Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets : - Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke. - When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim. - Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not. - They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right. - Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical. - They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection. - Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target. - They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing). - They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!). - Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything. - Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help. - When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors. - Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them. - They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior. - They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer. - They think they are models to be followed. - They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief. Please share this message to other people and forums.
I mean I know someone who has those traits but she's highly religious and blames everything on god. Another difference is that she apologizes but she always still blames it on someone else. So, its not sincere.
And this is why my special person is a horse! She's honest and she loves me. I totally give up on humans. Did you know horseback riding is an excellent form of exercise? There are a lot of seniors who ride. A 72 year old man won the Tevis Cup (100 miles/24 hours) last year! Wow. It's also great for mental health; being in the outdoors and having a trusted 'friend' as a teammate is awesome. You get the same effects by just owning a horse as caring for them requires work and confidence.
My brother does all of this stuff. He always says, "I'm just joking." His wife (ex wife now) would do the same thing. It's pretty pathetic and sad. He manipulates the family all the time but he can no longer manipulate me. He's going through a divorce for a reason. He treated his wife like shit for years. I live with him but refuse to go back to the house. I was luckily able to stay at my boyfriends house today but I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I think I'm just going to live in my car. I had to block all my family members because I knew they wouldn't listen to me. I've already tried talking to my mom about it but she just stood up for him or felt sorry for him. I no longer feel sorry for him or care about him. All sympathy has gone away and hopefully he will be able to pick himself up but I won't be there to do that. His wife left him, my mom who lived with him left him, his best friend isn't talking to him right now, I'm not talking to him. His way of dealing with it is moping around and smoking weed. My way of dealing with his abuse is just keeping all of it inside. I've even stopped talking to my boyfriend. He tried to talk to me today and I just lay in his bed not saying a word.
I'm confused my wife is saying I'm verbally abusive, but I only react when she constantly tells me I'm a bad father for our son. The way I react is I ask for a divorce and she says that is threatening. But she tells anyone who will listen that I'm the problem with our marriage.
Dan Pinkerton Late but, you're not the problem to your relationship. A verbally abusive relationship can be worse than physical abuse, because with physical abuse, you know its wrong, and you can let yourself hate them for it. But with a verbally abusive relationship, it's one person being nice one minute and shaming you the next, making you unsure and in fear. That's a toxic relationship, and if you want to get a divorce, read up everything you can about it because its a long process, especially since the courts are awful with custody.
Because of my parents, I get scared when people raise their voice even a little bit, mainly my dad. I am always scared I’m gonna make my dad mad because, “it’s all my fault” . A lot of the time they will compare me to my brother. He is smart, has straight A’s, is in all A P classes, and is just, “perfect”. I am always worried when I am with my dad, he is supposed to be someone I trust. They will never understand me or my life.
Thank you for sharing here on TH-cam. I hope you find my videos resourceful. Should you need a professional to speak with you can contact our services or find a professional in your area. #TalkTherapy can support families in sorting communication and relationships in a healthy way.
I’m alone a lot lately. I seem to be liking it that way. Being told “Open your eyes.” Is just another way of calling me stupid. Friends don’t say that to friends.
But my momma understands me a little too well. Like my best friend. And I regret for saying, "she didn't understand me". Because I love my ma but I never truly hate her. No matter how negative.
My mom and stepdad verbally abuse me. My stepdad talks about my mom behind her back to me, calls me names, yells at me, begets me, and all that. My mom calls me stupid and says how she’s going to blow her brains out because of me. I tried to talk to my guidance counselor about it last year, and she called child protective services. They opened a case but they both lied and played the victim and my mom even said I am the one abusing her. So they closed the case and now no one believes me, including my friends because they don’t act the same around them, but in closed doors, I’m drowning 😪
Verbal abuse is so insidious it leaves unseen scars no one can visually see with the eyes but the abused person is carrying this around.The so called parent is more than likely such a low bred coward they will die abusive crass and very unloveable!
How about non-verbal abuse? Meaning, not saying things like “that’s great” or “good job” when you share with your spouse a compliment you received at work for your leadership qualities? Absolute crickets! Yet he can respond that way to his 13 year old son doing the slightest accomplishment.
