NOOO, the kids have to grow up with their own life. I'm not having the real father come and blackmail me, so heck no... not taking care of another lazy man's kid.
Why would a woman expect a man who isnt the father to support kids that arent theirs? That is 100% messed up and God will make the woman pay for doing that to another human being.
As a single man who’s never been married, and has no kids, being in a relationship with a single mom would not be my first choice. That being said, if by chance I did wind up being in a relationship with a single mom, I feel it’s the actual father’s responsibility to provide for his child. I shouldn’t have to be guilted into taking over that role.
If you love the person you’ll make anything work. You don’t just get the girl but you get the added bonus of a family maybe something you never had. I’m all for it…. And Leah you’re just as beautiful as ever! You put out this type of energy that has these ray beams that I can feel across the Pacific Ocean hehe
I feel the same if - I warm to the kids and the kids accept me as stepfather and truly like me. IMHO the situation is just more complex because there are more persons involved, including the kid's father. If the kid is 18 y o and doing well in his or her studies, I certainly would help with college tuition.
It's always a challenge to let's say 'break' an independent woman's independence. Break it in a good way. The meaning of partnership is just that.. a partnership. For some men that means everything including money (what's mine is yours and yours is mine), for some men they prefer to meet a woman who works and has her own money. It is the same with foreigners giving money to their Filipina's family, is it the same with giving her money. Some guys are cool that their woman can handle her own financial affairs, while some other men don't mind or even want to help their gf/wife out with money. It depends on the person. It's a choice. There needs to be a balance and not have men feel obligated to give. Me personally, I believe in helping my woman and her child/children, helping them out completely, including financially, and including her family too (I won't feel obligated to give to them, it is just how I am as a person/man. I give because I can afford to). But that is me. To eaches own. I was raised in a large family, I have 8 siblings. If my gf/wife has a good relationship with her parents, then her parents and family become my family, and where I come from we look out for one another, period. I believe in taking care of the woman I am with and love, period. When it is a real, serious, and long-term relationship of course. An independent woman has to learn to let the guy be a part of the things that she normally does solo. A partnership means two, and a team, it means an independent woman isn't alone, and can get used to having someone else to help her and she can fall back on. Having that feeling of knowing someone is truly there for you, becomes stronger than being independent. It just takes time. Trust takes time to build. If you want to or you feel like you must stay independent (to some degree) then do you, at least you will know you can trust in your man if you need to. But some men want to be involved and want to make life for you easier. When I have a gf/wife.. if she wants to work then cool, but she will thoroughly KNOW, that is her choice to work but she knows she does not have to if she doesn't want to because she knows I would want to take care of her. She can trust that. I would be supportive of what she needs and wants. My gf/wife could never be a burden on me. Open honest two-way communication is everything. Such matters should be discussed thoroughly. I give to give, I don't give for my woman to feel like she MUST do something in return. "Being kind..is kinda fine!" (My bad sorry for the long af comment)! lol 😂😋🤗
hey there, thank you for sharing your thoughts, indeed to each their own, haha dont be sorry, I love reading detailed comments as Im also learning different culture
Hello Could you do a discussion on the single mom/ child dynamic in Philippines. Many Filipinas are perfectly okay with leaving their children with relatives to raise and moving around with their foreigner partners. It seems strange from a western perspective as that is not common in USA. Also sometimes the foreigner feels guilty of breaking up that union when entering a relationship. I mean children left or sent to province to live with grandparents or relatives and mom moves to the city.
hi there, oh yes thank you for that suggestion... will do, this video that will be live soon is also covering up some of the misconceptions of single mom. Hope youll watch it later, thank you for the suggestion
This independence thing is a little backwards and upside down. Its understandable but messed up. Here's what you can do, guys. Don't try to do everything with money. Just focus on their health and well being. Keep making impacts and watch how they change for the better.
I think these girls exemplify how awesome filipina wives are, their life experiences give them amazing qualities. It's a bit sad that they have a hard time getting used to a partner that actually supports them and their families. Hugs to all of you. 😊❤
thank you Chris, when you are embodying the masculine energy for in my case 4 decades, its hard to break that shell but Im slowly getting there - to be more feminine and accepting :)
Holy cow Leah - how tall are you? You look tall compared to the others! As for your video title question, I would not hesitate one bit to date a single mom. As for supporting the kids, during the dating phase, the support would be minimal. I say that only because what if the relationship ends and the kids have gotten used to getting things - then all of a sudden are cut off. I don't think it would be fair to the children. Buying them necessities or taking them out to eat I would be totally fine with, but buying "wants" would depend. If the relationship progressed to marriage of course I would be willing to support the girl as well as her children. They are a package deal - you love the whole package! Of course, as you ladies said in the video, you do it for love, not because you feel obligated. Hopefully in time the children will grow to love the man as well. I know it is a big adjustment for all concerned, maybe more so for the kids. It is so sad that so many men are not willing to date a single mom just because they think they are "broken" or because they feel the children would be a burden. You can love somebody else's child just as if that child were your own flesh and blood. If you don't have the financial means to do so that is fine. As for those guys making the rude comments that none of you women are working you need a reality check. Being a single mom alone is work enough. They are raising children, cooking, cleaning, washing, filming, editing, interviewing, doing charity work, and taking care of their partners. Their work may not be as physical as that of some men, but I can assure you they are just as tired at the end of the day as most men. Hope you are all well!! I am done rambling - LOL. Take care!!
