I want to thank you for your vlogs. It really helps that you are articulate with a strong capacity for self-awareness. That's what makes you one of the few people that I can (and want) to listen to.
Your not alone. Some of the things youve experienced and said i have verbatium! Keep being accountable and learn about your condition. Know Edge is power for us, it keeps us here years longer for our friends and loved ones. THANK YOU for sharing, i know what having people you dont know staring at you can lead to so thanks for being a tough cookie and making this video. Keep fighting back!
You are very courageous for sharing your story. I'm trying get the nerve to make my own video story. Bipolar is definitely hard to deal with. Lucky songwriting and poetry writing are helping a lot. Thanks for sharing!
hi it is nice that you shared your story. I too have been hospitalized in the past. I wasdiagnosed bipolar type I in March 2010. I really appreciate your story and all your videos. thx Josh
...and the thoughts are racing so fast it's impossible to think. I've had some interesting side effects too: auditory hallucinations (very jarring! and getting worse), flashes of color in my line of sight, clumsiness (seriously), short term memory loss, and (a good thing!) my hearing has become more acute. I find it very hard to quiet my mind, especially when trying to fall asleep. I have chaotic dreams almost every night. I either drink myself into oblivion (not good), stay up all night...
I had a terrible experience while I was in hospital, but they say that I was really unwell!!! most of that was down to two male nurse who one banged my head against my bathroom door then his mate came in on another occasion and threw me on my bed sideways and he bashed my head against the wall twice!!! no one believed me and they have said that I was delusional .....they did no group therapy in the place that I was in for three months!!! this all happened over a year ago and it still p**** me off
Omg this had me in tears because I have been through the same issues and I was diagnosed back in 2004 with bipolar disorder and I have occasional manic episodes that are so severe that my hospitalization period normally takes about thirty days for me to get stablized
My brother has just been diagnosed with bipolar and it is a very strange time for me. One thing that you really have going for you is your level of insight (this is the official term). Those with good insight are statistically better off in general.
I have it, been diagnosed recently. It is so weird just to think that I am mentally ill, it feels so unreal that there is something wrong with my brain =(
I'm 42 now, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression in 2012 but as I started looking back into my life I think I've always been bipolar. Even after my episode in 2012 & my diagnosis I was still in denial for the next 5, 6 years. Now is when I really started taking my med like I really need to. Like now even taking my meds I still feel paranoid most of the time. I can't trust anyone at all.
Holy cow Nicole I didn't have the the realisation that you were in it that deep . I know what your talking about my bipolar was that bad to but I went a bit more into my mental stage symtoms . I like all your videos plus you show me I am not alone plus being married struggling with bipolar problem's and thoughts I don't need to tell u its not easy .
Hospitalization did nothing for me.The medication dulled everything about me and made it impossible to smile --that said, I still take it. I found a lot of unprofessional people along my journey too. I hope you are doing well these days.
I have been hospitalized many times. Only good thing that came out of it was an environment where I couldn't hurt myself and medication that worked. And going is SO expensive.
Actually no, not everyone feels like that. I remember being younger and asking my husband if he ever thought about suicide, assuming everyone did at some point, since it was "normal" to me. He looked at me strangely and said "Uhhhh, no." Then I started realizing hmmm, maybe everyone doesn't go through this????
I know what you mean, I was thirty, losing my house, my truck, bills piled up, way behind in everything, lost my mind with the bad economy, no girl friend, was depressed about my love life, could not function, so what? where? sleep long naps, just didnt care, I been through it. I'm better today five years later.
...I'll be up for hours. 3am, 4am, 5am. I seem to be able to power on like that for days and days, but it catches up to me eventually - depression, exhaustion, both... My thoughts speed up too. I tend to wake up with the jitters and it goes from there. Very aware of my senses, concentration is a snap, energy is up - I pace, I bounce on the spot, I'm always ready to GO - it's actually quite enjoyable, as long as it doesn't get any more severe. If it does I typically get to the point...
