My ex was a Welsh man, I was very young and he was 17 years older than me. The first time he hit me I was in shock. I was very quickly pregnant and the abuse slowly got worse. For instance he didn’t work but he loved a flutter on the horses, I was forced to go to the bookies a mile away on foot with ten minutes to go before the race. I was eight month’s pregnant, and petrified that if I missed the race start he would lay in to me again. After my daughter was born we lived in a hostel because we were homeless. One day we were walking into town and the road followed a stream, he was holding the pram and I was a couple of steps behind he purposefully let go of the pram and it headed into the stream as I went to grab it he head butted me in the eye, and again when I tried again to rescue my daughter. What upset me too on that day was that there were people washing their cars and gardening, they saw and heard me screaming and ignored me. I could go on. But it was a long time ago. My daughter is now 42. We survived
@@india-skyecharlton9314 bless you sweetie. I was miles from home which made it more difficult for me to get out. I’d also got my fathers parting words constantly in my head “you make your bed, you lie in it” Thankfully I had made a good friend and with their help my 16 month old daughter and I got out. Asking my family if I could come home was the hardest thing in the world to do. But I did it and they did say yes. I wish you all the love and luck in the world xx
Domestic abuse is a huge priority within all the emergency services. There are support networks in place within police and proven track record of them supporting victims of DA until they are no longer in the relationship and further. Unfortunately by the very nature of the level of coercive control the perpetrators use the victims are not always able to remain in a place of safety and often are coerced back to the perpetrators. There are many many support agencies out there and is offered with no limits put on the victims. As a very minor example I went for a mammogram and the nurse conducting the exam noticed I had bruises on my torso, she explained to me that I was in a safe place and I didn’t need to go back outside to my waiting husband if I wanted to set the wheels in motion to get away from the situation. I explained that I’d had a nasty fall and the bruises were from that. It was a genuine reason as my dear husband is not at all violent. But it was heartening to know that there are escape routes out there. Just as an aside I’m not police nor ever have been. Please reach out to these support agencies if you are in need of help, you’d be surprised how many there are out there and even members of the public are more informed now and are willing to aid people in need.
From a victim myself and was under terrible abuse my ex husband of 20 years ,and 3 children did go to jail for 14 months pathetic sentance for what he did to me. And i still live with nightmares etc..... They hate being found out by others what the monster they really are shows its face. Thankyou for sharing 😢
Thank you for speaking out and shining a light on a very complex issue. You spoke of some very familiar behaviours - you’ve done so well to get out of it eventually. The utter sadness is that it’s not that easy to walk away from - it’s so much easier to hide it all. I really hope you and your kids go on to live fulfilled lives - thank you for sharing x❤
I am a survivor of Domestic Abuse .. I was 17 years old , and the man was a bully , I was even hurt when I was pregnant .!!! .. Ruth I feel yr pain , these men aren’t nasty all the time , it’s very confusing .. 😢
That’s the definition of abuse, where you don’t know when it’s coming, and they always say they are sorry, it won’t happen again, and then it does. Intermittent reinforcement.
Usually, men accusing their wives of affairs are the ones having affairs. I was also in an abusive relationship but could not love someone who was hurting and frightening me.
It is SOOOO Good of Ruth to come out with her story. She gives other hope that they are not alone. When you think it is just people in poverty, and the stresses of being jobless, or poor, etc, and it is NOT. The richest of people and the most famous of people can be in that situation. Look at that Princess from Daubi...She had to go into hiding from her husband Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al-Maktoum, he was able to 'snatch' her kids back from her. She had all the money in the world but could not hide from her abusive husband. (and boy does he look evil too)!! THANK YOU Ruth for speaking out.
Oh dear, Splott was where my abusive ex partner and his family lived. And as a very naive 19 year old I moved from Staffordshire to live with him, huge, huge mistake.
