When you are considered a beautiful woman some men will literally go out of their to humble you just for your looks alone. Some men will be more envious than the women
This is a fact! I had a man while I was in a cruise ship come up to me just to say “because you think you’re pretty and….” He proceeded to describe how I must be arrogant because of how I carry myself 😭mind you guys I am the most calm spirited quiet girl
Agreed I can't stress how much I see men state pretty women are a dime a dozen and replaceable when they can't get a pretty girl themselves or if they do they drive her away
This is good. I’m learning to embrace my beauty. No matter how many men harass me or how many women hate me.. I embrace it everyday! I set boundaries against every man or woman that tries me. It’s tiring but I will NOT hide my beauty. I know I’m beautiful because I hear how beautiful, pretty or gorgeous I am everyday.
I was literally talking to a guy friend about this. I’ve always feel like I’m always dressing down/ downplaying myself around people to make THEM feel comfortable. Especially other women. Even family.
I’ve done that! Especially around others’ husbands! It all started when I lost 50pds then my cousin made a sly comment while I was visiting her and her family! She was someone who has always supported me and I was surprised by her behavior after I lost weight! Since, I’ve dimmed my beauty around women’s husbands in an attempt to make them feel comfortable!
Same here!!!!! I realised that being around people who are confident is so important. We may not always be confident but confidence is silent while jealousy and envy is loud
This!!! I had a roommate for 5 months and I didn’t feel comfortable letting her see me all dolled up. I started keeping my hair wrapped up all of the time or either in plats, or throwing a hat on and I have waist length hair that I love wearing because it’s mine, and it’s my crown and glory. My ex roomie was cute, but she relied on makeup, colored contacts, and tail bone length wigs and I noticed whenever she did catch me heading out on a date, or either hanging out with friends she would go into a frenzy about her appearance. Ish was wild. I don’t want to live like that anymore
Omg I relate to this so much. People always talk about pretty privilege but no one talks about the trauma that comes from being pretty. The family hating on you, feeling the need to shrink yourself around friends/other women, men trying to humble you for no reason at all smh. I thought I was just being sensitive lol
You mentioned the fear of being seen and I realize that’s a real problem for me. I am LS and always been on the heavy side. When I lose weight, I get a lot more attention and it makes me really uncomfortable. The attention from men makes me anxious from past trauma. I realized that I self sabotage to stay “invisible” to men and “safe” for women.
I can relate, you are definitely not alone. Working on my weight now. I'm at that age where I can't afford to "hide" behind the weight anymore for health reasons but I definitely relate to wanting to
Its taken me 28yrs to appreciate my beauty and be proud of it.. i no longer feel embarrassed or tone down my looks.. i will not let anyone's opinion dictate how i see myself.. period!
“You tie your self-esteem to how pretty women react to you” omgggg this is so good and true! Being pretty in the 9-5 workplace is so detrimental to pretty women because you constantly have this weird unwanted obligation to validate people who put you on this unasked for pedestal and if you don’t then all the bashing, bullying, excluding, abandonment, etc happens. I’ve even had coworkers give me the silent treatment and not want to help me with work if I didn’t validate them enough! It’s sickening and draining!!!
Girl yes! I used to work a 9-5 at Walgreens and dealt with that shii a lot from coworkers and customers. There was a time this old lady called me out my name for no damn reason while I was ringing her up. Miserable mfs will really go out they way to make you feel bad.
Being an introvert and pretty and having a hard time faking nice and happy 24/7 can be painful to be around others when you just want to live life quiet.
I STG its exhausting. All while you dealing wit your own mess at home. Sometimes I didn't know who was insecure and needed validating. But lawd it wasn't even included in my freaking pay. Well they finally ordered me severance. N I took that shit. Too many times I've left out of frustrating circumstances. I've suffered from being constantly accused of false shit just to get the clique against me. 😢
@lainfoz9310 girl. N don't be too quiet to keep your mental peace cuz now you looking sneaky and they watching everything move u make. They already plotting cuz u getting quiet means they can't trigger you n get you on something else. Let me tell you, this HR thing.... I can't wait till AI takes all their positions. Evil ppl
I thought I was being arrogant for relating to this channel and I’m so glad you addressed this! People have such a problem with confident beautiful women .
Yes! Any time you admit any positive qualities about yourself people call it arrogant. I’m tired of being pressured into having low no self esteem. I’m taking my confidence back!
@ExoticalsUnited ME too, you just motivated me to say a prayer asking God to give me the strength & protection for my beauty resurgence. I'm done diminishing my beauty. My mother always flexed hers and I thought it was too much (it really was though 😂), but I never had to flaunt mine at all and got flack for it. NOW, IDGAF anymore!
Its really, really disturbing....ughhh I ask God for strength to handle it. In the meantime I drink lots of water, remain humble, stay in shape and keep the flyest hair styles lol
This is a healing experience.. I’ve been afraid of my beauty most of my life… last 5 years it got worse… religious abuse and constant jealously of other women as well as creepy stairs of older men…Envy of friends and possessive comments of guys…
@@dearbrave4183omg I noticed these murder cases of friends have one thing in common. The victim is always pretty!!! And her “friends” always look rough and muffled like predators.
I feel you Sis. I even stopped doing my hair, and taking care of myself. I stopped caring about what clothes I wear 🥺 this world has torn me down, and I let it 😭 but God will make me stand up again 🙏🏾💗 Love yourself 🥰🎀
This is so so real! “Nobody notices when the ugly girl has acne….” Omg yes the many times I was nitpicked over the smallest things in Highschool , I was 100% convinced I was ugly because people TREATED ME like i was ugly! “You think you’re all that but you’re not!” Omg the many times coworkers were angry because I said goodmorning one day and didn’t say it the next or why I’m minding my business in the break room…. Social anxiety and fear held me back for sure. I wanted to be invisible and attract as little attention as possible. I felt confused about my appearance my whole entire life. Compliments from strangers and then treated like shit by friends/family. I have so much body dysmorphia. Low self esteem BAD. You’ve encouraged me to take my confidence back. I don’t want to be afraid of my beauty anymore! Thank you I love your channel 🫶🏼❤
I didn't know I was pretty until I went to a psychic and she told me every woman in my family was jealous of me. Then I realized they never supported me, talked down to me, tried to kill my self esteem since I was a child. And I have been abandoned. I was being told I was too skinny, too tall and weird looking. Also men has been very abusive and controlling to me all my life, people have tried to destroy me over some damn beauty. It's sick.
This is true. My female relatives on my mother's side were very hateful towards me because I am better looking than them with the hair type they're envious of.
I have experienced this so many times in my life. I was constantly afraid to stand out for the reasons you mentioned. I wish that I would have had the confidence to enjoy the way I was created. Thank you for discussing this topic. I have never had a safe place or a community where I felt it was ok to discuss the topics that you feature here. Thank you❤
I never felt the need to dumb down my looks or intelligence. I was raised by wolves and ended up in foster care. I think a lot of people self esteem is low because, of the people that raised them and the environment they grew up in. I was constantly moving around and went to different schools. I was always the new girl. People initially tried to bully me and I made an example out of one person then, they knew not to try me. Never dim your light for those in the darkness.
Even my aunties and some of my cousins accused me of thinking I'm all that. I have had a lot of trauma and Noone has ever showed compassion on me. I had to seek therapy and a relationship with God to get heal. Even my step dad accused me of wanting boys to look at me because I'm a hooper. I literally have Naturally big boobs so I spent my whole 20's hiding my beauty. I didn't want to be associated with being a whore and stupid. Plenty of gurls accused me of wanting their man and I was a whole child. I dressed like a Tom boy to protect myself from rejection and abuse. Now at 38 I'm not hiding anymore. I fixed my teeth and got accused of just getting braces for nothing. I fixed my teeth and my self esteem grew!! Love yourself first that's real power!!❤❤❤
Girls have never liked me. From k5 until now. "Friends" have always wanted to compete, and it was weird. I don't have friends because of this. Not to mention the shade in joking form.
@arabiamcmahan5778 I feel that so much. Sending you a hug! Even my white, fair, blonde haired/blue eyed acquaintances act really weird around me to the point I had to distance myself from them - I don’t get it because they literally are the “societal beauty standard.” 🤭 And I’ve become so suspicious of uabw - I feel bad about it but I’ve gotten burned a lot …
I’m white/Hispanic, so while I’m not the target audience, I relate to a lot of what you’re saying. Trigger warning: I lost my v-- through SA, after that I just didn’t want to be seen by anyone. I chopped all my hair off, wore baggy clothes, let myself go and gained some weight. I don’t think I was raised in a way that prepared me for dealing with men and being safe: I was homeschooled and my mom was not a pretty girl. “You think you’re all that, you’re conceited” are things I still hear from my parents. Men think I’m promiscuous. A female “friend” would point out all the little imperfections I had, make me look stupid in front of others. I’m really isolated right now, just trying to get through college. But I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m slowly trying to tap into my femininity by taking a dance class, wearing makeup regularly and putting more effort into my appearance. Again, I know your target audience was black women but this still validated a lot of my experiences. Because I’ve had people shut me down for saying exactly what you’re saying.
I have been told that I am 'stuckup' 'feeling like a celebrity' and a 'snob' by people who have just met me and don't know me at all... They need to neg you and judge you pretty quick in order for them to be fine... Men are Jealous of your beauty too...
This!!! I never saw my beauty until this one woman disliked me and started at me daily with hate in her eyes. I alchemized that to glow up even more :)
I learned 2 years ago that people were going to hate no matter what. I certainly attempted to dull my shine and everyone else as still jealous. Seriously, it seems like society has lost all efforts to look slightly decent so I was going to have to pretty much just pretend to be homeless to have friends. I decided I was sick of that and leveled back up.
