I am a trans woman and while I can’t speak for that person I can say that I would forgive you in this situation. It’s nice to hear a fellow Virginian speak out on things that they have done. I personally live in an area where being me is quite hard and dangerous. But one person at a time.
I've just watched this after watching the video where you talk about your journey from Christianity into atheism. I myself have been an atheist for decades now, but I'm still interested in hearing about how other people arrived at the same realizations I did. So I read blogs about the subject, listen to podcasts, watch videos. There are so many smart and articulate people talking about atheism and debating the inconsistencies of religion, and the outright harm that those kind of beliefs brings upon people and the world. And I have to say, among all the voices I've listened to so far, yours is the one that's touched me the most. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, being an atheist in the Bible belt, how frightening and alienating that must feel. I admire your sincerity and your courage more than I can say. Too many times all the greed and ugliness out there feels so overwhelming, and it's people like you who keep my faith in reason and kindness alive. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us; the message you're sending to people is not only positive and beautiful, it's also sorely needed.
I'd wager that the violent nature of the verbal assault was more frightening than your actual insults, Joe. I'm not transgender, but I am a lesbian and I have been verbally assaulted, in my 20's, and typically by people under the influence of alcohol. I'd call it more of a hit and run than what you did, but it can be frightening either way. Once the fear of assault has passed, the reality sets in that life is not safe in or out of the church. You either survive it or you don't. I feel for those who's nature is more sensitive and maybe severely affected by such instances, but most of us experienced our harsh reality at a very young age at the hands of our family and the church, so any stranger having the ability to truly hurt us is rare. Scare physically, yes but emotionally hurt, no. We all of something we would like to take back. I have said many things to others in my youth that were brought on because of insecurity within myself and I directed my hurt and anger at the wrong people and regretted it, unfortunately after the fact. I think most of us grow up, as you have, and do become more human with age. You never forget the things you did in your youth that nagged at your conscience, that is if you had one to begin with, and you clearly had it then but didn't apply it at the time. It think we can all think of at least one time of being guilty of that. It takes courage to publicly acknowledge wrong doing as openly as you have here. In less than 13 minutes you restore my faith in the ability of human beings to make lasting changes in their lives that will hearten many more lives. Your words will make up for many verbal insults, that have long been forgotten by the targets of those insults. I retired to a very small town with a church on every corner... you know... that place where most of our negative attitudes originated and became enshrined. My friends tried to talk me out of moving here because they feared for my safety. But we all grew up with prejudices and attitudes that were not rational, no matter what part of the country or world we came from, and it's up to us not to pass them down to our children and grandchildren. I was always uncomfortable around Japanese people, and I didn't know why. I learned at about 22 that my father would run around the house saying terrible things about Japan and it's people when I was very young. As a child I didn't understand my fathers rantings, but then I didn't have to, to be affected by them. Had I never put two and two together I might have carried that discomfort and prejudice through out my life. I also learned about that same age that my christian fundamentalist parents were also prejudice toward black people which they justified with the bible. Lucky for me they never spoke about it and spared me that particular infection. If people only realized where so much shame and guilt and needless bigotry originated, we all might be further ahead then we are, but people and ideas change slowly, and we often have to experience ugly times in order to learn. Sadly we seem to be going through some heavy duty growing pains once again. One step forward and two steps back.. You give me hope that in a time when the extremism of the christian right is flexing it's muscles in Washington, more people are questioning long held attitudes that poison the heart and send us careening backwards in time.. I am not the person you assaulted, Joe, but if I were I would forgive you and give you a big awkward hug. I'm not much of a crier either, but I got extremely close to it.
You're already a "better person" and thanks for standing up to be counted! 😉 When I was growing up it was more, or less, common for people of my generation and older to be casually and even overtly racist. It's not something I'm proud of now and I make every effort to challenge it whenever I encounter it. Re the gay situation. I would add, that it's not always obvious who is/isn't gay and casual homophobia is still rife. It's possible that someone among your friends who were involved in that incident were *themselves* gay/bisexual, yet stayed silent. Being gay myself, I did that too growing up, as I was not "obvious." I wouldn't do it now..but here's the good bit..nowadays, many more LGBTQ people are out and visible and people have come to realize that we're not "out there" somewhere, but your siblings, aunts, uncles, children, work colleagues and best mates and more and more people, like yourself, are not prepared to put up with homophobia (or racism/sexism) when they encounter it! It makes for a much better world in the end IMO..😉
I get that. I rejected my best friend when i realised she was gay. I hated her cos of christianity but was attracted to her at the same time, i felt so horrible. 10 years later, i've deconverted. I remember her telling me religion is a trap but i was so scared cos of hell, i just had to block that out. I feel like she'd forgive me, but i can't forgive myself, cos i miss her so much.
