You can't look like shit, when you look real. And that is such a breath of fresh air on this platform of today. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this. Someday the screens will all melt and fade away, and we'll all know that all we have is ourselves and each other. We are all one.
A wise man once said that a tree has its roots in sadness and its leaves in happiness. We draw nourishing water from the roots of our sadness, and absorb rejuvenating sunlight from the little leaves of our happiness. I think sadness gives a person depth. I agree with you that in society sadness is taboo and that is a shame. I guess it should be no surprise then that there are so many shallow people walking this earth right now. You on the other hand exude a genuine thoughtfulness. I think you are more centered than you may realize. Naturally your presence is heavy as with all introspective souls. I don't know how I stumbled onto this, but your sincerity moved me. Such a combination of intellect and warmth is rare. I wish you well. You know, the world wants everyone to be a star, but people forget about the beauty of darkness. People forget about the beauty of space.
'People forget about the beauty of darkness.' There is a truth to that deep insight that few care to acknowledge, for fear of being in that space. Amazing comment.
I wrote many years ago, that darkness is beautiful only to those who already live in darkness. But to those who live in the light, or seek it, it is indeed ugly - and unnecessary. Just as impure water is unattractive. There are two ways to learn in life, through the suffering of experience, or the obedience of truth and wisdom. Most choose the former, and whilst experience was always meant to be partially the way humans learn, it was not meant to be the sole teacher. The beauty you seek is not in darkness, but in its absence. But then again, it depends how exactly you define darkness. Some romanticise it, others lesson it, others make it equal to evil. If you see it as the great unknown, that is yet another way to define it. If you see darkness as brokeness, and celebrate that, then that says much of the one celebrating doesn't it.
To Deepfocuslens, As someone who is feeling frightened, lonely and nihilistic this video has uplifted my spirits. I thank you for being brave and sharing your vulnerable self despite the terrifying judgemental eyes of the world. Your sharing has eased my sense of alienation and that there are others who feel akin in this world. From the depths of my heart from one human being to another, your strength is admirable. sincerely and thank you.
You’re the most well spoken person I watched on TH-cam u r so smart I love how u articulate your thoughts and emotions. I have been going through tough times as of recently as well and but this video rlly helped me stop and think of where I am in life rn. I’m rlly glad I found this channel I love your movie reviews and I’m glad u r doing better rn.
Don't know if you'll even see my comment given that this video is four years old, but this is by far the most affecting, touching, and powerful video you've ever done. Your total inner beauty has never been more apparent to me. You've bared your soul here and I thank you and love you for it.
As someone who has suffered with mental health issue. It gets easier as you get older. You find balance. You become the person you have always been. And start realising the life's touched. By just being. But sometimes you need your own personal Jesus.
Not really everyone is prone to depression. People like Richard Fynmen wasnt prone to depression. People with massive egos are prone to depression and think highly of themselves.
Your message is beautiful because it's truthful - perceptiveness makes you an outsider, just no way around that. "The stairs up to heaven lead straight down to hell." Hopefully, over time we come to accept death, the dissolving of the ego, and we find our joy and peace in life by serving others. I always saw this idea as a platitude until, after many years of suffering, it became real for me. There's a clear light at the center and I feel our struggles represent our evolving toward consciousness of that light. Hopefully, with suffering we learn empathy.
I’ve appreciated your videos as of late, as it has helped me rekindle my deep love for Cinema. A deep love that was slowly being repressed by the pressures and judgements of people I’m surrounded by. I’m also someone who is high in neuroticism (experience of negative emotion) and so stumbling upon this video from long ago really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing!
When she said " I want you to live" , I cried. Because everyday there is a voice inside me which keeps telling me that I'm not worthy enough to live... I don't matter. Watching this video gave me strength to fight with that voice.
That's great Michael. I hope 6 months later you've still got the strength you realized you had when you first watched this amazing message. Take care please do....
Godfather find God. Reconnect to the Creator properly, fully, and with lifelong commitment, and you will cease fighting with those destructive voices, because they are powerless against His authority. They flee those who stand under the love and the protection of God. For they sing into your ear to prevent you from fulfilling your potential. And as long as you stand alone, you are fair game. This goes for everyone who is depressed and who knows they are supposed to do something great in the world - but have never even come close to fulfilling that deep inner desire. When a man is perpetually fighting just to stay afloat, how can he ever get on top of the situation in order to build up?
I used to be like that. Seek Jesus Christ and he will take all your pain away. You just need self worth and the way to get that is but knowing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and that you are a child of God. Peace and blessings to you Michael.
For what it’s worth, I want to say thank you for this. Thank you for your videos, and the intelligence, insight and eloquence you bring to everything you discuss - film, life or otherwise. I always look forward to hearing what you have to say, because you always say something worth hearing and thinking deeply about. Thank you for sharing your insights, and for being so honest and open about something so challenging, profound and universal. Life is a story no one survives, but we are together in it, none the less, as we stumble through it, our lives growing shorter as time moves forward...But on occasion, we bump into others as we stumble along, or they bump into us, even if only for a moment, and the experience reminds us we are not alone. Thanks for the reminder, even if it’s just through a TH-cam video, I’m glad you bumped into me.
One year later and this is still one my favorite videos ever. I'm gonna make it a thing, to come back to this video when ever I get into a really bad depressive state and just watch to remind myself to keep going even when I don't want to live anymore.
I'm watching your video for the first time and ......holy shit! I feel like I'm looking at a girl version of me! I've been thru all of this since I was 5 years old, thinking no one loves me etc. I call myself a closet manic depressive and EVERYTHING u said rings true. I knew I was drawn to you for a reason. (Although I think you have a greater reservoir of emotion and intellect than I do). I thought I was the only one 😔, so thank you! All the best to you.... always!
I was a bit surprised that 2020 was not as bad as the years leading up to it. Even though the situation is still a downer, I feel more resilient compared to years past.
I'm a cynical, somethimes depressed, possibly autistic bastard, that went from watching stupid "ASMR psychotic boyfriend dies in car accident" meme videos, to then watching your movie reviews, to then watch this insightful, existentialist video. In a meanwhile, on television, at the same moment, came up a documentary show with a mentally disabled person. I teared up like a little baby. This life is a weird simulation sometimes, with random stuff thrown up on you (with power of synchronicity and youtube algorithm). You sharing your experience is moving, and it takes some balls to document your insecurities and emotions publicly, something that I would never want to do. (I'm a stoic manly man, something that I want to roleplay out of my insecurities, combining with my broken sense of humor). Thank you for making our days better with your positive message, fellow stranger, from other stranger.
Hello, i just came by your Channel and i like the content! You showed bravery to make this video! I am a major depressive with crippling anxiety and i am on medication for it. In 2005 I was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. I was 21 at the time and from there i was never the same. I was bitterly depressed, even after i was in the all clear. Two years later i tried to kill myself twice and i spent a lot of time in a psychiatric hospital. I slowly distracted myself with things such as movies, sport, to try and get my mind off it. Now, i am in Argentina, married to a beautiful wife, but its still a daily struggle for me! I am under constant strain of anxiety and i am always feeling tired. I know your feeling. Keep strong!
Wow. Just by hearing that story I know you are so much stronger than you think you are. You will always struggle, but the fact that you now have made a new life for yourself proves that living for someone else as well as yourself is so important. Despite it all, there is always a chance at something better tomorrow. Thank you for sharing. :)
you are welcome! i am glad i came by your channel! You seem like a good person! Hope you feel like reviewing films again soon, because i know that it can be a good distraction! :)
I just discovered your channel and this is the most intense I’ve felt in awhile. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and sometimes I just want the pain to stop. I have some very close friends who are there for me and they keep me going.
All of this hit close to home, and I thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are feeling better these few years later (only just discovered your channel this morning but love your insight and reviews). I really related to the idea of not even being able to do much of anything, including watching movies, when you're in a slump or depressive episode. The pain and isolation of depression is enough, but to add on the loss of motivation and the avoidance of doing things that usually give you joy really makes it something I'd never wish on even my worst enemy. I'm already really selective about watching movies, where I have to really be engaged and in the right mindset to watch a particular genre or tone of film. I get even worse when I'm feeling down, since, even if I'm ready to watch something, my brain just says, "ah, maybe another time," and I put off watching yet another film. I'm getting a bit better these days of overcoming that, but there's definitely times, especially after a stressful shift at work, when I opt to just sit around and let me brain rest, because I want to give a movie the respect of having my full attention if I am going to commit to watching it.
