I've been taking online tests and researching and i think im autistic. I'm glad to hear about your very active imagination, I'm also very imaginative. I played pretend as a kid so much with my siblings and cousins and friends and just anybody. people loved it, they were being welcomed into a world of magic, it was really cool. I never wanted to grow up because i thought then I'll b a boring adult with no imagination
Last year I finished a series of short novels. They're not perfect, but they don't have to be. That was really the gift of a Brit friend. He paraphrased a quote, "Perfect is the enemy of done." That idea freed me to finish projects. This is so important because as I wrote book four, my writing had improved significantly. I didn't allow myself to go back and endlessly revise. I can now that the books are done. I've gone through and fixed a lot of grammar that I got wrong, and one day I'll update the books. The other thing I really believe in is being incremental. I renovated a house we moved into in three years just by doing one 15 min task a day. I learned to write by writing a 1000 word blog post a day for several years. Nobody reads them. But I finished my novel series by writing a chapter to a half chapter a day. (My chapters are short.) This is the "write every day" advice, but I really see it as an effective method of tackling any larger project. Just start writing. Don't worry about which idea is going to be "the one." You really can't tell. Try it out and the great ideas will energize you. One of the nice things about having a lot of ideas is you can switch when you burn out. I work on a project until I can't stand it anymore and then switch to another.
I relate to this so much. I could have made this video myself (suspected neurodivergent). Currently I am planning to make an entire animated movie even though I don't know how yet. I am always collecting ideas and making scenes in my head. But the disconnect between imagination and execution is frustrating, inevitable. Anyway, I liked how you expressed this in this video. Nice to see others with a similar problem, though of course I wish nobody had this problem.
I would watch this movie. And yes, this sounds exactly like how I feel about expressing things. But I remain optimistic we'll get there one day :) Rooting for you!
That sounds amazing, honestly! I’m rooting for you!! I’m an aspiring writer and I often imagine scenes in my head as being animated. I definitely regret not having studied animation or art and sometimes wonder if I should have chosen that path instead. I'm diagnosed with ADHD though so my dream career tends to change on a daily basis lmao
@sophs8548 and @beesmcgee4223 Thats when people get together to do such a project. I like the fact that movies and animated movies are awesome to be done in groups.
I dulled my imagination for years, being constantly told as a child you're "away with the fairies" or "in a dreamworld" or as I got older being "childish" chips away and I think I put it away and now trying to be able to express that again in anyway makes me feel so vulnerable and embarrassed. I am trying to reconnect with it though and learn how to express it. But yeah art is the pursuit of perfect expression knowing it will never be attained.
I’ve said for over a decade that I want to be a writer, once I have the chance I procrastinate, because it feels like what I write doesn’t match how it feels in my head. So I can relate.
This just helped click something for me, I’ve been trying to write this big story for years and years of my life but if feels like every image, scene, idea has an ocean of something in between my brain refuses to fully grasp. I keep coming up with ideas but I have no framework for execution. Even when I look up writing advice online none of it takes this into account. It’s like if you could only imagine the cool hard hitting parts of a movie but you have no clue how to get yourself to create the buildup and strings in between the big scenes
Maybe if you get some sort of guider or a person to help manage the process of creating a history. Doing little by little until you have enough material. I got some storytelling classes, and having someone as a teacher and also having deliveries scheduled in a calendar heps a lot! Cuz for me it was like producing to later analyse whats working or not and then keep going with the process until the final delivery.
STORY OF MY LIFE, I got like 1000s of notes for story ideas but I'm a perfectionist so every time I start writing I eventually scrap it, This problem has bothered me so much that I feel like the perfect character for my story is someone who is a perfectionist and struggle with this and expression. Idk why but the thought of just baking the theme of not being to express it all into my world and character I think somewhat makes me reliefs me of the stress of knowing I won't ever get all my ideas down and I've made way more progress lately. ( I just found out I'm autistic at 25) Thank you for this video it's great
1. I feel you on that drive for storytelling. It has been the one throughline of my life - that whatever I do, I want to tell stories with it. 2. My personal approach to the limitations of expression is to see them as a feature, not a bug. By deciding what to express and what to exclude, you turn an idea into art. And art is at its heart about what *not* to say, and where we put our focus. 3. the most important lesson I've ever learned about starting anything is "just do it. learn as you go. grow as you learn. and watch your projects grow and flourish alongside you." This year, I am trying to finish a short story each month, and I am still learning. But the fact that I am doing it at all proves to me that I *can* turn my imagination into something worthwhile, and that is so valuable. 4. Experimenting with methods of expression, and staying flexible, can also help a lot with the process. Just simple things like switching between typing, hand-writing, and voice-to-text recording one's speech can be really useful, especially if one gets stuck with either of the methods.
"the limitations of expression... a feature, not a bug" - I NEED THIS ON A FRIGGIN' T-SHIRT :) This is such a good way of looking at things and I am happy you put this in a comment here. Thank you
my brain imagines many future scanarios and much of the past. its like a little internal movie theatre with moving pictures, sound and sometimes other imaginery sensory experiences. im not sure we want to dump out the contents of our brains. keep most of it in reserve like a wood pile. keep your brain content stacked high with dry wood. share some kindling and a few logs with your friends, family and audience. we dont want to set the house on fire and burn it all up in one blaze. your you tube channel can be your storytelling platform. your personal story is your greatest gift to the neurodivergent community.
