the idea that queer folks attach differently from heterosexual couples seems so obvious but i've honestly never thought of it. do you have a recommendation for sources to learn about queer psychology?
Honestly, at this point the resources are few. That's largely why I started this channel, to make this information more accessible. Especially in our current political climate, I think resources for people to learn more about themselves are essential. That said, HRC (Human Rights Campaign) and the Trevor Project are great organizations that link multiple articles and resources. Feel free to share anything you feel is helpful!
The Child A scenario is step for step exactly what I went through. First year of high school I even chose the least annoying boy in my class to 'have a crush on' so I could finally have my friends go 'omg you have a crush? Who is it, tell us!' because I felt so left out. After two weeks I forgot to maintain the fake crush because I was so uninterested in him. It feels so good to finally hear someone talk about it, people have been very dismissing of the isolation I went through before and it sucks
Really interesting concept. I've been learning about insecure attachment styles and the traumas that can undergird them lately, in an effort to understand my own relationship and career issues. What I've been finding odd is that SO MUCH of the content centers the family as the relevant source of trauma but I haven't necessarily found that to be the case for myself. Yes, I had traumatic circumstances in my youth, but the treatment I received from my peers, and being very religious as a child were absolutely major defining factors in my worldview and personality and no doubt my attachment style.
This is true, a lot of attachment theory is connected to early childhood. But the same principals would apply later when relying on people (or a person) who doesn't fulfill their end of the relationship. It has to be a two way street. 💙💙
Hi!!!! I have a question for you! I grew up in a very religious atmosphere, not quite Dugger status, but in a similar form, called Vision Forum and associated with Doug Philips, Calvinism, etc etc. I have a lot of religious trauma from this, so much so that I’m just now accepting and processing myself as a lesbian. I can tell I have a ton of internalized homophobia to work through as well. I’m currently talking to a woman, and she is absolutely wonderful, but I feel a wall up that I feel like I can’t get through. I’m not sure if that’s the wall you are talking about, but I realize that I got this way in the past everytime I got close to a woman, I’d put up this huge wall, and run and dive into a relationship with a man. I recognize this now, and I really want to get past this. How do I get through this self-made wall that is constructed from comphet and internalized homophobia? It is so frustrating because I want to make these connections and I feel like I’m self sabotaging myself and I hate it. Thank you SO much for your videos!! They are so helpful and wonderful!!! I'm an aspiring therapist, and hope I can make an impact like you as well
First of all, thank you for sharing part of your story here! And thank you for watching. As for your question, I would suggest checking in on the wall, if you will. Not therapeutic advice or anything, but it is a good practice when we have thoughts and feelings that don't match up to who we know ourselves to be, to check inward and be curious about where that thought comes from. For instance is it your voice that tells you to keep your distance, or the voice of, say, authority figures in your past telling you how bad and disobedient you are? Once you have that answer (and we probably both know what that is) thank it for the protection but it is not necessary. Remind yourself of the things that make you safe and whole and valid. And be compassionate to yourself, because you deserve it! 💛💛
Not random at all, I am obsessed with these prints! They are prints of Leonid Afremov paintings. He was a Modern Impressionist (passed in 2019) from the former Soviet Union and Israel. He used a palette knife in much (arguably most) of his later art. I also have a Slava Ilyayev, who has a very similar style. 💙💙💙
Wow I’ve never heard my experience echoed by a therapist so accurately! Thank u for the content
I am so glad you are watching! 💚💚
the idea that queer folks attach differently from heterosexual couples seems so obvious but i've honestly never thought of it. do you have a recommendation for sources to learn about queer psychology?
Honestly, at this point the resources are few. That's largely why I started this channel, to make this information more accessible. Especially in our current political climate, I think resources for people to learn more about themselves are essential.
That said, HRC (Human Rights Campaign) and the Trevor Project are great organizations that link multiple articles and resources. Feel free to share anything you feel is helpful!
