As a former orthodox hassidic rabbi, I want to clarify that everything that Beatrice shared is absolutely and literally the way it is done in the hassidic communities - there's no exaggerations. Talmudic "logic" has led to obsurd conclusions that simply blow the mind of any thinking person. Thank you, Beatrice, for this third part. I was fascinated to learn some of the extreme customs practiced in your community that in my former community (Chabad) is less extreme. Thank you, CTC, for bringing this powerful and important voice and her story to the world!
The top Rabbis of the generation are able to apply Talmudic logic to how the current generation should behave, not the typical individual. If you don't have respect for Talmudic logic and the sages' wisdom, then you never believed in Orthodox/Chasidic Judaism. Did you ever believe in the Divine wisdom of the Torah, and do you still follow any Commandments as a former Rabbi?
I would like to believe that some of the rabbis are kind to their wives and children and council the men not to be so mean? The traditions and the strictness one thing but why be so mean?
@rhondasihocky7212 Almost all the Chabad Rabbis I have observed work as a team with their wives and have happy marriages despite raising many children and being very busy.
Yes!!! I'm in a group where a woman asked how/if one should approach a woman deemed dressed "inappropriately" in front of a rabbi. I was like... you don't? May the rabbi be uncomfortable? Maybe. But guess what... he's a fully grown man out and about in the world. He doesn't need to be protected 😅
Shelise, you are such a talented interviewer. Thank you for bringing these stories to us. My heart goes out to Beatrice and I am so inspired by her strength.
Honestly as a complete outsider to religion, there is something deeply fetishistic over this obsession with women's bodies. The menstrual thing, the foot thing... This is all so weird to me!
The unspoken sadness is that you have pushed away any thoughts of not being loved. By the time you awaken, those youthful years of romance and growing up together playfully are passed. Beatrice is a beautiful woman. I wish her a blessed future.
@@dkk-q4q is there anyone debunking her? I would like to listen. I know the Apostate Prophet is very biased and he was interviewed on this show, so I know it can happen
This was such a good episode. As a secular Jewish person, I have so many curiosities about the Ultra Orthodox. This gave me such a profound insight especially as a woman, thank you Beatrice and Shalise!
There are many ways to get acquainted. This is only one of them. There are different approaches, different types of communities. Many observant people have a very healthy and positive experience.
This rule of husband and wife not being able to even touch hands during the time of month seems like it really discourages loving and supportive relationships between spouses. That is so very sad. I was so shocked to hear that you cant even hand your baby for your husband to hold after giving birth. That should be such a beautiful and special time for both parents.
Just because you don't understand a culture doesn't mean it... discourages loving and supportive relationship. It actually keeps the intimacy alive due to the longing of not being able to touch for 2 weeks. Every culture does things differently. This is a normal Jewish practice
@@Elliekra it’s normal ORTHODOX Jewish practice and Orthodox Jews are a small percentage of Jews overall. The vast majority of Jews don’t know about any of these rules.
Some frum men are not emotionally supportive and the niddah makes things much worse. It is horrible to have required sex with someone who has basically ignored you for two weeks or risk being classified as moredet. Halacha tahatas mishmacha enables abusive relationships. I am glad that is not the case for you, but it is the reality for many financially dependent wives who are mothers of young babies and children. @@Elliekra
Beatrice is incredible! I love that she is part of those who left the community and have accomplished great things. She is proof that not everyone who leaves ends up destitute or dishonorable.
Thank you Beatrice for being so open with the archaic expectations women experience in 2024! Shocking the misogyny that remains in the western world in this day and age. You are an amazingly strong women x
There are people who are halachly infertile: they ovulate before the 7 clean days are up. They have to get permission from a rabbi to move mikvah day up.
Thank you, Beatrice, for voicing your vulnerabilities and truth. May your speaking opportunities reach women who need to know they can leave a high control marriage AND start a new life of joy.❤
Beatrice I value your choosing to speak out here. My mother chose to join a Chabad community and is attempting to become Orthodox and nothing the family has tried will stop her. At the very least listening to you reassures me I’m not alarmist to be deeply concerned for this extreme change in her belief and behavior in the last two years
I adore every guest shelise has on here, but Beatrice you are truly my favorite so far. I was raised Christian but went to high school with a close to 60% reformed or modern Orthodox Jewish student body and gained a deep appreciation for Jewish culture. You are such a lovely beacon of positivity and embody pure self-confidence and self-determination on top of being such a wonderfully articulate public speaker. It is such an underrated skill to be able to get interviewed off the cuff like this and your responses are beyond intelligent and thoughtful.
In high control and insular communities like the one I was raised in you don’t have access to outside information and you’re brainwashed into all this at a young age so you don’t really have an opportunity to explore and think for yourself
Intention doesn't matter if it does harm. A man in Iran or Saudi Arabia may say that women covering from head to toe and not being allowed outside of the home without a male family member is for the woman's protection. But in practice it increases the danger the woman is in and severely restricts her freedom. What would protect them is holding the men who attack them accountable instead of blaming the woman. In the case of period rules there are still some places that force women to live in basically a shack (I forget if it's rural India or Pakistan) and there's a pretty high death rate of carbon dioxide poisoning in the winter from trying to heat them. The modesty standards in fundamentalist communities in the United States are supposedly to protect women but it places all responsibility and blame on them if something happens. Intent goes out the window when the action does harm.
Thanks so much for platforming this important interview. And thanks to Beatrice - it's a breath of fresh air to hear a knowledgeable Gateshead educated ex-chasid take on this issue. And very courageous. As a Hasidic man I can tell you that the period rules terribly affect men too, not to take away fron the impact it has on women obviously.
I wonder about households that can't afford two sinks, two fridges two separate beds for mom and dad. When we were young, we were lucky to have one of each!
A) separate refrigerators are not required B) a separate sink rack can be used when washing meat or dairy dishes. C) not all couples use separate beds. If they do, the cost is negligible of two full versus one king.
@@raylew311all couples use 2 separate beds when they need them so need 2 separate in the bedroom. 2 sinks most didnt always have. Pple always managed without it np. Today most builders automatically build with 2 sinks (some 2 dishwashers.....but def not all).
