Cleaning out a house in 3 days is traumatic. It took me 5 and 1/2 years to clean my parents house. It was then remodeled and sold. And went from the worst house on the Block to the nicest. Two houses away was another hoarder house that we never knew about
If it weren't for y'all we wouldn't have been able to help my Dad and Gran have a workable house. I used what I learned from this show to help my Dad let go of things that were getting him fines
I think she needed to be taken away for a few days so the rest of them could do the clean up. She will never learn and her husband is too weak to stop her.
it is, i have family members that are horders and they are extremely frustrating to deal with, every time you try to throw something away they come with some reason as to why they need it, it could be a bucket broken in half, an old broken lawnmower, planter pots that they already have 500 of they always come up with some excuse as to why they need it, the trick is figuring out how to convince them they don’t need it
@@valeriejean6507 Yes, keeping only that which means the most to me is better and it takes up less space. Though I did have to create Sean's Toy Channel to account for what I kept.😁
My ex husband used to bring stuff back that I'd put out for the garbage collection and put it back in a different place, (churning) thinking I wouldn't find it; they are also sneaky.
Snapping and barking thats what I was searching for. They want to make it look like, as they hadnt lost the controll, to keep right. Its about their ego, to let go or not.
I was a hoarder thank goodness I am not anymore. Thanks to this show, my house is a show piece and proud of it. My family likes having all the holidays at my house.... thank you hoarders show. You made my life, God bless you.
@@otreborfashionscene5986 same when I was 17 I was really bad but at 25 the worst it gets is clothes and dog toys on the floor. When I was 17 I lived with my dad and couldn’t even have my dog in my bedroom because it was piled up to the ceiling and I was scared it would fall on her. I can’t even recognise myself as that person anymore
It’s really interesting how the dustbowl/depression gets brought up again and again in this show. It led to two, sometimes three generations of hoarders. Goes to show how insanely destitute folks were and how it left so many middle-lower class midwesterns traumatized nearly beyond repair. Nearly 100 years ago and still poisoning folks.
generational trauma is a beast. one generation goes through trauma, and if they don't get help for it they just pass it down to their kids, who pass it down to _their_ kids, and so on.
Sad thing is…now is not the time to become a minimalist. Given current events that will last years. So- there is some wisdom in ‘hoarding’- as long as it’s with worthy essential and useful things.
My great grandparents lived through the Depression. They didn’t hoard, but they did not waste anything either. (Except money. They did hoard money. They hid it everywhere around the house!) However, their daughter (my grandmother), who was the 2nd of 3 kids, had a tendency to hold on to things because of an items perceived value/what she paid for it and/or because it might come in use someday. Everything got recycled in the family: furniture, dishes, kitchenware, etc. No one could throw anything away. Her younger brother was the same in that regard. I get 50 years ago you spent a lot of money on a chair, but that doesn’t mean it has accrued in value. And I think, after 50 years, you got your money out of it. Stop using the next generation as your dumping ground!!
when my kids grew up and left,i had lots of stuff that they said they would come back for but never did.i admit a lot of it was mine,it cluttered 4 rooms and the loft,so..... if it had sentimental value i took a pic on my cellphone,binned,donated or sold the items and now whenever i want i can take out my phone and revisit my memories, upshot it, what used to take up 4 rooms and a loft now fits in my pocket and is always with me. after all....photos is all i have left of the actual people that meant a lot to me so why not do the same with stuff. hope this helps someone.
I'm a 'recovering' hoarder and with some things I have taken pictures and been able to let things go, it's a great suggestion. (I'm not a gross, dirty hoarder like some of the people on this show, I just have way to many decent collectables, etc). But with other things that you really love, it's like saying take a picture of your child or favorite pet and then let them go because you have a photo. It's not the same thing. Yes, photos bring up memories of people and happy times but so do the possessions and with the possession you can physically grasp it. It/they won't leave you or hurt you like a person does. The possessions are a wall of protection around us because of the pain and loss that we have experienced in our lives. And letting go of the items that we love is painful and sometimes the regret of the loss of that certain very important possession actually causes pain for the rest of our lives. I have given up two irreplaceable things that I regret immensely and the pain is with me on a daily basis. And I have that fear that I might actually let go of something again that I will regret everyday for the rest on my life, which causes me to hesitate to let things go. It's the fear of that and losing control of our life that traps us. The hoarding is actually an attempt to control our lives to prevent more bad stuff from happening. I just have to keep reminding myself that the people in my life are far more important than the possessions, and that it is selfish of me to place my possessions above their happiness and well being, as well as it prevents me from enjoying my life and doing the activities that I want to do. The hoard doesn't really protect me. Anyway, psychologically that's the way I interpret my hoarding. I've also been receiving counseling for it as well, which helps. Hope this helps some people understand a little better what sometimes drives some people's hoarding.
@@sandras7029 thank you for your response,isn't it a shame when people just assume that you live in a roach infested hovel just because you have stuff.i read and reread your heartfelt message,i am sorry if i came across as callous,of course a snapshot can not replace the smell of a baby blanket or the collar that your first puppy wore, honestly i just meant the almost generic ornaments,vases etc that you really thought you needed.i am so sorry if i upset you sandra.
I’m inheriting a hoarder house. I’ve tried to get it de-hoarded, but I can’t change an old lady’s mind. At least it’s not filled with trash, mice and rodents, or even pets. So it’s a neat hoard. Nothing is strewn.
@@trishayamada807 God bless you for having a positive attitude and her things/ house are clean. When I see the molded food and mouse dropping I almost get ill.
@@Picca65 the sanity has been hard. She had a stroke and I had to go through some of her things. I didn’t think it would be hard but I felt I was like invading her world. In one drawer it was a time capsule to 1962. I found a penny from that year. And everything in it seemed to be from them. Things like matchboxes from old gas stations and with wedding dates/names. I just shut the drawer. I can’t do this while she’s alive. She can have her memories right now. And now I’m crying again. It would be easy if it was garbage. But everything is tidy. But there tons of it.
Opossums are basically chubby forest cats, since they dont have the ability to transfer rabies, its fine to feed them or pet them, though maybe not recommended or if the issue arises, you can nurse them back to health as a baby (: raccoons will also come up to a house to be fet and you can pet them as well once they trust you enough!
The look on Matt's face while they're boxing those gross a$$ biscuits!! "I lost like 30 min of my life today." Poor Matt he's got such a good heart but he must have a well of patience that is bottomless
All this show has done has taught me not to be a difficult person, and to always learn to change. This show has shown me how horrible it is to not evolve.
I think it would be helpful for the woman to find something to do outside of the home. Since she enjoys doing things for others, then volunteer work would consume some of the motivation she has for hoarding.
"doing for others" is just an excuse. my mom has some of these tendencies (also a child of depression-era parents) and she just loathes "waste." she doesn't like throwing anything away, worst case she will try to recycle it instead of just tossing it. she'll eat expired food if it means not letting it go to waste.
No 💩💩💩!!!! She’s so cheerful after the black screen says “nothing was thrown away and the home had to be demolished” or something like that. It seems like a lot of the ones I’ve watched had sad endings like that.
The grand daughter was SO good at reasoning & communicating with her gramma. That is awesome they are into gardening and canning. I hope the decluttering gives them time to tend to their Garden.
I knew a hoarder that had an accumulation problem, the way the problem was solved, was installing an outdoor furnace. The natural instincts to see stuff burning, kicked her harder than accumulating.
@@jenniferruth812 many Therapists should consider to treat an unhealthy obsessive disorder, replace it for a less harmful one, instead of just using medication and psychological guidance.
Hoarders tend to claim that the shopping and acquisition is not for themselves but other people. Notice how those ‘good intentions’ never leave the house? What a crock of s***.
The 'thrill of the hunt' is what they are addicted to. If they claim it is for someone else - it takes on an altruistic reason in order to feel better about their addiction.
Sometimes I think families of the hoarder need therapy also…a lot of them can’t get past that a person chooses trash and things over them. It’s just like any addiction, people choose drugs and alcohol over their loved ones all the time. It’s part of the illness.
I think she lives on the idea that she helps other people. Being focussed on other helps not being focussed on your own troubles. And she might give some things away, just not enough.
