Here's What REALLY Pisses Me Off... | Compilation
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 พ.ย. 2023
- From Russell Howard's Stand Up Central, from bendy break to wonky veg, Russell shares what really pisses him off...
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As a security officer at a major hospital, I see this mindless shit far too often. I've lost count at amount of people we've thrown out.
Do they have at least to pay for that? I would charge 1000 every time.
@@Masanumi Nope, but the NHS really should start charging for these dickheads wasting medical staff and security's time.
Curved Croissants? Throwing food out? Cleavage?? Standing around in underwear?? Abnormal sex?😅
@@ytisfulloffreaks4189
I'm going to guess abnormal sex with the list of things people get stuck up their butts.
That's just a guess, though.
I've also seen it the other way around as well though, on 2 occasions whilst popping to see my mum who's a paramedic, security have been disgusting to patients in mental health crisises. Both were sworn at and manhandled. One was at 1am and the man screaming help me was thrown to the floor and called a R*****. The other was on the ward (I have organ failure) and most nurses I knew have left the ward I frequent due to the Tories/strikes. And the "nurse" called a man a junkie and security removed him by force. He had no fucking idea what was going on! I'm sure you're great at your job though! 💖
Sorry to say that the "Stop attacking doctors and nurses" is a sad reality in my country, too.
I love your take on things, Russel and you seem to have a loving and crazy funny family.
The more I listen to Russel, the more I wish I could meet his mum!!! 😂🤣😂
And his dad, seems a good chap.
OMG!! Calling a testicle a witches chin had me rolling! 😂😂😂
Rolling what ? Joints ? A lawn ?
@waynepantry7023 Probably limp bizkit rolling
same!
Err, nuts lol @@waynepantry7023
Wait wait wait
But... If a croissant isn't curved, is it even still a croissant?
It’s a bun.
Saw Russell live recently. Not too expensive and was an absolute brilliant event. Cannot express how much I love this man and his comedy
He's a national treasure 😎
Jealous!!
How much was it
He is honestly so entertaining, sometimes it is absolutely bloody joyful to listen to him and yet he is also serious about important topics, he is a human being and a comedian who just shows so much understanding around the world. Your own opinion is yours but I absolutely love this guy! Russel never fails to leave an impression.
Could listen to him all day.
Seeing Russell in Oz next year. So excited. The croissant dilemma had me in stitches! First world problem, sad to say.
I wasn't aware he was coming here next year.
Will have to try and get a ticket
Thanks for the heads up!
I wonder if Russel's mum actually said all the hilarious and savage things Russel attributes to her - if she did, their house must be awesome to be at on family holidays.
From what little I've seen of her when she's joined him on tv, yes I can quite believe she said all those mad things!
Love you and your comedy! So witty and observant! Watching your videos is much better than any anti depressant! Thank you!!
Russell is a national treasure 😂
The Terry Wogan bit was golden 😂👏
I love Russell & our other treasured stand up comedians, they effectively have a licence to tell the truth, usually pointing out the hilarious absurdities of every day life.
Long may they continue to stand up!
To an extent they can speak the truth:/
Here we go... Can't wait to hear your "everything is woke and the left are cancelling comedy" diatribe now @@ytisfulloffreaks4189
Do you like Nish Kumar and James Acaster too?
Unfortunately, medical staff have been attacked in many countries. Volatile people exist everwhere, not just in the UK. 😞
Thing is hospitals are full of unwell people and people going through very difficult things. And medical staff tend to be in a position of power over unwell people. Just like a cat or a dog if they feel threatened, will fight or flight, so will a human. While not all medical staff set about to make the patient feel threatened- any circumstance where the patient lacks control understandably can cause volatile behaviour even if it isn't helpful. But medications and drugs are also big influencers of causing that kind of behaviour. Trauma (whether caused by former inappropriate medical interventions or other traumas that are triggered by medical intervention) also causes more volatile behaviour. So understandably hospitals will have a higher risk of aggressive behaviours than places where people have more freedom, sense of equality, safety and good health.