You are so right about sometimes people h8te you just for existing, I’ve been out and women have just gone out of their way to try to insult me 🤦🏽♀️ in 2020 I went to deposit a check at a credit union and I noticed that the women that worked there never spoke to me. So this day in particular the woman that waited on me asked to see my I.d and she said hmmm, we’re the same age but you look older than me 🙄 I responded “ you’re the first person to ever say that I looked old for my age” I could have snapped on her but I knew that was what she wanted. She couldn’t even hold the hate in long enough for her to do her job 🤦🏽♀️
The fear of abandonment for being considered pretty, thank you for breaking it down for me! I was conflicted! This channel has been very informative! Thank you! 👑
Thank you sooo much for this video. This has been my whole life story since I was 17 and got out of my teenaged tomboy phase and started to dress girly and do my makeup. I’m 34 now and it’s just gotten WORSE. I live in a mostly white neighborhood and have a white husband. I’ve lost jobs because I’m a pretty black girl (mixed) having my white coworkers gang up to bully me to the point I quit. Not only do I come in as a black woman with pretty privilege but I come from a family with money and I have a very high IQ due to my Asperger’s even writing these things makes me tremble because I’m scared to say these things. People just use my intellect as an insult to call me weird or think I’m a know it all. I have the hide myself when I go out in public but I notice older white women stare me down and younger white woman give me the ‘she thinks she’s all that’ backhanded attention and compliments. Perhaps the worse is my mother in law and her mom HATE ME, they’re lower income white people and they despised me from day one. So much so a person observing how they talk to me said ‘those people literally hate you so much I can see it in their eyes’. I just can’t escape, it’s like they want me to dull my shine. But I like dressing girly, I love doing my makeup and hair. To lose these things is to lose myself. 😢
One thing I’ve noticed is- I find myself like… wearing things that will not make me stand out as much sometimes, to make OTHER people feel better. It’s a weird, subconscious thing. But at my jobs, the women are usually super jealous because I’m beautiful and dress fly. Plus I look 8 years younger than my age. M I refuse to dim. Nope- never ever again. It feels horrible later on.
I also see really unattractive men tell beautiful women they are ugly. They try to bring them down. Ive had this happen to me a couple of times. Ive also been told im not as beautiful as girls in their 20s because im 39. But i still look young.
My own mother was such a toxic narcissistic jealous person against my beauty and helped my sister ruin parts of my life as she was feeling the same. The jealously from women had me very confused at first then I grew tired.
Confession: Sometimes, depending on the situation, I have to downplay my looks or intentionally look odd for me to be taken seriously. When I look good I’ve noticed people talking down to me. I’m not saying pretty p. is all misery, but in the workplace it really is. Also finding genuine friends is hard.
I’m 41 and can still relate to this. You described what I’ve dealt with most of my life and still do. I’m glad that I discovered your channel because not a lot of women understand what attractive women really go through…they only see the pretty privilege
Wow. I can relate. I'm almost 50 I still have jealousy aimed at me because I'm still called beautiful and pretty and I'm almost 50. I am constantly told that I look like I'm in my 30s. I'm so glad I came across this video and channel.
@@ebonyg9632 the jealousy and hatred when you know you haven’t done anything wrong can be hurtful but at the end of the day beauty is a gift from God and they’re jealous of your gift. I’ve seen older women than me being picked on at the workplace for simply being beautiful gracious and well put together. I’m glad that I no longer care about how uncomfortable my beauty makes insecure women feel I wish I learned this at a younger age…not everyone is going to like me but I will never downplay myself again to make others feel comfortable
So much of this is true, you articulated it all really well. At 26 I am still trying to unpack it all and embrace my beauty. My mom would always dress in sweats, do the bare minimum appearance wise, remained overweight throughout my life and paid little attention to hygiene. As a child I always got so many compliments on my features and looks. My mom would demonize me for trying to enhance these things. She would keep me in sweats, activewear and unkempt hair - habits that I’m trying to undo today. On the rare occasions that I do put myself together I get called out by strangers for my beauty and I feel overwhelmed, watched and uncomfortable. I was never taught how to manage this and so I hide behind oversized clothes and minimalist makeup. You really unpacked a lot here.
Almost my whole family told me growing up that I thought I was better than them, and I’m stuck up, etc. Even dating I heard all those things. Pointing out flaws too. I have had women who were very insecure point out my flaws in a very public and ridiculing way. Where if I did the same to them, they would be ready to fight.
I remember this man in my neighborhood who always told me that I think I’m all that when I passed by. I was only 14 years old and did nothing special to my looks. He was older too like in his 30s or 40s. He was definitely a jealous man! Jealous of a child! I felt so intimidated that I started walking to school a different way.
He was not only jealous but probably also attracted to you and he knew it was wrong. Normally men who know they’ll never have you and men you ignore will try to humble you
I am a dark skin women and I still love your Channel I have always be played down on my beauty or I think im all that and got put down never praised on my beauty until my late 20s now 31 and really appreciating my beauty and becoming the women of my desires !
I think the reason why sometimes we get scared is because beauty is a form of social power/dominance and it naturally puts you out of the "underdog" category in terms of appearance. Everybody roots for the underdog and this is a form of psychological blanket where you feel protected by those who root for you. But when you look beautiful, no matter how many traumas you've endured, or if you grew up poor, or whatever other "underdog" categories might apply to you, you will still be seen as NOT the underdog, therefore NOT "deserving" of the cheerleaders and anyone expressing their support towards you on the basis of a "relatable" misfortune.
You have given us the language needed to express these experiences! What you said about the nitpicking is SO true!!!! Thank you for validating these feelings!
This 100% is a thing. I never understood it until recently. It's a social hierarchy thing like you mentioned. You automatically get raised to the top because of your features, which you do not or cannot control. That makes others envious. Every thing you said is so spot on! I know it too well.
right, its not like were just walking around "thinking were better"- OTHERS are constantly pointing out our differences or going out of their way to beef with us for no reason, making us feel othered.
This is all facts and so unfortunate. We're human, so yes we naturally compare ourselves but you must check your insecurities! There will always be someone that has something we don't. Thank God for your blessings and don't hate on others!! @@ExoticalsUnited
I’ve definitely been self sabotaging for the past year. 😢 over eating and gaining weight) because after i went through my first weightloss journey , i was very overwhelmed with the attention i was getting. I had just got out of a TWO LONG long , toxic, isolating relationshipS. I was starting to actually go out, I’ve always been the stay in the house type because of my relationships. so once i lost all my baby weight and depression weight and started going out into the world after 10 years of doing nothing! The attention i got because of my beauty overwhelmed me! Neither of the men i was with ever complimented me, my family didn’t really. So i never grew up thinking i was beautiful! I don’t know how to take compliments!It makes me feel awkward! and then i started noticing how terrible some women can be! The last two years have been rough…. I’ve gained 50 pounds and I don’t even feel like myself anymore…. I’m actively back in the gym, I’m done hiding from the world and I’m tired of trying to downplay my talents and beauty for the people around me. I’m going let my beautiful light shine brightly ! Fck whoever gets blinded by it.
This hits home!!🔥🔥🔥 I always did things to dull my shine because i got so tired of the smoke from other women and being fetishized by guys... Like girls literally wanted to fight me! Even as an older woman.. It doesn't change... Now because of this channel im embracing it❤
I needed this. This validated why my family would always instill fear in me about men, makeup and clothing. Women have admitted their jealousy towards me and men do crush on me a lot. I realize how I try to tone myself down a lot. I hate being in the spotlight sometimes. Lots of women compare themselves to me and downplay my talent. This video is healing. ❤
I’m not mixed but I definitely relate to this video. Being dark skin and beautiful not for the weak. My supervisor at work is so jealous of me she gone say, “why you always in them old men face” when she know them men be in my face and the electrician at my job who likes me told me she don’t like me and I didn’t believe him he said it’s because you look good and they don’t want nobody talking to you. And I’m the nice type speak to everybody and everything but now I’m realizing everything he ever said was true! My last day on the job is next week and I’m gone make my exit in silence 🥰
Damn. This hit home... HARD.😌 The fear of abandonment (by friends, a romantic partner, or the community I come from) for being "too pretty" is a very real thing. The constant little digs about me being "too much" come across as a threat that I'm on the verge of not being accepted anymore. So, I'd try to dim my own light to "allow" others to shine, except it NEVER works. The jealous ones are still angry and I can feel their negative energy coming off of them in waves.😟 I usually just ignore it but its palpable. I've always kept this fear of abandonment for being pretty a secret locked away in my own heart.😢 I never imagined that anyone else would ever understand this.🥹 Its not something that I felt was appropriate to share.
Omg! Thanks for talking about this! This video is extremely validating for me! Although I am an unambiguous black woman I have been attacked for my appearance for as long as I can remember. I’ve been given the silent treatment, stared at, criticized for wearing makeup (like it’s a crime), the list goes on. I used to catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and be in tears and no one understood what I was going through. Thank you soooo much! ❤❤❤❤
Omg that used to remind me of me ! whenever I was about to cry, looking in the mirror would strengthen me, it was as if looking at myself helped me remember who I am.