I'm unsure if this came up in conversations or comments, but I never had children. It wasn't by choice; it was by chance. I've made bad decisions, but they ended before children were brought into this world. So, I see it as a blessing if I could help raise someone's child.
Children and Work: communicating expectations and establishing the appropriate boundaries: There are so many Variables that need to be fully flushed out regarding this topic; 1.) Will she be expected to give up her work? (What about if Expat leaves, Progressive Prenup?) 2.) Will the Child even live with them? (I hear of Grand-Parenting or temporary off-loading often) 3.) What are acceptable Parental Roles (what role is an Expat allowed to play with regard to discipline, or must he just simply suffer an unruly/temperamental child?) 4.) What if the child, Filipina, or Grand Parent gets deathly ill (best to have a plan ahead of time) 5.) And of course the topic de jour, The normal daily care & feeding of the child/family At the risk of repeating myself: Leah said Love is a matter of Give and Take... and with that I agree. Romantic Love is a transactional relationship. I don't why everyone gets so bent out of shape acknowledging that fact. In order for Romantic Relationships to be functional and succeed the relationship must be to the benefit of both partners. Generally that agreement 'primarily' includes the man sharing his resources and heart with the women, and she in return provides comfort and caring for his home, body and soul. My prayer for (single) working women: As she takes on the masculine to meet her obligations and material needs that she not loose her feminine to the logistics of it all. We all hope to meet authentic and responsible persons such as yourselves. Peace and Love, B Goat
Billy, you are amazing, thank you for sharing these amazing thoughts here... I love your explanation and the way you express things, thank you thank you :) appreciate you
A lot of men from the west have a lot of hesitation right now, dating women outside of the west. Not because men do not want to date someone with a child, but more due to the issues of women with kids in the west give men, Women will straight up use and abuse men that want to be good fathers and carry that over to step children. And with all the issues men face, I know and see a lot of men just not willing to risk being in a relationship with it. However many men are okay with it. I do not mind being with a women who has 2 or 3 kids. I myself have 2 kids. And want more. My only issue is how she handles us as a couple with her children. I will not be second best to anyone and I wont allow a women to abandon her children to be with me. For both to have a successful relationship. You have to maintain the same dynamic you would have if the children were both of yours, and not one of the parent belonging to someone else. This does not mean you have to convince their step parent is their true one, but raise them to respect them as if they were. And for the man to respect the children as if they were his also.
As a single man no children i wouldnt date a single mother. If i had a child or children myself then i would. That being said the older you are then desperate times come desperate measures if i was 50s 60s 70s then i would do it. One thing a man would have to know is they will never be first to the woman her child or children will be first in her life. She will expect that you put her first which is totally unfair
I date them and support them and their children I'm single dad 14 years now unfortunately both of my x wives my second x wive had child protection services taken my 6 kids away from me cause she wanted to love a child sex offender my first x wife testified against me and adopted two of my six kids my other 4 are adopted illegal by fake white people and I haven't seen none of my 7 kids since they were all born and toddlers including my 32 year old son from my first x wife yea I will have a series relationship with any single mom with children I will love them all like my own family unconditional ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤forever eternity ❤❤❤❤❤❤
omg, so sorry to hear your past... despite of it all, you are still welcoming to single mom possibility, wow! salute you, you are a strong soul, whatever happens in the past, its all lessons, I wish you are having an amazing present now.
@@expatguideph thanks it OK I don't want to feel sorry for me im.not important person just humble me I love your channel you amazing sexy beautiful woman 👩 mahal kita have a beautiful weekend
@@expatguideph thanks unfortunately my health is not good either heart disease my grandmother died from it I'm 59 years old unisex gender identity born that way my motto is I never give up one day at a time
magtrabaho kayo at wag iasa ang buhay nyo sa ibang tao. kaya basahan ang tingin sa inyo ng ibang lahi kasi kayo mismo ang nagpapababa ng mga pagkatao nyo.
hello, nakita mo ba ang video Boombacca??? mga independent po kami lahat but I guess para to sa mga walang trabaho at paasa na mga babae, korek? salamat sa comment mo
I was a single parent. I think I might prefer dating a woman who is a single parent. I think I would prefer her priorities more than a woman without that experience.
