Funny thing is, that dark side, when you end up hurting too many people you care about. You can hit a realization that YOU are the problem and decide to make sure no one is ever hurt again by locking yourself away from the rest of your life. Sure, you go to work, you smile and mask your discomfort. But you stop inviting anyone to your home ever again. You disconnect from friends and family. You lock yourself away from anyone that you might hurt. At first, it’s lonely but then, a few years go by and you begin to feel content in your enforced solitude. You relish that even though the solitude can be odd to others, you know the truth. That it’s a necessary choice, so you NEVER hurt anyone again… and in return.. no one can ever hurt you.
I think it’s rooted in how we were hurt to begin with. I’ve gone through periods of doing this my whole life. From 5th grade, letting my friends go after they got mad at me for not snapping another girls bra, to being a current leader in a job, even seeking to quit because I feel like a burden. I feel bad for staying in my marriage as long as I did, and can’t feel anything pursuing a new one-trying to break up in my current one. It’s easier to let people go. I’m finding happiness teaching, I’ve choosing to live small so I don’t hurt others, but I’m also someone who has to overwork, so that will only be so long. I feel like I do all of these things, the worst being procrastinating and isolating.
I’ll admit that I recognize all of these behaviors in myself, at several points in my life both past and present. I could type out my whole life story here, but the main point is I’ve probably shorted my lifespan by several years from the two decades of unrelenting stress, fatigue, anxiety, and depression I’ve put myself through. No wonder I’m still at my parents home, unable to hold down a job and isolating socially to avoid dragging other people into my problems. I feel so utterly out of place in society because of my struggles, and found isolating at home was the only way I could cope without hurting others.
Same here. You are not alone. Hope one day we can meet nice people who treat is right. Friends, lover or maybe just co-workers etc. Anyone who understands and accept with a warm heart. Although now we might be stuck I'm a dark place but trust me taking a step forwards towards something good can change our lives. It doesn't have to be an abrupt change that stresses you out to keep up with it but simply do small things one by one. Meditation, exercise, talking to people, eating your meals, taking care of health etc. And don't forget that I'd you don't become an extrovert and have energy and social skills then only you can achieve better things in life cuz it's not true at all. Socializing doesn't have to be partying with ppl, or doing public speeches or making connections in hopes for gaining some sort of success. You can socialize simply asking someone about their day or concerns or maybe share yours. You share your food. You make something for someone show your appreciation. There's lots of ways. And don't listen ppl who keep victim blaming or saying invalidating stuff about you and your life. You know yourself better than others. One day you will have your safe place of your own where you will be at peace and will spread love with other people. I promise. Untill then, let's work hard and do our best by never leaving our own sides. 💕☺️ Plz know that I'm always rooting for you. Hope my words give you strength even though I'm not good at English. Gotta keep fighting!💪😆
Sending a virtual hug to you, you are not alone cause I'm also experiencing the same situation. Hope we can take obstruction on a positive note and archive peace of mind.
If you are isolating, turn it into something that will benefit you in the end... look inward, even at the way you speak to yourself in your own mind. Write down when you feel triggered or anxious and what happened immediately before (down to what thoughts and words you spoke in that beautiful mind). Don't push ANYTHING down, feel it all completely even if it seems minuscule. Your thoughts and emotions can only FEEL like they're going to kill you or last forever, but every time you let yourself fall into them (in your isolation because it is "safe"). At first you will behave like a child ("but why should I HAVE to..." "that's not FAIR!") while doing this because that inner child is finally able to be heard, then it will heal and you will be able to understand why you did or said what you did but no longer need to do that toxic thinking in the future. You'll find out what the true source of your patterns are, one by one.
do you have access to therapy or counseling that could help you rework your behavior patterns into something healthier for yourself and others? i appreciate you’re transparency. awareness is a huge first step in making positive change
@@haunusi1728 the point is for self-awareness. It's really hard to take a step in the right direction to getting better when you don't even know what your issues are.
For those in a hurry, here are the 7: 1. Perfectionism 2. Procrastination 3. Overworking Yourself 4. Passive Aggressive 5. Co-Dependency 6. Social Avoidance and Withdrawal 7. Excessive Regret
It hurts me knowing that I have all of these issues and I have problems that need to be fixed. I have moments where I’m doing good and then moments where I’m going backwards and it’s a tiring cycle that I just want to overcome for good and be a better version of myself. My toxic family members have influenced me negatively and it’s something I wish I never had to go thru bc I’ve hurt a lot of people and I regret it all… the good that could come from this is recognizing ur issues and knowing that there’s solutions to fix them.
Your comment really resonated with me. I feel exactly the same way. I suppose it doesn’t help, but you’re not the only one! Getting better and changing your behavior is a slow process, but it can be done! I’m not saying it’s easy. But don’t give up. 🦋
I recently lost so many of my closest friends due to my insecurities as well as losing my crush. I shut myself away because of the personal tragedy and believed that nobody cared about me. It was a rough 1 week which affected me when I'm working. My friends have every right to be angry, they have every right not to forgive me, they have every right to feel betrayed by my actions, they gave so many chances and I broke it. Now, I'm all alone but it is not over, I will learn to pick myself back up and be better.
I LOVED art as a kid. I am also an extreme perfectionist as well as being very competitive. So when in art class I struggled to draw a pumpkin compared to all the others kids, I stopped drawing and convinced myself that I hated it. Now all of the sudden I’m finding that it’s something that I love and hate doing. I struggle with getting everything perfect and so can’t really do it thanks to that habit
Literally, this is what I dealt with for having, achieving perfection. meaning nobody name calling you in disgrace, doing your chores as the person you respect intended, and getting the chores completed before the time runs out.
That regret thing is something I still deal with to this day. I know that what I did is the best I could because it's what I did in the end. But I still feel ashamed of some things , some for good reason. Sometimes validation makes things worse.
