Also a not-diagnosed-but-pretty-sure-I'm-autistic person here, I've not had as rough of a go in jobs but I found a lot of the struggle you spoke about here relatable. Maybe it's the overlap with anxiety, but I've refused or hesitated to apply for a lot of "basic" jobs because I'm pretty certain I'd hate the job or not be cut out for it. The one I was most especially stressed out by was when I worked at a call center. I can manage basic customer service niceness to a point but the constant monitoring to do every single part of every call/chat correctly really sucked. I think that's a brief way to explain my issue: I can manage basic things but it can easily get to a point where the cost of doing that is just really exhausting and stressful. And unless I absolutely MUST do something, my brain will start to shut down and prevent me from dealing with the problem at hand if it gets to be overwhelming. That's hard to relate to other people without sounding like you're just being a baby about it: "if I really don't want to do the thing, I just can't do it." Like, I know that sounds like bullshit but it isn't, if that makes sense. Autism makes you feel like you're the weird one, but sometimes I think everyone else is weirder because they're just not bothered by so many things that they maybe should be. I consider myself lucky to have a couple roommates who help cover much of the rent and bills so I can work less (and my current job as a substitute teacher is fine for me 99% of the time) and I can help keep the house clean in the meantime. I honestly don't know if I could manage adult life by myself and having to be miserable at a full time job for... ever. It sucks how much success in this world is just based on luck, and how "success" in the system is basically just "make a lot of money." I don't need everything to be a breeze, but it would be nice if things were less hard for no good reason. Hang in there.
The only reason I've ever been let go from jobs is social difficulties. Usually because I've been bullied by coworkers, haven't said anything about it to management because this happens at almost every job, and then the aggressors report to mangement that I'm unsociable.
VAN!!! I love my van. So so much. My only regret is not getting my van 20 years ago. You are very good at this youtube stuff, keep having fun. Life is hard. You got this!
Hi, autistic guy here, also diagnosed as an adult recently. It was rough but it explained a lot. I've had so many jobs. Retail, sales and many hospitality roles. I'd have frequent breakdowns and major burnouts, I lived alone through half of it so the pressure was immense. My most recent burnout and breakdown resulted in my decision to resign, and I didn't have a follow up job to keep the lights on! It was the scariest position I had ever been in, homelessness was a genuine reality for me. Part of the reason I've watched this channel, and others like it, is because I've experienced catharsis seeing people make homeless life work. It's comforting knowing I could survive if my autism caught up with me under the current status quo and that there's honour in homelessness. Anyhow, taking that risk led to the most rewarding job I've ever had. On paper it's boring, I work in an office with a very small operations team. But, as an autistic person, I've never been more lucky in my life. I don't have to directly talk to hundreds of customers everyday. My coworkers leave me to do my tasks in silence. The human element is minimal. It's perfect for people like us, and I'm getting paid better than I ever have. The jobs exist but jesus christ are they rare. The bureaucracy is cranked up to 11 as well, office jobs are where clients will fuck you in the ass non-consensually and your boss will suck their dick in response. For now it's worth it for the peace and quiet... :)
i relate a lot to the work struggle. The longest I've held a job is 9 months. It's really demoralizing to spend the majority of my life doing a task that I don't want to do that mainly benefits the millionaire exploiting me. And there is little incentive to bust my ass off for a company that will pay me poverty wages no matter how much effort I put in. Some people think I'm lazy, but I just don't see a purpose in suffering for no reward. I can work hard when I believe it will amount to something. I was a valedictorian in high school, but after I got accepted into university I wasn't able to attend because I couldn't afford it. So even after years of hard work, I simply wasn't rich enough to buy my way to success. That experience taught me not to waste time and energy into things with no payoff
well i would be in the same situation as u if i wasnt on disability. im so grateful for disability because its something although ur still poor. if u had psychosis like i do it can maybe get u disability for a few years and maybe housing too. im so sorry for what ur going thru, im ostracized too and have no friends either.