@@michellelansky4490 some do, I have seen a Lubavitch family in Ann Arbor with two separate kitchens, but the home is 4000 square feet and this is far from typical.
As someone who left the “modern orthodox” community at the age of 18 or 19, I can’t get enough of these videos. For me it’s a long time ago and I’ve mostly reprogrammed myself but family ties are still really difficult and always will be.
@@CultstoConsciousness I've been watching your YT for a while am also pleased that you are bringing on so many from the OTD (off the derech) community. I have a number of friends who are ex-Mo. The theology we left was different but the experience of being in and leaving high control religious communities is a very powerful shared touchstone.
I can’t imagine having just had your first child born premature and in the NICU (my first was a NICU preemie too) and your partner’s concern is your SOCKS?? Not his baby’s wellbeing, not his wife’s physical and emotional recovery, but whether her ankles are sufficiently covered?
In her interview she says she miscarried he didn't want to call the ambulance... but this is not because of what "thr law" says, quite the opposite as saving a life comes first. It was rather out of how controlling he was (as seen by pestering her about her hair) so that she ended up shaving just to avoid confrontation.
He was taught to disregard this as she was female and could not be touched at all during this niddah. Still, as a human being he should have and only been ritually impur, needing a ,24 hrs and a mikveh to be kosher or pure for community worship again!!!!
I loved her story and have to listen to part 2 now. But like, when Shelise said "...yeah, mother of 10 here...." my jaw went THROUGH the floor, i caught flies, i nearly died from misbelief.... WOMAN, WHAT? WHERE! You are amazing
Every time you do an episode about Orthodox Judaism I realize how lucky I am to have had a conservative Jewish upbringing (denomination, not political leaning). It's a minor miracle I went to a school that was pretty progressive in a lot of ways. My heart aches for my Orthodox/Chasidic sisters and brothers. I almost wonder if my school was a fluke and there are more coercive control groups within Judaism than I think.
Thank you so much, Beatrice, for sharing your journey with us!!! You are sooo beautiful and strong 💪🏼. So glad to hear that you’re a public speaker, sharing your knowledge with others so that they, too, can find healing, awareness, and true individual sovereignty❣️ Shelise’s mission statement❤❤❤
Thank you for providing frank honest discussion with no euphemism s. It's about time women could speak freely and comfortably about their bodies. I would have loved to have heard this when I was younger! Keep being awesome women and role models ✨💙✨
Thank you again, Beatrice, for speaking up. I can attest that all Beatrice said is true and not exaggerated. While you're in the community, they paint this picture of the beauty of this all, so most women will feel very empowered by these rules. They make you feel special for having the ability to earn merit in the world to come, etc
Beatrice talking about the policing of women's bodies makes me so sad. I am originally Catholic. The societal control of women and their bodies is a major reason why I'm now not following any religion.
Beatrice you are a bright light in the darkness shining a light on ortodox womens hardship and misery. This sort of purity culture is crippling. Wonder how ortodox jewish men would manage if they were faced with simmilar set of rules every day.
Words fail. Wow. I'm definitely enjoying this third interview, but my brain hurts, and my stomach is queezy. Thank you, Beatrice for being so transparent and sharing your story. I hope you feel better, Shelise! Enjoy your trip.
Just want to commend you on your platform, as you cover such interesting and extremely diverse topics, like the girls from Saudi Arabia and her escape from Islam and S. Arabia to London and the other to USA. And these orthodox Jewish issues, which too are extreme and degrading, and their purity laws. Also a religious Jewish Lady, whether she wants sex or not she has to make herself available for her husbands pleasure. Again, you are giving voice to a vast array of people who are subjected to the most humiliating practices and are not master of their ship in this modern era where much has evolved, though these women are living in the dark ages. Your field of work is brilliant and all inclusive. Thank you so much.
Only bec you're ignorant of what they are. If they were properly explained wouldn't at all be misogynistic. She's very twisted and bitter about her own life so is painting a story of lies and misinformation about everyone else. If youd ask 1000 observant women, you'd get 990 of them telling you it's their most cherished mitzvah and cherished night. Just research on a website that is NOT the TH-cam version of the Jerry Springer show.
@@michellelansky4490 Yes, brainwashing works well on humans and there are many examples of it that are highlighted on this channel. You can definitely make people believe that suffering is really their blessing.
@@michellelansky4490 It is not true that most chasidic women are happy in their marriages; They may love their families, their social status, and even their husbands, but abusive is normalized and taharas hamishpacha is used to coercively control chasidic women. There is always the threat of being called moredet, and all of the rabbis will blame the woman if she stands up to an abusive husband. This is true in many chasidic sects. Denying reality doesn't change it.
Thank you Beatrice for sharing your experiences. I watch a couple of Jewish vloggers. Until now I never realized the level of control over women. It is so sad.
Ahh darn, I missed the live! I wanted to ask Beatrice why the women would not speak to secular women. I lived by her community (all 3 she mentioned btw) and any time I would hold a door for a mom pushing a stroller, or anything like that, they would act like I didn't exist. Like not even acknowledge my presence. Why???
@@beatriceweber1 By the way, I used to be married to an Egyptian (I grew up in the US) and when he told me he was taught that if a woman's menstrual fluid touched a man, he would get sick. I laughed out loud at him and he understood immediately that it was not true.
@@beatriceweber1thanks for clarifying. I always wondered the same! I used to live just off Bathurst north of Ranee in an Orthodox neighbourhood and when I would pass women walking toward me on the same side of the street, I would always say hello and they would be looking at me the entire time before actually passing me so it was unexpected that they would say nothing back, whereas the men would ALWAYS return the greeting or sometimes even initiate it, even though I always knew to keep the eye contact to those two seconds it took to say say hello 🤦🏻♀️
Thank you for providing even more important info about this culture. I had no idea there was so much regulation and shame going on. I hope that anyone struggling with this level of control can find peace and freedom to do what their heart desires! Thank you so much for sharing ❤️ 💕 💗 hope you find all the happiness!