@@gorgeousfreeman4836 He is a hard working Engineer and she's an "addicted" shopper (stated by her own) LMFAO!! Thats why this became a show Mcfly! who's disgusting - smh
@@gorgeousfreeman4836 I'd say honestly they aren't wrong, it's a bit of both. Using one scenario of things that she does to justify the other things that she does.
When my mother passed the only thing she left me was her sewing machine and her cloths, we donated the cloths and i kept the sewing machine, i do clean it every day and beside it to feel her presence.
In my opinion, when you love somebody you don't need material stuff to remember them. They are always in your heart and in your mind. Personally speaking, heart and mind need decluttering sometimes.
I’m proud of you for donating her clothes. She would have wanted other women to benefit from her and her life. It’s a hard thing to do, but always remember that you made the right choice. Much love to you!
I have my dad's arrowheads and flag (MP in the army). Although my dad and I did not get along, I show them to my students and tell them how they were used.
OMG - Matt's expression when putting the dusty bisquits in a container - I feel you Matt! And her blaming her granddaughter for getting contaminated with beatles and bringing them to school?! Uh-uh, the daughter is better than me, i'd be DONE with her.
Yes, but she is not a drug addict or gambling addict. She has issues but the good side is she is providing food to a whole lot of stray animals. They should donate most of her goods to a charity shops where the proceeds go towards an animal shelter.
@@gorgeousfreeman4836 "Sad how people ignorantly share their dumb opinion when they don't know anyones business. Stfu" "Sad how blm allowed to kill innocent people and destroy cities and get away with it." WTF are you even doing? Did you ask someone to type those comments for you?
It's crazy that mental illness is such a taboo subject that you would ignore these types of signs for DECADES rather than confronting it in a constructive way. Sad the level of sickness these people have and the excuses for their behavior. This show is proof positive that we need to start treating mental health with the the same urgency we do physical health.
@@SHurd-rc2go That and a number of other issues...delusion is certainly one of the main ingredients it seems, but I'm not therapist. I just think we all need to be more honest with each other and put the same emphasis on Mental health that we do physical.
What I’ve learned is it’s darn near impossible to get mentally needy people help. I was basically told, it’s their choice, their freedom. Ok, but their mental illness is holding them captive and they aren’t making “free” choices. They are making choices through a brain that’s not functioning properly. Tough luck. When they are a danger then they’ll do something. It’s too late.
Yooo I live a pretty simple and minimal life and I still find myself tired, keeping a clean house (laundry, vacum, bathroom, dusting, etc), watering a few plants, cooking dinner every night on top of a full time job. I will never understand how people keep up with loads of cars, animals...
That room will be full in no time. My heart was breaking the whole episode. They seem so sweet but she's made it clear she's not parting with her stuff even if her family doesnt come around 😭😭
@@habibahgooden I think you’re talking about that interior designer living in a beautiful old mansion that those two guys had recently purchased and I agree with you-she was the absolute worst.
Understanding hoarders is like teaching a blind person the difference between red and blue: it's impossible. Hoarders are pathologically afraid to lose things, no matter how useless they are.
Like when the other therapist (bald guy) took a pen from a woman’s house and he came back 5yrs later and asked what he took she knew exactly what it was and where he took it from
I’m 9 minutes in and I’m getting pseudo-PTSD from my friends mom She was very much like this lady… the strategy with hoarders like her *~isn’t~* to be confrontational. When you get assertive with this type, all they will do is double and triple down on their position, get angry and then shut down completely. The husband clearly recognizes is but he’s also supporting his wife in her impenetrable stance What I found to be moderately successful is to be willing to give them a chance to follow through. In this case, start a SMALL pile of wash->donate stuff. When it gets to a laundry basket sized volume (nearly instantly) pass it to her and ask her to start a load so it can be donated later that day After 2-3 loads worth she likely would’ve either accepted that it was a mountainous task and accept that those would-be donations are dumpster bound, or she would follow through and show willingness to run a couple hundred loads of laundry over time and then donate as intended… Either way it prevents to rising tensions that stall/prevent progress. An angry hoarder is the least productive of all
Me too. I just came off an unloading binge 4 months ago and seeing this, I"m going back at it and giving away/binning more. Once you start (and it's hard) it gets easier to toss it.
I love my stuff but in the last year's have donated on average a box a month to thrift stores. I have a few things that are worth something that will go to a store that prices accordingly. Someone will get a treasure. I lose the stress of not using it and seeing it.
I didn't see it the same way as you did. Hoarding is about control over your own life and filling a void. They went through something tragic that they had no control over, and so they find comfort when they can control their environment. If you go in and try to control everything thing they do, they are going to get mad. Heck, I think most people would get mad if someone was trying to boss them around..... Her kids, especially her daughter, was making it all about her. The hoarding had nothing to do with her. Once she realizes that, she will be a happier person.
yeah im not so sure about that part that she is helping the homeless, and buying stuff to give away to them. She might think that as an excuse to buy stuff, but then she keeps it.
They had no shame in how they live. Which is seriously disturbing and disgusting. Poor kids and grandkids. First episode Ive seen in years with almost no progress done. Sad
Very bittersweet episode it was frustrating seeing Margie fight for trash smh her husband was even trying to convince her and he's a hoarder too that is just how sick she is. It was nice to see that tiny glimmer of hope at the end when she agreed to get rid of stuff to have that 1 clean room but this is just a sad outcome.
He enabled her?!!! These husbands need to put their foot down sometimes? So many are in financial trouble and the wife just keeps buying more cr*p? I see husbands that complain when the team arrive ...about all the stuff. THEN "I just want to see her happy'???
This is so heartbreaking my mother is also a hoarder. After she and my dad separated (she left with nothing but the clothes she was wearing, she’s never recovered psychologically). She keeps buying tons of second hand clothing. Her entire house is full of clothes and lives in a different city from us (her kids). It’s so bad that she keeps losing her phones under the pile of clothes. She’s so attached to her stuff that she hasn’t spent Christmas with us cause she feels like someone’s going to steal her stuff. I don’t wish this on anyone, I got a bigger house so she can live with us but she refuses to move. I’m always scared that one day I will get a call that her house has burned down or something terrible has happened cause of the stuff in her house.
Sorry you have to go through that. 😢 Hoarding is a mental illness that requires help in some form. It's like an addiction where the addict knows it's harmful to them but they just can't stop.
14:50 this is the strategy I feel you should use on every episode. Get everything out and make them pick what comes back in. Even if it doesn't work 100% of the time, it gives them the opportunity to see what life could be like unburdened by stuff. They would have to consciously choose to bring garbage back into the house. I think a lot of times hordes get to these levels because it's a slow burn instead of a sharp instant pain.
I still think, after watching so many of these shows, when someone is that controlling of everyone around them, it's because they enjoy the "power" of control, and are often very selfish/narcissistic too.
Absolutely...all of these hoarders have a control issue. They are using the hoard to control others. I think many of them are very manipulative and often are narcissists.
It annoys me how so many people are prepared to categorise others as narcissistic when they are not. Hoarding IS about control; but it's more to do with personal control rather than trying to control others. Hoarding is the manifestation of deeply rooted psychological problems such as fear, anxiety and depression.
It’s this show and people like this that modeivate me every week to clean my house like after watching this show all I wanna do is organize and declutter my whole house lol
Start with one thing. Write down how that one thing brings you joy or serves a specific purpose for you today. It you can't do either, toss that one thing. Then write down how you feel about it. Is it ok? Are you able to move past it? It it is difficult, seek someone who can help you move past it. Then, when you can, on to the next thing. I give this advice because I do a similar activity. I don't write it down but I consider it carefully. At the end, I'm fine. So one thing at a time. The try to see if you can do more...get someone to help you get through it. You can do it.
I can’t imagine working day in and day out with people who desperately need the help but fight against it. Giving so much sweat and support only to carry it right back in 😥
We did as well. Service people freak out when they go into our attic and there is nothing up there except A/C, heat, and water heater. House is semi-minimalist too, and getting better every year. A place for everything, and everything in it's place. I do not want to leave a mess for my kids.
Oh my gosh, this woman reminds me of my mother. "don't throw away the rotten food, I'll feed it to my chicken's", she always says. And "don't toss that broken plate, put it in the green house for my plants"... They literally cannot throw garbage away!! It drives me insane!! And I HATE the excuse of "I grew up with depression era parents, we don't just throw anything away". But my mom's parents (my grandparents, god rest their souls, they both passed away 6 months ago), they NEVER had a messy or cluttered home. They were always clean and neat, but my mom has always been messy and made excuses of being too busy and too tired to clean anything. She still makes that excuse at 68 years old. It's heartbreaking.