I’m not a mixed woman, I’m a brown skinned beauty, but sis I can relate to this! Growing up I had a really nice shape and developed really fast, (a solid curvy 160 at 15) and was always getting attention from grown and young men. Over the years I have dumbed down my beauty because my mom used to demonize me every time I put on an outfit that complimented my shape. She’d wait for me to get dress just so she could scope me out before we went anywhere. My family used to rush me out of the bathroom if they knew that I was doing my makeup and would tell me I didn’t need that, it’s wasting everyone’s time so I stopped doing my hair and makeup. I always wondered why I never fit in at school or in the community I lived in ( black neighborhoods) Now at 30 I realize that my beauty and aura always negatively affected others around me. These days the older women try to “little girl” me, younger women try to compete with me and the men try “humble me” when I stand on my standards. That early on trauma has set in. I’m trying to get back to that confidence because I do feel like it has diminished over the years due to the way that I was treated by the people around me.
Omg yea that’s so annoying when people are like “this isn’t a fashion show”, “you’re taking too long” , etc. it’s like they don’t want you to spend time pampering yourself
Beauty shaming is a real thing! I know I wasted my beauty trying to not offend my friends and lovers in my youth. I’m 44 now and it is what it is but people were kinda cruel to me after while despite me trying to please and accommodate them, not me. I don’t care anymore.. I’m standing confident in myself
Omg, the sabotage. The females at work constantly trying to micromanage me or have me written up. I had one girl who would literally make it a point to roll her eyes at me every time she saw me. I never spoke two words to her. I caught some other girl peeking over the cubicles to stare at me. One of my so-called best friends jumped at an opportunity to slander me online. She can’t say I ever did anything to her. I personally never thought that I was better than anybody else, but society definitely separated me into some category I never asked to be in. I watch how insecure women act when they have their man around you versus them alone. I walked into a Cuban bakery with two Spanish women talking, and I saw them exchange glances and go very quiet. And that goes for family, friends, and associates the same. Now that I’m older, I’m wise to it.
Yes! I feel like a lot of women are afraid of being “too pretty” because of the risk of being assaulted, more people being jealous, unwanted attention etc
Yes even when you choose to enhance yourself or doll yourself it has become a problem too because when you get glamed up from your natural beauty, it becomes a threat. It could be your birthday and you have a whole makeover and it's a problem lol
@@bibibomba4515 so right on that. there's this polarity on how we should wear our hair, natural or enhanced. whereas it is still made to be into a comparison. we truly can not win on how we come to create and make ourselves without taking our own validation among others because we are all different just similar connections in a way. but we do win living in our authenticity and going with what is good-fully right for us. that's all that matters. our happiness can't fill everyone's satisfactions and their happiness can't make us happy.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I love you !!! The part where you explain we hide our own beauty because of a trauma response. Smh. When jealousy comes from family, friends, jobs, and strangers. Sometimes you just keep your beauty to yourself or wait for someone to appreciate your beauty and treat it as a privilege to experience and be around.
You touched on sooooooo much omg! Especially things from childhood. At 31 I realized so much bullying and hatred I experienced was only because they were mad at how pretty I was and probably even more mad that I had no Clue lol
I’m considerded an “attractive” black man and Im also bisexual so I get attention from both sexes. I resonate with so much of this. I have learned over the years that whenever I get in the gym and start getting more & more conventionally attractive, the amount of attention I get has been overwhelming, unwanted. I am VERY sensitive to other people’s energies. I have had severe body dysmorphia at a point in my life, binge eating, massive weight loss and weight gain etc. You become a target of a lot of negativity, crabs in a bucket mentality by others, etc. I have had to really come to terms with the fact that the more attractive I become the more I feel unequipped to manage the new kinds of stress. I literally had someone go and take my pictures and create a fake profile of me trying to smear me because I didn’t end up wanting to move forward with them. It’s crazy the lengths people will go to try to tear you down when they perceive you as being “above” them. And then when you have more to lose than them, you can’t retaliate bc it won’t impact them like it will you.
I’ve been hiding A LOT. It makes me uncomfortable when people, especially young girls who don’t look like me call me beautiful/pretty. Not too long ago I decided to wear one of my pretty dresses to work. I got so much attention that I rushed home to change before running my necessary errands. It definitely scared me, but this has convinced me to be brave and stop hiding. The same way I want those young women to embrace their beauty, I must learn to embrace mine.
I can definitely relate to dimming myself and my beauty down as a trauma response. Even actively destroying yourself and your beauty because of trauma. Did it for years. To avoid being harrassed, SA’ed, stalked and being hypervisible. Subconsiously blamed myself all that time. After getting help for mental health. Now I know better and do better. Will not dim down myself for anybody.
All of this hits home! I’m glad we can have these conversations without getting accused of boasting. One thing that was really heartbreaking when I was dating was the amount of men that could not see past their lust. It was a breath of fresh air when I found my man who spent time to actually get to know me. Not once did I ever feel pressured or objectified. It’s really sad how rare that is. The ones that were jealous were entertaining 😅 on top of being beautiful… I’m also talented, articulate, and had a lot of other things going on. A lot of men admitted to feeling intimidated by that.
Can I tell y’all something? I always wear long cardigans or vest that covers my butt, because when I was younger I would hear inappropriate comments on how big my butt is from men and women. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. One day at work (at the mall) I decided to wear my favourite top with some jeans and I decided to take courage and not wear a cardigan with the hope that no one is going to harass me and that i’m just paranoid. Eventually, I heard 2 dusty black men pass behind me and comment on how big my derrière is and that killed my mood for like 2h. I’m in my early 20s and being sexualized like this my men makes me feel unsafe and uncomfortable 😭🤧.
I feel this in my soul. I don’t wear shorts for this very reason. I don’t even wear mini skirts because people always had something to say about my butt from the time I was in kindergarten until today. It’s sad.
Yesss....men act so weird around me and break their necks to check me out. I'm always on the lookout to make sure my butt is protected lol. It makes me so uncomfortable because ive had comments made similarly.
Men feel entitled to your attention, too. I remember a random dude trying to holla at me on the subway. I couldn't escape him because we were in the train car. He wouldn't leave me alone, and he finally resorted to dropping his phone in my lap to try to force me to give him my number. Or have an excuse to touch me when retrieving his phone 🤢
anytime i put effort into my appearance other girls(who i never spoke to) would go out of their way to put me down. your not allowed to be confident or feel pretty around other woman its soo weird and bizarre.
Ppl have definitely made me scared to show my beauty. Ppl act so crazy over beauty. It's so weird. I've been harassed out of a job by 3 higher-ups, assaulted unprovoked by my own sister & am harassed by men just because of the way I look. It's traumatizing.
I’m beautiful when I dress up and lose weight…it’s terrifying how mean people are to me when I look my best. I rarely dress up now because I’m scared to be seen as a target, but I also miss enjoying feeling good about my look.
HOLY SHIT ! 9:00 hit me hard bc YALL… 😂 tell me why I was at a job orientation (classroom setting) & when the HR lady walked out of the room, a guy yelled from across the room that my teeth are bad (I have a gap). The guy next to him says “but she’s cute tho” …. Mind you this was UNPROVOKED and my heart literally sank into my asshole bc it was so humiliating and unexpected. The most insidious thing about this whole topic is that ppl wait until you’re minding your own business and then try to shatter your sense of peace and comfort. Alsoooo that guy literally tried to compliment my body a few days later…weird as fuck. I know I’m fine but my teeth are an insecurity so it got to me. 😩😩 Girl you ate this video uppp! *side note * I remember one of my childhood friends randomly asking “do your like your gap” in front of some guys that were complimenting me… super embarrassing 😳 I have stories for days y’all 😂
"A lot of women associate their beauty with chaos" Feels incredibly true. We assume far too much about each other as human beings from a place insecurity. It can be a lonely experience sometimes, though others would like to project that I sleep around cause I can "have my pick". Or that I would be incredibly popular and have a busy social life. I notice that I make men and women naturally sheepish, unless they're older.
Being a late bloomer has been very disorienting (ugly duckling to pretty). It caught me off guard when someone patronized me by saying“don’t worry your pretty little head about it” or “you only got this job because you’re young/pretty.” As a kid I grew up very homely looking lol…i knew my looks were lacking so I developed a personality, a great sense of humor etc (I never dealt with jealousy, patronizing behavior, etc until my 20s when I grew into my looks…it’s been a very weird journey). I stopped posting pics to social media because I prefer the privacy…otherwise people think I’m full of myself…
@@ExoticalsUnitedABSOLUTELY I realized this recently 🥰🤗🩷 thanks for your channel, I didn’t have the words to describe these topics that you discuss with such grace. ❤
I also went thru the “ugly duckling to pretty” and noticed people I knew for years start treating me different. I went from barely any attention to getting compliments and attention and praise. It felt weird because I was used to being called ugly 💀
I lost so many friends after I blossomed. It took me years to realize those people were always jealous and only hung out with me to get the crumbs from my privilege.
@@Jettabbg yea the really sad thing is when people who you’ve known all your life start looking at you sideways and can’t accept you the way you have changed 😬…sometimes you lose friends along the way
I did for years due to bullying and seggsual assault by both UADSW and UADSM. I stopped hiding and stopped GAF. Lost the weight, and live my life by my rules, now.
Wow it’s like you just spilled my whole situation in this video. I feel like that with most your videos. I will tell you, I’m just stepping out of not being afraid of my beautiful anymore. I’m out of that community now and I have daughters looking up to me now, I’m making myself beautiful again and enjoying the process.
I have definitely experienced this a few times. Especially from other women. And don’t be single and attractive around people’s man! That’s when the jealousy and insecurity really come out. Talk about being threatened lol I love secure people who are secure in themselves and in their relationship.