I myself went undiagnosed for 30 years. I was diagnosed in 2003 summer. I felt relieved that now I have proper help it took 12 yeArs to get my medications under control. I feel good and learning to live on my own successfully for first time in my life. My recommendation stay close to doctors and take your meds as perscribed
My daughter is having the same problems u did right now. She is in the hospital has been for 15 days. She's still feeling the ways u were. She is on zyprexa Prozac and they just added tegretol. Im hoping she comes out of this
Let's see, there were a lot of different things. In one they talked about different disorders, educating us a bit. In another we did exercises on self-esteem. In another we worked on some song lyrics and talked about the deeper meaning to us personally. We also have arts and crafts time. I made a trivet out of tiles. Haha. Still have it. In some groups they just discussed topics, I remember one was about a particular kind of therapy.
Try deposited and seroquel least amount of side effects from what I seen,though one dude was in his mid twenties and on lithium,I didn't think they prescribed that anymore,he was sick from that shit
...that pretty much sums up what's it's like in my head when the mania gets out of control. You're right, it affects everyone somewhat differently. Sounds like you've got a bad case of the moodswings at the mo - just hoping your meds kick in soon and start to help =) That's what we all hope for, I guess
I find I'm in a similar boat to you. I usually experience hypomania after coming out of a depressive episode (I say usually, as lately it's been less depression and more mania. I'm having trouble with Lamictal though, so...). I can feel euphoric and full of energy; so much energy I could scream. And then, slowly but surely I come down again, and as you say, feel exhausted. I can do naught but go to bed really. That, or shuffle around like a zombie, trying to find where I put my motivation
Man, what a roller coaster ride you've been on! Talk about timing... I've been referred to the hospital, due to my bipolar, and had a call from them today to discuss my symptoms. I've always been terrified of being 'thrown in the loony bin', or of inpatient and sectioning. It's an irrational fear though, I think, especially after watching this video. I'm curious about the group sessions you had. What were they like? What did you talk about? (if you don't mind me asking) Hope you're doing well =)
my wife is waiting to be assest,think she may be bipolar 2,vids like this are very helpful,although she is not as bad as you she has been though the mill over the years,things do get better but like you ,the person has to see it with in there self that hey have a problem,then they can move forward.,,its taken over 25 years for this to happen with my wife.
When I was in the hospital alot of the patients knew just as much as the doctors becuz they had been in and out of hospitals for years,they correctly guessed I was bipolar and they even guessed the meds even close to the dosage the doctors gave me,I didn't take their diagnosis too seriously but it was good to be around people like me
Basically the hospital is kind of a last resort...they aren't meant for long term care, it is only to stabilize you when you are in a really bad place and out of control, then they turn you over to outpatient care. So,managing with outpatient care to begin with is probably the best thing. Granted if a person is suicidal or very manic just being in the hospital where they can't do any harm is what is needed.
I couldn't have described depression any better than that! That's really it in a nutshell. Though I would add, for me at least, anhedonia - everything that I usually love doing, when I'm depressed, doesn't interest me in the least. I become socially phobic - I can't meet people's eyes or engage in conversation without wanting to cry. I'm anxious - like you say, getting up and going to the fridge or the letterbox takes a strength of will that just isn't there! And apathy... ugh, apathy...
I need to condense this stuff, sorry! Yep, when the hypomania follows a depression, it's usually pretty brief, few hours at most. When the hypomania just happens, and doesn't distinctly follow a depression, it can last a few days. I'm cycling rapidly at the moment, though, so it chops and changes and makes it hard to make out any predictable pattern. Hypomania yesterday, normal mood today... and who knows by this evening! Makes me wish I could get my meds sorted. Do you take meds? Which ones? =]
Sorry to hear you're in the deep at the mo. It sucks!! Do the meds help? Hang in there. At the very least you've got people round here who know how you might be feeling.
Thanks for sharing. One of my best friend has bipolar and has been having a difficult time, but recently he was given new medication and has since gotten a little better. In your experience, what can family/friends do, if anything, to make it easier for the person who has your illness? I want to help my friend more, but I feel like I can't do much other than talk to him anytime he wants.
I know I'm sick but I'm besides myself with fear as to what the doctors would say.your video has added to my paranoia of not wanting to say anything (not your fault at all). I'm literally going out of my mind because my emotions are bouncing up and down and I feel like I'm losing my self in all of this. It doesn't help that I'm a S.H because now I think I'm a danger to myself and I physically cant talk about it. what should I do?
where it feels like every nerve in my body is screaming, it's a car crash - total white noise - in my head, and I'm very agitated. It's painful, it's bad, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I get my fair share of paranoia and obsession, but I've been lucky in not having had psychotic symptoms. I've tried Effexor, and several other SSRIs, and bupropion also, but unfortunately they either didn't work or gave me bad side effects.