This is so therapeutic. I just turned it to I want to experience it. I’ll grab my little sticks and draw out what I can as I go. But it’s not to always be expressed. It’s mainly to find joy in experiencing it solely. The rest is extra.
Mm… yes this was like listening to a part of myself. The “I don’t have to share everything” is a poignant thought I had the other day. How I’ve always cherished secrets within my self and my imagination… and how that’s okay to do that again.
i believe i'm autistic and have loved writing for most of my life, so i really related to a lot of this. the last several years i've struggled to make myself write (the world has been way too stressful lol but also that's no excuse bc i know i could if i tried hard enough.. alas.) but before that, i found that editing was such a revelation for me. my stories went from making me cringe and hate things on rereading and not getting across the emotions i wanted properly, through then thinking about them and characters for long amounts of time and fleshing things out and adjusting where needed and getting deep into the details of word choices, i was able to make the words+emotions get sooooooo much closer to how i imagined them in my head from the start. this made me love the editing process so much more than i ever thought i could've-the problem only then became knowing when to stop and let something be 'finished' 😂😩😩
Thank you for this video :) The video may have small reach, but for those who it impacts, it's really helpful. I see this as the permission (...forgiveness, even) to let go of all the bad/mediocre/unfinished ideas I've ever had. Our imaginations will outrun our abilities and that's okay. If I can make good on the 10% of actually good ideas, and make peace with letting go of the rest, that's a better tradeoff than constantly being stuck under the guilt of having a bazillion ideas and never doing anything with any of them. It's no understatement that this is a life-changing, effort-focusing revelation for you - and me too. Thank you again :)
Will be 62 this year and my TH-cam suggestions are filling with new creators that I resonate with. There's a lot of background in my life, and many months ago self diagnosed Autism Spectrum. It's become clearer why things are as they are. It seems like I'll be needing to be careful navigating all this, like I had to in trauma therapy for childhood ptsd. There's more to that as well. Take care, best wishes. Hope your birthday was nice.
I can't believe I wrote about this EXACT experience in my journal yesterday and today I was recommended this video. Is the algorithm slowly creeping into my brain or is this the fabled telepathic link of the neurodivergent community? It becomes especially challenging when my dopamine-addled brain decides it’s a good idea to give up on a stable job essentially pursue this very unstable, very elusive dream that at the moment exists mostly in my head and not at all on paper (I’ve never managed to finish a single long project in my life, only a handful of short stories). It’s frustrating to have such a strong emotional desire for something but have your brain also actively defy that desire by procrastinating and second-guessing your abilities. Something I get bogged down by is definitely the hyper-awareness of different outcomes when plotting a story, or even the myriad of ways I could structure a sentence, to the point that the entire process becomes an overwhelming slog and I have to give up after dredging up a single paragraph from my supersonic soup of thoughts.
Yep. I am basically hearing myself being described in this video. Imagination is hugely powerful in my own head and I don’t know how to share even just a little bit. I can’t draw, paint, write music, create art, even just trying to tell someone how I’m feeling is impossible at times. I prefer text talking to convey my feelings but that doesn’t have any of the nuances that real talking does. My brain just goes blank and I hate that. If there was a way to hook up your brain to a printing machine or something and be able to get all the things you want to do out in reality while still keeping the stuff you want to yourself to yourself. Been trying to figure that out for ages. And the seeing all the possibilities of something? Yep, that’s me. “Hold on, let me overthink this” is the saying between my mom and me when I get into that much overthinking about everything. I had someone call it Analysis Paralysis last week and that fits too. I’ll just think of all the ways something could go right, go wrong, go midline and just worry myself right into a hole of not doing anything. Or procrastination, that’s a big one in my head. I just feel like there’s so much to do that I get overwhelmed by it all and just don’t do the thing I really wanted to do because I’m scared I’ll fail, it’ll look horrible, people will hate it, so I just avoid doing anything. Quite taxing on the noggin having all these things going round all the time.
Probably the most I’ve ever related to an ADHD/autism related vid. I’ve had worlds built in my head since childhood, but my expression of these worlds has been pretty limited over the years, mostly due to (in the case of long form novels) being overwhelmed by the minutiae of it all. I even got bored one week and somewhat recently wrote “last chapters” of some of the stories I wrote as a kid, pretty much as a way to resolve their character arcs. (It was honestly a pretty cool concept; I put myself in the story to “end their world” and resolve their story, but also to bring them home into my mind as a heaven of sorts, and then they in turn will be with God in the end along with me. Like a Russian nesting doll of creation) I also was/am a prolific poet hahaha I guess I would say that in my own view, our unrequited imaginative endeavors are gifts to God, Who sees them as we intended them and is pleased by them like the loving Father He is. It may suck to not fully feel like you can express what’s in your head, but there’s at least Someone else who sees exactly what you’re striving for This seems kind of weird and self-centered-ish seeing it written out, but I hope it doesn’t come off that way to y’all
1. I relate so much, your standpoint is totally valid! Storytelling, especially if you are ND is very hard. I have OCD and my paranoia and peculiar organization methods make it uncomfortable at times to defy chronological/linear story structures. But there’s so many ideas rushing all at once! And too many scenarios congesting one’s thought! So I relate to an extensive degree. 2. I love your Ziggy Stardust poster :) it’s the reason why I clicked the vid haha !
