Malört Mixology: A Very Dirty Martini AKA The Malörtini
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 พ.ค. 2022
- Think you've had a dirty martini? Malört says to think again!
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You are now needing to make the Negrört. A Malört Negroni: 1 OZ each Malört, Campari, and Sweet Vermouth. Stirred with ice to dilute and chill, and served with an orange slice.
All the bitter
I wonder if a sub Campari version might be a "mid-boss" version to try before the main event.
this is satanic
This is the content we need.
@@GasparLewis i think it would be closer to a malörtinez than a Negroni if you subbed out campari
I like to watch PV3 suffer as much as the next guy, but this one crossed a line. I want to reward him with a "like" for toughing it out, but this was really painful to watch.
The sculpture crawling in the background is an artistic interpretation of what I'd imagine Malört to be like.
Pine is on all fours dry heaving- the depiction of what happens AFTER drinking Malort.
I don't think I've ever seen PV3 have such an immediate, visceral reaction to taking a sip of something. Even to the worst of the things we've seen him try. This must be really, *really* bad.
I’m looking forward to the Malort Long Island iced tea. 1 part Malort, 1 part Malort, 1 part Malort, 1 part Malort, 1 part triple sec, 1 part sour mix. Shake over ice, add a splash of cola, and serve in a Collins glass. Perfection! 🤪🤢🤮
the most diabolical cocktail ever made, the geneva convention could consider it a war crime
A "Wrong Island", perhaps
A Molort White Russian would be phenomenal!
Hasn't the poor man suffered enough?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the malort fumes alone would make milk curdle.
The vibe in the first half was defeat. Second half? Defeat … but with a dash of ‘will PV3 make it one more round?’ #death2malort
There is a disturbingly large amount of Malört left in that bottle... I fear for PV3...
Will this series keep going until that bottle of Malort is empty or has someone sent an extra bottle or five? I also can't help but notice your art model doll thing is crying for help.
How can you be sure you gave an honest review without swishing it around in your mouth? The flavor profile is completely different that way!
LOL
If he did this, I think his stomach contents would be the thing we'd be seeing out of his mouth
Getting to come this early without emotional damage is a good feeling.
You should have a Patreon, and if people give enough you never have to have Malort again!
"Pardon my French but it tastes like fucking shit". I fucking love you man
Either a negroni or a french 75! I would love to see you pair the malort with some lemon and sparkling wine
Thank you for not subjugating Spittoon to the Malörtini. I feel like Preston's lil' woodie in the background was foreshadowing the results.
I miss the convenience store reviews. Those were amazing
Would love to see the malort mudslide!
LOL. That face when he first tastes it is meme gold.
OMG! 🤣 Next: And an 'Old Fashioned' Malort. I wanna see the orange slice and cherry scream in horror. Or, the Malortattan. The possibilities are endless.
I totally love your videos. Also as someone from the Chicagoland are I do believe that drink was made by demons from the deepest depths of hell.
I needed this. Thanks for making me smile. 😊
I could tell he liked it by the surprise smile and gag he had on his face.
I think the only combo that might be worse is if you made a white Russian. Malort + milk/cream makes me gag just thinking about it
Whoa, calm down there satan. That's just wrong. 🤢
A white gopnik? A Gag russian?
Loved it, PV! Your facial expressions and the spitting were great entertainment. Keep it up.
Good God, you have the heart of a trooper, King
Man i was feeling really bad today and this just made me laugh. Thank you so much for everything you do and I'm sorry you have to suffer!
I think this is the first time I’ve seen such pure anger on his face.
Before I started watching PV3, I never even heard of Malort. I still can't figure out how anyone can stomach this stuff.
Dry heaving my favorite
Yes, another malört mixology episode! 😄
the day has finally come, thank you PV3 you beautiful man
Malortbombs, like Jagerbombs but with Malort, so just redbull and Malort lol
“I just want to leave” sent me. Please do a Malory Paloma. Palomas are my favorite.
PV3 is a warrior. A warrior of the spirit. To all the downtrodden, smile-through-the-struggle Hide The Pain Harolds out there...HIS one's for you.
This wouldn't be had by James Bond, it would be consumed by Bond, Bail Bond.
This is the reward a bail jumper needs! 😅
With every sip, he dies for our sins. He is truely doing Malört's work.
It’s so good. As soon as it touches your lips.
That was a heroic effort.
Waiting for the inevitable glass being thrown violently at the wall after an exceptionally bad malört cocktail
It was so bad that he did not spit into the spitoon, that is impressive.
Sorry for the pain! We Chicagoans are proud of you!
We’re contemplating a Sex on the Beach, except it’s Sex in a Swamp… using Malört, because gross. 😁
I just dry heaved a little when I read this 😂
New to this channel and glad I stumbled across here!
This series is making me curious about Malort, but thankfully I live in the south so distance from Chicago is saving me from myself.
“I just want to leave.” MOOD
Was not expecting the 2:02 comment. Lmao brilliant
The Long Island Iced Malort:
15 ml Malort
15 ml Malort
15 ml White Malort
15 ml Malort
15 ml Malort
30 ml Lemon juice
20 ml simple syrup
Top with Cola
I assume that's what is served in lounge bars in hell.