I really appreciate this video! It's really sad that so many people are so insecure they can't just appreciate beauty. For years I couldn't even be my full self because I disliked the attention. When I got to a certain age I started dressing down and I even went out less because of this.I hope I can become a woman not ashamed to reach my maximum femininity.❤
I feel like I do fit into this category. Unfortunately I let all my trauma get to me and I let myself go. It's okay though. I'm finding myself again. ❤
I’ve learned to love my natural beauty over the years, I may not wear lashes or makeup, and I have locs, but when I see other women with it, it’s beautiful on them, Im glad I can just shea butter and lip gloss and still compliment other women that does wear makeup and the other things. I get dressed for me not the world. I’m weird and I mind my own business, I don’t go messing up someone’s else day. Tabitha Brown voice
I started neglecting myself ever since two men (of course pretty boys tried to humble me. One is my ex friend and the other I dated for almost two years. I really needed this video. Got embarrassed to get my hair done and do my makeup. Dressing nice. Basically embarrassed to be a baddie lol. I needed this video.
I think the solution is to be friends with other pretty girls. I didn’t have problems with the pretty girls that I know.. People call girls shallow for having « pretty friend groups » but I get it now
@@barbaramay9288same! I had an ex friend who always tried to humble me because she was jealous unfortunately I just cut her off in December and told her about herself sure did! And told her I hope you start working on the inside. And I just said I want friends who are confident in themselves so I never have to dim my light in a friendship because IM NOT DOING IT ANYMORE.
@@gayanngodfrey2824 that’s exactly what happened. Also I live alone now and I get scared when maintenance ppl come in. So I made myself ugly.. that’s not the answer.
I was talking to a girlfriend about how ironic it was that I chose a career (nursing) where I can wear a uniform that doesn’t show my body, I don’t have to wear makeup, I can blend in and also do something of value (which I love) all because I didn’t want to stand out, from past experiences which were also mentioned in this video. I constantly dull myself down. Not anymore! Even now when people compliment me I feel the need to match it with something negative about myself.
Omggg. Yessss. I had to dumb down my INTELLIGENCE as a defense mechanism...and to ultimately diminish the threat others felt....justtttt to keep some peace in my life. I learned this at the age of 11. I'm 33 and it has been my way of life. It's honestly been the best thing I've done. Haha
I notice it’s the fear of being seen and being beautiful comes with being seen and being seen comes with being exposed so for me how I deal with the overexposure is by hiding my physical self from my family it’s the only way I feel stillness and peace I do it because of the jealousy mainly
This explains so much of the bullying I’m experiencing at my my new job and I do nothing but silently work and deal with so many rude comments etc given piles upon piles of work snide comments from leadership. So much that you’ve said I’ve experienced. I literally want to cry. I know it’s because of my appearance deep down but just can’t fathom it because I don’t have a jealous bone in my body😢
The insult that was hurdled to me in primary school was i thought i was better then everyone else and had an inflated ego, i was just being me, this was from a dark skinned girl that i thought was extremely beautiful but yea she made my life a living hell, turned to people pleasing that i am unlearing. Im not afraid of my beauty anymore!❤
I want to embrace my beauty.....I want to walk how I naturally walk, I want to dress up even if I'm just going to the grocery store, I want to talk the way I naturally talk and have natural mannerisms....but I would get sooooooooo MUCH unwanted attention and as an introvert who is trying to overcome social anxiety due to severe bullying and trauma....it's horribly overwhelming. Plus, I am a straight girl who operates in my full feminine and it draws women and men. And they get the wrong message from me. So I have to unfortunately downplay myself when I'm around people I don't want getting attatched/attracted to me. And I have to downplay myself because the evil glares I get when I operate in my full beauty takes an emotional toll on me. Jealous/envious people give you just the right look or treat you in such a way to completely shut all your confidence down. Sigh.
My ex best friend never included me on vacations or nights out because she feared I would outshine her. She would hang out with less attractive friends instead of me and I would be so hurt because I love my best friend but she was very jealous of my looks and my style. I remember she went to another country with other females and never told me and I found out because she posted endless pictures and videos on her instagram and I was like wow. She didn’t even invite be to her baby shower and I bought her daughter so much stuff but had to give it to her days later because she didn’t want her baby father to be looking at me but I introduced her to my child’s father when he was alive and she was very flirtatious with him. Long story short I don’t talk to her anymore.
I just want to celebrate you Exotical United!!!! I’ve just recently started using my voice, specifically as it relates to being beautiful. Although everyone assumes I’m either Cuban or Dominican (that has always shocked me because I don’t see it lol) I’m half Naija…and the pretty girl trauma (that’s the name I’ve given it) has been harsh since childhood. This video right here nails it! Thanks for always pouring into us, I appreciate you and your channel. And I’ll continue doing my part! I’m actually building my private practice surrounding pretty girl trauma. That way, this demographic can have their own therapist, especially a therapist who has actually experienced it and healed/healing from it 🥰
Wow this relates a lot especially as WOC I used to get the ‘what are you mixed with’ or the ‘your pretty for a black girl’ I never saw being lighter as one step closer to the beauty standards cause to me I’m just black and the compliments made me feel not authentically black…and actually it made me pull away from being myself…as I’ve grown I’m trying to rewrite these traits put on me by others and just embrace myself for me.
Yes. This video is a blessing to me as I’ve tried to explain it to people, and they don’t usually get it. Someone told me, “You’re so pretty. I would hate you, but I bet you’re nice.” People will direct hate towards you because of your beauty. This happened all my life, especially growing up as a WOC in a white school. Friends have been envious of me, and I didn’t understand. Men have behaved the way you explained, too. Now, in my job, I should be posting on social media more, but somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting to be perceived. There are 100% disadvantages to being pretty.
Wow…this whole video is 100% me. That’s for making me feel seen, I’m about to change my life now & be the baddest chick I can be. Screw everyone who has a problem with it.
This could not have popped up on my feed at a better time. Everything you touched on is literally my life in a nutshell. I'm in the process of taking back my power in my life, and I just want to say thank you for speaking on this. 🙏 I will no longer dim my light, people please, or hide myself away.
Last year everyone was complimenting my skin and how I looked like a doll🥺 but i I could tell how some of my family members were uncomfortable but this time I’m going all out I’m not gonna dim my light
I swear i have never heard anyone articulate this out loud. I'm usually ALWAYS internalizing these thoughts. I get afraid to really show my true self because i have been jumped, assaulted, abused by men and women in my past, and constantly bullied at work and school and in my family for being attractive. By ALL races. I appreciate this and you for having the emotional intelligence to show ALL types of beautiful women. Beauty isn't one size, shape, or color. It's eclectic ❤🙏🏾💯👊🏽
When you are considered a beautiful woman some men will literally go out of their to humble you just for your looks alone. Some men will be more envious than the women
Sad but definitely true😮.
This was happening to me and I didn’t even realize it, never thought somebody would think to do something that 🤔🤯
This is a fact! I had a man while I was in a cruise ship come up to me just to say “because you think you’re pretty and….” He proceeded to describe how I must be arrogant because of how I carry myself 😭mind you guys I am the most calm spirited quiet girl
Agreed I can't stress how much I see men state pretty women are a dime a dozen and replaceable when they can't get a pretty girl themselves or if they do they drive her away
I hate this soooo bad. Men literally go out their way to humble me, even the ones I’m dating sometimes and it does make me feel insecure sometimes
This is good. I’m learning to embrace my beauty. No matter how many men harass me or how many women hate me.. I embrace it everyday! I set boundaries against every man or woman that tries me. It’s tiring but I will NOT hide my beauty. I know I’m beautiful because I hear how beautiful, pretty or gorgeous I am everyday.
I never learned this
Same
I love this! You go girl ❤
This comment inspires me 😢too
❤❤❤❤this right here, 100% correct
I was literally talking to a guy friend about this. I’ve always feel like I’m always dressing down/ downplaying myself around people to make THEM feel comfortable. Especially other women. Even family.
I’ve done that! Especially around others’ husbands! It all started when I lost 50pds then my cousin made a sly comment while I was visiting her and her family! She was someone who has always supported me and I was surprised by her behavior after I lost weight! Since, I’ve dimmed my beauty around women’s husbands in an attempt to make them feel comfortable!
We gotta stop doing this sis but i do the same. We’re getting better
Same here!!!!! I realised that being around people who are confident is so important. We may not always be confident but confidence is silent while jealousy and envy is loud
This!!! I had a roommate for 5 months and I didn’t feel comfortable letting her see me all dolled up. I started keeping my hair wrapped up all of the time or either in plats, or throwing a hat on and I have waist length hair that I love wearing because it’s mine, and it’s my crown and glory. My ex roomie was cute, but she relied on makeup, colored contacts, and tail bone length wigs and I noticed whenever she did catch me heading out on a date, or either hanging out with friends she would go into a frenzy about her appearance. Ish was wild. I don’t want to live like that anymore
@@Free2Be7 Exactly! WE SHINE PERIOD!!!💖💖💖
Omg I relate to this so much. People always talk about pretty privilege but no one talks about the trauma that comes from being pretty. The family hating on you, feeling the need to shrink yourself around friends/other women, men trying to humble you for no reason at all smh. I thought I was just being sensitive lol
You mentioned the fear of being seen and I realize that’s a real problem for me. I am LS and always been on the heavy side. When I lose weight, I get a lot more attention and it makes me really uncomfortable. The attention from men makes me anxious from past trauma. I realized that I self sabotage to stay “invisible” to men and “safe” for women.
Yes Ive noticed that this is a very common phenomenon for pretty women
@@ExoticalsUnited it’s crazy how many overweight and obese women have been SA’d at some point and wear the weight for protection and buffer.
I can relate, you are definitely not alone. Working on my weight now. I'm at that age where I can't afford to "hide" behind the weight anymore for health reasons but I definitely relate to wanting to
What is "LS"?
Relatable, you’re not alone.