Some people do and take the people that care for them for granted sometimes there is no answers on your own. We are social creatures after all. And how everything is with positivity only. It's so hard to find someone to just hear you out. When you're not having such a good day or life...
I really like Brandon’s voice over work here. He has the perfect tone, sound level and cadence. I really like that he is not a low talker. Low talkers are really frustrating to listen to.
out of all this in my life me being passive-aggressive is my default mode(mainly for doing something that I don't want to do, thus resulting eating up most of my day to do it, but I will help(main explanation it gets old) so it me venting before saying yes) then minorly I have occasional thought of perfectionism(dating/relationship), regret(dating), then 50/50 about social avoidance cause sometimes (tired/ not in the mood), and I'm a very introverted person(even on my down time)
Thank you so much, I love being able to do this on a break. It reminds me to stay confident and keep trying even well I can feel crushed. You/y'all are so helpful to me.💙
Last one really hit hard, I struggeld for more then 7 years with the feeling regret that transformed into guilt over time, And the feeling of guilt is way worse then regret
I feel like guilt and regret are very closely connected. Although I think guilt might be easier to forgive because if you didn’t do something on purpose to hurt someone, then you should probably forgive yourself. I’m talking to myself as well. But the regret over losing the time that I had with someone will probably stay with me forever. I can’t imagine it going away. I guess we’re just supposed to live with it. I hope you can find something that will bring you some joy, or at least some peace. I’m hoping that for me, too!
@@whitebirchtarot i started forgiving my self and accepting it happend like 2 years ago during the covid pendemic and i'm more then happy with my self and i'm able to let the hard things go more easier
Excessive perfectionism is horrible for you. I know. My first panic attack happened due to perfectionism preventing me from finishing a work I found passion in, even 2 weeks past deadline. Chest pains, (near heart attack) rapid heart rate, sweating, overwhelming anxiety, the whole lot. I’ve been through serious sh!t, but I’ve only ever been through the worst when my own mind holds itself to such a standard I’ve heard others praise me for. I’ve only ever had 3 in my entire life. Every time… it was my inability to live up to my own expectations. I’ve only ever had 3 because I’ve let go. I know I will have more as I experience more new things, but by letting go, I won’t have them happen for the same reason. I’ve let go that I can’t always make perfect works of art. I’ve let go of not being there to always defend those I love. And I’ve let go of a girl I loved, but never loved me back.
As someone who dabbles in Astrology every now and then, I find myself feeling conflicted with statements like this sometimes, especially with procrastination. I used to not struggle with it growing up, but as of lately off and on, I've been finding myself getting frustrated because I know that procrastination isn't healthy- yet at the same time, this is a habit that is very much linked to my problems with focus/getting easily distracted. I know I can't wish away my ADD nor is it healthy for me to work against it, and using Astrology to help me work around these things is a slow work in progress.... If I end up resigning to the idea that procrastination isn't inherently bad, then why does it feel so hard to maintain a healthy balance?
procrastination is NOT a personality trait, it’s a coping mechanism that usually stems from fear of failure. and neither is perfectionism, which can hold you back from growing, allowing yourself do to things ‘not perfectly’ and learn from them. edit: both of these are bad btw. allow yourself to make mistakes and find out what’s causing you to procrastinate.
According to The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control - A Path to Peace and Power, perfectionists, even though they could be what you say, have produced some of the best things in society. The book even talks about five types of perfectionists: Classic, Intense, Messy, Parisian, and Procrastinator. Just thought you should know.
Thank you for sharing this video. I always feel these types of videos help people that fall into one or more of the categories described. My brother tends to have excessive regret. We tell him that you can't change the past, but if you regret something, use that in your future encounters & avoid it next time. There is a lot to be learned from past mistakes. God Bless You & stay safe.
May I ask how he is dealing with it? I just realised, that I have spend the last 5 years with regreting something and I do not know how to get out of it.
@@tobio1988 He seems to continue to live in the past. I wish he could understand we all have things we regret from our past, but cannot change. We can only monitor our present behavior and hope we don't make that same mistake again.
Is it easy to distinguish what to do, or not to do? For example: I had a realtionship that went really south, but we have a child together, so I have to see this person multiple times a week, despite the fact, that she is quite often toxic, blames me for things I have nothing to do with and so on. Right now I cant even say what the misstep is I made and I shoud better avoid. I cant decide if I should not trust people? Avoid relationships? Avoid toxic people? And if I try to avoid toxic people. How to spot them before they are to deep in my life? I hope I dont bother you with this. I already see that I have to talk to one or more good friends about this.
@@tobio1988 You aren't bothering me. That sounds like a rough situation. It seems you will have to learn to compromise with one another for the sake of your child. You have to avoid arguing and make decisions TOGETHER. I know that sounds difficult, but pray about it & God will give you the strength to deal with your situation. God Bless You & stay safe.
@@tobio1988 excuse me for butting into your conversation, but I’m dealing with learning when to trust people. I used to trust people until they proved to me that they couldn’t be trusted and that isn’t turning out so well! So my new process is to insist that people earn my trust. And remember that people’s actions speak louder than their words, so don’t be fooled by sweet talkers. You will know in your gut whether someone is really trustworthy or not if you sit with it in silence and listen to what your heart is telling you. Good luck!
Aww... It's like, you chose to make a vision board of my life! No really though, the social isolation of the pandemic was nothing compared to what it reminded me of in childhood. At least we all got to be isolated together. Passive aggression is another of my big ones, I could probably write a book on codependency, and regret... Sounds like an issue. Forgot the other ones already though. But, that didn't stop me from feeling them. I just hope, honestly, that no one has to turn out the way I did.
How do you guys always know want I need at what time?? 😖 This channel is my comfort place thank you so much I am still very greatful to the day I found your channel I remember how did i finded it thanks again please never stop making these videos
I’ll be the first to admit I hate going out and talking to people. I’m happiest locked in my apartment alone with my fish and my plants. those things bring me great joy. Is this ruining my life? Maybe but I’m having a great time so maybe it isn’t?