I'm autistic. I was also misdiagnosed BPD before I self diagnosed ASD (then got it confirmed) Asperger's is considered part of the autism spectrum now, so if people are telling you you can't have an autism assessment, they're gaslighting you. You've already been assessed, or you wouldn't have been diagnosed with Asperger's. The way you describe yourself really seems like confirmation you're autistic, too. That place you worked sounds horrible! It's a good thing you didn't get hurt! I'm on disability now, but I hated it when employers were dismissive of dangers or even bullying from co-workers. They hate us when we call them out on things that can benefit not only us, but everyone. I hope you're going to be very successful with your TH-cam channel. This is the first time TH-cam suggested you on my list, and I found this video very relatable. You're very wise for someone so young. All those things you said about being told you're lazy, not trying hard enough, etc... I've heard them over and over over a 40 years work period. And at school before that. It's THEIR biases and discrimination that gets in the way of us being successfully employed. It doesn't matter how hard we try. So much of what you say echos my own life. PS: When I was researching the trauma symptoms of narcissistic abuse, I discovered the trauma symptoms of growing up and living in this world as an unsupported autistic are identical for me. I thought that was interesting. Wishing you all the best 🤗
just so you know this comment (and the other nice ones ive gotten) snapped me out of some imposter syndrome i was going through and really helped me feel better. thank you so much!
seems to be really common also to just dx autistic people with cluster B personality disorders. I was in a clinic where the psychiatrist literally was "shopping around" for some personality disorder symptoms in the hope he could dx me with one, because .. if I do not get along with the dude, clearly I have to have a personality disorder. Same genius also "excluded autism" for me (contradicting his previous (and correct) statement, that he didn't know much about autism and cannot assess it). He did that on the basis of "clinical observation", because I was "showing empathy towards other patients" and was interacting socially.. psychiatrists like him (who clearly seem to think autistic people cannot be empathetic, and have no desire for social connection) are the reason why this system is such a torture for autistic people. The medical system makes me so mad. (as of now, we did not get an opportunity to get assessed for autism (been trying for a year or a bit more now), but with such "professionals" down the line, I have to admit, I do not consider their word to be more likely accurate than (proper/special interest level) self-dx.)
Hi, thank you for your video. You are well spoken. Your story is interesting and relatable (late diagnosed autistic myself). It is never to late reinventing yourself. Listen to what your heart tells you. That's what matters. People with opinions exist like sand corns on a beach. And they don't have the insight about yourself as you do. - You mention the idea to start social media/YT career. From what I can tell this is a viable path for many neurodivergent (end especially adhd/autistic) people since it goes well with the positive traits. (Like you can manage time and social interaction yourself and in a way that works for yourself). Have you considered reaching out to other neurodivergent influencers that you like? They might give you some guidance on this path. Anyway, stay who you are and you got my subscription 🤞
What do you enjoy doing? Yes, neurotypicals have struggles empathizing with autistics. What helps me are my solitary passions. Reading, writing, research, poetry, physics, art, design, program development, tech. Etc. Finding your preferences and passions and building on your strengths is key for thriving as an autistic in a neurotypical world.
It can be extremely difficult to get a mental health diagnosis in general. My friend is trying to get a diagnosis and insurance has rejected their attempts for testing multiple times. :(
Also going the route of the regional centers if you are in the US is fraught with peril. Many don't have good trauma informed psychologists who understand adult autistics or masking. You could end up with a very bad experience of misdiagnosis.
I hate how much I can relate to most of what you say. (except maybe.. my writing seems to not lead to better communication with people. I think my in person language is still doing better. but it might also be the "pretty privilege", that may lead to my conversational partners to interpret my words more favourably than when they'd just read them and get all suspicious, because I am "weird" (aka unusual, aka "different than my conversational partner expects") and to neurotypicals that is of course grounds to assume that I am hostile. I am not. And probably most of us are not. but I understand that people err on the side of caution. if "something is off", it is in most people's experience often a sign of some sort of danger. It is such a bs that hostile people make neurotypicals be hostile towards everybody and anybody who is different. Also: I think you can consider yourself to be autistic, since Asperger's is just short for "Asperger's Autismus", from when Asperger did research with autistic people/children. The diagnosis of "Asperger's" autism is also autism. I think it would be most likely translated to "low support needs", but doesn't make us any less autistic. I am really sorry that you are having such a bad time over there. I hope it'll get better for you soon, and that you can get some support. Everybody needs some support.. and "low needs" are still needs. They do not disappear just because "others have it worse". This makes me so angry for you. and for all of us. glad to have found your video. take care
I do volunteering at a thrift store once a week and during the break I don't talk to the other volunteers much and I think they are starting to dislike me because of that. Also I overheard them complaining that when I'm doing register work that I should be keeping the store tidy and tag clothes at the same time. No I'm working with money, I need to make sure I give the right change and that I have enough energy to talk to customers! If I do that I will take way longer to serve customers and they will get upset because the queue is long. Also due to less energy I would be at higher risk of having a meltdown there which I am trying to avoid at all costs. I don't go well with switching tasks either (I have a lag when switching tasks) I work best with focusing on one task at a time. The gloves issue for your other job sounds frustrating too, at college and for a one day job I was forced to wear gloves that were way too big for me which caused me to take longer to do stuff and drop things. If not for my parents I would be in the same boat if not worse than what you are in (my anxiety currently prevents me from driving). I wish you the best for your TH-cam journey.