Yes - it's call being human. Further, you earned it because you worked hard. People with integrity feel guilty when they do not earn their down time through hard work.
If there is one TH-camr who NEVER makes a bad or useless video, it's this lady. I found her channel less than a month ago and have been watching ever since. I don't agree with all her views (Inception is not that great is an example) but even then, you can appreciate the clarity of her position and the integrity with which she presents her reasoning. Imagine then when such a character shares a video on depression. Of course it was going to be one for the books. Keep being wonderful, lady. I appreciate you a whole lot!
Yeah of all the videos on the tube’ this one always seems worthy of returning to for me, so powerful and authentic, very comforting, and I’m glad that it’s here in the universe and most of life is kind of a competition that’s alienating but this reminds me that we all are human❤️❤️❤️
"Today a young man on Acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather." (Bill Hicks)
Great video. I don't know what your name is, I discovered your channel only today and I honestly felt liberated by your video. As I am growing older, I am starting to have those feelings u mentioned along with a bit of isolation and the whole feeling that I need to seek validation makes me feel worthless at times and those feelings start creeping in. I don't know how I will navigate life but seeing your experience makes me look forward to it.
You're absolutely right. I suffered with severe depression from excessive drug use for years and I fought to find a way to fix it, and I'm proud to say that I have. I still get boughts of it but its few and far between, and not nearly as bad. It DOES get better, but you also have to find a way to make it better.
@@CEWIII9873 actually I'm better now than ever. I take a multitude of supplements each day, walk my dogs for 3 hours a day, and every aspect of my life is the best its ever been. I appreciate that though!
@@trueaddict8733 Yup. Depression is simply a middle ground in which many choose to wallow. We move on from it by strengthening the basics through bettering our health and finances then appreciating each day for what it is.
As someone who's been living with depression from the age of 11, and for 21 years now ( and still counting ), i have to say that what you did/said was very courageous, it's something i couldn't be able to do, not on camera atleast.. I tend to just keep my mouth shut, and not bother anyone with it, not out of fear of not being understood, but because it won't change a thing for me...and i'm not a good talker, i tend to shut down a lot, so it would make thing difficult for me to fully express how i feel.. I know exactly what you're talking about, and i've felt everything you've felt, and then some.. Been ( and still am ) on this rollercoaster-ride that never seems to end, and i'm starting to reach that point again where i just want to break free and just jump out, not caring how hard i will fall, if i will break anything on landing, if i die on impact..i just want it to end..this ride is taking way too long.. But, something..i don't know what..is keeping me here, should i be glad about it? It's hard to enjoy a lot of things in life, for me personally, cause we live in a world where a lot of things don't make sense to me, the way people treat eachother nowadays..it's not right..and it makes me sad, it also makes me almost not want to participate even more.. But anywho.. I woke up this morning, and one of the first thing i saw was your video, and it really moved me, it touched me in a way that i felt i had to finally leave a comment.. I've been subscribed to your channel for..i don't know how long now, years..and never left a comment on any of your vids, only because i am extremely introverted in some areas..and a lot of people online are dicks :) So yeah, i just wanted to let you know, that you have nothing to be ashamed of, don't ever regret posting this, i'm glad you did, as most people will agree that are subscribed to your channel and follow you on FB & Twitter.. It was honest and heartfelt, and i/we can only love you for it, even if i/we don't know you personally.. Take Care of you first, the rest will follow ;) Greets all the way from The Netherlands, Gregory Xx You too are not alone in this
Thank you for finally commenting. As I said, I totally get you. I understand every feeling you have described. The reason humans are so sad and so negative is because we neglect the positive and magnify the negative. If only we could let go of that idea. If only we could counteract the negative more often with positive. We would be so much better off as a species. There is more good in the world than you might think. That stuff is just not focused on because it's not "newsworthy." I think that little shred of hope for something better is what keeps us going. That and fear of death and the unknown. The moment you let go of what we think "should" happen and learn to accept life and the moment you are living, things get much easier. The mind can be tamed. It can be changed if you really want it. That's what we must work on. We can do it. :)
Wow this is a beautiful video. I was just browsing through your content and this caught me totally of guard. 2016 was the worst year of my life. But I am still here.
I cannot express how much gratitude I have that I came across this video today of all days. Thank you very much for posting this video in 2016, a year in which I would say I also had the highest of highs and lowest of lows. But today, given current situations, I believe I am experiencing very similar feelings to those that I felt 4 years ago, only that they are much, much more amplified today than they were then. I am so happy in this moment that I came across this video. I sincerely appreciate what you had to say. In some ways, it feels like you have taken the words right out of my mouth-the sheer similarities between the sentiments you expressed here and those that I am feeling-and I wonder if it is a coincidence that this video was recommended to me today. Whether I was lucky, whether it was a higher power, I do not know. Regardless, I am grateful.
I'm probably at the lowest point in my life right now, and watching this video brought me to tears. Thank you for your kind and authentic words. I love your videos and I wish you the best.
I've also been fightin with depression this whole year, I stopped talkin to all my friends and I started to stay at home and do nothing basically. I felt so bad about myself, it felt like I wasted my time but I couldnt find a way to stop it. Today I said to myself that sooner or later I will get out of this condition and then I watched this video. I cant explain to you how much I related to this, I cried the whole way through cuz I understood everything that you meant. I feel so much better right now thanks to you. You're an amazing person and you're never alone, there's always someone out there that goes through what you go through. Thanks for makin this video! Take care and stay strong! ❤
Wow. That means so much to hear you say that. You may feel pain, but one thing that you cannot do is neglect the people around you. I've been doing that this whole time and it is time to turn that around. Just remember that the mind is very powerful. Sadness is an illusion. If you want it bad enough you can turn that negativity into something positive. It takes a lot of work, but it's possible. You must be productive, hang out with friends and family, do mediation or something similar, do something creative. Anything to help you find that balance in your life. You will get there. I know you will. I will too. Chin up. :)
Thank you so much for this video, I need to show this to my brother who is going through depression. He regularly has suicidal thoughts and I get so scared that he's going to do something and that I'm never going to see him again. hopefully this'll help him. I really hope you're ok. I've been subscribed to you for a while and you're one of the very few film reviewers/youtubers that I truly respect. I hope things get a lot better for you. look after yourself.
Damn. This is how I feel about two weeks after withdrawals. So, I've had a lot of addiction issues in my life. I recently came to the conclusion (and this is my own experience) that my own disease isn't really addiction. Addiction is just this huge symptom. The real disease is my belief that I have no real worth. I mean, if people really believed they were worth something, like really deep down they knew they were unconditionally loved by someone other than their mother, and they knew their place in the world, why would they constantly try to destroy themselves? Rhetorical question. I understand that the reasons people use is varied, and this is my own personal experience... I'm talking about my own demons here. My real disease is this cloud that can just settle over me when I let my guard down. The older I get, the harder it is to find my way out of it. And after a few weeks of feeling like I'm just a piece of shit, and listening to that voice in my head constantly tell me I suck... I'll do almost anything to feel something else and to mute that voice any way I can--which is where the vicious cycle always starts for me. Sadness and loneliness are relentless assholes. If I didn't have a great family (mother and father, siblings, grandparents) I'd be well and truly screwed. The 'Happiness is better than sadness' line is way more profound than it sounds.
Josh Yes; but you are on your way because you by understanding that addiction is simply a symptom - you are almost there. You have to value yourself first, and understand it is okay to put oneself first. Otherwise, people are take, take, take. This value of other people is indelible, so you simply work with it and avoid it. I highly recommend first replacing addiction with hard exercise and a proper diet. Good luck.
I didn't realize how tough you had it. I'm sorry to hear all of this and I felt similar things as a kid. Thanks for this video, this will help a lot of ppl and it brought me back to a time when I definitely would have needed it. Like Bo Burnham said, "I hope you're happy." MAKE HAPPY
@@KrisBryant99 I just edited my post. To be honest, I was being a bit silly and chivalrous and it was just unnecessary. I did want to leave up that I think this is a very appreciated and beneficially vulnerable video and it adds to her record of directness.
This level of emotional intelligence is worth you being proud of, and for others directly involved in your life to be proud of your spiritual maturity.