It just made me widen my eyes.n yes there is a cultural sect in my country where they treat their women the same way that has been told in the video. I always wondered where those traditions came from.it is traumatic to be a part of such communities.
You are only perceiving this the way you are bec she's deliberately taking what must have been a hard marriage for her (I dunno maybe her husband was a creep.......or maybe she's one ......we really don't have the info to determine that) and applying it to others. 95% of women look forward to their mikvah night with baited breath and LOVE this mitzvah as their favorite. Her presentation of the facts and of the reasons/outlook are totally skewered and ignorant. If it wouldn't be so sad it would be hysterical. This mitzvah cherishes women and has been spoken positively of by doctors for generations. Makes intimacy special, makes marriages worked on. I would assume the only religion in the world that REQUIRES men to give sexual pleasure to their wives as part of the marriage contract and never the reverse.
What I don't understand is the woman is so unpure that she can't touch or hand over her baby... But she's expected to bring a dirty vagina cloth and/or panties to the Rabbi for him to inspect? How is this clean! Could it possibly cause disease transmission? It sounds almost fetishy to me.
I absolutely love this series with Beatrice. I actually taught at a Jewish school with a wife range of Jewish beliefs. I actually married a Jew so we do mostly Jewish holidays but i grew up Catholic so we still do Christmas for my family. I knew some of this stuff but not all of it. I'm so glad she was willing to be so open with us on this.
Congratulations on your freedom! You are brave and beautiful!!!!!! It is shocking how similiar many high control religions are, especially about women's heads and hair.
Beatrice is an amazing woman! She left her controlling husband and community with 10 children. I pray that at least some of her older children will reunite with her. No doubt she’s being slandered in the community. Thank you Beatrice!!! Thanks for your courage!
Not sure what you're talking about. Most women treasure the mitzvah of mikvah and miss it tremendously when aged out of it. It is the only method to keep sexual intimacy fresh, keep sexual health monitored (as any Dr with attest to as in cancers, etc), keep non sexual communication at its prime, and give the woman a guaranteed spa night out for herself.
Beatrice Thank You so much for sharing your story. I would love to see you on CTC more and get a deep dive on all aspects of your life, customs of the religion and community you were a part of. I respectfully appreciate you.
Wow.🤯 to never have seen your mother’s feet is such a mind blowing concept. I could absolutely identify my mother by her feet if I needed to, and it feels strange to even imagine not recognizing that detail of her person. I would recognize her hands or her feet even if they weren’t attached to her. That’s a creepy thing to consider… but it’s true. I have a recurring dream where I see my mother’s feet hanging off of a bed, the rest of her body is covered, but I recognize it’s her because of her feet. In the dream when I pull the cover back it is her body, but my face. I’m aware of this because in the dream I observe all of this imagery through a full length mirror next to the bed, it’s such a strange dream, but even stranger now that I consider that many people probably couldn’t identify their mother by her feet. I’m not a freak. I swear it. 😂
Your not! My mom's right foot the toe next to her pinky toe is tiny and kind of sits on top of the other. I'd be able to recognize them in an instant! Her hands too bc mine are crooked just like hers ❤
Cant imagine what women go thru during pre menopause. I was so irregular, would bleed for weeks at a time. After a wo man cant have kids anymore, do couples still have sex?
It makes me so sad to hear these stories . As a Jewish women I TG never had these experiences , and have no anger or religious trauma . I totally understand the need to break free, especially each of us has the right to our own spiritual journey . These interviews are the best I have heard in years and years .
@17:01, I'm glad you mentioned the fertility/ovulation thing! I legit was just asking my sister about this earlier in the week because it sounded like ovulation tracking, but I wasn't sure! IDK, the fact that these women typiclaly have children so quickly after being married, and then have so many back to back after the first, leads me to believe the latent function/ dysfunction of these puirty standards is fertility-driven.
This was my first thought and so glad we have a 3rd interview w/lovely Bea! I wish I was here to ask about sex during pregnancy? I imagine women would prefer to be pregnant just to not have to shove a dry cloth up and yank it out 14x after your cycle. 😢
I would have been deemed infertile in this environment. I ovulate between days 7-10 of my cycle. Always have, so would literally have never had a child. I do wonder how many women that happens to in this culture. How sad. 😢
Some women don't bleed for 7 days either. When I was younger, mine was so weird, I'd be on for 4 or 5 days, skip a day and then have one last day. Does it have to be 14 days or just 7 after you stop bleeding?
I think that it's like 10% of ultra Orthodox women suffer from "halachik infertility" it's called. There are some ways to solve it now with the hormones or artificial insemination. The modern Orthodox women now are going by the original rules in those cases - just the 7 days of menses as in the Torah.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story. I would like to hear more about dietary rules and how those intersect with purity rules. Again, thanks you so very very much.
Beatrice, you are an amazing person. I admire you so much and I'm sure all your children do, too, in their way. Thank you for speaking up. I'm from Poland and this reaity is completely unknown to me, but I'm fascinated by it, by women like you. I'm sure your message is impacting a lot of women.
Yeah….the man made rules. This is one reason Jesus literally called the scribes and Pharisees out on all these rules that made a HUGE yolk of shame and burdens … But it’s consistent for all cults and high demands…
Thank you very much 🙏 It was very interesting to hear and it gives a feeling of togetherness (I also left the religion) and I am happy about this podcast prolonging the work you do There are endless laws in religion, laws that are unnatural, maybe once it was appropriate, not sure either, the time will come to change these laws, it is good to abolish all religions/sects with the help of information and knowledge. And with the help of podcasts like yours
And this is why the movie: The Village by M. Night Shamalan, it's still my absolute favorite movie. Not only does it show what we have all been experiencing for centuries and are now becoming aware of; all the lies we have been taught. But that we don't know any different because we were born into it.