He's not taking about another country he's talking about the UK..
he said we're the only country withe that sign, op is refuting his statement@@SECRETORDEROFTHEKNIGHTSTEMPLAR
I do like his comedy, especially as he does set out to be deliberately offensive or overly swear, just the kind of stuff we all might do. I haven't seen him live, but given the stories he's told about his family (like the garden hot tub) it'd be great to see him perform but them sat on a sofa on the stage to interact with him, and heckle in the ways that only family can.
That is such a Mrs.Howard response though... Love it!
England isn't the only country that discards wonky vegetables; America does too! Lol We do have an online shop though, where you can buy the "wonky" vegetables at a discount 😂😂😂😂
Some supermarkets now sell the wonky veg at a discount and there's also at least one online service (oddbox) which has made a business out of delivering the beauty rejects to your door 🙂
Happy holidays man! Thanks For this 🎉🎉🎉🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
I haven’t heard any USA or tRump jokes lately. Thanks for the laughs Mate.
Can always rely on Russell to cheer you up when you're struggling!
I love you Russell no one says it like you. Never stop you are a tonic. You brighten my day.
Now that I think about it, my supermarket here in Holland does the same with their croissants. They're also straight here nowadays.
I love your channel keep up the great stuff
Absolute legend!!!
RUSS --- WE LOVE YOU !! You brighten any day. Make the darkest day sunny.
I swear, every video I’ve ever seen of Russell Howard standup makes me almost pee myself laughing!🤣🤣🤣🤣 Omg, this guy is hysterical🤣🤣🤣🤣
Russell, his mum & family are all truly precious. 😬🤩🤣😁
We, in the US, who work in hospitals, would really appreciate those signs.
What a legend 😂
5:57 I nearly choked on my drink. 🤣🤣
Honey, I'm an American, and I've seen those don't-attack-us signs not only at the hospital, but on the door of my VETERINARIAN'S office.
In my sainsburys, even though there is only one door in and out of the toilets, there is a sign on the back of the door saying exit. Who the hell is getting confused about how to leave the toilet.
It used to be that villages had only one idiot, but now you can't go anywhere without bumping into multiple ones.
Previously the village idiot died alone, these days we breed them
Love him ❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂
God, I just love this guy!!!! He’s my ”favoritest” comedian - even though some of his jokes are sorta blue :) 🌷🌱 (New Yorker here)
Those signs are in hospitals in Australia too 😢
One of the best jokes actually came from his mum. 🤣
😂😂😂 I'm dead!
A few years back there was this investigation into British poverty that concluded that Britain’s substandard performance was entirely blamed to political choices made. Poverty was absolutely not necessary and could easily be fixed if so desired by the government. THAT WAS SHOCKING 😳
And yet… here we are, nothing was done AS USUAL and conditions actually worsened 😡‼️
We have those signs in hospitals and pharmacies in Canada too.. sorta insane
I'm Australia we have signs in doctors surgeries and hospitals that say they don't accept harassment and violence against staff and other patients
And pharmacies😢
I feel this…I’ve been to the hospital and have seen people attacking nurses because their family members are dying. And people attack nurses without even realizing that the nurses are there to make the dying process as comfortable as possible. Support your local nurses. 👍👍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😎
We actually have those signs in hospitals and Dr offices in America too.
0:33 sadly those signs are here in Australia 🇦🇺 too
This guy is honest.
In Australia there are also signs on hospital walls saying that abuse towards hospital staff will not be tolerated
Ummm I've just been in Tesco and bought some normally curved croissants. If they aren't curved they aren't crescents (direct translation). But love his take on things generally!
We have them too. Merica! 😂
🤣🤪🫣😅🫡🫶🙏
We have the signs in NZ hospitals. We also have security guards in our libraries - how's that for a rough neighborhood?!