My mother always complains that she does everything for me and my sister, but she almost always does things that benefit her opinion more than ours. She makes us barbie dolls, criticizing us for how we dress and weigh. She always is hot tempered and won’t let us speak our minds, otherwise she yells at us. Today, me and my sister ran to her best friend’s house because my sister told my mom she preferred my dad (they divorced a couple of years ago). Im scared for me and my sister. Ps: she threatens to hit me and my sister.
Please seek professional help for your safety. If you would like to address inter-relationship goals for you and your mother, do reach out info@noelmcdermott.net Be safe.
I think I’m being verbal abuse of my dad he constantly says I’m stupid almost everything I do is wrong I’m very under appreciated my dad never talks about me or how I’m doing he just talks about how every wants his money or people are jealous of him etc and I’m so tired of hearing it.
Its sad because normally this way, I try to make her understand. But all she say is, "stop making up words". I'm a sensative human being that cares for the right reason, not the wrong reason. I try to tell someone but they keep saying otherwise. I'm a brave, independent, young person. Very strong young lady, but I'm human, not that cynical. But here I am, going through it with very nice people that I love to chat with. I fear loneliness and rejection. Not from love, from people to understand. I know who I am, but I'm never afraid to step up. But having to talk smack as a sensitivity or a warming exercise to clear your evidence of how a person should treat you. No. Not in my case or anyone else ya know?
My husband tells me I’m bipolar I am depressed he never says he’s sorry he neglected me physically emotionally they ended up reaching out to somebody else and he I did things that I would never do if I were not abused I’m 31 years into this I’m mentally emotionally frozen to move forward in life such as leaving him like everyone expects me to do on the Internet I don’t have any friends I have zero family but he’s the victim
I don’t know if it’s me just being a teen but I always feel that i can never win and my mom goes off on me for no reason. She has told me to shut up twice now and I have really bad ansity so I’m always scared I’m wrong and she takes everything I say and turns it into something else and I don’t know if I’m the problem or not... I have told her how I felt multiple times and it never helps I normally cry at least 2 a month. But not only that but I don’t know my dad and I’m scared that if I’m right that I’ll be taken away and I frankly don’t want to lose my home, my mom, my pets, my friends, my school, etc. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a kid but this is just how I feel.
my father calls me stupid, dumb and a mistake since he gets angry really easily.. I’m not sure if this is a sign of verbal abuse or he doesn’t really use prudence
My father is overprotective and doesn't let me do things on my own. I've never been able to hang out with a friend or go to the mall simply because of the fact he thinks I'll get raped by someone or my mother is sick all of the time. This has been going on since I was a little girl. My dad yells in my face and spits on me yelling things like "dumbass" or "fucking" or "lazy ass" "your better of begging for money in the street" when he does it which scares me and stresses me out. I can't wait till I'm eighteen and I can move out from my home which is a year away because I've already slapped him twice for getting in my face and yelling at me and threatening like I'm an animal and then playing victim and threatening to call the cops and say I've been constantly physically abusing him and beating the breath out of him when I slap him in defense. I'm honestly surprised I haven't committed suicide because of him because I just want to live my life but he has such a tight grip on me and I can only be home....
Rosa, thank you for sharing here. Do reach out to me personally info@noelmcdermott.net for further discussion. The right conversation could offer you guidance and hope.
im 13 my sister dragged me out of the bed cursed me out fought me because i said i didn't wanna go to the park with them and my moms rich friend they screamed at me for being an atheist they disowned me unplugged my computer and told me not to leave the house or they'll have me put away
Why is it always leaning towards a man being the aggressor. I am looking for help. My wife verbally assaults me on a constant basis. When I tell her how I feel, she shuts me down, calls me a bitch for it. I can go on and on. I don't know what to do we have kids.
Thank you for sharing here. Do reach out to me personally info@noelmcdermott.net for further discussion. The right conversation could offer you guidance and hope.
My dad does some of those thing and his Stuiped girl friend was always me and she called me a little "bi! $h" :( my dad does it when he get stressed he takes it on me
Kyo, thank you for sharing here. Do reach out to me personally info@noelmcdermott.net for further discussion. The right conversation could offer you guidance and hope.
