Dr. David Clarke on The Top Ten Lame Excuses to End a Marriage
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- In this video, I list the top ten lame excuses to end a marriage that I've heard over the thirty plus years in my therapy office, and give my responses.
You can also help fight divorce and share these responses with someone you may know who wants out of their marriage for bogus reasons.
For more information you can checkout my website at: davideclarkephd...
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My mom needed to leave my dad. He abused her for 4 decades and caused her death. I would've had a better childhood without that man in my life.
He says emotional or physical abuse God wants you to leave. Those with adultery are reasons God gives His approval to divorce. I'm sorry you lost your mom and you had to go through that as a child.
@@kareenodum1734 True I had to file for divorce because my husband was abusive both physically and emotionally. I was willing to make my marriage work but i couldn't continue because I was miserable and always falling sick. It's not God's will for us to suffer in our marriages.
I am glad he caveated that there are Biblical grounds for divorce. Serial adultery, abuse and abandonment.
Well my husband became offended when confronted and walked away after over 30 years of marriage. Like someone said, so much free will involved. Good points though.
I was desperate…I had faith, I fought, fasted, prayed. He had no excuse. 23 yrs together- Sometimes it doesn’t work…so much free will involved. Literally, it was the best thing that could have happened. I never believed in divorce and now I know in some cases it’s unavoidable. Great message, tho, really. Blessings
The best vows I ever heard recently was "unless one of us feel trapped or obliged" not for everyone I get that but the Bible says not to swear at all!!
Same…but we were married 40 years. I also fought fasted prayed to no avail. ❤
@@arizwldcatoh wow, that must of been so painful for you. I hope you are doing well.
@@arizwldcat I am so sorry😞….divorce is incredibly heart breaking and the ripple effects and the aftermath, tragic. I pray you are doing well, that Jesus is so tangible to you that you never feel lonely ♥️🙏🏼
@@monkadayle3819 Thank you so much for your kind words. They brought tears to my eyes! Truly the Lord is so good and He's been taking good care of me.
I wish someone would do this for my family, that can actually get through to my husband. He left me with a newborn that barely lived after 2 months in the hospital for another woman. She knows we just started our family, she’s a picu nurse of all things. He says he’s not attracted to me anymore and feels we rushed into marriage (6 years ago). He was the one who asked to start a family and went so far as tracking ovulating days.
He is a dirtball and she is a skank. Both in serious sin. She can have him. I recommend my book, My Spouse Wants Out, for you. It will empower you and give you a chance to shake him to his roots. You can talk to me about this if you want. Check out my phone advice service on my website. God will get you through.
I’m going through something very similar. Sending you a virtual hug 🫂
It used to be clear to me that there is nothing lower than a guy who leaves his Wife with young children, but this guy has set a new standard for lowness!
My heart breaks for you.
God specializes in healing broken hearts.
I pray for EVERYONE hurt by infidelity; but especially the Mothers of young children.
The pain spreads FAR & WIDE.
But it is not too big for God to heal.
What your husband has done is one of the WORST sins in the world.
His pure selfishness has allowed him to abandon his Wife and Children whom he vowed to protect.
He left when they were MOST vulnerable!!
100% Deplorable, disgusting and reprehensible.
God sees EVERYTHING and they both will be accountable for their sins one day.
They WON’T get away with it.
I would pray without quitting and put ALL of my pains and concerns at the foot of the cross.
God said ‘Cast your cares.’
He loves you and He will protect and provide for you and your children.
Do not turn away from Him in times of trouble -
He was my lifesaver during my darkest nights which is why I stand for Him.
He wants to help us but the Bible says ASK.
What he has done is despicable!!!
God bless you and your family. 💕
1 Peter 5:7
… casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].
Men and women of the church need to get some guts and go to people in trouble and confront and encourage! Men especially, even pastors and elders, don’t go to fallen brothers often enough. Iron sharpens iron and men need to call each other out and try to save families! Thank the Lord for Dr. Clarke’s boldness! 🙏
FOR MARRIED PEOPLE: The feeling that you get in an affair can NEVER be love. Love comes from God, the same God who designed marriage and commanded us to honor it. I truly believe that God will not contradict Himself and put love in your heart for someone else other than your spouse. The feeling you have for the other person can be LUST, INFATUATION, ADMIRATION, OBSESSION or any other feeling that satan will USE to destroy your marriage (and push you to commit a SIN by breaking the VOW that you made before God). The devil will make you believe that what you feel for this other person is love when in fact it really ISN'T. That's what satan does. That's the reason he's called a LIAR and a DESTROYER.