Goddamn, you re a good man. I can say this bc I to, had such a ill placed contempt.... and dude I've done a complete change of mind. I don't understand who I was back then. I was also racist. When I open up to my gay or black friends I sometimes worry they won't believe I'm not even close to that person anymore but you know what, I've been met with solid handshakes, hugs, looks of unbelief turned to a shine in their eyes. I'm an atheist (former christian) so I won't say God bless you but I will say "be blessed brother". Takes real guts to come out like this. I know. Piece by peace, we'll get it right or get left behind in our humanities growth and hope for peace
Glad to hear you broke out of that. Thank you for making this, it takes strength to acknowledge wrongdoing, especially in such a public manner. Hope this video helps someone else to make a change for the better.
12:22 This is probably the best video you will ever be making. There is hope. It came from the heart. Apologies accepted. We all human, we all makes mistakes and there is always lot to learn.
As you've observed, your regrets and remorse are changing, gradually, into something you can live with; but you will never forget them, and you must never forget your former self. It's all part of who you've become and who you're becoming. Subscribed.
I know this video is two years old but I just found it. As a transwoman I wanted to say I hope you have forgiven yourself. I was raised in the bible belt in Alabama and was somewhat bigoted before accepting myself. The past is not who you are now and its important for you to forgive yourself. Thank you for making this video.
i'm not sure where all the generalizing started. all I know is it is part of this thing called the system. And we were all brainwashed into it. I have lots of gay friends now. But I was brought up undoubtedly by people who were also brought up to feel uncomfortable with anything different than whatever is considered "the norm". What I can say now is I am a pro gay, pro trans, pro multi cultural, pro atheist, pro straight edge, and pro vegan animal rights activist tree hugger. And if that is not okay with someone.. i'm not changing. So either take me out or deal with me as I am.
Thank you for posting this! From where I'm sitting, you're bring helpful to a lot of people on different levels. Growth is a process, and it's never easy, and it's often not even fun, but look at where you were and where you are! It's clear that you grew a lot, and for other people who are in the position that you were in, back then, you're showing them that it's possible to grow. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, whether they're trans, or something else, you're showing them that there's at least one more person out there who's not willing to hurt them. That counts for a lot, and you're right, you can't change the past, but you can be proud of the person you are NOW.
I think you did a great thing admitting what you did in the past and what you are doing to make a difference now. If more people were willing to change the world would be way better. Great job and keep it up.
Man, I thought I was was alone with my thoughts in the south. Living in Alabama makes it tough. I just wanted to say, thanks. I am an open atheist. However, my thoughts on how people should be treated are difficult to express. You nailed it. Just hearing your honesty, and how it almost mirrors my story, brought a tear to my eye for sure. It was also interesting your description of your "fall from grace". Your right it doesn't happen overnight. I am inspired by you. Keep up the good work.
Hard to admit those times we really screwed up. Takes a big person to do that. I understand why you say those things on Facebook or where ever. I do things like that too. I'm not a confrontational person, but I really try to stick up for people. My family thinks I've gone off the to the looney bin. Of course they blame my wife and my wife's family blames me. lol
What you did in the past was shitty and hopefully that person is ok. Your regret shows you have a conscience and can learn to be better. All you and any of us can do is go forward and be good influences on others and this planet regardless of what has happened before
thanks for sharing the story you cannot make up for the shit you did , you were influenced the really wrong impressions at that time , just look forward and learn from your mistakes life goes on no matter what
So far you are 3 for 3 not knowing or loving Jesus ... Jesus isn’t a racist or bigot and never was not even in the Old Testament This walk is by faith and spiritual NOT personal logic or emotional Just sayin
DONT TAKE THE MARK FOLKS OR THEIR IS NO HOPE .... if any of you below have ever at least read the Bible or can get your hands on one I challenge you to read Matthew 24 and Revelation 4 to the end and ask yourselves is this unfolding in front of my eye in October 2020 ...
Dude so far you're three for three. I think a lot of people will gain some hope of this. Thanks!
I am a trans woman and while I can’t speak for that person I can say that I would forgive you in this situation. It’s nice to hear a fellow Virginian speak out on things that they have done. I personally live in an area where being me is quite hard and dangerous. But one person at a time.
ჩႩჷჰ Wished Thank you.
I've just watched this after watching the video where you talk about your journey from Christianity into atheism. I myself have been an atheist for decades now, but I'm still interested in hearing about how other people arrived at the same realizations I did. So I read blogs about the subject, listen to podcasts, watch videos. There are so many smart and articulate people talking about atheism and debating the inconsistencies of religion, and the outright harm that those kind of beliefs brings upon people and the world. And I have to say, among all the voices I've listened to so far, yours is the one that's touched me the most. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, being an atheist in the Bible belt, how frightening and alienating that must feel. I admire your sincerity and your courage more than I can say. Too many times all the greed and ugliness out there feels so overwhelming, and it's people like you who keep my faith in reason and kindness alive. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us; the message you're sending to people is not only positive and beautiful, it's also sorely needed.
Thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me.
You have renewed my faith in humanity and given me new hope for family that are as you described your past self ... thanks man Keep it up!
I'd wager that the violent nature of the verbal assault was more frightening than your actual insults, Joe.
I'm not transgender, but I am a lesbian and I have been verbally assaulted, in my 20's, and typically by people under the influence of alcohol. I'd call it more of a hit and run than what you did, but it can be frightening either way. Once the fear of assault has passed, the reality sets in that life is not safe in or out of the church. You either survive it or you don't.
I feel for those who's nature is more sensitive and maybe severely affected by such instances, but most of us experienced our harsh reality at a very young age at the hands of our family and the church, so any stranger having the ability to truly hurt us is rare. Scare physically, yes but emotionally hurt, no.
We all of something we would like to take back. I have said many things to others in my youth that were brought on because of insecurity within myself and I directed my hurt and anger at the wrong people and regretted it, unfortunately after the fact.
I think most of us grow up, as you have, and do become more human with age.
You never forget the things you did in your youth that nagged at your conscience, that is if you had one to begin with, and you clearly had it then but didn't apply it at the time. It think we can all think of at least one time of being guilty of that.
It takes courage to publicly acknowledge wrong doing as openly as you have here.
In less than 13 minutes you restore my faith in the ability of human beings to make lasting changes in their lives that will hearten many more lives. Your words will make up for many verbal insults, that have long been forgotten by the targets of those insults.
I retired to a very small town with a church on every corner... you know... that place where most of our negative attitudes originated and became enshrined.
My friends tried to talk me out of moving here because they feared for my safety. But we all grew up with prejudices and attitudes that were not rational, no matter what part of the country or world we came from, and it's up to us not to pass them down to our children and grandchildren.
I was always uncomfortable around Japanese people, and I didn't know why. I learned at about 22 that my father would run around the house saying terrible things about Japan and it's people when I was very young. As a child I didn't understand my fathers rantings, but then I didn't have to, to be affected by them. Had I never put two and two together I might have carried that discomfort and prejudice through out my life.
I also learned about that same age that my christian fundamentalist parents were also prejudice toward black people which they justified with the bible. Lucky for me they never spoke about it and spared me that particular infection.
If people only realized where so much shame and guilt and needless bigotry originated, we all might be further ahead then we are, but people and ideas change slowly, and we often have to experience ugly times in order to learn. Sadly we seem to be going through some heavy duty growing pains once again.
One step forward and two steps back..
You give me hope that in a time when the extremism of the christian right is flexing it's muscles in Washington, more people are questioning long held attitudes that poison the heart and send us careening backwards in time..
I am not the person you assaulted, Joe, but if I were I would forgive you and give you a big awkward hug. I'm not much of a crier either, but I got extremely close to it.
J Richards Thanks so much for the kind words.
You are more than welcome, Joe. I look forward to your next thought provoking video.
You're in the 1% for your regrets and apologies now. You're a bigger man than most.
Balls of solid rock, that man.
Respect.
You're already a "better person" and thanks for standing up to be counted! 😉
When I was growing up it was more, or less, common for people of my generation and older to be casually and even overtly racist.
It's not something I'm proud of now and I make every effort to challenge it whenever I encounter it.
Re the gay situation. I would add, that it's not always obvious who is/isn't gay and casual homophobia is still rife. It's possible that someone among your friends who were involved in that incident were *themselves* gay/bisexual, yet stayed silent.
Being gay myself, I did that too growing up, as I was not "obvious."
I wouldn't do it now..but here's the good bit..nowadays, many more LGBTQ people are out and visible and people have come to realize that we're not "out there" somewhere, but your siblings, aunts, uncles, children, work colleagues and best mates and more and more people, like yourself, are not prepared to put up with homophobia (or racism/sexism) when they encounter it! It makes for a much better world in the end IMO..😉
I get that. I rejected my best friend when i realised she was gay. I hated her cos of christianity but was attracted to her at the same time, i felt so horrible. 10 years later, i've deconverted. I remember her telling me religion is a trap but i was so scared cos of hell, i just had to block that out. I feel like she'd forgive me, but i can't forgive myself, cos i miss her so much.
You should be proud of the person you've become.
I hope they see this video....I'm so inspired by people who face their past and stand up and face it, admit it, and move on to be better. love...
Thank you!
We all make mistakes. Looking back and learning from it can be hard. To do it publicly online shows a truly great character.