Where I live in the US (Tucson, AZ), it's not unusual for police officers to be posted in libraries which is absolutely insane.
In australian supermarkets (woolworths at least), 'wonky' vegetables are sold as 'the odd bunch' and are a little cheaper. It's great when you're on a tight budget.
Oh Britain, you are not the only ones beating up hospital staff. I am a nurse in Canada, and after doing research on the subject, seer up a nurse’s self defence program\ in conjunction with the city police. Granted, most of our attacks are due to people who are brain damaged, coming out of anaesthesia, coming of drugs or alcohol etc., we do get attacked but just plain angry people. If fact, a nurse is more likely to be assaulted ( in Canada and US ) than female prison guards! So, you’re not the worst - just one of the worst!
When putting jam on your bendy croissant 🥐 please do NOT use a straight knife but a SICKLE instead to avoid issues at breakfast 😉
Funny guy 😂
Funny as f45k!
In Australia we sell the gnarly funny looking fruit and veggies for kids called the odd bunch.
We didn’t have 2 phone but I got once a secret admirer loveletter around age 12-13…I wasn’t home and my whole family read it and had a laugh before I did.
As someone who just spent time in the hospital due to bipolar, I have something to say about this. I spent eight days there. after having my meal stolen by another patient and being locked in a solitary room due to Covid. I lost it. I was angry, and I expressed it. The nurse told me to stop yelling at her. I repeatedly told her I’m not yelling at her. I’m not in anyway threatening her. I wasn’t swearing or pointing at her, I wasn’t even facing her or standing up. I just said I’m having a legitimate response to a very stressful situation. After all, this is a psych ward were you think occasionally, patience are going to act out. Instead of helping me, or saying something like let’s take a minute to calm down take a deep breath she just walked away. Keep in mind I couldn’t leave the room because I was Covid positive my call button didn’t work. She didn’t return for two hours . I’ve been waiting for medication that would help this situation. I.e. calm me down for an hour and a half already, because of the meal being stolen then add the extra two hours when she refused to do her job. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be loud on a psych ward when you’re having a meltdown , in particular or in this situation, I repeatedly told her I wasn’t mad at her. I wasn’t yelling at her and I still didn’t get the care i needed paid for and deserved. This just happened to me last week. I’m still angry about it. If someone comes out of surgery, they’re gonna be out of it they’re mind a bit gonna be in pain as a result they might be verbally aggressive. They might be screaming . If someone has had A brain injury or brain surgery they’re going to act out of character, they will swear they will curse they will act bizarre. That’s what you signed up for nurses and doctors that your job. Don’t like it get another one. I’m not saying that you deserve to be attacked sexually or physically attacked. However, you will on occasion here people raise their voice and rightfully so they might be panicked. They might be in pain they might be in a psychotic break. How dare hospitals throw patients out because they swore at someone when they clearly need medical attention. In some cases, attention and medical care that would prevent them from killing themselves
Sadly Russel, in my large teaching hospital in the US we have signs all over about how we don’t tolerate aggressive behavior toward staff. Maybe it’s just the English speaking countries that have this problem. 🤔
Nope... happens here in China. A patient was getting aggressive with a doctor and I was getting ready to intervene when another foreigner held me back.
I miss the curved croissants 😢
In Australia we have a massive problem with ambos being abused whilst taking people to hospital.
Queenslander
Same in South Africa. Mind boggling.
Not the only country in the world. Not by a long shot. We’re just a little less direct about it in Canada. “Abuse will not be tolerated.” 😅
Russ, you've obviously not been to the states recently. And that's a good thing.
The thing where people don't buy vegetables that aren't perfect is not just a thing in the U.K.
Mr shane wilkes he attacks hospital staff
Now I know why some people enjoy NASCAR.