Do you have a job? Do you have friends? Did you have a partner? Do you have a sexual life? You can get all of that. You are intelligent, good looking, and likeable. I've got none of that. My whole life has been destroyed by diseases: Borderline, OCD, Panic. Battling with these for 30 years now. When my dad died last year, totally unexpected, I realized, that's it. My life is done. I'm done. It was not worth it. I had dreams and wanted to love and live. But I couldn't make it happen.
What a moving story you tell here: very authentic. By the way I love your channel and reviews, so interesting and intelligent. Very warm greetings from Holland.
I don't know if you'll even see my comment, because this video was given five years old. but still i wanna tell you. I tried to find Fight Club Movie Reviews, and then i saw your Fight Club Review video and I watched many videos of yours and your videos were very good, but I felt nothing and when I saw this video I cried a lot within two minutes.😢 I'm 21 years old and I never use drugs but i understand how you feeling and your pain. You may ask me how you can understand my feelings at only 21 years old.. please trust me I can understand your pain. I have faced so many problems throughout in my life. i worked so hard and i never hurt anyone in my life and I try to help people every day, but still everyone hurts me, my friends bullied me and my family bullied me and I can't tell you what people did to me It was horrible. And now I have no friends, no family, i have no one to share my pain. Sometimes I cry a lot in my room alone. Sometimes I feel like, feel like, I don’t know how to describe how much pain i feels in my heart 😔 I saw myself in you while watching this video. I hope you are doing well. and I feel so proud to have subscribed to your channel.💕 I love you so much and Stay Safe ❤❤❤
You were very brave to put yourself out there like this, and even though I've only just stumbled across this channel, I can firmly say that you've touched me very sincerely with your words. As someone who is constantly in contention with their own feelings, I am happy to know that others like you can empathize and have the courage to spread messages of love and kindness like this - even for an audience dedicated mostly towards film. Wishing you love and merriment from the UK! :)
What's beautiful about this particular post is how it so bravely deconstructs the myth of competency. From your other videos it's clear that you value clarity and having your shit together. Like many others commenting here I only recently discovered your channel, and deeply admire the content. I have a degree in film and feel like I'm listening to someone worth spending my time on, which is rare these days. It's generally thought that people who are so articulate and informed are sort of super human in their life-powers, that they don't have to navigate the darker realms of being, simply because they're so damn smart and together. But nothing could be further from the truth .In fact possessing keen intelligence---and you're clearly a very bright, soulful human---is no guarantee of an easy path through life. Often times it's quite the opposite, as the more perceptive you are the more you see, hence the more you have to process and subsequently make peace with. The business of seeing with an unflinching gaze at such a high level is saint work, to be sure. The Wim Wenders documentary Salt of the Earth examines the life of fine art photographer Sebestiao Salgado, and touches on this notion in a really beautiful way. I'm not a big fan of Wenders, but you may want to review that film. I cried like a fucking baby at the end of it---tears of redemption, not sorrow. Wishing you similar tears.
I realize it's a really cynic thing to say but for some people, there is no one person that loves you and life aint a rollercoaster but just a monotonous wading across a swamp of shit. and all we can do is find distractions from it, movies, books, the internet. not saying it's not my fault, judt observing a fact
Subscribed. Not because of your awesome taste in movies, but because this video makes it oh so much easier to relate to you on a personal level. You're not just some perfect beautiful woman, you have problems like the rest of us. Real problems. And you're taking a big step in an effort to deal with them. Much props, and your words resonate so much with me as well.
Are you doing better now than when you made this video? Do you believe that psychedelics can actually help with depression? If so, which ones? I've seen recent studies saying that Psilocybin can actually cure depression/depersonalization. DMT from what I've read would probably be a litttleee bit too strong to possibly cure any ailments.
htownallday281 After I made this video, things got a lot worse. But I was lucky and I found help. Now, I feel like I'm on a serious road to recovery. It just took a close call to finally get that sense knocked into me. I do believe that psychedelics can absolutely help with depression as long as they are taken seriously and you don't abuse it. Every psychedelic I've ever taken has opened my mind in some way. You just have to be careful. These kinds of medicines can be wonderful for your own psychological benefits and peace of mind, but they can also make the hard parts of life far more intense. So, you just have to be careful as I've said. I had very bad anxiety for years until I did DMT. It vanished from that day forward and I haven't ever had it again. It just depends on how open you are to facing your own mind and conquering those demons. I get that it's not for everyone, but I encourage all to be open minded about these things. Yes, psilocybin has incredible benefits. That's probably a really good one to start out with since it's lighter than some of the more heavy hitters out there.
I know this video is a bit older, but I just wanted to say you're doing great work on this channel and what you do matters. You've earned a subscriber in me and I look forward to your insightful and honest videos in the future. Keep on keepin' on. :)
Sometimes one feels like peace of mind, joy, levity, love, friendship, some or all of the above are simply things one is not cut out for, like one isn't wired for. As if one has a part missing that inhibits from participating in the good side of life. Like only the most painful thoughts seem like the most real and anything that challenges that perception is suspect. I wish I had a punchline or a moral for this...
Truth is, the vast majority of 9 to 5 occupations out there are unnecessary and counterproductive to public health and society. Not your occupation though. Your job provides such meaning, purpose, and worth
Damn, really strong video. Just found your channel through your "The Forbidden Room" review, love all the reviews on here, especially since there not like reviewers that mainly do recent movies. Keep up the good work.
Glad I saw this video iv been battling depression for a long time and just recently I lost 3 of my family members this year and it's been a rough year I feel alone sometimes and that people think I'm a weirdo cuz I'm super nice to everyone and my depression starts to kick in and I get sad and this virus is not helping at all but I hope you are doing well and that you are staying safe 🙂🙏
One thing I will never understand is recreational drug use. No offense to those that do. Had many an opportunity to partake, hung out with the wrong crowd a few times & been good friends with those that do. When they ask me why I won't, I'm not even being cheeky I honestly reply why would you? For me the taking of a substance for an experience that is temporary & artificial seems useless to me. I want to experience my reality pure & uninfluenced by anything else. I hate the idea of an external force exerting control on me. I don't want coffee making me stay up if I'm sleepy. If I'm sleepy I want to be sleepy. If I'm depressed I rather feel what I am & not some artificial happiness put on me. Obviously I draw the line at critical surgery, I'd break it for something like that.
i have a son about your age so it hurts me to see you like this. I know this was months ago but i certainly hope you feel better. Not knowing if this is just depression or if there is a problem and not knowing the issue (and I don't expect you to divulge your personal problem on the social media) I will say, yes, as you said, appreciate those who love you and know they are out there. Also stay away from toxic people because you end up hurt. Easier said than done when the toxic person is someone you love but we just do the best you can. keep busy. i read once that we are like bicycles, you move forward and you're fine. stay in one spot and you fall over. Anyway, stay strong, sending hugs your way.
Excellent advice. Things got pretty bad after that video. But I've been working really hard on some of my issues in life and I'm doing much better. Obviously I still have some things I'm trying to work through, but I am much healthier mentally and physically than I was then. Thank you for the support. :)
You're welcome. glad you're working through it. As much as you remember those who love you, please remember those you love and let them know. they may need it more than you realize. I seem to be the Yoda in my family but even Yodas need some TLC too. anyway, stay strong, hope whatever issues you have in your life settle down quickly. Namaste
Tonight I watched Mulholland Drive again, which is one of my all time favorite films. After that I went online to check some reviews and I stumbled upon your channel and work. After watching your Mulholland Drive review, which I thought was really insightful and awesome, I came here. I just need to share with you that I think you are very brave. You really touched me with your kindness, your intelligence and honesty and I will remember this video and show it to the people I love. I subscribed right away and can't wait to check all your reviews. Of course, needless to say, hang in there! But you have a great force, a strength. You will cope and even help others. I am absolutely certain of that!! Love and piece from Amsterdam :)
"Walked out this morning Don't believe what I saw. Hundred million bottles all washed up on the shore. It seems I'm not alone at being alone. Hundred million castaways looking for a home. " You are a beautiful lady and there are millions of US sad souls out there. Remember We are loved and important.
This is a really old video and you're probably doing great now (at least I hope you are), but as someone who has suffered from depression for the bulk of my adult life and am currently going through a really bad spell, I just wanted to say thank you for making this. I have no idea why this video showed up in my recommendations today, but the fact that it did very well may have saved my life. The funny thing is I give advice like this to other depressed people all the time, but I can never heed and practice my own words. There's something therapeutic about hearing it directed toward me from someone else. Keep fighting the good fight.