Thank you very much for sharing I’ve seen several of your videos Beatrice! ❤I’m so immensely sorry to hear about your children parents and family. I can’t imagine what’s that like. You’re a survivor My heart ♥️ really goes out to you. You have a lot of strength and perseverance. Which college did you go to? What was your major? Was raised Christian but family was very very liberal Christian not a lot of rule following. My mom taught me to always earn money and to go to college she stressed the importance of only depending on yourself. I’m spiritual I mediate now. What are your spiritual practices like now if you don’t mind me asking? I’m curious. Do you find your life is better now? What have you been up to? What do you enjoy now? Do you find a lot more freedom in your new life? I love listening to you it’s so interesting. You have such pretty hair and outfits. I really wish mine curled that way. But my hairs stick straight Im a female. Sending you my best😊♥️♥️♥️. L
How gullible can you be. You're trusting a women who has nothing better to do than to paint her personal picture as the picture of most others. THINK! Who but trash would want to vomit their personal problems out to the Jerry Springer show. Her explanations are skewered and many of them straight out lies. If you don't know otherwise, WHY is she so amazing? She could be selling you a 'bill 'o goods' and you'd still say she's amazing?????? ever hear a used car salesman not ham it up for the sale.
Sounds like Handmaid Tales stories! They are going by the craziness in the old testament when they did not understand blood back then! My word what a cult this is!
I agree about the old testament and the not understanding blood. I completely understand some of these customs were needed many years past. The washing of hands before eating the bread. The same w/circumcisions, we did them bc of a lack of ability to clean. Now, we have become so brainwashed to think a man's natural body part is gross or unclean. If God didn't want men to have foreskin, he wouldn't have put it there. Probably an unpopular opinion but I see circumcisions as genital mutilation to newborns and traumatizing them from birth. We've had indoor plumbing in 1st worlds for 100 years now. We talk about female genital mutilation but what about our baby boys?
As a former orthodox hassidic rabbi, I want to clarify that everything that Beatrice shared is absolutely and literally the way it is done in the hassidic communities - there's no exaggerations. Talmudic "logic" has led to obsurd conclusions that simply blow the mind of any thinking person. Thank you, Beatrice, for this third part. I was fascinated to learn some of the extreme customs practiced in your community that in my former community (Chabad) is less extreme. Thank you, CTC, for bringing this powerful and important voice and her story to the world!
The top Rabbis of the generation are able to apply Talmudic logic to how the current generation should behave, not the typical individual. If you don't have respect for Talmudic logic and the sages' wisdom, then you never believed in Orthodox/Chasidic Judaism. Did you ever believe in the Divine wisdom of the Torah, and do you still follow any Commandments as a former Rabbi?
100% agree with you and thank you for validating Beatrice and her story.
You should really go on this channel
Your story sounds fascinating I've never heard of a ex orthodox rabbi
I would like to believe that some of the rabbis are kind to their wives and children and council the men not to be so mean? The traditions and the strictness one thing but why be so mean?
@rhondasihocky7212 Almost all the Chabad Rabbis I have observed work as a team with their wives and have happy marriages despite raising many children and being very busy.
I am sick of women being held accountable for men not controlling their instincts. Enough!
🎯
Yes!
Yes!!! I'm in a group where a woman asked how/if one should approach a woman deemed dressed "inappropriately" in front of a rabbi. I was like... you don't? May the rabbi be uncomfortable? Maybe. But guess what... he's a fully grown man out and about in the world. He doesn't need to be protected 😅
Women are the scapegoats in the narcissistic religions of the world, which All require extensive gaslighting to follow faithfully. 🤷🏼♀️
Yes!!! Absolutely!!
Please don’t apologize to men about speaking about period blood.
Yes!!!!!
YES i thought this as she said that too
Blaming natural disasters on women having a slit in their skirt is reminiscent of the right-wing pastors who blame them on homosexuality.
There is no shortage of homophobia and hate for gay people within the Orthodox Jewish world.
What pastor said that?
@@melindariddle6042 many ultra-orthodox rabbis make claims like that.
@@melindariddle6042 Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson are the two that come to mind but there were others.
@@poeiabird neither blamed womens skirts for homosexuality
I'm so happy there is a 3rd video I was entranced by her and her story. I'm so so proud of her!!!
Shelise, you are such a talented interviewer. Thank you for bringing these stories to us. My heart goes out to Beatrice and I am so inspired by her strength.
Wow, thank you!
I agree - great interviewer!
Honestly as a complete outsider to religion, there is something deeply fetishistic over this obsession with women's bodies. The menstrual thing, the foot thing... This is all so weird to me!
Agreed 😬.
I know right?? I always wondered about that
By trying to hide everything they just get so repressed that it cam make men more dangerous as the energy has to escape somehow.
@liannebenn2097😊
The unspoken sadness is that you have pushed away any thoughts of not being loved. By the time you awaken, those youthful years of romance and growing up together playfully are passed. Beatrice is a beautiful woman. I wish her a blessed future.
What an amazing woman. I am disdainful of most religions that rule by fear. I so loved watching this interview. Thank you.
Honestly she should just start her own podcast, kind of like Mormon stories but for ultra Orthodox
Yes!
Would be great except most of what she’s saying are lies so probably would get busted pretty quickly….
@@dkk-q4q is there anyone debunking her? I would like to listen. I know the Apostate Prophet is very biased and he was interviewed on this show, so I know it can happen
“Whoever is WITHOUT SIN cast the first stone “
The comments about Christians not pleasing their wife during intimacy is ABSOLUTELY WRONG. Men who choose not to please their wife is a SIN .
This was such a good episode. As a secular Jewish person, I have so many curiosities about the Ultra Orthodox. This gave me such a profound insight especially as a woman, thank you Beatrice and Shalise!
There are many ways to get acquainted. This is only one of them. There are different approaches, different types of communities. Many observant people have a very healthy and positive experience.
Do not be seduced by kiruv movements like Chabad or Aish HaTorhah.
This rule of husband and wife not being able to even touch hands during the time of month seems like it really discourages loving and supportive relationships between spouses. That is so very sad. I was so shocked to hear that you cant even hand your baby for your husband to hold after giving birth. That should be such a beautiful and special time for both parents.
There are places where the girls/women are isolated or secluded in a seprate hut during her whole period, some areas of Nepal and Africa.