Well I think during the manic periods, yes, if I am working on a lot of things, or being creative or things like that it is a positive thing. There is nothing good about depression though! Also a big thing that keeps me hanging in there is my kids. I don't want to leave them without a mother so I am forced to deal with things rather than just giving in.
what was your manic episode like if you don't mind me asking. how long did you go without sleeping? I have trouble sleeping sometimes because I have obsessive thoughts and anxiety/depression. my therapist thinks I might be bipolar but I really don't think I am. I have no manic stages, maybe just mixed states.
Bipolar 2, yeah. My medication needs a looking at. I'm currently taking 100mg of Lamictal, and I'm due to increase the dose to 200 in a few days, but I've been more manic than usual as of late, and I worry about mixed episodes, hence checking into the hospital. I does seem to be working on the depression side of things, though, so perhaps it needs be used as an adjunct to something else. Sleep? Oh it's mental. If I don't force myself into bed and work on quieting my mind...
i have the same things as alot of these commenters do..what caught my attention is how did u get on ssddi..im trying to get on it by applying for it and im not getting any luck...ive been fighting this for 15 yrs and ssi is rejecting me everytime!!
I've got an appt. with a (different) psychiatrist next week, so I'll tell him/her about the hallucinations. Could just be the meds, could be bipolar 1...I dunno...some days I'm almost obsessed with the diagnosis and what it entails, and other days I just couldn't give a shit; can't be bothered, too tired yaddayadda. We'll see how it goes. I mean mixed episodes, which I'm sure I've been having, are meant to indicate bipolar 1...yeah, we'll see. I'm just glad Lamictal is having a positive effect
i Nicole, i have bipolar 2 , i,m having a really bad time lately.i have so many ups and downs.one menit i,m crying and then i may be laughing. i keep having halosenius and keep thing there is a ghost in my house and he keeps following me every where.i also think that people are out to get me all the time and that every one hate me. i fill that i,m worthless.i also forget hoe to to a lot of things like cooking and drive a car and names of things.i don,t know what to do please help
I dont understand why Lamitical was chosen. My understanding is that this drug targets the depressive side of Bipolar. That its of no use for mania. The VA hospital sounds primitive.
Have you ever been tested for physica issues, including just even vitamins? Sounds like you have a dad that cares, so he coud help you.Have you researched your roots to find reasons? Wish you the best.
i think i'm bipolar, i really dnt know if i am but my dad is .....i'm just so depressed all the time ...i feel like a walking dead ..i need help but i dont know what to do ...*tears*
...until my body can't take it any more (not good), or lay there staring at the ceiling for hours on end (not good). I'm trying out meditation as a technique to help quiet my mind; it's hard work, but I can only but keep plugging away at it. I oversleep when I'm depressed, too. I get somnolence, I sleep in and have to nap during the day. On a hypomania scale of 1 to 3, I can function on a 1. 1 is enjoyable, high energy, thoughts come quickly and processed easily. 2 is where things start to...
Wow my dad has Bipolar and depression and he kinda spun out of control with sleeping habits he was sleeping all day which of course made it worse for the whole household at the time then he began to get a little controlling then he left 3 times everytime claiming that he was leaving but he cane back because of no where to stay the third time was his last time leaving and also the last memory I would ever have of him and mom being together and him being in my house I was had just turned 5 at the
wow gutsy to come out you are brave and you are doing fine now as much ass possible do you have ADHD as well I am bipolar and ADHD and now Fibromyalgia on top but i am doing it day by day thanks for sharing
My ex had same as what you are having in addition to a lodouleur tic which a facial nerve hitting her face, gum and teeth. It was really frustrating that i wasn't seen her for months
...break down and 3 is painful: I'm so agitated I burst out laughing or start balling my eyes out. As you can tell I get the mental fatigue when I'm manic, not the physical. Yeah the threat of full blown mania is something I try not to worry about. It may happen - there are people out there who don't experience a full blown manic episode for years. I think our friend Nicole here was 27 when she had a manic episode? Hang in there! (easier said than done I know =)
Very nice video. I like your videos, because you have a very clear way of explaining things that some of the other vloggers with bipolar do not. You are smart and don't rely on God or only natural methods. You are not completely happy about needing drugs, but you understand you may need them. I think that shows great wisdom. I hope you do not have to be hospitalized again. I would not like it myself. But you are right, this is an unpredictable disease and who knows what the future holds.