Its taken me 28yrs to appreciate my beauty and be proud of it.. i no longer feel embarrassed or tone down my looks.. i will not let anyone's opinion dictate how i see myself.. period!
go girl!!!💖
Yassss❤🎉
FINALLY. Sigh of RELIEF. I watch evreybody be nice to the mediocre girls and MEAN and judgemental to me just because I exist.
Right! Little do they know the mediocre praise is just as damaging
It’s really weird how everyone comes together and does this to the beautiful woman. Just goes to show there’s not many “beautiful” women in the world
Especially men
Agreed 💯
That’s mean. Be beautiful on the inside
“You tie your self-esteem to how pretty women react to you” omgggg this is so good and true! Being pretty in the 9-5 workplace is so detrimental to pretty women because you constantly have this weird unwanted obligation to validate people who put you on this unasked for pedestal and if you don’t then all the bashing, bullying, excluding, abandonment, etc happens. I’ve even had coworkers give me the silent treatment and not want to help me with work if I didn’t validate them enough! It’s sickening and draining!!!
Girl yes! I used to work a 9-5 at Walgreens and dealt with that shii a lot from coworkers and customers. There was a time this old lady called me out my name for no damn reason while I was ringing her up. Miserable mfs will really go out they way to make you feel bad.
Girl, I was fired over some petty stuff like that multiple times. It’s crazy
Being an introvert and pretty and having a hard time faking nice and happy 24/7 can be painful to be around others when you just want to live life quiet.
I STG its exhausting. All while you dealing wit your own mess at home. Sometimes I didn't know who was insecure and needed validating. But lawd it wasn't even included in my freaking pay. Well they finally ordered me severance. N I took that shit. Too many times I've left out of frustrating circumstances. I've suffered from being constantly accused of false shit just to get the clique against me. 😢
@lainfoz9310 girl. N don't be too quiet to keep your mental peace cuz now you looking sneaky and they watching everything move u make. They already plotting cuz u getting quiet means they can't trigger you n get you on something else. Let me tell you, this HR thing.... I can't wait till AI takes all their positions. Evil ppl
I thought I was being arrogant for relating to this channel and I’m so glad you addressed this! People have such a problem with confident beautiful women .
Yes! Any time you admit any positive qualities about yourself people call it arrogant. I’m tired of being pressured into having low no self esteem. I’m taking my confidence back!
This!!!
@@ExoticalsUnited 💖💖💖
@ExoticalsUnited ME too, you just motivated me to say a prayer asking God to give me the strength & protection for my beauty resurgence.
I'm done diminishing my beauty. My mother always flexed hers and I thought it was too much (it really was though 😂), but I never had to flaunt mine at all and got flack for it. NOW, IDGAF anymore!
Its really, really disturbing....ughhh
I ask God for strength to handle it. In the meantime I drink lots of water, remain humble, stay in shape and keep the flyest hair styles lol
This is a healing experience.. I’ve been afraid of my beauty most of my life… last 5 years it got worse… religious abuse and constant jealously of other women as well as creepy stairs of older men…Envy of friends and possessive comments of guys…
YES.
Hold on and hold strong.. we will always have many hating us. Embrace your beauty anyways. ❤
@@dearbrave4183omg I noticed these murder cases of friends have one thing in common. The victim is always pretty!!! And her “friends” always look rough and muffled like predators.
I feel you Sis. I even stopped doing my hair, and taking care of myself. I stopped caring about what clothes I wear 🥺 this world has torn me down, and I let it 😭 but God will make me stand up again 🙏🏾💗
Love yourself 🥰🎀
I have women sneak and touch my butt at church like a man. Then talk about me behind my back about the clothes I wear.
This is so so real!
“Nobody notices when the ugly girl has acne….” Omg yes the many times I was nitpicked over the smallest things in Highschool , I was 100% convinced I was ugly because people TREATED ME like i was ugly! “You think you’re all that but you’re not!”
Omg the many times coworkers were angry because I said goodmorning one day and didn’t say it the next or why I’m minding my business in the break room….
Social anxiety and fear held me back for sure. I wanted to be invisible and attract as little attention as possible. I felt confused about my appearance my whole entire life. Compliments from strangers and then treated like shit by friends/family. I have so much body dysmorphia. Low self esteem BAD.
You’ve encouraged me to take my confidence back. I don’t want to be afraid of my beauty anymore! Thank you I love your channel 🫶🏼❤
Yes! Take your confidence back!!! Its like everyone talks of 'pretty privilege' but not of the judgement we face from people...
@@Las645 Dear,its a lie because you see yourself as UGLY...
I didn't know I was pretty until I went to a psychic and she told me every woman in my family was jealous of me. Then I realized they never supported me, talked down to me, tried to kill my self esteem since I was a child. And I have been abandoned. I was being told I was too skinny, too tall and weird looking. Also men has been very abusive and controlling to me all my life, people have tried to destroy me over some damn beauty. It's sick.
@@TheFemaleT.D.Jakes1
same and it's *_every_* one
This is true. My female relatives on my mother's side were very hateful towards me because I am better looking than them with the hair type they're envious of.
@@TheFemaleT.D.Jakes1 same
I got things they all should be
EMPATHIC of. yet, instead of
that they jealous. they *_suck_*
I have experienced this so many times in my life. I was constantly afraid to stand out for the reasons you mentioned. I wish that I would have had the confidence to enjoy the way I was created. Thank you for discussing this topic. I have never had a safe place or a community where I felt it was ok to discuss the topics that you feature here. Thank you❤
I never felt the need to dumb down my looks or intelligence. I was raised by wolves and ended up in foster care. I think a lot of people self esteem is low because, of the people that raised them and the environment they grew up in. I was constantly moving around and went to different schools. I was always the new girl. People initially tried to bully me and I made an example out of one person then, they knew not to try me. Never dim your light for those in the darkness.
Exactly!!💖💖💖
Even my aunties and some of my cousins accused me of thinking I'm all that. I have had a lot of trauma and Noone has ever showed compassion on me. I had to seek therapy and a relationship with God to get heal. Even my step dad accused me of wanting boys to look at me because I'm a hooper. I literally have Naturally big boobs so I spent my whole 20's hiding my beauty. I didn't want to be associated with being a whore and stupid. Plenty of gurls accused me of wanting their man and I was a whole child. I dressed like a Tom boy to protect myself from rejection and abuse. Now at 38 I'm not hiding anymore. I fixed my teeth and got accused of just getting braces for nothing. I fixed my teeth and my self esteem grew!! Love yourself first that's real power!!❤❤❤
Yes there’s alot of hurt and trauma & pain, associated with being pretty 🙁 & I wish you love & healing on your new journey of self love ❤
Yes hon! Take back your power! You got this...💖
Girls have never liked me. From k5 until now. "Friends" have always wanted to compete, and it was weird. I don't have friends because of this. Not to mention the shade in joking form.
That shade in joking form,I don't take that anymore...💖
@arabiamcmahan5778 I feel that so much. Sending you a hug!
Even my white, fair, blonde haired/blue eyed acquaintances act really weird around me to the point I had to distance myself from them - I don’t get it because they literally are the “societal beauty standard.” 🤭 And I’ve become so suspicious of uabw - I feel bad about it but I’ve gotten burned a lot …
Exactly
Same. I have girls I’m cool with but I don’t let them get too close.
I’m white/Hispanic, so while I’m not the target audience, I relate to a lot of what you’re saying. Trigger warning: I lost my v-- through SA, after that I just didn’t want to be seen by anyone. I chopped all my hair off, wore baggy clothes, let myself go and gained some weight. I don’t think I was raised in a way that prepared me for dealing with men and being safe: I was homeschooled and my mom was not a pretty girl. “You think you’re all that, you’re conceited” are things I still hear from my parents. Men think I’m promiscuous. A female “friend” would point out all the little imperfections I had, make me look stupid in front of others. I’m really isolated right now, just trying to get through college. But I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m slowly trying to tap into my femininity by taking a dance class, wearing makeup regularly and putting more effort into my appearance. Again, I know your target audience was black women but this still validated a lot of my experiences. Because I’ve had people shut me down for saying exactly what you’re saying.
Yup. I feel like a lot of women will do things like that as a cope. You’re not alone !
Hugs. People don’t ever want to acknowledge the violent atrocities that attractive women can face, and that’s a problem.
Chopped my hair short to try and minimize the attention...didn't work 🥲
Or they will say “you’re stuck up”
I have been told that I am 'stuckup' 'feeling like a celebrity' and a 'snob' by people who have just met me and don't know me at all... They need to neg you and judge you pretty quick in order for them to be fine... Men are Jealous of your beauty too...
This!!! I never saw my beauty until this one woman disliked me and started at me daily with hate in her eyes. I alchemized that to glow up even more :)
I learned 2 years ago that people were going to hate no matter what. I certainly attempted to dull my shine and everyone else as still jealous. Seriously, it seems like society has lost all efforts to look slightly decent so I was going to have to pretty much just pretend to be homeless to have friends. I decided I was sick of that and leveled back up.
Exactly !
You are so right about sometimes people h8te you just for existing, I’ve been out and women have just gone out of their way to try to insult me 🤦🏽♀️ in 2020 I went to deposit a check at a credit union and I noticed that the women that worked there never spoke to me. So this day in particular the woman that waited on me asked to see my I.d and she said hmmm, we’re the same age but you look older than me 🙄 I responded “ you’re the first person to ever say that I looked old for my age” I could have snapped on her but I knew that was what she wanted. She couldn’t even hold the hate in long enough for her to do her job 🤦🏽♀️
The fear of abandonment for being considered pretty, thank you for breaking it down for me! I was conflicted! This channel has been very informative! Thank you! 👑
Yes! She’s giving us the language to express these emotions so clearly!