For many people these practices create a loving supportive bond that is not based on the physicality of a relationship.
Just because you don't understand a culture doesn't mean it... discourages loving and supportive relationship. It actually keeps the intimacy alive due to the longing of not being able to touch for 2 weeks. Every culture does things differently. This is a normal Jewish practice
@@Elliekra it’s normal ORTHODOX Jewish practice and Orthodox Jews are a small percentage of Jews overall. The vast majority of Jews don’t know about any of these rules.
Some frum men are not emotionally supportive and the niddah makes things much worse. It is horrible to have required sex with someone who has basically ignored you for two weeks or risk being classified as moredet. Halacha tahatas mishmacha enables abusive relationships. I am glad that is not the case for you, but it is the reality for many financially dependent wives who are mothers of young babies and children. @@Elliekra
I love your openness Beatrice, and your clear honesty!
Shelise, hope you feel better. Safe travels to Costa Rica!
Thank you, Batya!❤️
Ditto! Have a great trip & thank you for all your work!
Yes! I hope you can rest and have a wonderful trip. You are a treasure.
Beatrice is incredible! I love that she is part of those who left the community and have accomplished great things. She is proof that not everyone who leaves ends up destitute or dishonorable.
Thank you Beatrice for being so open with the archaic expectations women experience in 2024! Shocking the misogyny that remains in the western world in this day and age. You are an amazingly strong women x
Literally RAN here, when I saw Beatrice. Thank you again for sharing! ❤
You are so welcome!
Same! I adore her and this series.So much respect.
Thanks for reposting. I have seen Beatrice in the news before. Stay safe ladies........religion free in the Ozarks USA
Wow, these period rules sound like absolute hell for someone with PCOS…
I was thinking exactly this!
It actually sounds like hell for every single female who menstruates. It's unbelievable and horrific. These people need to go back to the dark ages.
There are people who are halachly infertile: they ovulate before the 7 clean days are up. They have to get permission from a rabbi to move mikvah day up.
It’s soooo ridiculous and MAN MADE always adding to God’s word making life MISERABLE for women specifically! 🤬🤬🤬
@@shabsazad1532ll
Thank you, Beatrice, for voicing your vulnerabilities and truth. May your speaking opportunities reach women who need to know they can leave a high control marriage AND start a new life of joy.❤
Beatrice Weber you are a brilliant and very strong woman! Thank you for sharing your experience with us .
This series with Beatrice has been among the best on your channel. I discovered you not that long ago and I have been bingeing your episodes.
That’s great to hear!
Same ❤
I'm surprised women had ever a moment to have an imaginative thought in their entire lives, being kept so busy hyperventilating about minutia.
That was the point
Beatrice I value your choosing to speak out here. My mother chose to join a Chabad community and is attempting to become Orthodox and nothing the family has tried will stop her. At the very least listening to you reassures me I’m not alarmist to be deeply concerned for this extreme change in her belief and behavior in the last two years
I adore every guest shelise has on here, but Beatrice you are truly my favorite so far. I was raised Christian but went to high school with a close to 60% reformed or modern Orthodox Jewish student body and gained a deep appreciation for Jewish culture. You are such a lovely beacon of positivity and embody pure self-confidence and self-determination on top of being such a wonderfully articulate public speaker. It is such an underrated skill to be able to get interviewed off the cuff like this and your responses are beyond intelligent and thoughtful.
This honestly makes me question not just religion but society. "You do it because everyone else does." Insane
In high control and insular communities like the one I was raised in you don’t have access to outside information and you’re brainwashed into all this at a young age so you don’t really have an opportunity to explore and think for yourself
Intention doesn't matter if it does harm. A man in Iran or Saudi Arabia may say that women covering from head to toe and not being allowed outside of the home without a male family member is for the woman's protection. But in practice it increases the danger the woman is in and severely restricts her freedom. What would protect them is holding the men who attack them accountable instead of blaming the woman. In the case of period rules there are still some places that force women to live in basically a shack (I forget if it's rural India or Pakistan) and there's a pretty high death rate of carbon dioxide poisoning in the winter from trying to heat them. The modesty standards in fundamentalist communities in the United States are supposedly to protect women but it places all responsibility and blame on them if something happens. Intent goes out the window when the action does harm.
All great points
I remember those deaths happened in Nepal
@@noukoukino thank you! I kept trying to find the one I was talking about but I didn't have enough detail to narrow it down.
Thanks so much for platforming this important interview. And thanks to Beatrice - it's a breath of fresh air to hear a knowledgeable Gateshead educated ex-chasid take on this issue. And very courageous.
As a Hasidic man I can tell you that the period rules terribly affect men too, not to take away fron the impact it has on women obviously.
So true!
One way that you can help someone who’s on her period is to give them a heating pad and some aspirin.
I wonder about households that can't afford two sinks, two fridges two separate beds for mom and dad. When we were young, we were lucky to have one of each!
The communities will generally help out with things like that if requested.
A) separate refrigerators are not required
B) a separate sink rack can be used when washing meat or dairy dishes.
C) not all couples use separate beds. If they do, the cost is negligible of two full versus one king.
No one has 2 fridges. Huh?
@@raylew311all couples use 2 separate beds when they need them so need 2 separate in the bedroom. 2 sinks most didnt always have. Pple always managed without it np. Today most builders automatically build with 2 sinks (some 2 dishwashers.....but def not all).
@@michellelansky4490 some do, I have seen a Lubavitch family in Ann Arbor with two separate kitchens, but the home is 4000 square feet and this is far from typical.
As someone who left the “modern orthodox” community at the age of 18 or 19, I can’t get enough of these videos.
For me it’s a long time ago and I’ve mostly reprogrammed myself but family ties are still really difficult and always will be.
Thanks for sharing that! I love hearing how it’s helpful
@@CultstoConsciousness I've been watching your YT for a while am also pleased that you are bringing on so many from the OTD (off the derech) community. I have a number of friends who are ex-Mo. The theology we left was different but the experience of being in and leaving high control religious communities is a very powerful shared touchstone.