Goddamn, you re a good man. I can say this bc I to, had such a ill placed contempt.... and dude I've done a complete change of mind. I don't understand who I was back then. I was also racist. When I open up to my gay or black friends I sometimes worry they won't believe I'm not even close to that person anymore but you know what, I've been met with solid handshakes, hugs, looks of unbelief turned to a shine in their eyes. I'm an atheist (former christian) so I won't say God bless you but I will say "be blessed brother". Takes real guts to come out like this. I know. Piece by peace, we'll get it right or get left behind in our humanities growth and hope for peace
Thank you for sharing what everybody else wishes and wants to come forward about.
Those people may have been proud of you for spewing hate but you have a lot more people even more proud of you for denouncing it now.
Glad to hear you broke out of that. Thank you for making this, it takes strength to acknowledge wrongdoing, especially in such a public manner. Hope this video helps someone else to make a change for the better.
12:22 This is probably the best video you will ever be making. There is hope. It came from the heart. Apologies accepted. We all human, we all makes mistakes and there is always lot to learn.
Thank you.
As you've observed, your regrets and remorse are changing, gradually, into something you can live with; but you will never forget them, and you must never forget your former self. It's all part of who you've become and who you're becoming. Subscribed.
I know this video is two years old but I just found it. As a transwoman I wanted to say I hope you have forgiven yourself. I was raised in the bible belt in Alabama and was somewhat bigoted before accepting myself.
The past is not who you are now and its important for you to forgive yourself.
Thank you for making this video.
Casey Edwards Thank you so much!
i'm not sure where all the generalizing started. all I know is it is part of this thing called the system. And we were all brainwashed into it. I have lots of gay friends now. But I was brought up undoubtedly by people who were also brought up to feel uncomfortable with anything different than whatever is considered "the norm". What I can say now is I am a pro gay, pro trans, pro multi cultural, pro atheist, pro straight edge, and pro vegan animal rights activist tree hugger. And if that is not okay with someone.. i'm not changing. So either take me out or deal with me as I am.
Thank you for posting this! From where I'm sitting, you're bring helpful to a lot of people on different levels. Growth is a process, and it's never easy, and it's often not even fun, but look at where you were and where you are! It's clear that you grew a lot, and for other people who are in the position that you were in, back then, you're showing them that it's possible to grow. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, whether they're trans, or something else, you're showing them that there's at least one more person out there who's not willing to hurt them. That counts for a lot, and you're right, you can't change the past, but you can be proud of the person you are NOW.
Yes! Thanks, that's all we can do. I'm trying my best.
I think you did a great thing admitting what you did in the past and what you are doing to make a difference now. If more people were willing to change the world would be way better. Great job and keep it up.
Joe-
As you said, you can't go back and change it, but you can continue working on be a better man than you were the previous day.
Good man. When we know better and we do better...that matters. Thanks
Man, I thought I was was alone with my thoughts in the south. Living in Alabama makes it tough. I just wanted to say, thanks. I am an open atheist. However, my thoughts on how people should be treated are difficult to express. You nailed it. Just hearing your honesty, and how it almost mirrors my story, brought a tear to my eye for sure. It was also interesting your description of your "fall from grace". Your right it doesn't happen overnight. I am inspired by you. Keep up the good work.
Hard to admit those times we really screwed up. Takes a big person to do that. I understand why you say those things on Facebook or where ever. I do things like that too. I'm not a confrontational person, but I really try to stick up for people. My family thinks I've gone off the to the looney bin. Of course they blame my wife and my wife's family blames me. lol
Big props man, we all make mistakes.
This took guts...I love this .
Dude, you’re awesome
Change is the universal constant. Good to see you've turned your to the better.
Bro this is awesome. Thank you for sharing.
Hats off to you, it takes courage to commit to change!
Past infects ones presence. Hardest thing to do is to atone for the past and to live in the present. Happy life to you man.
Man you are legit keep it up. Just found your channel.
love it man. way to be strong.
Love this video.
What you did in the past was shitty and hopefully that person is ok. Your regret shows you have a conscience and can learn to be better. All you and any of us can do is go forward and be good influences on others and this planet regardless of what has happened before
This is real. He sounds like Brett Favre.
RESPECT!
thanks for sharing the story
you cannot make up for the shit you did , you were influenced the really wrong impressions at that time , just look forward and learn from your mistakes
life goes on no matter what
This is beautiful and brave.
Keep keepin' it real :)
Subscribed.
So far you are 3 for 3 not knowing or loving Jesus ... Jesus isn’t a racist or bigot and never was not even in the Old Testament
This walk is by faith and spiritual NOT personal logic or emotional
Just sayin
DONT TAKE THE MARK FOLKS OR THEIR IS NO HOPE .... if any of you below have ever at least read the Bible or can get your hands on one I challenge you to read Matthew 24 and Revelation 4 to the end and ask yourselves is this unfolding in front of my eye in October 2020 ...