I married a single mother over 12 years ago. We rarely argue, but we did have a tough meeting of the minds on supporting her family. I told her my responsibility is to take care of her and her son. If you want to send money to your family fine, but you earn it. My budget is MY budget and I take care of most household expenses. The wife's budget is to take care of food and cleaning supplies. Beyond that I don't care where her money goes. I have noticed she is pretty sharp thinker except she forgets her wallet frequently when we drive to Las Vegas to shop. I help with her girlfriend trips sometimes, but it is my decision and should not be an obligation. Suggested topics: Getting step kids out of our bedroom when they cannot sleep alone. Who is in charge of discipline (you can't say it is me and then interfere with my methods) Also, how do you get a 22 year old kid to get off his computer and get a job and then move in with his girlfriend in a place of their own?
hey Stephen, wow at least you set the boundary, thats cool of you to do that... thank you for the suggested interesting topics, will keep that in mind for future videos...
I'm not searching for a woman. I'm not planning a trip overseas. I'm simply an American man with life experience entering into a conversation put out there on the internet. Allow me to offer the input/insight from one man's perspective who would be doing so from the "expat" perspective if I were entering that arena. 1. If a woman expected me to financially support her family, that would be a red flag for me. That's not how our culture works. We build for the future of our offspring and assisting our elders when their ability to do for themselves falls away. We're not against looking after our elders, it's a given that they've built something for themselves and may need an assist with life when they become infirmed. 2. Western women (generally speaking) these days have taken it way too far in treating a man as an ATM, to the point of demanding "X amount" in order to even be considered for a date and expecting "X amount" to be a minimum expenditure on them. Now I'm hearing of them thinking they're within their right to submit an invoice to a man for their financial expenditures just to prepare for that date: salon fees, childcare fees, food for their children for that timeline, and/or whatever else they choose to slap onto it. This abusive attitude has really caused American men to become overly cautious and wary concerning any demands for their money being spoken. 3. Finding a woman without kids is becoming a unicorn in and of itself. Demands are placed for financial assistance for her children when dating her, but we're (as men) not welcome to have ANY say in the correction of bad behavior of these children. If I'm not in a serious relationship with a woman, I'm not all that interested in the concerns of her children. However, if I am becoming involved in a serious relationship with a woman who has children, there is going to be some serious conversation about my level of involvement in rearing and disciplining children living under my roof, which I'm taking on responsibility for. And if those kids are feral in behavior, there's going to need to be some serious benefit to me putting up with the transition from feral to good kids. I'm not implying all children are feral, I'm speaking worst case scenario here. Well behaved, good children are a true blessing to any man's heart. I'll be damned if I'm expected to finance the needs of someone else's feral children and have no say in how they're molded as they grow up. Women (western in particular) seem to think that "compromise" within a relationship is a one-way street. So long as they get their way then someone has compromised, but there's no intention of THEM compromising. All of these are why men are looking at their passports for greener pastures. 4. America has more than one generation of males who've never known what having a father is like. They grew up with only women to answer to. They don't even know what it is to BE a man, nor HOW to be one. I (personally) place the majority of the cause of this on: 1. Western women's attitudes towards men. 2. Caused by the influence of Government, laws, judicial system influencing the attitudes of Western women towards men. If there's no man in the home, they're eligible for a government check. The check is bigger if she has a kid. If she wants an even bigger check, get knocked up and have yet another kid. There's an old joke here that she gives each kid the same name so when she calls, every kid comes. When asked what she does when she wants a specific kid, she calls out their last name. And, then the court system goes after the man (who got kicked out of his home by the woman) to pay 18 years' worth of child support. If some poor sap makes that mistake more than once in his life he's screwed for life. It's rare that a single father is awarded child support from a woman who just abandons her family for another man. 5. Telling an expat that your family comes first, not him... consider all that I've written above as you think about what you're doing to a potential long-term relationship with that man. A western man's entire life is about rejection and having to EARN his place in life. We may get 50 (or more) rejections for 1 acceptance of an invitation for a date (now go back and read the above again). Our work culture is now openly discriminating against us for simply being a white male, and being told we're evil for simply being born, and also being told we're financially responsible for another's persecution from decades previous, even if our ancestors had nothing to do with an abuse. We're guilty for simply being white and male. 6. Show me you're TRUTHFUL (100%), LOYAL (100% and to me first), loving, caring, truly seeking companionship/commitment, place value on me as a person, accept my leadership and willing to follow me... you have NO idea of the reward awaiting you as a woman. Show me that you're feminine, and enjoy being so, especially if I'm old enough to have been raised properly in a father/mother home with traditional values of the Western flavor... they might be only TWO dollars, but you'll HAVE your knight in shining dollars.
For a single man with no kids, it's difficult to date a single mom. You receive all of the responsibility without the authority. In the west, you are exposing yourself to potential child support payments even if the child is not biologically yours. You will also be the last person on her priority list after the needs of her child and immediate family. I think single dad's would deal with this arrangement much better because they have plenty of experience.
If I decided to marry a single mom with kids I would support them all. But im not supporting the rest of her family. It is not my responsibility to provide for and raise adults. What is mine will be hers and together we will raise the kids.