Heya. Check out the website 'psycheducation' and look for 'mixed states and rapid cycling' - there's a graph there I find useful. I get alot of point D and B, the dysphoria and agitated depression, which, when I think about it, led me to enquiring about bipolar 2. It just so happens I've been experiencing way more of point A in last year or two. And then there's plain jane, soul crushing depression.
Quite a few questions there! I'll do the best I can. Here goes =] ... Lamictal hasn't given me fatigue or stupor, no. In fact I've found the opposite to be true. I've been on it for nearly 6 weeks, and in the last week I've had a tremendous amount of energy. At time's it's been very enjoyable - I can't remember, I shit you not, feeling this good in...well, ages! It has got out of control at times, where my brain feels like it's about to explode. People talk about their brain being 'on fire'...
Just like you I have had two manic episodes. I was diagnosed when I was 26. My son was two years old and I was depressed. I went to my doctor and she prescribed PAXIL. Well, that was my first experience with mania. Apparently, people that are bipolar can have a manic episode if given certain antidepressents. I could share some stories with you. LOL Now I can laugh, but it wasn't always funny. I am medicated now and I know I need to remain medicated for the rest of my life.
Yeah that guy was awful, I remember when I was freaking out and he saw me standing there he was like "put your hands on your stomach and feel your breathing" and he came over and looked me up and down and was like "Wow, you are so thin for having twins, that is amazing" I just thought OMG get me away from this weirdo!
I don't know if the meds are causing my dreams. They come and go, and I've been on medication on and off for 8 years now, so who knows. Yours sound similar to mine. I'll be drowning or swimming through concrete or being attacked - or some other fucking awful thing...it's tiring huh, and you wake up in a panic and then you don't get a good night sleep. My senses do feel more acute, yeah, but then it can spiral out of control. Listen to the Radiohead song The National Anthem if you get a chance...
they didn't help you out at all there. What a mess the whole thing was. do you recommend going to the psych ward ever again? i' m not an expert either but i do know something isn't right with my mind. depression and something els?
Some people were nice (working there I mean) and some just seemed to not care at all. The tech that brought me up was like cold and aloof. And I thought, why are you even doing this???
Maybe marijuana could help. Also in acupuncture, mood problems have to do with proper liver function... look into natural solutions. There are so many out there but you have to be open minded.
99% of the time people with bi-polar disorder do not recognize they have this disease. I have had it for 30 years. I have just for the last 7 years taken my meds on a regular basis. I still to this day in the back of my mind think I may not have it. Because this is a symptom of the illness.I have never been able to recognize when I was manic only when I was depressed, you are the 1% who is able to recognize your mood swings your are lucky I guess. I have been in psych wards my entire life probably over 20 times had ect and the whole bit but would never want to be excited or somehow proud that I have this illness like you seem to. You need to realize their are people out there that really are ill and do not want to have this illnes like you seem to want to. You disgust me
What are u talking about? She doesn’t ‘seem to want it!!’ Poor girl is going through soo much! She didn’t have to make a video like this to maybe help people in the same situation...but she did. Maybe YOU should make one? Takes a lot for someone with a mental disorder to do something like that.
I want to thank you for your vlogs. It really helps that you are articulate with a strong capacity for self-awareness. That's what makes you one of the few people that I can (and want) to listen to.
Your not alone. Some of the things youve experienced and said i have verbatium! Keep being accountable and learn about your condition. Know
Edge is power for us, it keeps us here years longer for our friends and loved ones. THANK YOU for sharing, i know what having people you dont know staring at you can lead to so thanks for being a tough cookie and making this video. Keep fighting back!
You are very courageous for sharing your story. I'm trying get the nerve to make my own video story. Bipolar is definitely hard to deal with. Lucky songwriting and poetry writing are helping a lot. Thanks for sharing!
I wish I knew you! You offer so much insight. You truly let me know that there is hope! God bless you!!!!
Good video, I've dealt with this for 20 years, so definitely feel your struggle. Love all your videos.
Thanks for sharing your story! It lets all of us know that WE are NOT alone.