Thanks for sharing your experiences - this makes a lot of sense to me. And thanks! We're in the middle of redecorating the room, and on reflection I'm not sure sitting in front of a wall full of holes is that aesthetically pleasing!
I relate so strongly to everything you said. The way you philosophise about it is also the same as me. I’ve never heard anyone talk like this about this topic/problem so it is very welcome to hear, thank you for sharing. Subscribed 😺
Well dang, if you ever figure it out let us know, because I feel the same. Currently I'm going down the route of getting a good voice recorder to record ideas throughout the day, because my problem seems to be once I pick up a pen my brain switches from the imagination to how to use a pen, lol.
I'd say stay curious and optimistic. Of everything I've tried, I'm finding that video is the easiest and most honest way for me to express myself. You'll work it out :)
I decided on taking up this habit one day about a month ago and haven’t done a recording since haha But I’d say it definitely works, because I can go back to the original thoughts I had in a form that most resembles how my brain formed them. When I try to jot them down my writing speed doesn’t match my thought speed and I end up forgetting what I was even thinking about
We are so similar! It’s like watching myself. Also 31. Thank you for helping me to see that I am neurodivergent. It brings a lot of clarity and a feeling of inner compassion. I’ve been told that I’m different my entire life and this has felt isolating at times. I have the same fear and struggle with imagination vs expression, just as you’ve described it. I see incredible imagery, hear the most intricate songs in my head, but cannot manifest them in this life, with the constraints of this ephemeral body and mind. I have come to terms with the fact that time is the limiting factor, so I must choose the most important dream and make a commitment to myself to work on it every day. Even if I can only focus for 15 minutes. For me, failing to manifest any single thing to its fullest extent, is worse than imagining everything and manifesting nothing.
So happy to hear my video has helped. I'm about to post a new video talking about the relationship between my mind and physical body - so funny you've just mentioned it! Would love to know what you think about it :)
I am your 500th subscriber! Great video. It's the first time I have seen anyone express this way of thinking clearly. As I've told my wife, my favorite pastime in life is thinking deeply. We have a bandwidth problem; it is impossible to get it all out in the way it appears in our heads.
Relating so hard! I’m not sure exactly what kind of neurodivergence I possess, but it’s certainly there. The people I relate the most to are people who are neurodivergent. Thank you so much for making this expression of your imagination 😊 It encourages me so much. I’m almost 30, and I totally relate to writing emo journal entries and poetry 😄
Glad I stumbled upon this video. I've not really seen anyone talk about this disconnect, which I feel profoundly. That said, you _are_ telling a story, and creating work with this video, so you're kinda "doing it" already, but perhaps not in the way you imagine.
Thank you. And I agree with you. I picture fiction, but maybe this is a metier for me. Let me know if there's anything else you think about that isn't floating around on TH-cam. If I can relate, I'll record it.
Thank you for the video! As soon as I read the description I could relate immediately. When I was younger, I didn’t have a voice. I could speak but I felt it wasn’t safe to do so. I also felt trapped in my head with all these wonderful images and scenarios that I couldn’t adequately express. It was like trying to draw a picture with an oversized crayon and my non- dominant hand. It never came out anywhere near what I imagined in my head. I could never do my imagination any justice. But little by little, I saw that others could articulate a fully developed, crystal-clear picture of their ideas. It was as though I was watching precious gems coming out of their mouths. And that gave me a sliver of hope. I saw that the level of communication I wanted to have existed out there somewhere. I strove to develop that same skill but always felt it was just out of my reach. Until recently, after decades of writing and self expression, I looked upon something I wrote and said “I wrote that!” I finally had impressed myself. I don’t say that in a conceited way, I simply mean that I had achieved a certain level of mastery that I never imagined I could. Your video reminded me of something I have found helpful which is to not allow what I cannot do to get in the way of what I can do. I don’t know what my “ultimate artistic medium” is or even of it exists, but I can nonetheless keep practicing and trying new things and trust that the answers will come eventually. There is another side to any dilemma if I keep walking along the path. Today you gave me that reminder, to keep walking in trust and hope because it’s what I need and what others can certainly benefit from. Cheers. PS: if you ever want to discuss more about this just let me know. I’d love a quick, or not so quick, chat about this interesting topic.
Art is born out of that aspiration to share! I recognize the feeling of imagining something but not being able to put it into material form, but even if we did manage to do it, would others perceive it in the same way we did? Blessings 🌻
Damn. I have so much in common it is overwhelming on multiple levels ... #AuDHD #Emo #CaringTooMuch #CanOneCareTooMuch #OutOfTheBox #WhatBox #WhatBoundary #OoopsIDidItAgain #ScriptingAndOftenOffScript #TensionBetweenADHDandASD #UnAcheivedPotential #StudentsITaughtAndOthersIHelpedZoomPast #AmIMeantToBeABohemian #WritingDrawingComposingCoding #IsTheRenaissanceStillHere #WhenIAmGoingToRunOutOfThoughts #MyStoriesAreNonLinear #UnfinishedProjects .#UnfinishedSentence ...