I will be retiring next year at the age of 57. I am in really good health with most people thinking I am still in my 40s. I am financially secure and will be able to travel with no worries and enjoy the fruits of my labor having already supported my children from previous relationships. I personally would not enter into any kind of long-term relationship with a single or separated Filipina mother. Some may call me selfish, and I would agree, but after all I have been through and how much I have sacrificed, I think I am entitled to be a bit selfish during my retirement. The Philippines government really needs to start holding Pinoy fathers responsible for their children.
What does it say about the man? There are many women in the world. I can pick one with kids and I'm in last place. Her kids are the most important thing to her which is as it should be. Or I pick a woman with no kids and I'm the most important person to her. We can have kids together and now "our" kids are "our" most important thing. Step father has no rights. Everything he does relating to her kids requires her permission. You spank her kids she can have you put into prison for hitting one of her kids. You spank one of your kids that's your right to discipline your kids. Step father with her kids in his home for a few months and the guy falls in love with her kids. But now an ex-boyfriend or one of the kid's father wants to get back with her. So off she goes with her kids. Dude has no rights to ever see those kids again. Father would have rights to his kids and those kids are citizens of the guy's home country which would back up his claim to the PH gov. A man, I mean a male, willing to raise another man's kids has seriously low self-esteem. Why does he not not think he's worthy of reproducing? Not worthy of having a woman who wants to have kids with him rather than a single mom who "might" have kids with him in exchange for paying for her existing kids. No one respects step-fathers. Single moms may say they respect a guy willing to bail her out, but long term she will not respect him.
hiii Waterbug, I disagree with "no one respects stepfathers". I had a steppapa and he was our world. The way he cared for me like I am his real daughter was no words can describe. We all witness how my Mama showed him love and respect and so am I as a stepdaughter I highly respect him... when the person has pure intention to the kids, to raise and love the kids, respect will be earned eventually... With your story of the girl with kids and going back the father of the kids, well maybe she really did not love that guy coz its not the case with my parents. My biological father came back and my Mama chose my step Papa and so am I. It really depends on the person and as I said, pure intention and love always win.
@@expatguideph Leah... Fully understand your feelings and respect that opinion greatly. I too, grew up having a stepfather. He married my mother when I was 5. Unfortunately, he did not know how to be a real father; perhaps his only real flaw. It's good to here you not only respected but loved your stepfather. On a side note; if somebody is being a little sarcastic in reference to your height and being small, use this "western" retort back; I may be small but dynamite comes in small packages. Wishing you the best. Dean
Thanks guys! I don't have a woman yet but these talks help me understand how the culture there is thinking through these issues. In America it is very contentious between men and women and I don't think we'll be working it out anytime soon. In contrast, very nice to see such a healthy group of Filipinas. I'm not sure if it's more difficult to talk in English but I appreciated it. Thanks
I only looked for a single mother when I was dating. Since I had a vasectomy, I wanted to make sure that any woman I dated, had children already and did not want any more because I wasn't making any more. My wife had one daughter, and did not want any more so she was perfect. As far as a man being obligated to support the kids go... If a man is just dating the women, then no he is not obligated. Although if it is a serious relationship and he is planning on marriage, has vetted the woman, has met the kids, has met the family, and the woman is actually working herself to support them, then it would be fine if he sees fit to do it on his own. IF he is married to the woman, and the kids are underage, then yes... I feel it is an unspoken obligation since he is sleeping with the mother. No woman should marry a man that would not help her support her underage kids once the relationship has become that serious. BUT, you ladies need to understand that a lot of your fellow women here, are looking to pay the "I love you asawa" trick on multiple desperate guys online. Be feminine, but single mothers should stop allowing themselves to be used for sex by these foreign dudes with the skin color that yall have been taught to worship. Better ask Donna Armstrong...... You all are some amazing women in a country filled with amazing women and people in general.
As a single dad, I will only date a single mum. They understand my world and priorities far better and I can evaluate the potential match by seeing the fruits of their parenting in their child, as they can do with me and mine. I am hyper careful about bringing someone into my son's life, but I would consider it a privilege to be part of my future partners child's life.
NOOO, the kids have to grow up with their own life. I'm not having the real father come and blackmail me, so heck no... not taking care of another lazy man's kid.
Why would a woman expect a man who isnt the father to support kids that arent theirs? That is 100% messed up and God will make the woman pay for doing that to another human being.
💯 percent correct.
As a single man who’s never been married, and has no kids, being in a relationship with a single mom would not be my first choice. That being said, if by chance I did wind up being in a relationship with a single mom, I feel it’s the actual father’s responsibility to provide for his child. I shouldn’t have to be guilted into taking over that role.
If you love the person you’ll make anything work. You don’t just get the girl but you get the added bonus of a family maybe something you never had. I’m all for it…. And Leah you’re just as beautiful as ever! You put out this type of energy that has these ray beams that I can feel across the Pacific Ocean hehe
haha thanks
If I was there and fell in love with a single mom, kids are included with no regrets.