Building your way up the ladder at a job is not really a thing anymore. Promotions are not really any kind of boost to income, maybe 1-2.00 more an hour on average. Most places only higher contingent workers and no longer hire employees, meaning you do not get benefits unless your agency provides them. So, this aspect/pathway of the American dream is dead. I been able to hold a my current for 3 years. I'm sticking around at my current because it's actually been the best job I have had, but ultimately I know all jobs are temporary. You will eventually be priced out, laid off, demoted, terminated or simply burned out. mostly, my goal is to hit 5 years so my dead name drops off the background checks. Overall, my dad is def on the spectrum. Brother is diagnosed. I'm some kind of neuro autistic breed. I think overall, we are built for circumstances others would see as challenging. When I see the expectations and requirements to have a normal life.... Wow.... Have to have XYZ and own abc and do lmnoprs.... Like it never stops.
Autism has officially become the new horoscope. They created these vague trait check boxes that almost 75% of people can relate to and some how use it to dismiss their actions in life. The younger people are now feeling like they need to be included in something and they chose this. Anxiety is normal, being creative is normal, not looking someone in the eyes is normal, this isn't enough to just label yourself autistic. Some people just have a shitty up bringing which can cause these sort of symptoms. There's so many variables here that can come into play that don't automatically equate to autism. Shit's just super annoying especially if you have legitimate autistic people in your life.
not to alarm you but you might want to consider what it means for you if you're thinking autistic people's experiences are normal 😅 when it comes to the 'legitimately autistic' people in your life, remember that it's a spectrum with a range of symptoms!
@@foogriffy If we are going by your diagnosis 75% of the worlds population would be autistic. Quit making excuses in order to make yourself feel like you have no control over your situation when you absolutely do. You being homeless has nothing to do with autism. It's merely a crutch to help you cope w/ your actions and/or lack there of is what got you here. There are lower functioning people with full time jobs out there who can't even put a full sentence together yet they are some how manage to make it work.
@@foogriffy If we are going by your diagnosis 75% of the worlds population would be on the autistic spectrum. Quit making excuses in order to make yourself feel like you have no control over your situation when you absolutely do. You being homeless has nothing to do with autism. It's merely a crutch for your actions and/or lack there of to help you feel content with where you are now. You're a smart kid. I've seen some of your other videos and it's fairly obvious you have no trouble socializing. Just quit with using "I'm homeless because I'm autistic" shit when you have no evidence to back any of it up.
ok lol so the last 10 years of my life having near constant meltdowns during even part time work aren't evidence enough? you've seen some of my videos, but you don't know my history or the amount of research i've done and other possibilities i considered before coming to the autism conclusion. attitudes like yours are a reason 'low support needs' autistic people don't get the accomondations they need, and a big contributor to my current situation. this is what i hope will change over time as more awareness is raised. if you're truly invested in my success, support me the way i'm asking for support rather than assuming you know what i can and cannot do based on a couple hours of footage of me talking to a camera. thank you for your comments and views
Asperger`s is not a different thing to autism it is now considered high functioning autism. However if you were previously diagnosed with Asperger`s that diagnosis stands.
No they aren't. Asperger's Syndrome is now referred to as high functioning autism and is part of the Autism Spectrum. It was ALWAYS part of the spectrum though. Let that be clear.