I don't know if you'll even see my comment, because this video was given five years old. but still i wanna tell you. I tried to find Fight Club Movie Reviews, and then i saw your Fight Club Review video and I watched many videos of yours and your videos were very good, but I felt nothing and when I saw this video I cried a lot within two minutes.😢 I'm 21 years old and I never use drugs but i understand how you feeling and your pain. You may ask me how you can understand my feelings at only 21 years old.. please trust me I can understand your pain. I have faced so many problems throughout in my life. i worked so hard and i never hurt anyone in my life and I try to help people every day, but still everyone hurts me, my friends bullied me and my family bullied me and I can't tell you what people did to me It was horrible. And now I have no friends, no family, i have no one to share my pain. Sometimes I cry a lot in my room alone. Sometimes I feel like, feel like, I don’t know how to describe how much pain i feels in my heart 😔 I saw myself in you while watching this video. I hope you are doing well. and I feel so proud to have subscribed to your channel. stay safe and be happy ❤❤❤
I struggle with depression from time to time; my last fall was last year for many reasons. While things are much better now, I won't deny that things still can get bumpy from time to time. Being an introvert, working as an English teacher in a foreign country like Japan is not easy. But pursuing my creativity on the side as a writer and an artist has been one of the only things helping me get by besides going to the gym, movies, and my family. I am glad I stumbled onto this video. Much thanks to you for the motivation.
God I wish I could click more times the like botton This is a fantastic video, even though Im not felling bad at the moment, I have had fellings of absolutely everything you said Very greatfull of stumbling to your channel, thank you very much,,,
Omg, that part where you started getting all emotional... Like, I wanted to hug you so bad! There is so much bravery in this video and I'm really happy that you made it, especially for the ones who need it most. I believe that talking about these heavy things can actually make stuff better for everyone. That's why I'm so pro-therapist and anti social media, in the Way that I disagree with the fact that we all have to constantly pretend that we're all happy and everything is going fine. Initially I was hoping for another movie review but looking back I'm really glad you made this video instead.
I found your channel a long long time back and when you posted this in 2016 it helped me a lot. Here I am, 5 years later, and back to feeling the same shitty feelings, and this helped me again. Thanks for being there, wherever you are.
Thank you for recording and posting this! It took courage to do so. Inspiring to so many. Respect. Remember you are valuable, precious and loved. You are welcome to write to me anytime if you like. I will listen.
God allows evil because He can bring good out of it. Prayer and grace in the Catholic Church can help you and everyone Maggie. God can help and is the best and only help, but we have to seek and find Him to get that help. Your drug trip put you in the void, probably like Hell where God isn't. Everything that you realised was good to have, out of the void, is actually thanks to God. God is spirit and has created everything good and preserves all the good things He's created- including us- but sometimes in desperation we look for escapes from His goodness because sometimes things suck, but the solution is not escaping but acknowledging how dependant we are on God's life. So in these hard times- and I struggle to do this but should- we should call on God to help us, to give us guidance on what to do to get out of our ruts, and the grace to be able to do it- also to give us hope and show us what to strive for realistically- where we can flourish. God bless you Maggie- life is hard- but God allows hard times to make us realise that we should change and not think that we can be independent and flourish, because we can not even live without God, so if we are truthful with ourselves we will give God thanks and ask for help which is what God wants- us to acknowledge Him and to work with Him, rather than ignore Him- who is our spiritual supernatural Father- our Creator and Preserver, who can give us life to the full and joy, which is natural. God bless.
Thank You for sharing this, and soooo glad you came out of this period for the better. I can not really identify with your journey but appreciate your giving a new perspective for us to consider. Plus we now get all these amazing reviews and commentary that you have shared with us. Love to you- you deserve it and have earned it and hopefully accept it.
Do whats good for you and don't feel any pressure to do anything you don't feel like doing. This is your youtube channel and its full of fans that will understand. Edit: I didn't have time to watch all of it before but I watched it now and some of it resonated deeply with me. I have had down parts and feel it for a while but fortunately I do feel a lot of comfort in thinking and planning about how to make the right changes. I really hope the best for you and this was very hard to watch.
As a Wicked fan. Absolutely zero chance it gets director. This film looks cheap. I wouldn't be surprised if the movie flops hard, especially with how embarrassed the marketing is about it being 2 parts and how it keeps skying away from the fact its a musical
ive drank mushrooms . probably not as intense as dmt. but it changed my life. i used to depressed for years. but after that experience with a fox in my room talking to me. my life changed for the better. its crazy . but it changed my life
Your words were very comforting, Maggie. Thank you for sharing them! I've always thought of you as a strong woman and this is just another reason as to why I admire you as a person.
Creating this video was brave. Not deleting it for this long even though people may judge you takes an extremely strong character. Thanks n all the best man
Absolutely beautiful video and message and I could not agree more with you. We have to allow ourselves to be sad during the bad times in order to move forward and grow - I learned this through my own experiences and I can definitely confirm that things do get better, if you allow them to.
A call to take your hand For I'm at one with the dark How dare you come for me And again you must die So ancient curse known to me Behold the powers I unleash Upon your throne Know my words, feel my hate descend Lord of light I will swarm against you now Gods perverse Wickeds at my side Misery Thorns to lance your every word Nazarene Now I crown you king in pain SUFFER
Wow. WOW. That was powerful and beautiful and brave. Thank you SO much for posting this! Yours is a voice that needs to be heard. And boy do I ever get you just as you get those you were directing your message toward. I was very moved by your words and by your naked, unashamed emotion. The level of honest feeling you showed in your video is something in increasingly short supply in our increasingly shallow culture and it was incredibly refreshing to experience. Many things you related happen to parallel my own journey and left me feeling elated and hopeful. You're obviously an extraordinary young woman, fully embracing of your flaws as well as your many attributes. But, above all, you are clearly a caring and compassionate being and I bless you. Sending you love and many virtual hugs!
You can't look like shit, when you look real. And that is such a breath of fresh air on this platform of today. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this. Someday the screens will all melt and fade away, and we'll all know that all we have is ourselves and each other. We are all one.
A wise man once said that a tree has its roots in sadness and its leaves in happiness. We draw nourishing water from the roots of our sadness, and absorb rejuvenating sunlight from the little leaves of our happiness. I think sadness gives a person depth. I agree with you that in society sadness is taboo and that is a shame. I guess it should be no surprise then that there are so many shallow people walking this earth right now. You on the other hand exude a genuine thoughtfulness. I think you are more centered than you may realize. Naturally your presence is heavy as with all introspective souls. I don't know how I stumbled onto this, but your sincerity moved me. Such a combination of intellect and warmth is rare. I wish you well. You know, the world wants everyone to be a star, but people forget about the beauty of darkness. People forget about the beauty of space.
You express yourself beautifully. Thank you so much for saying so. :)
I couldn’t agree more. Thank you.
Lovely comment.
'People forget about the beauty of darkness.' There is a truth to that deep insight that few care to acknowledge, for fear of being in that space.
Amazing comment.
I wrote many years ago, that darkness is beautiful only to those who already live in darkness. But to those who live in the light, or seek it, it is indeed ugly - and unnecessary. Just as impure water is unattractive.
There are two ways to learn in life, through the suffering of experience, or the obedience of truth and wisdom. Most choose the former, and whilst experience was always meant to be partially the way humans learn, it was not meant to be the sole teacher. The beauty you seek is not in darkness, but in its absence.
But then again, it depends how exactly you define darkness. Some romanticise it, others lesson it, others make it equal to evil. If you see it as the great unknown, that is yet another way to define it.
If you see darkness as brokeness, and celebrate that, then that says much of the one celebrating doesn't it.
To Deepfocuslens,
As someone who is feeling frightened, lonely and nihilistic this video has uplifted my spirits. I thank you for being brave and sharing your vulnerable self despite the terrifying judgemental eyes of the world. Your sharing has eased my sense of alienation and that there are others who feel akin in this world. From the depths of my heart from one human being to another, your strength is admirable. sincerely and thank you.
You’re the most well spoken person I watched on TH-cam u r so smart I love how u articulate your thoughts and emotions. I have been going through tough times as of recently as well and but this video rlly helped me stop and think of where I am in life rn. I’m rlly glad I found this channel I love your movie reviews and I’m glad u r doing better rn.
Don't know if you'll even see my comment given that this video is four years old, but this is by far the most affecting, touching, and powerful video you've ever done. Your total inner beauty has never been more apparent to me. You've bared your soul here and I thank you and love you for it.