My mom is the same way...I've given her a new item to replace something that is broken, and she will hang onto the broken item (eg., broken glass turkey baster) b/c she might need it or she sees that it's still partially useful. It's beyond insane.
My mom worked briefly in the cheese department at Wegmans. She would tell me husbands would not sample a piece of cheese until they received permission from their wife. Sad.
I saw this a lot growing up in Oklahoma, but it was not only the depression that caused people to hang on to stuff. The dust bowl was also a contributing factor, at least for my great grandparents.
@@WestJason9 every state should have a state level of adult protective services and a local level of adult protective services. Unfortunately, like most social services, they are terribly underfunded and can't always provide the help that is needed.
Are these people even fit to be unsupervised with children? Decaying rotting foods are saved to be canned??!! And they cannot understand what the problem is...
My father's property is next door... and with all the stuff at his house (nowhere near the amount at Margie's) and the other "houses" and properties he owns, I fear it will take me years as well
@@banditpoon714 If you'll be looking at it like that, there are house flipper companies who buy the house/property and all it's contents. You sign agreements on if they find anything of importance (documents, etc) but they otherwise deal with the whole mess.
@@TheMrsEmpty thanks for the info! I've honestly thought of maybe doing something like that when the time comes. I have already handled and cleaned out so many estates in my younger years that I know this task, when it comes, will be the biggest of my life. Thank you once again!
Took my mother and aunt almost 3 years to clear it out to sell the house. My grandparents were very clean and tidy, but boy did they pack and organize enough stuff for five or six families. Both had been poor growing up, and they had survived the Great Depression/ Their place looked nothing like any of these Hoarders episodes. Their house looked full, but normal. However, attic, cellar, garage, extra rooms were chock-a-block full. Beautifully organized, but full. No filth, vermin, or yuck factors.
The most frustrating case I've seen so far. 😕 "I will continue cleaning "... She hasn't done it in the last 10 years, there's no way to believe her, especially if she will have spinal surgery. ☹️ I feel sorry for their children and grandchildren.
Me too! My mom and gramma went that salt and pepper never fully grey or white and I don’t want that. I do have blonde hair and they did not so I’m hoping! That white/silver is so shiny and looks great.
my great grandmas hair never really faded. it was weird She died at 97 still with a tony tint of her strawberry blond hair I either want the white or hers
@@smusky4643 to me there is a difference between hoarding and a shopaholic because I live with a husband who is a shopaholic! It’s not to care about other people whatsoever!!!!It’s for selfish reasons and that’s all it is
@@brennyhughes7251 thank you for being truthful. That's hoarders fantasies - they are going to sell it, give it to someone to use, they have a project they will do blah, blah, blah. Sorry it sounds hard but it isn't for anyone else - they want to keep the piles for themselves.
Seems to me that the grandmother never asked for help and she was perfectly fine with seeing her grandkids outside of the home things are never going to change until she wants to change
This couple needs deep, deep DEEP therapy before they can even think about cleaning the house out. Seriously. There is a lot more wrong the mother, she can't see the forest for her hoard. Attacking her while she is in protect mode is not going to do much at all.
My family and I were overwhelmed with 70 tons of stuff. Can't even imagine 500 tons. Also THE FISH. Oh. My. God. It's a miracle there are still fish in there. I swear if the water she dumped in there didn't kill them then the cleaning did. Jesus Christ.
Hoarding disorder is usually accompanied with other underlying issues especially anxiety and depression. Psychotherapy that includes cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is often a necessity to help them. Their family are too emotionally connected to be of great help since the hoarder doesn’t see the problem and have already chosen their stuff over their family...because they have a mental health disorder! The level of justification and manipulation they will go to is difficult to deal with.
Absolutely! I think these families should have therapy and possibly medication before attempting a clean out. Of course, that wouldn't make for an interesting show.
Bethel seems like someone who will be able to overcome hoarding, you can notice him arguing trying to convince margie, pushing himself to surpass it, and even advance to the point he get mad for not being able to progress with it. But Margie... There's nooo way she will surpass it and will keep doing it. It seems like a situation where Bethel will reach a point and decide to have his own private room to live while leaving Margie the rest of the house to do whatever she wants with it.
I cleaned out my house shortly after my husband died. He was a Navy Cook & he was a good cook. I am one of those people that keeps what is needed. Less dishes to wash.
One of the adult children said something along the lines of "I just want my kids to have grandparents" what she left out is "normal" - she wants them to have "normal" grandparents, but you can't pretend that the reality of what their kids grandparents actually are isn't happening. The adult child is in some ways trying to force the grandparents to change, but no change will happen unless it comes from the 2 hoarding grandparents.
I don't think she left out the word "normal". She didn't use it/add it because its not relevent. They don't have grandparents if they can't spend time with them.
I really can't understand, how someone can be totally okay with disappointing so many people and wasting their time. I would feel ashamed, if somebody would see me living like that, and my only wish would be getting rid of all that dirty stuff as soon as possible. Hoarding is such an egoistic disorder and I don't get, why hoarders don't see how locked in they are between their rubbish.
I mean…by that logic all mental disorders are egoic. That’s where the frustration comes from. But when you view it from the standpoint of they are quite literally not in possession of a normal functioning brain like yours or mine, then you can start to actually work on helping them heal. It’s a disorder based in fear and anxiety. You try telling a anxious person to stop being anxious and let me know how that works out.
Good to see her husband to start being tough with her. She is so rude and ungrateful. She’s hurting her family. As a mother I wonder how she got to this point of hurting them and shutting them out. She hopes she doesn’t regret it for the rest of her life, getting rid of some things. Regret the lost memories for your children and grandchildren, she don’t care 🤷♀️
Thanks to Marie Kondo I decluttered so many things. I regrettet none. Did I think: "Oh, this book as a reference would be nice!" yes. Did it make my life miserable? No! Makes my house me happy now? YES! I'd throw out any physical posession for having a clean and easy manageable house. No physical item is worth more than my peace of mind. I want space in my house for the people I love. Not for stuff. Stuff is replaceable. People are not.
My mom was a hoarder and i remember it was hard living in the house with so many things. Boxes and boxes of clothes and stuff everywhere. When we became adults, my siblings and i either became super clean to the point of having ocd or just hoardes other stuff in a small way like hoarding too much food or buying clothes they don't neccesarily need. I am one of the former and keep a minimalist house.
Hoarding is a mental disorder involving OCD, severe anxiety and depression, and unresolved grief and loss issues. That’s why people can’t “see” what others do and are so frustrating to deal with. They lack insight, because they are defending themselves against unbearable feelings. Failure to deal with these issues expresses itself as hoarding behavior. Sometimes the issues are so painful because they are pre-verbal, and they often demonstrate a lack of object consistency, ie, if they lose the object, they can’t hold on to the memory associated with the object. It’s extremely complex, and relapse behavior is common without the proper treatment and support.
Thank you for this. I’ve seen my movement toward cluttering my home, and this is something I knew, but couldn’t have articulated. I really appreciate the perspective this gave me.
But the bottom line is you cannot successfully force someone to get help who denies they have a problem. Particularly a hoarder. They will just dig their heels in and fight harder. It is the only way THEY maintain control in a situation that is out of control to everyone one else. Just accept that it is an illness and that you will never go into their home. YOU have to love the hoarder more than THEY love their stuff. They have a mental illness. Is it frustrating? Of course, but they also have the freedom to live in squalor as much as you have the freedom to avoid it. Speaking from experience.
Margie will DEFINITELY rehoard the living room!!! It's clean for now but I'm sure it won't stay that way. My husband is a hoarder. I'm the opposite not a hoarder. My husband gets mad if I donate something of his.
I would not have the patience to deal with this situation. One hoarder in a household is bad enough, but two is almost impossible. An awful disorder to try and deal with and the chances are that they will slip back into hoarding after the clean up. They both need therapy.
I completely understand the feeling of wanting your kids to have grand parents, or sucks. My dad is slightly a hoarder and now he has bed bugs :/ I’m too poor to do anything and now I’m pregnant, I live far from him. I keep trying to instigate conversations about him getting everything thrown away and steamed / heat treated he just gives a lazy response. He doesn’t care about me, and I doubt he will care enough when he finds out I’m pregnant. It sucks. It truly does.