Also a not-diagnosed-but-pretty-sure-I'm-autistic person here, I've not had as rough of a go in jobs but I found a lot of the struggle you spoke about here relatable. Maybe it's the overlap with anxiety, but I've refused or hesitated to apply for a lot of "basic" jobs because I'm pretty certain I'd hate the job or not be cut out for it. The one I was most especially stressed out by was when I worked at a call center. I can manage basic customer service niceness to a point but the constant monitoring to do every single part of every call/chat correctly really sucked. I think that's a brief way to explain my issue: I can manage basic things but it can easily get to a point where the cost of doing that is just really exhausting and stressful. And unless I absolutely MUST do something, my brain will start to shut down and prevent me from dealing with the problem at hand if it gets to be overwhelming. That's hard to relate to other people without sounding like you're just being a baby about it: "if I really don't want to do the thing, I just can't do it." Like, I know that sounds like bullshit but it isn't, if that makes sense. Autism makes you feel like you're the weird one, but sometimes I think everyone else is weirder because they're just not bothered by so many things that they maybe should be.
I consider myself lucky to have a couple roommates who help cover much of the rent and bills so I can work less (and my current job as a substitute teacher is fine for me 99% of the time) and I can help keep the house clean in the meantime. I honestly don't know if I could manage adult life by myself and having to be miserable at a full time job for... ever. It sucks how much success in this world is just based on luck, and how "success" in the system is basically just "make a lot of money." I don't need everything to be a breeze, but it would be nice if things were less hard for no good reason. Hang in there.
The only reason I've ever been let go from jobs is social difficulties. Usually because I've been bullied by coworkers, haven't said anything about it to management because this happens at almost every job, and then the aggressors report to mangement that I'm unsociable.
VAN!!! I love my van. So so much. My only regret is not getting my van 20 years ago. You are very good at this youtube stuff, keep having fun. Life is hard. You got this!
Hi, autistic guy here, also diagnosed as an adult recently. It was rough but it explained a lot. I've had so many jobs. Retail, sales and many hospitality roles. I'd have frequent breakdowns and major burnouts, I lived alone through half of it so the pressure was immense. My most recent burnout and breakdown resulted in my decision to resign, and I didn't have a follow up job to keep the lights on! It was the scariest position I had ever been in, homelessness was a genuine reality for me.
Part of the reason I've watched this channel, and others like it, is because I've experienced catharsis seeing people make homeless life work. It's comforting knowing I could survive if my autism caught up with me under the current status quo and that there's honour in homelessness.
Anyhow, taking that risk led to the most rewarding job I've ever had. On paper it's boring, I work in an office with a very small operations team. But, as an autistic person, I've never been more lucky in my life. I don't have to directly talk to hundreds of customers everyday. My coworkers leave me to do my tasks in silence. The human element is minimal. It's perfect for people like us, and I'm getting paid better than I ever have.
The jobs exist but jesus christ are they rare.
The bureaucracy is cranked up to 11 as well, office jobs are where clients will fuck you in the ass non-consensually and your boss will suck their dick in response.
For now it's worth it for the peace and quiet... :)
i relate a lot to the work struggle. The longest I've held a job is 9 months. It's really demoralizing to spend the majority of my life doing a task that I don't want to do that mainly benefits the millionaire exploiting me. And there is little incentive to bust my ass off for a company that will pay me poverty wages no matter how much effort I put in. Some people think I'm lazy, but I just don't see a purpose in suffering for no reward. I can work hard when I believe it will amount to something. I was a valedictorian in high school, but after I got accepted into university I wasn't able to attend because I couldn't afford it. So even after years of hard work, I simply wasn't rich enough to buy my way to success. That experience taught me not to waste time and energy into things with no payoff
well i would be in the same situation as u if i wasnt on disability. im so grateful for disability because its something although ur still poor. if u had psychosis like i do it can maybe get u disability for a few years and maybe housing too. im so sorry for what ur going thru, im ostracized too and have no friends either.
I'm autistic. I was also misdiagnosed BPD before I self diagnosed ASD (then got it confirmed)
Asperger's is considered part of the autism spectrum now, so if people are telling you you can't have an autism assessment, they're gaslighting you. You've already been assessed, or you wouldn't have been diagnosed with Asperger's. The way you describe yourself really seems like confirmation you're autistic, too.
That place you worked sounds horrible! It's a good thing you didn't get hurt! I'm on disability now, but I hated it when employers were dismissive of dangers or even bullying from co-workers. They hate us when we call them out on things that can benefit not only us, but everyone.
