don't think I've ever seen it talked about on mainstream tv before so that's fantastic.
@@MishelleLexi I loved that as well. Ginny Lemon is an inspiration.
Freedom to be ourselves is a person choice and no-one should judge another. Some have to fight bigotry to be free unfortunately. It's lovely to see an open personality speak their own truth
honesty i dont care about your identity , you can be what every you want to, i just really like your videos :)
Thank you so much for this video. It was so uplifting. It felt like you were answering all the questions i've had swimming in my head this past year. This late in life, i've felt awkward to even acknowledge the fact that I feel different and why I do so more now. But then I realise that i have always felt out of place where gender is concerned because of the very things you talk about. Like you said, it's a journey and likewise for me the destination is not as important as the road to re-self- discovery I am in. For me, it was someone very close to me being nonbinary that really got me into realising that all my life i have been told I should behave in a certain way based on the gender I was assigned at birth and although i've hated all that talk, I have never really questioned it.
Isn't it amazing how things we've always felt can only be put into words or fully explored once we see it in other people or find some outside connection? This is why representation matters. So many of us now are getting to find ourselves and it's like a quiet revolution. I love it. I'm glad you're on this journey as well; it really warms my heart!
It's interesting looking back and seeing all the times part of me was aware of my gender when the majority of me was wearing blinders. It's how I ended up with both a non-binary and a they/them pronoun pin over a year before I actually consciously realised what I was struggling with genderwise.
Online forms were also a big clue. I found myself getting more distressed when only male/female options were given.
Holy moly do I feel this. Hits like a truck.
Thank you for sharing some of your journey with us. Sending you so much support on your journey of self-discovery ❤ xx
Thank you for your honesty, this video is so inspiring!
I discovered your channel a few days ago after a really exhausting and sometimes even crappy day - and watching you talk so eloquently and passionately about books really made my day. Now I found this video and I really admire your courage to tell your story so openly on TH-cam. Thanks for everything! :-)
I'm so glad that my videos brought you some joy on a bad day! And I hope that wearing my heart on my sleeve occasionally will inspire and bring comfort to a few other people, too.
Mayte, remember when we used to play gay chicken and just kiss? You were always someone that campaigned for the alternative to the norm.
I really appreciate your perspective, as it helps me to understand mine, which I've been reflecting on a lot in the last few years. I completely relate to the idea of having a male and female inside you, and moving fluidly between those ideas. However, I feel I have embraced it differently; rather than ruminating on which pronouns I'd prefer to identify with, I like to think that I'd like to destablise how those pronouns are perceived, purely because I want to move past the terms masculine and feminine.
I think that you are a great example for this kind of thought. You differentiate clearly between sexuality and gender, and see that there is a beyond to the typical limits of those terms, whereas many people seem to get wrapped up in the two as a linked concept. Like you, I wear makeup and clothing marketed towards women, but I would happily identify as "a man" just as much as I would "a woman". I don't embody the stereotypical masculine values of what perceive perceive as "manliness" (and you know I have never tried to), but I don't feel that I have to answer to that calling. It was our friendship in college - although I didn't understand it at the time - where those distinctions between what society had conditioned and perpetuated as male and female, masculine and feminine, men and women all seemed to slip between each other and become superfluous to what a person is.
Of course, this is only my experience with the topic, and I appreciate that mine interpretation in over seven billion. It's really great to hear your perspective on this, and to hear you speak openly about your personal non-binary journey. Thank you for the video.
Shout-out to 'The Goldfinch' too. x
Thank you for beautifully conveying something so personal, something that I am sad to say I knew very little about. I love you Will. Thank you.
I love you, too, beautiful man.
Hi there, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey as it is so far. I’m currently questioning my own gender identity and hearing your story thus far was encouraging. 🏳️🌈
Thank you for clarifying….love your reviews, your personal story and love how honest you are with us, your followers….they/ them I learnt today….😉😉
Thank you, I didnt know much about the subject, I must admit It. Now I do and I think It is very brave of you.
Im afab i thought I was trans at first but the more i thought about it it just started not to clique especially when i found out about non binary cause I do still like the feminin side of my voice when i do impressions and pretty clothes but I perfer my more masc side. Its weird to try to sort it out
💕💕💕 And I'm looking forward to reading Mordew even more now.
Thank you Will for this video. Thank goodness for you. Thank goodness that my children have access to videos and media like this. I hope you feel the love.
I really, really do, thanks to responses like yours. Thank you so much.
@@WillowTalksBooks You’re very welcome
This is so beautiful. 🥺 Thank you for being you and for the work that you do. All the light and happiness for you and Jess. 🤍
Thank you so much for showing kindness and appreciation 💜
Idk why but this hit me hard deep inside almost as if something clicked, I am happy for you. ❤️
Wow, thank you so much. Even more has changed for me in the months since I made this. Sincerely, I'm glad this resonated with you 💜
it is important to remember that non binary is an umbrella term thats why 1 non binary individual can be drastically different to another
Yup
Anyone who gives this a thumbs down, look me up. I will ruin you.
I love you, Will. You're one of my heroes.
Thanks for this video, congratulations! It's great to hear your story of self-discovery and personal freedom, your thoughts on gender and how our prejudices are often rooted in ignorance and rules which we can break down and overcome, and how books helped you learn about your own identities and other identities - keep being yourself, doing what you want and being brilliant
Wow thank you so much! A response like yours honestly means everything. I want to frame it! Thanks again; you've made my day.
Came here for the books but learnt something more. Good luck on your journey you seem like a great non binary person
Thank you so much!