Damn, I have all these with social avoidance and excessive regret being at the peak. I don't know why, but in college I'm unable to make friends. I just don't feel like it nor do I feel any connection with them, but I'm also jealous and envious of those who are friends or are in a relationship. I do interact more with my older friends from high school and primary school, but none of them are with me in college now...
Can you do a video in relation to this in which you confront these issues and give tips on how to help get it under control, with me being a lot of these I can’t really see anyway to help get better I just see what’s wrong with what I do. Or if you’ve done videos on the subjects already, to maybe link those in the description or add to the little info button at the top? Could be helpful to those like me seeing themselves in this and having no clue on how to get control of it :) Hope you and your team have a wonderful day/night :3 Take care and stay safe
I’m definitely a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist has made me limit myself in so many ways. I’m a musician. So I feel like in order to be a musician, I can’t cry, because musicians don’t cry. Music is supposed to make those feelings of anger, sadness, depression and stuff disappear forever. Musicians are supposed to be happy 24/7 with no struggles in life. Music has so much power. I also tend to limit myself when it comes to things that benefit my blindness, autism and CPTSD. I really need to work on this.
Who says musicians don’t cry? Artists are usually very sensitive and music to me is the thing that triggers my emotions the most. You probably need to cry. A lot. Nobody ever said musicians are supposed to be happy. Art is a way of releasing pain. Don’t be so hard on yourself! 💕💕
@@whitebirchtarot thanks so much for the wonderful words. I honestly don’t know where I came up with this theory. I definitely do have a tendency to limit myself. I don’t just limit myself with this, I limit myself with other things too.
@@siennaprice1351 I imagine it’s some kind of conditioning when you were younger, but if you start examining why you’re limiting yourself, maybe you can get to the bottom of it. Limitations can be useful of course, but too much will keep you from following your heart and really being at one with yourself. Our relationship with ourselves has a lot to do with how our relationships with others turn out, as you probably have discovered. I’m glad you didn’t tell me to mind my own business! I was just offering a thought. Good luck to you! The world needs artists, especially right now! Art has always saved my life in one way or another. So thank you. 💕
@@whitebirchtarot I would never tell you to mind your own business. I’ll give you a little back story on why I do this. So, first off, I was born with a rare brain condition called Septo Optic Dysplasia, which caused me to be born totally blind, it also caused me to be on the autism spectrum and a few other things. I would do certain things because of my blindness and autism, and people would limit me because they wanted me to fit in with society, when these things weren’t hurting me, but others felt uncomfortable about me doing them, so I now limit myself from doing them. I also have CPTSD from many years of abuse and limitation from others. I wasn’t allowed to be my true self. I wasn’t allowed to rock, I wasn’t allowed to explore things. I couldn’t run into things without being either laughed at or judged. I couldn’t spill things or knock things over. I couldn’t have meltdowns. I couldn’t use my coping skills, all I could do was “suck it up, and deal with it. Because what was my f*cking problem?” This is what they would say to me. But I’m working on this.
yeah I mean..I relate to most of these, but some more than others. whenever I start thinking of writing a comment, like a vent comment, I just think "yea no I'd just be manipulating people to feel bad for me.." which is kinda what i'm probably doing here, I probably am pretty passive aggressive, if I wasn't I'd have lost my friend by now (or just be manipulative towards them) by saying their stupid, don't deserve anything, why I'm correct, they're wrong... but I don't care enough to change. I procrastinate a lot and want to be alone when I work. I don't want to be near anyone, it's so awkward. I feel the need to be perfect when i'm next to someone...I don't overwork. I basically bottle up any anger I have (which is usually a lot..) and just want to isolate myself so I don't have to deal with the people that make me mad. sorry for the paragraph
I recognize some of these behaviors in me. Some of them are really severe(?) I'm really close to giving up. I'm hurting a lot of people around me because of these. These behaviors have been interfering in my daily life and making it harder to live on. Even the basic things are hard for me to do. I don't want this kind of life anymore. Is there a way to maybe, stop or lessen these behaviors in me? Sorry, English is not my first language. Forgive me for any grammatical error and I'm really not good at expressing myself. I hope you understood what I was trying to say.
Don’t give up! Is there any way you can get some kind of mental health therapy? I’m not saying that you’re mentally ill; it just sounds like you could use someone professional to talk to you to help you with your issues. That has really helped me. Otherwise I don’t think I would be here. And yes, there’s always a way to change your behavior unless you’re unfortunate enough to be severely mentally ill, but it does not sound to me like you are. You’re very self-aware. And as an ex ESL teacher, your English is excellent! Please take care of yourself. 💕💕 you can do it! Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step. Most people don’t even know that!
I'm lost. I can't understand anything. I can only regret. I lost courage to do something. I don't know why I act the way I act. I don't know who controls me. Everything is getting worse and worse and here I'm.....😢
Overworking myself in home projects, has a therapeutic effect. There is nothing wrong with physically working hard to use it as tharapy. At home, I will work my hands until they bleed and I am exhausted doing all I can to service, repair, upgrade, everything I own, including advanced items. As far as social avoidance, I find nothing wrong with that. I require no help from anybody. I am always doing something challenging at home to keep me working hard and occupied. That requires no social connection nor interaction. Everything else on the list, I have never done, nor will I ever.
A good therapist if you can afford it, being mindful of what you’re thinking, saying, feeling, and doing. Writing down things that trigger you. Making a list at the end of the day about things you could have done better or differently. Being kind to yourself. Doing things that you enjoy. Doing things for others. Being out in nature. Making another list at the end of the day of things you’re grateful for, even if it’s only one. Believing that you can change if you really try, but be easy on yourself while you’re doing it because it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
Well then, I got everything except for the co-dependency since I'm unable to fall for anybody, don't even know if this is emotional blocks or independence at this point.