You are a good daughter being concerned about him, some children don’t care. I’m sorry you feel hopeless being unable to financially help him. All you can do is continue to try and speak to him about it, I’m sure he does indeed love you and perhaps your pregnancy news would be a great source of joy for him..congratulations sweetie.
I think you're better off just breaking ties with your dad. He doesn't care about you or your kids. He doesn't even care about himself. It's hard to do but fighting a losing battle with him is going to cause more pain and drama in your life. Good luck.
I bet if they would have started throwing things away when she wasn’t looking she would have never missed it. When you have that much stuff, you truly forget about things you’ve gotten in the past. Her kids should have known if it was linked to a memory, and if not just throw it away. I’m sure she wouldn’t have noticed with that much stuff
My husband did that with my mother in law. They put her to work in one room, sorting some things, while they carried loads and loads out to the bin. She never missed it.
Anyone who helps these people are angels. I am a minimalist. I hate clutter and if something comes in the house, some thing goes, donate or give away. I am at the point in my life where I don’t want my daughter dealing with my stuff. Everything is cleaned out. Thankful that I have a niece close to my age, and is my height, and shoe size. She doesn’t spend money on herself, so she gets treats from Auntie.
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Cleaning out a house in 3 days is traumatic. It took me 5 and 1/2 years to clean my parents house. It was then remodeled and sold. And went from the worst house on the Block to the nicest. Two houses away was another hoarder house that we never knew about
@@LuckyGuu Tjojojñt YT t
Corey mentioned writing about Oklahoma hoarders and I really would like to read his thoughts!
If it weren't for y'all we wouldn't have been able to help my Dad and Gran have a workable house. I used what I learned from this show to help my Dad let go of things that were getting him fines
stop exploiting people
Working with hoarders has got to be the most frustrating job in the world
And it probably doesn't pay good. The psychiatrist must get way more.
I think she needed to be taken away for a few days so the rest of them could do the clean up. She will never learn and her husband is too weak to stop her.
it is, i have family members that are horders and they are extremely frustrating to deal with, every time you try to throw something away they come with some reason as to why they need it, it could be a bucket broken in half, an old broken lawnmower, planter pots that they already have 500 of they always come up with some excuse as to why they need it, the trick is figuring out how to convince them they don’t need it
They’re WAYYYYYYY too nice to these people
@@Meangirl22 probably should just dump all of it without any talking
My father was a hoarder. At his funeral his second wife told me she called a dumpster company to shovel out the house. I understood completely.
This is why I am donating stuff now and will account for my remaining collections in my will.
@@SeansModelBuilds good 👍 for you. Though I'm not a hoarder, it's easy to collect stuff. I'm doing the same thing you are. It feels good 👍.
@@valeriejean6507 Yes, keeping only that which means the most to me is better and it takes up less space. Though I did have to create Sean's Toy Channel to account for what I kept.😁
My ex husband used to bring stuff back that I'd put out for the garbage collection and put it back in a different place, (churning) thinking I wouldn't find it; they are also sneaky.
@@gillianbrookwell1678 And lazy. My mum was a hoarder and to lazy to tidy up. And I wasn‘t allowed to throw anything away or she‘d freak out...
The old ladies in this series always seem so sweet at the beginning but they start snapping and barking once their stuff starts disappearing.
Facts
@@ronderulijkummar7453 it's sad. It's all they have, they are grasping on to anything they have to remember better times. Or to hope for better times
Snapping and barking thats what I was searching for. They want to make it look like, as they hadnt lost the controll, to keep right. Its about their ego, to let go or not.
Why the emotional attachment to trash??
@@sandrajohnson9926 🤣crazy weird people, thats why. Didnt experience something bad in life and now they make it about used towels.
I was a hoarder thank goodness I am not anymore. Thanks to this show, my house is a show piece and proud of it. My family likes having all the holidays at my house.... thank you hoarders show. You made my life, God bless you.
Congratulations on your awakening! I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you for recognizing your problem and doing something about it.
@@sarcasticallyrearranged thank you so much for your kind words
Congratulations for overcoming your disorder! That must have been a monster undertaking
Congratulations!🤗 I'm so happy for you! 👏👏👏
@@otreborfashionscene5986 same when I was 17 I was really bad but at 25 the worst it gets is clothes and dog toys on the floor. When I was 17 I lived with my dad and couldn’t even have my dog in my bedroom because it was piled up to the ceiling and I was scared it would fall on her. I can’t even recognise myself as that person anymore
It’s really interesting how the dustbowl/depression gets brought up again and again in this show. It led to two, sometimes three generations of hoarders. Goes to show how insanely destitute folks were and how it left so many middle-lower class midwesterns traumatized nearly beyond repair.
Nearly 100 years ago and still poisoning folks.
generational trauma is a beast. one generation goes through trauma, and if they don't get help for it they just pass it down to their kids, who pass it down to _their_ kids, and so on.
Sad thing is…now is not the time to become a minimalist. Given current events that will last years. So- there is some wisdom in ‘hoarding’- as long as it’s with worthy essential and useful things.
This is a very good remark.
My great grandparents lived through the Depression. They didn’t hoard, but they did not waste anything either. (Except money. They did hoard money. They hid it everywhere around the house!)
However, their daughter (my grandmother), who was the 2nd of 3 kids, had a tendency to hold on to things because of an items perceived value/what she paid for it and/or because it might come in use someday. Everything got recycled in the family: furniture, dishes, kitchenware, etc. No one could throw anything away. Her younger brother was the same in that regard.
I get 50 years ago you spent a lot of money on a chair, but that doesn’t mean it has accrued in value. And I think, after 50 years, you got your money out of it.
Stop using the next generation as your dumping ground!!
Capitalism rocks!
when my kids grew up and left,i had lots of stuff that they said they would come back for but never did.i admit a lot of it was mine,it cluttered 4 rooms and the loft,so..... if it had sentimental value i took a pic on my cellphone,binned,donated or sold the items and now whenever i want i can take out my phone and revisit my memories, upshot it, what used to take up 4 rooms and a loft now fits in my pocket and is always with me. after all....photos is all i have left of the actual people that meant a lot to me so why not do the same with stuff. hope this helps someone.
You found the perfect solution to ease your mind. I can relate, it’s hard to let go. 💕
I'm a 'recovering' hoarder and with some things I have taken pictures and been able to let things go, it's a great suggestion. (I'm not a gross, dirty hoarder like some of the people on this show, I just have way to many decent collectables, etc). But with other things that you really love, it's like saying take a picture of your child or favorite pet and then let them go because you have a photo. It's not the same thing. Yes, photos bring up memories of people and happy times but so do the possessions and with the possession you can physically grasp it. It/they won't leave you or hurt you like a person does. The possessions are a wall of protection around us because of the pain and loss that we have experienced in our lives. And letting go of the items that we love is painful and sometimes the regret of the loss of that certain very important possession actually causes pain for the rest of our lives. I have given up two irreplaceable things that I regret immensely and the pain is with me on a daily basis. And I have that fear that I might actually let go of something again that I will regret everyday for the rest on my life, which causes me to hesitate to let things go. It's the fear of that and losing control of our life that traps us. The hoarding is actually an attempt to control our lives to prevent more bad stuff from happening. I just have to keep reminding myself that the people in my life are far more important than the possessions, and that it is selfish of me to place my possessions above their happiness and well being, as well as it prevents me from enjoying my life and doing the activities that I want to do. The hoard doesn't really protect me. Anyway, psychologically that's the way I interpret my hoarding. I've also been receiving counseling for it as well, which helps. Hope this helps some people understand a little better what sometimes drives some people's hoarding.
@@sandras7029 thank you for your response,isn't it a shame when people just assume that you live in a roach infested hovel just because you have stuff.i read and reread your heartfelt message,i am sorry if i came across as callous,of course a snapshot can not replace the smell of a baby blanket or the collar that your first puppy wore, honestly i just meant the almost generic ornaments,vases etc that you really thought you needed.i am so sorry if i upset you sandra.
Good idea
Actually.....taking photos might actually help me. I've never thought of that.
Thank you. I hope I can do that.
Do hoarders ever consider what happens with all the "things they like " when they die? Answer: It goes to the dumpster. The end.
