I am in agreement with many of your other commentors. Your work(s) are entertaining and enjoyable. It may be me, but I do tend to get lost with the characters and their interactions as well as the settings/scenarios. If I were asked how to make your work(s) more enjoyable and entertaining, starting off with a limited cast and create their stories. Adding additional cast members, for example, a recurring, but non-pivotal subordinate marine, by name and rank, sparingly. Once you get the core characters situated, introduce future core characters by commentary between current core characters. For example, having Captain Hunter and the Signals officer speaking back and forth and the Signals officer receive communications from Hunter's Sister's Ship. Have the main characters introduce the back-story of future core characters. . . Now, another way to make your works more enjoyable, flesh out the scenarios, especially with the current locations. Do a quick recap of where the characters are and why they are there. When I was much younger, I spent many a 3rd shifts at a gas station writing my story. I fleshed out my world and each of the main characters had lengthy back-stories (usually of trauma and bad-choices). The more they tried to succeed, the more they get beaten-down. Survival became insufferable, until the day it all changed. My favorite professor got to read the first 800 pages and he asked, "do I have anymore?" "Of course," as I had the whole story, from beginning to end. "The backdrop is so believable, but your characters, they're perfectly written and stapled into the story. . . I want to know what happens to them!" Before that though, I feel you have underlying themes you are carrying throughout. What are they? 1) History repeats itself, 2) Human nature is consistent, 3) We have to choose to do Good, 4) Individually, we don't know our capabilities until we are challenged, and 5) Time Rules Events. Before the next semester started, he was fired (no Tenure) and moved away. I did find him again during the c-hiatus. I had ample time to pull out that old trustworthy laptop, copy off the entirety (via floppy), and send him the rest. I cannot say he loved it. What he did say is "in 1996, I would have said what you wrote was Science Fiction. But knowing the world the way it is now, it's Science Fact. The way your carried your characters, and their actions and thoughts, completely consistent with what he has experienced." . . .and, "I fear for my grandchildren." @Shane Lochlann Black you are incredibly talented . . . I only wish to make your works as memorable for readers/listeners as Harry Turtledove's World War Series was for me. May Peace and Blessings find you!
Thanks very much. I appreciate the kind words and the critique! It really is valuable feedback. I have a habit of painting on a big canvas, which in turn means I need a lot of words to explain all the square footage, as it were. I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
Thanks!
Excellent very entertaining
Great videos thank u
Cool
I am in agreement with many of your other commentors. Your work(s) are entertaining and enjoyable. It may be me, but I do tend to get lost with the characters and their interactions as well as the settings/scenarios.
If I were asked how to make your work(s) more enjoyable and entertaining, starting off with a limited cast and create their stories. Adding additional cast members, for example, a recurring, but non-pivotal subordinate marine, by name and rank, sparingly. Once you get the core characters situated, introduce future core characters by commentary between current core characters. For example, having Captain Hunter and the Signals officer speaking back and forth and the Signals officer receive communications from Hunter's Sister's Ship. Have the main characters introduce the back-story of future core characters. . .
Now, another way to make your works more enjoyable, flesh out the scenarios, especially with the current locations. Do a quick recap of where the characters are and why they are there.
When I was much younger, I spent many a 3rd shifts at a gas station writing my story. I fleshed out my world and each of the main characters had lengthy back-stories (usually of trauma and bad-choices). The more they tried to succeed, the more they get beaten-down. Survival became insufferable, until the day it all changed. My favorite professor got to read the first 800 pages and he asked, "do I have anymore?" "Of course," as I had the whole story, from beginning to end. "The backdrop is so believable, but your characters, they're perfectly written and stapled into the story. . . I want to know what happens to them!" Before that though, I feel you have underlying themes you are carrying throughout. What are they?
1) History repeats itself,
2) Human nature is consistent,
3) We have to choose to do Good,
4) Individually, we don't know our capabilities until we are challenged, and
5) Time Rules Events.
Before the next semester started, he was fired (no Tenure) and moved away. I did find him again during the c-hiatus. I had ample time to pull out that old trustworthy laptop, copy off the entirety (via floppy), and send him the rest. I cannot say he loved it. What he did say is "in 1996, I would have said what you wrote was Science Fiction. But knowing the world the way it is now, it's Science Fact. The way your carried your characters, and their actions and thoughts, completely consistent with what he has experienced." . . .and, "I fear for my grandchildren."
@Shane Lochlann Black you are incredibly talented . . . I only wish to make your works as memorable for readers/listeners as Harry Turtledove's World War Series was for me.
May Peace and Blessings find you!
Thanks very much. I appreciate the kind words and the critique! It really is valuable feedback. I have a habit of painting on a big canvas, which in turn means I need a lot of words to explain all the square footage, as it were. I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
I can't get past the intro, of any of your videos