I hope you're going to be very successful with your TH-cam channel. This is the first time TH-cam suggested you on my list, and I found this video very relatable. You're very wise for someone so young.
All those things you said about being told you're lazy, not trying hard enough, etc... I've heard them over and over over a 40 years work period. And at school before that. It's THEIR biases and discrimination that gets in the way of us being successfully employed. It doesn't matter how hard we try. So much of what you say echos my own life.
PS: When I was researching the trauma symptoms of narcissistic abuse, I discovered the trauma symptoms of growing up and living in this world as an unsupported autistic are identical for me. I thought that was interesting.
Wishing you all the best 🤗
just so you know this comment (and the other nice ones ive gotten) snapped me out of some imposter syndrome i was going through and really helped me feel better. thank you so much!
@foogriffy Thanks for letting me know. Now my day is brighter knowing I helped cheer you up. 👍🏻🌞
seems to be really common also to just dx autistic people with cluster B personality disorders. I was in a clinic where the psychiatrist literally was "shopping around" for some personality disorder symptoms in the hope he could dx me with one, because .. if I do not get along with the dude, clearly I have to have a personality disorder. Same genius also "excluded autism" for me (contradicting his previous (and correct) statement, that he didn't know much about autism and cannot assess it). He did that on the basis of "clinical observation", because I was "showing empathy towards other patients" and was interacting socially.. psychiatrists like him (who clearly seem to think autistic people cannot be empathetic, and have no desire for social connection) are the reason why this system is such a torture for autistic people. The medical system makes me so mad.
(as of now, we did not get an opportunity to get assessed for autism (been trying for a year or a bit more now), but with such "professionals" down the line, I have to admit, I do not consider their word to be more likely accurate than (proper/special interest level) self-dx.)
Hi, thank you for your video. You are well spoken. Your story is interesting and relatable (late diagnosed autistic myself). It is never to late reinventing yourself. Listen to what your heart tells you. That's what matters. People with opinions exist like sand corns on a beach. And they don't have the insight about yourself as you do. - You mention the idea to start social media/YT career. From what I can tell this is a viable path for many neurodivergent (end especially adhd/autistic) people since it goes well with the positive traits. (Like you can manage time and social interaction yourself and in a way that works for yourself). Have you considered reaching out to other neurodivergent influencers that you like? They might give you some guidance on this path. Anyway, stay who you are and you got my subscription 🤞
What do you enjoy doing? Yes, neurotypicals have struggles empathizing with autistics. What helps me are my solitary passions. Reading, writing, research, poetry, physics, art, design, program development, tech. Etc. Finding your preferences and passions and building on your strengths is key for thriving as an autistic in a neurotypical world.
It can be extremely difficult to get a mental health diagnosis in general. My friend is trying to get a diagnosis and insurance has rejected their attempts for testing multiple times. :(
@@SwirlytheSnail i hear that.. good luck to your friend!
Also going the route of the regional centers if you are in the US is fraught with peril. Many don't have good trauma informed psychologists who understand adult autistics or masking. You could end up with a very bad experience of misdiagnosis.
I hate how much I can relate to most of what you say. (except maybe.. my writing seems to not lead to better communication with people. I think my in person language is still doing better. but it might also be the "pretty privilege", that may lead to my conversational partners to interpret my words more favourably than when they'd just read them and get all suspicious, because I am "weird" (aka unusual, aka "different than my conversational partner expects") and to neurotypicals that is of course grounds to assume that I am hostile. I am not. And probably most of us are not. but I understand that people err on the side of caution. if "something is off", it is in most people's experience often a sign of some sort of danger. It is such a bs that hostile people make neurotypicals be hostile towards everybody and anybody who is different.
Also: I think you can consider yourself to be autistic, since Asperger's is just short for "Asperger's Autismus", from when Asperger did research with autistic people/children. The diagnosis of "Asperger's" autism is also autism. I think it would be most likely translated to "low support needs", but doesn't make us any less autistic. I am really sorry that you are having such a bad time over there. I hope it'll get better for you soon, and that you can get some support. Everybody needs some support.. and "low needs" are still needs. They do not disappear just because "others have it worse". This makes me so angry for you. and for all of us.
glad to have found your video. take care
I do volunteering at a thrift store once a week and during the break I don't talk to the other volunteers much and I think they are starting to dislike me because of that. Also I overheard them complaining that when I'm doing register work that I should be keeping the store tidy and tag clothes at the same time. No I'm working with money, I need to make sure I give the right change and that I have enough energy to talk to customers! If I do that I will take way longer to serve customers and they will get upset because the queue is long. Also due to less energy I would be at higher risk of having a meltdown there which I am trying to avoid at all costs. I don't go well with switching tasks either (I have a lag when switching tasks) I work best with focusing on one task at a time.