All except when people marry for the wrong reasons....I stand in Agreement with you.
Please don't leave us RELATIONSHIP/SINGLE people out...infidelity is extremely hurtful and challenging to heal from no matter your status. I know that marriage is on a different level of commitment...just saying.
My heart goes out to ANYONE that has ever suffered such a betrayal.
👏👏👏
Well said ,good explanation.
Skank! 22:28 😂😂😂 Wait for it, skankapalooza! 22:53 Lol. Hilarious but so true. Truth that’s needed. Lord forgive us and make us whole again.
Best watch if my whole day! Fantastic counsel and speaker! 😂
8:45 he starts the list
Great sermon 👍
This was awesome. God bless you Dr. Clark! I agree!
Wow this is great!! You are amazing Dr. Clark🙏
Agreed on all, BUT a divorce is better than abuse and/or adultery. These are deal breakers.
Definitely deal breakers because abuse is not our portion. I was physically and emotionally abused by my husband. Marriage lasted 5 months I was willing to continue saying God does not love divorce but I could have died. Filed for divorce in January this year I just had to leave the guy.
I hurt her by being critical. She left me and wants a divorce. How do I get her to see that I’m repentant for my serious sin and want to reconcile? She is still angry.
What do you say to a couple that says, we have tried everything to help, but our 'differences" have taken a toll on our marriage and we just realize that are personalities are just too different and we have different fundamental views..??? I was hoping you would address this. I know a couple in this situation and they have 2 tiny kids.. They are not yet believers.. Please pray for A and J.
My husband just told me 3 weeks ago he wants to separate. It looks like he’s going through a mid life crisis. He’s also treating me very cold and distant like I’m his enemy. I don’t know where to start. I’ve been praying and praying.
Dr. Clark, my name is Doug Zarn, I spoke with you a year ago. My counselor and I would like to know, what you have to say when one spouse does not want to reconcile or even talk about it. Don't get me wrong. I whole heartily agree with everything you say and your approach to it. What is left for the spouse that is hanging?
I wrote a book about this scenario: My Spouse Wants Out.
You need to go into bigtime tough love mode. After getting your finances in order, you turn the tables on the sinning spouse.
The exception is if you have sinned terribly and driven your spouse away. In this scenario, use my book: I Destroyed My Marriage.
Loooovvvvveeeeee! This is soooo true! Truth with some humor! XD Thank you, Jesus! ♥️
Great advice and counsel for couples who are followers of Christ and spirit filled who live by God's Word and believe God's Word.
Loved your video! Very right on!
I'm curious, what knowledge do you
have of emotional/ narcissistic abuse?
You mentioned that there is a cause for biblical divorce. My H has not repented of his pornograhy habit.
Narcissists are never wrong.
He has been emotionally abusive to me and the children.
We have been separated for close to a year.
I have your book. I don't want a divorce. Very helpful in bringing about our separation.
I'm trying to hang in there!
He blame shifts, does not Express empathy, gas lights.
Again, typical narcissism.
I don't feel safe with him
Thanks for your comment. Helping people get away from abusive spouses is one of my specialties. Go to my website www.davideclarkephd.com and get my book, Enough is Enough, How to Leave an Abusive Relationship. You may also find a phone advice session helpful.
My husband is giving me 3 of those 10 excuses. He has a life coach who told him I would never change and is best for him to divorce me. Yes things have been hard. But just a month ago we were all together. I need help. God is giving me a lot of light on my wrong doings with his Word he has shown me the things he expects from me as a wife. But my husband (we do not live together) doesn’t want to hear.
Go see a therapist too…maybe they will help you focus on how to focus on you, whatever happens shall
This easy simple life stuff what about narcissistic man abusing you and your kids for 13 yrs alcoholic, drug addict, lier, manipulater and the list go o . Should I stay and live the rest of my life like this
You don't have to take the abuse anymore. Get my book Enough is Enough - How to leave an abusive relationship. This book is a specific, detailed, how to leave your abuser manual. www.davideclarkephd.com/product-page/enough-is-enough-1
Absolutely not!! Not what God intended marriage to be
I wish I would have seen this video 7 years ago. Might have saved my marriage. My Husband filled on me. Lies after lies. He had a girlfriend come to find out. That grass isn’t so green now
I hope the grass is dry forever for him 🤣
Keep the scripture passages in context. Our relationship in Christ is above marriage and is first and foremost the most important. God hates the mistreatment of women more!!!
How can you save a marriage when a adulterous husband won’t talk and has orally blocked any contact ? ..