If I may ask about your opinion: what do you think is the difference between gender identity and gender expression? How to tell whether your cis but just have a nonbinary gender expression and when you are just nonbinary?
That's an interesting question, with probably a lot of different takes. One perspective that jumped to mind is that gender is just expression. Gender is nothing more than how we choose to (or are expected to) dress, walk, and talk. Or maybe the difference simply comes down to how you feel, on a case-by-case basis. I certainly don't have a solid answer but I do think confidence is important. Asserting your gender identity clearly is important when it comes to non-cis people being taken seriously, if that makes sense.
@@WillowTalksBooks Thank you for your reponse. I'm wodering because I know that there are for example cis-women whose gender expression is masculine. So that got me wonder.
I have a question. for the past two years I've been in between thinking I am 100% non-binary, and the next day kicking myself for thinking that, and telling myself I'm cis. and I still can't tell what the heck I am. and I really want to experiment by wearing more masculine clothes, and having my hair shorter, but I'm really uncomfortable asking permission (because I am young and live with my parents) to shop in the men's section, or to experiment like this... because what if I'm wrong? on one hand, I wake up some days and berede myself in my head and tell myself I'm just a girl and that's it, but on the other hand, I've been feeling out of place for like two years and I'm starting to lose my mind over this. if it's this hard to tell, does it mean I'm just questioning and I'm not non-binary??? I'm lost...
I was going through the exact same cycle of feelings. My partner pointed out that cis people don't tend to have these thoughts, and if the thoughts aren't going away then you have your answer. Basically, if you constantly wonder if you're NB, you're probably NB. But also, it's chill. Nothing has to change. There are no rules. All you're trying to do is feel good and comfortable in your own skin. Coming out as NB helped me tackle gender dysphoria and feel some actual self-love. I hope this helped!
@@WillowTalksBooks this did help, a lot! thank you!!
Being no binary is serious and coming out about it can have large implications on your life, changing the way people see you. You need to take a long time to think about it. Other people are less likely understand it if you haven't take the time to understand and accept it yourself.
@@rhinoromp5164 that's very true
Here to say that you are seen and appreciated! I feel very similarly. I don’t mind she/her pronouns, but very much don’t like being called a woman, and feel euphoric if someone calls me he/him/sir, etc. Have to say, though, that I’ve grown progressively uncomfortable with she/her pronouns as the cultural obsession around pronouns has grown - I’m deeply bothered that notions of masculine or feminine (or perceived gender) be placed front and center of identity (ie, on email signatures, Twitter handles, etc.). For that I nearly feel agender.
I couldn't feel more similarly! When I see other cultures (Japan is a good example) using genderless honourifics like -san it really makes me feel angry at our gender-obdessed societal structure.
12:47 made me think of captain america's "no, I don't think I will."
I needed this video. Thank you very much for being so honest. It was really enlightening.
You are so very welcome. I hope it helped you in some way!
This is a great video Will! I really love hearing about your journey and a lot of it really resonated with me.
Thanks for sharing your journey Will. My understanding of the non binary community grew, when you used the words sometimes. I really also appreciated that you are in the middle of an exploration of what is right for you and this may mean that things will change in the future. I follow your channel because of the thoughtful way you negotiate the world. You challenge my ideas with grace and integrity and I am grateful to have found your voice.
Thank you for sharing this! If you wouldn't mind, I would be interested to hear your thoughts about, how you probably might feel, if the definition of masculinity or being male, wouldn't be as bad as they are in our society right now. Do you think the current one also plays a role in you feeling so uncomfortable in being called a man? Of course you don't have to answer this.
That's actually something I've thought about a lot! Like, hypothetically, if the definition of masculine or the general attitude towards masculinity was more healthy, would I be more comfortable simply being a man? Maybe! I don't know. That's why this is an ongoing journey. It feels like self-discovery never ends.
this is great xx
Thank you!
💛💜🖤🌿
Thank you for this video. You are very lovely.
Omg so are you, Jill
well this video is making me question my reality 😂
Hooray!
Your relationship with pronouns is sort of like mine. I feel like I may be non binary but I don't get all messed up when people refer to me as she, and I refer to myself as female. However I don't like being called a girl and pushed towards "other girls" socially. I don't feel as though I am one of them. I don't hate them, I'm friends with them, but I feel inherently different. It deeply upsets me when I feel as if I'm being invalidated by males, because I gravitate more towards them naturally. I just want to be viewed as "one of the guys" even if i'm a little different. I appreciate the so called "female body" I was born with other than maybe the size of my chest. Everything else is fine by me. Honestly I'm still working it out but your story helped me feel less alone
It's a complicated journey, isn't it? And we all come to different conclusions. Your attitude sounds a lot like my partner's. She's happy with her pronouns, loves to dress 'androgynously', and can't stand the size of her chest. But she doesn't feel like the non-binary label fits her. I feel like it fits me more and more as time passes. Maybe you'll feel the same, maybe you won't. No story is invalid.
See you and appreciate you
The fuss about this is movement getting very tedious and people will start to distance themselves soon. Be ready with a fall back option when this trend falls out of favour.
lol thanks will do. Might take up golf.
@@WillowTalksBooks Disc golf is a much more accessible fall back option. I’ll teach you everything I know when this tedious trend of ours falls out of favour.
@@Corridor89 Oh yay thank you! Insert joke about there being 74 genders of golf.
@@WillowTalksBooks 😂 shhhhh. Don’t let the old white golf men hear you say that. We can’t have our fall back option seen as tedious and fussy too!
...though we might still be good. It’s hard to imagine something as dull as golf ever falling out of favour.