I’m inheriting a hoarder house. I’ve tried to get it de-hoarded, but I can’t change an old lady’s mind. At least it’s not filled with trash, mice and rodents, or even pets. So it’s a neat hoard. Nothing is strewn.
@@trishayamada807 God bless you for having a positive attitude and her things/ house are clean. When I see the molded food and mouse dropping I almost get ill.
@@trishayamada807 good luck to you. It will probably bring you a lot of work and memories. Stay sane🧡
@@Picca65 the sanity has been hard. She had a stroke and I had to go through some of her things. I didn’t think it would be hard but I felt I was like invading her world. In one drawer it was a time capsule to 1962. I found a penny from that year. And everything in it seemed to be from them. Things like matchboxes from old gas stations and with wedding dates/names. I just shut the drawer. I can’t do this while she’s alive. She can have her memories right now. And now I’m crying again. It would be easy if it was garbage. But everything is tidy. But there tons of it.
Or the house gets burned down with everything in it.
“I’ve been ignored by a lot of women in my life, but not like this.” LOL!!!
That’s my all time favorite thing that Matt ever said ,in all of these episodes LOL✌🏻
@@buggiebuild1 Same here!!!
He cracks me up
A rare self-burn indeed!
@@RatedArggg Woah chill he's married
I think?
“The beetles her fault.” ...I'm totally exasperated right now.
i was so proud of the daughter in law for what she said and defending her kid
The argument over the opossum was hysterical. "Well dagum I guess the possum won't get fed. Pretty sure it's wild and it'll find food"
"Why do u think (the possums came up)? Because the house is full of 💩!"
I think I died 😅😅😅
I was more worried about rabies than the hoard.
@@Blech-h9z opossums are the only us mammal that cannot transmit rabies, so of all the risks of interacting w a wild animal, that’s not one of them
Opossums are basically chubby forest cats, since they dont have the ability to transfer rabies, its fine to feed them or pet them, though maybe not recommended or if the issue arises, you can nurse them back to health as a baby (: raccoons will also come up to a house to be fet and you can pet them as well once they trust you enough!
@@Blech-h9z possoms can not get rabies
The look on Matt's face while they're boxing those gross a$$ biscuits!! "I lost like 30 min of my life today." Poor Matt he's got such a good heart but he must have a well of patience that is bottomless
"If you microwave 'em they soften right up."
Every Southerner and Grandma and home cook and restaurant: SCREAMING
And then, "I've been ignored by a lot of women"
Perfectly said! ❤
AND they're touching the biscuits with their (I assume dirty) gloves.
@@lorece94 that was my exact thought!!
Wow, that daughter-in-law seems to be a wonderful wife, mum and daughter-in-law. What a beautiful, powerful woman.
She's also got a sense of humor.
"Why do u think (the possums came up)? Because the house is full of 💩!"
I think I died 😅😅😅
She was loving and disrespectful at the same time. I don't know how to place something like that 😂
@@GameChanger597 yeah, she annoyed me. Something uppity about her.
@@MontagZoso Gee, I wonder if anything about the situation might put someone towards the end of their rope. Hmmmmmm let me think....
M O M NOT MUM!
All this show has done has taught me not to be a difficult person, and to always learn to change. This show has shown me how horrible it is to not evolve.
“I’ve been ignored by many women in my life but not like this” 😂😂
I love Matt!
Busted out laughing 😂
@@saureminenaufseher4820literally 😂
There is something extremely therapeutic watching tons and tons more of materials being pulled out of homes. Thank you for posting.
The sad part is they didn't do that on this episode lol
Yeah it is satisfying watching all that stuff come out. I suddenly understand people's weird obsession with those pimple popper videos
The kids are fantastic in trying to help the parents. It's no doubt frustrating but they are trying their best.
I agree. The family were united and there was no fighting among the non hoarders, with anyone. I was surprised they was not unnecessary drama lol.
They lady with the red hair, good job for keeping your cool
Her purpose is wrapped up in her stuff. Kudos to the daughter in law! For shooting straight with her MIL and expressing genuine love at the same time.
I think it would be helpful for the woman to find something to do outside of the home. Since she enjoys doing things for others, then volunteer work would consume some of the motivation she has for hoarding.
"doing for others" is just an excuse. my mom has some of these tendencies (also a child of depression-era parents) and she just loathes "waste." she doesn't like throwing anything away, worst case she will try to recycle it instead of just tossing it. she'll eat expired food if it means not letting it go to waste.
That lady who yells ‘ HI ! ‘ at the end of the show shocks me every time.
No 💩💩💩!!!! She’s so cheerful after the black screen says “nothing was thrown away and the home had to be demolished” or something like that. It seems like a lot of the ones I’ve watched had sad endings like that.
I know it's annoying. I turn it off as soon as I can now to avoid it.
As a mother, I would not let my children enter that home either! It's unsafe, flowing with junk, unhealthy, etc!
I hate to think of the vermin living in that house, and the filth just turns my stomach. I know they are sick and need help but sheesh!
the fact she doesn't care about her grandchildren is disturbing.
Could be black mold in there as well.
The grand daughter was SO good at reasoning & communicating with her gramma. That is awesome they are into gardening and canning. I hope the decluttering gives them time to tend to their Garden.
I knew a hoarder that had an accumulation problem, the way the problem was solved, was installing an outdoor furnace. The natural instincts to see stuff burning, kicked her harder than accumulating.
That's pretty genius, actually.
That’s very clever
Wow, that's amazing and kinda funny! Maybe therapists should start using this tool.
@@jenniferruth812 many Therapists should consider to treat an unhealthy obsessive disorder, replace it for a less harmful one, instead of just using medication and psychological guidance.
ngl i would get so much satisfaction out of burning my trash instead of just stuffing it in bags and dropping it on the curb.
Hoarders tend to claim that the shopping and acquisition is not for themselves but other people. Notice how those ‘good intentions’ never leave the house? What a crock of s***.
The 'thrill of the hunt' is what they are addicted to. If they claim it is for someone else - it takes on an altruistic reason in order to feel better about their addiction.
Sometimes I think families of the hoarder need therapy also…a lot of them can’t get past that a person chooses trash and things over them. It’s just like any addiction, people choose drugs and alcohol over their loved ones all the time. It’s part of the illness.
how can she be helping anyone because she’s keeping it all
I think she lives on the idea that she helps other people. Being focussed on other helps not being focussed on your own troubles. And she might give some things away, just not enough.
The "Addiction" of shopping ! Laziness, selfishness, and greed. I feel for the husband. So sad
@@dejacavu6259 it's not that. How's it greedy if she's making stuff for everyone else. You're disgusting
@@gorgeousfreeman4836 He is a hard working Engineer and she's an "addicted" shopper (stated by her own) LMFAO!! Thats why this became a show Mcfly! who's disgusting - smh
@@gorgeousfreeman4836 I'd say honestly they aren't wrong, it's a bit of both. Using one scenario of things that she does to justify the other things that she does.
When my mother passed the only thing she left me was her sewing machine and her cloths, we donated the cloths and i kept the sewing machine, i do clean it every day and beside it to feel her presence.
You make me cry because i feel the same when remembering my father 😢
In my opinion, when you love somebody you don't need material stuff to remember them. They are always in your heart and in your mind. Personally speaking, heart and mind need decluttering sometimes.
I’m proud of you for donating her clothes. She would have wanted other women to benefit from her and her life. It’s a hard thing to do, but always remember that you made the right choice. Much love to you!
@@ottersimms7672 thank you very much
I have my dad's arrowheads and flag (MP in the army). Although my dad and I did not get along, I show them to my students and tell them how they were used.
Matt's one-liners in this episode are the BEST! 😂
His Twitter is pretty funny. He's a natural wit.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVEEEE THIS DAUGHTER! 😂😂😂😂 “YEAH DUMPTH THE GRAPES” tough love
OMG - Matt's expression when putting the dusty bisquits in a container - I feel you Matt! And her blaming her granddaughter for getting contaminated with beatles and bringing them to school?! Uh-uh, the daughter is better than me, i'd be DONE with her.
Where the heck was child safety?
@@leeibbertson1184 in Oklahoma?? ^^; nobody gets called til things are past deadly, that just "ain't their way" in some parts
Sad how some people let one person in the family ruin things for everyone else.