My dad was domestic abuse by my mother in every way, and I say 'was' not because he got away but because he ended up taking him own life because she wouldn't let him leave and he couldn't see any other way out. 14 years later she's lives like she done nothing wrong, told me her own daughter to drop dead and that I was the biggest mistake of her life and he's not here, I miss him everyday 😢
wow , that's just terrible , Terrible that she's made him lose his innocent life and Terrible that you're left with the abuser talking to you like that . I really hope you can get far far away from her. May you have a blessed 2025
What an absolute bitch. I hope you are strong enough to protect yourself from her. Have nothing to do with her. She's evil. Have faith, you'll be with your Dad again. Keep strong ❤
Hi luv, I sent you a reply but I can't find it so I will try again. Your mother sounds like mine.....an absolute bitch. Be strong enough to walk away. Have faith, you will be with your beloved dad again. Keep strong. I hope this reply goes through this time. Bless you xx
Domestic abuse is no joke. I suffered mental abuse during the physical after I finished with him. The mental abuse is far worse. It lives with you for the rest of your life and affects other relationships. It's not you it's them. Detangling those webs to break loose takes years. The stalking and constantly being monitored somehow through his friends & family. I'm glad I didn't marry or put him on my mortgage. He left me with debt, which of some I still have. Played emotional blackmail with our son and hurt him so bad. We're free 15 years on. You stay longer because of kids, but my advice is you should leave ASAP. Even when they say nobody will ever want you as a single mum and nobody would love you. Mind games !
If you meet someone and they show a quick temper,walk away,and I mean that about friends too,I think Ruth was young and not worldly wise about what people can be like,it's a learning curve for all of us, hopefully we see the signs after experiencing it.
It's hard to explain to anyone the humiliation and shame you feel when your husband hits you. The first time most especially but it's bewildering and crushing...and that's exactly the intention.
My first boyfriend met when I was 16 he was 19 and very handsome! All the girls were after him! This was in the 70s we got married he become violent and very possessive time me round shops had 15 minutes to get shopping, we had a son and another on the way. He started going to clubs staying out ! If I said anything I would get hit black eyes! Another son came along so had 2 boys. Thought he would change (they don't)!! Lots went on I divorced him!! But after 10 months of divorce he went missing! Police were looking over 12 months! One night 4 plain clothes police knocked at my door 2 English and 2 French police. They asked me were and what marks on his body and who his dentist was. Told them...then they told me he was dead and been buried in a paupers grave in France!! He was found on a motorway embankment his throat had been cut! He was 30. His body was brought back to the UK and he was cremated! That was 39 years ago. English police say it was murder and French police say was suicide! To this day we still don't know! But he has left me physically and mentally scarred!! He gave me a bad time for 7 years! My body is scarred when he put me through a window and the beating and the jealousy was horrendous!! But didn't wish that to happen to him!! I blame myself for his death it never leaves you!! So he's till torture to me in death!
He obviously did a good job on you that you believe you caused his end. Likelihood is, he caused his own end. Celebrate that you escaped. Maybe talk to other abused partners, when you realise that guilt is part of the training process maybe you'll find it easier to relinquish your guilt. It takes a while to cast off the brainwashing, but eventually the dreams stop and a good night of sleep takes over. I wish you well. All the best to you.
New subscriber here to support your channel and ruth x DV is like living in hell. Please if you need to get out its the most dangerous time.....have a plan ask for help and get out x
Just watched this and I have never seen such a uninterested podcaster yawning and looking bored can’t believe this women got him over 17k was cringing to watch brave woman shame about the host
Hasnt she re married ? I get she suffered domestic abuse by her ex, but time to move on with her new partner by now, put her past behind her. Life is too short .
I'm not sure why she thought it was relevant for her to tell us, how we were meant to have viewed her, due to her being on Tv!. Most people don't give people on TV a second thought!. We are far to busy living our own lives!. I could only watch 11 minutes as she even prejuges domestic abuse herself!. Saying she doesn't fit the norm!.
@@georgienield2955 and your so disrespectful thinking that’s what I’m doing, me and Ruth had the conversation before the show and my questions were on there because the tablet broke. And no I don’t want an apology smart arse
@ clearly your nothing but a hater, you didn’t acknowledge the answer I’ve given you instead looked for something else. Georgie I recon you should start a podcast
There’s never any excuse for domestic violence and sounds like he did enough to warrant her looking elsewhere for happiness. That’s the stupid thing about it being paranoid about there being someone else, it’s a sure way to drive someone in to the arms of another.
Did she say everywhere she goes "everyone knows her" I have no idea who she is. I can imagine living with this self-absorbed narcissist was very wearing
@clarissa-xd9iu you obviously don’t live in Wales. Ruth is our princess of the weather forecast!!! Every day we relied on Ruth to tell us how much wind and rain to expect tomorrow! 🏴 ☔️ 🌪️
She probably didn't want to drag them into it. He would know where her parents live and turn up and made a scene. You are trapped by shame and guilt. It's very complex.Good for her for speaking out can't be easy, special when lots will ridicule you.