Extensively times that step we are afraid to take might just be the right one. Thank you, Dr Igho for your Inducement and for not allowing me down throughout the whole revolution. Your Medication that I am Delighted I came across your channel
I’ve witnessed all these traits in some of the people who are closest to me, and it feels like they’re the root cause of my parents’ abusive and cynical behaviour, not just toward me but also toward each other, as well as other aspects of society, some of them irrational and/or conjectured. 👥 Honestly, I’ve been so torn between feeling bad for them and making sure they’re okay, and making sure my own needs and wellbeing are maintained to a sufficient capacity, that it’s ultimately led to a severely degraded quality of life, one I must handle without most of the same societal structures and supports that so many take for granted… 💔 If there’s one upside to this, it’s that I’m able to recognise the signs and behavioural patterns that make it easier to navigate toxic individuals with a certain level of finesse and compassion, enough to make sure all needs and duties are met while ensuring my still-honing boundaries, self-image and wellbeing are kept stable and healthy. 😌
Wow, it sounds like maybe you need to be a little nicer to yourself. It sounds like your family is quite a burden. I know the feeling and it’s really not good for you not to take care of yourself. I’m sure you already know that. You sound like a very strong person. Take care. 💕💕
@@whitebirchtarot Somehow I’ve managed by sheer force of will, though it’s started taking a noticeable toll… 😅 Thank you for your kind words. I’ve been finding my voice since 2017, when it first became clear that things needed to change, and while there’s still a ways to go, it’s gotten _so_ much easier with experience and loads of patience. 😌
@@RyanJZacher yes, that’s the problem with caring so much for others. It really does take a toll on our health. It sounds like you know what you’re doing though and that you have a lot of patience, and you’re right, it is necessary! Good luck to you. It’s so nice to find caring people in the world.💕
My friend used to have perfectionism, and when she wasn't my friend anymore, I deeply pitied her. Her life had been wasted and ruined for her only because of her perfectionism. I wonder what she's up to now. In Indian culture, overworking and ignoring your feelings is the main motto. Feelings lead nowhere, only work does. Education is the only success. But this isn't true, Indian culture itself is toxic, please tune into your feelings and find peace with them rather than suppressing them. You have to learn to depend on yourself, not only others, because you will be lost and you will be confused about so many things when you grow up. Even introverts need socializing, even if they don't speak, or collaborate. Please don't avoid people because you're an introvert. Finally, life is full of regrets, and even I regret things so many times. "Ohh
Timestamps 1). Perfertionism 0:43 2). Procastination 1:54 3). Overworking yourself 3:09 4). Passive-aggressiveness 4:01 5). Co-dependency 5:02 6). Social avoidance and withdrawal 6:01 7). Excessive regret 7:13 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
I’m the perfectionist. I’m scared for my parents to think that I’m a failure I’m scared for them to leave me I really don’t want that to happen and it’s hard because I have Adhd I don’t want them to think I’m a failure
Want to be a voice over for me psych2go? Tag us on TH-cam with you reading your favourite book!
Can you teach me for how to make animation like You?💗
Im not the best at voicing over, but thank you!
I hope Amanda is still doing the voice overs even if you’re looking for a voice over.
i want it🤩😁
Can we send it to you somewhere else? I don’t have any post on TH-cam
0:00 intro
0:43 perfectionism
1:54 procrastination
3:09 overworking yourself
4:01 passive-aggressiveness
5:02 co-dependency
6:01 social avoidance and withdrawal
7:14 excessive regret
8:22 outro
copy pasted&added intro and outro
@@OopsieNoob no
read from video， so I can get “passive-aggressiveness” ，“co-dependency” same with original
different from other 😊
Thank-you for the summary. 😊
@@jchur7128 😊
All things I do 😬
Funny thing is, that dark side, when you end up hurting too many people you care about. You can hit a realization that YOU are the problem and decide to make sure no one is ever hurt again by locking yourself away from the rest of your life. Sure, you go to work, you smile and mask your discomfort. But you stop inviting anyone to your home ever again. You disconnect from friends and family. You lock yourself away from anyone that you might hurt. At first, it’s lonely but then, a few years go by and you begin to feel content in your enforced solitude. You relish that even though the solitude can be odd to others, you know the truth. That it’s a necessary choice, so you NEVER hurt anyone again… and in return.. no one can ever hurt you.
I fucking hate how I relate to this. Can’t break anymore hearts. It’s incredibly depressing.
That's what I do all the time.
I've been doing that for almost 6 years now. Thank you for putting it in such an elegant way.
.
I think it’s rooted in how we were hurt to begin with. I’ve gone through periods of doing this my whole life. From 5th grade, letting my friends go after they got mad at me for not snapping another girls bra, to being a current leader in a job, even seeking to quit because I feel like a burden. I feel bad for staying in my marriage as long as I did, and can’t feel anything pursuing a new one-trying to break up in my current one. It’s easier to let people go.
I’m finding happiness teaching, I’ve choosing to live small so I don’t hurt others, but I’m also someone who has to overwork, so that will only be so long.
I feel like I do all of these things, the worst being procrastinating and isolating.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”
― C.G. Jung
I’ll admit that I recognize all of these behaviors in myself, at several points in my life both past and present. I could type out my whole life story here, but the main point is I’ve probably shorted my lifespan by several years from the two decades of unrelenting stress, fatigue, anxiety, and depression I’ve put myself through. No wonder I’m still at my parents home, unable to hold down a job and isolating socially to avoid dragging other people into my problems. I feel so utterly out of place in society because of my struggles, and found isolating at home was the only way I could cope without hurting others.