Yes, but she is not a drug addict or gambling addict. She has issues but the good side is she is providing food to a whole lot of stray animals. They should donate most of her goods to a charity shops where the proceeds go towards an animal shelter.
Exactly and ruin relationships!
Sad how people ignorantly share their dumb opinion when they don't know anyones business. Stfu
Sad how blm allowed to kill innocent people and destroy cities and get away with it.
@@gorgeousfreeman4836 "Sad how people ignorantly share their dumb opinion when they don't know anyones business. Stfu"
"Sad how blm allowed to kill innocent people and destroy cities and get away with it."
WTF are you even doing? Did you ask someone to type those comments for you?
It's crazy that mental illness is such a taboo subject that you would ignore these types of signs for DECADES rather than confronting it in a constructive way. Sad the level of sickness these people have and the excuses for their behavior. This show is proof positive that we need to start treating mental health with the the same urgency we do physical health.
Folie a deux??
@@SHurd-rc2go That and a number of other issues...delusion is certainly one of the main ingredients it seems, but I'm not therapist. I just think we all need to be more honest with each other and put the same emphasis on Mental health that we do physical.
What I’ve learned is it’s darn near impossible to get mentally needy people help. I was basically told, it’s their choice, their freedom. Ok, but their mental illness is holding them captive and they aren’t making “free” choices. They are making choices through a brain that’s not functioning properly. Tough luck. When they are a danger then they’ll do something. It’s too late.
@@trishayamada807 true, as someone who has mental health issues the person has to wants help, if they refuse, theres almost nothing you can do
@@stinkystonr I had a breakdown with the adult protection services and they offered ME help!
Yooo I live a pretty simple and minimal life and I still find myself tired, keeping a clean house (laundry, vacum, bathroom, dusting, etc), watering a few plants, cooking dinner every night on top of a full time job. I will never understand how people keep up with loads of cars, animals...
They don't.
@@ijnet9247 True
they’ll just not deal not with it and it ends up this bad
They don't have a full time job to keep them busy
Me too
“We don’t want our children around it.” Ouch. Brutal honesty
That room will be full in no time. My heart was breaking the whole episode. They seem so sweet but she's made it clear she's not parting with her stuff even if her family doesnt come around 😭😭
She's by far the stubborn hoarder I've seen on the show.
The woman with the 14 kids was worse.
@@barbarameyer649 we never got to hear why she turned out like that
They had an episode with a woman from NC living a house she no longer owned full of stuff. She ended up homeless.
@@habibahgooden I think you’re talking about that interior designer living in a beautiful old mansion that those two guys had recently purchased and I agree with you-she was the absolute worst.
All hoarders have major issues when others try to clear out their houses.
Understanding hoarders is like teaching a blind person the difference between red and blue: it's impossible. Hoarders are pathologically afraid to lose things, no matter how useless they are.
bad simile
They’re disgusting
@@Meangirl22 do you make moral judgements about people with other mental disorders, schizophrenia, clinical depressions and bipolar?
@@Meangirl22 I am glad most are not like you and they are willing to help these hoarders
Like when the other therapist (bald guy) took a pen from a woman’s house and he came back 5yrs later and asked what he took she knew exactly what it was and where he took it from
I think a lot of hoarders think they're going to live a hundred more years.
This is so on point
I’m 9 minutes in and I’m getting pseudo-PTSD from my friends mom
She was very much like this lady… the strategy with hoarders like her *~isn’t~* to be confrontational. When you get assertive with this type, all they will do is double and triple down on their position, get angry and then shut down completely. The husband clearly recognizes is but he’s also supporting his wife in her impenetrable stance
What I found to be moderately successful is to be willing to give them a chance to follow through. In this case, start a SMALL pile of wash->donate stuff. When it gets to a laundry basket sized volume (nearly instantly) pass it to her and ask her to start a load so it can be donated later that day
After 2-3 loads worth she likely would’ve either accepted that it was a mountainous task and accept that those would-be donations are dumpster bound, or she would follow through and show willingness to run a couple hundred loads of laundry over time and then donate as intended…
Either way it prevents to rising tensions that stall/prevent progress. An angry hoarder is the least productive of all
The husband lost his balls a long time ago, if he ever had them.
Very smart strategy
I feel bad for Matt.
He just seems defeated on this one, and he did everything he could.
I'm made at Margie just for upsetting Matt!
@@kellyrasberry7477 100%. Matt knows when to be tough and when not to be tough. He's a saint! 😉
Matt is great. Such patience, but he also tells it like it is.
The fact she had an episode all for her explains how bad the situation is.
True that! Excuses, Depression era? Not hardly, they aren't that old. This is national because its a real problem in America. We are learning!
This a problem in Britain, lots of hoarders.
It's the new format
The newer episodes are 1 hoarder and 1 1/2 hours instead of 2 hoarders which I preferred.
@@smusky4643 Many Americans are hoarders…there’s just an unspoken rule that if it’s kept to your garage it’s fine.
I just thoroughly cleaned my apt but now I'm getting the urge to clean something else
I usually clean my refrigerator after I watch this show.
Margie is a mean mother to her husband. He needs to say throw her stuff out.
I reorganize the museum storage after this.
Me too. I just came off an unloading binge 4 months ago and seeing this, I"m going back at it and giving away/binning more. Once you start (and it's hard) it gets easier to toss it.
I love my stuff but in the last year's have donated on average a box a month to thrift stores. I have a few things that are worth something that will go to a store that prices accordingly. Someone will get a treasure. I lose the stress of not using it and seeing it.
I can't stand selfish people, and she's cold as ice, I really feel for her kids. It's her way or no way.
This woman seems oblivious to the stress and misery that she's put her very caring family through.
You people are pathetic.
This is "Hoarders". What do you *expect* to see?
Or are you just commenting to comment? 🤦♂️🙄🤣
I didn't see it the same way as you did. Hoarding is about control over your own life and filling a void. They went through something tragic that they had no control over, and so they find comfort when they can control their environment. If you go in and try to control everything thing they do, they are going to get mad. Heck, I think most people would get mad if someone was trying to boss them around.....
Her kids, especially her daughter, was making it all about her. The hoarding had nothing to do with her. Once she realizes that, she will be a happier person.
yeah im not so sure about that part that she is helping the homeless, and buying stuff to give away to them. She might think that as an excuse to buy stuff, but then she keeps it.
Mental illness is not "selfishness."
Anyone else watch these to motivate themselves to clean?
Absolutely 💯
Absolutely!!
Totally!
Yes, yes, yes!
Yep, I'm right there with you!
This lady is mean. The way she talks to her family is just awful!
She treats her own environment around her horribly, why would other people be any different?
selfish and greedy.
" things " are more important then people, including her family.
This lady is ILL.
They had no shame in how they live. Which is seriously disturbing and disgusting. Poor kids and grandkids. First episode Ive seen in years with almost no progress done. Sad
Same here. Must be so frustrating to see it all go back into the house. Hardly touched the side of it!
Very bittersweet episode it was frustrating seeing Margie fight for trash smh her husband was even trying to convince her and he's a hoarder too that is just how sick she is. It was nice to see that tiny glimmer of hope at the end when she agreed to get rid of stuff to have that 1 clean room but this is just a sad outcome.
He enabled her?!!! These husbands need to put their foot down sometimes? So many are in financial trouble and the wife just keeps buying more cr*p? I see husbands that complain when the team arrive ...about all the stuff. THEN "I just want to see her happy'???
This is so heartbreaking my mother is also a hoarder. After she and my dad separated (she left with nothing but the clothes she was wearing, she’s never recovered psychologically). She keeps buying tons of second hand clothing. Her entire house is full of clothes and lives in a different city from us (her kids). It’s so bad that she keeps losing her phones under the pile of clothes. She’s so attached to her stuff that she hasn’t spent Christmas with us cause she feels like someone’s going to steal her stuff. I don’t wish this on anyone, I got a bigger house so she can live with us but she refuses to move. I’m always scared that one day I will get a call that her house has burned down or something terrible has happened cause of the stuff in her house.
Sorry you have to go through that. 😢 Hoarding is a mental illness that requires help in some form. It's like an addiction where the addict knows it's harmful to them but they just can't stop.