From someone from the older generation. The words we used was, 'ground yourself in your feelings'. Getting out of your head, is one thing - the best place to consistently go, is into your body (of feelings). It stops overworking those squishy hemispheres and blowing the brain fuses (meltdown, depression et all). That why 'they' say, write from your own experience! Hope that helps - of course, much easier said / typed than don't; but at least, you feel like you're head the right way!
Are you me? Bloody hell. I have 10 different story ideas, moments and characters in different mediums- Shows, games, books. Then it never goes anywhere because I think of all the possibilities of how it could turn out, or that I need to plan out details but can only think in big picture concepts.
I can relate. So many ideas, so little made into reality. Perhaps you can't tell ALL your stories, but maybe you could tell one. Or at least half of one (which most people will probably think is amazingly in depth).
@@hesterlonergan speech patterns...but without the W. Something to look into is persistent drive for autonomy (PDA) idk, kinda helps make sense of my own personal artistic leaps.
Thats exactly like this! I have problems when trying to focus in family talks, and if there is a music playing in the background i start analysing the lyrics if its a different lenguage or how the instruments are beying played. Its hard to priorize attention. Thanks for sharing!
OMG - at around 4mins you've just described my exact approach to tasks/projects - I'm trying to change and see time as a resource, and that my time is precious - essentially more precious than the result of this project - and that the achievement of the result will not define my worth (I think we AuDHDers have a big shame thing where we feel we must prove our worth/existence) - back to pt -> that efficiency - how quickly you can achieve an acceptable result is more important and more satisfying because you weren't wasteful with time/energy (rather than sacrificing it / not valuing it)
every artist has felt, as the U2 line, goes 'they kill their inspiration and sing about the grief' listening to this I feel like being a (local) journalist - to create a narrative to a deadline would be really useful to sharpen your 'fear of the page' - being able to just bang out copy and then being able to do the same with your first drafts etc. - I have a friend who is a frustrated screenwriter but he never writes - though when he does its usually quite good - he's involved in the film industry but he's floating around waiting for inspiration/skill to strike and (another cliche) 'inspiration has to find you working'.
actually just read the numbered comment - pt.2 is great if you consider an artist is allowing/providing a space for the reader/viewer's own experience (imagination) and you are providing the scaffold/aura of a world for their imagination to roam in..
The cat moment was genuinely "is this going to take a horrible turn!?" Generally agree and def not right to beat yourself up for not being able to express all that you feel capable of. But I also think sometimes you can express *more* than your imagination, once you start working on something. You know? Things can kind of come out of nowhere during a project. And so it's not like I had that inside me, it's like a cooperative enterprise between my imagination and then what happens on the page/screen/etc. Does that make any sense?
Makes total sense, and thanks for commenting. When I manage to pass go and start creating, often I find the things that come out weren't part of the plan, but are either equal to or greater than what I wanted. I think that's part of the tension between ADHD/autistic for me - the impulse for deep planning mixed with procrastination meaning making a start is so difficult, but then finding that if I can get myself there I have way more freedom and flexibility than I think I do beforehand. Does that make sense? I'm trying something different in this video, the others I've done and some of the ideas I have for more. I've deliberately not created a theme/plan/direction as I recognise doing so can weigh me down. System building is intuitive for me, and I'm using this as an opportunity to see whether I can create a cohesive collection of content on a less conscious level. Sorry for all the alliteration there - couldn't think of an alternative!
@@hesterlonergan That "if I can get myself there" can be so tragically elusive! I definitely relate to that surprise. Before I start something I have to get through this huge sense of resistance, which includes heavy self doubt, so the idea that new good things might occur to me when I start feels about as likely as swallowing Jupiter. That's a super interesting approach. Do you prefer it this way, or too early to tell? For me I flip between system building and impulsivity, but rarely publish or complete anything. Mostly for fear that it might not be received spectacularly, and I'm concerned I'd then feel ashamed for even trying. Thanks for your videos - they're very relatable!
| i ' m trying to establish a repeatable method for shipping an idea the same day i see the idea | it has to be repeatable so i can iterate the process just like we iterate our artifacts | there will be judgements of what ends up being shipped , but ignore them | i need a fast and effective enough process to contribute what i ' ve collected and connected , otherwise i just have massive collection of potential |
the problem with adhd people is they think they can solve everything in their own head, but our minds cant solve problems fully without extenuating things,
I've been taking online tests and researching and i think im autistic. I'm glad to hear about your very active imagination, I'm also very imaginative. I played pretend as a kid so much with my siblings and cousins and friends and just anybody. people loved it, they were being welcomed into a world of magic, it was really cool. I never wanted to grow up because i thought then I'll b a boring adult with no imagination
Last year I finished a series of short novels. They're not perfect, but they don't have to be. That was really the gift of a Brit friend. He paraphrased a quote, "Perfect is the enemy of done." That idea freed me to finish projects.
This is so important because as I wrote book four, my writing had improved significantly. I didn't allow myself to go back and endlessly revise. I can now that the books are done. I've gone through and fixed a lot of grammar that I got wrong, and one day I'll update the books.