While you may have isolated yourself from the world, you are not alone; I can relate to your experiences
Same here. You are not alone. Hope one day we can meet nice people who treat is right. Friends, lover or maybe just co-workers etc. Anyone who understands and accept with a warm heart. Although now we might be stuck I'm a dark place but trust me taking a step forwards towards something good can change our lives. It doesn't have to be an abrupt change that stresses you out to keep up with it but simply do small things one by one. Meditation, exercise, talking to people, eating your meals, taking care of health etc. And don't forget that I'd you don't become an extrovert and have energy and social skills then only you can achieve better things in life cuz it's not true at all. Socializing doesn't have to be partying with ppl, or doing public speeches or making connections in hopes for gaining some sort of success. You can socialize simply asking someone about their day or concerns or maybe share yours. You share your food. You make something for someone show your appreciation. There's lots of ways. And don't listen ppl who keep victim blaming or saying invalidating stuff about you and your life. You know yourself better than others. One day you will have your safe place of your own where you will be at peace and will spread love with other people. I promise. Untill then, let's work hard and do our best by never leaving our own sides. 💕☺️ Plz know that I'm always rooting for you. Hope my words give you strength even though I'm not good at English.
Gotta keep fighting!💪😆
Sending a virtual hug to you, you are not alone cause I'm also experiencing the same situation. Hope we can take obstruction on a positive note and archive peace of mind.
If you are isolating, turn it into something that will benefit you in the end... look inward, even at the way you speak to yourself in your own mind. Write down when you feel triggered or anxious and what happened immediately before (down to what thoughts and words you spoke in that beautiful mind). Don't push ANYTHING down, feel it all completely even if it seems minuscule. Your thoughts and emotions can only FEEL like they're going to kill you or last forever, but every time you let yourself fall into them (in your isolation because it is "safe"). At first you will behave like a child ("but why should I HAVE to..." "that's not FAIR!") while doing this because that inner child is finally able to be heard, then it will heal and you will be able to understand why you did or said what you did but no longer need to do that toxic thinking in the future. You'll find out what the true source of your patterns are, one by one.
do you have access to therapy or counseling that could help you rework your behavior patterns into something healthier for yourself and others?
i appreciate you’re transparency. awareness is a huge first step in making positive change
Severe procrastination combined with anxiety depression and ADHD literally ruined my life in every single way. Not kidding.
Welcome to the club🤣
Never been diagnosed but I'm always scared to start the things I want to do, yet I'm not afraid to do things I don't want to do. Fucking sucks bro
What are we looking to figure about this video besides how it's making people feel more ansiety or be hard on themselves ?
@@haunusi1728 idk man, all I know is it's alright to feel that way. As cliche as that sounds lol
@@haunusi1728 the point is for self-awareness. It's really hard to take a step in the right direction to getting better when you don't even know what your issues are.
For those in a hurry, here are the 7:
1. Perfectionism
2. Procrastination
3. Overworking Yourself
4. Passive Aggressive
5. Co-Dependency
6. Social Avoidance and Withdrawal
7. Excessive Regret
I have all of these. What to do?
@@kamalkrishnabaral same
@@kamalkrishnabaral please someone respond to this comment.
It hurts me knowing that I have all of these issues and I have problems that need to be fixed. I have moments where I’m doing good and then moments where I’m going backwards and it’s a tiring cycle that I just want to overcome for good and be a better version of myself. My toxic family members have influenced me negatively and it’s something I wish I never had to go thru bc I’ve hurt a lot of people and I regret it all… the good that could come from this is recognizing ur issues and knowing that there’s solutions to fix them.
Your comment really resonated with me. I feel exactly the same way. I suppose it doesn’t help, but you’re not the only one! Getting better and changing your behavior is a slow process, but it can be done! I’m not saying it’s easy. But don’t give up. 🦋
I recently lost so many of my closest friends due to my insecurities as well as losing my crush. I shut myself away because of the personal tragedy and believed that nobody cared about me. It was a rough 1 week which affected me when I'm working. My friends have every right to be angry, they have every right not to forgive me, they have every right to feel betrayed by my actions, they gave so many chances and I broke it. Now, I'm all alone but it is not over, I will learn to pick myself back up and be better.
I LOVED art as a kid. I am also an extreme perfectionist as well as being very competitive. So when in art class I struggled to draw a pumpkin compared to all the others kids, I stopped drawing and convinced myself that I hated it. Now all of the sudden I’m finding that it’s something that I love and hate doing. I struggle with getting everything perfect and so can’t really do it thanks to that habit
Literally, this is what I dealt with for having, achieving perfection. meaning nobody name calling you in disgrace, doing your chores as the person you respect intended, and getting the chores completed before the time runs out.
That regret thing is something I still deal with to this day.
I know that what I did is the best I could because it's what I did in the end.
But I still feel ashamed of some things , some for good reason.
Sometimes validation makes things worse.
Some people do and take the people that care for them for granted sometimes there is no answers on your own.
We are social creatures after all.
And how everything is with positivity only.
It's so hard to find someone to just hear you out. When you're not having such a good day or life...
I really like Brandon’s voice over work here. He has the perfect tone, sound level and cadence. I really like that he is not a low talker. Low talkers are really frustrating to listen to.
I think the only one of these I don't do is being passive-aggressive....... seeing that all at once kinda hit hard.
out of all this in my life me being passive-aggressive is my default mode(mainly for doing something that I don't want to do, thus resulting eating up most of my day to do it, but I will help(main explanation it gets old) so it me venting before saying yes) then minorly I have occasional thought of perfectionism(dating/relationship), regret(dating), then 50/50 about social avoidance cause sometimes (tired/ not in the mood), and I'm a very introverted person(even on my down time)
Thank you so much, I love being able to do this on a break. It reminds me to stay confident and keep trying even well I can feel crushed. You/y'all are so helpful to me.💙
Last one really hit hard, I struggeld for more then 7 years with the feeling regret that transformed into guilt over time, And the feeling of guilt is way worse then regret
I feel like guilt and regret are very closely connected. Although I think guilt might be easier to forgive because if you didn’t do something on purpose to hurt someone, then you should probably forgive yourself. I’m talking to myself as well. But the regret over losing the time that I had with someone will probably stay with me forever. I can’t imagine it going away. I guess we’re just supposed to live with it. I hope you can find something that will bring you some joy, or at least some peace. I’m hoping that for me, too!