That’s very accurate I hope she’ll eventually agree to going for therapy so she can get professional help
so ok a clean living room but what about the kitchen and didn't even show a bathroom. this one was so very sad
They should call APS and just burn the house down
14:50 this is the strategy I feel you should use on every episode. Get everything out and make them pick what comes back in. Even if it doesn't work 100% of the time, it gives them the opportunity to see what life could be like unburdened by stuff. They would have to consciously choose to bring garbage back into the house. I think a lot of times hordes get to these levels because it's a slow burn instead of a sharp instant pain.
i completely agree with you!
This was probably one of the only properties they had the space to do that, most of the houses they do are in neighborhoods.
In a british hoarder show they do it. They bring the stuff in a warehouse where the people should select their most precious items.
I still think, after watching so many of these shows, when someone is that controlling of everyone around them, it's because they enjoy the "power" of control, and are often very selfish/narcissistic too.
Margie is like my mother and it's about control and narcissism
@Crimson Outdoors Co. my mother is about control and she's a hoarder
Absolutely...all of these hoarders have a control issue. They are using the hoard to control others. I think many of them are very manipulative and often are narcissists.
It annoys me how so many people are prepared to categorise others as narcissistic when they are not. Hoarding IS about control; but it's more to do with personal control rather than trying to control others. Hoarding is the manifestation of deeply rooted psychological problems such as fear, anxiety and depression.
@@oxorox972 narcissism is also rooted in similar personal issues
It’s this show and people like this that modeivate me every week to clean my house like after watching this show all I wanna do is organize and declutter my whole house lol
😔 I’m 37 and a hoarder. My mother was, her father was and his mother was. 😭😭 I keep hoping watching this will give me inspiration.
Start with one thing. Write down how that one thing brings you joy or serves a specific purpose for you today. It you can't do either, toss that one thing. Then write down how you feel about it. Is it ok? Are you able to move past it? It it is difficult, seek someone who can help you move past it. Then, when you can, on to the next thing. I give this advice because I do a similar activity. I don't write it down but I consider it carefully. At the end, I'm fine. So one thing at a time. The try to see if you can do more...get someone to help you get through it. You can do it.
You hord even your YT name seven times the same. 🤔🙄😳For goodness sake’s get your act together. When you die you will take nothing with you.
I think acknowledging it is a big step. I wish you well.
Can you Donate some items ?
@@neotheboxer really great and empathetic advice.
I can’t imagine working day in and day out with people who desperately need the help but fight against it. Giving so much sweat and support only to carry it right back in 😥
This is why we designed our little house with our elderly years in mind, and decluttering.
We did as well. Service people freak out when they go into our attic and there is nothing up there except A/C, heat, and water heater. House is semi-minimalist too, and getting better every year. A place for everything, and everything in it's place. I do not want to leave a mess for my kids.
So smart! As we age we should be filling space with meditation/prayer and love! Giving material "stuff" away!
Can you make a video and post it? I wanna get inspired, please.
What she doesn't realize is...when she dies, her kids are going to have to throw it all away.
@@nadineknows29 oh dear, im sorry, I dont know how to post videos. I am not tech savvy.
Hoarders ruin and control people's lives. My mother is one. I've been resentful as long as I can remember.
Oh my gosh, this woman reminds me of my mother. "don't throw away the rotten food, I'll feed it to my chicken's", she always says. And "don't toss that broken plate, put it in the green house for my plants"... They literally cannot throw garbage away!! It drives me insane!!
And I HATE the excuse of "I grew up with depression era parents, we don't just throw anything away". But my mom's parents (my grandparents, god rest their souls, they both passed away 6 months ago), they NEVER had a messy or cluttered home. They were always clean and neat, but my mom has always been messy and made excuses of being too busy and too tired to clean anything. She still makes that excuse at 68 years old. It's heartbreaking.
Hello, how’re you doing?
Omg she's like my mom with with the chickens and food growing up I was in a clean house now its a holder's one
My mom is the same way...I've given her a new item to replace something that is broken, and she will hang onto the broken item (eg., broken glass turkey baster) b/c she might need it or she sees that it's still partially useful. It's beyond insane.
That husband has enabled his selfish wife to control the household & family by making excuses for her. This woman is beyond help I believe.
My mom worked briefly in the cheese department at Wegmans. She would tell me husbands would not sample a piece of cheese until they received permission from their wife. Sad.
@@shrapnel77 that’s a shame
The husband is a hoarder too.
@@shrapnel77 this is a big issue that no one talks about
It's two addicts enabling eachother. Sick, sick dynamic.
I saw this a lot growing up in Oklahoma, but it was not only the depression that caused people to hang on to stuff. The dust bowl was also a contributing factor, at least for my great grandparents.
Money is hard to come by here so we are resourceful with what we have
Also being dirt poor. And their ancestors being dirt poor. I say that because my family’s the same.
If they fill that room up again, the family should call Adult Protective Services on them. So sad.
Their living situation is already an APS call.
Do they have APS in that state?
Their is something called adult protective service?
@@moniho6907 yes
@@WestJason9 every state should have a state level of adult protective services and a local level of adult protective services. Unfortunately, like most social services, they are terribly underfunded and can't always provide the help that is needed.
That "PUT THAT BACK!" sounded threatening
Margie’s a mean old bulldog.
Are these people even fit to be unsupervised with children? Decaying rotting foods are saved to be canned??!! And they cannot understand what the problem is...
Uggggghhh, canning ROTTING food?!🤢🤢🤮🤮
I bet she cans up her diarrhea because she might use it later
"I've been ignored by many women in my life, but not like this" I love matt
It has taken me now 2 years to deal with my mothers hoard after she passed. 2 YEARS. And she didn't have nearly this much!
Im 2 yrs into a 3 acre hoard my father left and its looking like another 5 to go
My father's property is next door... and with all the stuff at his house (nowhere near the amount at Margie's) and the other "houses" and properties he owns, I fear it will take me years as well
@@banditpoon714 If you'll be looking at it like that, there are house flipper companies who buy the house/property and all it's contents. You sign agreements on if they find anything of importance (documents, etc) but they otherwise deal with the whole mess.
@@TheMrsEmpty thanks for the info! I've honestly thought of maybe doing something like that when the time comes. I have already handled and cleaned out so many estates in my younger years that I know this task, when it comes, will be the biggest of my life. Thank you once again!
Took my mother and aunt almost 3 years to clear it out to sell the house. My grandparents were very clean and tidy, but boy did they pack and organize enough stuff for five or six families. Both had been poor growing up, and they had survived the Great Depression/ Their place looked nothing like any of these Hoarders episodes. Their house looked full, but normal. However, attic, cellar, garage, extra rooms were chock-a-block full. Beautifully organized, but full. No filth, vermin, or yuck factors.
This was a really sad episode. I hope they get the help they need
The most frustrating case I've seen so far. 😕
"I will continue cleaning "... She hasn't done it in the last 10 years, there's no way to believe her, especially if she will have spinal surgery. ☹️
I feel sorry for their children and grandchildren.
She'll NEVER change. I feel bad for her family!
They take pride in suffering like their ancestors did… man that hit home
Clue was right at the beginning when the both admitted they were hoarders and then - smiled for the camera.
Hope my hair goes as white as this couple when I get old. Wow I love that pure white hair !
Me too! My mom and gramma went that salt and pepper never fully grey or white and I don’t want that. I do have blonde hair and they did not so I’m hoping! That white/silver is so shiny and looks great.
It’s so pretty !!! Girls literally dye their hair to be that color
my great grandmas hair never really faded. it was weird
She died at 97 still with a tony tint of her strawberry blond hair
I either want the white or hers
🤣
@@kjlandon9140 same with my grandma. Died at 94 with a full head of auburn hair.
Some people are beyond help. She doesn't want help, neither does the husband.
Husband is the one trying to convince her to let go of sutff what do you mean. Obviously he wants to sort the house
Dr. Zasio is a saint, she is right up there with Dr. Nowzarden from 600lb life. I could never be patient enough to work with people like this.
I hope she’s happy with herself. How embarrassing. I’d do anything for my kids. If they can’t be with me, why do I even have a house?
She was adamant about keeping that biscuit.
The possums might want a midnight snack
She will keep on hoarding. No doubt
She's gonna go shopping & fill it back up. She even admitted to being a shopping addict.
@@smusky4643 to me there is a difference between hoarding and a shopaholic because I live with a husband who is a shopaholic! It’s not to care about other people whatsoever!!!!It’s for selfish reasons and that’s all it is
@@brennyhughes7251 thank you for being truthful. That's hoarders fantasies - they are going to sell it, give it to someone to use, they have a project they will do blah, blah, blah. Sorry it sounds hard but it isn't for anyone else - they want to keep the piles for themselves.