I always find myself coming back to this video.
As someone who has suffered with mental health issue. It gets easier as you get older. You find balance. You become the person you have always been. And start realising the life's touched. By just being. But sometimes you need your own personal Jesus.
agreed
It is a form of experience
I noticed that deep thinkers, cerebral people are more prone to depression
Haha yes, I would definitely say this is true.
That is very much me, always inside my head
I think that thinking of yourself as a 'deep thinker', an therefore consider others as not as deep as yourself, is part of the problem
@@dominik13579 no. Your "therefore" doesn't follow.
Not really everyone is prone to depression.
People like Richard Fynmen wasnt prone to depression.
People with massive egos are prone to depression and think highly of themselves.
Keep your chin up Maggie, we love ya =]
Your message is beautiful because it's truthful - perceptiveness makes you an outsider, just no way around that. "The stairs up to heaven lead straight down to hell." Hopefully, over time we come to accept death, the dissolving of the ego, and we find our joy and peace in life by serving others. I always saw this idea as a platitude until, after many years of suffering, it became real for me. There's a clear light at the center and I feel our struggles represent our evolving toward consciousness of that light. Hopefully, with suffering we learn empathy.
Perceptiveness makes you an outsider. SO TRUE
I’ve appreciated your videos as of late, as it has helped me rekindle my deep love for Cinema. A deep love that was slowly being repressed by the pressures and judgements of people I’m surrounded by. I’m also someone who is high in neuroticism (experience of negative emotion) and so stumbling upon this video from long ago really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing!
When she said " I want you to live" , I cried. Because everyday there is a voice inside me which keeps telling me that I'm not worthy enough to live... I don't matter. Watching this video gave me strength to fight with that voice.
That's great Michael. I hope 6 months later you've still got the strength you realized you had when you first watched this amazing message. Take care please do....
Godfather find God. Reconnect to the Creator properly, fully, and with lifelong commitment, and you will cease fighting with those destructive voices, because they are powerless against His authority. They flee those who stand under the love and the protection of God. For they sing into your ear to prevent you from fulfilling your potential. And as long as you stand alone, you are fair game. This goes for everyone who is depressed and who knows they are supposed to do something great in the world - but have never even come close to fulfilling that deep inner desire. When a man is perpetually fighting just to stay afloat, how can he ever get on top of the situation in order to build up?
I used to be like that. Seek Jesus Christ and he will take all your pain away. You just need self worth and the way to get that is but knowing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and that you are a child of God. Peace and blessings to you Michael.
There's no worthy or worthy. There's simply you, alive, here, and now. That's the ultimate freedom when we truly know that in our hearts.
@@derek96720 - Wonderfully said. We live, and that is "worth" enough. While we live, we have a choice and we can experience happiness and hope.
For what it’s worth, I want to say thank you for this. Thank you for your videos, and the intelligence, insight and eloquence you bring to everything you discuss - film, life or otherwise. I always look forward to hearing what you have to say, because you always say something worth hearing and thinking deeply about. Thank you for sharing your insights, and for being so honest and open about something so challenging, profound and universal. Life is a story no one survives, but we are together in it, none the less, as we stumble through it, our lives growing shorter as time moves forward...But on occasion, we bump into others as we stumble along, or they bump into us, even if only for a moment, and the experience reminds us we are not alone. Thanks for the reminder, even if it’s just through a TH-cam video, I’m glad you bumped into me.
One year later and this is still one my favorite videos ever. I'm gonna make it a thing, to come back to this video when ever I get into a really bad depressive state and just watch to remind myself to keep going even when I don't want to live anymore.
How are you these days?
I'm watching your video for the first time and ......holy shit! I feel like I'm looking at a girl version of me! I've been thru all of this since I was 5 years old, thinking no one loves me etc. I call myself a closet manic depressive and EVERYTHING u said rings true. I knew I was drawn to you for a reason. (Although I think you have a greater reservoir of emotion and intellect than I do). I thought I was the only one 😔, so thank you! All the best to you.... always!
"I know 2016 has been a hard year for the world"
2020: Hold my corona virus
HAH
For me 2016 was the shittiest year ever.
I was a bit surprised that 2020 was not as bad as the years leading up to it. Even though the situation is still a downer, I feel more resilient compared to years past.
I'm a cynical, somethimes depressed, possibly autistic bastard, that went from watching stupid "ASMR psychotic boyfriend dies in car accident" meme videos, to then watching your movie reviews, to then watch this insightful, existentialist video. In a meanwhile, on television, at the same moment, came up a documentary show with a mentally disabled person.
I teared up like a little baby.
This life is a weird simulation sometimes, with random stuff thrown up on you (with power of synchronicity and youtube algorithm).
You sharing your experience is moving, and it takes some balls to document your insecurities and emotions publicly, something that I would never want to do. (I'm a stoic manly man, something that I want to roleplay out of my insecurities, combining with my broken sense of humor).
Thank you for making our days better with your positive message, fellow stranger, from other stranger.
Needed to hear this , especially these last few months, weeks and even days, cheers for that!
Hello, i just came by your Channel and i like the content! You showed bravery to make this video! I am a major depressive with crippling anxiety and i am on medication for it. In 2005 I was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. I was 21 at the time and from there i was never the same. I was bitterly depressed, even after i was in the all clear. Two years later i tried to kill myself twice and i spent a lot of time in a psychiatric hospital. I slowly distracted myself with things such as movies, sport, to try and get my mind off it. Now, i am in Argentina, married to a beautiful wife, but its still a daily struggle for me! I am under constant strain of anxiety and i am always feeling tired. I know your feeling. Keep strong!
Wow. Just by hearing that story I know you are so much stronger than you think you are. You will always struggle, but the fact that you now have made a new life for yourself proves that living for someone else as well as yourself is so important. Despite it all, there is always a chance at something better tomorrow. Thank you for sharing. :)
you are welcome! i am glad i came by your channel! You seem like a good person! Hope you feel like reviewing films again soon, because i know that it can be a good distraction! :)
SpannersGerm669 Oh no doubt, I'll be back at it very soon. You have to be productive in order to move forward. :)
very good to hear! You have a supporter here :)
I just discovered your channel and this is the most intense I’ve felt in awhile. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and sometimes I just want the pain to stop. I have some very close friends who are there for me and they keep me going.
What is your diet and exercise regimen?
All of this hit close to home, and I thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are feeling better these few years later (only just discovered your channel this morning but love your insight and reviews).
I really related to the idea of not even being able to do much of anything, including watching movies, when you're in a slump or depressive episode. The pain and isolation of depression is enough, but to add on the loss of motivation and the avoidance of doing things that usually give you joy really makes it something I'd never wish on even my worst enemy. I'm already really selective about watching movies, where I have to really be engaged and in the right mindset to watch a particular genre or tone of film. I get even worse when I'm feeling down, since, even if I'm ready to watch something, my brain just says, "ah, maybe another time," and I put off watching yet another film. I'm getting a bit better these days of overcoming that, but there's definitely times, especially after a stressful shift at work, when I opt to just sit around and let me brain rest, because I want to give a movie the respect of having my full attention if I am going to commit to watching it.
Yes - it's call being human.
Further, you earned it because you worked hard.
People with integrity feel guilty when they do not earn their down time through hard work.
If there is one TH-camr who NEVER makes a bad or useless video, it's this lady. I found her channel less than a month ago and have been watching ever since. I don't agree with all her views (Inception is not that great is an example) but even then, you can appreciate the clarity of her position and the integrity with which she presents her reasoning. Imagine then when such a character shares a video on depression. Of course it was going to be one for the books.
Keep being wonderful, lady. I appreciate you a whole lot!
Yeah of all the videos on the tube’ this one always seems worthy of returning to for me, so powerful and authentic, very comforting, and I’m glad that it’s here in the universe and most of life is kind of a competition that’s alienating but this reminds me that we all are human❤️❤️❤️
"Today a young man on Acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather." (Bill Hicks)
reposted
RedSon A fucking legend. R.I.P. ole Billy boy.
Heard this quote for the first time in the song Third Eye by Tool.
If he wanted to know that, all he had to do was study the various philosophies of Hinduism.
Great video. I don't know what your name is, I discovered your channel only today and I honestly felt liberated by your video. As I am growing older, I am starting to have those feelings u mentioned along with a bit of isolation and the whole feeling that I need to seek validation makes me feel worthless at times and those feelings start creeping in. I don't know how I will navigate life but seeing your experience makes me look forward to it.