@@niratomas579 Yes she is!
Thank you sooo much for this video. This has been my whole life story since I was 17 and got out of my teenaged tomboy phase and started to dress girly and do my makeup. I’m 34 now and it’s just gotten WORSE. I live in a mostly white neighborhood and have a white husband. I’ve lost jobs because I’m a pretty black girl (mixed) having my white coworkers gang up to bully me to the point I quit. Not only do I come in as a black woman with pretty privilege but I come from a family with money and I have a very high IQ due to my Asperger’s even writing these things makes me tremble because I’m scared to say these things. People just use my intellect as an insult to call me weird or think I’m a know it all. I have the hide myself when I go out in public but I notice older white women stare me down and younger white woman give me the ‘she thinks she’s all that’ backhanded attention and compliments. Perhaps the worse is my mother in law and her mom HATE ME, they’re lower income white people and they despised me from day one. So much so a person observing how they talk to me said ‘those people literally hate you so much I can see it in their eyes’. I just can’t escape, it’s like they want me to dull my shine. But I like dressing girly, I love doing my makeup and hair. To lose these things is to lose myself. 😢
One thing I’ve noticed is- I find myself like… wearing things that will not make me stand out as much sometimes, to make OTHER people feel better. It’s a weird, subconscious thing. But at my jobs, the women are usually super jealous because I’m beautiful and dress fly. Plus I look 8 years younger than my age. M
I refuse to dim. Nope- never ever again. It feels horrible later on.
Exactly
I also see really unattractive men tell beautiful women they are ugly. They try to bring them down. Ive had this happen to me a couple of times. Ive also been told im not as beautiful as girls in their 20s because im 39. But i still look young.
My own mother was such a toxic narcissistic jealous person against my beauty and helped my sister ruin parts of my life as she was feeling the same. The jealously from women had me very confused at first then I grew tired.
Confession: Sometimes, depending on the situation, I have to downplay my looks or intentionally look odd for me to be taken seriously. When I look good I’ve noticed people talking down to me. I’m not saying pretty p. is all misery, but in the workplace it really is. Also finding genuine friends is hard.
Yup! That’s why we have to be strategic with how and WHERE we use our beauty
I’m 41 and can still relate to this. You described what I’ve dealt with most of my life and still do. I’m glad that I discovered your channel because not a lot of women understand what attractive women really go through…they only see the pretty privilege
Wow. I can relate. I'm almost 50 I still have jealousy aimed at me because I'm still called beautiful and pretty and I'm almost 50. I am constantly told that I look like I'm in my 30s. I'm so glad I came across this video and channel.
@@ebonyg9632 the jealousy and hatred when you know you haven’t done anything wrong can be hurtful but at the end of the day beauty is a gift from God and they’re jealous of your gift. I’ve seen older women than me being picked on at the workplace for simply being beautiful gracious and well put together. I’m glad that I no longer care about how uncomfortable my beauty makes insecure women feel I wish I learned this at a younger age…not everyone is going to like me but I will never downplay myself again to make others feel comfortable
38 and I relate to this so much
You're right
Dear,I have been saying this for a while now,everyone just talks about the 'pretty privilege' while it goes beyond all that...💖
So much of this is true, you articulated it all really well. At 26 I am still trying to unpack it all and embrace my beauty. My mom would always dress in sweats, do the bare minimum appearance wise, remained overweight throughout my life and paid little attention to hygiene. As a child I always got so many compliments on my features and looks. My mom would demonize me for trying to enhance these things. She would keep me in sweats, activewear and unkempt hair - habits that I’m trying to undo today. On the rare occasions that I do put myself together I get called out by strangers for my beauty and I feel overwhelmed, watched and uncomfortable. I was never taught how to manage this and so I hide behind oversized clothes and minimalist makeup. You really unpacked a lot here.
Almost my whole family told me growing up that I thought I was better than them, and I’m stuck up, etc. Even dating I heard all those things. Pointing out flaws too. I have had women who were very insecure point out my flaws in a very public and ridiculing way. Where if I did the same to them, they would be ready to fight.
I remember this man in my neighborhood who always told me that I think I’m all that when I passed by. I was only 14 years old and did nothing special to my looks. He was older too like in his 30s or 40s. He was definitely a jealous man! Jealous of a child! I felt so intimidated that I started walking to school a different way.
He was not only jealous but probably also attracted to you and he knew it was wrong. Normally men who know they’ll never have you and men you ignore will try to humble you
Eeew so sorry that happened. 😢
i'm so sorry that happened to you babe. i can def relate and it sucks :/ keep being beautiful, u dont need to make those sick f0cks comfortable.
The algorithm knew I needed this.
Yay! 😀
I’m 22 and I’m glad I realised these things sooner.
I’m in 40s and never learned any of this sadly
Same
Same
Same
❤❤❤❤
I am a dark skin women and I still love your Channel I have always be played down on my beauty or I think im all that and got put down never praised on my beauty until my late 20s now 31 and really appreciating my beauty and becoming the women of my desires !
Yay! Thanks for watching !
I think the reason why sometimes we get scared is because beauty is a form of social power/dominance and it naturally puts you out of the "underdog" category in terms of appearance. Everybody roots for the underdog and this is a form of psychological blanket where you feel protected by those who root for you. But when you look beautiful, no matter how many traumas you've endured, or if you grew up poor, or whatever other "underdog" categories might apply to you, you will still be seen as NOT the underdog, therefore NOT "deserving" of the cheerleaders and anyone expressing their support towards you on the basis of a "relatable" misfortune.
You have given us the language needed to express these experiences! What you said about the nitpicking is SO true!!!! Thank you for validating these feelings!
You are so welcome!
This 100% is a thing. I never understood it until recently. It's a social hierarchy thing like you mentioned. You automatically get raised to the top because of your features, which you do not or cannot control. That makes others envious. Every thing you said is so spot on! I know it too well.
right, its not like were just walking around "thinking were better"- OTHERS are constantly pointing out our differences or going out of their way to beef with us for no reason, making us feel othered.
This is all facts and so unfortunate. We're human, so yes we naturally compare ourselves but you must check your insecurities! There will always be someone that has something we don't. Thank God for your blessings and don't hate on others!!
@@ExoticalsUnited
I’ve definitely been self sabotaging for the past year. 😢 over eating and gaining weight) because after i went through my first weightloss journey , i was very overwhelmed with the attention i was getting. I had just got out of a TWO LONG long , toxic, isolating relationshipS. I was starting to actually go out, I’ve always been the stay in the house type because of my relationships. so once i lost all my baby weight and depression weight and started going out into the world after 10 years of doing nothing! The attention i got because of my beauty overwhelmed me! Neither of the men i was with ever complimented me, my family didn’t really. So i never grew up thinking i was beautiful! I don’t know how to take compliments!It makes me feel awkward!
and then i started noticing how terrible some women can be! The last two years have been rough…. I’ve gained 50 pounds and I don’t even feel like myself anymore…. I’m actively back in the gym, I’m done hiding from the world and I’m tired of trying to downplay my talents and beauty for the people around me. I’m going let my beautiful light shine brightly ! Fck whoever gets blinded by it.
This hits home!!🔥🔥🔥
I always did things to dull my shine because i got so tired of the smoke from other women and being fetishized by guys... Like girls literally wanted to fight me!
Even as an older woman.. It doesn't change... Now because of this channel im embracing it❤
I wish I had this channel in my youth
I needed this. This validated why my family would always instill fear in me about men, makeup and clothing. Women have admitted their jealousy towards me and men do crush on me a lot. I realize how I try to tone myself down a lot. I hate being in the spotlight sometimes. Lots of women compare themselves to me and downplay my talent. This video is healing. ❤
I’m not mixed but I definitely relate to this video. Being dark skin and beautiful not for the weak. My supervisor at work is so jealous of me she gone say, “why you always in them old men face” when she know them men be in my face and the electrician at my job who likes me told me she don’t like me and I didn’t believe him he said it’s because you look good and they don’t want nobody talking to you. And I’m the nice type speak to everybody and everything but now I’m realizing everything he ever said was true! My last day on the job is next week and I’m gone make my exit in silence 🥰
Wow! People are such haters. I’m glad you’re getting out of there !
Damn. This hit home... HARD.😌 The fear of abandonment (by friends, a romantic partner, or the community I come from) for being "too pretty" is a very real thing. The constant little digs about me being "too much" come across as a threat that I'm on the verge of not being accepted anymore. So, I'd try to dim my own light to "allow" others to shine, except it NEVER works. The jealous ones are still angry and I can feel their negative energy coming off of them in waves.😟 I usually just ignore it but its palpable. I've always kept this fear of abandonment for being pretty a secret locked away in my own heart.😢 I never imagined that anyone else would ever understand this.🥹 Its not something that I felt was appropriate to share.
Omg! Thanks for talking about this! This video is extremely validating for me! Although I am an unambiguous black woman I have been attacked for my appearance for as long as I can remember. I’ve been given the silent treatment, stared at, criticized for wearing makeup (like it’s a crime), the list goes on. I used to catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and be in tears and no one understood what I was going through.
Thank you soooo much! ❤❤❤❤
Omg that used to remind me of me ! whenever I was about to cry, looking in the mirror would strengthen me, it was as if looking at myself helped me remember who I am.