I can’t imagine having just had your first child born premature and in the NICU (my first was a NICU preemie too) and your partner’s concern is your SOCKS?? Not his baby’s wellbeing, not his wife’s physical and emotional recovery, but whether her ankles are sufficiently covered?
In her interview she says she miscarried he didn't want to call the ambulance... but this is not because of what "thr law" says, quite the opposite as saving a life comes first. It was rather out of how controlling he was (as seen by pestering her about her hair) so that she ended up shaving just to avoid confrontation.
He was taught to disregard this as she was female and could not be touched at all during this niddah. Still, as a human being he should have and only been ritually impur, needing a ,24 hrs and a mikveh to be kosher or pure for community worship again!!!!
Thank you again C 2 C. The ridiculousness of all these rules. I am so thankful Beatrice got out!
I loved her story and have to listen to part 2 now. But like, when Shelise said "...yeah, mother of 10 here...." my jaw went THROUGH the floor, i caught flies, i nearly died from misbelief.... WOMAN, WHAT? WHERE! You are amazing
10 children is pretty average for Orthodox/Hasidic families!
Every time you do an episode about Orthodox Judaism I realize how lucky I am to have had a conservative Jewish upbringing (denomination, not political leaning). It's a minor miracle I went to a school that was pretty progressive in a lot of ways. My heart aches for my Orthodox/Chasidic sisters and brothers. I almost wonder if my school was a fluke and there are more coercive control groups within Judaism than I think.
Thank you so much, Beatrice, for sharing your journey with us!!! You are sooo beautiful and strong 💪🏼. So glad to hear that you’re a public speaker, sharing your knowledge with others so that they, too, can find healing, awareness, and true individual sovereignty❣️ Shelise’s mission statement❤❤❤
Thank you Beatrice for sharing your incredible story and for being so brave. Wishing you nothing but happiness.
Wow. I just learned a LOT. I'm so happy that Beatrice was strong enough to leave. Can't imagine it.
I have enjoyed watching these episodes with Beatrice! Please keep bringing her back! 😊
Thank you for providing frank honest discussion with no euphemism s. It's about time women could speak freely and comfortably about their bodies. I would have loved to have heard this when I was younger! Keep being awesome women and role models ✨💙✨
Thank you!🙌
Thank you again, Beatrice, for speaking up. I can attest that all Beatrice said is true and not exaggerated. While you're in the community, they paint this picture of the beauty of this all, so most women will feel very empowered by these rules. They make you feel special for having the ability to earn merit in the world to come, etc
Thank you for bring Beatrice back.. Your interviews are so needed.
I don't even know what to say. I'm loving these interviews. Thank you for the work you do, Mrs. Sola!
Beatrice talking about the policing of women's bodies makes me so sad. I am originally Catholic. The societal control of women and their bodies is a major reason why I'm now not following any religion.
And because there are too many stupid rules that don't make any sense and are just a waste of time
Sounds like traditional catholicism.
@@noukoukino No offense, but, what rules?
Hope you’re feeling better Shelise. ❤ have a safe trip! So glad you did a part 3 with Beatrice. Such a brave woman and mother.
Beatrice you are a bright light in the darkness shining a light on ortodox womens hardship and misery. This sort of purity culture is crippling. Wonder how ortodox jewish men would manage if they were faced with simmilar set of rules every day.
They also have very strict rules, simply different ones.
Words fail. Wow. I'm definitely enjoying this third interview, but my brain hurts, and my stomach is queezy. Thank you, Beatrice for being so transparent and sharing your story.
I hope you feel better, Shelise! Enjoy your trip.
Thank you 🙏 Beatrice. I am so grateful to hear your story and witness your journey. You are an incredible person and overcomer.
What's the point of shaving your head and then put a wig on. That's crazy.
I'm so glad you're back Beatrice! This may sound trite but I have to tell you that I have tried for years to get your curls. Lovely!
Appreciate your utmost bravery Beatrice. Much Love!
I lived in Orange County and everything she says is 100% true (and even worse) and so validating
(I, myself was in a forced arraigned marriage)
Just want to commend you on your platform, as you cover such interesting and extremely diverse topics, like the girls from Saudi Arabia and her escape from Islam and S. Arabia to London and the other to USA. And these orthodox Jewish issues, which too are extreme and degrading, and their purity laws. Also a religious Jewish Lady, whether she wants sex or not she has to make herself available for her husbands pleasure. Again, you are giving voice to a vast array of people who are subjected to the most humiliating practices and are not master of their ship in this modern era where much has evolved, though these women are living in the dark ages. Your field of work is brilliant and all inclusive. Thank you so much.
Thank you!!
These rituals are nothing short of misogynistic.
Only bec you're ignorant of what they are. If they were properly explained wouldn't at all be misogynistic. She's very twisted and bitter about her own life so is painting a story of lies and misinformation about everyone else. If youd ask 1000 observant women, you'd get 990 of them telling you it's their most cherished mitzvah and cherished night. Just research on a website that is NOT the TH-cam version of the Jerry Springer show.
@@michellelansky4490 Yes, brainwashing works well on humans and there are many examples of it that are highlighted on this channel. You can definitely make people believe that suffering is really their blessing.
Ofcourse they are, almost all religions are designed and controlled by men.
@@michellelansky4490
It is not true that most chasidic women are happy in their marriages; They may love their families, their social status, and even their husbands, but abusive is normalized and taharas hamishpacha is used to coercively control chasidic women. There is always the threat of being called moredet, and all of the rabbis will blame the woman if she stands up to an abusive husband. This is true in many chasidic sects.
Denying reality doesn't change it.
You have internalized misogynie quite well. She's certainly happier than you are.@@michellelansky4490
Thank you Beatrice for sharing your experiences. I watch a couple of Jewish vloggers. Until now I never realized the level of control over women. It is so sad.
Ahh darn, I missed the live! I wanted to ask Beatrice why the women would not speak to secular women. I lived by her community (all 3 she mentioned btw) and any time I would hold a door for a mom pushing a stroller, or anything like that, they would act like I didn't exist. Like not even acknowledge my presence. Why???