The gloves issue for your other job sounds frustrating too, at college and for a one day job I was forced to wear gloves that were way too big for me which caused me to take longer to do stuff and drop things.
If not for my parents I would be in the same boat if not worse than what you are in (my anxiety currently prevents me from driving). I wish you the best for your TH-cam journey.
Building your way up the ladder at a job is not really a thing anymore. Promotions are not really any kind of boost to income, maybe 1-2.00 more an hour on average. Most places only higher contingent workers and no longer hire employees, meaning you do not get benefits unless your agency provides them. So, this aspect/pathway of the American dream is dead.
I been able to hold a my current for 3 years. I'm sticking around at my current because it's actually been the best job I have had, but ultimately I know all jobs are temporary. You will eventually be priced out, laid off, demoted, terminated or simply burned out. mostly, my goal is to hit 5 years so my dead name drops off the background checks.
Overall, my dad is def on the spectrum. Brother is diagnosed. I'm some kind of neuro autistic breed.
I think overall, we are built for circumstances others would see as challenging. When I see the expectations and requirements to have a normal life.... Wow.... Have to have XYZ and own abc and do lmnoprs.... Like it never stops.
I know right ...they don't like us at all or we are know it all's....being weird is because we were chosen .
Amen
Autism has officially become the new horoscope. They created these vague trait check boxes that almost 75% of people can relate to and some how use it to dismiss their actions in life. The younger people are now feeling like they need to be included in something and they chose this. Anxiety is normal, being creative is normal, not looking someone in the eyes is normal, this isn't enough to just label yourself autistic. Some people just have a shitty up bringing which can cause these sort of symptoms. There's so many variables here that can come into play that don't automatically equate to autism. Shit's just super annoying especially if you have legitimate autistic people in your life.
not to alarm you but you might want to consider what it means for you if you're thinking autistic people's experiences are normal 😅 when it comes to the 'legitimately autistic' people in your life, remember that it's a spectrum with a range of symptoms!
@@foogriffy If we are going by your diagnosis 75% of the worlds population would be autistic. Quit making excuses in order to make yourself feel like you have no control over your situation when you absolutely do. You being homeless has nothing to do with autism. It's merely a crutch to help you cope w/ your actions and/or lack there of is what got you here. There are lower functioning people with full time jobs out there who can't even put a full sentence together yet they are some how manage to make it work.
@@foogriffy If we are going by your diagnosis 75% of the worlds population would be on the autistic spectrum. Quit making excuses in order to make yourself feel like you have no control over your situation when you absolutely do. You being homeless has nothing to do with autism. It's merely a crutch for your actions and/or lack there of to help you feel content with where you are now. You're a smart kid. I've seen some of your other videos and it's fairly obvious you have no trouble socializing. Just quit with using "I'm homeless because I'm autistic" shit when you have no evidence to back any of it up.
ok lol so the last 10 years of my life having near constant meltdowns during even part time work aren't evidence enough? you've seen some of my videos, but you don't know my history or the amount of research i've done and other possibilities i considered before coming to the autism conclusion. attitudes like yours are a reason 'low support needs' autistic people don't get the accomondations they need, and a big contributor to my current situation. this is what i hope will change over time as more awareness is raised.
if you're truly invested in my success, support me the way i'm asking for support rather than assuming you know what i can and cannot do based on a couple hours of footage of me talking to a camera. thank you for your comments and views
Autism and Asperger's are 2 different things.
Asperger`s is not a different thing to autism it is now considered high functioning autism. However if you were previously diagnosed with Asperger`s that diagnosis stands.
No they aren't. Asperger's Syndrome is now referred to as high functioning autism and is part of the Autism Spectrum. It was ALWAYS part of the spectrum though. Let that be clear.
Asperger's is Autism Level 1 according to the DSM-5