Most women are killed by their partners. This is not a religious issue this is a social issue. I don’t know why this popped up as a suggestion. It is none of your business what happens behind closed doors. Meddling people amuse me. My parents were better people apart than together. As a child I was glad I didn’t have to hear fighting all the time. My life got better after their divorce. I didn’t have to listen to fighting all the time. My parents relationship was very dysfunctional. My stepmom was the best thing that happened to my Dad. I still have my mom and she moved in with me this year. I took care of my step mom when she got cancer and passed. I took care of my Dad until he passed as well. It is better to end a toxic relationship than to live in one. It does matter if it is the parent or child.
I was the biggest Atheist. I found faith at 49 .
My boyfriend has proposed his behaviour and has done a180 compared to his past . I love and accept his proposal, but i need to convince him that it has to lead to marriage .That sounds ridiculous ,but i was engaged for 25year's ,and i also need to imply that is aa legal covenant.
This sounds ridiculous but i can't paint an accurate picture (history)in comments.
Some of the commercials playing in between the videos are inappropriate Any way to stop it from occurring
1) 8:47 I don’t love you anymore
2) 9:35 I never loved you
3) 11:33 I felt pressured to marry you
4) 12:54 I need to find myself
5) 13:56 It’s not you, it’s me
6) 14:41 I’m having a midlife crisis
7] 16:00 God wants me to be happy
8) 16:50 The kids will be better off if we get out of this bad marriage
9) 18:52 My needs are not being met
10) I’m having an affair
My now ex dropped a big bombshell on me 1.5 years ago by using #1, , 2, 5, 7, and 9…but it was really 10. God is so good, and He’s brought me through. My adult kids and I fought this but in the end, his sin was too attractive to him.
Addend..he never blamed himself, tho..he twisted #5 to say it’s not me, it’s you!,
OMG. Yes IT DOES Hurt THE KIDS. My 7yo daughter pleaded for us to divorce. Period. She couldn’t take the pain of fighting bickering yelling between her dad and I etc. What 7 yo do u know says that. Or even knows aBout divorce. We vowed to never say that word divorce, n we hadn’t. It’s trauma for the kids. My kids r proof of this ... they’ve watched fighting arguing etc only for them to have anger issues . Ugh plzzzzz clarify and dont say it’s not so all that I’m saying.
Dr Clarke just came out a few days ago on his website changing his position on divorce. He now says emotional abuse is a reason for divorce. You may find Gretchen Baskerville’s book The Life Saving Divorce. She talks about when divorce is good for the kids.
@@jennriedy6626 thank you soo very much for posting this. I’m searching forntheee years since IV been separated. I Absolutely Positively want to do Gods will pd! I’m holding in till I KNOW THAT I KNOW WHAT GOD SAYS AND WANTS TO DO. I just need encouragement Gods insight. His Wisdom. Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️
Soy deEcuador se podría interpretar este video por favor que Dios le bendiga pastor Fredy
Chances are, if they "never loved you" or "felt pressured to marry" they may have only got married to have sex. Let's guard against that. Or, if already married, well, let's see what he says, but if both are willing to work on it, with God's help, they can
I think people who want out of a covenant marriage for frivolous reasons are unbelieving. If you believed in the permanency of marriage and the oneness of Abba you couldn't do it. Divorce is ripping bone from flesh. Let the unbelieving spouse go. True believers in Christ stay, way too long in most cases, because they understand the covenant and know the importance of family. Marriage is the bedrock of our faith, without strong families we have no future, ots hard to believe we are not in end times
Agreed, but many stay when the abusive spouse is tearing down everyone in the family. I weep at how my beautiful mother has endured decades of that behavior
Do you have any advice for a Christian parent who's child has had an affair and has filed for a divorce. How is the family to respond to their child who is in deep sin?
get my book, My Spouse Wants Out. it lays out a plan of action. team up with your sinning child's spouse and work together to do
tough love on your son. for more input, you can use my phone advice service.
I told my ex wife I didn't feel loved and she ghosted me
Perfecto!
Great responses to stupid excuses! However, Dr. Love, you make a comment that if you have had a divorce God can forgive that - which is true! But you go on to say that "God wants to be happy in the marriage that you are in right now. You didn't qualify it by saying "...your covenant (first) marriage." Your comment can be construed to mean God is OK with divorce and remarriage. That is NEVER the case; that is NOT true! How can He be OK with something that He hates!?(as you read in Mal 2:16)
God loves us more than He hates divorce.
Well the people hate truth so preachers now have to bend the hard truth to touch hardened hearts - truth is God hates divorce but too many people are divorced these days it will be hard not to massage them in their ways to get a point across. Also God’s love supercedes sin
Read Mal 2:12-16, context matters
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