@@ExoticalsUnited Thank you! 🙏❤️🦋
I’m not a mixed woman, I’m a brown skinned beauty, but sis I can relate to this! Growing up I had a really nice shape and developed really fast, (a solid curvy 160 at 15) and was always getting attention from grown and young men. Over the years I have dumbed down my beauty because my mom used to demonize me every time I put on an outfit that complimented my shape. She’d wait for me to get dress just so she could scope me out before we went anywhere. My family used to rush me out of the bathroom if they knew that I was doing my makeup and would tell me I didn’t need that, it’s wasting everyone’s time so I stopped doing my hair and makeup. I always wondered why I never fit in at school or in the community I lived in ( black neighborhoods) Now at 30 I realize that my beauty and aura always negatively affected others around me. These days the older women try to “little girl” me, younger women try to compete with me and the men try “humble me” when I stand on my standards. That early on trauma has set in. I’m trying to get back to that confidence because I do feel like it has diminished over the years due to the way that I was treated by the people around me.
Omg yea that’s so annoying when people are like “this isn’t a fashion show”, “you’re taking too long” , etc. it’s like they don’t want you to spend time pampering yourself
This is similar to what I’m going through now 💔
I’m not mixed but I can relate 💅🏾 Thanks, going to try to embrace myself more.
You got this!
Beauty shaming is a real thing! I know I wasted my beauty trying to not offend my friends and lovers in my youth. I’m 44 now and it is what it is but people were kinda cruel to me after while despite me trying to please and accommodate them, not me. I don’t care anymore.. I’m standing confident in myself
Omg, the sabotage. The females at work constantly trying to micromanage me or have me written up. I had one girl who would literally make it a point to roll her eyes at me every time she saw me. I never spoke two words to her. I caught some other girl peeking over the cubicles to stare at me. One of my so-called best friends jumped at an opportunity to slander me online. She can’t say I ever did anything to her. I personally never thought that I was better than anybody else, but society definitely separated me into some category I never asked to be in. I watch how insecure women act when they have their man around you versus them alone. I walked into a Cuban bakery with two Spanish women talking, and I saw them exchange glances and go very quiet. And that goes for family, friends, and associates the same. Now that I’m older, I’m wise to it.
now WAIT A MINUTE this video just made me understand my entire life
Yes! I feel like a lot of women are afraid of being “too pretty” because of the risk of being assaulted, more people being jealous, unwanted attention etc
Yes even when you choose to enhance yourself or doll yourself it has become a problem too because when you get glamed up from your natural beauty, it becomes a threat. It could be your birthday and you have a whole makeover and it's a problem lol
Exactly
Dang. I didn’t even want to comment on this part. A lot of mothers will be the first women to treat their pretty daughters bad.
@@NopeToBroke whew. It even shows from the get go on how mothers is dressed and all vs the daughter, child
@@akxshayes, the hairstyles too😢
@@bibibomba4515 so right on that. there's this polarity on how we should wear our hair, natural or enhanced. whereas it is still made to be into a comparison. we truly can not win on how we come to create and make ourselves without taking our own validation among others because we are all different just similar connections in a way. but we do win living in our authenticity and going with what is good-fully right for us. that's all that matters. our happiness can't fill everyone's satisfactions and their happiness can't make us happy.
You are a gifted healer. You have managed to find the words I've never have seemed to find.❤
Wow, thank you so much!
Girl, it must be painful to be this intelligent and self aware. Thank goodness for your voice and your perspective 💗
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I love you !!! The part where you explain we hide our own beauty because of a trauma response. Smh. When jealousy comes from family, friends, jobs, and strangers. Sometimes you just keep your beauty to yourself or wait for someone to appreciate your beauty and treat it as a privilege to experience and be around.
You touched on sooooooo much omg! Especially things from childhood. At 31 I realized so much bullying and hatred I experienced was only because they were mad at how pretty I was and probably even more mad that I had no Clue lol
I’m considerded an “attractive” black man and Im also bisexual so I get attention from both sexes. I resonate with so much of this. I have learned over the years that whenever I get in the gym and start getting more & more conventionally attractive, the amount of attention I get has been overwhelming, unwanted. I am VERY sensitive to other people’s energies. I have had severe body dysmorphia at a point in my life, binge eating, massive weight loss and weight gain etc. You become a target of a lot of negativity, crabs in a bucket mentality by others, etc. I have had to really come to terms with the fact that the more attractive I become the more I feel unequipped to manage the new kinds of stress. I literally had someone go and take my pictures and create a fake profile of me trying to smear me because I didn’t end up wanting to move forward with them. It’s crazy the lengths people will go to try to tear you down when they perceive you as being “above” them. And then when you have more to lose than them, you can’t retaliate bc it won’t impact them like it will you.
I wish you all the best, body dysmorphia is so awful
Are you a Pisces?
Yesss I don’t even like going out because of the stares 😩😩😩😩I would always think wtf are they looking at. Can’t even work in peace
Same 🥲
My 9 year old niece was well aware that girls wanted to fight her because of her long hair. It brought tears to her eyes. I felt so bad for her.
I’ve been hiding A LOT. It makes me uncomfortable when people, especially young girls who don’t look like me call me beautiful/pretty. Not too long ago I decided to wear one of my pretty dresses to work. I got so much attention that I rushed home to change before running my necessary errands. It definitely scared me, but this has convinced me to be brave and stop hiding. The same way I want those young women to embrace their beauty, I must learn to embrace mine.
I can definitely relate to dimming myself and my beauty down as a trauma response. Even actively destroying yourself and your beauty because of trauma. Did it for years. To avoid being harrassed, SA’ed, stalked and being hypervisible. Subconsiously blamed myself all that time. After getting help for mental health. Now I know better and do better. Will not dim down myself for anybody.
All of this hits home! I’m glad we can have these conversations without getting accused of boasting.
One thing that was really heartbreaking when I was dating was the amount of men that could not see past their lust.
It was a breath of fresh air when I found my man who spent time to actually get to know me. Not once did I ever feel pressured or objectified. It’s really sad how rare that is.
The ones that were jealous were entertaining 😅 on top of being beautiful… I’m also talented, articulate, and had a lot of other things going on. A lot of men admitted to feeling intimidated by that.
Can I tell y’all something? I always wear long cardigans or vest that covers my butt, because when I was younger I would hear inappropriate comments on how big my butt is from men and women. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. One day at work (at the mall) I decided to wear my favourite top with some jeans and I decided to take courage and not wear a cardigan with the hope that no one is going to harass me and that i’m just paranoid. Eventually, I heard 2 dusty black men pass behind me and comment on how big my derrière is and that killed my mood for like 2h. I’m in my early 20s and being sexualized like this my men makes me feel unsafe and uncomfortable 😭🤧.
Yes ! It sucks to feel embarrassed of your own body!
I feel this in my soul. I don’t wear shorts for this very reason. I don’t even wear mini skirts because people always had something to say about my butt from the time I was in kindergarten until today. It’s sad.
@@theblessedalcove9777 I feel youu
Yesss....men act so weird around me and break their necks to check me out. I'm always on the lookout to make sure my butt is protected lol. It makes me so uncomfortable because ive had comments made similarly.
This commentary was SO amazing!!!! I sent it to my daughter. I’ve been trying to explain this to her for years. Great great great work!
Men feel entitled to your attention, too. I remember a random dude trying to holla at me on the subway. I couldn't escape him because we were in the train car. He wouldn't leave me alone, and he finally resorted to dropping his phone in my lap to try to force me to give him my number. Or have an excuse to touch me when retrieving his phone 🤢
That is terrifying. Men can be so scary… glad you ended up safe.
I wonder if “I didn’t like you at first because I thought you thought you were all that” is code for “I didn’t like you because you are pretty”?
thats exactly what it is.
anytime i put effort into my appearance other girls(who i never spoke to) would go out of their way to put me down. your not allowed to be confident or feel pretty around other woman its soo weird and bizarre.
Ppl have definitely made me scared to show my beauty. Ppl act so crazy over beauty. It's so weird. I've been harassed out of a job by 3 higher-ups, assaulted unprovoked by my own sister & am harassed by men just because of the way I look. It's traumatizing.
I’m beautiful when I dress up and lose weight…it’s terrifying how mean people are to me when I look my best. I rarely dress up now because I’m scared to be seen as a target, but I also miss enjoying feeling good about my look.
HOLY SHIT ! 9:00 hit me hard bc YALL… 😂 tell me why I was at a job orientation (classroom setting) & when the HR lady walked out of the room, a guy yelled from across the room that my teeth are bad (I have a gap). The guy next to him says “but she’s cute tho” …. Mind you this was UNPROVOKED and my heart literally sank into my asshole bc it was so humiliating and unexpected.
The most insidious thing about this whole topic is that ppl wait until you’re minding your own business and then try to shatter your sense of peace and comfort. Alsoooo that guy literally tried to compliment my body a few days later…weird as fuck. I know I’m fine but my teeth are an insecurity so it got to me. 😩😩 Girl you ate this video uppp!
*side note * I remember one of my childhood friends randomly asking “do your like your gap” in front of some guys that were complimenting me… super embarrassing 😳
I have stories for days y’all 😂
"A lot of women associate their beauty with chaos" Feels incredibly true. We assume far too much about each other as human beings from a place insecurity. It can be a lonely experience sometimes, though others would like to project that I sleep around cause I can "have my pick". Or that I would be incredibly popular and have a busy social life. I notice that I make men and women naturally sheepish, unless they're older.
Being a late bloomer has been very disorienting (ugly duckling to pretty). It caught me off guard when someone patronized me by saying“don’t worry your pretty little head about it” or “you only got this job because you’re young/pretty.”
As a kid I grew up very homely looking lol…i knew my looks were lacking so I developed a personality, a great sense of humor etc (I never dealt with jealousy, patronizing behavior, etc until my 20s when I grew into my looks…it’s been a very weird journey).