The other thing I really believe in is being incremental. I renovated a house we moved into in three years just by doing one 15 min task a day. I learned to write by writing a 1000 word blog post a day for several years. Nobody reads them. But I finished my novel series by writing a chapter to a half chapter a day. (My chapters are short.) This is the "write every day" advice, but I really see it as an effective method of tackling any larger project.
Just start writing. Don't worry about which idea is going to be "the one." You really can't tell. Try it out and the great ideas will energize you.
One of the nice things about having a lot of ideas is you can switch when you burn out. I work on a project until I can't stand it anymore and then switch to another.
* just came across this 'no-zero day' approach - everyday move a project forward even by a paragraph or a push-up or mending a hinge/door handle :)
I relate to this so much. I could have made this video myself (suspected neurodivergent). Currently I am planning to make an entire animated movie even though I don't know how yet. I am always collecting ideas and making scenes in my head. But the disconnect between imagination and execution is frustrating, inevitable. Anyway, I liked how you expressed this in this video. Nice to see others with a similar problem, though of course I wish nobody had this problem.
I would watch this movie. And yes, this sounds exactly like how I feel about expressing things. But I remain optimistic we'll get there one day :) Rooting for you!
@@hesterlonergan I really hope so! Thank you ^.^
That sounds amazing, honestly! I’m rooting for you!! I’m an aspiring writer and I often imagine scenes in my head as being animated. I definitely regret not having studied animation or art and sometimes wonder if I should have chosen that path instead. I'm diagnosed with ADHD though so my dream career tends to change on a daily basis lmao
@sophs8548 and @beesmcgee4223
Thats when people get together to do such a project.
I like the fact that movies and animated movies are awesome to be done in groups.
No problems, only challenges 😉
I dulled my imagination for years, being constantly told as a child you're "away with the fairies" or "in a dreamworld" or as I got older being "childish" chips away and I think I put it away and now trying to be able to express that again in anyway makes me feel so vulnerable and embarrassed. I am trying to reconnect with it though and learn how to express it. But yeah art is the pursuit of perfect expression knowing it will never be attained.
I’ve said for over a decade that I want to be a writer, once I have the chance I procrastinate, because it feels like what I write doesn’t match how it feels in my head. So I can relate.
This just helped click something for me, I’ve been trying to write this big story for years and years of my life but if feels like every image, scene, idea has an ocean of something in between my brain refuses to fully grasp. I keep coming up with ideas but I have no framework for execution. Even when I look up writing advice online none of it takes this into account. It’s like if you could only imagine the cool hard hitting parts of a movie but you have no clue how to get yourself to create the buildup and strings in between the big scenes
Maybe if you get some sort of guider or a person to help manage the process of creating a history. Doing little by little until you have enough material.
I got some storytelling classes, and having someone as a teacher and also having deliveries scheduled in a calendar heps a lot! Cuz for me it was like producing to later analyse whats working or not and then keep going with the process until the final delivery.
STORY OF MY LIFE, I got like 1000s of notes for story ideas but I'm a perfectionist so every time I start writing I eventually scrap it, This problem has bothered me so much that I feel like the perfect character for my story is someone who is a perfectionist and struggle with this and expression. Idk why but the thought of just baking the theme of not being to express it all into my world and character I think somewhat makes me reliefs me of the stress of knowing I won't ever get all my ideas down and I've made way more progress lately. ( I just found out I'm autistic at 25) Thank you for this video it's great
1. I feel you on that drive for storytelling. It has been the one throughline of my life - that whatever I do, I want to tell stories with it.
2. My personal approach to the limitations of expression is to see them as a feature, not a bug. By deciding what to express and what to exclude, you turn an idea into art. And art is at its heart about what *not* to say, and where we put our focus.
3. the most important lesson I've ever learned about starting anything is "just do it. learn as you go. grow as you learn. and watch your projects grow and flourish alongside you." This year, I am trying to finish a short story each month, and I am still learning. But the fact that I am doing it at all proves to me that I *can* turn my imagination into something worthwhile, and that is so valuable.
4. Experimenting with methods of expression, and staying flexible, can also help a lot with the process. Just simple things like switching between typing, hand-writing, and voice-to-text recording one's speech can be really useful, especially if one gets stuck with either of the methods.
Thank you for sharing this! So much for me to reflect on.
"the limitations of expression... a feature, not a bug" - I NEED THIS ON A FRIGGIN' T-SHIRT :) This is such a good way of looking at things and I am happy you put this in a comment here. Thank you
EXACTLY! Like I don't have enough *hand skills* to get the ideas from my head to my hand. Sooooo many ideas! 😍
Yes this! My brain can compose fully orchestrated Bach-like fugues, but my hands are useless.
my brain imagines many future scanarios and much of the past. its like a little internal movie theatre with moving pictures, sound and sometimes other imaginery sensory experiences. im not sure we want to dump out the contents of our brains. keep most of it in reserve like a wood pile. keep your brain content stacked high with dry wood. share some kindling and a few logs with your friends, family and audience. we dont want to set the house on fire and burn it all up in one blaze. your you tube channel can be your storytelling platform. your personal story is your greatest gift to the neurodivergent community.
This is so therapeutic. I just turned it to I want to experience it. I’ll grab my little sticks and draw out what I can as I go. But it’s not to always be expressed. It’s mainly to find joy in experiencing it solely. The rest is extra.
This makes me feel seen. Thank you!