Ruth is such a beautiful person. I have so much admiration and respect for her.
❤❤❤❤
My ex was a Welsh man, I was very young and he was 17 years older than me. The first time he hit me I was in shock. I was very quickly pregnant and the abuse slowly got worse. For instance he didn’t work but he loved a flutter on the horses, I was forced to go to the bookies a mile away on foot with ten minutes to go before the race. I was eight month’s pregnant, and petrified that if I missed the race start he would lay in to me again. After my daughter was born we lived in a hostel because we were homeless. One day we were walking into town and the road followed a stream, he was holding the pram and I was a couple of steps behind he purposefully let go of the pram and it headed into the stream as I went to grab it he head butted me in the eye, and again when I tried again to rescue my daughter. What upset me too on that day was that there were people washing their cars and gardening, they saw and heard me screaming and ignored me. I could go on. But it was a long time ago. My daughter is now 42. We survived
So sorry. Well done - you're amazing. I'm. going through similar and can't get out!
@@karenjones7267 bloody disgrace these men , I’m appalled that DV victims are not protected properly by the police .. things. have to change .. 🙏💖
@@india-skyecharlton9314 bless you sweetie. I was miles from home which made it more difficult for me to get out. I’d also got my fathers parting words constantly in my head “you make your bed, you lie in it” Thankfully I had made a good friend and with their help my 16 month old daughter and I got out. Asking my family if I could come home was the hardest thing in the world to do. But I did it and they did say yes. I wish you all the love and luck in the world xx
What a disgusting pig
Domestic abuse is a huge priority within all the emergency services. There are support networks in place within police and proven track record of them supporting victims of DA until they are no longer in the relationship and further. Unfortunately by the very nature of the level of coercive control the perpetrators use the victims are not always able to remain in a place of safety and often are coerced back to the perpetrators. There are many many support agencies out there and is offered with no limits put on the victims. As a very minor example I went for a mammogram and the nurse conducting the exam noticed I had bruises on my torso, she explained to me that I was in a safe place and I didn’t need to go back outside to my waiting husband if I wanted to set the wheels in motion to get away from the situation. I explained that I’d had a nasty fall and the bruises were from that. It was a genuine reason as my dear husband is not at all violent. But it was heartening to know that there are escape routes out there. Just as an aside I’m not police nor ever have been. Please reach out to these support agencies if you are in need of help, you’d be surprised how many there are out there and even members of the public are more informed now and are willing to aid people in need.
From a victim myself and was under terrible abuse my ex husband of 20 years ,and 3 children did go to jail for 14 months pathetic sentance for what he did to me.
And i still live with nightmares etc.....
They hate being found out by others what the monster they really are shows its face.
Thankyou for sharing 😢
Great Pod cast, Thank you for letting Ruth speak, she's a strong little lady ❤
Thank you for speaking out and shining a light on a very complex issue. You spoke of some very familiar behaviours - you’ve done so well to get out of it eventually. The utter sadness is that it’s not that easy to walk away from - it’s so much easier to hide it all. I really hope you and your kids go on to live fulfilled lives - thank you for sharing x❤
Thank you for speaking out and supporting anyone going through abuse. Great podcast.
What a lovely lady I wish her good luck 💖💖
Thank you so much Ruth! ❤
I am a survivor of Domestic Abuse .. I was 17 years old , and the man was a bully , I was even hurt when I was pregnant .!!! .. Ruth I feel yr pain , these men aren’t nasty all the time , it’s very confusing .. 😢
@@lynnejones7206 stand strong Lynne
❤❤
That’s the definition of abuse, where you don’t know when it’s coming, and they always say they are sorry, it won’t happen again, and then it does. Intermittent reinforcement.
You become numb, exhausted and more afraid of leaving than staying.
I relate to that
Amazing strength and courage. You are an inspiration Ruth.
Another powerful story.👍
You have what money can't buy . ...
YOUR LIFE and
your children's LIFE !
Usually, men accusing their wives of affairs are the ones having affairs. I was also in an abusive relationship but could not love someone who was hurting and frightening me.
Brilliant that you are diversifying with your range of guests.
Fair play to you as you will grow as an interviewer too .