I stopped posting pics to social media because I prefer the privacy…otherwise people think I’m full of myself…
Omg yes. Privacy is SUCH a luxury!
@@ExoticalsUnitedABSOLUTELY I realized this recently 🥰🤗🩷 thanks for your channel, I didn’t have the words to describe these topics that you discuss with such grace. ❤
I also went thru the “ugly duckling to pretty” and noticed people I knew for years start treating me different. I went from barely any attention to getting compliments and attention and praise. It felt weird because I was used to being called ugly 💀
I lost so many friends after I blossomed. It took me years to realize those people were always jealous and only hung out with me to get the crumbs from my privilege.
@@Jettabbg yea the really sad thing is when people who you’ve known all your life start looking at you sideways and can’t accept you the way you have changed 😬…sometimes you lose friends along the way
I did for years due to bullying and seggsual assault by both UADSW and UADSM. I stopped hiding and stopped GAF. Lost the weight, and live my life by my rules, now.
your channel is like therapy for me
Glad someone is talking about this. This was the main reason why I dressed like a tomboy in high school.
Its refreshing to finally have this conversation.
Sad but truee…
Wow it’s like you just spilled my whole situation in this video. I feel like that with most your videos. I will tell you, I’m just stepping out of not being afraid of my beautiful anymore. I’m out of that community now and I have daughters looking up to me now, I’m making myself beautiful again and enjoying the process.
I'm so glad!
I have definitely experienced this a few times. Especially from other women. And don’t be single and attractive around people’s man! That’s when the jealousy and insecurity really come out. Talk about being threatened lol I love secure people who are secure in themselves and in their relationship.
We are constantly being humbled- honestly I sometimes feel like being pretty is a curse…
My gorgeous mother that is 68 years old told me that !! 💯
I really appreciate this video! It's really sad that so many people are so insecure they can't just appreciate beauty. For years I couldn't even be my full self because I disliked the attention. When I got to a certain age I started dressing down and I even went out less because of this.I hope I can become a woman not ashamed to reach my maximum femininity.❤
I feel like I do fit into this category. Unfortunately I let all my trauma get to me and I let myself go. It's okay though. I'm finding myself again. ❤
Yup! It happens to the best of us!
@@ExoticalsUnited ❤️
I feel you Sis! Rise Queen 👑
I got beat down, I am looking to God for strength to get up 🙏🏾
❤❤❤
@@BellaVidaMercy Same here! We will most definitely get there sis! ❤️
I’ve learned to love my natural beauty over the years, I may not wear lashes or makeup, and I have locs, but when I see other women with it, it’s beautiful on them, Im glad I can just shea butter and lip gloss and still compliment other women that does wear makeup and the other things. I get dressed for me not the world. I’m weird and I mind my own business, I don’t go messing up someone’s else day. Tabitha Brown voice
I love that for you beautiful
I started neglecting myself ever since two men (of course pretty boys tried to humble me. One is my ex friend and the other I dated for almost two years. I really needed this video.
Got embarrassed to get my hair done and do my makeup. Dressing nice. Basically embarrassed to be a baddie lol. I needed this video.
I think the solution is to be friends with other pretty girls. I didn’t have problems with the pretty girls that I know..
People call girls shallow for having « pretty friend groups » but I get it now
They broke me too, so I stopped taking care of myself 😢
@@barbaramay9288same! I had an ex friend who always tried to humble me because she was jealous unfortunately I just cut her off in December and told her about herself sure did! And told her I hope you start working on the inside. And I just said I want friends who are confident in themselves so I never have to dim my light in a friendship because IM NOT DOING IT ANYMORE.
@@gayanngodfrey2824 that’s exactly what happened. Also I live alone now and I get scared when maintenance ppl come in. So I made myself ugly.. that’s not the answer.
I was talking to a girlfriend about how ironic it was that I chose a career (nursing) where I can wear a uniform that doesn’t show my body, I don’t have to wear makeup, I can blend in and also do something of value (which I love) all because I didn’t want to stand out, from past experiences which were also mentioned in this video. I constantly dull myself down. Not anymore! Even now when people compliment me I feel the need to match it with something negative about myself.
I can only get help at work if I dumb down my beauty. I have to cover my hair and wear less makeup.
Omggg. Yessss. I had to dumb down my INTELLIGENCE as a defense mechanism...and to ultimately diminish the threat others felt....justtttt to keep some peace in my life. I learned this at the age of 11. I'm 33 and it has been my way of life. It's honestly been the best thing I've done. Haha
I notice it’s the fear of being seen and being beautiful comes with being seen and being seen comes with being exposed so for me how I deal with the overexposure is by hiding my physical self from my family it’s the only way I feel stillness and peace I do it because of the jealousy mainly
Can you elaborate more on that, in relation to your family, please?
This explains so much of the bullying I’m experiencing at my my new job and I do nothing but silently work and deal with so many rude comments etc given piles upon piles of work snide comments from leadership. So much that you’ve said I’ve experienced. I literally want to cry. I know it’s because of my appearance deep down but just can’t fathom it because I don’t have a jealous bone in my body😢
Gratitude, for understanding and speaking on this.
The insult that was hurdled to me in primary school was i thought i was better then everyone else and had an inflated ego, i was just being me, this was from a dark skinned girl that i thought was extremely beautiful but yea she made my life a living hell, turned to people pleasing that i am unlearing. Im not afraid of my beauty anymore!❤
Wow. I’m glad you are taking back your confidence now !
I want to embrace my beauty.....I want to walk how I naturally walk, I want to dress up even if I'm just going to the grocery store, I want to talk the way I naturally talk and have natural mannerisms....but I would get sooooooooo MUCH unwanted attention and as an introvert who is trying to overcome social anxiety due to severe bullying and trauma....it's horribly overwhelming.
Plus, I am a straight girl who operates in my full feminine and it draws women and men. And they get the wrong message from me. So I have to unfortunately downplay myself when I'm around people I don't want getting attatched/attracted to me. And I have to downplay myself because the evil glares I get when I operate in my full beauty takes an emotional toll on me. Jealous/envious people give you just the right look or treat you in such a way to completely shut all your confidence down.
Sigh.
My ex best friend never included me on vacations or nights out because she feared I would outshine her. She would hang out with less attractive friends instead of me and I would be so hurt because I love my best friend but she was very jealous of my looks and my style. I remember she went to another country with other females and never told me and I found out because she posted endless pictures and videos on her instagram and I was like wow. She didn’t even invite be to her baby shower and I bought her daughter so much stuff but had to give it to her days later because she didn’t want her baby father to be looking at me but I introduced her to my child’s father when he was alive and she was very flirtatious with him. Long story short I don’t talk to her anymore.
I've never related to a post soo much.
I just want to celebrate you Exotical United!!!! I’ve just recently started using my voice, specifically as it relates to being beautiful. Although everyone assumes I’m either Cuban or Dominican (that has always shocked me because I don’t see it lol) I’m half Naija…and the pretty girl trauma (that’s the name I’ve given it) has been harsh since childhood. This video right here nails it! Thanks for always pouring into us, I appreciate you and your channel. And I’ll continue doing my part! I’m actually building my private practice surrounding pretty girl trauma. That way, this demographic can have their own therapist, especially a therapist who has actually experienced it and healed/healing from it 🥰
Omg that’s amazing ! 😻
@@ExoticalsUnited I was honestly afraid to niche down to this specific demographic…but your channel has truly empowered me, thank you!
Wow this relates a lot especially as WOC I used to get the ‘what are you mixed with’ or the ‘your pretty for a black girl’ I never saw being lighter as one step closer to the beauty standards cause to me I’m just black and the compliments made me feel not authentically black…and actually it made me pull away from being myself…as I’ve grown I’m trying to rewrite these traits put on me by others and just embrace myself for me.
Yes. This video is a blessing to me as I’ve tried to explain it to people, and they don’t usually get it. Someone told me, “You’re so pretty. I would hate you, but I bet you’re nice.” People will direct hate towards you because of your beauty. This happened all my life, especially growing up as a WOC in a white school. Friends have been envious of me, and I didn’t understand. Men have behaved the way you explained, too. Now, in my job, I should be posting on social media more, but somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting to be perceived. There are 100% disadvantages to being pretty.
Wow…this whole video is 100% me. That’s for making me feel seen, I’m about to change my life now & be the baddest chick I can be. Screw everyone who has a problem with it.
Yes! #prettygirlclub 💅🏽 it’s YOUR beauty and you get to do what you want with it !
This is the most validating video I’ve ever watched.
Im petrified of embracing my beauty. Being stared at by men makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I wear daggy clothes and no make-up to avoid it.
This could not have popped up on my feed at a better time. Everything you touched on is literally my life in a nutshell. I'm in the process of taking back my power in my life, and I just want to say thank you for speaking on this. 🙏 I will no longer dim my light, people please, or hide myself away.
I feel you Sis! My exact thoughts!
Rise Queen 👑
I’m so glad I found this video , sometimes I get the chills thinking about how pretty I look and I get scared for no reason.
Last year everyone was complimenting my skin and how I looked like a doll🥺 but i I could tell how some of my family members were uncomfortable but this time I’m going all out I’m not gonna dim my light
Yup, it’s because other people say stuff like “you’re gonna get r@ped wearing that dress” etc
I swear i have never heard anyone articulate this out loud. I'm usually ALWAYS internalizing these thoughts. I get afraid to really show my true self because i have been jumped, assaulted, abused by men and women in my past, and constantly bullied at work and school and in my family for being attractive. By ALL races. I appreciate this and you for having the emotional intelligence to show ALL types of beautiful women. Beauty isn't one size, shape, or color. It's eclectic ❤🙏🏾💯👊🏽