Mm… yes this was like listening to a part of myself. The “I don’t have to share everything” is a poignant thought I had the other day. How I’ve always cherished secrets within my self and my imagination… and how that’s okay to do that again.
Yes!
i believe i'm autistic and have loved writing for most of my life, so i really related to a lot of this. the last several years i've struggled to make myself write (the world has been way too stressful lol but also that's no excuse bc i know i could if i tried hard enough.. alas.) but before that, i found that editing was such a revelation for me. my stories went from making me cringe and hate things on rereading and not getting across the emotions i wanted properly, through then thinking about them and characters for long amounts of time and fleshing things out and adjusting where needed and getting deep into the details of word choices, i was able to make the words+emotions get sooooooo much closer to how i imagined them in my head from the start. this made me love the editing process so much more than i ever thought i could've-the problem only then became knowing when to stop and let something be 'finished' 😂😩😩
wow- I never knew how to articulate this for myself. you’re really making things make sense for me
Thank you for this video :) The video may have small reach, but for those who it impacts, it's really helpful. I see this as the permission (...forgiveness, even) to let go of all the bad/mediocre/unfinished ideas I've ever had. Our imaginations will outrun our abilities and that's okay. If I can make good on the 10% of actually good ideas, and make peace with letting go of the rest, that's a better tradeoff than constantly being stuck under the guilt of having a bazillion ideas and never doing anything with any of them. It's no understatement that this is a life-changing, effort-focusing revelation for you - and me too. Thank you again :)
Will be 62 this year and my TH-cam suggestions are filling with new creators that I resonate with. There's a lot of background in my life, and many months ago self diagnosed Autism Spectrum. It's become clearer why things are as they are. It seems like I'll be needing to be careful navigating all this, like I had to in trauma therapy for childhood ptsd. There's more to that as well.
Take care, best wishes. Hope your birthday was nice.
You sound similar to me.
I can't believe I wrote about this EXACT experience in my journal yesterday and today I was recommended this video. Is the algorithm slowly creeping into my brain or is this the fabled telepathic link of the neurodivergent community?
It becomes especially challenging when my dopamine-addled brain decides it’s a good idea to give up on a stable job essentially pursue this very unstable, very elusive dream that at the moment exists mostly in my head and not at all on paper (I’ve never managed to finish a single long project in my life, only a handful of short stories). It’s frustrating to have such a strong emotional desire for something but have your brain also actively defy that desire by procrastinating and second-guessing your abilities. Something I get bogged down by is definitely the hyper-awareness of different outcomes when plotting a story, or even the myriad of ways I could structure a sentence, to the point that the entire process becomes an overwhelming slog and I have to give up after dredging up a single paragraph from my supersonic soup of thoughts.
Yep. I am basically hearing myself being described in this video. Imagination is hugely powerful in my own head and I don’t know how to share even just a little bit. I can’t draw, paint, write music, create art, even just trying to tell someone how I’m feeling is impossible at times. I prefer text talking to convey my feelings but that doesn’t have any of the nuances that real talking does. My brain just goes blank and I hate that. If there was a way to hook up your brain to a printing machine or something and be able to get all the things you want to do out in reality while still keeping the stuff you want to yourself to yourself. Been trying to figure that out for ages.
And the seeing all the possibilities of something? Yep, that’s me. “Hold on, let me overthink this” is the saying between my mom and me when I get into that much overthinking about everything. I had someone call it Analysis Paralysis last week and that fits too. I’ll just think of all the ways something could go right, go wrong, go midline and just worry myself right into a hole of not doing anything. Or procrastination, that’s a big one in my head. I just feel like there’s so much to do that I get overwhelmed by it all and just don’t do the thing I really wanted to do because I’m scared I’ll fail, it’ll look horrible, people will hate it, so I just avoid doing anything. Quite taxing on the noggin having all these things going round all the time.
Probably the most I’ve ever related to an ADHD/autism related vid. I’ve had worlds built in my head since childhood, but my expression of these worlds has been pretty limited over the years, mostly due to (in the case of long form novels) being overwhelmed by the minutiae of it all. I even got bored one week and somewhat recently wrote “last chapters” of some of the stories I wrote as a kid, pretty much as a way to resolve their character arcs. (It was honestly a pretty cool concept; I put myself in the story to “end their world” and resolve their story, but also to bring them home into my mind as a heaven of sorts, and then they in turn will be with God in the end along with me. Like a Russian nesting doll of creation) I also was/am a prolific poet hahaha
I guess I would say that in my own view, our unrequited imaginative endeavors are gifts to God, Who sees them as we intended them and is pleased by them like the loving Father He is. It may suck to not fully feel like you can express what’s in your head, but there’s at least Someone else who sees exactly what you’re striving for
This seems kind of weird and self-centered-ish seeing it written out, but I hope it doesn’t come off that way to y’all
You're alright but I don't believe in god
1. I relate so much, your standpoint is totally valid! Storytelling, especially if you are ND is very hard. I have OCD and my paranoia and peculiar organization methods make it uncomfortable at times to defy chronological/linear story structures. But there’s so many ideas rushing all at once! And too many scenarios congesting one’s thought! So I relate to an extensive degree.