That's so nice of you 😊😊😊
I feel the same if - I warm to the kids and the kids accept me as stepfather and truly like me. IMHO the situation is just more complex because there are more persons involved, including the kid's father. If the kid is 18 y o and doing well in his or her studies, I certainly would help with college tuition.
It's always a challenge to let's say 'break' an independent woman's independence. Break it in a good way. The meaning of partnership is just that.. a partnership. For some men that means everything including money (what's mine is yours and yours is mine), for some men they prefer to meet a woman who works and has her own money. It is the same with foreigners giving money to their Filipina's family, is it the same with giving her money. Some guys are cool that their woman can handle her own financial affairs, while some other men don't mind or even want to help their gf/wife out with money. It depends on the person. It's a choice. There needs to be a balance and not have men feel obligated to give. Me personally, I believe in helping my woman and her child/children, helping them out completely, including financially, and including her family too (I won't feel obligated to give to them, it is just how I am as a person/man. I give because I can afford to). But that is me. To eaches own. I was raised in a large family, I have 8 siblings. If my gf/wife has a good relationship with her parents, then her parents and family become my family, and where I come from we look out for one another, period. I believe in taking care of the woman I am with and love, period. When it is a real, serious, and long-term relationship of course. An independent woman has to learn to let the guy be a part of the things that she normally does solo. A partnership means two, and a team, it means an independent woman isn't alone, and can get used to having someone else to help her and she can fall back on. Having that feeling of knowing someone is truly there for you, becomes stronger than being independent. It just takes time. Trust takes time to build. If you want to or you feel like you must stay independent (to some degree) then do you, at least you will know you can trust in your man if you need to. But some men want to be involved and want to make life for you easier. When I have a gf/wife.. if she wants to work then cool, but she will thoroughly KNOW, that is her choice to work but she knows she does not have to if she doesn't want to because she knows I would want to take care of her. She can trust that. I would be supportive of what she needs and wants. My gf/wife could never be a burden on me. Open honest two-way communication is everything. Such matters should be discussed thoroughly. I give to give, I don't give for my woman to feel like she MUST do something in return. "Being kind..is kinda fine!" (My bad sorry for the long af comment)! lol 😂😋🤗
hey there, thank you for sharing your thoughts, indeed to each their own, haha dont be sorry, I love reading detailed comments as Im also learning different culture
Nope, not a chance. You will always be number 10 on the importance list.
thanks Ripley for sharing
Hello
Could you do a discussion on the single mom/ child dynamic in Philippines. Many Filipinas are perfectly okay with leaving their children with relatives to raise and moving around with their foreigner partners. It seems strange from a western perspective as that is not common in USA. Also sometimes the foreigner feels guilty of breaking up that union when entering a relationship.
I mean children left or sent to province to live with grandparents or relatives and mom moves to the city.
hi there, oh yes thank you for that suggestion... will do, this video that will be live soon is also covering up some of the misconceptions of single mom. Hope youll watch it later, thank you for the suggestion
Haha. “Your money is my money and my money is your money”. Easy to say when you’re bringing in $600 a month at best.
Yes... i would be happy to date a single mom and support her and her kids... if you can find the right one.
thanks Gerin for sharing your opinion, welcome to my channel :)
It's nice to see you 4 mature ladies together... THANKS
This independence thing is a little backwards and upside down. Its understandable but messed up.
Here's what you can do, guys. Don't try to do everything with money. Just focus on their health and well being. Keep making impacts and watch how they change for the better.
love it, thanks MG
I think these girls exemplify how awesome filipina wives are, their life experiences give them amazing qualities. It's a bit sad that they have a hard time getting used to a partner that actually supports them and their families. Hugs to all of you. 😊❤
thank you Chris, when you are embodying the masculine energy for in my case 4 decades, its hard to break that shell but Im slowly getting there - to be more feminine and accepting :)
I am a single father of three. Yes I would definitely prefer a single mom 😊
thanks for being here Mike
Holy cow Leah - how tall are you? You look tall compared to the others! As for your video title question, I would not hesitate one bit to date a single mom. As for supporting the kids, during the dating phase, the support would be minimal. I say that only because what if the relationship ends and the kids have gotten used to getting things - then all of a sudden are cut off. I don't think it would be fair to the children. Buying them necessities or taking them out to eat I would be totally fine with, but buying "wants" would depend. If the relationship progressed to marriage of course I would be willing to support the girl as well as her children. They are a package deal - you love the whole package! Of course, as you ladies said in the video, you do it for love, not because you feel obligated. Hopefully in time the children will grow to love the man as well. I know it is a big adjustment for all concerned, maybe more so for the kids. It is so sad that so many men are not willing to date a single mom just because they think they are "broken" or because they feel the children would be a burden. You can love somebody else's child just as if that child were your own flesh and blood. If you don't have the financial means to do so that is fine. As for those guys making the rude comments that none of you women are working you need a reality check. Being a single mom alone is work enough. They are raising children, cooking, cleaning, washing, filming, editing, interviewing, doing charity work, and taking care of their partners. Their work may not be as physical as that of some men, but I can assure you they are just as tired at the end of the day as most men. Hope you are all well!! I am done rambling - LOL. Take care!!
hiii Michael, im 5'3" thanks for sharing your thoughts :) its good of you to think that way
I love these girls......See ya'll later..
it was amazing to be with ya today, thank you :)
"The Phun" (pronounced; fun) is a look at the Philippines through the eyes of these four. Oh, what "FUN" it would be. I see a TV show in the making.