Mostly fear of outsiders. It’s not explicitly forbidden but definitely discouraged to speak with outsiders unless you have a specific need
@@beatriceweber1 Thank you for answering Beatrice. You're amazing!
@@beatriceweber1 By the way, I used to be married to an Egyptian (I grew up in the US) and when he told me he was taught that if a woman's menstrual fluid touched a man, he would get sick. I laughed out loud at him and he understood immediately that it was not true.
@@GaliSinatra thank you
@@beatriceweber1thanks for clarifying. I always wondered the same! I used to live just off Bathurst north of Ranee in an Orthodox neighbourhood and when I would pass women walking toward me on the same side of the street, I would always say hello and they would be looking at me the entire time before actually passing me so it was unexpected that they would say nothing back, whereas the men would ALWAYS return the greeting or sometimes even initiate it, even though I always knew to keep the eye contact to those two seconds it took to say say hello 🤦🏻♀️
Shelise, l LOVE the spotlight you bring to illuminate the darkness of HIGH DEMAND RELIGION in general. Rock on!
Fascinating interview. Thanks so much to both of you for doing this. I'm a secular Jew, BTW.
This interview is so interesting. Thank you for sharing, Beatrice.
Thank you for providing even more important info about this culture. I had no idea there was so much regulation and shame going on. I hope that anyone struggling with this level of control can find peace and freedom to do what their heart desires! Thank you so much for sharing ❤️ 💕 💗 hope you find all the happiness!
Get well soon, Shelise! 🎉 Have a wonderful time on your cruise!!! 🥰
This is all so interesting! Thank you for being so open!
Absolutely eye opening! I’m amazed at her courage and tenacity!!
I really enjoy Beatrice's personality! I've learned a lot from her videos. So proud and happy for her that she found her freedom.
I love your interviews. You are so true!
This was so interesting to hear about. Thanks for sharing your story.
It just made me widen my eyes.n yes there is a cultural sect in my country where they treat their women the same way that has been told in the video. I always wondered where those traditions came from.it is traumatic to be a part of such communities.
Love to see Beatrice again!!! She's fantastic and has come so far ❤
Thanks soooo much Beatrice!! You truly are a beautiful soul ❤
Shelise, get well soon, and have a great time with Johnatan, Baby, and all of the people who will be traveling with you. Have a blast.
Thank you!
She is blushing, what a sweetheart. You guys are great. Good to hear you laugh as well
Everyone said it already, but I'm dropping it bc of the algorithm: You both are incredible woman! ❤
The societal period shaming and the juxtaposition of purity and comfort in exposure is insane. Nobody should have to endure all this.
Cults are OVERLY PREOCUPIED WITH SEX.
You are only perceiving this the way you are bec she's deliberately taking what must have been a hard marriage for her (I dunno maybe her husband was a creep.......or maybe she's one ......we really don't have the info to determine that) and applying it to others. 95% of women look forward to their mikvah night with baited breath and LOVE this mitzvah as their favorite. Her presentation of the facts and of the reasons/outlook are totally skewered and ignorant. If it wouldn't be so sad it would be hysterical. This mitzvah cherishes women and has been spoken positively of by doctors for generations. Makes intimacy special, makes marriages worked on. I would assume the only religion in the world that REQUIRES men to give sexual pleasure to their wives as part of the marriage contract and never the reverse.
I would have a hard time remembering ALL those minute rules, let alone having the patience during my period!
What I don't understand is the woman is so unpure that she can't touch or hand over her baby... But she's expected to bring a dirty vagina cloth and/or panties to the Rabbi for him to inspect? How is this clean! Could it possibly cause disease transmission? It sounds almost fetishy to me.
I absolutely love this series with Beatrice. I actually taught at a Jewish school with a wife range of Jewish beliefs. I actually married a Jew so we do mostly Jewish holidays but i grew up Catholic so we still do Christmas for my family. I knew some of this stuff but not all of it. I'm so glad she was willing to be so open with us on this.
You are so courageous, Beatrice. You are an admirable person. I wish you the best.
It's amazing that babies get born at all. By the time one is finished with these rituals, she is past the time of ovulation.
Power to you for making a giant leap in your journey. Processing anything takes time and there is no limit for this. do it in your own way
I’m glad you’re free🎉You look happy. Im so glad for your freedom!
Congratulations on your freedom! You are brave and beautiful!!!!!! It is shocking how similiar many high control religions are, especially about women's heads and hair.
They just hate women
This was a fantastic series
Very interesting interview!
Thank you 🙏
Beatrice is an amazing woman! She left her controlling husband and community with 10 children. I pray that at least some of her older children will reunite with her. No doubt she’s being slandered in the community. Thank you Beatrice!!! Thanks for your courage!
I wore dresses and skirts at school, and sometimes the wind would blow my skirt up for all to see.
I wasn’t allowed to wear pants till I was 10 and was forbidden to wear shorts under my skirt to school. Spent years just on the bench
20:57 is when the exmo realizes that maybe mormonism is not that extreme. Beatrice is telling the truth 100%, it is exactly like this.
Same here ex-mo this is far worse
Not sure what you're talking about. Most women treasure the mitzvah of mikvah and miss it tremendously when aged out of it. It is the only method to keep sexual intimacy fresh, keep sexual health monitored (as any Dr with attest to as in cancers, etc), keep non sexual communication at its prime, and give the woman a guaranteed spa night out for herself.
@@michellelansky4490 you do you, honey. ACOG has no recommendation on swiping one's vagina 14 times in 7 days to prevent cancer.
@@michellelansky4490spa night? You like being naked in front of a stranger? Weirdo
@@michellelansky4490but there's no doctor or medical professional involved? That's the point.
Beatrice Thank You so much for sharing your story. I would love to see you on CTC more and get a deep dive on all aspects of your life, customs of the religion and community you were a part of. I respectfully appreciate you.