@@whitebirchtarot i started forgiving my self and accepting it happend like 2 years ago during the covid pendemic and i'm more then happy with my self and i'm able to let the hard things go more easier
@@KevinR22 good for you! That takes strength and self-love. 💕
Excessive perfectionism is horrible for you. I know. My first panic attack happened due to perfectionism preventing me from finishing a work I found passion in, even 2 weeks past deadline. Chest pains, (near heart attack) rapid heart rate, sweating, overwhelming anxiety, the whole lot.
I’ve been through serious sh!t, but I’ve only ever been through the worst when my own mind holds itself to such a standard I’ve heard others praise me for.
I’ve only ever had 3 in my entire life. Every time… it was my inability to live up to my own expectations.
I’ve only ever had 3 because I’ve let go. I know I will have more as I experience more new things, but by letting go, I won’t have them happen for the same reason.
I’ve let go that I can’t always make perfect works of art.
I’ve let go of not being there to always defend those I love.
And I’ve let go of a girl I loved, but never loved me back.
1. Perfectionism
2. Procrastination
3. Overworking
4. Passive aggressiveness
5. Codependency
6. Social isolation
7. Excessive regret
Am I the only one relating to all of these to some extent?
I think I need a video on working to fix these habits
Yes agreed to some extent me too
Who else has been watching Psych2go for a long time? Thank you so much for these informative videos! You dont know how much it helps ❤
Procrastination and perfectionism are personality traits so you just need to learn how to express those traits in a positive way ❤️🌈
As someone who dabbles in Astrology every now and then, I find myself feeling conflicted with statements like this sometimes, especially with procrastination. I used to not struggle with it growing up, but as of lately off and on, I've been finding myself getting frustrated because I know that procrastination isn't healthy- yet at the same time, this is a habit that is very much linked to my problems with focus/getting easily distracted. I know I can't wish away my ADD nor is it healthy for me to work against it, and using Astrology to help me work around these things is a slow work in progress.... If I end up resigning to the idea that procrastination isn't inherently bad, then why does it feel so hard to maintain a healthy balance?
procrastination is NOT a personality trait, it’s a coping mechanism that usually stems from fear of failure. and neither is perfectionism, which can hold you back from growing, allowing yourself do to things ‘not perfectly’ and learn from them.
edit: both of these are bad btw. allow yourself to make mistakes and find out what’s causing you to procrastinate.
Oh boy, can't wait to see what's wrong with me and find ways to fix that. Thanks for the video!
0:43 - perfectionism
1:54 - procrastination
3:09 - overworking yourself
4:01 - passive aggressiveness
5:02 - codependency
6:01 - social avoidance and withdrawal
7:14 - excessive regret
youre welcome
Tysmm
I love the voice over. So nicely spoken,, fluent and no up-wording. It's very calming because it sound so natural. THANX
According to The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control - A Path to Peace and Power, perfectionists, even though they could be what you say, have produced some of the best things in society. The book even talks about five types of perfectionists: Classic, Intense, Messy, Parisian, and Procrastinator. Just thought you should know.
That’s a lot of understanding, but we’re all humans even when we do something wrong!
A lot of people don't have anyone to talk to or anyone to tell them... what's wrong sadly
#3: I decided to take 6 classes this semester and work part time at the same time. Definitely regret it. Bit more than I could chew :/
Thank you for sharing this video. I always feel these types of videos help people that fall into one or more of the categories described. My brother tends to have excessive regret. We tell him that you can't change the past, but if you regret something, use that in your future encounters & avoid it next time. There is a lot to be learned from past mistakes. God Bless You & stay safe.
May I ask how he is dealing with it? I just realised, that I have spend the last 5 years with regreting something and I do not know how to get out of it.
@@tobio1988 He seems to continue to live in the past. I wish he could understand we all have things we regret from our past, but cannot change. We can only monitor our present behavior and hope we don't make that same mistake again.
Is it easy to distinguish what to do, or not to do? For example: I had a realtionship that went really south, but we have a child together, so I have to see this person multiple times a week, despite the fact, that she is quite often toxic, blames me for things I have nothing to do with and so on.
Right now I cant even say what the misstep is I made and I shoud better avoid. I cant decide if I should not trust people? Avoid relationships? Avoid toxic people? And if I try to avoid toxic people. How to spot them before they are to deep in my life?
I hope I dont bother you with this. I already see that I have to talk to one or more good friends about this.
@@tobio1988 You aren't bothering me. That sounds like a rough situation. It seems you will have to learn to compromise with one another for the sake of your child. You have to avoid arguing and make decisions TOGETHER. I know that sounds difficult, but pray about it & God will give you the strength to deal with your situation. God Bless You & stay safe.
@@tobio1988 excuse me for butting into your conversation, but I’m dealing with learning when to trust people. I used to trust people until they proved to me that they couldn’t be trusted and that isn’t turning out so well! So my new process is to insist that people earn my trust. And remember that people’s actions speak louder than their words, so don’t be fooled by sweet talkers. You will know in your gut whether someone is really trustworthy or not if you sit with it in silence and listen to what your heart is telling you. Good luck!
Everybody is doomed..just learn to go with it..there's no secret of better life..just live with it..afterall we all will die..and be forgotten..
bro i just want to be happy again
Loved the animations! This was a great video to reflect on. Thank you!
Thank you so much psych2go for making all these videos. This makes a positive impact on a lot of people and should be shown in schools
Aww... It's like, you chose to make a vision board of my life! No really though, the social isolation of the pandemic was nothing compared to what it reminded me of in childhood. At least we all got to be isolated together. Passive aggression is another of my big ones, I could probably write a book on codependency, and regret... Sounds like an issue. Forgot the other ones already though. But, that didn't stop me from feeling them. I just hope, honestly, that no one has to turn out the way I did.