I'm unsure if this came up in conversations or comments, but I never had children. It wasn't by choice; it was by chance. I've made bad decisions, but they ended before children were brought into this world. So, I see it as a blessing if I could help raise someone's child.
hey Ian, thank you for sharing
I'm not a fan of labels. Every relationship comes with unique challenges for both men and women.
so agree with you
all very talented and hard working. if you were all my sisters, I would be proud
awww thanks David
Children and Work: communicating expectations and establishing the appropriate boundaries: There are so many Variables that need to be fully flushed out regarding this topic;
1.) Will she be expected to give up her work? (What about if Expat leaves, Progressive Prenup?)
2.) Will the Child even live with them? (I hear of Grand-Parenting or temporary off-loading often)
3.) What are acceptable Parental Roles (what role is an Expat allowed to play with regard to discipline, or must he just simply suffer an unruly/temperamental child?)
4.) What if the child, Filipina, or Grand Parent gets deathly ill (best to have a plan ahead of time)
5.) And of course the topic de jour, The normal daily care & feeding of the child/family
At the risk of repeating myself:
Leah said Love is a matter of Give and Take... and with that I agree. Romantic Love is a transactional relationship. I don't why everyone gets so bent out of shape acknowledging that fact. In order for Romantic Relationships to be functional and succeed the relationship must be to the benefit of both partners. Generally that agreement 'primarily' includes the man sharing his resources and heart with the women, and she in return provides comfort and caring for his home, body and soul. My prayer for (single) working women: As she takes on the masculine to meet her obligations and material needs that she not loose her feminine to the logistics of it all. We all hope to meet authentic and responsible persons such as yourselves. Peace and Love, B Goat
Billy, you are amazing, thank you for sharing these amazing thoughts here... I love your explanation and the way you express things, thank you thank you :) appreciate you
A lot of men from the west have a lot of hesitation right now, dating women outside of the west. Not because men do not want to date someone with a child, but more due to the issues of women with kids in the west give men, Women will straight up use and abuse men that want to be good fathers and carry that over to step children. And with all the issues men face, I know and see a lot of men just not willing to risk being in a relationship with it. However many men are okay with it. I do not mind being with a women who has 2 or 3 kids. I myself have 2 kids. And want more. My only issue is how she handles us as a couple with her children. I will not be second best to anyone and I wont allow a women to abandon her children to be with me. For both to have a successful relationship. You have to maintain the same dynamic you would have if the children were both of yours, and not one of the parent belonging to someone else. This does not mean you have to convince their step parent is their true one, but raise them to respect them as if they were. And for the man to respect the children as if they were his also.
hey House, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts... its nice of you to share what you want and how you want it to be...
As a single man no children i wouldnt date a single mother. If i had a child or children myself then i would. That being said the older you are then desperate times come desperate measures if i was 50s 60s 70s then i would do it. One thing a man would have to know is they will never be first to the woman her child or children will be first in her life. She will expect that you put her first which is totally unfair
thanks Tony
I date them and support them and their children I'm single dad 14 years now unfortunately both of my x wives my second x wive had child protection services taken my 6 kids away from me cause she wanted to love a child sex offender my first x wife testified against me and adopted two of my six kids my other 4 are adopted illegal by fake white people and I haven't seen none of my 7 kids since they were all born and toddlers including my 32 year old son from my first x wife yea I will have a series relationship with any single mom with children I will love them all like my own family unconditional ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤forever eternity ❤❤❤❤❤❤
omg, so sorry to hear your past... despite of it all, you are still welcoming to single mom possibility, wow! salute you, you are a strong soul, whatever happens in the past, its all lessons, I wish you are having an amazing present now.
@@expatguideph thanks it OK I don't want to feel sorry for me im.not important person just humble me I love your channel you amazing sexy beautiful woman 👩 mahal kita have a beautiful weekend
@@expatguideph thanks unfortunately my health is not good either heart disease my grandmother died from it I'm 59 years old unisex gender identity born that way my motto is I never give up one day at a time
If they were as sweet as you yes 🎉
magtrabaho kayo at wag iasa ang buhay nyo sa ibang tao. kaya basahan ang tingin sa inyo ng ibang lahi kasi kayo mismo ang nagpapababa ng mga pagkatao nyo.
hello, nakita mo ba ang video Boombacca??? mga independent po kami lahat but I guess para to sa mga walang trabaho at paasa na mga babae, korek? salamat sa comment mo
boombacca wag kang mgpasagad mgsalita jan. Hindi ka nanood ng video na eto kaya wala kang alam boombacca.