You're absolutely right. I suffered with severe depression from excessive drug use for years and I fought to find a way to fix it, and I'm proud to say that I have. I still get boughts of it but its few and far between, and not nearly as bad. It DOES get better, but you also have to find a way to make it better.
I hope you are clean.
Replace the drugs with exercise.
@@CEWIII9873 actually I'm better now than ever. I take a multitude of supplements each day, walk my dogs for 3 hours a day, and every aspect of my life is the best its ever been. I appreciate that though!
@@trueaddict8733 Yup.
Depression is simply a middle ground in which many choose to wallow.
We move on from it by strengthening the basics through bettering our health and finances then appreciating each day for what it is.
@@CEWIII9873 i would definitely agree. I've found that depression really stems from poor lifestyle choices. It can be fixed without pharmaceuticals
Very beautifully said. Thank you for the kind words! Hope you are well.
I can sit here all day, not say a word, and listen to you speak. All your videos provides a lot value.
As someone who's been living with depression from the age of 11, and for 21 years now ( and still counting ), i have to say that what you did/said was very courageous, it's something i couldn't be able to do, not on camera atleast..
I tend to just keep my mouth shut, and not bother anyone with it, not out of fear of not being understood, but because it won't change a thing for me...and i'm not a good talker, i tend to shut down a lot, so it would make thing difficult for me to fully express how i feel..
I know exactly what you're talking about, and i've felt everything you've felt, and then some..
Been ( and still am ) on this rollercoaster-ride that never seems to end, and i'm starting to reach that point again where i just want to break free and just jump out, not caring how hard i will fall, if i will break anything on landing, if i die on impact..i just want it to end..this ride is taking way too long..
But, something..i don't know what..is keeping me here, should i be glad about it?
It's hard to enjoy a lot of things in life, for me personally, cause we live in a world where a lot of things don't make sense to me, the way people treat eachother nowadays..it's not right..and it makes me sad, it also makes me almost not want to participate even more..
But anywho..
I woke up this morning, and one of the first thing i saw was your video, and it really moved me, it touched me in a way that i felt i had to finally leave a comment..
I've been subscribed to your channel for..i don't know how long now, years..and never left a comment on any of your vids, only because i am extremely introverted in some areas..and a lot of people online are dicks :)
So yeah, i just wanted to let you know, that you have nothing to be ashamed of, don't ever regret posting this, i'm glad you did, as most people will agree that are subscribed to your channel and follow you on FB & Twitter..
It was honest and heartfelt, and i/we can only love you for it, even if i/we don't know you personally..
Take Care of you first, the rest will follow ;)
Greets all the way from The Netherlands, Gregory Xx
You too are not alone in this
Thank you for finally commenting. As I said, I totally get you. I understand every feeling you have described. The reason humans are so sad and so negative is because we neglect the positive and magnify the negative. If only we could let go of that idea. If only we could counteract the negative more often with positive. We would be so much better off as a species. There is more good in the world than you might think. That stuff is just not focused on because it's not "newsworthy." I think that little shred of hope for something better is what keeps us going. That and fear of death and the unknown. The moment you let go of what we think "should" happen and learn to accept life and the moment you are living, things get much easier. The mind can be tamed. It can be changed if you really want it. That's what we must work on. We can do it. :)
Wow this is a beautiful video. I was just browsing through your content and this caught me totally of guard. 2016 was the worst year of my life. But I am still here.
this video helped me a lot, i love you as a person
I hope we both find that thing that actually means something to us.....and I hope it's enough to fill the void and make life as enjoyable as possible.
We already have what "means something to us"
Ourselves.
I cannot express how much gratitude I have that I came across this video today of all days. Thank you very much for posting this video in 2016, a year in which I would say I also had the highest of highs and lowest of lows. But today, given current situations, I believe I am experiencing very similar feelings to those that I felt 4 years ago, only that they are much, much more amplified today than they were then. I am so happy in this moment that I came across this video. I sincerely appreciate what you had to say. In some ways, it feels like you have taken the words right out of my mouth-the sheer similarities between the sentiments you expressed here and those that I am feeling-and I wonder if it is a coincidence that this video was recommended to me today. Whether I was lucky, whether it was a higher power, I do not know. Regardless, I am grateful.
Life is what we make it
I'm probably at the lowest point in my life right now, and watching this video brought me to tears. Thank you for your kind and authentic words. I love your videos and I wish you the best.
Amazing video. Thank you for being so vulnerable. You really helped me 💗 Bless you 💗
I wish you’d do a whole video on your DMt experience.
I second this!
@Wytchfinde sounds like you need to try dmt
I third (eye) this!
th-cam.com/video/AzfDtyDk9XE/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=Finch2009
For having tried DMT : that guy speaks the tru-true (so does she, by the way)
I've also been fightin with depression this whole year, I stopped talkin to all my friends and I started to stay at home and do nothing basically. I felt so bad about myself, it felt like I wasted my time but I couldnt find a way to stop it. Today I said to myself that sooner or later I will get out of this condition and then I watched this video. I cant explain to you how much I related to this, I cried the whole way through cuz I understood everything that you meant. I feel so much better right now thanks to you. You're an amazing person and you're never alone, there's always someone out there that goes through what you go through. Thanks for makin this video! Take care and stay strong! ❤
Wow. That means so much to hear you say that. You may feel pain, but one thing that you cannot do is neglect the people around you. I've been doing that this whole time and it is time to turn that around. Just remember that the mind is very powerful. Sadness is an illusion. If you want it bad enough you can turn that negativity into something positive. It takes a lot of work, but it's possible. You must be productive, hang out with friends and family, do mediation or something similar, do something creative. Anything to help you find that balance in your life. You will get there. I know you will. I will too. Chin up. :)
This was a very nice and heartfelt video but the plugs to socials totally caught me off guard at the end 🤣
Thank you so much for this video, I need to show this to my brother who is going through depression. He regularly has suicidal thoughts and I get so scared that he's going to do something and that I'm never going to see him again. hopefully this'll help him. I really hope you're ok. I've been subscribed to you for a while and you're one of the very few film reviewers/youtubers that I truly respect. I hope things get a lot better for you. look after yourself.
Thank you. Yes, please. Anything to help him feel less alone and less hopeless. People like him are precisely who I am trying to help.
Did he make it?
There is a great Tim Buckley album called Happy Sad. Both he & his son Jeff died before 30. What talents they were.
Damn. This is how I feel about two weeks after withdrawals. So, I've had a lot of addiction issues in my life. I recently came to the conclusion (and this is my own experience) that my own disease isn't really addiction. Addiction is just this huge symptom. The real disease is my belief that I have no real worth. I mean, if people really believed they were worth something, like really deep down they knew they were unconditionally loved by someone other than their mother, and they knew their place in the world, why would they constantly try to destroy themselves? Rhetorical question.
I understand that the reasons people use is varied, and this is my own personal experience... I'm talking about my own demons here. My real disease is this cloud that can just settle over me when I let my guard down. The older I get, the harder it is to find my way out of it. And after a few weeks of feeling like I'm just a piece of shit, and listening to that voice in my head constantly tell me I suck... I'll do almost anything to feel something else and to mute that voice any way I can--which is where the vicious cycle always starts for me. Sadness and loneliness are relentless assholes. If I didn't have a great family (mother and father, siblings, grandparents) I'd be well and truly screwed. The 'Happiness is better than sadness' line is way more profound than it sounds.
Josh
Yes; but you are on your way because you by understanding that addiction is simply a symptom - you are almost there.
You have to value yourself first, and understand it is okay to put oneself first.
Otherwise, people are take, take, take.
This value of other people is indelible, so you simply work with it and avoid it.
I highly recommend first replacing addiction with hard exercise and a proper diet.
Good luck.
I didn't realize how tough you had it. I'm sorry to hear all of this and I felt similar things as a kid. Thanks for this video, this will help a lot of ppl and it brought me back to a time when I definitely would have needed it.
Like Bo Burnham said, "I hope you're happy." MAKE HAPPY
Every one has it tough
A message from the heart....thats been edited to hell, prob took 10000 takes, super disingenuous or.....a meta joke?. I duno, yes i duno absolutely
I don't want to be the debbie downer here but what about schizophrenic lonely homeless people? I get the sense that literally no one cares for them.
True, so true. There are tons of people that are loved by literally no one at all.