David:😶😶😭😭😭😭😭
I agree both of them.
This is by far the most frustrating and difficult hoarder I've seen
Seems to me that the grandmother never asked for help and she was perfectly fine with seeing her grandkids outside of the home things are never going to change until she wants to change
What a good mom standing up for her kiddos ❤
This couple needs deep, deep DEEP therapy before they can even think about cleaning the house out. Seriously. There is a lot more wrong the mother, she can't see the forest for her hoard. Attacking her while she is in protect mode is not going to do much at all.
My family and I were overwhelmed with 70 tons of stuff. Can't even imagine 500 tons. Also THE FISH. Oh. My. God. It's a miracle there are still fish in there. I swear if the water she dumped in there didn't kill them then the cleaning did. Jesus Christ.
Hoarding disorder is usually accompanied with other underlying issues especially anxiety and depression. Psychotherapy that includes cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is often a necessity to help them. Their family are too emotionally connected to be of great help since the hoarder doesn’t see the problem and have already chosen their stuff over their family...because they have a mental health disorder!
The level of justification and manipulation they will go to is difficult to deal with.
Absolutely! I think these families should have therapy and possibly medication before attempting a clean out. Of course, that wouldn't make for an interesting show.
@@annieoakley2925 I think it would but American tv is trash based on drama only.
Bethel seems like someone who will be able to overcome hoarding, you can notice him arguing trying to convince margie, pushing himself to surpass it, and even advance to the point he get mad for not being able to progress with it.
But Margie... There's nooo way she will surpass it and will keep doing it. It seems like a situation where Bethel will reach a point and decide to have his own private room to live while leaving Margie the rest of the house to do whatever she wants with it.
I cleaned out my house shortly after my husband died. He was a Navy Cook & he was a good cook. I am one of those people that keeps what is needed. Less dishes to wash.
One of the adult children said something along the lines of "I just want my kids to have grandparents" what she left out is "normal" - she wants them to have "normal" grandparents, but you can't pretend that the reality of what their kids grandparents actually are isn't happening. The adult child is in some ways trying to force the grandparents to change, but no change will happen unless it comes from the 2 hoarding grandparents.
I don't think she left out the word "normal". She didn't use it/add it because its not relevent. They don't have grandparents if they can't spend time with them.
I really can't understand, how someone can be totally okay with disappointing so many people and wasting their time. I would feel ashamed, if somebody would see me living like that, and my only wish would be getting rid of all that dirty stuff as soon as possible. Hoarding is such an egoistic disorder and I don't get, why hoarders don't see how locked in they are between their rubbish.
I mean…by that logic all mental disorders are egoic. That’s where the frustration comes from. But when you view it from the standpoint of they are quite literally not in possession of a normal functioning brain like yours or mine, then you can start to actually work on helping them heal. It’s a disorder based in fear and anxiety. You try telling a anxious person to stop being anxious and let me know how that works out.
Macy not doing a good job of running the house 😂 it’s filthy! Time to take over and clean mom and dad. Your pets deserve a nice home too.
Good to see her husband to start being tough with her. She is so rude and ungrateful. She’s hurting her family. As a mother I wonder how she got to this point of hurting them and shutting them out. She hopes she doesn’t regret it for the rest of her life, getting rid of some things. Regret the lost memories for your children and grandchildren, she don’t care 🤷♀️
Thanks to Marie Kondo I decluttered so many things. I regrettet none. Did I think: "Oh, this book as a reference would be nice!" yes. Did it make my life miserable? No! Makes my house me happy now? YES! I'd throw out any physical posession for having a clean and easy manageable house. No physical item is worth more than my peace of mind. I want space in my house for the people I love. Not for stuff. Stuff is replaceable. People are not.
My mom was a hoarder and i remember it was hard living in the house with so many things. Boxes and boxes of clothes and stuff everywhere. When we became adults, my siblings and i either became super clean to the point of having ocd or just hoardes other stuff in a small way like hoarding too much food or buying clothes they don't neccesarily need. I am one of the former and keep a minimalist house.
Hoarding is a mental disorder involving OCD, severe anxiety and depression, and unresolved grief and loss issues. That’s why people can’t “see” what others do and are so frustrating to deal with. They lack insight, because they are defending themselves against unbearable feelings. Failure to deal with these issues expresses itself as hoarding behavior. Sometimes the issues are so painful because they are pre-verbal, and they often demonstrate a lack of object consistency, ie, if they lose the object, they can’t hold on to the memory associated with the object. It’s extremely complex, and relapse behavior is common without the proper treatment and support.
As a hoarder I can say that your assessment is 100% correct. It's also an attempt to protect ourselves from more bad things happening in our lives.
Thank you for this. I’ve seen my movement toward cluttering my home, and this is something I knew, but couldn’t have articulated. I really appreciate the perspective this gave me.
ty really nice to read your words that you get it
Finally... an educated comment with no personal, immature opinions!
But the bottom line is you cannot successfully force someone to get help who denies they have a problem.
Particularly a hoarder.
They will just dig their heels in and fight harder. It is the only way THEY maintain control in a situation that is out of control to everyone one else.
Just accept that it is an illness and that you will never go into their home.
YOU have to love the hoarder more than THEY love their stuff. They have a mental illness. Is it frustrating? Of course, but they also have the freedom to live in squalor as much as you have the freedom to avoid it.
Speaking from experience.
I remember saying the same thing to my mama-- that when she died, it'd be easier to torch the place than go through it all.
Over and over the kids are saying how they care and want to see them and the hoarders are thinking I'm happy I wish they'd leave me alone
Margie will DEFINITELY rehoard the living room!!! It's clean for now but I'm sure it won't stay that way.
My husband is a hoarder. I'm the opposite not a hoarder. My husband gets mad if I donate something of his.
I mean, if she doesn't care about having her grandkids come to her house, they should all stop caring whether she comes to theirs.
I would not have the patience to deal with this situation. One hoarder in a household is bad enough, but two is almost impossible. An awful disorder to try and deal with and the chances are that they will slip back into hoarding after the clean up. They both need therapy.
The husband doesn't seem so bad though
I completely understand the feeling of wanting your kids to have grand parents, or sucks. My dad is slightly a hoarder and now he has bed bugs :/ I’m too poor to do anything and now I’m pregnant, I live far from him.
I keep trying to instigate conversations about him getting everything thrown away and steamed / heat treated he just gives a lazy response. He doesn’t care about me, and I doubt he will care enough when he finds out I’m pregnant.
It sucks.
It truly does.
You are a good daughter being concerned about him, some children don’t care. I’m sorry you feel hopeless being unable to financially help him. All you can do is continue to try and speak to him about it, I’m sure he does indeed love you and perhaps your pregnancy news would be a great source of joy for him..congratulations sweetie.
I can’t imagine not having any money and ending up pregnant.
Babies are expensive and if you’re in the USA, things are hard with not much help.
@@sarcasticallyrearranged yes. I read that and I’d be depressed if I was poor and pregnant. What a situation haha.
I think you're better off just breaking ties with your dad. He doesn't care about you or your kids. He doesn't even care about himself. It's hard to do but fighting a losing battle with him is going to cause more pain and drama in your life. Good luck.
Of course he doesn't care. Family is only a random meaningless collection of people we happened to be related to.
I bet if they would have started throwing things away when she wasn’t looking she would have never missed it. When you have that much stuff, you truly forget about things you’ve gotten in the past. Her kids should have known if it was linked to a memory, and if not just throw it away. I’m sure she wouldn’t have noticed with that much stuff
My husband did that with my mother in law. They put her to work in one room, sorting some things, while they carried loads and loads out to the bin. She never missed it.
Sometimes hoarders are like dragons. They know every little thing that is missing .
My dad could tell when things were moved
exactly, just bin it.
She literary chose her stuff over her grandchildren and children
Anyone who helps these people are angels. I am a minimalist. I hate clutter and if something comes in the house, some thing goes, donate or give away. I am at the point in my life where I don’t want my daughter dealing with my stuff. Everything is cleaned out. Thankful that I have a niece close to my age, and is my height, and shoe size. She doesn’t spend money on herself, so she gets treats from Auntie.