I was a single parent. I think I might prefer dating a woman who is a single parent.
I think I would prefer her priorities more than a woman without that experience.
hey Gary, thank you for sharing your thoughts
I married a single mother over 12 years ago. We rarely argue, but we did have a tough meeting of the minds on supporting her family. I told her my responsibility is to take care of her and her son. If you want to send money to your family fine, but you earn it. My budget is MY budget and I take care of most household expenses. The wife's budget is to take care of food and cleaning supplies. Beyond that I don't care where her money goes. I have noticed she is pretty sharp thinker except she forgets her wallet frequently when we drive to Las Vegas to shop. I help with her girlfriend trips sometimes, but it is my decision and should not be an obligation. Suggested topics: Getting step kids out of our bedroom when they cannot sleep alone. Who is in charge of discipline (you can't say it is me and then interfere with my methods) Also, how do you get a 22 year old kid to get off his computer and get a job and then move in with his girlfriend in a place of their own?
hey Stephen, wow at least you set the boundary, thats cool of you to do that... thank you for the suggested interesting topics, will keep that in mind for future videos...
I'm not searching for a woman. I'm not planning a trip overseas. I'm simply an American man with life experience entering into a conversation put out there on the internet. Allow me to offer the input/insight from one man's perspective who would be doing so from the "expat" perspective if I were entering that arena.
1. If a woman expected me to financially support her family, that would be a red flag for me. That's not how our culture works. We build for the future of our offspring and assisting our elders when their ability to do for themselves falls away. We're not against looking after our elders, it's a given that they've built something for themselves and may need an assist with life when they become infirmed.
2. Western women (generally speaking) these days have taken it way too far in treating a man as an ATM, to the point of demanding "X amount" in order to even be considered for a date and expecting "X amount" to be a minimum expenditure on them. Now I'm hearing of them thinking they're within their right to submit an invoice to a man for their financial expenditures just to prepare for that date: salon fees, childcare fees, food for their children for that timeline, and/or whatever else they choose to slap onto it. This abusive attitude has really caused American men to become overly cautious and wary concerning any demands for their money being spoken.
3. Finding a woman without kids is becoming a unicorn in and of itself. Demands are placed for financial assistance for her children when dating her, but we're (as men) not welcome to have ANY say in the correction of bad behavior of these children. If I'm not in a serious relationship with a woman, I'm not all that interested in the concerns of her children. However, if I am becoming involved in a serious relationship with a woman who has children, there is going to be some serious conversation about my level of involvement in rearing and disciplining children living under my roof, which I'm taking on responsibility for. And if those kids are feral in behavior, there's going to need to be some serious benefit to me putting up with the transition from feral to good kids. I'm not implying all children are feral, I'm speaking worst case scenario here. Well behaved, good children are a true blessing to any man's heart. I'll be damned if I'm expected to finance the needs of someone else's feral children and have no say in how they're molded as they grow up. Women (western in particular) seem to think that "compromise" within a relationship is a one-way street. So long as they get their way then someone has compromised, but there's no intention of THEM compromising. All of these are why men are looking at their passports for greener pastures.
4. America has more than one generation of males who've never known what having a father is like. They grew up with only women to answer to. They don't even know what it is to BE a man, nor HOW to be one. I (personally) place the majority of the cause of this on: 1. Western women's attitudes towards men. 2. Caused by the influence of Government, laws, judicial system influencing the attitudes of Western women towards men. If there's no man in the home, they're eligible for a government check. The check is bigger if she has a kid. If she wants an even bigger check, get knocked up and have yet another kid. There's an old joke here that she gives each kid the same name so when she calls, every kid comes. When asked what she does when she wants a specific kid, she calls out their last name. And, then the court system goes after the man (who got kicked out of his home by the woman) to pay 18 years' worth of child support. If some poor sap makes that mistake more than once in his life he's screwed for life. It's rare that a single father is awarded child support from a woman who just abandons her family for another man.
5. Telling an expat that your family comes first, not him... consider all that I've written above as you think about what you're doing to a potential long-term relationship with that man. A western man's entire life is about rejection and having to EARN his place in life. We may get 50 (or more) rejections for 1 acceptance of an invitation for a date (now go back and read the above again). Our work culture is now openly discriminating against us for simply being a white male, and being told we're evil for simply being born, and also being told we're financially responsible for another's persecution from decades previous, even if our ancestors had nothing to do with an abuse. We're guilty for simply being white and male.
6. Show me you're TRUTHFUL (100%), LOYAL (100% and to me first), loving, caring, truly seeking companionship/commitment, place value on me as a person, accept my leadership and willing to follow me... you have NO idea of the reward awaiting you as a woman. Show me that you're feminine, and enjoy being so, especially if I'm old enough to have been raised properly in a father/mother home with traditional values of the Western flavor... they might be only TWO dollars, but you'll HAVE your knight in shining dollars.
this is amazing share Ratdog, thank you soooo much...