You are so brave. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
hi it is nice that you shared your story. I too have been hospitalized in the past. I wasdiagnosed bipolar type I in March 2010. I really appreciate your story and all your videos. thx Josh
...and the thoughts are racing so fast it's impossible to think. I've had some interesting side effects too: auditory hallucinations (very jarring! and getting worse), flashes of color in my line of sight, clumsiness (seriously), short term memory loss, and (a good thing!) my hearing has become more acute.
I find it very hard to quiet my mind, especially when trying to fall asleep. I have chaotic dreams almost every night. I either drink myself into oblivion (not good), stay up all night...
I had a terrible experience while I was in hospital, but they say that I was really unwell!!! most of that was down to two male nurse who one banged my head against my bathroom door then his mate came in on another occasion and threw me on my bed sideways and he bashed my head against the wall twice!!! no one believed me and they have said that I was delusional .....they did no group therapy in the place that I was in for three months!!! this all happened over a year ago and it still p**** me off
thank you for this very raw and honest story. Reminds me of my last stay in the hospital. Not my finest hour either.
I’ve been to the VA PSYCH ward 8 times. Never again. Psychosis inpatient is worse than jail!
Aw thank you. Your comments are always so kind!
Omg this had me in tears because I have been through the same issues and I was diagnosed back in 2004 with bipolar disorder and I have occasional manic episodes that are so severe that my hospitalization period normally takes about thirty days for me to get stablized
My brother has just been diagnosed with bipolar and it is a very strange time for me. One thing that you really have going for you is your level of insight (this is the official term). Those with good insight are statistically better off in general.
I have it, been diagnosed recently. It is so weird just to think that I am mentally ill, it feels so unreal that there is something wrong with my brain =(
I'm 42 now, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression in 2012 but as I started looking back into my life I think I've always been bipolar. Even after my episode in 2012 & my diagnosis I was still in denial for the next 5, 6 years. Now is when I really started taking my med like I really need to. Like now even taking my meds I still feel paranoid most of the time. I can't trust anyone at all.
Nicole I went off meds for two years, but had a manic episode and had to go back on. be careful.
Holy cow Nicole I didn't have the the realisation that you were in it that deep . I know what your talking about my bipolar was that bad to but I went a bit more into my mental stage symtoms . I like all your videos plus you show me I am not alone plus being married struggling with bipolar problem's and thoughts I don't need to tell u its not easy .
wow, it kinda sad to hear that , but it's ok since you are alright now,
hope u get better,
and thanks for sharing this little story
Definitely talk to your therapist or psychiatrist, they would be the ones who could help you the most. I hope things get better soon!
Hospitalization did nothing for me.The medication dulled everything about me and made it impossible to smile --that said, I still take it. I found a lot of unprofessional people along my journey too. I hope you are doing well these days.
I feel so bad for you. Stay strong!
I have been hospitalized many times. Only good thing that came out of it was an environment where I couldn't hurt myself and medication that worked. And going is SO expensive.
Actually no, not everyone feels like that. I remember being younger and asking my husband if he ever thought about suicide, assuming everyone did at some point, since it was "normal" to me. He looked at me strangely and said "Uhhhh, no." Then I started realizing hmmm, maybe everyone doesn't go through this????
I know what you mean, I was thirty, losing my house, my truck, bills piled up, way behind in everything, lost my mind with the bad economy, no girl friend, was depressed about my love life, could not function, so what? where? sleep long naps, just didnt care, I been through it. I'm better today five years later.
...I'll be up for hours. 3am, 4am, 5am. I seem to be able to power on like that for days and days, but it catches up to me eventually - depression, exhaustion, both...
My thoughts speed up too. I tend to wake up with the jitters and it goes from there. Very aware of my senses, concentration is a snap, energy is up - I pace, I bounce on the spot, I'm always ready to GO - it's actually quite enjoyable, as long as it doesn't get any more severe. If it does I typically get to the point...
I myself went undiagnosed for 30 years. I was diagnosed in 2003 summer. I felt relieved that now I have proper help it took 12 yeArs to get my medications under control. I feel good and learning to live on my own successfully for first time in my life. My recommendation stay close to doctors and take your meds as perscribed
My daughter is having the same problems u did right now. She is in the hospital has been for 15 days. She's still feeling the ways u were. She is on zyprexa Prozac and they just added tegretol. Im hoping she comes out of this
Let's see, there were a lot of different things. In one they talked about different disorders, educating us a bit. In another we did exercises on self-esteem. In another we worked on some song lyrics and talked about the deeper meaning to us personally. We also have arts and crafts time. I made a trivet out of tiles. Haha. Still have it. In some groups they just discussed topics, I remember one was about a particular kind of therapy.