@sirjosh please seek professional help. A counsellor can best guide you after learning more about your personal situation. Do reach out inof@noelmcdermott.net
Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets :
- Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke.
- When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim.
- Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not.
- They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right.
- Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical.
- They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection.
- Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target.
- They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing).
- They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!).
- Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything.
- Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help.
- When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors.
- Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them.
- They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior.
- They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer.
- They think they are models to be followed.
- They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief.
Please share this message to other people and forums.
thanks for sharing your experience
thanks for sharing your thoughts
I mean I know someone who has those traits but she's highly religious and blames everything on god. Another difference is that she apologizes but she always still blames it on someone else. So, its not sincere.
My mom is like this COMPLETELY
Fireheart Lightning how to copy that
I keep my mouth shut and act like everything is okay.
might be time to move on?
Relatable
Ignoring it only makes the person/situation worst.
@Kai Potter you may want to get help or leave
Yo I wish I could do that shit sometimes
Verbal abuse is the worst
VERBAL ABUSE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL BECAUSE IT IS ONE OF THE WORSE CRIMES EVER!!!!!
True
And this is why my special person is a horse! She's honest and she loves me. I totally give up on humans.
Did you know horseback riding is an excellent form of exercise? There are a lot of seniors who ride. A 72 year old man won the Tevis Cup (100 miles/24 hours) last year! Wow. It's also great for mental health; being in the outdoors and having a trusted 'friend' as a teammate is awesome. You get the same effects by just owning a horse as caring for them requires work and confidence.
+lin sioux thanks for sharing this
how lovely :)
Noel McDermott will you Explain intimadation seduction manipulation stonewalling harressment corecion
I'd be happy to discuss these topics with you, do reach out info@noelmcdermott.net
Can this be the same signs for verbal abuse in families? Like, for your parents or siblings?
My brother does all of this stuff. He always says, "I'm just joking." His wife (ex wife now) would do the same thing. It's pretty pathetic and sad. He manipulates the family all the time but he can no longer manipulate me. He's going through a divorce for a reason. He treated his wife like shit for years. I live with him but refuse to go back to the house. I was luckily able to stay at my boyfriends house today but I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I think I'm just going to live in my car. I had to block all my family members because I knew they wouldn't listen to me. I've already tried talking to my mom about it but she just stood up for him or felt sorry for him. I no longer feel sorry for him or care about him. All sympathy has gone away and hopefully he will be able to pick himself up but I won't be there to do that. His wife left him, my mom who lived with him left him, his best friend isn't talking to him right now, I'm not talking to him. His way of dealing with it is moping around and smoking weed. My way of dealing with his abuse is just keeping all of it inside. I've even stopped talking to my boyfriend. He tried to talk to me today and I just lay in his bed not saying a word.
Thank you for sharing here. It may help to have a full conversation regarding your comment. Do reach out info@noelmcdermott.net
I am really glad I came across your TH-cam page. I was looking at videos under "compare and despair" and came across you. Great work you're doing.
I am glad you appreciate the posts. Should you need more attention do reach out to info@noelmcdermott.net
I'm trying to get out of it but he doesn't want me to leave
You can find support when you are ready. Do reach out and we may guide you to the correct services. info@noelmcdermott.net Be safe.
I'm confused my wife is saying I'm verbally abusive, but I only react when she constantly tells me I'm a bad father for our son. The way I react is I ask for a divorce and she says that is threatening. But she tells anyone who will listen that I'm the problem with our marriage.
Dan Pinkerton Late but, you're not the problem to your relationship. A verbally abusive relationship can be worse than physical abuse, because with physical abuse, you know its wrong, and you can let yourself hate them for it. But with a verbally abusive relationship, it's one person being nice one minute and shaming you the next, making you unsure and in fear. That's a toxic relationship, and if you want to get a divorce, read up everything you can about it because its a long process, especially since the courts are awful with custody.
Thank you for sharing here. It may help to have a full conversation regarding your comment. Do reach out info@noelmcdermott.net
Yes, Very useful. Thank you very much.