Thanks for this. Needed this
THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU ARE NOT ALONE EITHER.
Whatever the cicumstance, good on you for using your space to eloquently express and share this AND for leaving this up for the last 7 years.
@@KrisBryant99 I just edited my post. To be honest, I was being a bit silly and chivalrous and it was just unnecessary. I did want to leave up that I think this is a very appreciated and beneficially vulnerable video and it adds to her record of directness.
Thank you
Wow. Even though this is from 4 years ago, I empathize with this deeply. This was crucial for me right now. For solidarity.
How are you coping?
This level of emotional intelligence is worth you being proud of, and for others directly involved in your life to be proud of your spiritual maturity.
Do you have a job? Do you have friends? Did you have a partner? Do you have a sexual life? You can get all of that. You are intelligent, good looking, and likeable. I've got none of that. My whole life has been destroyed by diseases: Borderline, OCD, Panic. Battling with these for 30 years now. When my dad died last year, totally unexpected, I realized, that's it. My life is done. I'm done. It was not worth it. I had dreams and wanted to love and live. But I couldn't make it happen.
What a moving story you tell here: very authentic. By the way I love your channel and reviews, so interesting and intelligent. Very warm greetings from Holland.
I don't know if you'll even see my comment, because this video was given five years old. but still i wanna tell you.
I tried to find Fight Club Movie Reviews, and then i saw your Fight Club Review video and I watched many videos of yours and your videos were very good, but I felt nothing and when I saw this video I cried a lot within two minutes.😢
I'm 21 years old and I never use drugs but i understand how you feeling and your pain.
You may ask me how you can understand my feelings at only 21 years old..
please trust me I can understand your pain. I have faced so many problems throughout in my life. i worked so hard and i never hurt anyone in my life and I try to help people every day, but still everyone hurts me, my friends bullied me and my family bullied me and I can't tell you what people did to me It was horrible. And now I have no friends, no family, i have no one to share my pain. Sometimes I cry a lot in my room alone. Sometimes I feel like, feel like, I don’t know how to describe how much pain i feels in my heart 😔
I saw myself in you while watching this video. I hope you are doing well. and I feel so proud to have subscribed to your channel.💕
I love you so much and Stay Safe ❤❤❤
You were very brave to put yourself out there like this, and even though I've only just stumbled across this channel, I can firmly say that you've touched me very sincerely with your words. As someone who is constantly in contention with their own feelings, I am happy to know that others like you can empathize and have the courage to spread messages of love and kindness like this - even for an audience dedicated mostly towards film. Wishing you love and merriment from the UK! :)
What's beautiful about this particular post is how it so bravely deconstructs the myth of competency. From your other videos it's clear that you value clarity and having your shit together. Like many others commenting here I only recently discovered your channel, and deeply admire the content. I have a degree in film and feel like I'm listening to someone worth spending my time on, which is rare these days. It's generally thought that people who are so articulate and informed are sort of super human in their life-powers, that they don't have to navigate the darker realms of being, simply because they're so damn smart and together. But nothing could be further from the truth .In fact possessing keen intelligence---and you're clearly a very bright, soulful human---is no guarantee of an easy path through life. Often times it's quite the opposite, as the more perceptive you are the more you see, hence the more you have to process and subsequently make peace with. The business of seeing with an unflinching gaze at such a high level is saint work, to be sure. The Wim Wenders documentary Salt of the Earth examines the life of fine art photographer Sebestiao Salgado, and touches on this notion in a really beautiful way. I'm not a big fan of Wenders, but you may want to review that film. I cried like a fucking baby at the end of it---tears of redemption, not sorrow. Wishing you similar tears.
Thank you for your beautiful words.
Not depressed myself, but opening yourself up in this way for the benefit of those who are, was a very kind thing to do.
I realize it's a really cynic thing to say but for some people, there is no one person that loves you and life aint a rollercoaster but just a monotonous wading across a swamp of shit. and all we can do is find distractions from it, movies, books, the internet. not saying it's not my fault, judt observing a fact
Subscribed. Not because of your awesome taste in movies, but because this video makes it oh so much easier to relate to you on a personal level.
You're not just some perfect beautiful woman, you have problems like the rest of us. Real problems. And you're taking a big step in an effort to deal with them.
Much props, and your words resonate so much with me as well.
Thank you! :)
Are you doing better now than when you made this video?
Do you believe that psychedelics can actually help with depression? If so, which ones?
I've seen recent studies saying that Psilocybin can actually cure depression/depersonalization. DMT from what I've read would probably be a litttleee bit too strong to possibly cure any ailments.
htownallday281 After I made this video, things got a lot worse. But I was lucky and I found help. Now, I feel like I'm on a serious road to recovery. It just took a close call to finally get that sense knocked into me.
I do believe that psychedelics can absolutely help with depression as long as they are taken seriously and you don't abuse it. Every psychedelic I've ever taken has opened my mind in some way. You just have to be careful. These kinds of medicines can be wonderful for your own psychological benefits and peace of mind, but they can also make the hard parts of life far more intense. So, you just have to be careful as I've said. I had very bad anxiety for years until I did DMT. It vanished from that day forward and I haven't ever had it again.
It just depends on how open you are to facing your own mind and conquering those demons. I get that it's not for everyone, but I encourage all to be open minded about these things. Yes, psilocybin has incredible benefits. That's probably a really good one to start out with since it's lighter than some of the more heavy hitters out there.
Thank you so much for this. Having a rough year and this REALLY helped. You're awesome.
I hope it got better
Psychedelics can truly change a person's life for the better, they're such a beautiful part of the human experience :)
When used sparingly.
I believe they simply remove the denial we created.
I know this video is a bit older, but I just wanted to say you're doing great work on this channel and what you do matters. You've earned a subscriber in me and I look forward to your insightful and honest videos in the future. Keep on keepin' on. :)
Sometimes one feels like peace of mind, joy, levity, love, friendship, some or all of the above are simply things one is not cut out for, like one isn't wired for. As if one has a part missing that inhibits from participating in the good side of life. Like only the most painful thoughts seem like the most real and anything that challenges that perception is suspect. I wish I had a punchline or a moral for this...
You re thoughts and feelings are beautiful. Saying all of this and wishing to help others. Beautiful.
Truth is, the vast majority of 9 to 5 occupations out there are unnecessary and counterproductive to public health and society. Not your occupation though. Your job provides such meaning, purpose, and worth
Damn, really strong video. Just found your channel through your "The Forbidden Room" review, love all the reviews on here, especially since there not like reviewers that mainly do recent movies. Keep up the good work.
Reality is not always happy. In other news, water is wet and Antifa are fascists.
Glad I saw this video iv been battling depression for a long time and just recently I lost 3 of my family members this year and it's been a rough year I feel alone sometimes and that people think I'm a weirdo cuz I'm super nice to everyone and my depression starts to kick in and I get sad and this virus is not helping at all but I hope you are doing well and that you are staying safe 🙂🙏
One thing I will never understand is recreational drug use. No offense to those that do. Had many an opportunity to partake, hung out with the wrong crowd a few times & been good friends with those that do. When they ask me why I won't, I'm not even being cheeky I honestly reply why would you? For me the taking of a substance for an experience that is temporary & artificial seems useless to me. I want to experience my reality pure & uninfluenced by anything else. I hate the idea of an external force exerting control on me. I don't want coffee making me stay up if I'm sleepy. If I'm sleepy I want to be sleepy. If I'm depressed I rather feel what I am & not some artificial happiness put on me. Obviously I draw the line at critical surgery, I'd break it for something like that.
Powerful video. I'm glad I stumbled upon your channel. I enjoy the film reviews.
i have a son about your age so it hurts me to see you like this. I know this was months ago but i certainly hope you feel better. Not knowing if this is just depression or if there is a problem and not knowing the issue (and I don't expect you to divulge your personal problem on the social media) I will say, yes, as you said, appreciate those who love you and know they are out there. Also stay away from toxic people because you end up hurt. Easier said than done when the toxic person is someone you love but we just do the best you can. keep busy. i read once that we are like bicycles, you move forward and you're fine. stay in one spot and you fall over. Anyway, stay strong, sending hugs your way.