❤
@thecentralclub agree can see you going right to the top as a interviewer, everytime In Cardiff I always hope to bump into you Cullen 👍
@ that’s really kind of you Richard! Always appreciate the love and support. Happy New Year, Stay Central
I used to find the 'good times ' terrifying too knowing at some point it was going to blow up and each time it got worse
❤
Oh my word,getting further into the video,my respect for Ruth has gone up a 10,000% she is an amazing lady!!❤❤
It is SOOOO Good of Ruth to come out with her story. She gives other hope that they are not alone. When you think it is just people in poverty, and the stresses of being jobless, or poor, etc, and it is NOT. The richest of people and the most famous of people can be in that situation. Look at that Princess from Daubi...She had to go into hiding from her husband Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al-Maktoum, he was able to 'snatch' her kids back from her. She had all the money in the world but could not hide from her abusive husband. (and boy does he look evil too)!! THANK YOU Ruth for speaking out.
I like Ruth she seems like a lovely woman
Respect ✊🏻 from Splott
Oh dear, Splott was where my abusive ex partner and his family lived. And as a very naive 19 year old I moved from Staffordshire to live with him, huge, huge mistake.
@karenjones7267 been here since the 70s, nice little house in a nice little cul-de-sac.
My dad was domestic abuse by my mother in every way, and I say 'was' not because he got away but because he ended up taking him own life because she wouldn't let him leave and he couldn't see any other way out. 14 years later she's lives like she done nothing wrong, told me her own daughter to drop dead and that I was the biggest mistake of her life and he's not here, I miss him everyday 😢
wow , that's just terrible , Terrible that she's made him lose his innocent life and Terrible that you're left with the abuser talking to you like that . I really hope you can get far far away from her. May you have a blessed 2025
What an absolute bitch. I hope you are strong enough to protect yourself from her. Have nothing to do with her. She's evil. Have faith, you'll be with your Dad again. Keep strong ❤
Very good podcast. Thanks to you both
Hi luv, I sent you a reply but I can't find it so I will try again. Your mother sounds like mine.....an absolute bitch. Be strong enough to walk away. Have faith, you will be with your beloved dad again. Keep strong. I hope this reply goes through this time. Bless you xx
Domestic abuse is no joke. I suffered mental abuse during the physical after I finished with him. The mental abuse is far worse. It lives with you for the rest of your life and affects other relationships. It's not you it's them. Detangling those webs to break loose takes years. The stalking and constantly being monitored somehow through his friends & family. I'm glad I didn't marry or put him on my mortgage. He left me with debt, which of some I still have. Played emotional blackmail with our son and hurt him so bad. We're free 15 years on. You stay longer because of kids, but my advice is you should leave ASAP. Even when they say nobody will ever want you as a single mum and nobody would love you. Mind games !
However baring in mind the most dangerous time is when a woman is planning to leave or has just left. Use a safety plan
Worked in Cardiff prison everyone who met Ruths ex said what an arrogant creepy character he was.
I never had the pleasure 🤬
Everyone in Swansea knew what he was like.
@@WalesGaming86someone told me when he had nightclub he was arrogant and used his influence to intimadate people.Is this true.
If you meet someone and they show a quick temper,walk away,and I mean that about friends too,I think Ruth was young and not worldly wise about what people can be like,it's a learning curve for all of us, hopefully we see the signs after experiencing it.
Brilliant video
It's hard to explain to anyone the humiliation and shame you feel when your husband hits you. The first time most especially but it's bewildering and crushing...and that's exactly the intention.
My first boyfriend met when I was 16 he was 19 and very handsome! All the girls were after him! This was in the 70s we got married he become violent and very possessive time me round shops had 15 minutes to get shopping, we had a son and another on the way. He started going to clubs staying out ! If I said anything I would get hit black eyes! Another son came along so had 2 boys. Thought he would change (they don't)!! Lots went on I divorced him!! But after 10 months of divorce he went missing! Police were looking over 12 months! One night 4 plain clothes police knocked at my door 2 English and 2 French police. They asked me were and what marks on his body and who his dentist was. Told them...then they told me he was dead and been buried in a paupers grave in France!! He was found on a motorway embankment his throat had been cut! He was 30. His body was brought back to the UK and he was cremated! That was 39 years ago. English police say it was murder and French police say was suicide! To this day we still don't know! But he has left me physically and mentally scarred!! He gave me a bad time for 7 years! My body is scarred when he put me through a window and the beating and the jealousy was horrendous!! But didn't wish that to happen to him!! I blame myself for his death it never leaves you!! So he's till torture to me in death!