I had a horrible allergic and mental reaction to Lamictal. It made all of my symptoms worse and i felt like i was losing my mind.
Try deposited and seroquel least amount of side effects from what I seen,though one dude was in his mid twenties and on lithium,I didn't think they prescribed that anymore,he was sick from that shit
I meant depakote not 'deposited' stupid auto correct lol
...that pretty much sums up what's it's like in my head when the mania gets out of control.
You're right, it affects everyone somewhat differently. Sounds like you've got a bad case of the moodswings at the mo - just hoping your meds kick in soon and start to help =)
That's what we all hope for, I guess
I find I'm in a similar boat to you. I usually experience hypomania after coming out of a depressive episode (I say usually, as lately it's been less depression and more mania. I'm having trouble with Lamictal though, so...).
I can feel euphoric and full of energy; so much energy I could scream. And then, slowly but surely I come down again, and as you say, feel exhausted. I can do naught but go to bed really. That, or shuffle around like a zombie, trying to find where I put my motivation
Man, what a roller coaster ride you've been on!
Talk about timing... I've been referred to the hospital, due to my bipolar, and had a call from them today to discuss my symptoms. I've always been terrified of being 'thrown in the loony bin', or of inpatient and sectioning. It's an irrational fear though, I think, especially after watching this video.
I'm curious about the group sessions you had. What were they like? What did you talk about? (if you don't mind me asking)
Hope you're doing well =)
my wife is waiting to be assest,think she may be bipolar 2,vids like this are very helpful,although she is not as bad as you she has been though the mill over the years,things do get better but like you ,the person has to see it with in there self that hey have a problem,then they can move forward.,,its taken over 25 years for this to happen with my wife.
When I was in the hospital alot of the patients knew just as much as the doctors becuz they had been in and out of hospitals for years,they correctly guessed I was bipolar and they even guessed the meds even close to the dosage the doctors gave me,I didn't take their diagnosis too seriously but it was good to be around people like me
Yes, I have learned that even if I live in a smaller town, I am not alone because I have all the great people I have met here on TH-cam :)
Basically the hospital is kind of a last resort...they aren't meant for long term care, it is only to stabilize you when you are in a really bad place and out of control, then they turn you over to outpatient care. So,managing with outpatient care to begin with is probably the best thing. Granted if a person is suicidal or very manic just being in the hospital where they can't do any harm is what is needed.
I couldn't have described depression any better than that! That's really it in a nutshell.
Though I would add, for me at least, anhedonia - everything that I usually love doing, when I'm depressed, doesn't interest me in the least.
I become socially phobic - I can't meet people's eyes or engage in conversation without wanting to cry. I'm anxious - like you say, getting up and going to the fridge or the letterbox takes a strength of will that just isn't there!
And apathy... ugh, apathy...
I need to condense this stuff, sorry!
Yep, when the hypomania follows a depression, it's usually pretty brief, few hours at most.
When the hypomania just happens, and doesn't distinctly follow a depression, it can last a few days.
I'm cycling rapidly at the moment, though, so it chops and changes and makes it hard to make out any predictable pattern. Hypomania yesterday, normal mood today... and who knows by this evening! Makes me wish I could get my meds sorted. Do you take meds? Which ones?
=]
Sorry to hear you're in the deep at the mo. It sucks!!
Do the meds help?
Hang in there. At the very least you've got people round here who know how you might be feeling.
Thanks for sharing. One of my best friend has bipolar and has been having a difficult time, but recently he was given new medication and has since gotten a little better. In your experience, what can family/friends do, if anything, to make it easier for the person who has your illness? I want to help my friend more, but I feel like I can't do much other than talk to him anytime he wants.
Please dont stop making videos ppl like my self need your hope....
I know I'm sick but I'm besides myself with fear as to what the doctors would say.your video has added to my paranoia of not wanting to say anything (not your fault at all). I'm literally going out of my mind because my emotions are bouncing up and down and I feel like I'm losing my self in all of this. It doesn't help that I'm a S.H because now I think I'm a danger to myself and I physically cant talk about it. what should I do?
where it feels like every nerve in my body is screaming, it's a car crash - total white noise - in my head, and I'm very agitated. It's painful, it's bad, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I get my fair share of paranoia and obsession, but I've been lucky in not having had psychotic symptoms.