Excellent advice. Things got pretty bad after that video. But I've been working really hard on some of my issues in life and I'm doing much better. Obviously I still have some things I'm trying to work through, but I am much healthier mentally and physically than I was then. Thank you for the support. :)
You're welcome. glad you're working through it. As much as you remember those who love you, please remember those you love and let them know. they may need it more than you realize. I seem to be the Yoda in my family but even Yodas need some TLC too. anyway, stay strong, hope whatever issues you have in your life settle down quickly. Namaste
Thanks for sharing ........if I can find something to love that's my goal
Its been years, I still come back to this video so I don't feel so alone when I need it. It helps. Thank you so much.
Don’t burn yourself out. This channel should be fun. If it turns into work, you will hate it.
Tonight I watched Mulholland Drive again, which is one of my all time favorite films. After that I went online to check some reviews and I stumbled upon your channel and work. After watching your Mulholland Drive review, which I thought was really insightful and awesome, I came here. I just need to share with you that I think you are very brave. You really touched me with your kindness, your intelligence and honesty and I will remember this video and show it to the people I love. I subscribed right away and can't wait to check all your reviews. Of course, needless to say, hang in there! But you have a great force, a strength. You will cope and even help others. I am absolutely certain of that!! Love and piece from Amsterdam :)
Thank you so much. I appreciate your words more than you may ever know. :)
"Walked out this morning Don't believe what I saw. Hundred million bottles all washed up on the shore. It seems I'm not alone at being alone. Hundred million castaways looking for a home. " You are a beautiful lady and there are millions of US sad souls out there. Remember We are loved and important.
This is a really old video and you're probably doing great now (at least I hope you are), but as someone who has suffered from depression for the bulk of my adult life and am currently going through a really bad spell, I just wanted to say thank you for making this. I have no idea why this video showed up in my recommendations today, but the fact that it did very well may have saved my life. The funny thing is I give advice like this to other depressed people all the time, but I can never heed and practice my own words. There's something therapeutic about hearing it directed toward me from someone else. Keep fighting the good fight.
What is your diet and exercise regimen?
I don't know if you'll even see my comment, because this video was given five years old. but still i wanna tell you.
I tried to find Fight Club Movie Reviews, and then i saw your Fight Club Review video and I watched many videos of yours and your videos were very good, but I felt nothing and when I saw this video I cried a lot within two minutes.😢
I'm 21 years old and I never use drugs but i understand how you feeling and your pain.
You may ask me how you can understand my feelings at only 21 years old..
please trust me I can understand your pain. I have faced so many problems throughout in my life. i worked so hard and i never hurt anyone in my life and I try to help people every day, but still everyone hurts me, my friends bullied me and my family bullied me and I can't tell you what people did to me It was horrible. And now I have no friends, no family, i have no one to share my pain. Sometimes I cry a lot in my room alone. Sometimes I feel like, feel like, I don’t know how to describe how much pain i feels in my heart 😔
I saw myself in you while watching this video. I hope you are doing well. and I feel so proud to have subscribed to your channel.
stay safe and be happy ❤❤❤
I struggle with depression from time to time; my last fall was last year for many reasons. While things are much better now, I won't deny that things still can get bumpy from time to time. Being an introvert, working as an English teacher in a foreign country like Japan is not easy. But pursuing my creativity on the side as a writer and an artist has been one of the only things helping me get by besides going to the gym, movies, and my family. I am glad I stumbled onto this video. Much thanks to you for the motivation.
God I wish I could click more times the like botton
This is a fantastic video, even though Im not felling bad at the moment, I have had fellings of absolutely everything you said
Very greatfull of stumbling to your channel, thank you very much,,,
Happiness must never be external m.
Omg, that part where you started getting all emotional... Like, I wanted to hug you so bad! There is so much bravery in this video and I'm really happy that you made it, especially for the ones who need it most. I believe that talking about these heavy things can actually make stuff better for everyone. That's why I'm so pro-therapist and anti social media, in the Way that I disagree with the fact that we all have to constantly pretend that we're all happy and everything is going fine. Initially I was hoping for another movie review but looking back I'm really glad you made this video instead.
I have no social media because I believe it is poison
I found your channel a long long time back and when you posted this in 2016 it helped me a lot. Here I am, 5 years later, and back to feeling the same shitty feelings, and this helped me again. Thanks for being there, wherever you are.
Perhaps the most heartfelt thing I've found on TH-cam. It spoke to my soul. Thank you for posting it.
disagree with your poor grasp of the multi dimensions. making theological statements from a drug trip is just totally blonde
hahahahahaha
we love you! do not ever give in to the dark forces of life. You are a beacon of light!
Thank you for recording and posting this! It took courage to do so. Inspiring to so many. Respect. Remember you are valuable, precious and loved. You are welcome to write to me anytime if you like. I will listen.
A profoundly beautiful video Maggie, I hope it was a form of catharsis for you.
God allows evil because He can bring good out of it. Prayer and grace in the Catholic Church can help you and everyone Maggie. God can help and is the best and only help, but we have to seek and find Him to get that help. Your drug trip put you in the void, probably like Hell where God isn't. Everything that you realised was good to have, out of the void, is actually thanks to God. God is spirit and has created everything good and preserves all the good things He's created- including us- but sometimes in desperation we look for escapes from His goodness because sometimes things suck, but the solution is not escaping but acknowledging how dependant we are on God's life. So in these hard times- and I struggle to do this but should- we should call on God to help us, to give us guidance on what to do to get out of our ruts, and the grace to be able to do it- also to give us hope and show us what to strive for realistically- where we can flourish. God bless you Maggie- life is hard- but God allows hard times to make us realise that we should change and not think that we can be independent and flourish, because we can not even live without God, so if we are truthful with ourselves we will give God thanks and ask for help which is what God wants- us to acknowledge Him and to work with Him, rather than ignore Him- who is our spiritual supernatural Father- our Creator and Preserver, who can give us life to the full and joy, which is natural. God bless.
This hurt me Nd helped me
Thank You for sharing this, and soooo glad you came out of this period for the better. I can not really identify with your journey but appreciate your giving a new perspective for us to consider. Plus we now get all these amazing reviews and commentary that you have shared with us. Love to you- you deserve it and have earned it and hopefully accept it.
Do whats good for you and don't feel any pressure to do anything you don't feel like doing. This is your youtube channel and its full of fans that will understand.
Edit: I didn't have time to watch all of it before but I watched it now and some of it resonated deeply with me. I have had down parts and feel it for a while but fortunately I do feel a lot of comfort in thinking and planning about how to make the right changes. I really hope the best for you and this was very hard to watch.
Maggie .. you are incredibly wise for one so young .. I hope you are feeling a lot better now ... still enjoying your reviews immensely
I love your videos and really appreciate this wonderful message.
As a Wicked fan. Absolutely zero chance it gets director. This film looks cheap. I wouldn't be surprised if the movie flops hard, especially with how embarrassed the marketing is about it being 2 parts and how it keeps skying away from the fact its a musical
ive drank mushrooms . probably not as intense as dmt. but it changed my life. i used to depressed for years. but after that experience with a fox in my room talking to me. my life changed for the better. its crazy . but it changed my life
Your words were very comforting, Maggie. Thank you for sharing them! I've always thought of you as a strong woman and this is just another reason as to why I admire you as a person.
Thank you so much, Cindy. I admire you so much as well. :)
Creating this video was brave. Not deleting it for this long even though people may judge you takes an extremely strong character. Thanks n all the best man
Absolutely beautiful video and message and I could not agree more with you. We have to allow ourselves to be sad during the bad times in order to move forward and grow - I learned this through my own experiences and I can definitely confirm that things do get better, if you allow them to.
For me, it was getting things down to the basics, such as focusing on my health and finances.
A call to take your hand
For I'm at one with the dark
How dare you come for me
And again you must die
So ancient curse known to me
Behold the powers I unleash
Upon your throne
Know my words, feel my hate descend
Lord of light
I will swarm against you now
Gods perverse
Wickeds at my side
Misery
Thorns to lance your every word
Nazarene
Now I crown you king in pain
SUFFER
Wow. WOW. That was powerful and beautiful and brave. Thank you SO much for posting this! Yours is a voice that needs to be heard. And boy do I ever get you just as you get those you were directing your message toward. I was very moved by your words and by your naked, unashamed emotion. The level of honest feeling you showed in your video is something in increasingly short supply in our increasingly shallow culture and it was incredibly refreshing to experience. Many things you related happen to parallel my own journey and left me feeling elated and hopeful. You're obviously an extraordinary young woman, fully embracing of your flaws as well as your many attributes. But, above all, you are clearly a caring and compassionate being and I bless you. Sending you love and many virtual hugs!