He obviously did a good job on you that you believe you caused his end. Likelihood is, he caused his own end. Celebrate that you escaped. Maybe talk to other abused partners, when you realise that guilt is part of the training process maybe you'll find it easier to relinquish your guilt. It takes a while to cast off the brainwashing, but eventually the dreams stop and a good night of sleep takes over. I wish you well. All the best to you.
Yet some women are soo deeply traumatised, that they can never for a relationship again, let alone remarry.
Yes the trust and fear is absolutely all encompassing
I was in one for thirty years 😢
There's something wrong with your audio. The jingle sounds find but after that it sounds like my phone is under water but my phone is fine
@@CraigAnthony79 I’ve checked again it seems fine mate
Same here.
On my headphones the audio is only working through the left side so maybe that’s the problem. Another interesting episode once again!
I have got the volume on full on the tv it isn't very clear xx
Yes, sound is deffo tinny and only working through left ear, even with top quality headphones … content is fantastic though. Thank you .
How can I link with your podcast? Would love to get involved! From Cardiff.
@@Cuppacuriositypodcast email us mate.
My policeman ex husband broke my nose. Who was I supposed to turn to ??
Yes it's very common with police apparently...is it a power trip?
❤❤
New subscriber here to support your channel and ruth x DV is like living in hell. Please if you need to get out its the most dangerous time.....have a plan ask for help and get out x
❤
DV is hidden and you don't realise it's happening at first. I could spot it a mile away now.
Just watched this and I have never seen such a uninterested podcaster yawning and looking bored can’t believe this women got him over 17k was cringing to watch brave woman shame about the host
No one to elp me back in the eighties. I was stabbed no one helped me.
left ear only ?
Hasnt she re married ? I get she suffered domestic abuse by her ex, but time to move on with her new partner by now, put her past behind her. Life is too short .
This could be dramatic, I'l tune in
Really good actually hope you enjoy x
don't go near him for as long as possible
Once and done…I’d be gone
Wots wignel up to now
How ridiculous. If you hadnt met him, you would have still been a fab person anyway. Thats just denying yourself!!!!🙄
I'm not sure why she thought it was relevant for her to tell us, how we were meant to have viewed her, due to her being on Tv!. Most people don't give people on TV a second thought!. We are far to busy living our own lives!. I could only watch 11 minutes as she even prejuges domestic abuse herself!. Saying she doesn't fit the norm!.
@@Cat_Woman2025 mmm i have to disagree with this Cat Lady 🫤🙂
I don't know who she is. I don't think being in the media is a reason to be admired either.
You are so disrespectful looking at you're phone whilst she's talking, read the room ffs
@@georgienield2955 and your so disrespectful thinking that’s what I’m doing, me and Ruth had the conversation before the show and my questions were on there because the tablet broke. And no I don’t want an apology smart arse
@thecentralclub you even yawned! Or did you miss that bit... the way she looked at you I felt that.
@ clearly your nothing but a hater, you didn’t acknowledge the answer I’ve given you instead looked for something else.
Georgie I recon you should start a podcast
She married a friend , maybe the ex was on to something who knows.
There’s never any excuse for domestic violence and sounds like he did enough to warrant her looking elsewhere for happiness. That’s the stupid thing about it being paranoid about there being someone else, it’s a sure way to drive someone in to the arms of another.
My God.
Weirdo
Did she say everywhere she goes "everyone knows her" I have no idea who she is. I can imagine living with this self-absorbed narcissist was very wearing
@clarissa-xd9iu she didn’t mean it like that and she means in Wales
@@thecentralclub 🤔🙄🤗
@clarissa-xd9iu you obviously don’t live in Wales. Ruth is our princess of the weather forecast!!! Every day we relied on Ruth to tell us how much wind and rain to expect tomorrow! 🏴 ☔️ 🌪️
I have no idea, who this woman is...
@@AnnHollowell-l1v she’s the Weather Lady on ITV has been for 30 years
Couldn't she have gone to live with her parents!!!!!
She probably didn't want to drag them into it. He would know where her parents live and turn up and made a scene. You are trapped by shame and guilt. It's very complex.Good for her for speaking out can't be easy, special when lots will ridicule you.
Question is why should she of ? She's the victim, think she went through enough without leaving her home for putting up with his bullying.
Ai generated thought farming