Wow.🤯 to never have seen your mother’s feet is such a mind blowing concept. I could absolutely identify my mother by her feet if I needed to, and it feels strange to even imagine not recognizing that detail of her person. I would recognize her hands or her feet even if they weren’t attached to her. That’s a creepy thing to consider… but it’s true. I have a recurring dream where I see my mother’s feet hanging off of a bed, the rest of her body is covered, but I recognize it’s her because of her feet. In the dream when I pull the cover back it is her body, but my face. I’m aware of this because in the dream I observe all of this imagery through a full length mirror next to the bed, it’s such a strange dream, but even stranger now that I consider that many people probably couldn’t identify their mother by her feet. I’m not a freak. I swear it. 😂
Your not! My mom's right foot the toe next to her pinky toe is tiny and kind of sits on top of the other. I'd be able to recognize them in an instant! Her hands too bc mine are crooked just like hers ❤
Nah, I get you and feel the same way! What a scary dream though :')
Cant imagine what women go thru during pre menopause. I was so irregular, would bleed for weeks at a time. After a wo
man cant have kids anymore, do couples still have sex?
Yes
It makes me so sad to hear these stories . As a Jewish women I TG never had these experiences , and have no anger or religious trauma . I totally understand the need to break free, especially each of us has the right to our own spiritual journey . These interviews are the best I have heard in years and years .
Beatrice Weber have you considered making a movie about your experience in the Hasidic community? It would be so informative!
Right now I’m working on my book!
@17:01, I'm glad you mentioned the fertility/ovulation thing! I legit was just asking my sister about this earlier in the week because it sounded like ovulation tracking, but I wasn't sure! IDK, the fact that these women typiclaly have children so quickly after being married, and then have so many back to back after the first, leads me to believe the latent function/ dysfunction of these puirty standards is fertility-driven.
This was my first thought and so glad we have a 3rd interview w/lovely Bea! I wish I was here to ask about sex during pregnancy? I imagine women would prefer to be pregnant just to not have to shove a dry cloth up and yank it out 14x after your cycle. 😢
I would have been deemed infertile in this environment. I ovulate between days 7-10 of my cycle. Always have, so would literally have never had a child. I do wonder how many women that happens to in this culture. How sad. 😢
Me as well
Some women don't bleed for 7 days either. When I was younger, mine was so weird, I'd be on for 4 or 5 days, skip a day and then have one last day. Does it have to be 14 days or just 7 after you stop bleeding?
@@trishawwit’s your period then seven clean days afterward.
I think that it's like 10% of ultra Orthodox women suffer from "halachik infertility" it's called. There are some ways to solve it now with the hormones or artificial insemination. The modern Orthodox women now are going by the original rules in those cases - just the 7 days of menses as in the Torah.
😢😢😢😢😢
Thank you so very much for sharing your story. I would like to hear more about dietary rules and how those intersect with purity rules. Again, thanks you so very very much.
sad when you think you need creepy religious rules to "protect" a woman from her husband
Beatrice, you are an amazing person. I admire you so much and I'm sure all your children do, too, in their way.
Thank you for speaking up. I'm from Poland and this reaity is completely unknown to me, but I'm fascinated by it, by women like you. I'm sure your message is impacting a lot of women.
Yeah….the man made rules.
This is one reason Jesus literally called the scribes and Pharisees out on all these rules that made a HUGE yolk of shame and burdens …
But it’s consistent for all cults and high demands…
Thank you very much 🙏 It was very interesting to hear and it gives a feeling of togetherness (I also left the religion) and I am happy about this podcast prolonging the work you do
There are endless laws in religion, laws that are unnatural, maybe once it was appropriate, not sure either, the time will come to change these laws, it is good to abolish all religions/sects with the help of information and knowledge.
And with the help of podcasts like yours
And this is why the movie: The Village by M. Night Shamalan, it's still my absolute favorite movie. Not only does it show what we have all been experiencing for centuries and are now becoming aware of; all the lies we have been taught. But that we don't know any different because we were born into it.
Thank you very much for sharing I’ve seen several of your videos Beatrice! ❤I’m so immensely sorry to hear about your children parents and family. I can’t imagine what’s that like. You’re a survivor My heart ♥️ really goes out to you. You have a lot of strength and perseverance. Which college did you go to? What was your major? Was raised Christian but family was very very liberal Christian not a lot of rule following. My mom taught me to always earn money and to go to college she stressed the importance of only depending on yourself. I’m spiritual I mediate now. What are your spiritual practices like now if you don’t mind me asking? I’m curious. Do you find your life is better now? What have you been up to? What do you enjoy now? Do you find a lot more freedom in your new life? I love listening to you it’s so interesting. You have such pretty hair and outfits. I really wish mine curled that way. But my hairs stick straight Im a female. Sending you my best😊♥️♥️♥️.
L
Forgot to add in last comment that I like red too! Red outfit and lipstick 💄 looks great on you! I very much admire you and your courage! ~*~* L
That whole menstrual stuff is absolutely insane. Control beyond control.
I would absolutely love to have a friend like you !!!! You are an amazing woman ....wishing you only the very best .
How gullible can you be. You're trusting a women who has nothing better to do than to paint her personal picture as the picture of most others. THINK! Who but trash would want to vomit their personal problems out to the Jerry Springer show. Her explanations are skewered and many of them straight out lies. If you don't know otherwise, WHY is she so amazing? She could be selling you a 'bill 'o goods' and you'd still say she's amazing?????? ever hear a used car salesman not ham it up for the sale.
Sounds like Handmaid Tales stories! They are going by the craziness in the old testament when they did not understand blood back then! My word what a cult this is!
Just as bad with the Catholic cult
I agree about the old testament and the not understanding blood. I completely understand some of these customs were needed many years past. The washing of hands before eating the bread. The same w/circumcisions, we did them bc of a lack of ability to clean. Now, we have become so brainwashed to think a man's natural body part is gross or unclean. If God didn't want men to have foreskin, he wouldn't have put it there. Probably an unpopular opinion but I see circumcisions as genital mutilation to newborns and traumatizing them from birth. We've had indoor plumbing in 1st worlds for 100 years now. We talk about female genital mutilation but what about our baby boys?