2. I love your Ziggy Stardust poster :) it’s the reason why I clicked the vid haha !
Thanks for sharing your experiences - this makes a lot of sense to me. And thanks! We're in the middle of redecorating the room, and on reflection I'm not sure sitting in front of a wall full of holes is that aesthetically pleasing!
@@hesterlonergan when we have holes in the walls before redecorating we call them Andy Wallholes. I noticed the Bowie poster too.
I relate so strongly to everything you said. The way you philosophise about it is also the same as me. I’ve never heard anyone talk like this about this topic/problem so it is very welcome to hear, thank you for sharing. Subscribed 😺
@@tracik1277 lmao that’s genius
Well dang, if you ever figure it out let us know, because I feel the same.
Currently I'm going down the route of getting a good voice recorder to record ideas throughout the day, because my problem seems to be once I pick up a pen my brain switches from the imagination to how to use a pen, lol.
I'd say stay curious and optimistic. Of everything I've tried, I'm finding that video is the easiest and most honest way for me to express myself. You'll work it out :)
I decided on taking up this habit one day about a month ago and haven’t done a recording since haha
But I’d say it definitely works, because I can go back to the original thoughts I had in a form that most resembles how my brain formed them. When I try to jot them down my writing speed doesn’t match my thought speed and I end up forgetting what I was even thinking about
We are so similar! It’s like watching myself. Also 31.
Thank you for helping me to see that I am neurodivergent. It brings a lot of clarity and a feeling of inner compassion. I’ve been told that I’m different my entire life and this has felt isolating at times.
I have the same fear and struggle with imagination vs expression, just as you’ve described it. I see incredible imagery, hear the most intricate songs in my head, but cannot manifest them in this life, with the constraints of this ephemeral body and mind.
I have come to terms with the fact that time is the limiting factor, so I must choose the most important dream and make a commitment to myself to work on it every day. Even if I can only focus for 15 minutes. For me, failing to manifest any single thing to its fullest extent, is worse than imagining everything and manifesting nothing.
So happy to hear my video has helped. I'm about to post a new video talking about the relationship between my mind and physical body - so funny you've just mentioned it! Would love to know what you think about it :)
I relate so much to this.
I love the cat crashing your session. Thanks for leaving them in. ❤
I am your 500th subscriber! Great video. It's the first time I have seen anyone express this way of thinking clearly. As I've told my wife, my favorite pastime in life is thinking deeply. We have a bandwidth problem; it is impossible to get it all out in the way it appears in our heads.
Great to have you here and glad this resonated for you. Hopefully more good stuff is coming!
Relating so hard! I’m not sure exactly what kind of neurodivergence I possess, but it’s certainly there. The people I relate the most to are people who are neurodivergent. Thank you so much for making this expression of your imagination 😊 It encourages me so much. I’m almost 30, and I totally relate to writing emo journal entries and poetry 😄
Glad I stumbled upon this video. I've not really seen anyone talk about this disconnect, which I feel profoundly. That said, you _are_ telling a story, and creating work with this video, so you're kinda "doing it" already, but perhaps not in the way you imagine.
Thank you. And I agree with you. I picture fiction, but maybe this is a metier for me. Let me know if there's anything else you think about that isn't floating around on TH-cam. If I can relate, I'll record it.
Thank you for the video! As soon as I read the description I could relate immediately. When I was younger, I didn’t have a voice. I could speak but I felt it wasn’t safe to do so. I also felt trapped in my head with all these wonderful images and scenarios that I couldn’t adequately express. It was like trying to draw a picture with an oversized crayon and my non- dominant hand. It never came out anywhere near what I imagined in my head. I could never do my imagination any justice.
But little by little, I saw that others could articulate a fully developed, crystal-clear picture of their ideas. It was as though I was watching precious gems coming out of their mouths. And that gave me a sliver of hope. I saw that the level of communication I wanted to have existed out there somewhere. I strove to develop that same skill but always felt it was just out of my reach.
Until recently, after decades of writing and self expression, I looked upon something I wrote and said “I wrote that!”
I finally had impressed myself. I don’t say that in a conceited way, I simply mean that I had achieved a certain level of mastery that I never imagined I could.
Your video reminded me of something I have found helpful which is to not allow what I cannot do to get in the way of what I can do.
I don’t know what my “ultimate artistic medium” is or even of it exists, but I can nonetheless keep practicing and trying new things and trust that the answers will come eventually.
There is another side to any dilemma if I keep walking along the path.
Today you gave me that reminder, to keep walking in trust and hope because it’s what I need and what others can certainly benefit from. Cheers.
PS: if you ever want to discuss more about this just let me know. I’d love a quick, or not so quick, chat about this interesting topic.
Thanks for taking the time to share such an inspiring comment!
I have hundreds of in-progress short stories, hundreds of outlines, and hundreds more ideas written down. It’s... quite overwhelming.
Art is born out of that aspiration to share!
I recognize the feeling of imagining something but not being able to put it into material form, but even if we did manage to do it, would others perceive it in the same way we did? Blessings 🌻
Damn. I have so much in common it is overwhelming on multiple levels ... #AuDHD #Emo #CaringTooMuch #CanOneCareTooMuch #OutOfTheBox #WhatBox #WhatBoundary #OoopsIDidItAgain #ScriptingAndOftenOffScript #TensionBetweenADHDandASD #UnAcheivedPotential #StudentsITaughtAndOthersIHelpedZoomPast #AmIMeantToBeABohemian #WritingDrawingComposingCoding #IsTheRenaissanceStillHere #WhenIAmGoingToRunOutOfThoughts #MyStoriesAreNonLinear #UnfinishedProjects .#UnfinishedSentence ...