For a single man with no kids, it's difficult to date a single mom. You receive all of the responsibility without the authority. In the west, you are exposing yourself to potential child support payments even if the child is not biologically yours. You will also be the last person on her priority list after the needs of her child and immediate family. I think single dad's would deal with this arrangement much better because they have plenty of experience.
thank you for sharing :)
If I decided to marry a single mom with kids I would support them all. But im not supporting the rest of her family. It is not my responsibility to provide for and raise adults. What is mine will be hers and together we will raise the kids.
well said David :)
I will be retiring next year at the age of 57. I am in really good health with most people thinking I am still in my 40s. I am financially secure and will be able to travel with no worries and enjoy the fruits of my labor having already supported my children from previous relationships. I personally would not enter into any kind of long-term relationship with a single or separated Filipina mother. Some may call me selfish, and I would agree, but after all I have been through and how much I have sacrificed, I think I am entitled to be a bit selfish during my retirement. The Philippines government really needs to start holding Pinoy fathers responsible for their children.
you are not selfish at all for establishing what you want and your boundaries. The government has laws around it but its not well implemented.
@@KrayPurn you are not selfish.. you are a good man. Good luck to your retirement next year.
What does it say about the man? There are many women in the world. I can pick one with kids and I'm in last place. Her kids are the most important thing to her which is as it should be.
Or I pick a woman with no kids and I'm the most important person to her. We can have kids together and now "our" kids are "our" most important thing.
Step father has no rights. Everything he does relating to her kids requires her permission. You spank her kids she can have you put into prison for hitting one of her kids. You spank one of your kids that's your right to discipline your kids.
Step father with her kids in his home for a few months and the guy falls in love with her kids. But now an ex-boyfriend or one of the kid's father wants to get back with her. So off she goes with her kids. Dude has no rights to ever see those kids again. Father would have rights to his kids and those kids are citizens of the guy's home country which would back up his claim to the PH gov.
A man, I mean a male, willing to raise another man's kids has seriously low self-esteem. Why does he not not think he's worthy of reproducing? Not worthy of having a woman who wants to have kids with him rather than a single mom who "might" have kids with him in exchange for paying for her existing kids. No one respects step-fathers. Single moms may say they respect a guy willing to bail her out, but long term she will not respect him.
hiii Waterbug, I disagree with "no one respects stepfathers". I had a steppapa and he was our world. The way he cared for me like I am his real daughter was no words can describe. We all witness how my Mama showed him love and respect and so am I as a stepdaughter I highly respect him... when the person has pure intention to the kids, to raise and love the kids, respect will be earned eventually... With your story of the girl with kids and going back the father of the kids, well maybe she really did not love that guy coz its not the case with my parents. My biological father came back and my Mama chose my step Papa and so am I. It really depends on the person and as I said, pure intention and love always win.
@@expatguideph Leah... Fully understand your feelings and respect that opinion greatly. I too, grew up having a stepfather. He married my mother when I was 5. Unfortunately, he did not know how to be a real father; perhaps his only real flaw. It's good to here you not only respected but loved your stepfather. On a side note; if somebody is being a little sarcastic in reference to your height and being small, use this "western" retort back; I may be small but dynamite comes in small packages. Wishing you the best. Dean
MAYA, IS THE BEST LOOKING OF THEM ALL ♥
Thanks guys! I don't have a woman yet but these talks help me understand how the culture there is thinking through these issues. In America it is very contentious between men and women and I don't think we'll be working it out anytime soon. In contrast, very nice to see such a healthy group of Filipinas. I'm not sure if it's more difficult to talk in English but I appreciated it. Thanks
hey Michael, glad you enjoyed and learned something from us :)
I only looked for a single mother when I was dating. Since I had a vasectomy, I wanted to make sure that any woman I dated, had children already and did not want any more because I wasn't making any more. My wife had one daughter, and did not want any more so she was perfect. As far as a man being obligated to support the kids go... If a man is just dating the women, then no he is not obligated. Although if it is a serious relationship and he is planning on marriage, has vetted the woman, has met the kids, has met the family, and the woman is actually working herself to support them, then it would be fine if he sees fit to do it on his own. IF he is married to the woman, and the kids are underage, then yes... I feel it is an unspoken obligation since he is sleeping with the mother. No woman should marry a man that would not help her support her underage kids once the relationship has become that serious. BUT, you ladies need to understand that a lot of your fellow women here, are looking to pay the "I love you asawa" trick on multiple desperate guys online. Be feminine, but single mothers should stop allowing themselves to be used for sex by these foreign dudes with the skin color that yall have been taught to worship. Better ask Donna Armstrong...... You all are some amazing women in a country filled with amazing women and people in general.
hello, thank you for sharing your thoughts
As a single dad, I will only date a single mum. They understand my world and priorities far better and I can evaluate the potential match by seeing the fruits of their parenting in their child, as they can do with me and mine. I am hyper careful about bringing someone into my son's life, but I would consider it a privilege to be part of my future partners child's life.
hey John, appreciate the thoughts you share here, thanks