Because of my parents, I get scared when people raise their voice even a little bit, mainly my dad. I am always scared I’m gonna make my dad mad because, “it’s all my fault” . A lot of the time they will compare me to my brother. He is smart, has straight A’s, is in all A P classes, and is just, “perfect”. I am always worried when I am with my dad, he is supposed to be someone I trust. They will never understand me or my life.
Thank you for sharing here on TH-cam. I hope you find my videos resourceful. Should you need a professional to speak with you can contact our services or find a professional in your area. #TalkTherapy can support families in sorting communication and relationships in a healthy way.
I'm also been victimized by verbal abuse, despite I could still survive from it, even if they're wrong, they're not wrong about everything
Jhed _Maniac! do get help
I’m alone a lot lately. I seem to be liking it that way. Being told “Open your eyes.” Is just another way of calling me stupid. Friends don’t say that to friends.
I get verbally abused everyday by my grandma
But my momma understands me a little too well. Like my best friend. And I regret for saying, "she didn't understand me". Because I love my ma but I never truly hate her. No matter how negative.
My mom and stepdad verbally abuse me. My stepdad talks about my mom behind her back to me, calls me names, yells at me, begets me, and all that. My mom calls me stupid and says how she’s going to blow her brains out because of me. I tried to talk to my guidance counselor about it last year, and she called child protective services. They opened a case but they both lied and played the victim and my mom even said I am the one abusing her. So they closed the case and now no one believes me, including my friends because they don’t act the same around them, but in closed doors, I’m drowning 😪
Please seek professional help who can assist in creating a support plan for you. for more information: info@noelmcdermott.net
Verbal abuse is so insidious it leaves unseen scars no one can visually see with the eyes but the abused person is carrying this around.The so called parent is more than likely such a low bred coward they will die abusive crass and very unloveable!
verbal abuse is wounding. Please be safe and seek professional help if you are being threatened.
How about non-verbal abuse? Meaning, not saying things like “that’s great” or “good job” when you share with your spouse a compliment you received at work for your leadership qualities? Absolute crickets! Yet he can respond that way to his 13 year old son doing the slightest accomplishment.
My mother always complains that she does everything for me and my sister, but she almost always does things that benefit her opinion more than ours. She makes us barbie dolls, criticizing us for how we dress and weigh. She always is hot tempered and won’t let us speak our minds, otherwise she yells at us. Today, me and my sister ran to her best friend’s house because my sister told my mom she preferred my dad (they divorced a couple of years ago).
Im scared for me and my sister.
Ps: she threatens to hit me and my sister.
Please seek professional help for your safety. If you would like to address inter-relationship goals for you and your mother, do reach out info@noelmcdermott.net Be safe.
My mom is verbally abusing me
Sorry to hear that, CR1T1CALHITZ. Do reach out directly should you need further support: info@noelmcdermott.net
I think I’m being verbal abuse of my dad he constantly says I’m stupid almost everything I do is wrong I’m very under appreciated my dad never talks about me or how I’m doing he just talks about how every wants his money or people are jealous of him etc and I’m so tired of hearing it.
Feel free to reach out if you need to speak about this further info@noelmcdermott.net
Its sad because normally this way, I try to make her understand. But all she say is, "stop making up words". I'm a sensative human being that cares for the right reason, not the wrong reason. I try to tell someone but they keep saying otherwise.
I'm a brave, independent, young person. Very strong young lady, but I'm human, not that cynical. But here I am, going through it with very nice people that I love to chat with.
I fear loneliness and rejection. Not from love, from people to understand. I know who I am, but I'm never afraid to step up.
But having to talk smack as a sensitivity or a warming exercise to clear your evidence of how a person should treat you. No. Not in my case or anyone else ya know?
Keep speaking your truth. Should you not feel safe to express who you are, you can always reach out for help.