I've tried Effexor, and several other SSRIs, and bupropion also, but unfortunately they either didn't work or gave me bad side effects.
All the best pretty warrior GB
Well I think during the manic periods, yes, if I am working on a lot of things, or being creative or things like that it is a positive thing. There is nothing good about depression though! Also a big thing that keeps me hanging in there is my kids. I don't want to leave them without a mother so I am forced to deal with things rather than just giving in.
what was your manic episode like if you don't mind me asking. how long did you go without sleeping? I have trouble sleeping sometimes because I have obsessive thoughts and anxiety/depression. my therapist thinks I might be bipolar but I really don't think I am. I have no manic stages, maybe just mixed states.
Bipolar 2, yeah.
My medication needs a looking at. I'm currently taking 100mg of Lamictal, and I'm due to increase the dose to 200 in a few days, but I've been more manic than usual as of late, and I worry about mixed episodes, hence checking into the hospital. I does seem to be working on the depression side of things, though, so perhaps it needs be used as an adjunct to something else.
Sleep? Oh it's mental. If I don't force myself into bed and work on quieting my mind...
I was 27.
i have the same things as alot of these commenters do..what caught my attention is how did u get on ssddi..im trying to get on it by applying for it and im not getting any luck...ive been fighting this for 15 yrs and ssi is rejecting me everytime!!
I've got an appt. with a (different) psychiatrist next week, so I'll tell him/her about the hallucinations. Could just be the meds, could be bipolar 1...I dunno...some days I'm almost obsessed with the diagnosis and what it entails, and other days I just couldn't give a shit; can't be bothered, too tired yaddayadda. We'll see how it goes.
I mean mixed episodes, which I'm sure I've been having, are meant to indicate bipolar 1...yeah, we'll see. I'm just glad Lamictal is having a positive effect
I got diagnosed with Bipolar but my mania is more like psychosis
Thank you for sharing your story :D
i Nicole, i have bipolar 2 , i,m having a really bad time lately.i have so many ups and downs.one menit i,m crying and then i may be laughing. i keep having halosenius and keep thing there is a ghost in my house and he keeps following me every where.i also think that people are out to get me all the time and that every one hate me. i fill that i,m worthless.i also forget hoe to to a lot of things like cooking and drive a car and names of things.i don,t know what to do please help
I dont understand why Lamitical was chosen. My understanding is that this drug targets the depressive side of Bipolar. That its of no use for mania. The VA hospital sounds primitive.
thank you for sharing.
thank you for sharing your experiences
Have you ever been tested for physica issues, including just even vitamins? Sounds like you have a dad that cares, so he coud help you.Have you researched your roots to find reasons? Wish you the best.
I am Bipolar I Mixed
I can really relate to what you are saying
i think i'm bipolar, i really dnt know if i am but my dad is .....i'm just so depressed all the time ...i feel like a walking dead ..i need help but i dont know what to do ...*tears*
...until my body can't take it any more (not good), or lay there staring at the ceiling for hours on end (not good). I'm trying out meditation as a technique to help quiet my mind; it's hard work, but I can only but keep plugging away at it.
I oversleep when I'm depressed, too. I get somnolence, I sleep in and have to nap during the day.
On a hypomania scale of 1 to 3, I can function on a 1. 1 is enjoyable, high energy, thoughts come quickly and processed easily. 2 is where things start to...
Wow my dad has Bipolar and depression and he kinda spun out of control with sleeping habits he was sleeping all day which of course made it worse for the whole household at the time then he began to get a little controlling then he left 3 times everytime claiming that he was leaving but he cane back because of no where to stay the third time was his last time leaving and also the last memory I would ever have of him and mom being together and him being in my house I was had just turned 5 at the
wow gutsy to come out you are brave and you are doing fine now as much ass possible do you have ADHD as well I am bipolar and ADHD and now Fibromyalgia on top but i am doing it day by day thanks for sharing
My ex had same as what you are having in addition to a lodouleur tic which a facial nerve hitting her face, gum and teeth. It was really frustrating that i wasn't seen her for months
...break down and 3 is painful: I'm so agitated I burst out laughing or start balling my eyes out.