How do you guys always know want I need at what time?? 😖 This channel is my comfort place thank you so much I am still very greatful to the day I found your channel I remember how did i finded it thanks again please never stop making these videos
This is giving me wellcast vibes...and I love it!
Thanks so much for the how to talk to your crush one it helped me a lot ❤❤
My rizz is unmatched now
I just realize I avoided everything on the list recently
I’ll be the first to admit I hate going out and talking to people. I’m happiest locked in my apartment alone with my fish and my plants. those things bring me great joy. Is this ruining my life? Maybe but I’m having a great time so maybe it isn’t?
This helped me get warmed and be calmer
Damn, I have all these with social avoidance and excessive regret being at the peak. I don't know why, but in college I'm unable to make friends. I just don't feel like it nor do I feel any connection with them, but I'm also jealous and envious of those who are friends or are in a relationship. I do interact more with my older friends from high school and primary school, but none of them are with me in college now...
32. Your videos has helped me alot. Thank you.🙏🏻
Can you do a video in relation to this in which you confront these issues and give tips on how to help get it under control, with me being a lot of these I can’t really see anyway to help get better I just see what’s wrong with what I do.
Or if you’ve done videos on the subjects already, to maybe link those in the description or add to the little info button at the top?
Could be helpful to those like me seeing themselves in this and having no clue on how to get control of it :)
Hope you and your team have a wonderful day/night :3
Take care and stay safe
I’m definitely a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist has made me limit myself in so many ways. I’m a musician. So I feel like in order to be a musician, I can’t cry, because musicians don’t cry. Music is supposed to make those feelings of anger, sadness, depression and stuff disappear forever. Musicians are supposed to be happy 24/7 with no struggles in life. Music has so much power. I also tend to limit myself when it comes to things that benefit my blindness, autism and CPTSD. I really need to work on this.
Who says musicians don’t cry? Artists are usually very sensitive and music to me is the thing that triggers my emotions the most. You probably need to cry. A lot. Nobody ever said musicians are supposed to be happy. Art is a way of releasing pain. Don’t be so hard on yourself! 💕💕
@@whitebirchtarot thanks so much for the wonderful words. I honestly don’t know where I came up with this theory. I definitely do have a tendency to limit myself. I don’t just limit myself with this, I limit myself with other things too.
@@siennaprice1351 I imagine it’s some kind of conditioning when you were younger, but if you start examining why you’re limiting yourself, maybe you can get to the bottom of it. Limitations can be useful of course, but too much will keep you from following your heart and really being at one with yourself. Our relationship with ourselves has a lot to do with how our relationships with others turn out, as you probably have discovered. I’m glad you didn’t tell me to mind my own business! I was just offering a thought. Good luck to you! The world needs artists, especially right now! Art has always saved my life in one way or another. So thank you. 💕
@@whitebirchtarot I would never tell you to mind your own business. I’ll give you a little back story on why I do this. So, first off, I was born with a rare brain condition called Septo Optic Dysplasia, which caused me to be born totally blind, it also caused me to be on the autism spectrum and a few other things. I would do certain things because of my blindness and autism, and people would limit me because they wanted me to fit in with society, when these things weren’t hurting me, but others felt uncomfortable about me doing them, so I now limit myself from doing them. I also have CPTSD from many years of abuse and limitation from others. I wasn’t allowed to be my true self. I wasn’t allowed to rock, I wasn’t allowed to explore things. I couldn’t run into things without being either laughed at or judged. I couldn’t spill things or knock things over. I couldn’t have meltdowns. I couldn’t use my coping skills, all I could do was “suck it up, and deal with it. Because what was my f*cking problem?” This is what they would say to me. But I’m working on this.
yeah I mean..I relate to most of these, but some more than others. whenever I start thinking of writing a comment, like a vent comment, I just think "yea no I'd just be manipulating people to feel bad for me.." which is kinda what i'm probably doing here, I probably am pretty passive aggressive, if I wasn't I'd have lost my friend by now (or just be manipulative towards them) by saying their stupid, don't deserve anything, why I'm correct, they're wrong... but I don't care enough to change. I procrastinate a lot and want to be alone when I work. I don't want to be near anyone, it's so awkward. I feel the need to be perfect when i'm next to someone...I don't overwork. I basically bottle up any anger I have (which is usually a lot..) and just want to isolate myself so I don't have to deal with the people that make me mad. sorry for the paragraph
I absolutely love this animation style!
I recognize some of these behaviors in me. Some of them are really severe(?) I'm really close to giving up. I'm hurting a lot of people around me because of these. These behaviors have been interfering in my daily life and making it harder to live on. Even the basic things are hard for me to do. I don't want this kind of life anymore. Is there a way to maybe, stop or lessen these behaviors in me?
Sorry, English is not my first language. Forgive me for any grammatical error and I'm really not good at expressing myself. I hope you understood what I was trying to say.
Don’t give up! Is there any way you can get some kind of mental health therapy? I’m not saying that you’re mentally ill; it just sounds like you could use someone professional to talk to you to help you with your issues. That has really helped me. Otherwise I don’t think I would be here. And yes, there’s always a way to change your behavior unless you’re unfortunate enough to be severely mentally ill, but it does not sound to me like you are. You’re very self-aware. And as an ex ESL teacher, your English is excellent! Please take care of yourself. 💕💕 you can do it! Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step. Most people don’t even know that!
Can someone please put the time stamps!
I like the narrator's voice. I Will be listening to more of your tutorials again.
Have a lot of work to do. It’ll help being able to talk about my mental health, and perhaps even get therapy
This was good one! Thank you
Really haven’t been myself lately with issues with my job and live life. I really hope this video helps
Thank u for being so amazing and so good, u guys are so amazing
Thank you 💜🤲
wait where is the female voice? I love her calming tone
Shared!
I got every single one except for the passive aggressive one and this feels like a personal attack
Me with all of these symptoms
"I wonder why I'm like this 🤔"
Your video's are really helpful
Woah, I can really relate to this.