You just killed PV3...RIP
Poor poor man, this is your own personal circle of hell. Wake up every morning to do malört videos. A camera attended by a demon. A large horned figure in the directors chair. Very cinematic.
Anyway, great content, as always
i must again request the bloody malört, i will continue to do so until you concede sir
An actual spit-take. Impressive.
I'm going to be so impressed if he accidentally finds a combination that makes a good drink.
I demand the making of the Ort Fashioned! a new classic for the ages...
Damnit Spittoon, I'm a sommelier not a mixologist. #Spittoon #Algorithm
Do a malört-tai! There’s a million ways to make a mai tai, so maybe one variation could be at least partially palatable with malört
And for a holiday special, a Peppermint Malortini. 2oz Malort, 1oz Peppermint Schnapps, 1/2 oz Creme de Cocao, martini glass rimmed in shards of candy cane. All that sugar has to help, amirite?
Him and the How To Drink guy would be a fun episode, I think.
I had a pickletini the other day and I was surprisingly good. I love pickles and I realize that flavor combination for people who aren’t exactly the biggest fans of pickles would be really turned off by that flavor combination.
I love to drink the pickle juice. Especially when I'm drinking or was drinking the night before.
1:32 pangs of regret and questioning life choices, practically screaming how did it come to this
Espresso Malörtini would be next on my list
A Long Island iced tea with Malort
I'd be happy for PV3 to forgo anything to do with Malort if he would try the new Jack Daniels Orange for us.
Can't believe he shook it and bruised the gentle flavors of the malort
Still throwing my hat in for a Malört Sundown.
im really curious when you are going to find a mix for malort that actually isnt bad. i personally think it tastes like if grapefruit were distilled into an alcohol, so maybe there is a brown sugar to go with it
That's exactly how I'd describe it- like a very dry grapefruit. I think some grapefruit juice and simple syrup would go a long way towards making something that's actually pretty good!
Also, you might be able to use malort as the bitters in a bitters-heavy drink.
I once had a shot that was half grapefruit juice half Black Balsam (Latvian licorice liquor). It was actually quite good.
@@jasonblalock4429 exactly. I think Malört could be good as a bitter part of a drink. But I can’t imagine it as the main liquor.
In a margarita instead of tequila.
since malort is wormwood, which is also the flavor in vermouth... I would have used the malort as a vermouth substitute instead of trying to use it as gin.
Still probably not a great cocktail, but it would be relatively drinkable.
Nice
Please bring back $5 treasures!
Okay, I have a miracle cure for the after flavor of the Malort.
Shot of Absinthe, swish that around in you mouth, hold onto it like mouthwash, spit or swallow, the age old question.
The Absinthe kills the Malort funk faster than anything. (We tried everything in the liquor cabinet as an experiment)
So, maybe a mixed drink with Absinthe?
And how do you kill the absinthe flavour/effects?
@@alixtheprofessionalcatherd6850 that's the best part. You don't!
Hey, it's better than Malort
How about a Malörty Alexander? On second thought, that might destroy itself as soon as it’s mixed.
Damn, by the time this series is over PV3 will be completely immune to Malort
I reckon a Malort White Russian would be exceptionally unpleasant.
Laughed till my stomach hurt. Lololol
Some drink ideas, Malort Margurita, Malort Old fashioned, Malort jolly rancher shots, Malort Daquiri.
Super simple Bud. A 7 & 7. ✌️
Mojitört: A mojito, replacing rum, with malört.
I hope series continue until the Malort bottle is empty
Malört prairie fire with the last dab instead of Tabasco sauce;)
Next a Malörtgarita! Never mind, strike that. Thinking about it makes me ill.
"Bonds. Bail bonds."
I'd love to see an Amalötto Sour
My spirit animal 1:39
The White Illinoisan - 1.5oz Malört, 1oz Coffee Liqueur and cream
Malört and moonshine, aka North Paw
Prescott, no one is forcing you, you don't need to do this to yourself.
A Pink Lady...... with Malort. Winner!
Oh lord the Malorti
Do the Malot Mai Tie!!!
I used to make everyone who came to Chicago for the first time do a shot of Malort -- because I'm a nice guy.
I actually don't mind the taste of Malort anymore. I think that's how they keep selling it. You just stop caring.
Godspeed spice lord.
Swedish name for that drink would be *Skakad & Störd* 🇸🇪 James Bond pun intended
Ah, olives. The devil's grape. Was that small "quack" noise when you spat out the first sip added in post, or was that all genuine revulsion?
That quacking was all me.
Frozen Malört Margarita with salt on the rim
Aviation cocktail! Or a Last Word!!!
Malort Grasshopper, or as I want to call it "The Locust".
1.5 oz Malort
1.5 oz crème de menthe
2 ounces heavy cream
The Locust! Not just for biblical plagues!
Malort Boilermaker !!!!!
Your face really conveyed the pain.
A malort sour would certainly be delicious, right? Or a Cosmalort?
Also - Chocolate Malort Martini!
Try malort with everclear and see if they can exorcise the taste of each other. 🤣
1:40 is my new wallpaper.
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