I don’t want to show off but in Australia we still have curved croissants… 😏
I thought it was just going to be Russell saying “what pisses me off” and there’s probably 8 minutes worth of him saying it
The greatest line ever Terry wogan is the only dj in the 70s who didn’t f**k kids
😂😂😂😂
I often wonder about corporate media sometimes. Slow news day and they just make up news and twist it, but curved croissants huh...that's wild
The sad thing is, you're not even the only country with "don't beat up your doctor" signs in hospitals.
No it really is, if you've travelled then you realise how lucky we are in the UK.
We used to be
🤠💜
I've farted in the bathtub waaay too many times not to know for a FACT that THAT is not the sound it makes😅
Unlike the smell, the noise doesn't bubble up like that. It's just Brruuubb followed by the sound of agitated water! If you sit crosslegged, you can get the tub to vibrate a bit and if your legs extend forward flat, it will build a cushion under your butt that will elevate you a bit. Follow me for further instructions😅
🥳🥳🥳🥳
March 14th Steak & BJ night.
Take good care of your mate on February 14th & you get Steak & GJ night one month later.
It is also Pi day so if you are really good & kind they will top the night with your favorite pie.
But saying things like "But Babe it is a made-up Hallmark holiday." and then do
The bare minimum or nothing at all you will never get Steak & BJ night...
Also, Never break up with them a week before or up to a week after.
Just wait until the Holiday has passed, if you ever cared at all do them that one kindness. IMHO
Have you seen lady ballers?
🏴
🏴☠️
@@Sgt-Wolf 🏴
@@HarveyOwens520 🏴☠️
The attacking nurses and doctors also happens in America
You should have raged about how they shouldn't even be called croissants (crescents), but should be 'droit' (straight).
Or should that be the feminine, 'droite'?
That should confuse some gammons.
Ooh.
Gammon and pineapple chocolate croissants.
The veggie have to be pretty die to EU rules.
You are lucky to get out from under such ridiculous regulatory conditions.
And I thought the U.S. was uniquely irrational ! I would still rather be in the UK than here any day !
We also throw uglie veggies away in America. If it doesn't look like the pop cultural potato, we'd think it's riddled with disease or something.
Actually when it comes to the veg it's not us, this is totally down to EU law which is why BREXIT is so good 😅😊
He is very funny. But to be honest you kinda get if people love England. I'm not from England originally, and I'm suprised why would other people like us so much, we are bit of an ass***. People born in England have famously good manners, everybody likes them.
I didn’t get a mobile phone until I left high school. They were around when I was in school, but didn’t need one until I left
I have respect for Russell Howard , However, I don't like that he wants to respect David Bowie ~ another British singer who was reported to have had sex with ( on two separate occasions ) a child . ♑️✍️🇳🇴🇦🇺
Having issues with the curve of a croissant, taking the time to write a supermarket chain about it, so you can purchase 'easy' croissants instead (and not having to learn a new skill)...
This could be a dictionary example for "white people problems"...
Right up there with:
"My soufflé has sprung a leak, and is collapsing onto itself... 😩"
have you heard the Americans and their 'land of the free'? I think every country does this.
Tbf ive lost hope for most of this country we celebrate the stupid Why Why ?
Hm, as others have mentioned stuff about this, let me chime in, too.
Nope, no "Please don´t attack the staff" signs in German hospitals. Just your regular "No Smoking" signs etc. I am pretty sure this happens enough in my country, though.
Just not enough to make a special sign for it - And we Germans, we love, just bloody LOVE signs. We have dozens, maybe hundreds of ´em for traffic alone Oo
Croissant means crescent, it is based on the Muslim symbol ... a straight one is just butter baked bread ...
I guess Russel never had to peel 100 funny shaped carrots. Or 10000 mini potatoes instead of 1000 medium sized for a school lunch.
Awkwardly left leaning folk who end up spoiling their comedy in order to please the masses, that's what pisses me off ❤
Apologised yet?