I like the music ;)
The music was so loud.... the points were not clear, but thank you for the lesson.
I'm lost. I can't understand anything. I can only regret. I lost courage to do something. I don't know why I act the way I act. I don't know who controls me. Everything is getting worse and worse and here I'm.....😢
Can you afford to see a therapist? Sounds like it would be helpful. Good luck.
I'm so glad I have little to no regrets so far 😌
Who’s this new guy talking? Nice peaceful voice like the gal who usually speaks ✨💫💫😊
Overworking myself in home projects, has a therapeutic effect. There is nothing wrong with physically working hard to use it as tharapy. At home, I will work my hands until they bleed and I am exhausted doing all I can to service, repair, upgrade, everything I own, including advanced items. As far as social avoidance, I find nothing wrong with that. I require no help from anybody. I am always doing something challenging at home to keep me working hard and occupied. That requires no social connection nor interaction. Everything else on the list, I have never done, nor will I ever.
put 1 and 2 together and scale it up to 5 and that's my personality right there
I am literally procrastinating while watching this video at 3 am
Everything applies, everything, even the nuggets of information apply to my situation, even some comments are relatable, I really am doomed, am I not?
0:32 meme!
Oh...you watch these too!
I don’t really care about my mental health, I just hope everything I’m doing will be good for my future and give me good amounts of money
I love the new voice!👍
First! Love your work 🤗
Third*
you weren’t first i was lol 😅
lol you edited it !! i was just playing anyway
I was fifth 🎉🎉
The horrifying thing is I'm currently doing all of this. Are the any excercises anyone can recommend?
A good therapist if you can afford it, being mindful of what you’re thinking, saying, feeling, and doing. Writing down things that trigger you. Making a list at the end of the day about things you could have done better or differently. Being kind to yourself. Doing things that you enjoy. Doing things for others. Being out in nature. Making another list at the end of the day of things you’re grateful for, even if it’s only one. Believing that you can change if you really try, but be easy on yourself while you’re doing it because it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
I'm so glad you make your videos
Well then, I got everything except for the co-dependency since I'm unable to fall for anybody, don't even know if this is emotional blocks or independence at this point.
Extensively times that step we are afraid to take might just be the right one. Thank you, Dr Igho for your Inducement and for not allowing me down throughout the whole revolution. Your Medication that I am Delighted I came across your channel
I’ve witnessed all these traits in some of the people who are closest to me, and it feels like they’re the root cause of my parents’ abusive and cynical behaviour, not just toward me but also toward each other, as well as other aspects of society, some of them irrational and/or conjectured. 👥
Honestly, I’ve been so torn between feeling bad for them and making sure they’re okay, and making sure my own needs and wellbeing are maintained to a sufficient capacity, that it’s ultimately led to a severely degraded quality of life, one I must handle without most of the same societal structures and supports that so many take for granted… 💔
If there’s one upside to this, it’s that I’m able to recognise the signs and behavioural patterns that make it easier to navigate toxic individuals with a certain level of finesse and compassion, enough to make sure all needs and duties are met while ensuring my still-honing boundaries, self-image and wellbeing are kept stable and healthy. 😌
Wow, it sounds like maybe you need to be a little nicer to yourself. It sounds like your family is quite a burden. I know the feeling and it’s really not good for you not to take care of yourself. I’m sure you already know that. You sound like a very strong person. Take care. 💕💕
@@whitebirchtarot Somehow I’ve managed by sheer force of will, though it’s started taking a noticeable toll… 😅
Thank you for your kind words. I’ve been finding my voice since 2017, when it first became clear that things needed to change, and while there’s still a ways to go, it’s gotten _so_ much easier with experience and loads of patience. 😌
@@RyanJZacher yes, that’s the problem with caring so much for others. It really does take a toll on our health. It sounds like you know what you’re doing though and that you have a lot of patience, and you’re right, it is necessary! Good luck to you. It’s so nice to find caring people in the world.💕
@@whitebirchtarot Likewise. 😊
Pls can you make video about how to deal with annoying people
Funny how this is the exact order of behaviors I developed from childhood to present...
My friend used to have perfectionism, and when she wasn't my friend anymore, I deeply pitied her. Her life had been wasted and ruined for her only because of her perfectionism. I wonder what she's up to now.
In Indian culture, overworking and ignoring your feelings is the main motto. Feelings lead nowhere, only work does. Education is the only success. But this isn't true, Indian culture itself is toxic, please tune into your feelings and find peace with them rather than suppressing them.
You have to learn to depend on yourself, not only others, because you will be lost and you will be confused about so many things when you grow up.
Even introverts need socializing, even if they don't speak, or collaborate. Please don't avoid people because you're an introvert.
Finally, life is full of regrets, and even I regret things so many times.
"Ohh
Thank you Psych2Go 😊😊.
I do so many of these 😔
Do you read comments? Im curious about it xD
Your videos help my depression thanks
oooo more voiceover hosts; keep growing psych2go!
😊😊😊
Gj bro
What a fantastic video have a good night
True 😭
I have them all, except procrastination, I suffer the opposite: Precrastination. Living is a fkn martyrdom since I had never choose be as I am.
why did your
voice change
I have some of the trails
Timestamps
1). Perfertionism 0:43
2). Procastination 1:54
3). Overworking yourself 3:09
4). Passive-aggressiveness 4:01
5). Co-dependency 5:02
6). Social avoidance and withdrawal 6:01
7). Excessive regret 7:13
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Can you please talk about factious disorder
It's not me. It's them. Why? Because they focus on me too much. That's the issue. Trying to lay snares and trip me up.
Did this channel change its narrator?
Could You make Your videos a bit louder and more uniform in sound volume?
Oh, yeah, I do all these ...
I’m the perfectionist. I’m scared for my parents to think that I’m a failure
I’m scared for them to leave me
I really don’t want that to happen and it’s hard because I have Adhd
I don’t want them to think I’m a failure