As you can tell I get the mental fatigue when I'm manic, not the physical.
Yeah the threat of full blown mania is something I try not to worry about. It may happen - there are people out there who don't experience a full blown manic episode for years. I think our friend Nicole here was 27 when she had a manic episode?
Hang in there! (easier said than done I know =)
Very nice video. I like your videos, because you have a very clear way of explaining things that some of the other vloggers with bipolar do not. You are smart and don't rely on God or only natural methods. You are not completely happy about needing drugs, but you understand you may need them. I think that shows great wisdom. I hope you do not have to be hospitalized again. I would not like it myself. But you are right, this is an unpredictable disease and who knows what the future holds.
Heya. Check out the website 'psycheducation' and look for 'mixed states and rapid cycling' - there's a graph there I find useful.
I get alot of point D and B, the dysphoria and agitated depression, which, when I think about it, led me to enquiring about bipolar 2. It just so happens I've been experiencing way more of point A in last year or two.
And then there's plain jane, soul crushing depression.
Lamectle was my first meds can't take because over 75 yrs
Quite a few questions there! I'll do the best I can. Here goes =] ...
Lamictal hasn't given me fatigue or stupor, no. In fact I've found the opposite to be true.
I've been on it for nearly 6 weeks, and in the last week I've had a tremendous amount of energy. At time's it's been very enjoyable - I can't remember, I shit you not, feeling this good in...well, ages! It has got out of control at times, where my brain feels like it's about to explode. People talk about their brain being 'on fire'...
Tell me about it, he just gave me the creeps, the way he looked at me too.
that is the cutest room everrr!
Just like you I have had two manic episodes. I was diagnosed when I was 26. My son was two years old and I was depressed. I went to my doctor and she prescribed PAXIL. Well, that was my first experience with mania. Apparently, people that are bipolar can have a manic episode if given certain antidepressents. I could share some stories with you. LOL Now I can laugh, but it wasn't always funny. I am medicated now and I know I need to remain medicated for the rest of my life.
Knowledge is key! Say NO to Benzodiazepines!!!
Yeah that guy was awful, I remember when I was freaking out and he saw me standing there he was like "put your hands on your stomach and feel your breathing" and he came over and looked me up and down and was like "Wow, you are so thin for having twins, that is amazing" I just thought OMG get me away from this weirdo!
I'm bipolar. Starting 2 years ago I discovered Adderall. I take it when I'm losing my manic phase so I'm always up. Life is good.
I don't know if the meds are causing my dreams. They come and go, and I've been on medication on and off for 8 years now, so who knows.
Yours sound similar to mine. I'll be drowning or swimming through concrete or being attacked - or some other fucking awful thing...it's tiring huh, and you wake up in a panic and then you don't get a good night sleep.
My senses do feel more acute, yeah, but then it can spiral out of control. Listen to the Radiohead song The National Anthem if you get a chance...
they didn't help you out at all there. What a mess the whole thing was. do you recommend going to the psych ward ever again? i' m not an expert either but i do know something isn't right with my mind. depression and something els?
Some people were nice (working there I mean) and some just seemed to not care at all. The tech that brought me up was like cold and aloof. And I thought, why are you even doing this???
You're not bipolar, you're Bi-Winning!
Maybe marijuana could help. Also in acupuncture, mood problems have to do with proper liver function... look into natural solutions. There are so many out there but you have to be open minded.
8:04 God Bless you! lol
Look at the camra don't feel bad
hello
Uh.. no, not really... please go see another doctor and take care of yourself.
99% of the time people with bi-polar disorder do not recognize they have this disease. I have had it for 30 years. I have just for the last 7 years taken my meds on a regular basis. I still to this day in the back of my mind think I may not have it. Because this is a symptom of the illness.I have never been able to recognize when I was manic only when I was depressed, you are the 1% who is able to recognize your mood swings your are lucky I guess. I have been in psych wards my entire life probably over 20 times had ect and the whole bit but would never want to be excited or somehow proud that I have this illness like you seem to. You need to realize their are people out there that really are ill and do not want to have this illnes like you seem to want to. You disgust me
Cindy Grimes huh..
What are u talking about? She doesn’t ‘seem to want it!!’ Poor girl is going through soo much! She didn’t have to make a video like this to maybe help people in the same situation...but she did. Maybe YOU should make one? Takes a lot for someone with a mental disorder to do something like that.