From someone from the older generation. The words we used was, 'ground yourself in your feelings'. Getting out of your head, is one thing - the best place to consistently go, is into your body (of feelings). It stops overworking those squishy hemispheres and blowing the brain fuses (meltdown, depression et all). That why 'they' say, write from your own experience!
Hope that helps - of course, much easier said / typed than don't; but at least, you feel like you're head the right way!
Wowwwww you just described my entire existence
Are you me? Bloody hell. I have 10 different story ideas, moments and characters in different mediums- Shows, games, books. Then it never goes anywhere because I think of all the possibilities of how it could turn out, or that I need to plan out details but can only think in big picture concepts.
I can relate. So many ideas, so little made into reality. Perhaps you can't tell ALL your stories, but maybe you could tell one. Or at least half of one (which most people will probably think is amazingly in depth).
Alrighty. Alll of this even down to your spewch patterns. Same. Same same same. ... Now i dont feel like im making things up
And now neither do I. Thanks, pleasure to have you here :)
@@hesterlonergan speech patterns...but without the W. Something to look into is persistent drive for autonomy (PDA) idk, kinda helps make sense of my own personal artistic leaps.
@@M.Shepardbee Ooo will have a look - thanks!
Same, thanks.
Thats exactly like this!
I have problems when trying to focus in family talks, and if there is a music playing in the background i start analysing the lyrics if its a different lenguage or how the instruments are beying played. Its hard to priorize attention.
Thanks for sharing!
OMG - at around 4mins you've just described my exact approach to tasks/projects - I'm trying to change and see time as a resource, and that my time is precious - essentially more precious than the result of this project - and that the achievement of the result will not define my worth (I think we AuDHDers have a big shame thing where we feel we must prove our worth/existence) - back to pt -> that efficiency - how quickly you can achieve an acceptable result is more important and more satisfying because you weren't wasteful with time/energy (rather than sacrificing it / not valuing it)
every artist has felt, as the U2 line, goes 'they kill their inspiration and sing about the grief'
listening to this I feel like being a (local) journalist - to create a narrative to a deadline would be really useful to sharpen your 'fear of the page' - being able to just bang out copy and then being able to do the same with your first drafts etc. - I have a friend who is a frustrated screenwriter but he never writes - though when he does its usually quite good - he's involved in the film industry but he's floating around waiting for inspiration/skill to strike and (another cliche) 'inspiration has to find you working'.
actually just read the numbered comment - pt.2 is great if you consider an artist is allowing/providing a space for the reader/viewer's own experience (imagination) and you are providing the scaffold/aura of a world for their imagination to roam in..
The cat moment was genuinely "is this going to take a horrible turn!?"
Generally agree and def not right to beat yourself up for not being able to express all that you feel capable of. But I also think sometimes you can express *more* than your imagination, once you start working on something. You know? Things can kind of come out of nowhere during a project. And so it's not like I had that inside me, it's like a cooperative enterprise between my imagination and then what happens on the page/screen/etc.
Does that make any sense?
Makes total sense, and thanks for commenting. When I manage to pass go and start creating, often I find the things that come out weren't part of the plan, but are either equal to or greater than what I wanted. I think that's part of the tension between ADHD/autistic for me - the impulse for deep planning mixed with procrastination meaning making a start is so difficult, but then finding that if I can get myself there I have way more freedom and flexibility than I think I do beforehand. Does that make sense?
I'm trying something different in this video, the others I've done and some of the ideas I have for more. I've deliberately not created a theme/plan/direction as I recognise doing so can weigh me down. System building is intuitive for me, and I'm using this as an opportunity to see whether I can create a cohesive collection of content on a less conscious level. Sorry for all the alliteration there - couldn't think of an alternative!
@@hesterlonergan That "if I can get myself there" can be so tragically elusive! I definitely relate to that surprise. Before I start something I have to get through this huge sense of resistance, which includes heavy self doubt, so the idea that new good things might occur to me when I start feels about as likely as swallowing Jupiter.
That's a super interesting approach. Do you prefer it this way, or too early to tell? For me I flip between system building and impulsivity, but rarely publish or complete anything. Mostly for fear that it might not be received spectacularly, and I'm concerned I'd then feel ashamed for even trying.
Thanks for your videos - they're very relatable!
@@Paul_ABC Very much too early to tell. Come back to the channel and we'll see :D
| i ' m trying to establish a repeatable method for shipping an idea the same day i see the idea | it has to be repeatable so i can iterate the process just like we iterate our artifacts | there will be judgements of what ends up being shipped , but ignore them | i need a fast and effective enough process to contribute what i ' ve collected and connected , otherwise i just have massive collection of potential |
Also u have a lovely cat
I have two! They’re the best ❤
@@hesterlonergan mine is the best too, he's solid white. He's a mischievous one, watch out for that guy lol
the problem with adhd people is they think they can solve everything in their own head, but our minds cant solve problems fully without extenuating things,