My husband tells me I’m bipolar I am depressed he never says he’s sorry he neglected me physically emotionally they ended up reaching out to somebody else and he I did things that I would never do if I were not abused I’m 31 years into this I’m mentally emotionally frozen to move forward in life such as leaving him like everyone expects me to do on the Internet I don’t have any friends I have zero family but he’s the victim
Please seek professional help and feel free to email for more information: info@noelmcdermott.net
I don’t know if it’s me just being a teen but I always feel that i can never win and my mom goes off on me for no reason. She has told me to shut up twice now and I have really bad ansity so I’m always scared I’m wrong and she takes everything I say and turns it into something else and I don’t know if I’m the problem or not... I have told her how I felt multiple times and it never helps I normally cry at least 2 a month. But not only that but I don’t know my dad and I’m scared that if I’m right that I’ll be taken away and I frankly don’t want to lose my home, my mom, my pets, my friends, my school, etc. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a kid but this is just how I feel.
It may help to discuss in more detail. info@noelmcdermott.net
Thank you. That was informative. :)
+Mollie McMullan glad you found it so
my father calls me stupid, dumb and a mistake since he gets angry really easily.. I’m not sure if this is a sign of verbal abuse or he doesn’t really use prudence
Should you need to talk more with a professional please reach out info@noelmcdermott.net
My father is overprotective and doesn't let me do things on my own. I've never been able to hang out with a friend or go to the mall simply because of the fact he thinks I'll get raped by someone or my mother is sick all of the time. This has been going on since I was a little girl.
My dad yells in my face and spits on me yelling things like "dumbass" or "fucking" or "lazy ass" "your better of begging for money in the street" when he does it which scares me and stresses me out. I can't wait till I'm eighteen and I can move out from my home which is a year away because I've already slapped him twice for getting in my face and yelling at me and threatening like I'm an animal and then playing victim and threatening to call the cops and say I've been constantly physically abusing him and beating the breath out of him when I slap him in defense. I'm honestly surprised I haven't committed suicide because of him because I just want to live my life but he has such a tight grip on me and I can only be home....
Rosa, thank you for sharing here. Do reach out to me personally info@noelmcdermott.net for further discussion. The right conversation could offer you guidance and hope.
im 13 my sister dragged me out of the bed cursed me out fought me because i said i didn't wanna go to the park with them and my moms rich friend they screamed at me for being an atheist they disowned me unplugged my computer and told me not to leave the house or they'll have me put away
Do reach out to me info@noelmcdermott.net for further discussion. The right conversation could offer you guidance and hope.
Why is it always leaning towards a man being the aggressor. I am looking for help. My wife verbally assaults me on a constant basis. When I tell her how I feel, she shuts me down, calls me a bitch for it. I can go on and on. I don't know what to do we have kids.
I've been verbally abused by my stepdad for 5 years
Do reach out when you feel you need support info@noelmcdermott.net
Same :(
my father verbally abuse me and my mom
blabla thanks for sharing. I’m sorry to hear this
Thank you
+Articulus Opinio you're welcome, glad you liked it
I feel like my dad just neglects me half the time😭
Should you need to talk more with a professional please reach out info@noelmcdermott.net
Im 14 and ive been verbally abused by my relative many times...
Thank you for sharing here. Do reach out to me personally info@noelmcdermott.net for further discussion. The right conversation could offer you guidance and hope.
My dad verbally and mental abused me
Talking about it can help free you from the past experiences. Start a conversation with a professional carer, when you feel ready.
Noel McDermott I started talking ages ago but thanks for the advise I am still talking to people now
My dad does some of those thing and his Stuiped girl friend was always me and she called me a little "bi! $h" :( my dad does it when he get stressed he takes it on me
#Squad Girl, therapy support may be helpful when you feel ready.
Somebody who had a REALLY similar story to mine, made me believe I'm his friend. And sadly, I believed.
Kyo, thank you for sharing here. Do reach out to me personally info@noelmcdermott.net for further discussion. The right conversation could offer you guidance and hope.
i just don't say anything about what happened...
@madisongardner if you feel you are in danger be sure to reach out for proper help as soon as possible
and you may want to consider moving on
Yes he did say it
my dad and mom does verbally abuses me what’s should i tell them?
@sirjosh please seek professional help. A counsellor can best guide you after learning more about your personal situation. Do reach out inof@noelmcdermott.net
Is that the guy from Tears for Fears?
Well, in fact I am a verbal abuser.