The Child A scenario is step for step exactly what I went through. First year of high school I even chose the least annoying boy in my class to 'have a crush on' so I could finally have my friends go 'omg you have a crush? Who is it, tell us!' because I felt so left out. After two weeks I forgot to maintain the fake crush because I was so uninterested in him.
It feels so good to finally hear someone talk about it, people have been very dismissing of the isolation I went through before and it sucks
I am so sorry you have had to deal with people dismissing this very real experience. I am so glad you were able to find this video! 💜💜
Really interesting concept. I've been learning about insecure attachment styles and the traumas that can undergird them lately, in an effort to understand my own relationship and career issues. What I've been finding odd is that SO MUCH of the content centers the family as the relevant source of trauma but I haven't necessarily found that to be the case for myself. Yes, I had traumatic circumstances in my youth, but the treatment I received from my peers, and being very religious as a child were absolutely major defining factors in my worldview and personality and no doubt my attachment style.
This is true, a lot of attachment theory is connected to early childhood. But the same principals would apply later when relying on people (or a person) who doesn't fulfill their end of the relationship. It has to be a two way street. 💙💙
This is BLOWING my mind. I've hardly ever gotten such an eye opener in just a few minutes. Thank you!!
omg this is so great to hear! Thank you for watching, and taking the time to comment! 💛💛
oh..... so this is why i've never felt represented in discussions of healthy vs unhealthy relationships....
Yes, that would be a big part of the reason ❤️❤️
Very interesting video. I can definitely relate to child A. Thanks for your videos.
Thanks for watching! 💜💜💜
Thank you for explaining it in a way that is understandable!
Thank you for watching! 🤎🤎
This is excellent, thank you so much
Thank you for watching! 💛💛
Interesting Video, makes ya think. As usual watching your videos.
I appreciate that! 💛💛
Hi!!!! I have a question for you! I grew up in a very religious atmosphere, not quite Dugger status, but in a similar form, called Vision Forum and associated with Doug Philips, Calvinism, etc etc. I have a lot of religious trauma from this, so much so that I’m just now accepting and processing myself as a lesbian. I can tell I have a ton of internalized homophobia to work through as well. I’m currently talking to a woman, and she is absolutely wonderful, but I feel a wall up that I feel like I can’t get through. I’m not sure if that’s the wall you are talking about, but I realize that I got this way in the past everytime I got close to a woman, I’d put up this huge wall, and run and dive into a relationship with a man. I recognize this now, and I really want to get past this. How do I get through this self-made wall that is constructed from comphet and internalized homophobia? It is so frustrating because I want to make these connections and I feel like I’m self sabotaging myself and I hate it. Thank you SO much for your videos!! They are so helpful and wonderful!!! I'm an aspiring therapist, and hope I can make an impact like you as well
First of all, thank you for sharing part of your story here! And thank you for watching.
As for your question, I would suggest checking in on the wall, if you will. Not therapeutic advice or anything, but it is a good practice when we have thoughts and feelings that don't match up to who we know ourselves to be, to check inward and be curious about where that thought comes from. For instance is it your voice that tells you to keep your distance, or the voice of, say, authority figures in your past telling you how bad and disobedient you are? Once you have that answer (and we probably both know what that is) thank it for the protection but it is not necessary. Remind yourself of the things that make you safe and whole and valid. And be compassionate to yourself, because you deserve it! 💛💛
This is random but where did the paintings in the background come from they look so familiar
Not random at all, I am obsessed with these prints!
They are prints of Leonid Afremov paintings. He was a Modern Impressionist (passed in 2019) from the former Soviet Union and Israel. He used a palette knife in much (arguably most) of his later art. I also have a Slava Ilyayev, who has a very similar style.
💙💙💙
Well this made me cry ugly tears so there’s that.
I'm sorry! And also, let it OUT! 🧡🧡
Same!!!